#if you don't smile back are you even alive
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@yandere-romanticaa (aaand @harmonysanreads) i have an idea for yandere jingyuan 🤑🎀
imagine being his old lover that passed on because you were a short life species. you two loved each other dearly, at least from his point of view. so when you died, he was absolutely devastated, feeling empty even though he didn't show it on his face. he's the general of the luofu after all!
he didn't try moving on. why even bother? he knows it will never work, he'll never move on. you were everything and anything he needed. so he just leaves the house you two once shared in it's old condition, pretending you're still alive and by his side, talking to an empty house.
but then one particularly boring day, you reappeared, and with the astral express no less! he was flabbergasted, wide eyed and left stunned when he saw your familiar face walk the streets of the luofu, smiling like nothing was wrong. like you didn't take his heart and left him empty on the inside.
he couldn't even do anything, couldn't even muster up a simple 'hi' because of how shocked he was with your sudden reemergence. you... reincarnated? and now you're traveling with the express now? he didn't know how to feel.
but what he did know was that he had to get you back. of course he did! you belonged to him after all. thankfully he's now more mature, more experienced. he won't make the same mistakes he did when he was younger. no, he really doesn't want to have to restrain you again. he hates seeing you cry and yell at him, you know?
so when you and the astral express approached him to help the luofu for its crisis or something he acted like how he'd treat anyone else. acted approachable, like an easy going man who wouldn't dare think of anything as nasty as kidnapping or murder. he's grown more patient and knows how to hold back now in the time he's spent without you. even if he really wants to tear out that person's eyes for even glancing at you... he knows it'll scare you away and tear down the perception of him that he so carefully built up for you. so he held back. simply laughed and smiled at you as you told him about the people who confessed to you. oh well, at least he got to see your flushed cheeks and the way you grow flustered.
i mean, that smile he always has is just way too deceptive! anyone would think he's just a lazy and kind general! and maybe even get flustered because of his charming actions!
unfortunately you got charmed.
you fell for his charms, as he expected, and even told your express buddies that you'd settle down in the luofu after you solved the luofu's crisis with them. jingyuan couldn't be happier. ah, so your love for him carried on into the next life too? he just can't help but have a smug smile on his face once you confess to him.
it's even worse when he finds out your lifespan is longer than what it used to be. maybe even as long as a xianzhou native's? he's glad the aeons have decided to reward him for his dedication to you. he really can't bear losing you once more.
he gets the house prepared for your return, all innocent and sweet as he leads you back to your forever home that you used to fight so hard to leave. but don't worry! it's all for your own good! and he won't have to restrain you this time because he got your approval of love before making any moves.
all you have to do now is love him for the rest of your lives. that's simple enough right? he'll do all the hard work, all you need to do is welcome him home with open arms and a sweet smile on your face.
all you need to do is love. him. back.
and now you've also got a son (yanqing) to take care of! why would you ever leave him? you don't want him to get all sad now, would you?
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere drabbles#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere concept#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail#yandere jingyuan#yandere jing yuan#yandere jingyuan x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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Part 1!DEVOTION
Part 2
CREATOR!LUCIFER X READER
Summary: You feel trapped in the luxurious cage that Lucifer created.
Reading in dim light isn't really a good idea. Your eyes feel itchy and letters are running all across the page. Huffing in annoyance, you unwillingly close the book to go to sleep. Tonight is not just it, perhaps the lack of sleep has finally caught up to you. Your pillow feels a bit rocky as the book is carefully tucked under. That night, your dreams are made of angels joyfully singing their symphony, unaware of the angelic eyes watching your sleeping form.
Morning comes by as usual. You are woken up by the sweet smell of hot pancakes and the sight of a pair of neatly folded clothes thrown onto your bed. Lucifer has always insisted that you let him take care of almost everything around the house. You obviously don't agree. However, morning is something you would gladly give in. A big reason being his signature pancakes and the other being you don't have to wake up too early. Hastily put on the clothes he has put together for you, you rush to the kitchen, wanting to have breakfast as soon as possible.
Good morning! Did you sleep well? Lucifer cheerfully greets you with a toothy grin.
Very well! Are you going to be in the workshop today?
I’m afraid not, my dear. You see, Charlie insisted that we must make plans for the upcoming extermination.
Can I come too?
Your question makes Lucifer halts his cooking. You have expected this. He is always reluctant about you doing anything Heaven related, trying to steer your gaze elsewhere as if Heaven is the forbidden fruit of Hell. At least, that’s what it is in his eyes.
I’m sorry, sweetheart. You know what it is.
But don't you think it's time I-
Anne. We’ve talked about this.
Okay…
Lowering your head, you patiently wait for the food. You know better than to make any moves with that hint in his voice. It is one of his turnoffs that you come to notice during decades of living with him; even Charlie, his daughter, wouldn't have caught it on the spot like you. Lucifer once said: No one has known me quite like you.
…
I had a really shitty day.
Lucifer says as he slumps his head onto your shoulder. Pulling the blanket closer to the both of you, you let out an acknowledged hum:
Mind telling me what went wrong?
That fuck head radio demon. Do you know him? I think his name is Alastair? Nevermind that. Nothing important. His jackass thinks he can just simply swoon over Charlie and convince her I’m replaceable. Ugh can't fucking believe that.
You don't… normally swear. I guess that demon is pretty rough huh?
Lucifer lets out a huff and turns up the volume of the TV:
Yeah…
Tonight is just one of those movie nights: Lucifer talks over the movie about anything to you. Today is just one of those days. Every day is the same. You are a being yet incomplete as a being. You realize you are barely alive. He chooses your clothes. He cooks your food. He soothes your pain. He is everything. Slowly, everything around you doesn't make any sense. The noise coming from the tv becomes static and Lucifer’s voice seems so distant. Why are you even created? Is your sole existence destined to be some sort of amusement for the King? And why is he so avoidant about Heaven? Are you the problem?
Y/n. Y/n!
You immediately snap out of your messy thoughts. Something about Lucifer always manages to pull you right back. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he asked with a worried voice:
Did something happen?
You quickly turn your head to look at him. Your eyes filled with panic:
Oh! I think I’m just sleepy. Yeah… That's all.
Still, you know better than anything that is not enough. Nothing is enough for him, especially if it’s something from you. He lets out a pitiful smile and quietly turns off both the tv and the light, steps out of the bed. Before heading out, he doesn't forget to say his usual goodnight to you. How ironic. You think. He knows you are not going to have a good night. However, you greatly appreciate the personal space he gives you. You give in to exhaustion and slump back to the bed. Like a habit, you reach out to take your book under the pillow. Last night, you left at the most interesting part-the dawn of humanity. Excitement fills you to the brim just thinking about-
There is no book.
Refusing to believe the loss, you throw the pillow out of your sight, only to be greeted with disappointment. Many scenarios play out inside your little head. There is no doubt this is the work of Lucifer. He must have known from the beginning and let you slip through for a while. You can't bear to imagine the things he would do if he losed control. Self-control is one of his greatest strengths. Although, you are not so sure about that right now. After evaluating everything, you decide that it is best to sleep right now and deal with the problem in the morning. That night, your dreams are made of demons gawking and gnawing at your frail form, unaware of the angelic eyes watching your sleeping form. Every day is not the same anymore.
#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin lucifer#lucifer imagine#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar fanfiction#lucifer morningstar imagine#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer angst#hazbin fanfic#hazbin fanfiction#hazbin imagine#fanfic#fanfiction
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Title: When I Was Your Man (Wooyoung)
Pairing- Wooyoung x fem!reader (ft. Yunho)
Genre- angst, suggestive, fluff if you squint (warnings: mature language, mentions of sex, cheating & alcohol)
Word Count- 9.9k
Summary- The story in which Wooyoung didn’t know how good he had it with you until you were no longer his. Alternatively, you’ve moved on with someone who made you happy now. Someone who didn’t take you for granted. And Wooyoung didn’t like how it wasn’t him.
A/N- This story is inspired by the songs When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars & Just A Dream by Nelly, so please give them a listen if you want :) Also, Italicized scenes represent flashbacks. Disclaimer: this fic is in no way meant to portray Wooyoung irl, it’s just fiction :D
-
“How do I look?” You twirled around in your flowy white sundress and you looked absolutely stunning in Wooyoung’s eyes.
“You look gorgeous, babe.” He couldn’t take his eyes off you as he stood up from the picnic blanket to walk towards you. His hands went on your waist, pulling you closer towards him. While your arms snaked around his neck. There was a sparkle in your eyes and Wooyoung swore he saw the whole galaxy in them. He could see how much love you had for him and his heart swelled from it all. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted you to be his forever.
The sun was bright as it shined down on the both of you but it wasn’t hot. The weather was breezy, the grass was green, and the blue sky was clear. The day was perfect for what he had planned and he couldn’t wait to surprise you with the ring.
It was your fourth year anniversary and he just wanted to make this day perfect for you. You loved picnics and nature so here he was at the Han River. He prepared your favorite flowers and even cooked your favorite foods. He couldn’t wait to recount this special moment to his future kids one day. To tell them that this was where he proposed to their mother. It was a memorable place too since it was where you both had your first date. He still remembered the early days where he’d chase after you because you’d turn down his efforts. It was hard to score a date with you but he knew you had your reasons. He used to be the type to mess around and had a bad reputation so he didn’t blame you. If he was you, he wouldn’t have given him a chance either.
But thanks to that one date where you gave him a chance despite everyone telling you not to, he found the love of his life. And here she was, beautiful as ever.
“Do you see us together as an old couple?” you randomly asked, causing Wooyoung to raise a brow.
“What?” There was a smirk creeping at his lips. You were so cute with your random questions.
“I was just thinking. We’d look cute together with our gray hair and all, don't you think?” You were playing with the back of his hair and looking at him like he was your whole world.
“Yeah we would." The way you smiled at him made him feel like a teenage boy all over again. He was so happy. "I love you,” he mumbled.
“I love you too.” Your voice was gentle. Gosh, he loved your voice. Your eyes were glossy and full of admiration too and he could just tell you were about to lean in for a kiss. So before you could, he backed up and got on one knee, pulling a ring out of his pocket.
“Y/N, will you marry me?” It was insane how alive you made him feel. What did he ever do before you? He didn’t want to imagine a life without you ever again.
Your hand flew to your mouth as your eyes said yes, but before you could verbally respond, the sky behind you was rumbling and turned a deep shade of blue and grey. You both stared up at the tenebrous sky.
“Wooyoung? What’s happening?” you asked, your voice weak. But he didn’t know what to tell you. He was unsure as well.
Wooyoung tried to stand up but he kept tripping since the ground began to shake too. Just what was going on? Was this an Earthquake? It didn't make sense. If this were an Earthquake, surely it would just be the ground. What was up with the sky? It was just so pretty a minute ago but now it was so dark and gloomy out of no where.
A muffled “babe,” rang in his ear so he turned his attention back to you, only to realize that you were gone. It was as if you had just vanished into thin air. He began to look around. Just where did everyone go? Even the picnic he had prepared for you vanished too.
All that was left of the scenery was just the field of grass, the river, and a thunderstorm. He stared up at the gloomy sky. Then all of a sudden, a lighting strike struck the ground a few feet in front of him. Startled, he scrambled backwards, trying to get away.
He blinked one more time as he fell backwards, then suddenly everything turned dark.
Wooyoung jumped, sitting up right away. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of his dresser and TV in front of him. He glanced down at himself, then realized that he was back in his room.
Fuck, was it all a dream?
His hand immediately went to his forehead. Just why was his head pounding so soon in the morning?
“Babe.” A female voice muttered from beside him.
Wooyoung turned towards the owner of the voice. That wasn’t you, he realized. He frowned.
“How did you sleep?” she asked, while grabbing onto his clammy hands. “You were smiling so much in your sleep and even said ‘I love you’ and then all of a sudden you were quiet. Were you dreaming of me? Did you mean it?” Her smile annoyed him so much.
Wooyoung couldn’t help but glare at Ryujin. She was the reason you left him. He met her at the club one night after an argument with you. He tried to push her away but she kept coming onto him and eventually he gave in. Wooyoung kept blaming Ryujin for being the reason you dumped him. But deep down, he knew it wasn’t her fault. She only gave him the bait, he was the one that bit onto it. So as much as he blamed everyone around him for his actions, deep down he knew he had no one to blame but himself.
“You should go,” he said absent-mindedly. Ryujin only reminded him of what he had with you. He didn’t even want to see her anymore. It only made him feel disgusted and dirty. Even more so than he already felt.
“But shouldn’t we talk about us? We’ve been having sex for months now. What are we? Should we just make it official?” She asked as she clung onto his arm.
And Fuck, was she annoying.
“I told you I wasn’t looking for anything serious. So get out. And let this be the last time you’re here too because whatever we had ends today.” His voice was assertive and cold. He wasn’t playing around.
“But babe-”
“Go!” His voice grew louder and Ryujin started to tear up as she rummaged through the mess on the floor for her clothing.
Before Ryujin left, she looked at him one last time. "She'll never take you back. What you and her had is long over. You can take it out on me all you want but you were the one that begged me to distract you that night. Remember that." She waited for him to respond but when he didn’t, she stormed off.
Wooyoung just stared blankly at his dresser when she went off on her tantrum. He was so damn tired of her. He knew what she was trying to do. She wanted him to care and start an argument but he didn't even care about himself, let alone give two fucks about her.
He glanced around his bedroom when she left. It was a mess. There were piles of clothes everywhere, empty water bottles sprawled at every corner, and sheets that haven’t been washed in months. He was living in absolute filth. And yet none of it mattered. Nothing in his life has mattered since the day you left.
Wooyoung rubbed at his eyes once more when he heard his apartment door slam. Finally, she was gone.
That dream he just had about proposing to you gave him a wake up call. Just what was he doing with his life engaging in meaningless hook ups?
He’d been trying to fill the void for four months now, sleeping wth Ryujin and random girls at the club every night. But shit got boring real quick when sex was all they had to offer. He began to crave the emotional connection that one has when in a relationship. The emotional connection that came with having someone genuinely care about him. And to think, he once found it suffocating and annoying to have someone care so much about him.
But now? It was all he wanted.
He tried to move on. He really did. But he just couldn’t stop comparing every girl to you.
No one could ever fill the void you left in his heart. He missed you so much but he knew you deserved better. You were happy with someone else now and he had to live with that. After all, he was the one that cheated and took you for granted. And now you were with someone better. Someone who didn’t take you for granted.
Wooyoung wasn’t going to cry again, he told himself. He had work and the hangover was bad enough. He had to get started on his day and stop thinking of you.
He showered, brushed his teeth, dressed himself, then walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, but there was nothing inside but a couple beers. His stomach was growling and the hangover from last night was killing him. His mind momentarily drifted to you since he was so used to you making breakfast for him. Yet another thing he took for granted.
He sighed. He barely ate these days. But for the sake of survival, he had too.
After rummaging through the cabinets, he finally managed to find a snack that wasn’t too bad. It was a custard dessert that had been expired for a month now. And since he had nothing else to eat, he settled for that. It was better than starving.
“I have to get ready for work,” Wooyoung whined with a smile on his face. The both of you had just woken up and you couldn’t stop smothering him with kisses. He loved moments like this with you but he already wasted an hour to sleep in. If you kept kissing and pressing your body against his, he was sure he was going to get hard and be late for work. He had to start getting ready for the day and so he reluctantly pushed you back. “We can finish this when I get home okay baby? I really need to brush my teeth now.”
You smiled back at him. You had bedhead and you were sure there was probably crust in your eyes but still, Wooyoung looked at you as if you were the most beautiful person on Earth. “I’ll make you breakfast while you shower then,” you offered as you stood up. “Do you want pancakes again?”
“You know me so well, baby." He kissed your forehead before hopping in the shower. He loved you so much. You always offered to do everything for him and you knew his preferences so well. How did he get so lucky? “I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too.” You smiled at him.
A tear trailed down Wooyoung’s eyes as he grabbed his keys on the kitchen island. He missed your voice so much. He’d do anything to hear your voice telling him that you loved him again. But he had to stop thinking about you. He had to get it together for work.
During his commute, he turned on the radio to distract his thoughts. But he should’ve known better. It was Valentine’s Day and the radio was full of love songs. He switched from station to station but every damn one was just love song after love song.
The joy he felt when he finally got to a station that wasn't playing a love song was indescribable. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he listened to the advertisement for some dish soap. Never has he been more excited to think about washing the dishes. He used to love cooking, and just remembered, making a mental note to go get groceries after work. Right as he was getting into the mood of dish soap, the radio host began to talk about Valentine’s Day and before he knew it, another love song started to play.
He was one second away from changing the song when he heard the intro. Then his hand froze.
It was your favorite song.
The song you and him danced to last Valentine's day in the living room of his apartment.
You scrolled on Spotify to find the song 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeren. It was your favorite love song of all time. You've always dreamed of dancing to this song with the love of your life and now that you found him, you wanted to make the dream a reality.
"Dance with me.” You dragged him by the hands to the empty area of the living room and placed your hands around his neck.
"I don't know, babe. I just ate a lot of pasta. I very much overate." Wooyoung patted his tummy and you playfully rolled your eyes. His hands found home on your waist anyway despite him feeling too full to even move. There was no way he was going to deny you this dance. Not when you looked so happy.
"You shouldn't have eaten so much then."
"Not my fault you make the best pasta."
You smiled. "Just follow my lead, you dramatic baby. You'll be fine."
You both started to slow dance to the music, staring into each other’s eyes. The lights were perfectly dimmed and the mood was as romantic as it could ever be. Despite not wanting to dance at first, Wooyoung eventually found himself getting into the grove. He loved you so much. He felt like his heart could burst at any second as he stared into your pretty eyes.
“Babe?” He mumbled.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
-
After work, Wooyoung was so tired.
He just wanted to sleep and forget about his boring life but then his friends-- Mingi and Seonghwa-- showed up at his door unannounced and now here he was at the bar, drinking again. He told himself he was done with hookups this morning but he still needed something to numb the pain. Numb the thoughts. Anything to get his mind off you.
And alcohol was always reliable.
“I know it sucks seeing couples all around you but what happened to that Ryujin girl? Haven’t you been seeing her for months now?” Mingi asked.
“She’s gone. It didn’t mean anything. So I ended it.” Wooyoung mumbled, downing another shot.
“Alright, that’s enough. We brought you here to have a good time, not blackout again. It’s been four months. She’s moved on and so should you.” Seonghwa insisted, taking the shot glass away from him. It was obvious his friends hated seeing him like that. They missed the upbeat and social Wooyoung. The one that could carry a conversation with anyone and make everyone laugh.
These days, Wooyoung was just angry and sad.
A former shell of himself.
“I’m a terrible person." Wooyoung stated. He wasn't even begging for compliments, he just wanted his friends to know that and hate him just as much as he hated himself. He tried to push everyone away but his friends knew better than to let Wooyoung waste his life away and pity himself.
“Yeah, you are terrible.” Mingi said honestly. “But she’s happy now. Did you see her Instagram pictures? She’s dating a new guy now and he's attractive. You should find someone too. That girl over there,” Mingi pointed out, "She's into you, I can feel it."
"I'm done with hook ups, so no thanks. And she blocked me so no I didn't see shit,” Wooyoung mumbled.
His friends tried to get him to be himself again. To socialize and talk to people again. But their efforts were fruitless. All Wooyoung wanted to do was drink and he did exactly that.
And by the end of the night, it would be Mingi who carried him back into his apartment while Seonghwa tucked him in. He had to hold back the urge to scold Wooyoung for letting his bedroom accumulate into a mess of a landfill.
“Y/N,” Wooyoung mumbled drunkenly, tugging on Seonghwa’s arms with his eyes shut, “Don’t leave me.”
Seonghwa sighed, knowing how you used to tuck Wooyoung in every night when he came back drunk. You did so much for him, even when you had your suspicions.
Seonghwa felt like Wooyoung was stupid for cheating and lying. But he also empathized with him. Wooyoung punished himself enough. And while there was nothing he could do to fix his past mistakes, he could move on and change for the better. Because life went on.
And Seonghwa only hoped Wooyoung would realize this before it was too late.
[ 4 months ago ]
It was your fourth year anniversary with Wooyoung and you were so excited.
Despite the frequent arguments and how distant he has become the past four weeks, you pushed it all aside. Today was a special day and you wouldn’t let anything ruin it.
Wanting to look your best, you even got your hair done the other day. You tried to wait for him after work yesterday but he came home late again because of work. Something always came up these days, but you supposed it was alright. It was inevitable.
You woke up extra early thanks to the alarm on your phone. You had to get a head start to surprise him with a good breakfast before work. You couldn't wait to sit down and eat breakfast with him for once. When was the last time you and him ate together in the mornings? You couldn't even recall.
After two hours, you finished Wooyoung’s favorite chocolate chip pancakes along with eggs and his favorite latte. You then did your makeup and wore his favorite white sundress on you. You couldn’t wait to get his reaction to what you prepared. You even got him flowers for once since you read online that men rarely received flowers in their lifetime.
After setting up everything on the dinner table, you sat on the sofa and held the bouquet of roses in your hands while you waited for him to finish getting ready. You heard his alarm ring a while ago and you couldn’t hold in your excitement, bouncing your leg the whole time.
The moment he walked into the kitchen, you came towards him with flowers and kissed him good morning on the cheek despite how he didn't even look up. He was always texting. Always on his phone. “Did you sleep well? You come home so late these days, I rarely see your face anymore.” You tried to smile, you really did. But he was still on his damn phone. You grimaced when you saw how he didn’t even acknowledge you. “Babe?” you tried again.
“Yeah?” he grumbled, eyes still glued to his messages app. It was probably his friend or another family member, you convinced yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was ask him who it was again.
Especially after he went off on you for being 'nosey' the other week.
“Who are you always texting these days? I thought you didn’t like texting much.”
“Just my cousin,” he sighed, eyes glued to his phone on date night.
“Right.”
Then finally, he looked up at you. But he looked annoyed. “What exactly does ‘right’ mean? You're so nosey these days Y/N, what happened to privacy? Don't you trust me?”
“You know what? No, I don't trust you anymore. Because who the hell texts their cousin long ass paragraphs with heart emojis every hour of the day? You must think I’m stupid don’t you?”
“You’re overreacting. You know how she’s about to graduate. She just wants advice on the job market.”
“Right.”
“There you go again.” He rolled his eyes. “You don’t believe me do you? Just say it. Whatever you’re thinking, just say it!”
“Are you cheating on me?”
“No. I’m not. I can't even believe you're even accusing me of that! We've been together almost four years now and you still don't trust me? What do I have to do for you to believe me, huh?”
“Show me your messages right now.” You were never like this. You never got jealous to this extent. But he was making you insane with how distant and dismissive he was being.
The past month? Wooyoung always came home late. He was cold. He didn't touch you anymore. His kisses were chaste. And most of all, his work clothes reeked of a woman’s perfume. And when you confronted him about it? He just brushed it off. Something about his old lady coworker always giving him a hug before clocking off. But did that old coworker also give him the marks on his neck? Yeah, you weren't stupid.
“You can’t be serious,” he scoffed. “You’re so insecure these days, it’s actually insane. You know what? You either trust me or you don’t. I’m leaving.”
“Where are you going? It’s late!” You threw your fork on the table, and jumped up only to be met by the slam of the door.
You were so angry and annoyed at him for always leaving during an argument. You just wanted to talk things through for once but he would always lie or shift the blame on you and make you feel crazy. You didn’t know how much you could take it anymore.
You were stupidly in love with him. But you weren’t stupid. You knew something was going on. There had to be someone else.
You just didn’t have proof.
You couldn’t stop the tears that day. He didn’t come home that night and once again, you slept on the sofa, waiting for him to return.
Taking a deep breath, you tried not to think about that memory anymore as you plastered on a pretty smile for your fourth year anniversary.
Even if he was different now, you knew the Wooyoung you fell in love with was still there. Somewhere.
So despite your doubts, you were going to attempt to make this relationship work. No relationship was perfect. And you weren’t going to get deterred so easily. You wouldn’t give up just yet.
“What do you think of my hair?” you beamed, turning around to show him the back. “I just got it done yesterday.”
“Looks great,” he sighed, but you could tell he didn't even bother to look up from his phone.
“You didn’t even look,” you sulked.
“I did look and I said it looks great, what else do you want me to say?” he grumbled as he looked you dead in the eyes. “I need to get to work now, Google maps says there’s traffic on the way.”
“Oh,” you sighed. Disappointed, you placed the bouquet of roses (that he didn’t even noticed were for him) onto the counter. “Well take some pancakes with you then, I’ll wrap them up for you.”
“It’s fine. I’m not hungry.”
“But you love these pancakes. I even woke up early to make them for you.”
“Yeah, well I didn’t ask you to do that. I used to like them but you make them practically everyday now, don't you get sick of them? Because I do.” He raised his voice. Something he did so much these days and yet you still felt a tear prick at your eye.
“You could’ve just told me that earlier...” You felt your voice get smaller as your eyes brimmed with tears. You’ve cried a lot the past month because of Wooyoung but the fact that today was your fourth year anniversary and he was acting like this made you frustrated.
“How can I tell you anything when you always start crying like this?” He clenched his jaw, and he seemed annoyed. Was he annoyed?
“You could’ve just said it nicer.” You wiped your tears.
“Fuck, you’re so annoying,” he exclaimed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “ Can you stop being a crybaby for once? You always make me out to be the bad guy.”
“Well you haven't exactly been nice these days. What is up with you Wooyoung? Is work that stressful?” You tried to stay calm, in contrast to how your boyfriend was raising his voice. Was this how it was now that the honeymoon phase ran its course?
“Not everything is about work.” He glanced at the time again. “You know what, it’s way too early to be arguing again, I’m tired of this. I'm tired of you. You always have to get so emotional.” He reached for his keys then walked away.
“So that’s how it’s going to be then? Every time I want to talk, you brush things off? We never communicate anymore, we need to talk things through if we’re going to make this relationship work."
“I need to go, we’ll talk after work.” He said dismissively as he walked towards the front door.
“I love-“ you didn’t even finish before the apartment door slammed in your face. He never said I loved you anymore, nor did he give you a kiss before going to work. But you supposed you shouldn’t be surprised.
Immediately after he left, you checked Google maps, inputting his usual route to work to check for traffic. Please let it be the truth. Please. Please.
But there was no traffic.
It was just another lie.
You couldn’t stop the tears the moment he left, it was as if all the bottled up emotions from the past month just came out. A part of you wondered what you did wrong. What made him so tired of you. He used to look at you with stars in his eyes but now it was more like annoyance. Resentment even.
Today was supposed to be special and yet he didn’t even seem to remember your fourth year anniversary. Or maybe he knew all along but he just didn’t care.
-
After work, he didn’t come home.
It was 10 P.M now and you were worried sick. He would usually at least tell you that he’d come home late but there was nothing today at all. No call. No short text.
You spent hours preparing his favorite pasta and steak for your anniversary dinner but it all went cold now on the dinner table. You even bought his favorite champagne, and lit some candles but it seemed like your efforts were fruitless. He wasn’t coming home tonight.
Was it work again? He always had something at work holding him up but you never thought he’d take on the extra load and be purposely late on such a special day.
Eventually, you fell asleep on the sofa waiting for him.
-
It would be around 2 A.M. when you jolted awake from the loud knock at your door. Groaning, you got up from the sofa and opened the door.
You rubbed your eyes. It was Seonghwa. And then there was Wooyoung, drunk as hell to the point he couldn't even stand by himself. Nothing new, but on your anniversary? Really?
Seonghwa made his way through the door and passed Wooyoung off to you on the sofa while you stood at the door, frozen. His friend tried to explain to you that he was just out drinking with the guys and got carried away but you knew better. You saw the lipstick on Wooyoung's collar.
When his friend left that night, all you could do was stare at Wooyoung who was fast asleep on the sofa.
Your thoughts and self doubt began to run wild. Where did things go wrong? When did he stop loving you?
You ran out of tears at this point. All you had was regret that you ever gave him a chance. Maybe if you never met him, you’d be happy right now. Instead, you were a fool and now you were tangled up in a web of loving him.
Despite this, you hated how you still cared for him. You tried to carry his weight to the bedroom and change him into more comfortable clothes. It took a while but you finally managed to get off his shirt. He stirred awake in the process and started to mumble a string of words you couldn't make out. You stood between his legs and he couldn’t stop smiling and moving his head.
“Ryujin? Is it you, babe?” he muttered, “Fuck you’re beautiful.” He tried to pull you into his lap but you didn’t budge, too taken aback by the whole situation.
You took a step back. “What did you just call me?”
“Ryujin?” He tried to open his eyes, but they barely opened. Why would he be calling his cousin beautiful? That was when you knew he was lying to you about texting his cousin.
“It’s Y/N.” You tried to tell him, shaking him awake by the shoulders.
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. Annoyed even.
“Are you cheating on me?” You knew he’d lie if he was sober but he was drunk right now and a drunk person couldn’t filter their thoughts. This was your only chance to get the confirmation you needed and you took it. You knew the moment he woke up tomorrow, he’d just push you away again and make you feel crazy for doubting him.
“There you go again!” he mumbled loudly, throwing his hands in the air. “So what if I did? I’m so fucking tired of you. Always so clingy and insecure, it’s so damn suffocating. But Ryujin? She's sooooo good, makes me feel so good.” He smiled as he continued to ramble on and off about her. His words were slurred and he was incoherent but you were still able to make out his words. And that was all it took for you to stumble back.
He called you clingy. And that was rich coming from Wooyoung. Because if anything, he was always the clingy one in the relationship, the one to be overly jealous, and sulk whenever you were being too nice and smiling towards anyone who was a male. He was overly affectionate and touchy too so the thought that he found it annoying when you did those things back? It ticked you off.
Then he called you insecure. Yet he was the one that never made you feel loved anymore. He treated you like shit and made you this way.
So really, you should’ve realized something was wrong last month, the moment he turned away your morning kisses. But you just kept giving him the benefit of the doubt and look where that got you.
You felt disgusted and betrayed as you looked back at him. You should’ve known better. You smelled perfume on him for a month now yet you always convinced yourself that you were just overreacting. That the Wooyoung you loved wouldn’t do this to you. But you were wrong and all men were the same.
You didn’t even say anything as you watched him spill his thoughts. It wasn’t until he mumbled, “just go away, I’m sleepy,” that you realized you hated him. You couldn’t even stand to look at his face anymore.
So if he wanted you to go, you'd go.
You didn’t want to talk to him ever again. So with anger bubbling in your chest, you decided to leave a break up letter on the kitchen island near his car keys.
There were no tears anymore but your whole body felt so fragile and weak, like it could shatter at any moment. Your hands were trembling as you pulled your suitcase from the closet and packed your things. You managed to get half of your belongings in there before zipping it shut. You’d just come back for your belongings the next Monday when he was at work. Thankfully you didn’t own much and since this was Wooyoung’s apartment, you didn’t need to worry about anything.
-
The next day, Wooyoung woke up with a pounding headache. Confused, and nauseous.
Just what the hell happened last night? And why was his shirt off? He glanced around his room and everything looked normal. He then sniffed his arm, smelling the lingering scent of alcohol and weed from last night at the club and decided he needed a shower.
After he got cleaned and dressed, he got ready for the day. When he walked into the kitchen, he didn’t see you and felt a sense of relief wash over him. He could have some peace and quiet today without you nagging or being annoying.
As he passed by the dinner table, he couldn’t help but notice the two plates of steak and pasta. Did you make that? There was also his favorite champagne from Trader Joe’s, rose petals, and a candle for some reason.
Then it hit him.
Was yesterday the fourth year anniversary already?
He groaned, feeling somewhat bad for leaving so abruptly yesterday, but he figured he’d just apologize when you got home from the market. Since you always went out shopping for groceries early on a Saturday.
He then passed by the kitchen island and saw a folded note next to a bouquet of flowers that also had a note wedged into the middle.
Curious, he read the letter in the bouquet first.
Note: I read somewhere that only 12 percent of men receive flowers in their lifetime. I feel like a shitty girlfriend for never realizing this over the past years but I plan to get you flowers more often now to show my love. I know we haven’t been like us lately, but I hope today will change that. Happy 4th anniversary babe, I love you. -Yours forever, Y/N
Wooyoung sighed. Okay, he was starting to feel real bad and guilty now. He remembered you holding the roses in your hand yesterday morning but he didn’t know they were for him. You were always so thoughtful.
He rubbed at his temple then opened the other letter.
Note: You’re probably too drunk to remember last night but you finally told me about Ryujin. Is she the girl you’ve been texting with all day? The girl you lied to my face about? You didn’t need to lie to me but I guess it was just exciting for you to cheat wasn’t it? You always did love the chase. I must’ve gotten too boring and clingy for you as it was heading towards our 4th year. We could’ve both been happier if you just said something and broke up with me but since you’re such a coward, I’ll do it for you. We’re done. That way you can be with that girl all you want. I’ll stop by later this week to pick up the rest of my stuff.
Wooyoung needed to sit down. His head was killing him. He pulled out a chair at the dining table, and rested his elbows on the marble. His eyes glazed over the remnants of what was supposed to be a romantic anniversary dinner last night and he felt something twist in his stomach.
He wanted this didn’t he? He was so sick of you. But then why did he feel so empty now that you broke up with him?
He knew he was a shitty person. He had forgotten about your anniversary… but he also knew that was trivial compared to the bigger problem. The fact that he had cheated, lied to you about it, and you found out.
You had planned a whole dinner and tried to call him. But instead of picking up your calls, he ignored it and ditched you for the club. He was certain he was tired of your constant arguing. For a month now, he was so tired of seeing your face everyday. Wooyoung couldn’t pinpoint the reason because you were truly just being a good partner, but you were starting to suffocate him. It wasn’t even like you were even clingy, if anything he was the more clingy and touchy one in the relationship. But then why did he say it?
His head was spinning as he tried to figure out what exactly the hell he told you last night. He was so certain he was tired of you but then why did he feel so guilty?
Wooyoung tried to call you when it was after noon and you still weren’t home yet but it didn’t go through.
Did you block him already?
As the day went on, he started to remember bits and pieces of what he said to you last night. He also recalled how annoyed he was with you for accusing him of cheating even though he was.
He then decided to call Seonghwa to catch him up with last night’s events but all he could tell him was that he wouldn’t stop drinking and flirting with the bartender despite him trying to get him to go home to you.
He swore he would stop sooner but Ryujin was just so addicting. She brought a spark to his boring life and made him feel excited again. You and him were together for so long that there wasn’t much to talk about anymore, not much to experiment with, but with Ryujin? She didn’t know anything about him and it was fun talking to her. And maybe it was the thrill, but it was even more fun to mess around behind your back. She was a good fuck and made him forget about his mundane life that he had to wake up to every day.
So was it love? No. But she made him feel alive in the moment and that was all Wooyoung cared about.
He didn’t know why but he just felt so trapped living the same day every day. Even with you there beside him, he felt lonely. Every morning he’d wake up, go to work, then he’d get home and see your face. He was tired of his mundane life which was why he went out with the boys so frequently again. At first it was just for drinks and to let loose but then Ryujin who was a regular there kept flirting with him. At first he pushed her away but then he eventually gave in. He regretted it but what could he do? The damage was already done and he didn’t know how to end it either so he just kept on seeing her behind your back.
But you? He loved you. You were there for him when through thick and thin and always took care of him when he was sick. So yes, he cheated, but he still loved you. Even if he hadn’t been showing it lately.
-
The next day was Sunday. His day off. But he couldn’t get himself to rest like he usually would.
He tried to call your friends but none of them would answer. Did you tell them about the breakup already? Did they hate him? He even tried to call your parents and siblings but no one would pick up. He then took a drive to your parent’s house and held hope when he saw your car in the driveway. He knocked and knocked but no one would open the door. He knew you were inside but you didn’t open it.
He wanted to talk so bad. To make things right again. But it wouldn’t be until Friday that he had the chance.
Wooyoung was supposed to be at work but he ended up using up five of his vacation days to catch you and get the chance to talk. He knew how you had to come over to pick up your stuff eventually. And knowing you, you would choose a time when he was at work to do so.
It was around 10 A.M when he heard his front door unlock. Wooyoung took a deep breath before walking out, hoping you’d at least give him a chance to explain.
“Hey,” he began as he watched you open your suitcase to pack your fake plants that were on his bookshelf. But instead of saying hi back, you just ignored him, not even bothering to spare him a glance. That was fair, he supposed. “Can we talk?”
“A little late for that, don't you think?” You tried to hurry up and pack your decorations in a way that wouldn’t crush them.
“Please just listen,” he pleaded. “I know what I did was wrong, but it was a mistake, I really was going to end it, Ryujin never meant anything to me.”
“It wasn’t a mistake, Wooyoung. You cheated on me and when I confronted you about it, you switched it on me and called me crazy and insecure. You lied straight to my face then got the nerve to get angry about it.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “I should’ve known the moment you came home with perfume on your suit. I knew it, you know? I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
“You’re not stupid. And for the last time, it was a mistake. I was just so damn tired with work and everyday became so boring, and she was there-“
“How long?” For the first time today, you looked at him dead in the eyes. There was no love in them anymore, just cold set eyes.
“Does it matter?” he sighed.
"How long?" You repeated calmly.
“A month. I’m sorry, okay?”
“You’re not sorry,” you laughed. “You're just sorry you got caught. What? Is she prettier than me? Skinnier? You always did have a thing for models. I wasn’t enough for you was I? Was it the sex? You know what? I don't wanna know.” You then got up and went towards the bathroom to get the rest of your skincare and makeup.
He groaned as he trailed behind you. “Can't we just work through this? You wanted to talk on Friday, let's talk now. How about we talk about it over dinner tonight to celebrate our fourth year anniversary?”
You stood up from your kneeled position to look him dead in the eyes again. “Do you honestly believe we can just talk and go back like nothing happened? You cheated on me, fucked her every night I was waiting for you in our bed, then lied about it for weeks.” Your voice didn’t falter, it didn’t crack. You no longer felt the need to say exactly what was on your mind.
“Come on, it was a mistake,” he pleaded. “It’s not like you’re perfect either, you always flirt with that barista.”
You had to laugh, it was comical how he was turning this on you again. “I was being polite to the barista, a smile and asking how his morning went is not flirting so don’t you dare turn this on me. I wasn’t the one that cheated. A mistake is one time Wooyoung, and even then it doesn’t justify cheating. You cheated on me nearly every day so you know what was a mistake? Us. I should've never given you the chance. All my friends warned me about you back when we were in college but I didn’t listen. My parents tried to set me up with this nice guy who could’ve easily made me happy but I chose you. Everyone told me you were bad news but I didn’t listen and I chose you and looked where that got me. I wasted four, five years of my life for this.” You threw your hands in the air, so angry at the life you chose for yourself. “You know what? It doesn’t matter, I’m over this.” You zipped up your suitcase then made your way out of the bathroom.
“So what? You’re just going to flush this 4 year relationship down the drain?” He followed after you.
“Don’t blame this on me. You were the one that did that the moment you cheated. I’m leaving Wooyoung and I hate you. Oh, and here’s your key,” you threw it at his chest, “I don’t ever want to see you again.” You made sure he heard it clear before you slammed his door.
Wooyoung wanted to run after you but he couldn’t. His legs felt like jelly and all he could do was think about how he just lost the best thing that has ever happened to him. And it was all his fault.
-
After your breakup with Wooyoung, you did everything to distract yourself and threw yourself at your work. While things were good while it lasted, you just wanted to close this chapter of your life. You found yourself sad sometimes but you genuinely had no more tears left to cry. You just didn’t want to live in the past anymore. You refused to let him take over your future too.
After a month of staying with your parents, you managed to find a roommate you got along with well and she was amazing. She quickly became a friend you could count on and even introduced you to her male friend who just got out of a relationship too. His name was Yunho and he was so tall and handsome. You both bonded over your exes, work, post-grad life, childhoods, anything and everything. Turns out you were two even in a Modern Physics class together one semester and even had mutual college friends. You both had so much in common that it was like a match made in Heaven. He made you so happy.
But since you were both still ‘fresh’ out of a long term relationship, you both took it slow.
-
The post break up life for Wooyoung wasn’t as liberating as he thought it would be. He was a mess.
At first, he thought he would be fine. He rejoiced in the freedom actually. He was finally able to breath again in his own apartment. But as the weeks passed? The quietness only fed his loneliness. And he wasn't so sure this was what he wanted his life to be anymore.
He thought this was what he wanted. He really did. Freedom was amazing. He missed that feeling of not being tied down. No one to nag at him. No one to smother him with the same kisses and same old food.
But he was wrong.
He ached for an emotional connection again but no one gave it to him. He was sick of meaningless sex. He tried to replace you but it didn’t work. He was tired of feeling lonely. He just wanted you back.
All he did was drink these days. He came to work with hangovers 24/7 and was practically a zombie, doing the bare minimum to get through the day. He could barely function too, a former shell of himself.
He just felt so empty and broken Inside.
But this was all the consequences of his own actions. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself.
[ Present Day, One week after Valentine's Day ]
“I don’t want to go to another party,” Wooyoung whined at Seonghwa. They were in front of a house that belonged to an old friend from college. This was a baby shower of sorts and the loud music was already giving him a headache. Usually he loved parties but he just didn’t feel like it these days.
“Dude, you need to get out again. What happened to the Wooyoung that was always down for a good time?” Mingi asked, leading him inside the house.
“Yeah man, come on! HongJoong’s our friend. He’s having a baby with his wife, we should be here and happy for him.” Seonghwa tried to shake some sense into him. He couldn’t just wallow in his regrets forever.
Wooyoung supposed his friends were right.
He went to congratulate Hongjoong briefly before going to the kitchen for a beer. He gulped half of it in one go then leaned against the counter, not in the mood to be social. So he just observed.
It would be a while before someone noticed his sour mood.
“You look like you just got dumped,” HongJong joked as he neared him again. He was oblivious to the fact that Wooyoung actually did just get dumped which caused the boy to tense up. When Wooyoung didn’t say anything in response or laugh like he usually would, Hongjoong nudged his arm. “What’s up with you man? I was just joking. You've changed so much since the last time I saw you. Has life been that hard?”
“You think I’ve changed?” There was a sadness in Wooyoung’s eyes. Even Hongjoong noticed this.
“Yeah. You’ve lost some weight. And you aren’t as talkative anymore. How’s life been? It’s been forever since we’ve caught up.”
Wooyoung sighed. “It’s been alright. Still stuck at the same job I had post-grad.” Wooyoung didn’t know what else to say. The last thing he wanted to do was bring up the fact that he was a jerk who cheated on his girlfriend of four years. So instead, he decided to divert the topic back to the man of the party. “Congrats on your baby girl by the way. You’d make a good father.”
Hongjoong’s smile was melancholic as he fixated lovingly at his pregnant wife who was talking to some guests. “Mina was so scared, you know? We didn’t plan to have a family so soon but it just happened. I was scared too but I had to stay strong for her. We’re still so young and I can barely take care of myself. But then I started thinking. Everything happens for a reason don’t you think? If it was meant to be then it’ll happen. And then I started to picture a mini Mina running around the house and I got so excited, thinking about how I’m going to raise and take care of her. There’s just something so special about having a baby with the person you love.”
Wooyoung grimaced. Of course he was happy for his friend, but at the same time, the way Hongjoong was talking made him feel inferior. It seemed like all of his friends had matured and made a future for themselves while he went backwards in life. Wooyoung stared into the distance as the memory of you unfolded. If only he could go back in time and knock some sense into himself. Then maybe, just maybe, he could have his happy ending too.
You were lying on his chest, fingers tracing the lines of his bare abs. “Do you think about having a family one day?”
Wooyoung sat up properly and you got off his chest. “What? Do you have baby fever again?” He couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you looked dazed post-sex, in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and your underwear. He couldn’t help but smile seeing how excited you were about having kids.
“Can you blame me? You’re so cute around my little cousins. They love you and it just made me think how fun it would be to have little Wooyoung’s running around the house.” You and him were currently in your childhood bedroom after having a barbecue party with your whole family. They all just left for the night and you and Wooyoung finally had time to yourselves.
“That sounds like a nightmare,” he joked. “They’ll make a mess of the house and be very loud. You’ll never get sleep again.”
“That’s part of the sacrifice don’t you think? The beauty of being a mother? Even if that’s the case, I wouldn’t mind. I just want to have my own kids to give a life to one day. I’d do anything for them.”
“How many kids would you like then?” He hummed.
“I want to have 5 kids, at least 2 girls and 2 boys,” you beamed, clapping your hands together, as you went on about how you’d spoiled them.
Wooyoung also loved kids but right now he was still so young and he didn’t want to think of having a family. But just knowing that you saw a future with him? That warmed his heart. “Are you sure you’ll be able to give birth that many times, babe? I heard shit is painful.”
You playfully rolled your eyes which made him smile. “Don’t underestimate me, I’m stronger than I look.”
“I know you are, but I was just being realistic.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before patting his lap. You took the hint and wrapped your legs around him before your arms went around his neck. “You know I love you right?”
“I do. And I love you too.” The look in your eyes. It was pure happiness and bliss. Pure love. And all for him.
“You alright, man?” Hongjoong asked, nudging Wooyoung once more.
Wooyoung blinked, shaking his head. “Sorry man, what’d you say?”
Hongjoong smiled softly before patting his back. “I said I’m going to go meet some guests, take care, alright?” He then walked towards the door to tend to the couple that just walked in. It was only when Hongjoong moved his head that he saw you. But you didn’t come alone.
You were next to a guy.
A very tall and good looking guy. Mingi wasn’t lying last week at the bar when he said your new boyfriend was attractive (as much as he hated to admit it).
Hongjoong gave the guy beside you a hug while Mina, his wife, took the foil tray of food from your hands.
It didn't feel real that he was seeing your face after four months of trying to contact you.
Was he dreaming again?
Wooyoung couldn't stop staring at you. You were wearing a floral dress and looked absolutely gorgeous. You looked different from the last time he saw you but in a good way. More mature and pretty. Your hair was longer and you even got a new piercing. He couldn’t help but notice how you were practically glowing too.
Was he selfish for wanting you back?
He should be happy for you but he wasn’t. Not when the guy beside you was pissing him off. The guy’s hand was at the small of your back and you two looked so good together. Wooyoung couldn’t help but size him up, feeling insecure as he observed the guy. He looked like such a ‘nice guy’, the type your parents always wanted for you. And you looked so happy.
Your new guy then placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him before saying something that made you smile wide.
When was the last time Wooyoung saw you smile wide at him like that? 4 months ago? 5 months ago?
And before Wooyoung knew it, that guy’s lips touched yours and you willingly pulled him closer.
Wooyoung clenched his fists and pressed his lips together. He knew he had no right but he just felt so jealous, anger boiling in his blood.
It had only been four months since you and him broke up. How the hell did you move on so fast?
“I didn’t know she was going to be here.” Mingi said as he approached Wooyoung. “Are you alright?”
Wooyoung swallowed thickly, his eyes still locked on the way you smiled at the guy. “Yeah. Just great.”
When you backed away from the kiss, your eyes began to scan the party and that was when you made eye contact with Wooyoung. The minute it happened, your smile faded. There was no pain in your eyes but rather an empty look, one that made Wooyoung’s heart sting. You locked eyes with him for a few seconds before you turned back to your boyfriend with stars in your eyes.
Wooyoung didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just watched as your boyfriend led you outside to the back where the pool and barbecue was.
“She’s happy now. Don’t ruin things for her,” Mingi said, looking longingly at his friend. Mingi knew how Wooyoung was. Mingi could tell just by looking in his eyes that Wooyoung wanted to go up to you but now wasn’t a good time. “Do you want to leave?”
“No.” Wooyoung replied. He finished his current beer then popped another one open.
Then he waited.
He waited until your boyfriend wasn’t next to you before approaching. This might be the last time he’ll ever see you again. He had nothing to lose but his pride. He didn't care though. He just needed to hear your voice again.
You were near the top of the stairs when he walked up to you. “Hey,” he began softly.
“Hi.” He could tell you were uncomfortable with how you didn't even want to look at him. He didn’t blame you.
“So what are you doing here? I didn’t know you knew HongJong or Mina.” Small talk. He had to start with small talk in order to not drive you away.
“I don’t know them. Yunho’s friends with Hongjong though.” Okay, so you were still talking to him. You didn’t walk away which made him feel lighter.
“So that’s his name? The guy that’s making you happy?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you love him?” He asked but you didn’t answer and a stretch of silence followed. He found himself being desperate and vulnerable which he hasn’t been in a long time. “I’ve missed you,” he selfishly mumbled. Maybe he was just delusional but he wanted to hear that you missed him too. After all, you and him were together for 4 years. It had to mean something. “How have you been?”
“I should go.” You tried to walk away but he grabbed your wrist and you yanked your hand back. “Don’t touch me.” Your voice was cold. And so were your eyes. He hated how you looked at him. You used to look at him with so much love and now you looked at him as if he was the gum on your shoe.
“I’m sorry. I just. I missed you. I still love you.” He was desperate for you to just say anything.
“If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have cheated. I have nothing to say to you, so just leave me alone. I’m here with my boyfriend for a good time with his friends, so I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I meant it that day when I said I never wanted to see you again, so let’s just pretend not to know each other for today, okay? If you truly still love me, you’ll respect my decision.” You were so much more assertive now, no longer holding back like you used to back when you and him argued. He couldn’t help but wonder. Did you hold back because of him?
He stared at your back as you walked away.
“I broke it off with her,” he said loudly. And you stopped in your tracks. For a second, he swore you were about to say something but then you just kept walking. Your body fading smaller and smaller before disappearing down the flight of stairs.
This was Wooyoung's wake up call. He had to move on. Perhaps in another life, he would’ve treated you right.
Although he was still in pain. He knew that it was nowhere near the pain he had inflicted on you. He knew better than to chase after you. It would only make you hate him more. All you ever did was love him and yet he still managed to fuck it up and hurt you. He hoped at least that Yunho guy treated you right. That he gave you all his hours. That he loved you right. That he did all the things he should’ve done when he was your man.
#ateez x reader#ateez angst#wooyoung angst#ateez fic#wooyoung x reader#ateez oneshot#wooyoung fic#kpop angst#wooyoung scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez fanfiction#kpop fluff#wooyoung oneshot#ateez fluff#wooyoung imagines#wooyoung fluff#jung wooyoung#my fic#hanni-bae44#i got carried away... this was also supposed to be like 3k lol. idk what possessed me.
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Note:- sometimes it's okay to cry in your partners arm after horrible dream
You wake up covered in sweat and look towards the clock it's 3:36 past midnight. With your sudden moment satoru wakes up from his slumber "what's wrong?" You hug him tightly he smiled and started to hug you back tightly as he placed his chin on your shoulder "everything alright?" You sigh "I had a horrible dream" He took your hands into his and held them gently, his loving, soft smile remained on his own face as the mood was suddenly now serious. He looked into your eyes, with a sweet, gentle look as he spoke, with a soft, calming voice" horrible dream?.. Would you want to share it my love?.. I'll help you calm down from it.. i promise." You stutter " su- sukuna killed you before I could reach you help you i-" you hug him more tightlyhe felt as though his heart dropped into his chest when you mentioned about Sukuna killing him, he took a deep breath and started to speak in a calm, sweet and gentle tone as he continued to hold your hands."My love.. it was just a dream.. i'm here, alive and well.. Sukuna isn't anywhere in sight.. just look around you my love, you're at home with me." You cry his name "satoru"his eyes widened as his heart felt as though it broke as soon as he heard you cry and sob his name, he hated the sound of you crying. He pulled you close to his chest and held you tight in his arms as he gently caressed your back while you sobbed into his chest."Sshh.. sshh.. don't cry.. please don't cry my love.. sshh.. sshh.."he said, repeating the words over and over as he comforted his wife. "I love you satoru"he smiled and he kissed the top of your head multiple times as he continued to hold you tight and close in his arms and held you close to his body. his heart beat softly but fast in his chest as he whispered into your ear."I know my love.. i know.. i love you just as much as you do.. it's alright my love.. i'm not going anywhere.. i'll never leave you.. i promise.." you hold him dearly he smiled as he started to feel you hold him even more dearly and lovingly than ever, his heart started to feel warm and fuzzy as he held you tightly against his chest."You don't have to hold onto me tighter.. nothing is going to take me away from you my love.. i'm not going anywhere.. don't overstress yourself.. i'm not going."he said softly and lovingly with a gentle voice, before he kissed your temple gently.
Just like that you fall asleep again in your husband's arms safely holding him like he will get lost as soon as you let go he smiled and pulled you closer into his arms when you held onto him even more. He held you close and kissed the top of your hair as he started speaking softly as he continued to stroke your hair while you slept.
"You are adorable.. i love you so much, but please, don't cry over me again my love.. if you do i will cry for you too.." ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I don't know what happened to me there...I have so much love to offer it's bursting now ughhh let me love someone
#gojo satoru#gojo hcs#gojo headcanons#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#jjk fluff#sukuna headcanons#jjk sukuna#gojo saturo#satorugojo#gojo sensei#husband gojo#gojo fluff
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Timing - JJ Maybank × fem!reader
summary: reader is dealing with losing JJ after he went missing with the rest of the Pogues (end of s2! to start of s3!), leaving her and her heart behind
warnings: angst, visions of drowning (not detailed), delusions and visions because of malnutrition and depression
word count: 1.3k
author's note: I write angsty shit when I'm depressed. it's a theme.
You're curled up in your bed, eyes burning red, nose runny, mouth slightly agape. The alarm clock on your nightstand reads 2:48am and you watch the minutes run.
Your dream has destroyed your peace. Peace as much as anyone can call your state of being such. There is nothing peaceful about the depression you have fallen into, nothing quirky about the way your body trembles at every touch, always reminded of him.
2:49am.
You know you should drink something to regain a tiny bit of strength and maybe fall back asleep, but when you drink you'll just be able to cry even more. So you don't. Maybe if you refuse to, it will end faster.
2:50am.
The branch outside your window keeps knocking against the glass. The same dull noise that his knuckles made almost every night. But you know it's not him. You know he's gone.
2:51am.
Maybe a shower would help. But you'd have to get up for that, so it's a no for the shower. No one there to jokingly say, “you're gonna shower without me, princess?”
2:52am.
If you'd look out of the window you'd see his bike, parked in the same spot where he'd left it that day. Quickly stopping by to tell you about a new lead. Telling you to not worry. Telling you to stay home because it probably meant nothing, and after all, it's too dangerous, he'd kill himself if something happened to you.
2:53am.
And your mind drifts back to sleep, exhausted from the pain and malnutrition.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you, my love,” JJ is standing in front of your house. He looks as pretty as ever. Cut off shirt, cargo shorts, boots, his favorite red cap on backwards and a sorry smile on his face. But when you jump forwards into his arms you fall and you fall and fall and fall. Drowning, really. Sinking to the bottom of the ocean. His lost treasure, truly.
Maybe that's what you had signed up for unknowingly. A life of pain because you fell in love with a boy who couldn't sit still for the life of him.
“Hey, shhh, it's okay. I'm right here,” JJ’s voice is like music to you and when you open your eyes he's holding you close in his arms.
“Is this real? Are you really here?” you ask, close to tears.
“Of course I'm here. Where else would I be but with my favorite girl,” he laughs softly and kisses your forehead, but you can't feel it.
“This is a dream,” you remind yourself and sit up.
“Does it matter? I'm here now. You have me. Isn't that enough?” JJ asks and you press your hands to your ears and cradle your body, swinging back and forth in your seat.
“Not real. Wake up. Wake up!” you tell yourself and after some time it finally works.
The alarm clock reads 4:21am.
The sun is coming up soon. You think about how real it had felt before he had kissed you. You think about how much more comfortable it had been to drown than to be alive.
4:22am.
Maybe it's the dumbest thing ever, love. It's just too painful. You could do good without love.
4:23am.
Your favorite shirt of his doesn't even smell like him anymore.
4:24am.
In ten minutes it'll be four weeks that your parents had woken you up in panic to make sure you hadn't vanished the same way your friends had.
4:25am.
Your feet carry you to your closet. Getting dressed is methodical.
4:26am.
He left his keys. “So I have no choice but to come back to you, princess.”
4:27am.
You know your parents will wake up when they hear the engine of the bike, so you decide to push it for a bit, down the road and then you can get on.
4:28am.
He didn't park in neutral. Stupid boy. Stupid stupid boy who stole your stupid stupid heart.
4:29am.
The engine is louder than you expected. You see the lights turn on inside your home, but you're already gone by the time your parents have realized what you are doing.
4:30am.
Cold air stings when it shoots right into your teary face.
4:31am.
The sun is coming up in the distance, it's beautiful. You remember doing this with JJ. Staying up all night and driving around to see the sunset and come up again.
4:32am.
You stop at a red light although no one is there. JJ had started touching your ankles on the pegs every time he had to stop.
4:33am.
The Shack is sitting lonely at the sound. The hammock’s empty, the porch lonely and the pick-up orphaned.
4:24am.
Breaking and Entering is illegal actually. Not that you care, you've done worse with JJ by your side. You need a new shirt, maybe the ones in the closet here still smell like him. You need it like a drug addict seeks the next kick.
4:25am.
One month and no life sign. You should stop hoping. Stop wishing. Stop. “JUST STOP” you scream and fall down on the bed.
4:26am.
“I'm not even doing anything,” JJ whispers from next to you.
“Leave me. I don't want to love you anymore. It hurts so much. Please,” you cry and curl up on the bed, holding onto the shirt.
“I can't. You know why,” he whispers, lying opposite of you.
“I don't want it,” you cry and screw your eyes shut.
“All you gotta do is let go,” JJ whispers.
“I don't know how to not love you,” you hush and reach out for him, but there's nothing there. You're alone.
6:34am.
Ghosts don't know how to make dishes clatter.
6:35am.
You pinch yourself before walking out of the bedroom, making sure it's not another dream.
6:36am.
It has to be a dream. Gotta be. No other explanation.
6:37am.
He hasn't turned around yet. It's a dream. It's a dream, has to be. 5.3% chance that he's real, maybe less.
6:38am.
You take the baseball bat that stands next to the bedroom door in your hand. Ghosts don't feel pain.
6:39am.
You don't know what hurts more, JJ's head or your heart.
6:40am.
“Jesus fucking Christ, who the fuck is trying to murder-” he spins around, one hand still holding onto the bat to stop it from hitting him again.
6:41am.
You can hear your head hitting the wooden floor as you go down.
11:57am.
Hospital beds are not comfortable. The lights are harsh. Your head is screaming.
11:58am.
Someone is holding your hand. Rings, familiar ones at that. You blink slowly. How is this real?
11:59am.
“My ghost keeps torturing me,” you whisper and he turns his blonde head around to you. Furrowed brows and blue eyes stare back at you.
12:00pm.
“You got ghosts? Can I get one too?” JJ smiles and you shake your head.
“You're my ghost, there's no ghost who needs ghosts.”
“Could a ghost do this?”
12:01pm.
His lips are pressed to yours and you can feel it. Hot and heavy and not a dream. Not a Dream. Not. A. Dream.
12:02pm.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave like that, and when we came back I wanted to clean up first. But you got to me quicker,” JJ whispers. “I wish I could turn back time and take you with me.”
12:03pm.
I love you's are underrated. You could hear him mumble it against your lips until you die. And when you say it back he smiles wider.
12:04pm.
Your parents yell at you for running out, but you don't care, you have your ghost. And this time, everyone else can see your ghost too. Everyone can see how much he loves you, and you him.
please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho
taglist: @ijustwantttoread @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @princessmaybank @kys4-20 @drwstarkeyy @immyowndefender @julczimozart
#jj maybank#obx#my writing#~fanfiction#~blurb#outer banks#obx fanfiction#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x you#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank angst#angst
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Transfer Him (Or Not)
A/N: For context, here is Python's introduction Ghost. And here is Python's basic info post.
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It took Ghost two days of putting up with Python before he stomped towards Price's office. He practically threw open the door, glowering at the captain for what he has had to put up with from the American medic.
"Transfer him." Ghost growled out as he stalked towards Price's desk.
Price looked up from where he writing a report. "'Him" who? Be more specific, there's all men here in this task force," he replied, amused with his own joke. He chuckled for a bit before turning serious, raising a brow at his lieutenant. "Is it Soap? I thought you liked him now."
Ghost scowled beneath his mask, crossing his arms. "I do and I was talking about that bastard American medic," he grumbled.
"Python?" Price couldn't help it, he burst out into laughter, which only made Ghost more irritated. He had his laughing fit for a whole minute before he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, his smile forming on his face. "You want me to transfer Python?"
"Yes," Ghost said gruffly, not understanding why Price found it so funny.
"No."
"What? Why not?"
Price's amusement was gone now, his hands moving around some paperwork on his desk. He waited until he was sure Ghost was seriously asking the question. "Ghost, I can't transfer Python," he explained, his words careful. "For one, I didn't transfer him to us in the first place, Laswell did, and secondly, a medic would be good for us. You and Soap barely made it out alive in Las Alamas. So he's staying, no matter how much you don't like him."
Ghost growled at that, very upset by Price's logic. "I don't trust him. The last American we trusted was Graves, and we all know how that turned out," he said.
"Do you trust me, Ghost?"
"Without question."
Price smiled at that, knowing he could always count on his lieutenant to trust him. "Then trust that I know you'll end up liking Python," he replied. "Besides, you don't even know him well enough to hate him. He's only been here for two days."
Ghost grumbled again. "I know him enough to know he's a mysterious bastard."
"Ah, so you two have that in common," Price said, his smile widening into a grin at the playful glower Ghost threw his way for that comment. He chuckled. "Just... Try to be nice, okay? You wouldn't want to piss off a medic, Ghost. Trust me."
Ghost nodded and then left the office so Price could get back to work. He decided to head to the base hospital, heading out of the building he was in and making his way over to the base hospital.
He walked inside the base hospital and made it to the office that was designated as Python's. As he walked there, Soap came out of the office with Gaz in tow, Soap having his hand bandaged.
"What happened to you?" Ghost asked, frowning at Soap's bandaged hand. He went to grab it to get a closer look but Soap pushed his hand away with his good one.
Soap gave Ghost a cheeky grin. "It's nothing, mate. A simple second-degree burned from a cooking accident," he told Ghost nonchalantly. "I just went in to see the doc to get it bandaged."
Gaz interjected, rolling his eyes. "I brought him to Python," he explained his presence there. "Soap wasn't even going to treat it and I had to drag him to Python's office."
"You're such a tattletale, Gaz," Soap complained, his voice almost a whine. He then turned to Ghost, a curious glint in his eyes. "Why are you on your way to Python? Injured, aye?"
Ghost playfully pushed at Soap's chest. "My business is my business," he said, warning Soap not to push for details.
Soap merely smiled, used to Ghost's evasiveness. "You and Python are similar in that respect. A pair of men who want to remain as mysterious as possible."
Ghost rolled his eyes and bid goodbye to Gaz and Soap, Gaz playfully dragging Soap back to the barracks. He watched them leave before walking up the office door, knocking, and entering.
"You injured?" Python asked as soon as Ghost stepped in, lifting his head up from where he was putting away the bandages and gauze back into the drawer of his desk. "And on a scale from one to ten, how bad is it?"
"You know, most medics are less harsh when it comes to asking how bad an injury is." Ghost couldn't help but have a little bite in his voice, feeling annoyed whenever Python was in his vicinity.
Ever since he met the man, Ghost had this need, this itch, and he could only assume it was because they were so similar that Ghost hated it with a passion. And yet, Ghost found himself wanting to be closer.
He pushed down that sudden urge, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. "Anyways, I'm not here because I'm injured," he said, eyeing the taller man.
Python finished putting away the bandages and gauze back in the drawer of his desk, closing the drawer before giving Ghost his full attention. He still had on that damned mask and balaclava that made Ghost all that aware of how similar they were. "Okay, why are you here then?" he asked, moving around his desk to sit on the edge of the surface of said desk.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm... I'm going to try to get along with you," Ghost blurted out awkwardly, at a loss for words. He was never a talker anyways.
"Okay," Python said after a minute of waiting for Ghost to say more.
"Okay? That's all you have to say?"
And there Ghost was, getting irritated with Python all over again. It was like there was an inferno in his chest, an emotion he couldn't describe but was so intense that it made him so irritable to the way Python was so cagey.
"Bloody hell," Ghost exclaimed, unable to help the rush of emotions. He threw his arms up in the air in a "I give up" gesture and turned away from the infuriating man. "It's like talking to a wall! Fine, keep yourself locked away, see if I care."
With those words, he stomped out of the office, slamming the door shut. Despite his irritation, Ghost's lips couldn't help but twitch into a small smile when he heard Python curse at the door being slammed shut.
So the medic does express some emotion, Ghost thought to himself. Interesting.
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A/N: This was longer than I thought it would be. But have this, Ghost not understanding what emotion he's feeling. He doesn't like his questions being brushed off by Python, but he doesn't understand that he too does that to others. But also, what was Python supposed to say in response, Ghost, huh? I still love Ghost, it's fine.
Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and request something! (Check the rules in "Rules for Requesting NSFW" before requesting.)
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost#ghost riley#ghost cod#task force 141 oc#call of duty oc#cod oc#task force 141 oc: python#call of duty oc: python#cod oc: python#simon ghost riley x male oc#simon riley x male oc#simon ghost x male oc#ghost riley x male oc#ghost x male oc#python x simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x python#python x ghost#ghost x python#call of duty#cod modern warefare 2#cod mwii#cod mw2#cod#price really laughed in ghost's face at his demand to transfer python#:)
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random nct members as horror movie antagonists
THEME : HORROR , DARK CONTENT AHEAD
CW : jeno's and haechan's are a bit graphic so don't read if easily uncomfortable, death, kidnapping, cursing, some have an altered storyline so it doesn't follow the movie's plot, torture (???)
note : its 5am and i can't sleep, let's see if i regret writing this in a few hours
yuta - jigsaw. in my eyes yuta seems like the type of person that enjoys playing games with people, whether the prize is staying alive. so when he and his apprentice mark lee, kidnaps you and your friends during a getaway trip you're scared shitless. one by one your friends die off, leaving you as the sole survivor for the final game. something to take into consideration is that yuta does not play fair. meaning? when he sees that you're about to successfully pass your test and escape, he rigs it so that instead, you're left bleeding out. when mark steps in to drag away your friends' bodies to god knows where, yuta trails behind him. he stays with you until you take your final breath, only whispering 'game over' once he makes sure it's the last thing you hear.
jisung - pelle from midsommar. jisung has had his eye on you for a while, but your boyfriend (whose name he didn't even bother to remember) swept you off your feet first. he watched as the love between you both die out, and when he suggested that you, your boyfriend, and his friends go to a nine-day festival at his ancestral commune it just became worse. from bad trips to watching people commit suicide, it was not a fruitful endeavor. one by one, the people you came on the trip with began disappearing, only scaring you further. you're numb by the end of it all, and have no more tears to give for your boyfriend as he becomes the last person to 'disappear'. you're left with jisung and his people, and you begin to question why he's left standing. but you don't care. after everything you've seen, you just don't care.
xiaojun - ghostface. what you think when people ask about your boyfriend is that he's too good to be true, and he is! he's close with everyone in the friend group, especially yangyang... odd. but you don't look into it that much, seeing as how you're still recovering from the death of your mother. weirdly enough, one of your classmates dies, and your boyfriend starts to act suspicious. you can't even trust him after seeing him climb into your room with a whole murder weapon. your friend insists on a party, and it doesn't look like you have a choice. you see everyone but your friend in the room, but she slipped your mind once you saw your boyfriend. now everyone is gone, and your boyfriend looks badly injured. but... you don't see any wounds or anything like that. you only notice you got yourself into trouble once your boyfriend looked up at you, eyes innocently wide but with a sinister smile on his face. where's yangyang...
jeno - terrifier. why the fuck is some guy dressed in a clown costume across the neighbor's house just standing there? you try calling her but to no avail. you can't help but commit to the bystander effect as you watch him follow your neighbor into her room and stab her back repeatedly, you could've sworn you saw her spine. the phone is in your fucking hand, call 911! you watch as he leaves and reenters with a cup of salt, spreading it all over her wounds as you hear whatever vocal chords in her cut open throat allowed her to scream. you watch as he props her up on the bed every part of her body lacerated, and only then he notices you staring. he heaves a smile before exiting the room, and when you look down you see him sprinting towards your house. why didn't you call the police?
haechan - freddy krueger. you can't sleep, or else he'll get you. he's gotten all of your friends already, you've even considered checking into a mental hospital just so they can call you crazy and tell you that whatever you're dreaming of is just in your mind. people wake up with gashes and bruises all the time after they wake up. people have this overwhelming fear of being killed by the boogeyman all the time! you can't close your eyes, even if the hallucinations are getting to you. your friend, chenle, notices your terrible state and slips some sleeping pills in your drink. he just wanted to be a good friend. only then you notice it when your eyes are closing, and you hear that beautiful singing voice in your dream. the realization that you're a goner hits you once his claws are deep into your chest, as you could hear your heartbeat from behind you, in his hand.
extra: johnny/taeyong/ten - the strangers. they're stalking the house of you and your now ex boyfriend, knocking on the fucking door and then leaving. once they're out of you guys' view, your boyfriend makes a run for it to the car to drive out for help as you watch from the window. only then do you see one of them in the back of the car along with a knife to his neck, then you hear footsteps behind you. they had access to get in all along; they just enjoy playing with their prey before attacking.
#fixingoff writes#lee donghyuck#nct dream#nct 127#lee haechan#nct mark#nct yuta#nct yangyang#nct xiaojun#nct johnny#jeong jaehyun#nct ten#nct jeno#nct jisung#nct u#nct#mark lee#jung jaehyun
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Sakuverse what ifs pt 1: Dontis edition
What IF Dontis makes it out alive in the end and hunter comes visit him? And if Hunter hadn't need to intervene in the war.
(For us Dontis simpies on copium 🥹)
Imagine this:
Hunter comes rushing to Dontis' place after hearing from their hunter comrades that war is over. Hunter eagerly waits for Dontis outside his door, praying in high hopes he would answer. After a few moments or so, somebody eventually opens the door; revealing a tall well dressed man with beautifully long dark brown hair and two long horns.
He then proceeds to greet you with a smile curved on his face, "ah, look what we have here. The hunter of the hour! Didn't expect you to come this early". You couldn't believe your eyes! He's alive! Your eyes began to grow teary at the sight of his existence. You dearly missed him. So much that you could just break down and sob right now. Parting your lips, you asked worriedly, "you're alive?! Are you okay? Were you severely injured?? Did they hurt you??". Dontis laughs at your response, " haha, I'm fine! Just a few scratches here and there, nothing too special.". You sigh in relief, "that's good... Could've sworn to their lives if they hurt you in any way, I would have gone to seek them.". He looks at you in shock but laughs once more, "you missed me that much, didn't you?". You sighed, nodding your head in agreement. Followed by a soft chuckle, he gestures you inside his penthouse; closing the door behind you.
You both walked and sat in the living room as Dontis discussed what happened in the war. You were just happy and in relief that Dontis is still alive and well. He asks you, "But you don't need to worry about all of that. Let's talk about you. What have you been doing when I was away?". You looked down and pondered for a moment. Other than doing you daily duties, you spent most of the times longing and missing Dontis. Laying in such a solace bed, yet the thought of his whereabouts kept you up at night. You were stressed the hell out about him. "Well, not much? Also nothing special?". He responds back, "didn't think of me?". You look at him with weary eyes, wanting him to get the message that you did indeed miss him. " haha! I'm teasing! I'm sure you had other important duties to attend to".
You really didn't have anything to do, except worry about the fact that Dontis was in a life or death situation. Hiding your sadness, you smiled and joked "I'll be honest, I did miss you. A lot, in that matter. I couldn't even sleep.". Dontis' eyes fill with worry as he moves close to you, "couldn't... Sleep?". He puts his arm around your shoulder as you sigh in response, "safe to say, yeah. I kept glancing at my phone every minute to see if you sent a message or just any form of contact from you. I kept thinking about the worst what ifs and how horribly the outcome would be. I...", you stopped yourself and held your words back. You didn't want to over dump your worries on Dontis, especially after a dangerous situation between his kind and the Trimidian
Dontis tilts his head, gazing at you with concern, "lend me your worries, dear. You don't need to hide your scars from me anymore.". That was it. Just by his comforting words, was the cherry on top to your dessert of sorrows. As he caresses your cheek, you let a few tears roll down from your tired eyes. "That's right, just let it all go.", he says in a gentle tone. You couldn't help but bury your face into his chest, letting your sadness consume your being. He then brings you close against him, embracing you into his strong arms as he runs his fingers through your hair.
Knowing that those nights of endless worries, and the longing of being in one's arms are over... You felt at peace once more.
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I hope you guys enjoy this small piece. Writings like this, will be raw with no grammar checks lol. Mainly a thought writing. I was lowkey thinking of writing this piece into a whole 'Dontis comforts you to sleep' fic, but I wanna know what y'all think? 🤔
- love y'all Crumpets
Azulaoi 💙
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One of the things that the drama did was reveal an incredibly important part of hyyh vmon's dynamic that has always been there but I just didn't get before.
We know that Tae looks up to Joon as an older brother figure that he can rely on, and that Joon takes this responsibility very seriously despite being so young himself. What used to confuse me before was that Tae's safety was his responsibility, but Joon never stopped him from doing those illegal activities. In fact, he would join him.
In every one of the hyyh pairings, there's a give and take.
Jihope is made of two liars and one is in the hospital room pretending to be well and the other is there pretending to be sick but among the white walls and hallucinations and fainting and pills they give each other something solid to hold on to, a tether to reality.
Yoonkook is a cycle of addictive self-destruction born from the co-dependency of someone who latches on too obsessively and needs hurt to feel alive, and someone who cries guilt but can't help but hold on to the one person he can hurt again and again but won't disappear no matter how hard he tries.
So what did Joon get from vmon? What was the take part of this give heavy dynamic? I honestly can't believe I didn't see it before.
"Do you know what I hate most about myself? I get used to things, whatever that is. I give up and don't even fight on- no... I don't even want to fight."
Joon who is only 16 but is the breadwinner of his family, who works and works and works to support all the people who rely on him, whose worth is determined by his reliability and even temper and maturity in every situation. The first to forgive, the hardest to anger, doesn't even complain when he locks away the box that contains all his potential and dreams for people who suck him dry and give nothing back.
"I see you pouring out your anger and I get vicarious pleasure. After that, I grill you not to do that and even rationalise to myself that I'm right. That's who I am. I'm a despicable coward - so who am I to console others!? How could I understand other people!?"
I forget sometimes that Tae is older than Jungkook when he represents the clinging to youth aspect so well. He's loud, he's brash and angry and kind and rough and empathetic and raw around the edges in all the ways a child is allowed to be. Joon doesn't get that, he's not allowed that. So he lives through Tae, lets him pour out all the emotion and the thoughts he doesn't let himself say.
That scene at the container after it was set on fire breaks me because it represents this so well. He was almost murdered and he stands there silently while Tae yells at Jin all the things he doesn't let himself feel enough to say. It's like Tae is talking for him in that moment, straight from his heart, and that's what he gets from it. That night only one of them watched his home go up in flames at the hands of people he holds not an ounce of power to, knowing that they expected him to burn along with it. There are three people there in the aftermath and it is only him that doesn't cry. That just smiles and thanks Jin for the warning and tells them to go to bed.
I want to scream. How did Dogeun end up being the character I felt the most physical hurt for. How is his apparent normalcy the most tragic thing in a show littered with suicide and murder and mental illness. Agh.
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homebrew necromany
[in the afterlife, it is a barren grassland with only a few rocks poking above the grass, there is a mountain range in the far distance but they do not seem as if they wish to be reached]
bue: (kicking a rock) boo, this is boring I thought there'd be more fire and brimstone. what a cop out
[there is no reply, no voice answer back and even the wind doesn't blow]
bue: (sigh) well, there's no point in staying in one place... hmm, those mountains are pretty, might as well check them out. (begins to walk towards them)
[the landscape changes rapidly, the grassland becomes a valley, flat ground shifts into steep slops that are populated with thistle and tough grass that pricks at bue's ankles]
bue: (flailing) woa- whoa! almost fell there... (looks down) oh? what's this?
[bue crouches down to pick up a tattered poster, she takes the torn edges between her fingers and is immediately drawn to the face of her twin printed next to her own]
bue: (muttering) wanted... dead or alive... bounty of 1.3 million galactic credits.... what?
[bue flips the paper around several times, trying to find anything else. faintly a shimmer of text of another universe inscribed on the back glints in the overcast light. it is nothing like bue had ever seen before, but they could understand it nonetheless]
bue: (confused) "I'm sorry, I tried, I swear. I tried to stop us I really did. - R"... who's R?
bue: (worried) what does it mean..?
[with a concerned face, bue folds the tattered poster into quarters and tucks it into their pocket. hesitant, she continues into the basin of the valley]
bue: (quietly) it's like the lake district... I suppose dying isn't that bad if these are the views you get... still those mountains...
[the snow caps of the mountains are distantly visible from over the other side of the valley, the distance has not changed and it is still far]
bue: (downcast, eyes facing down at her feet as she walks through the brush) I hope girlfriend fc is okay, we were in quite the predicament from what I last gathered... oh @riririnnnn, @hooudie212, @someprettyname I miss you already, it's so scary to be so far from you...
[bue finally reaches the stream that bisects the bottom of the valley, it's weird to think such a little stream once cut through the valley's rock, but bue supposes time can change anything]
bue: uh, do I just wade? what if it's like the Styx or something... I don't wanna be caught lacking, what would the people on instagram reels say? (shivers)
bue: I don't think I have a choice...
[with a squeak, bue wades into the stream. its gentle current laps at her ankles and seeps through her cleats and she shivers at the feeling]
bue: (looking down) huh?
[the pebbles at the bottom of the stream start to transform, ordinary little rocks expanding in ways that violate reality to become half recognisable mementos]
bue: oh....
[a journal is flicked open by the current and it washes away the writing on every page, a yellow rose, a phone, a futuristic looking gun, and odd shapes bue could tell represented something all warped themselves into the stream bed, pinned down by rocks no matter how easily they could be swept off by the current]
???: (kindly) so you chose to move forward? I'm glad.
bue: (incredibly shocked) JINGO RAICHI???
[raichi is dressed in peculiar ways, draped in cloth that bent reality itself with an uncharacteristically calm smile on his face]
raichi: yes, I suppose you know me by that
bue: what are you doing here?
raichi: helping you, obviously?
bue: ..."helping"?
raichi: you asked for it, no?
[bue stares at him in disbelief, what in the world is happening??]
raichi: the river, you stepped in it.
bue: there was no other way across?
raichi: you wanted to find a way forward and that is enough for me.
bue: (worried) 'kay...
raichi: have a seat (snaps his fingers)
[a rock pops into existence behind bue, pressing on the back of her knees in such a way it makes her sit down, across from her raichi takes a seat on a rock of his own]
raichi: to move forward you need to let go of what is old, you see those things in the river, yes?
bue: ...mhm...
raichi: you remember what they mean, right? so tell me
bue: well that journal was from the worst time ever, it was a very dark time-
raichi: (hums and nods)
bue: that rose, I hurt someone... the phone was so much and... I don't know what the gun means, sorry...
raichi: baby steps. you need to let them wash away
bue: what?
raichi: wash them away, let go
bue: I'm not holding them?
raichi: spiritually, you dumbass!
[bue flinches at the sudden yelling, but that was much more raichi-like. he pinches his nose in frustration but with a harsh sigh he seems to calm down]
bue: (hesitantly) well, um, I grew from the journal I...
raichi: go on
bue: well, I'm different now, I used to be so miserable... not just my feelings, I was a total downer and I only saw the worst in everything... sometimes I think I still do...
raichi: but do you want to?
bue: no! of course not!
raichi: then put your faith in the best, it's as easy as you make it
[bue sits in silence for a moment, thinking about it. it hits her eventually, it might be hard at some points but being more positive was as easy as catching bad thoughts and replacing them, she really could just do that]
[the journal flips to the last page and disintegrates in the water, carried away by the current, bue looks at raichi with surprise]
raichi: easy, right? now the rose.
bue: I hurt someone, I'm sorry for it
raichi: okay and?
bue: huh?
raichi: yeah you hurt someone but your inaction keeps you from moving on
bue: oh... I can't... really talk to her anymore. I know I was wrong and I don't ever want to do that again but I don't know what to do
raichi: I'm not going to absolve you of guilt. but if you can't do anything except change, why are you still letting it take up that much space?
[bue's breath hitches, she looks at the rose and thinks of all the good that came from it, promises to be better, wishes "her" the best and watches as the flower is delicately torn apart and carried off by the current]
raichi: the phone?
bue: same as the journal, really
[the phone disintergrates]
bue: what about the rest?
raichi: do you have the determination to keep going? to live despite it all? to live with love in the centre of your heart?
[they fall into silence as bue tries to unravel whatever riddle raichi wove]
bue: yes?
raichi: do you really?
bue: (brows furrowed) yes.
[every amorphous rock, stone and pebble drifts away and leaves only the gun behind]
bue: (pointing) what about that?
raichi: remember how you were twins with @riririnnnn in a past life? that is the link between that life and this one. you almost destroyed the universe together, can you come to terms with this?
bue: yes
raichi: you'll do your best to control yourself and become the best you can be?
bue: yes
raichi: (nodding at other side of stream) then cross
[cautiously, bue walks over to the far bank, only stopping to look back at raichi only to find he was no longer there and neither were the rocks they sat on. bue makes a note to get raichi something nice when she gets back]
bue: (happily) oh!
[bue crouches again to pick up girlfriend fc jersey, instinctively she pulls it on]
[the memory of her first time at gf fc replays in her head as the shirt goes over her face. a sunlit room and a sense of belonging were all the remained when the shirt collar settled against her collarbone]
[with determination, bue began to walk up the steep side of the valley, set on making it to the mountains]
bue: (exhaustedly) phew, what a climb!
[bue looks back on their climb, she hadn't felt like she'd travelled far but when she peered down the stream seemed a million miles behind her]
bue: (to herself) to the top...
[bue continue to climb the slope, dragging herself all the way to the top where she could see the mountains that had gotten closer. so close in fact that bue could reach out and touch them]
bue: (touching the mountain) whoa... cool...
[snow fell onto her wrist as she brushed the frost covered grass close to where uncovered rock met the snow cap]
bue: (earnestly) I'm not done yet, I have a lot to live for and I will continue to live in the best way I can. I will be ambitious and loving, I promise.
[bue grips the tuft of snow covered grass and shakes it firmly.]
[her vision goes pitch black and the cold feeling of snow creeps up her arm and stretches all over her body and she shivers. it felt cramped like she's been shoved in a box and there was something stuck to her forehead uncomfortably]
bue: cold!!
[struggling, bue reaches to peel off the sticky thing on her forehead but in the cold box there is no light to see what it was. blindly she gropes around, pushing in every side until one side gives out. light blinds her as she tumbles out of the freezer and on to the girlfriend fc headquarters kitchen]
bue: (happily) I LIVE!!!!
[she skitters out of the room to assess the situation and hopefully find her family]
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Jackie’s Twin sister x Shauna
Click to help Palestine 🇵🇸 🍉
AN: hiiiii I’m back. I’m so glad I was able to finish this 2 months after it was requested 😅😅. I’ll be working on all the others after I promise. This was a request but I responded to it here . It was basically Shauna and Jackie’s little sister. I decided just to make them twins because I can 😝.
summary: Shauna and you have been sneaking off behind your sisters back for a while now but how will it work when your stranded in the woods.
word count rounded: 1.5k
You knew it was a bad idea to sneak off like this with your sister's best friend. But you couldn’t stop; you and Shauna had been a “thing” before nationals. The first time was when Jackie was sick, so you and Shauna went to see Scream by yourselves. Sure, you and Shauna were friends, but she and Jackie were best friends. You were only really around her because you and Jackie shared a bedroom as kids. So whenever Shauna was over, you also hung out with them.
So it was just you and Shauna in the back corner of the movie theater. It was a bit awkward without Jackie, but it was still a good time. You never really loved horror movies, but you made an exception for this one. The theater was pretty full, but the back corner was mostly empty. You were a little antsy and nervous going into the movie, but you didn’t want to show it in front of Shauna. You jumped a bit and instinctively reached out to grab onto something, which happened to be Shauna's hand. You jump in surprise as you realize that it's her hand. You quickly pull your hand away. “Sorry I-” You panic, rubbing the back of your neck.
“No, no, it's ok.” Shauna assures cutting you off. You turn your head to catch her gaze as she smiles softly and holds out her hand, looking just as nervous as you. You take her hand in yours as you intertwine your fingers with hers.You relax as she gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You both continue to watch the movie, but now every time you get scared, you squeeze Shauna's hand. For the rest of the movie, you hold Shauna’s hand, and you can feel your cheeks heat up every time you feel her thumb rub the top of your hand.
After that movie, you couldn’t look at Shauna the same way. Anytime you saw her, you knew you were in too deep. You and Shauna never established a relationship or even talked about it, but you snuck off more times than you could count to make out together. It mostly ended with an awkward walk back to Jackie. This continued even after the crash. You, of course, didn’t mind; with the stress of the situation, it was a blessing when Shauna would drag you away to make out. You found a secret little circle of trees to be out of any prying eyes.
Today was just like the others. You finished your chores early and had nothing to do. You walked over to where Shauna was draining the deer that Nat and Travis had just shot. You walk over to her, scrunching your nose up a bit at the sight. “Ewwww, that smells awful. How can you stand the smell?” You ask, holding your nose and turning your face away from the bloody deer. “Poor thing”.
“It's not that bad, and do you actually feel bad? He's our dinner tonight." Shauna states as she puts down the knife. "Well, kinda, what if he had a deer wife or husband and some deer kids?” You stay, taking a step away from the deer, as Shauna follows. “They will be fine; it's just how the food chain works. And we need to eat to stay alive." "Fine, I guess; I don't really want to starve; I just don’t have the stomach for this.” Shauna walks over to you and smiles softly.”Well, that's why I'm doing it, not you.”
“Yeah, yeah." You sigh, looking at Shauna, before looking down at her hand, grabbing it, and pulling her closer. Shauna’s eyes widen just the slightest, but she doesn’t pull away. As she gets pulled closer, she plants her hands on your hips. “You know...” you trail off, a playful smile spreading on your face as your arms find their way around her neck. “You could take a little break. I could keep you company.” You say this as you smile fully at her and giggle as she raises her eyebrow. She glances around and grabs you by the hand before tugging you deeper into the forest toward your usual makeout spot.
Shauna stops as you both make it to the tree line. The soft breeze of the warm summer day rattles the branches. You can faintly hear the swish of the river a calm woosh. You turn to look at her and then at her lips as you take a step toward her. She takes a few steps back, almost tripping over a root, but ends up with her back against the nearby tree. The rough bark scratches against her overworn flannel, but she is far too distracted to notice. You lean closer to her and pull her into a kiss. She kisses you back as her hands find their way around your waist. She pulls you into her, chest to chest, as you continue to make out. Her hands find their way up to your neck as her arms drape over your shoulders.
You both pull away for a breather, and Shauna pushes herself off the tree and spins you so that you switch places. She presses you back against the rough bark, and it scrapes the back of your shirt, likely staining it. Before you can worry too much about it, she leans forward, pulling you back into a kiss. Her hands find their way under your shirt near your hips, her fingers digging in to hold you in place. You hum into the kiss as Shauna's fingers massage your lower back in a continuous circular motion. She pulls away again, and you sigh, but she quickly leans forward again, but this time she misses your lips entirely and begins to kiss your neck. You rest your head against the tree as she kisses you from the base of your neck all the way up to your jawline.
SNAP!
A twig crunches under someone's foot as both of you jump. Shauna's arms slide down to your waist, ready to run if it's something you both can’t handle. But it turned out to be even worse than a bear. It was Jackie. You both go silent, eyes wide as you freeze, almost as if you don’t move, then maybe she won't see you. Jackie's face switches between confusion, shock, and amusement in under 5 seconds. “Wowza Shipman, your “too busy cutting up that deer to go for a walk. But it turns out you’re sucking on my sister's neck.” Jackie smirks, looking you up and down. You go to speak, but nothing seems to come out. Shauna untangles her arms from your neck as she steps away from you. Jackie raises her eyebrow. “ What? Were you even going to tell me that you're making out with my best friend behind my back? She turns to you, looking stern, and it makes you feel guilty.
"Well, it's not like we're dating Jax just... You know, having fun, I guess?” You're avoiding your sister's eyes as you rub the back of your neck sheepishly. “I’d say,” she teases. "Well, I'm not mad, I guess; I just wish you didn’t lie to me.”
“Like I get you keeping it a secret, you're my sister.”She says this while pointing at you before narrowing her eyes at Shauna. “But Shauna? Really, at least tell me if your lips are going to be on my sister.”
"Oook, Jax, that's enough.” You say, shoving her shoulder. She giggles and pulls you into a hug, squeezing you. “They grow up so fast.” She says she is wiping away a fake tear. "Oh, shut up; I'm only 3 minutes younger.” You say pushing her face away. “You’re still my baby sibling.” She says smiling and pulling you into a hug before she lets go and turns her attention to Shauna. “I'm happy for you, Shaunie, but if you ever hurt my sister, I will make you regret it. You better treat them right.” Jackie says this as she lets you go and walks over to Shauna. Shauna's eyes widened a little. She has never seen this version of Jackie, and she won’t admit it, but it truly scares her.
“I promise.” Shauna says she is afraid to oppose her best friend. “And well, I was wondering if all this sneaking around isn't really helping either of us; do you want to be my girlfriend for real?” Shauna asks, looking nervously at you, hoping that it's something you want as well. A smile grows on your face as you nod rapidly. “Yes, I'd love that,” you exclaim, pulling her into a hug.
“Great, now I'm going to be third-wheeling during sleepovers.” Jackie jokes, nudging you with her arm as the three of you make your way back to the cabin, you and Shauna hand in hand.
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Sirius XM | 2017
#where can i get one#or two#Utah get me two#Andrew Lincoln#*#andygifs#i got an anon who called this look 'surfer santa' i always think about that when i gif this 😂#and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow#EYE CRINKLES 💕💞#if you don't smile back are you even alive#*david attenborough voice* THE SUN#excuse me but The Nose™#his N E C K#oh...there's bram stoker knocking again#i love arm#the most beautiful big ol forehead#(◡‿◡✿) all the kisses
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The Matrix Resurrections: Featurettes
#mom said it's my turn on the old man#Keanu Reeves#kreevesedit#keanuedit#*#dude's got limbs like one of those wacky waving inflatable tube men#that's a long boi#pls just let me hold one (1) of those catchers mitts you call hands#me 5'4": i will pick him up#im a vegetarian but my kfc order's gonna be 2 thighs#no one: keanu: 🤘#why is he eternally boyfriend shaped#i really need to rest#i need him in a way that's concerning to feminism#EYE CRINKLES#THEY ARE A SOURCE OF LIFE#i love arm#that's a smiley boy#are you even alive if it doesn't want to make you smile back i don't think so#i will give you 43 cents and a cookie if you let me play with your hair#but im open to negotiate payment#a man's collarbone can turn me into a victorian gentleman who just got a glimpse of an ankle#keke pls
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the major arcana, shuffled: 5/??
THE TOWER;
⤉ disaster, destruction, upheaval, trauma
⤈ resisting change, avoiding tragedy, delaying the inevitable, avoiding loss
#mypost.#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv oc#🏵️#ffxiv:tma#back at it again with the cursed family paintings!!#i was stumped on how to make this look like a tower ngl. i think i did good but i feel like these needed more post-process editing. w/e#if you see clipping no you don't ssshhhhhh-#yea i know cassie's husband isn't here but this isn't about him. this is about the tatlonghari's collective family trauma!!!#only ones missing are paris and andi. paris doesn't consider themselves fully apart of the family and andi missed a lot of the upheaval#wanted to showcase the entirety of the family and how priam has been the direct cause of all their problems#the symbolism here is that the left showcases the ones who are alive. the right are those who were killed by priam#notice how on the left they're not touching each other despite being so close to one another#they're not smiling either. they're extremely distant even within close proximity#whereas the right they're holding onto each other and smiling (rather creepily but you know)#i made a corrupted version but i think it's important to see their happy faces more clearly. notice how they kinda look demonic#and yea priam's face is scribbled out but you can see that his face was beat in#and pammon (priam's twin) and andromache (who priam thought was dead for years) are choking him#the reverse got flipped wrong when you look at it rightside up but it adds to the creepiness i think#body horror cw#gore cw#<- just in case
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Song of the Day: February 17
“DYWTYLM” by Sleep Token
#song of the day#Sleep Token really saving my sanity as we navigate this dark and uncertain time without an upgraded sibling singalong playlist#had to go out into the snow on under two hours' sleep to get groceries#(the farmers' market gave me kefir cheese so any amount of suffering would've been worthwhile but I couldn't know that at the time)#and getting into Nick's car knowing there was music I could request that he could play loud as he wanted and I wouldn't want to cry#I mean blessing isn't even a strong enough term. baking a cake for the Sleep Token guy (his name is Vessel) as we speak#anyway this song sounds incredible in the original and then so odd sung acapella. like singing a bass line just a couple beats repeating#polar opposite of my lady indie covers. a song rendered fully unrecognizable when I wander the house mumbling it to myself#the verses do alright I suppose but the chorus is out of the question. the lyrics are so strong too real gut-punch lines#'and my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should / and I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could#and there is something eating me alive I don't know what it is / maybe not that you conceal your feelings they just don't exist'#the whole song is like that it is so so so good. every new Sleep Token song I hear I'm like oh of course yes I see why these are fic titles#(Sleep Token catching up to Fall Out Boy and Hozier in terms of lines I've seen as fic titles. I mean we are really getting up there#and I am definitely not immune. if/when I put up those fanmixes y'all are gonna be seeing some Sleep Token let me tell you)#edit: it stands for 'Do You Wish That You Loved Me' I just realized I never said#didn't even pick lyrics that include it which is nuts when you realize that every verse does twice. whoops
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literally what's the point
#''you have to understand. with the kitchen being how it is...'' im not the one with week old dishes#or a legion of fishing casters (idk how to call the spinny thing with the thread) with a decade of salt in them#in the sink. or a house 22 years in renovation bc you keep milkmaiding yourself out of any progress#by the way could you stop ignoring me each week when i tell you i don't like the things you show me#and could you not be a fucking prick making me put on the music you like and then complaining that it's a bad version#like genuinely what is your angle there#things that would also be nice! if you trim the yard a bit like i asked you all pretty please like#so i don't carry fleas all the way back home. again. smiles#ooh speaking of which! remember how you didn't believe me the first time we had an infestation#even though the cats and i were getting eaten alive#until you got bit once? of course you don't. why would you!#and on that topic! how are the yard cats doing. huh? still sick and dying because you refuse to take any actual responsibility? hm hm i see#im not gonna say that i'll laugh and cackle and gloat when they finally sue your ass over the literal shit smell of the house#because saying such a thing is not polite :)
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