parents be like, i understand that signs of depression include things like having difficulty leaving the bed/house, general lack of energy, messed up sleep schedule, not eating etc. not my daughter tho she does all that because she wants to and bc shes lazy

Another brain moment….. (I formed a thought) I think that in a poly relationship with stsg a lot of problems that would occur in regular relationships with only one of the boys would become much easier to work around and figure out. For example, One of these things, I think, is satorus dislike for emotional vulnerability and sincerity because it makes him uncomfortable and/or scared, since those things can be used against him (which he knows is irrational because you and suguru would never use those things against him, he knows). But then when you add suguru into the mix, communication about these things would become a lot easier — because it means he’s there to step in when he knows satorus usually endearing childishness isn’t necessary in the situation and is most likely upsetting you. Because emotional vulnerability, I think, comes a bit easier to suguru than it does to satoru and he’s there if you really want to have a serious conversation about things that either of them do that might be upsetting you. Obvi not hate to my gorgeous babygirl princess wifey satoru! But he’s got trauma and trauma comes with trauma responses that make things like showing his emotions to people (even if he would hang all the stars in the night sky for them) hard and suguru is just the perfect man to help both him and you with that. Ughhhh I love them so hard….. I need to wrap them both up in a fluffy blanket and kiss them silly :((

STSG ANON u’re back!!! and here to feed us once again!!!!!!! :D

I AGREEEEEEEE U GET THEM. i trust u w my life. this is so real so true AND such a genuinely interesting discussion …. this is just me spitballing my thoughts so might be a little incoherent but!!

i think that individually both satoru and suguru have their issues, mostly related to intimacy and emotional aspects, and i think having each other would help them deal with that. not that i dont think reader could help them improve because they definitely could!! but i think the relationship benefits so much from all three of you.

first of all!! like u already mentioned anon; satoru absolutely has issues with showing emotions and being vulnerable and thats something that i think suguru in particular would be so good at managing. hes patient and gentle and he would never judge either one of you. def the best communicator too!! i see suguru as the anchor of the relationship, in a way, a safe place for you both.

and and and!! i love how u mention this: he’s there if you really want to have a serious conversation about things that either of them do that might be upsetting you. bc!! its so true & important!! i think theyre both caring and understanding and very kind, but theyre not perfect, and even suguru can probably appear a little condescending and arrogant sometimes.

but i think u’re so right anon — sugu will take ur worries seriously, and i think gojo would step up if sugu wasn’t hearing u out. (which wouldnt be a common occurence at all but like.. i think that if he’s 100% convinced that he’s in the right and maybe feeling more stressed than usual then its kinda like talking to a brick wall lol. but when that happens gojo knows he has to step in and make sure both of u communicate properly <33)

and on the topic of suguru… here’s the thing. i think sugu and gojo have very similar issues, they just deal with them differently. i see suguru as a bit of a hypocrite; he urges you and satoru to open up, but wont really do so himself. in a way i think he might be even more closed off than satoru. he’s in tune w his emotions and definitely good at dealing w them himself which is why i think he chooses not to talk to you about it — because why should he bother you with something he can handle just fine on his own? and in this case his tendency to just give and give works against him, because obv you want him to open up to you too!!

and i think this bottling up of emotions is something toru would be good at managing. because he would push suguru, maybe a little too much, maybe they’d argue for a while — but suguru would open up. for sure. i think he’d benefit from that push. and if you’re there to be a kind of mediator, to soothe him while satoru takes the more assertive role, then i think things would work out well. you just balance each other out!!

and and and!!! i think these two are such a good duo. sugu covers the bases that gojo doesnt and vice versa, and i think that no matter what issues reader has they could manage it. intimacy issues, trust issues, emotional issues in general — they can handle it!! sugu is just so endlessly patient and easy to open up to, and satoru can give you the push you need while also being so endlessly supportive and reassuring and i think they could fix me i mean you.

i got carried away again phskdjd I LOVE HEARING UR THOUGHTS ANON <333 i ALSO need to bundle them up in blankets and kiss them silly . tysm for feeding my poly stsg brainrot ily 🥺🥺

u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much. 

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember. 

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

hey I'm not sure how to tell my family that I want top surgery, I'm nb and out but I just don't know how to bring it up

EDIT: it was brought to my attention that i assumed anon mean top surgery to create a flat chest rather than augmentation and i absolutely did and that was really shitty, i’m sorry. i’ve added examples for augmentation, but please keep in mind i do not experience transmisogyny and this isn’t a procedure i would be having or dealing with how to explain it to others. if anyone on this side of things would like to add on, PLEASE do!!

hey! yeah this is a super weird + tough topic to bring up and discuss.

do you have one family member you’re closer to than others? or that would be easier to discuss these kinds of things with? that’s always where i start.

even if you dont, i find it helpful to start wil one person, form that base, and then its not totally as scary when you tell the rest all together bc you know theyre there, they know, and maybe can even help you out and back you up.

as for actually going about it. there is gonna be a point where you just need to spit it out and its scary and awkward as hell. but you can start by easing into it saying things like. hey you know how some ppl transition all different types of ways. or, you know how i have dysphoria? 

if they dont know you have dysphoria (this is assuming you do. if you dont, ignore this :P) it might be easier to start with that. you can talk about you hey you know sometimes i feel weird with my body, like it should be different and it really gets me down and makes it hard to function. etc/whatever ur experience is

honestly talking about your feelings helps so much bc it helps them realize this is not some rash phase thing but that there are feelings behind this that warrant it. talk abt dyphoria/a disconnect with ur body/how it feels to not have a flat chest/to not have breasts/the desire/etc

for making your chest flat, you can say that some people get top surgery which is like a (ok just a warning im going to use the medical term for top surgery which is applied towards cis women) mastectomy, except its to make your chest look naturally flat. you have been thinking about this for a while and you know it is what would really help you and is something you need. 

for augmentation, that same last part, but it is also a more commonly done and known about procedure, so you will have less explaining/teaching to do of what the procedure actually entails. you can talk about dysphoria and/or the desire/need to have breasts and how that manifest for you like i talked about earlier, but you can also go at it from a non-purely physical standpoint.

you can talk about how maybe you already use breast forms, so you know this is something you want and you much prefer how you look in clothes with breasts to without (if applicable, you can add in the dysphoria again from being in clothing with a flat chest) you can also talk about how, if you’re wearing “women’s” clothing, most, like all, is made to accommodate breasts and not having them makes it very hard to find flattering clothing. this would allow you a wider range of clothing to choose from, allowing you again to possibly alleviate dysphoria from being able to wear the type of clothes you want to in the first place!

for a flat chest, the same goes in terms of binding. if you already bind, that offers “evidence” to them that you know what you look like with a flat chest and this is something you really want. you can talk about the dangers of binding that are inevitable, even when doing so properly. you can talk about what you already might experience, back/rib pain, trouble breathing, etc. too, you can also talk about binding under clothes and how it often does not give you as flat a chest as you would naturally have and the dysphoria possibly left over from that, as well as having to choose clothing based on how well it hides your chest/binder (material, thickness/weave, cut/looser, etc)

for flat chests, offering to show pictures can help bc often the picture they create in their mind is only from what theyve seen of mastectomies for cancer patients and they picture some weird scary mutilated image of their child/sibling/whatever (this is not at all to say that is what the chests of cancer survivors look like. this is to say they often only have that image so they use that as a base (inaccurate) and then turn that into what they perceive to be that gross Your Mutilating Ur Body cis trope)

but also, if they are not ready to see pictures, do. not. show. them. if they are not comfortable with u being trans already, this will make things worse. it can set you back a lot and that sucks but sometimes you just need to do whats gonna be best for you.

something that apparently really helped my mom was mentioning that worst case scenario, i could always get implants. of course, for me, this was and is never something that would be right for me or even be a consideration, but i needed her on my side and a parents thought is always What If You Change Your Mind. easing their worries helps your case even if it goes against you.

this goes for breast augmentation too, where you can say the same thing that you could always get them removed. you have the added benefit in terms of scars of being able to say that they tend to not be very noticeable or look different from a cis person’s augmentation. here, again, you can also show pictures. too, if theyre not ready to think of you as someone with breasts, don’t show them, because they will likely let that get in the way of letting you (if you need their permission) have surgery, and it will just affect their judgment anyway.

if they are okay with it though, you may even choose to show them cis and trans after pictures to show that it is not that different in case they are worried if you were ever stealth and someone “finding out” from your scars... idk. but pictures in general may very well be able to work in your favor because they can see how unobtrusive and natural the end result and scars typically are.

also, i would mention the size and show after pictures of ppl w/ that size and a similar body type to yours, and let them know, if applicable, that you are not going “ginormous” like many cis people first seem to think, idk why. that you just want natural breasts. and if you dont, thats absolutely your choice, but it may not be the best idea to tell them how precisely large you plan on going, though maybe a rough idea isnt such a bad idea so theyre not shocked and have time to picture you this way and become more comfortable with the idea of surgery, but yeah if you want large breasts, as in larger than typical or expected for your body type, they may see that as less "okay” and use that as an excuse to invalidate you/your needs.

i hope this was somewhat helpful. if you need anything more, feel free to msg us again :)

-emma