It's impossible to say how many roses he bought me. Roses spilled onto the ground as I went. If I've ever been pretty, it was on that early Paris morning with roses overflowing from my full-to-the-brim arms.

Clarice Lispector, Too Much of Life: The Complete Crônicas (January 6, 1968)

directy directory ramble incoming

I wanted to type out my thoughts on the role of director and how its viewed. Especially coming from a perspective of seeing the streaming bubble pop and just..intense scope creep..and yeah , anyway. No reason specifically just my surface level musings that i always have. Its been 5+ years since I went from an animation supervisor to an animation director, to being able to do my own episodes. It wasnt something I wanted in the sense of a title, but I just like taking whatever the next step or challenge is. I've always been team oriented too, so that will always be in the back of my mind when being in a position with more power. The level of power you have as a director is not something I was expecting to have,so I try not to take it for granted.

Over time I really found that there are two viewpoints of what the job and the expectations of the director are. People have asked me for advice on the job and Its through these conversations that I really see the split opinion. The strongest camp is the one that represents the word least to me, and thats the people who think that the director is 'in charge' in the sense of always doing what they say. There are good and bad of course, but the directors job is to make the hard choices and to push boundaries and to enact a VISION (be it their own, a clients, ect). Their expectation soley revolves around the creation of the creative product. The other camp is the one that sees the Director as a leader first and foremost, who has a responsibility to their team as well as the product, and that leadership and team management skills should be on the roster as well as creative prowess. one thinks its about creative vision first and minimal people skills, and the other thinks it should be 50/50 at the very least. I'm in the second camp, and I have so many people that go 'YES, THAT IS WHAT A DIRECTOR SHOULD DO!' and as much as I agree, I also have to point out that is often not the actual reflected expectations that Directors get - expectations play a big role after all. When you enter a job or grow in a job you should know what your new responsibilities are, and if not you are left to fill in your own gaps. Studios in GENERAL are terrible with clear boundaries and job expectations, so its really no surprise that the stronger creative voices become the loudest in the room. Even the most well meaning people can get into an impossible mindset because no one has told them otherwise...we all know passion and creativity can take us places after all. Sometimes, one is thrust into a position of power without even knowing just how much their choices may impact the team. There are some notorious asshole directors of course but for the most part I've found that creatives in the director realm are well meaning. However, that doesnt change the reality that as well-meaning as you are, there is an entire team of people who can be effected by your mindest, choices and problem sovling for good or bad.

I've talked about this before, but a mindset can vastly change how you problem solve something. A director with no leadership skills may see work that does not meet their expectations and their first thought was that the artist did not do their job properly. A director with leadership skills may see work that does not meet their expectations and understand there are many factors. Heres a few questions I ask myself.

did that person receive proper expectations for the task ?

was there a communication mishap ? ( this happens ALL THE TIME. its ART !_! the amount of times i've written a note that i thought was super clear and someone takes it in a way that..i didnt expect but it also made sense ? SOMETIMES IT DO BE THAT WAY. WE WORK ON OUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS TOGETHER)

did they have enough time to do it ? or feel rushed?

is everything ok ? Everyone has bad times and blips in the production so its reasonable that sometimes things come in not 100%

if it is a hard skill issue, is it a one off or is it ongoing? how are we helping them work on it? The answers to these questions are FAR more valuable in actually getting your vision done to the best of your time and energy then just simply thinking someone doesnt have the skills or needs to learn more. ALL OF THIS TO SAY. That even just having good faith and a connection to your team as a director is incredibly valuable for your information gathering and problem solving, (you learn way more about your pipeline and where the real issues are.) but is vastly underrepresented as an expectation of the job. SO. IF YOU WANT TO DIRECT. you may not get told that your team is part of your responsibility, but if we want a sustainable and healthy industry we have to divide our passion for the project into our team as well as the creative end game. Take some leadership classes, learn about different communication types, or at least have people around you who can do that. You dont need to be everyones bestie, but you do have a responsibility for their experience on the project. ill post some tips and such about working with people later cuz this is long enough

Rory's first session with steadiness training and she's crushing it!

well, now we know where alex got it from.

he was only ever meant to watch

writing is torture but unfortunately i am a writer and will legitimately die if i do not do it

Listen, using D&D to live out your dream of fighting a parental figure in hand-to-hand combat is a very valid approach but I'm here to live out my dream of having a metaphysical and/or ethical debate with a parental figure that doesn't circle back around exclusively to Catholic dogma, and I am also valid.

his default recall is so cool..........

hello, mechanisms enjoyer. who is your favourite mechanism. what is your favourite album. what is your favourite song. what is your favourite photo. do you have a favourite live recording.

Oh hello fellow mechanisms enjoyer. I expected your arrival. Let’s get right into the questions. Favourite mechanism? I say I like them all equally, but honestly Marius is just…something. A silly guy. A funny little fella who definitely has a medical degree, a noble title, and the best outfits among the crew (two of these are a lie). Favourite album? It’s a hard tie between HNOC and TBI. On one hand Eldritch Horror, trains, and Lyf (my head is a lunar microwave and they’re constantly spinning in there), on the other HNOC has space cowboys and Galahad. A hard choice indeed. Both have amazing stories and are absolute bangers, so I guess they can both be my favourite. There are no rules in Space against this. Favourite Song? Does the second half of Terminus count? It’s not a song but it has wormed its way into my brain and refuses to leave. Actual song-wise, I’d say it’s The Once And Future King tied with Losing Track and the entirety of Alice. Hard to choose, they’re all amazing in their own way. Favourite Photo?

Classic. Iconic. Conveys chaos in ways I cannot describe. I dealt psychic damage to a violin-playing friend by showing her a cropped image of Tim from this pic.

This is a close second though. It just radiates joy. Favourite live recording? Revenge of Spaceport Mahon because it’s just happy and joyful and has amazing banter. On second and third places are the TBI debut and Tragic Horrors Act 3 respectively. Anyway, that’s it. Thank you for the questions. Farewell and until we meet again.

wait do you have a fav boys character yet ?

i really like butcher but i feel like that's a basic answer and also the wrong answer. in another world id like frenchie but i can't get over how much i hate the actor. I love maeve theres never a moment she's on screen where im thinking get this woman outta here she's always entertaining to me. i like starlight but (and this is probably a bit nasty to say) there's smth a little uncanny valley about her sometimes where when she's talking im not listening but staring at her face trying to see what features throwing me off. I hate ashley but the actress played an insufferable character in jessica jones too and I really appreciate her ability to play The Most annoying woman you know.

centrist answer i like them all (except stormfront. hated her before i even knew she was a nazi. she was on insta live and i was waiting for her to explode and die) but my fave would have to be butcher bc i find im rooting for him the most and constantly justifying his actions. but sometimes karl urbans accent pisses me off. also black noir but he doesn't Do anything so it's hard to have him as a fave bc he's barely there.

The guards called me as soon as they saw you, I'm done training them, did you need anything?

i get the frustration with so many villains now getting treatment like “oh they had a sucky childhood so actually you need to feel bad for them and not hold them accountable for their actions” but the counter of “this person was born evil and cant ever grow and its pathetic to assume that they can, also people cant be redeemed no matter what and this is fantastic writing actually” is so exhausting. 

guess what 🎟️

YAAAAAAAAY 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂thank you!!!

Honestly it kinda makes me sad that there isn't a lot of stuff on Kallen around (maybe i'm just not searching in the right place :<), but I just loved and adored her character on first sight ngl. When my friend had first showed me "Thus Spoke Apocalypse", I feel like that was already the start of the downfall because the moment Kallen showed up, I was like "👀? oh? pretty girl? hi? hello?" and then I found out she dies so ASLDJFALSKJH

Of course! I didn't get a chance to really get to know her until I picked up Elan Palatinus AND SHES JUST SOOOOO COOL I'm particularly weak for characters that act like Robin Hoods, and her story in Elan Palatinus is kinda like that, trying to protect the weak + fighting against the corrupted church that she had vowed to fight for. I think it's also interesting too that this has been a childhood dream with her childhood friend to "save the world!!" but the more she grows up, the more the dream starts to get strained, and she finds herself questioning it a bit more, but she's bound to her oath to protect and I just alskdjfaldh

Kallen also runs away from the church after stealing some big secret they had been hiding - some powerful weapon of sorts - and it's so wild to me that despite being a traitor in the church's eyes, somewhere down the line of history, you'll wind up seeing that Kallen gets called "Saint Kallen," probably thanks to Otto being the leader of the church (Otto being her friend). The girl that no longer wanted anything to do with the church now being revered as a saint for the same church for her sacrifice later. She never asked for that. I don't think she'd want that, the same way that she probably never wanted Otto to revive her later.

ANYWAYS, on that note: Yae village arc! So at least to me, when I was getting into HI3rd and reading in the recommended reading order, the way that I have Kallen in my head was that by the end of Elan Palatinus, she swore to continue on her lonely path of the Kaslana oath -- that she must always walk alone in order to protect humanity because no one else could ever shoulder this burden but her. Being betrayed by her friend, it's hard to trust anyone/rely on anyone else to do it (at least that's the way I read it but it's been a bit so that might be obscured). So to me, I think Kallen was very much stuck in this idea that she must be the only one to bear this weight to save humanity, and that plays into how I interpret a lot of Kallen and Sakura's interactions. Maybe it's also because I can't understand love at first sight as someone who is on the arospectrum, but Kallen wanting to fight alongside Sakura so Sakura is not alone, the way my brain seemed to register it as, "Is Kallen saying this because she cares for Sakura as a person? Or is this part of the Kaslana oath that she had sworn herself to?" So there's a little bit of balancing between true affection vs obligations to duty when it comes to Kallen's feelings towards Sakura (in my perspective - i'm stressing on this bc i'm anxious forgive me asldfjh). But by the end of the arc, I think Kallen turns around and actually realizes her own feelings towards Sakura in the end, but she's still dutybound and she must protect everyone, even if it means sacrificing (or well not sacrificing but locking away) Sakura in order to do so.... It's just,,, really tragic and it's just 😭😭😭😭Man......

Anyways, Kallen!! I love Kallen. I also love Kallen and Sakura. I have my own thoughts regarding Sakura's feelings towards Kallen but this was just meant to be a Kallen brainrot post myeheh <3

really really obsessed w the idea of rebooted media being just like.. reincarnation of the characters.

can someone read the httyd books

I need to talk about them with someone

CE Code Section 10: Grounding and Bonding

“Heh,” Morgan says, looking at where Alex is clutching at their hand for dear life. “Good thing that was low voltage.” Alex very distinctly wants to scream but they’re interrupted by the sound of a metal door popping open. Morgan’s face splits into a grin, shaking free of Alex’s grip they rush with their minions to grab what they came here for. ⚡⚡⚡ Or, Safety is not a joke, Morgan plays a little fast and loose, Alex is going more grey by the day