#if people are listening to things physically it's on vinyl but i feel like they could've just done the vault tracks alone on vinyl you
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hcs you have for Scara? Love seeing new writers around here 🫶
꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱ SCARA HEADCANNONS.
note: omh ty for the req !! i did 2 versions bcause i got carried away UM anw enjoy xoxo kisses hugs :33
[wanderer!scara, modern au!scara x gn!reader] fluff, pinches of angst, mentioned mommy issues and trust issues !!
modern au scara !!
Scara is definitely a band kid and in my opinion, he'd absolutely be an electric bassist. He carries around the band-aids you gave him so he can use one whenever his fingertips get cut from the tough strings of the instrument.
Scara loves judging everybody in his classes and making people uncomfortable because he's a menace like that. His narrowed sapphire gaze following certain people with ill thoughts and a slight grimace; you already know he's judging them real hard.
It's simply impossible for him to go a day, no, even an hour, without his headphones and downloaded music from his favourite artists. Scara's music taste consists mostly of Chase Atlantic, Artic Monkeys, TV Girl, Cigarettes After Sex and he's a closeted Mitski listener.
Mommy issues and miscommunication trope with Ei. Scara aspires to be anything else but the occupation Ei suggested for him. Ei compares Scara to his sister, Raiden, without knowing it hurts Scara's feelings because she's bad at communicating and getting her words right overall.
Shops at Hot Topic and Miniso. Miniso, because he only goes there for the Kuromi stuff that reminds him of you (since you're always telling him how you and him are literally Kuromi and Badtzmaru) and Hot Topic is self-explanatory.
Adding onto the Kuromi and Badtzmaru topic. Ever since you made that comment, Scara ended up loving that specific pair of cute Sanrio characters. He now owns a Badtzmaru hoodie (yours is a Kuromi one: hashtag couple goals), five Kuromi figures and more than thirty things consist of Badtzmaru in his bedroom.
Scara's bedroom is neat but messy at the same time. The room is fairly big and he has his bassist on its stand in the corner of the room with a huge Badtzmaru plushie sitting on the floor by it. His bed is filled with your gifts of plushies from past dates or occasions.
Scara has an area dedicated to his favourite music artists with posters of their albums plastered to the black painted wall. You bought him TV Girl's French Exit vinyl for his birthday, which he always plays on the record player whenever you come over or when he's missing you (by missing you, I mean whenever you're not with him).
Everytime you mention a new song you like, Scara immediately learns it on his bass so he can impress you. You find it so cute how these little gestures of his are all for your compliments and affection when all he could do is breathe and you'd be head over heels for him.
Scara is unfiltered, cunning and a tease. He'll say whatever he wants at any given time and doesn't mind what people think at all (he fights back the urge to rock someone's shit when they disagree with him.) He's your cute little drama queen.
genshin au scara (wanderer) !!
Wanderer's favourite time of day is when the sun starts to set and he gets to have his long awaited tea time with you. You know the perfect way on how to make his tea and it's so natural to the point of when Wanderer tastes any other tea, it just can't compare to the way you make it.
Despite loving you very dearly, and he'd never admit this last bit aloud, he still has some sort of doubt against you. Should something happen to you that marks your permanent disappearance that neither you or him could prevent, what would he do? Wanderer simply does not know. And he certainly wouldn't want to know.
Wanderer enjoys the feeling of your hands in his hair. Whether your hands are soft, rough, cold, or warm, he doesn't mind. He just loves feeling your gentle and affectionate touch against his head as you play with his hair or even braid some strands together.
In general, Wanderer loves physical touch. Holding hands, soft kisses and hugs; It's all so wonderful to him. It makes him feel wanted and loved, like you actually think of him dearly. He loves it especially when you initiate it first. After that, he'll be more than comfortable doing it without waiting for you to do it ahead of him.
Wanderer keeps all of the silly trinkets, gifts and letters you've given him in a box that's kept in a very safe place where no one knows, not even you. Everytime he comes across it, unknowingly to him, a soft smile forms on his lips as he remembers the fact that he's this important to you.
Wanderer absolutely adores it when he makes you smile or laugh. He'll proudly smirk and throw in a teasing remark at this but is hiding the fact that he's just an embarrassed doll with an adorable lover. He loves making you feel good, both verbally and physically, as it feeds his ego and reassures him that he's doing great at being your beloved.
Wanderer's gifts for you are usually handmade, like the cute doll that looks like you which he got to keep so he could give you a doll that looks like him in return. He loves seeing you carry the doll around with you when you want to take it out of your messenger bag, holding it so gently as if it were Wanderer himself.
Whenever you're not paying attention, Wanderer looks at you and observes you. He loves noticing new little things about you, like the way you make little popping noises with your lips when you're bored or the way you subconsciously reach out to hold onto his hand. He adores every, single, little thing.
Wanderer often finds himself trying to impress you. If he sees you walking about, he'll immediately find something heavy to pick up and "coincidentally" run into you so he can make sure you see his amazing skills. You find this habit of his somewhat adorable as you smile and praise him for his strengths. He ends up getting quite flustered, in the end.
Depending on Wanderer's mood, he'll be very flirty one moment or very shy the next. If you manage to outdo him with his charming comments, trust me, he turns into the cutest blushing mess ever. He'll look away as he denies your question about whether he became timid or not.
🐾🍫🍮 : © haerin1
(do not translate, steal or take too much inspo from my works)
#✮+ cyvie's web library !#gender neutral reader#scaramouche#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche modern au#genshin modern au#scaramouche fanfic#scaramouche headcanons#scaramouche fanfics#scaramouche fanfiction#scaramouche fluff#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin x you#scaramouche imagines#kunikuzushi#wanderer
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"Deah Shroud!: A Nick Valentine Mystery" EXPLAINED and AMA
It never occurred to me to do this last year, but a lot of people have asked me questions about our Fallout 4 play in the last year in the Discord, so I wanted to open an AMA but also explain "Death Shroud!" and some of the broader themes involved in it.
**SPOILERS AHEAD**
Part 1: Pre-production
Before I get into the story, I wanted to explain how this production even came about. Over the years after working together on some official community projects with Wes Johnson through Bethesda, we became good friends. I took a couple of his acting classes and he talked about the Fallout For Hope charity initiative I started and asked for help in organizing the gaming community for his Alzheimer's Association fundraiser. The idea was to host a month-long digital event of discussion panels, game shows, improv and a play with as many different voices of video games, film and TV as we could round up. In our second year of his VoiceAPalooza fundraiser, I wanted to do an original old time radio show and see if could bring back as many of the cast that we could from Fallout 4. It was Wes who first suggested an adventure with his Silver Shroud character (that he voiced in Fallout 4's radio plays) teaming up with Nick Valentine (voiced by the amazing Stephen Russell). Valentine is, for me, one of the best written, unique companions in Fallout lore.
So, I reached out to Stephen Russell who had joined us before for charity work and he was all in on bringing Nick Valentine back to life! After that things moved fast with Bethesda's Pete Hines and Emil Pagliarulo joining us to have some fun for a good cause. We tried to get EVERY companion from Fallout 4 that we could, but schedule wrangling is tough, and some people are just impossible to track down or find. Matt Mercer would've loved to have joined us as Macready, but unfortunately scheduling didn't work, so the best we could manage would be a holotape (the only reason our snarky gun running merc had to take the big sleep in the story).
After having everyone plugged in to reprise characters, it was time to put fingers to keys and find the story...
Part 2: The Deep Lore
The origin of this story started with a thought: how would the NPC's and characters we love perceive modification of their universe by us? We, as players aren't the true creators of this universe or these characters (Bethesda is). If anything, we the players are the equivalent of "lesser gods", reshaping it in new ways, unexpected and subjective ways, and sometimes even chaotic ways (I'm looking at you avalanche of adult mods with realistic jiggle physics and Thomas the Tank Engine Vertibird).
It started with a mental image of the small ways in which we start out modding games, or even the first mods we (using the "Engine of Creation) actually create. I had a mental image of Magnolia doing her thing, singing away sultry in a crowded and smoky third rail when she looks one way, back the next and sees new curtains. A subtle thing, something a little startling, but in a universe where recreational drug use is met with a YEEE YEEEE WHEEEE...a change you simply dismiss as being overtired or a little too juiced.
I'm a sucker for old time radio. I grew up listening to classic radio horrors like The Whistler, Suspense, and Lights Out on vinyl records and cassette tapes when I'd spend summers with my grandmother on a little island off the coast of Canada. Getting the tone, feeling and sound to stage an old-time radio show was the easiest part of this whole process...it's baked into my brain lol. The key of course is finding the right narrative voice.
Enter: Bill Lobley. If you play Fallout 76, he is the announcer for the "Tales from the West Virginia Hills" holotapes, but before that he's a prolific voice actor, maybe best known for his role as the truly vile Jeremiah Fink in Bioshock: Infinite. He has a FANTASTIC transatlantic voice for old time radio and was perfect as narrator in the script.
Part 3: What Is Going On?!?!
I had the base idea, the voices to pull it off, but what was the meaning and message of the whole thing? I always start there. From a meta experience level, the story is about dealing with subjective reality that’s being torn apart. After Fallout 4 launched in vanilla, we the players changed that world and reshaped it with mods. The small changes in perceived reality are meant for the omniscient player (us) and are not meant to be perceived by the characters themselves...and yet, what if they were? And if they were...WHY?! The answer was right in front of me: there's a difference between something born into a world and something MADE into a world.
You take someone like Magnolia or Nick, both synths, that obviously weren’t naturally born from two people. They were conceived as an idea...a human idea sure, but still they were made, not born. Without even needing to say in the script, the Trickster from the Grognak comic books who shouldn't exist yet does IS also an idea. Some MADE into a world but not born...a different world sure, but still the creation of it. Nick, Magnolia, any synth as ideas themselves would sense that the world was wrong and being changed in a way no one else would because of fundamentally who they are and what they represent.
Everything that unfolds is because Nora as a keystone event in the Commonwealth, a focal point of the causal nexus making her a unique entity in that world. A causal nexus is the link between a cause and its resulting effects and ignore the science mumbo jumbo, because here's an example of how that works:
The Sole Survivor, Nora, listened to Kent's message, chose to answer him and put on the outfit of the Silver Shroud. As a unique figure she shifted perceived reality of everyone in the Commonwealth by becoming the Silver Shroud, acting like him and making people believe that a fictional character exists.
Unfettered belief and faith in an idea = manifested reality.
Rejected belief and faith in the idea = dispels that reality.
This HAS happened before in Fallout lore in the instance of people with horrifying backstories and personal tragedies choosing to become someone else such as the Mechanist (Fallout 3 and Fallout 4) or even the Ant-Agonizer (Fallout 3). This time however it was a unique figure who did this, a figure fated and meant to reshape the Commonwealth for good, bad or ugly.
This opened a door, the door through which another figure could influence and enter a new universe provided it take the form of something already in it...a reality side-step into the form of the Mechanist. Concurrently, the moment that happened, reality counterbalanced by making the Silver Shroud who was already believed to be real BECOME real as the ying to the Mechanist/Trickster's yang.
Now at home in reality, the Trickster found himself very much alive and unbound by story but had very little power to do much at all. He needed something more, an idea and faith that already existed in the Commonwealth with the infinite universe of ideas made, but not born like himself. His goal wasn't power, it was to sow chaos, reshaping reality into a realm for any and every idea despite the consequences to reality itself.
So what did he need? The belief in the Old Gods and a focus point of belief in the idea: a staff. The universe is as adaptive as it is remarkable and where the Mechanist had its opposite: the Silver Shroud, the Trickster needed its twin: enter Sheogorath...because what better staff to tear apart and reshape reality than the Staff of Sheogorath. There is a quest added in the new Skyrim Anniversary Edition in which you can build it for yourself with a few items: Branch of the Tree of Shades, Ciirta's Eye, Fork of Horripilation. In this universe it would have to fashioned with things FROM this universe.
Two eyes were needed:
The eye of a True Believer: Kent Connolly
The eye of a True Seer: Mama Murphy
Affixed to the top of a staff of the purest heartwood from a Twice Born Tree. Living wood from Harold, born a man who eventually mutated into a living tree.
Lastly, it had to be soaked in the tears of ages end: barrels of radiated blessed waters courtesy of the Cult of Atom.
The Trickster had no magic of his own in this universe in which to act, but thankfully courtesy of some powerful allies, he was able to make contact with shadowy cults and worshippers of the old gods who gave him the name of someone truly of faith in the old magic to make all of this work: Jebediah Blackhall, who in this spin of the universe did unfortunately get his hands on the cursed book: the Krivbeknah.
Finding allies was all too easy, as the events post main quest left the Commonwealth changed. To many, the Sole Survivor and his/her companions would be hailed as heroes. To others, they would be villains, particularly in light of what Nora CHOSE to do to the Railroad to end the synth threat for good. That's a lot of blood on the hands of heroes...
As the Mechanist/Trickster, Blackall and the Lombardos began using the staff, its changes and shifts in reality rippled backwards through time, as changing one specific thing would change its entire existence. You change some curtains and the manufacturer of those curtains only every made one pattern...the world object becomes changed universally. Tapping into the Engine of Creation to make these changes, leaves anyone MADE not born aware of them as they don't fit into the design as it shifts around them. Nick, Danse, Magnolia would all feel and see it, be thrown off for a bit before settling into the changed reality state.
At the climax when everything starts falling apart and you get everyone from GlaDOS and the Joker strolling on in, the only way to end it all is to separate the Trickster from the Staff and restore the saved intended state of reality. The Silver Shroud finds himself powerless against the Trickster...only someone from this universe would be able to intercede, hard wired into the Engine of Creation itself as an existing element connected throughout its framework and history. After sending the Trickster off packing to the moon (thanks GlaDOS), but its a little too late for reality. It collapses around them, finding themselves elsewhere...the point between the mind, creation and the outcome of reality.
After the Shroud fades away, Nick has the power and choice to roll the universe, his universe back along the tapestry of choices that led him here. They all were haunted by the choices they made the first time around, something Nora couldn't live with...that ultimately led her relationship with Danse to fall apart. So Nick decides to go back further, as far back as he can go and he finds himself back in his office with Ellie waking him up.
There are consequences to what he's done, that he's not yet aware of, ones that will become clear in our next episode. The synths remember, as he remembers...Danse, Magnolia and everyone else remembers the fall of the Institute. They all find themselves at their starting point, moving towards their intended fated position to encounter the Sole Survivor. For Nick? He's starting down the path that will led him to be held prisoner and meet the Sole Survivor for the first time.
As he'll soon discover however, things don't play out the same way this time. Moreover, while he was rolling back reality to an early saved state, he made a huge mistake and completely forgot about something and someone so incredibly important...
You'll have to wait to see what that is...
#death shroud#chad: a fallout 76 podcast#chad: a fallout 76 story#fallout 4#fallout for hope#wes johnson#fallout#fallout fanfic#nick valentine
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YEONJUN: “It’s the one and only time I’ve ever truly been in love with something I’m doing”
TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Name Chapter: FREEFALL comeback interview
2023.10.26
YEONJUN, an artist firmly planted in the now, took a look back at the times when he didn’t feel he amounted to anything at all.
I heard you have some new hobbies, including photography and listening to vinyl records. Is there a reason you’re taking pictures with special equipment now?
YEONJUN: As you know, I’m always having my picture taken by cameras. One time I was hanging out with a friend and they showed up with their camera. I saw the photos they took when we met some time later and they were amazing. I wanted to be able to do that, too—to look back on memories of everyday moments that would otherwise just pass by and capture them instead. The photos I take will be more than simply what the other cameras capture of me—they’re my very own behind-the-scenes look at things.
You mentioned that you’ve become more introverted and that you’re devoting more time and energy to yourself.
YEONJUN: I used to always meet up with friends whenever I had some downtime, but now it’s like I keep looking for things I want to do alone. I mean, my job requires that I’m constantly in front of other people.. At some point I took a look and realized I didn’t have a single minute to myself. I felt like I needed some time exclusively for me. I never used to like eating alone, but at some point, it became something I felt comfortable doing, and I ended up with more time to recharge my batteries while quietly writing lyrics or cleaning up my room.
It sounds like the change happened while you were figuring out for yourself what your needs are.
YEONJUN: I habitually end up taking a look at how I’m doing, so I’m usually pretty self-aware.
Since you know yourself that well, you must be very aware of how you come across to others. Is there any special reason you carefully pick out your outfits, even on just regular days?
YEONJUN: With my job and everything, I always make an effort to dress decently, even on regular days. I think your outward appearance is important in this job, and paying attention to small details like that is one way I take care of myself.
You’re very hard on yourself, so you usually aren’t totally satisfied with your own performances, but you said, for the first time “in the longest time,” you were “satisfied with” and “proud of” your performance of “Back for More (with Anitta)” at the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards.
YEONJUN: We do the same dances hundreds of times for every song, so I can tell when I’m doing a good job or not. In most cases, there’s parts I’m a little unhappy with. Maybe I didn’t manage my energy properly, or I missed a move, or became a little stiff, and even if mistakes like those don’t show, we know. Those are the kind of small details only we notice, and even if people say we did a good job, we just feel bad about it no matter what. I feel like it’s hard to pull off as well as we do during practices because of the different outfits and our physical condition on the actual stage, but I felt like I actually was as good at the VMAs as when we practiced, so I was happy with the performance.
Did you plan every single thing in advance while practicing, like how to move your body without a single issue by carefully thinking through your movements down to the angle of your legs and the small details with your toes?
YEONJUN: It’s habitual now. You don’t think about how you should hold your spoon when you’re eating—you just eat. Similarly, the same thing applies to everything from angles to small details when practicing because all of those things have to be perfect. I don’t set out to pay special attention to any particular part when dancing—it just comes naturally to me now that I’m always paying attention.
I was really impressed the way you suggested to the other members of the group that you treat practice like the real thing for Lollapalooza Chicago, or how you actively contributed ideas on how to improve things when you were working together with the backup dancers from overseas.
YEONJUN: I think that was a result of me feeling like I’m responsible when it comes to matters of the stage. I want to be free and loose when performing at a festival, but looking back, it felt to me like we came across less like having a good time before and more stiff. So I thought, if we can’t just go in right away feeling loose, we need to practice that. And I naturally learned how to work better with backup dancers thanks to all the experience I’ve had. I’ve been working with all kinds of people ever since I was a trainee, and I learned that it’s better even for the people you’re collaborating with if you don’t hold anything back and just speak openly about your thoughts. I also feel like you have to know how to put a somewhat laid back, comfortable atmosphere in place in order for things to go smoothly.
You once said that “whether it be the biggest venue or the biggest stage for a singer, I want to perform in it.” Since then, you headlined Lollapalooza and performed at the VMAs. Would you say that, to some extent, your wish came true?
YEONJUN: Very much so. But I still want more. Humans are greedy. (laughs) I want to push our boundaries as far as we can. Playing on big stages is a significant source of motivation for me. Achieving one thing doesn’t mean it’s the end. I don’t want to slide back when we’re already up here. The more we grow and deliver good results, the bigger the expectations from the audience. I think the higher you climb, the harder the fall can be, and that pushes me to keep obsessing over getting better. But most importantly, I don’t want to let myself down.
our third studio album is about gliding down toward your dreams while also taking on the real world. Are you experiencing any “growing pains,” like in the lyrics to the single “Chasing That Feeling”?
YEONJUN: I know I have a lot of room for improvement, but I don’t really want to show that part of me to other people. I know just how much I still have left to work on. That’s why I have to work harder and why I’m so obsessed with the idea. It’s something that eats away at me sometimes, but I also know that it helps me grow, so I don’t shut it out. And that’s why I really want to capture that drive in our latest single. I want to be totally absorbed in the song when I’m performing it for people.
I’m reminded of when you were recording the previous album and you were frustrated because you were having a very hard time putting the direction you received into practice even though you understood it. What were things like this time around?
YEONJUN: It was like that this time too. Some songs are suited for my voice and easy to sing, but there’s also songs that make me go, What —am I seriously this bad? (laughs) “Happily Ever After” was hard because the really high and thin style is a bit different from my own, and yet “Growing Pain,” even though it was my first time trying something like that, was actually fine. I’m really into rock these days and it was fun because I think I really leveled up while singing it. I wanted to show off that I’m good at stuff like this, too.
You helped write lyrics for five songs on this album, and you always give your lyrics a really trendy, unique spin. What’s your approach to writing?
YEONJUN: I’m actually getting a little bit confused lately. The writing process didn’t go so smoothly this time around. (laughs) I don’t think it’s easy to incorporate my usual writing style with the kind of storytelling that the label is after. I actually thought I had a good grasp of that before, but not that much of what I wrote was a good fit for the album this time, I guess. (laughs) Bits and pieces of my lyrics made it in, but it feels like I wasn’t grasping the right feeling or like I wasn’t quite sure of myself when I wrote them.
It’s like the more you feel that sense of conflict, the more you crave to be creative.
YEONJUN: I’ve had that exact same thought lately. (laughs) I’ve also been working on a mixtape, but writing the lyrics has become a bit harder, and that’s because I’m trying to write good ones. I feel like I can’t really get going—maybe because I’m too worried about being perfect. It’s like I used to write freely before but now I have so many hang-ups that it’s like torture trying to write, like, Man … What now? Once again, it’s all because of the pressure I put on myself.
For all the pressure you’re feeling, you sure show a lot of pride and self-confidence. How can you consistently feel so proud of your group when you’re practically a perfectionist when it comes to your own work?
YEONJUN: I just … I just feel confident. Sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough and I lose some of my self-esteem, but I don’t think I’ve ever lost my sense of pride in the group or in myself. To be honest, there’s going to be some people who think we’ve had some things relatively easy thanks to how good our label is and the artists here that came before us. While it’s true that we got help from so many people, we’re the ones who made it through it all and we worked for everything we ever achieved. I have pride and confidence in that. Because, at the end of the day, we’re the ones who walked this road and made it all this way.
I think the reason you keep reaching for someplace higher without settling for what you already have is because you know that you can make it.
YEONJUN: I think I can—at least I’m confident I might be able to. You’ll never make it otherwise. You need to have spirit at least if you want to make something happen. (laughs)
When MOA recently asked you if it’s okay for them to watch the boy group survivor show that aired recently, you were quick to respond, “You can watch it. I’m not worried—I know you still love me.” Did you say that because you’re confident in yourself or because you feel secure in your relationship with MOA?
YEONJUN: Both. (laughs) Anyway, I mean, of course they can watch it. But I had this kind of confidence: “You would still love me more.” (laughs) And anyway, I know MOA is just joking around and trying to make me jealous. (laughs)
You sound like legit friends. (laughs) You’ve said you don’t feel the slightest bit nervous or any kind of pressure when you’re on stage and it’s just MOA.
YEONJUN: Just as you don’t second guess yourself or give a second thought to what you’re doing when you’re with your real friends, when we’re going to see MOA, I tell the other members “Guys, let’s just have fun!” They know and love everything about us better than anyone—everything from our personalities to the ways we sing and dance. So I don’t feel any pressure at all. Conversely, I feel a little pressure when there’s other people there because I want to make our fans proud.
What do you feel is your secret weapon for making your fans so proud? When you were on SUCHWITA with TAEHYUN, he said it’s your “charm and star quality.”
YEONJUN: My secret weapon? Well … I’m curious, too. I don’t really know, to be honest. Maybe just, I guess, that I’m equally not too bad at everything? (laughs) Now that we’ve been around a few years, I’ve heard so many times that younger artists really, really look up to me. It made me think, Am I really that great? What is it about me? (laughs) And I’ve thought about it from time to time, but the honest answer is that I just don’t know. But also that I kind of do? (laughs) If I were forced to choose, I’d probably choose what TAEHYUN said, but I think I’ll just keep working hard all the same, no matter what it is. (laughs)
When you and TAEHYUN said on the show that you’re determined to make it all the way to the top, it made me curious where you get that kind of ambition from.
YEONJUN: I used to be this kind of person who wasn’t good at a single thing. But then people started to pay attention to me for the first time when I danced at school. I was terrible at it (laughs) but the kids all said, “You’re good at dancing,” and that’s where it all started. I wasn’t ambitious and full of drive like this at first, but then I became a trainee, got a little better fighting through the steep competition, eventually debuted, faced even more competition, and step by step, throughout that process, it was only natural that I became so ambitious. I never wanted to do anything other than this, and that’s still true today. What would I do otherwise? It’s not because I’m not good at anything else but because there’s nothing else I love and put as much emotion and energy into. There’s plenty of times when this job gets hard, but I think I’d be having a much harder time if I weren’t doing it.
Did pursuing your dream have a direct effect on your self-improvement even when you had lower self-esteem?
YEONJUN: It must’ve had a big effect. When I first went to dance academy, I was so nervous that I couldn’t even sing. I couldn’t dance, either. I was really scared and had no confidence, asking myself if I was even capable. It felt like no one would ever notice me. But then, while I was there, I heard things like, “You have good facial expressions when you dance,” and, “Your tone is good when you sing,” and every time I was paid a compliment like that, it was a huge boost. I think that built up my self-confidence a bit, again and again, then more and more and more until I got to where I am today. So many people were by my side during those tough times. They became my friends and spent their time with me. Looking back now, that was both one of the hardest and one of the happiest times of my life.
Wow. It sounds like taking this path changed you completely.
YEONJUN: True. So true. It changed me a lot. It’s the one and only time I’ve ever truly been in love with something I’m doing.
You were asked who you would want to be if you could be one other person for a day, and you answered no one because you like yourself better than anyone else. What do you feel when you look back at everything that’s happened to you so far?
YEONJUN: The life I’ve led so far, the people I’ve met along the way, all the relationships, my job—I’m just so grateful for everything. That’s why I’d want to be reborn as me again. Even if I had to go through all the rough times again. Because I know I’d find the happiness in all of it anyway.
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OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!
so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this
putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol
so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights
one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript
i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album
okay so lets dive into this track by track
SIDE A
track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)
okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.
according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".
now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)
track two: The Tortured Poets Department
A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track
track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor
track four: Down Bad
okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song
SIDE B
track five: So Long, London
alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me
track six: But Daddy I Love Him
okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her
track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer
okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship
track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)
alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.
night one: speak now and treacherous
night two: the great war and youre on your own kid
night three: mad woman and mean
SIDE C
track nine: Guilty as Sin?
okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here
track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well
track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner
track twelve: loml
so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)
SIDE D
track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song
track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)
track fifteen: The Alchemy
now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?
track sixteen: Clara Bow
alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time
track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript
alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind
that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕
#my posts 💕#taylor swift#swiftie#swifties#taylor swift theories#clowning 🤡#ttpd#the tortured poets department
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The Sweater
Part 5 of Unnamed Charlie fic with a bit of spicy Kirby x fem!reader
(edit: name change. Formerly unnamed)
A/n: I have noticed a continuity error in my story. Scream 4 takes place in October. I thought it took place in September. I will be switching to autumn instead of spring from here on out. Also there is Kirby x reader x Charlie at the end of this. The next chapter will most likely be the last of this series. I might make it a little more Kirby x reader towards the end.
TW: mentions of murder, mentions of stalking, mentions of theft, sexual contact. I think that's it.
///////////////////////////////////////<3//////////////////////////////////////////
The morning after the kiss was crazy. Olivia was dead. Murdered. People were saying it was brutal. There were plenty of rumors and claims about the killing, but none were confirmed. I think Sidney's publisher is dead too
It's been three days. I was more scared than ever. I haven't gotten any more texts but it seems like things keep disappearing. I don't know when or why these things are being taken.
Little things that shouldn't be missed, but things I noticed. I'm an organization mess. Everything is all over the place, but I know what goes where. I'm missing 2 more pairs of underwear, and some lewd Polaroids that I thought were well hidden.
Charlie and I still haven't talked about the kiss. I'm not sure if we ever will. We kissed once after. We've definitely been closer physically. I'm okay with it. I'm content.
I can't believe we still have school tomorrow. People are dying. Three students are dead. We should at least get a few days to mourn.
Charlie and I were supposed to hang out today. He texted me telling me he'd be here later, but I decided to just go to bed.
I can't help but feel anxious. More than usual. Something bad is going to happen. Ghostface is clearly back. I think my break-ins and missing things might be connected.
I'm laying in bed, stoned. Heater on,with multiple blankets piled over me, and a movie playing in the background. The cool autumn air breezing through my open window. I opted to give up keeping my window closed. It's been apparent that it's not working. I had my favorite candle lit. This was nice. I needed this.
I was in my favorite sweater, the one Charlie got me. He stole it yesterday, as he does sometimes, and now it smells like him.
I can feel myself drifting off. My eyes and mind go black
I hear the squeak of my window being closed. In my tired mind, I don't fully process the implications of that. Figuring it was Charlie, I go back to sleep.
It couldn't have been more than a few minutes later when I was woken up to the feeling of fingers rubbing up and down my thighs. I freeze.
Soon I feel a full hand continuing the motion on the back of my thigh.
I feel someone climbing into the bed, up towards me. As they lay behind me, a scent fills my nose. Charlie.
I feel him kiss the back of my head and slip his hand up my sweater. He lays it on my bare stomach. His hand is cold compared to my stomach.
Moving back towards him, I bask in his warmth. His hand slips up to my clothed breast. My bra was unpadded and thin. I'm sure he could feel everything. He was gentle, though. Not attempting to do anything more than lay his hand there. It felt like he was trying to get a feel for my boundaries.
When it comes to Charlie, and what I'd let him do, there are no boundaries.
"Is this okay?" He asks, quietly, unsure if I'm asleep.
I tiredly mumble out an affirmation. We just lay there like that for awhile until we're both sleep.
<3
Today is the first day that Charlie is still in bed with me in the morning. The sun is shining through the curtains. For a while we just lay there together, talking and listening to the random vinyl that he put on. Everything seems perfect right now.
Charlie told me about his, Robbie's, and Gale's agreement. I told him about how My dad said my mom had always been a fan of Gale. He offered to get something signed.
Finally we get up for school. Getting back to our usual routine after that break of not talking is so nice. I finally don't have to get my coffee alone every morning.
<3
School was the same as everyday, surprising. We have "cinema club" today after school. I think the name is dumb but I'd never tell the boys that. Today we have Sidney and Gale visiting.
I can't lie. I wasn't listening at all. Until the stab-a-thon was mentioned. I had forgotten about that. I had to go. Going it's a requirement for being friends with Charlie. It seems that we're a bit more than friends now, so that's absolutely no way I can skip.
<3
Charlie makes me come early to help set up. I don't really mind. It means I can start drinking early, and I get the best seat.
After a bit of the, people start screaming and running. Then I see Gale on the ground and Dewey shooting a masked Ghostface. Running to Gale, I begin to put pressure on the wound.i stay there until ems shows up.
Once I finally get back to my car, Charlie is already there.
"Kirby invited us to her house for an after party" he said, getting in the passenger side.
"You direct and dj, and I'll drive"
After a few minutes on the road, I finally decide to do something I should have done a while ago.
"Charlie?"
"Yeah?" I see him turn to look at me from" the corner of my eye.
"I think Ghostface has been stalking me."
"Stop the car" his voice booming with demand.
I do. I pull over and put the car in park. I turn to him, the look on his face is hard to read.
"What makes you think that?"
I show him the texts, the video, and tell him the list of things that have gone missing from my room. Charlie insists that we should tell people when we get the house. I agree and get back on the road.
Once we're there, I feel calmer. I know these people. I feel safe with these people.
Jill and Kirby are sitting next to each other, Charlie is putting on Stab 7, despite mine and Jill's disagreement.
Charlie, Kirby, and I have a back and forth about what took place earlier.
I've always had positive feelings about Kirby, but I never realized she was this cool. The more I talk to her, the more I understand Charlie's crush. I'm sitting in the chair closest to her. As we continue the conversation, Kirby puts her hand on my upper thigh, pinky and ring finger slightly under my skirt.
Then Trevor walks in. I don't trust him. I don't think any of us do. Trevor mentions the unlocked door.
"I'm sorry. I was the last one in," I quickly shot out. Kirby gives me a reassuring smile.
Charlie gets up and Trevor sits in his seat
After a debate about how Trevor found out we were here. Jill goes to find her phone.
"So Charlie, Robbie. How does it feel to be accessories to a crime? I mean, really, Dewey's wife?" Trevor asks, arrogantly.
"My life is over" replies Robbie.
"So which one of you sent me a text from Jill's phone?" Trevor follows up.
(Sorry straight readers, I had to add some Kirby x reader)
After some discourse about the phone, Trevor leaves, leaving Kirby, Charlie, and I alone.
I had moved over to share the couch with Kirby and Charlie sat in my previous seat. Robbie leaves from the kitchen to the balcony.
Once he was gone, Kirby pulled me closer to her, inviting Charlie to sit on the other side of me. She turns to us, putting her hand on my thigh.
"So are you two together?" She asks. We look at each other unsure how to answer.
"So Charlie, you wouldn't mind if I did this? She asks, putting a hand on my cheek and pulling me to look at her. Not kissing close, but close enough to feel her breath on my lips. She proceeds to slid her hand up my thigh, pushing my skirt up slightly, until she was under it. Then she slid a finger under the waistband of my underwear and pulled, letting it snap against my skin. I unconsciously hiss as it hits me. Kirby pushed my chin to face my head towards Charlie. He looks flustered, a pink tint dusting his face. I can see a prominent bulge in his pants.
Trevor walks in, making us all pull apart in embarrassment.
After letting him know him upstairs, Trevor makes himself comfortable in the seat closest to us. Charlie hastily gets up and leaves.
After some discourse between Kirby and Trevor, he leaves to get Jill. Leaving me and Kirby alone. Kirby sends me an apologetic look while placing a hand back on my thigh and giving a reassuring squeeze. Then she kisses me. Lightly, but needy. When she pulls away she goes back to watching the movie like nothing ever happened.
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Family
(AKA some of my Tom “Iceman” Kazansky headcanons)
Warnings: Tom “Iceman” Kazansky’s father’s A+ parenting (not), mentions of cancer.
Author’s Note: This was instigated by @callsign-skydancer, after she sent me a very insightful message, and I just had to go with it, until, voilà, I churned this out in an hour and a half.
I’ve had these headcanons for a while now, but it’s because of Sky that I decided to get them down.
I’ll be using these in some later stories, so if you see some copy-pasting, you didn’t see anything, self-plagiarism doesn’t count, 😂.
I have no idea if this makes any sense, I wrote this in what I feel is a weird tense, but I have to get this out of my head, so I can finish “Wherever You Go”.
Enough of the Authoress talking, here we go!
Family has a great deal of meaning for Thomas Kazansky.
It affects and has affected him in more ways than one, and it continues to influence and shape him.
It was why he joined the Navy.
Most people assume that his father was Navy, because they hear higher-ranking officers whisper “He’s related to Kazansky” or things like that, but they’d be wrong.
His father was not Navy.
His father is Dr. Vasily Kazansky, a prominent Honolulu cardiologist, who detests all things military, who wanted nothing but for Tom to follow in his footsteps, demanding utmost academic excellence in preparation for medical school, creating a habit drilled into him that carried over into Tom’s service.
His grandfather, however, was Captain Sergei Kazansky, a highly decorated US Navy officer who served during World War II.
As a child, during visits to his Dedushka Sergei and Babusya Anya, young Thomas could be found in his grandfather’s arms, listening wide-eyed to Sergei’s stories of his time in the Navy.
It was Sergei Kazansky who instilled in Tom a love of country, and the desire to serve.
Tom’s decision to join the Navy and attend Annapolis was what drove a final wedge between Tom and his father, who detested the military for taking his father, Sergei, from him, in more ways than one, both physically, and emotionally, Sergei not knowing back then how to handle his trauma.
It was his grandfather who pinned the Lieutenant Junior Grade bars on his uniform, and Tom will never admit it, but he had tears in his eyes when Sergei embraced him and whispered in his ear, “Я так горжусь тобой, Томас,” words his own father never said to him.
It broke his heart when Sergei died of lung cancer three months before he was slated to attend TOPGUN.
But his memories and the lessons his Dedushka taught him would stay with him forever.
Most people would never assume that Tom “Iceman” Kazansky would have an artistic bone in his body, but they would be absolutely wrong.
One of Tom’s best kept secrets was that he is a very accomplished pianist.
He was taught by his mother, Yelena, how to play the piano, and music ran in her family, her own father, Oleg, having been a violinist with the USSR State Symphony Orchestra, before his defection to America.
Tom’s fondest memories of his mother are of afternoons spent with Yelena teaching him to play the piano, after dragging him from his homework, which enabled him to play Chopin at twelve, followed by the two of them listening to recordings of classical music, some of them featuring his grandfather Oleg’s playing, his father’s long hours at work enabling this time away from studying without censure.
One of his most prized possessions is a vinyl record which he inherited from his mother, of Shostakovich’s “Leningrad Symphony”, where his grandfather Oleg can be heard playing second chair violin.
In general, Tom’s favorite pieces to play are Chopin, but depending on his mood, what he plays varies.
When he’s at his most neurotic, Bach comes easier, the precision required to play those pieces giving his mind something to fixate on.
When he’s upset or angry, he hammers away at Scriabin, and some pieces of Rachmaninov, like “Prelude in G Minor (Op. 23 No. 5)” and “Prelude in C Sharp Minor (Op. 3 No. 2)” and Beethoven’s “Piano Sonata No. 8 in C Minor (Pathétique)”.
When he’s feeling a little drifty, he goes for Satie and Debussy, or “The Lark” by Glinka and Balakirev.
When he’s happy, Chopin’s “Heroic” polonaise is a must.
When he’s lonely, Chopin’s “Nocturne No. 20 in C Sharp Minor (Posthumous)” is a standby, because of how it reminds him there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
He’s proud to say he can play his dream piece from his early high school years, Liszt’s transcription of “La Campanella”, though he still thinks he can get it just a little bit faster.
His most recent dream pieces are Rachmaninov’s “Piano Concerto No. 2”, and Liszt’s “Rondo Fantastique (El Contrabandista)”.
It’s because of him that Bradley is as good a pianist as he is, having been the Baby Goose’s teacher on the instrument.
He wishes Bradley would show off the classical pieces he knows more than his rendition—great as it is—of “Great Balls of Fire”.
Family has shaped Thomas Kazansky for better and for worse—there are still days he can hear his father telling him an A- wasn’t going to get him into any half decent Ivy League, or that he had to try harder, that his best needed to be better, and those are the days he plays Bach, or Scriabin, Rachmaninov, and Beethoven—but it was also what made him who he was, what led him to what he loves doing, and what led him to the family he chose.
Taglist
@valmare
@callsign-skydancer
@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88
@tadomikiku
If you’d like to join my taglist, just send me an ask!
#i wrote this instead of sleeping#please be kind#bahaha 🤣#top gun#top gun headcanon#top gun headcanons#tom iceman kazansky#tom kazansky
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Present Mic Boyfriend Headcanons
The type to fall fast and hard. He originally dates around a lot, and though it's deceptively casual-- He's truly sincere and puts 100% of his heart into it. Unfortunately for him, this means that he's had his heart broken A LOT because the fire burns out a little bit too quickly.
Cries to Aizawa and Midnight every single time he gets dumped. Thankfully, after he cries it out enough, he's pretty normal most of the time unless the relationship gets very very serious. Your first fight-- not even an actual break up-- he was face down on his couch for an hour on speaker with the two of them.
READMORE FOR LENGTH AND MILD SPOILERS
More of a phone boyfriend at first than anything at first. Not by choice, but because he's juggling hero work, his teaching job, and his late night radio gig. It's because of this that a lot of his relationships have fallen through-- he's very much "My work, my music, and you are all equally important to me!" You have to be good about having time apart or your dates being him drowsing off on the couch while listening to your day.
Even if he can't physically be there for you as much as he'd love to, he is still very affectionate and loves to blow up your phone with stuff that he's seen during the day, things that reminded him of you, or even just that he missed you and wanted to hear your voice.
Because he's always on the go, he likes stay at home dates the best. His place is a verified bachelor pad-- lots of vinyls, kind of impractical furniture, big ass entertainment center-- all sorts of things. It's nice when he gets to be able to enjoy these things and maybe make things a bit more lived in. If you leave stuff at his place like a blanket or a jacket, it's his favorite thing to make his house feel like home.
Brags to you to all his friends, family, coworkers. Guy on the bus he just met. Don't be afraid if you get introduced to his friends and they all know much more about you than you probably thought they would. It's a little embarrassing, honestly, but it's also sweet. Aizawa requests you ask him to "shut up about his lovey-dovey-sweetie-honey-pie bullshit during work hours." You half think it's a joke but he is very clearly not laughing.
Gets very quiet when he's being serious and sincere with how he feels about you and where he wants the relationship to go. His signature smile is still there, but it's just a little bit self-consciousness and a sense of true openness to his expressions. He knows he can be a little bit much-- most people have told him so-- but he wants you to know he'll only ever ask for whatever you can give in return. You don't need to do what he does, just keep being you, being his, and that's enough.
"I know I say this about a hundred times a day, but I really am in love with you. I want this to be a forever thing, no curtain calls."
Mic doesn't like to talk about the Shirakumo Incident much more than Aizawa does, but he is much more open to getting it all out and in the open to process it. He blames himself a lot for feeling like he contributed to the blasts, the power that killed Shirakumo...for not getting there in time and he feels a lot of responsibility towards Aizawa to make sure he takes care of himself and not blame himself for Shirakumo's death. It weighs on him more than he can say because it's a trauma that doesn't belong to just him, but Aizawa pretty adamantly refuses to ever bring it up.
After the hospital incident, he panda-clings to you for a good long while and just…is silent. Just breathes and listens to your combined heartbeat and focuses on the feeling of your arms around his shoulders and occasionally combing through his hair.
You being there for him when the Kurogiri reveal is one of the grandest gestures he could have asked for. Mic is always the strong one when it comes to this: he has to smile and be the funny one, the boulder that keeps everyone together now that Shirakumo is gone. You allowing him to simply relax and be makes him love you just so much more. He can finally fully feel and accept that grief, and vows to do the same to support you in whatever comes your way. He's definitely gonna protect you, his students, and his happiness this time.
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#present mic x reader#hizashi yamada x reader#present mic headcanons#gender neutral reader
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tag memes
thank you for tagging me in both of these, @elevenelvenswords!!
no pressure tags for @meadowlarkx @imakemywings @theghostinthemargins @jouissants @welcomingdisaster. do either or both or neither!
meme #1
Favourite colour: Pink! I even have in my tinder bio that whoever matches me better be cool with my pink obsession hahaha
Last song: Walk Like This by FLO (eleven, this is like the ultimate celegorome song to me hahaha... if you listen you'll see why :'))
Last movie/TV show: I'm partway through Princess Kaguya
Next on my watch list: Azur and Asmar, it looks so pretty!
Last game: I don't play video games :(
Sweet/savoury/spicy: These questions are hard for me because I don't think you can have any without the other, a balance of all three is ideal
Relationship status: Single, online dating casually
Last online search: Chappell Roan vinyl. It was sold out :(
Current obsession: Pole is definitely taking over my life a bit atm. I really want to find the time to learn aerial hoop too.
Greatest flaw: I have a very addictive and obsessive personality. Right now I'm basically constantly tightrope walking being a workaholic and a shopaholic at the same time :')
~~~
meme #2
Are you named after anyone?
My middle name is the name of the woman who set my parents up on a blind date!
2. When was the last time you cried?
Can't remember! I'm feeling pretty good lately.
3. Do you have kids?
No, but I'd like to.
4. What sports do you play/have played?
I'm an intermediate-level pole dancer right now and I want to try out more aerial arts, it's just a matter of finding the time.
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Daily.
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Their attitude.
7. What's your eye colour?
Brown.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
It really depends what I'm feeling at the time tbh! Though I have to be in a certain mood for totally tragic endings.
9. Any talents?
People tell me I'm a lot physically stronger than I look. Also dancing in heels.
10. Where were you born?
North of England. Related to the "use sarcasm every day" point above.
11. What are your hobbies?
Pole dancing as mentioned, flexibility, reading, writing (when I can...), vinyl collecting, cooking and baking, konmari, doing those adult therapeutic colouring books. Also certain reddit snark subs.
12. Do you have any pets?
My parents have a dog back at home. She might be the dumbest animal in the universe but we love her.
13. How tall are you?
166 cm / 5'5 ft
14. Favourite subject(s) in school?
I despised school lmao. But I liked geography and sociology.
15. Dream job?
We said dream, so professional pole performer or conflict journalist.
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Not to bring up the variants discourse again but I just got an email from Conan Gray showing a full 9 different vinyl variants for his upcoming album. Only two of them have different covers, the rest are just different colors and exclusive for different retailers. As far as I can tell, there is nothing else that comes with the variants and no extra tracks on them. Personally, I prefer how Taylor did it with tortured poets because I feel like it is actually worth it to get the different covers when they come with stuff like the collectors editions and you get the different bonus tracks. Like it doesn’t feel as much like you’re just buying the same thing four different times, you know what I mean?
If we’re in a market where everyone is doing variants anyways, it just feels like the way Taylor does them is more for the fan, if you know what I mean? Idk if I’m explaining this well but like if the capitalist hellscape has made music like this anyways then it’s feeling like she’s the one still putting care into the fan experience side of it
this is my exact point every time I talk about this!!!! I can't believe people act like it's new when she does it. i don't know why people can't just be normal about it, either - like, when folklore was announced, I picked the cover that I thought was the prettiest and I ordered that one, and that was it! I assume it's the same when artists come out with multiple color variants with no other difference.
I agree that the different bonus tracks are supposed to be just giving us more - and it's actually sad, because if Taylor wasn't The Biggest Thing On This Planet / we weren't in the age of the internet etc, the different tracks per album would be cool bonuses, not something you EXPECT. I have heaps of CD's from when I was younger that are special editions and have hidden tracks on them (for those who are younger, a "hidden track" is when the last track on a tape or CD has 5+ minutes of silence after, and then a new song plays but it's attached to the audio file of the final song. so the CD player doesn't know about it and you can't skip to it). I saw it as an exciting surprise, rather than more content that was part of the album and I DESERVED to be able to gobble up. I think coming from that era just like me, Taylor sees it the same way I do; an exciting thing for us and ways to give us bonuses. (with capitalist benefits, obviously, but I truly don't believe that's the main MO)
I also think a lack of media literacy ties into it: people seem to not be realizing that you don't have to BUY every CD in order to listen to all the songs? like that shit will be online and downloadable within 3 hours of physicals being in stores. I see it predominantly in Facebook groups, but it blows my mind that it seems like so many people don't grasp that.
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thought on the taylor swift vinyls:
I want to preface this by saying that i’m relatively new to vinyl collecting, and I try to buy secondhand or recycled vinyls because they’re better for the environment so my collection is very small, with a few new ones big mainly vintage.
I bought the 1st variant of the tortured poets department and i’m happy I did, but the more I think about it the less I think it was a good purchase. it was expensive, including shipping, and I don’t know if the other variants are exclusive to this drop or will be released like the midnights and 1989 variants. it irks me to think that the only chance I had to buy these variants with vinyl exclusive tracks was in that moment. it feels like a bit of a waste of money to buy them all, only for them to become available on steaming later, or for them to be never available on streaming forcing people to buy the vinyls. they’re reasonably priced for vinyls, but still expensive with shipping.
this isn’t just an issue I have with taylor swift, as olivia roderigo has done the same with her guts album, with the hidden track obsessed. I find it very frustrating that we can’t listen to that song legally without paying £30+ for a colourful plastic disc. it’s crazy to me that that’s a common thing in the music industry.
I started collecting vinyl to listen to my favourite albums without being dependant on smart devices and because I had received a huge parcel of vintage vinyls from an elderly neighbour. I did not start collecting vinyls because I wanted all the shiny new plastic disks that would just sit in a shelf, and I hate that it’s the expectation now.
I love the sound and feel of vinyl, but I do wish I had started collecting CDs instead. they’re a much cheaper option for owning physical copies of music.
I also feel that her vinyl variants are quite boring. ie: the black dog variant. it is just a simple black vinyl, yet it’s being marketed as a rare collectible. the same can be said for other vinyls. I have the mahogany midnights vinyl and it’s kind of boring. no poster, simple colouring and not even the vault tracks. the truth is: it’s not a vinyl I spin often.
my favourite from my taylor swift vinyls is definitely reputation, as it’s the only one that was available in my country and the picture discs are beautiful. the tracks are all good and the inner sleeves are really nice. I do wish it had come with a poster or something fun to display, like CDs do.
(note on posters: many of the vintage vinyls I have came with posters, so I thought it was a expectation. I was disappointed when I found out it wasn’t and I still really wish it was.)
anyways I really don’t like how vinyls are being treated as cheap collectibles instead of unique and long-term ways of owning physical copies of music. what do you guys think?
#vinyl records#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#ttpd#tortured poets department#taylor swift vinyl#vinyl collector#gaylor
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As we advance to the future & technology, we must remind ourselves of the importance of physical media. Sure, our phones may have everything we need but, the experience of listening to a playlist on spotify or something is not the same as listening to the radio & having the joyous surprise of your favorite song coming on.
Reading a story on a phone, computer, tablet or a kindle is not the same as going to a library & being able to hold a book & hearing the sound of the paper as you flip through the pages & catching the smell of the ink from the pages. (Also physical libraries are important & we should do whatever we can to keep them around & standing)
There is something so... visceral.?? about holding any type of physical media; at least for me. There's a certain feeling I get when I'm able to pick up a vinyl & being able to place the record nettle on it for it to play. There's a certain feeling I get when I pop in a DVD or a VHS tape in the player & hearing that click & whirring of the machine as it starts up.
And I know there's a few other people out there that even somewhat sort of feel the same way. Sure, it may be the nostalgia & the memories associated with the time & era I grew up in but, I feel like there's something else to it as well.
I remember when I was actually really getting into writing & I think I asked my ma for a typewriter, just because I liked the tactile feeling of the sound & the keys. A while later, I completely forgot about my request & she had given me one as a gift. It was a 1920's-1930-ish metal typewriter; one of the fancy portable ones, too. One of the ones that had its owna little case.
I could tell it was genuine too, because of how worn the case was & how some of the painted letters of the label & keys were still wearing off, too. It has seen better days but it still worked, regardless. I absolutely loved it. From the sound of the keys when I typed to the *ting* noise when it hits the end of a sentence or paragraph.
'Course, though as old as my "caretakers" were, they didn't understand why it was given to me when I had a computer that "worked just fine" or why I liked it in the first place. All that they knew was that it was loud & annoying & a gift from someone they hated with an unwarranted & unnecessary burning passion. So when they took me on a forced vacation they made me take it with me only to make me give it up. They probably had thrown it away by now.
What I'm trying to say is while, yes we have all those thing digital within our computers and phones, still have physical media is important not only for its own experience but, for the history behind it & what it teaches us about what life was like and how people lived &, what lead us to what we have now. At least from my own perspective and experience, growing up with those old things taught me patience. & to end this might as well be an essay, at least a typewriter doesn't crash ever five minutes.
#I was bored and this is what I thought of to write#I think I got the point I was trying to make across but; honestly I lost myself halfway through too lol#writing
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15, 26, 32 for the writer asks! :3
Sorry it took so long to answer, but I've really been chewing on the line that has stuck with me and I may have gone a little overboard.
15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?
Yes, I write in the margins as well as underline/highlight phrases that stick out. I used to dog-ear pages, but I now have plenty of bookmarks that I regularly use. I read in the bath and at the pool. I do not judge people who do these things. Yes, let's be friends 💌
26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?
Getting in: Firstly, I'll listen to voice lines, read related canon material. I'll emulate their gestures, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Act them out.
Next, Disco Elysium skills helped out with this one a bit because it really helps to pick apart a character's inner dialogue and mind map. What are the strengths and weaknesses in their intellect, psyche, physique, and motorics? How do they play off each other? How do they clash?
I'll use a grounding technique to settle into my setting: Identifying 5 things said character can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste.Try to fit into their skin, try to imagine thinking like them.
From there, I try to imagine the emotion they both are trying to convey and conceal. What are they feeling? How do they respond to physical touch? What burdens them? What spark drives them forward? What do they fear most? What do they crave most? If they're in a position of power, how do they maintain control?
Getting out: Crafting something with my hands. Going for a long walk outside. Making a warm cup of tea. Listening to some vinyls. Essentially, separating myself from the character and it's associated media.
Regret: Oh, but of course…
32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?
This will not just be a single line. The entire chapter might have been able to exist outside of the story. It feels like a painting, which is fitting given the context of the chapter.
Excerpt from Chapter 15 of Kinesthetic by littlewhitemouse
Noriaki had been lying to himself when he said, if he had ever said, that he had been ‘corrupted’ by anything.
The concept that an outside force can create something inside you that is not already there is a self-deception. Intensify, curate, encourage, maybe alter, but not create. Corruption as a noun is inherent, necessarily pre-existing; corruption as a verb can only be self-directed.
Were Noriaki to explicate his realization of his inherent corruption, he would like to start with his taste in art. Not that that is necessarily the best way to tell the story, but that is what he would like.
.
The stranger was silent. Trying to quash irrational nervousness but not quite managing to keep his curiosity at bay, he looked up at him, turned his neck to gaze up at his height, like he was turning to the sky.
He was staring wordlessly at him, his lips slightly parted. Stilled and subtle, something turned his face soft and white, like satin. He saw with eerie curiosity that it seemed like that face almost didn’t fit him, as if he were wearing a fantastically articulate mask. It seemed as if, almost, he floated above his body, his pale face unnaturally pure and light, an angelic visage coming out of the darkness.
“…Who sent you?” asked the stranger.
Noriaki’s heart suddenly started up. The strangeness of the situation. The surreal, patchwork miasma surrounding the whole situation, a new life starting in a room of graves. What was he saying?
“I came here myself,” he told him.
A smile spread on his face like a slash of pale yellow watercolor paint, splitting the red waters of his lips on either side.
“But you shall not leave that way,” he said, solemn conviction, and he lifted his arm for Noriaki to grasp.
“Shall we?”
It was as though he was watching something that should not move extend its clutching hand to him; Lucifer of Liège lifting high his crown and whip. With no manners, no bow or placating grin, he asked him, “Shall we what?”
The only change in the strange stillness of the man’s unearthly pose was his smile spreading into his glittering eyes, which he hadn’t noticed weren’t smiling before.
“Go.”
I found this fic when I was first reexploring fanfiction. I was really into Jotaro/Kakyoin because of the angst and tragedy. This fic… was different. It was written with a very train-of-thought, loose prose, synesthesia-esque, textural repetition, language of the mind style. In many ways, I kept reading because I couldn’t look away?
This fic was a formative experience, highlighted by chapter 15 in particular. An analysis of corruption. An ode to historical dark art. The formation of taste for the macabre and grotesque. The exploration of how that shapes one's inner landscape. And furthermore, what another can do to exploit, abuse, and manipulate those feelings. The temptation to interact with a mysterious force that ultimately expects complete and violent devotion.
I think this fic is what relaunched my love for art, for museums, for history. I feel in many ways it was the first thing that made something in my own mind click into place and begin processing both my love for dark art and fiction and the traumas that suppressed my ability to allow myself to enjoy it.
Each referenced piece of art has an attached link with the image, so as to pull you further into the visual scenery, the spiraling descent of this madness and trauma.
When I think of Dio’s “dubious sensuality”, I think of this scene. I think of the raw, defense-crumbling experience of meeting a powerful, influential force within the very setting that has shaped who you are as a person. Someone who you feel sees you exactly the way you wish to be seen and accepted. Noriaki never had a chance. Dio is a living, breathing sculpture that he can explore and in turn, be shaped by. His fault is in thinking he ever had control of the situation.
I love the character study this provides for Kakyoin. There is a violence, a viciousness, a cruelty that roils underneath his skin, independent of outside forces.
Knowing Kakyoin as he did now, knowing him to be self-controlled, conspicuous, patient, considerate, it was hard to even recall or explain the cruelty he possessed, not until and whenever he chose to display it again. And again, and again. Kakyoin was cruel on occasion, not as his rule, only when provoked, never without a defensible reason, but he was cruel. He was beat you to the brink of death cruel, but Jotaro understood that. He was also lick my heel and apologize for what you did cruel, which he didn’t understand.
He tries to hold it down, hide it away, in order to atone for his sins, his “corruption”, the horror of what Dio was able to convince him and, later, command him to do. There is an underlying bitterness to it all after the fact. This chapter, these lines, add context to why that is. How exactly Dio shaped him into a weapon. How after escaping and freeing his mind from Dio’s impulses, he recognizes that the cruelty still remains. Sculpted and sharpened. But ultimately, something he will be able to reclaim for himself in a healthier setting with proper reflection, character development, growth, and healing. There's something cathartic about the entire experience.
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Hi Cossette! I've been spending the last few days gathering some 2024 media releases that I hope to check out this year and I'm looking forward to (to name a few!):
Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett
A Tempest of Tea by Hafsah Faizal
The Mars House by Natasha Pulley
The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden
Faebound by Saara El-Arifi
and ooh! I'm also very intrigued about Allison Saft's upcoming adult debut!! I hope it will be good 🙏
I also prefer standalones! While there are times where I'd love to revisit my favourite worlduilding + characters, I tend to find the storytelling & character development more properly fleshed out within a standalone (comparing to books within a long series).
That's totally valid! It certainly took me some time to get into Alix E Harrow's writing - not that's it's poorly written (it's very artfully written), but it's pretty dense and the story pacing is on the slow side. Also as much as I enjoy taking notes / annotating beautifully written prose, I feel you effort required to analyse the writing 😅
Speaking of The Starless Sea, the aesthetic / vibes of the book reminds me of Taylor Swift's Midnights - very atmospheric and with a strong focus on storytelling. I've been meaning to make something showcasing parallels between songs from Midnights & sections of The Starless Sea since late 2022 (this was pushed back for various reasons), so I was very happy to post the edit today :D
If you could assign your favourite books as music albums (based on thematic / aesthetic similarities), how would you pair them up?
P.S. Yes!! I love the album & vinyl artwork for Kali Uchis' new album and I hope you have the chance to listen to Orquideas later this year! (and I hope you all the best with the 365 albums challenge 💖)
hi jennifer!!! i have an arc of a tempest of tea, but i don't know if i'll get around to it before publication date 😭 i'm really intrigued by the premise, but struggled a bit with the fantasy in we hunt the flame (i struggle a lot with fantasy/have to be in a very specific mood for it)! i haven't read any of katherine arden's stuff, but have seen a lot of it on the internet over the years; maybe i'll check it out!
i feel like a common question i see on bookstagram is "what's your favorite series" and i always struggle to answer this because i am just not a series girlie! i think the few favorite series that i love (that aren't duologies) are probably either the raven cycle, or series of romance books that are set in the same universe but follow different characters so they essentially operate as standalones! i wish i was a series girlie, but i just ... am not one. i actually just put alix harrow's ten thousand doors of january on hold on libby — it might work better for me as an audiobook! sometimes i do better with fantasy via audiobook than physically reading it, for some reason.
i saw your starless sea/midnights gifset and am obsessed. i know i've told you this before but i loveeeee your gifsets so much, especially the ones where you find parallels between things!
oh this is so hard! i feel like it's easier to assign specific songs for me, rather than entire albums to books, but here goes:
beach read: honorable mention to emails i can't send by sabrina carpenter (title track) for january's relationship with her father, but unsure of what album would fit january/gus best!
normal people: i think either sam fender's seventeen going under, or noah kahan's stick season? i think both albums have a similar theme of being homesick and also home sick, which i feel like plays a big role in the plot of normal people!
honey girl: i feel like paint my bedroom black by holly humberstone? like the themes of growing up / moving away / being lonely / figuring out your life?
the starless sea: maybeeeee evermore but this does not feel like a good fit to me still!
les miserables: ... going to cheat here and say the les mis cast recording
i'm still stuck on portrait of a thief, and book lovers though! what about you? what book/album pairings do you have in mind?
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It's kinda weird how the 90's is being kept alive by random aesthetic pics that are all about computers and how big and clunky they used to be. And there's photos, always more photos, more visuals.
And what I miss is the sounds. The soundscape of VHS and rotary phones ofc, but also music.
And hah, people who were used to LP's back then would probably laugh at my nostalgia for the "clack clack" of browsing CD's since vinyl's only made a faint "flap flap" sound but vinyl at least has made a comeback.
So I'm listening to The Crow soundtrack from Spotify even though I do own the actual physical album. It was in fact the first movie soundtrack I ever bought.
But I also don't have a machine that can read laser discs anymore. It's kinda funny because I've held on to my CD collection and even bought new ones but I have nothing to play them on. Haven't had in years. I just buy physical media to keep it safe, I guess.
I also keep buying books but at least I can open them and read the words. I sometimes don't know why I keep buying music as physical media, even though I know services keep changing and going down. I I know they do and I've experienced it but it's still not the reason I buy CD's still.
Maybe I should buy an old deck and experience the entire thing again, with pushing a button to open the disc player, insert the CD, close the lid, push play and wait, while hearing the faint "whirrrr" and the first track start playing. And exactly the first track, not the one I like and want to hear.
Or I'm just feeling nostalgic for wrong things.
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The other day I realized I hadn't done a top ten albums of the year list for the past 7 years, and this felt like the perfect year to remedy that. There was so much good music that came out this year, sitting back and taking a look at all of it was a bit overwhelming. I'm sure there's something I missed, but i started with 58 albums, narrowed that down to 16 using a rating system, and from those I found my top 10. And so without further ado, I present my list of the top 10 albums of 2023.
10. Nothing But Thieves-Dead Club City With a great alt/indie rock vibe, this album will keep a smile on your face from start to finish. From smooth tunes reminiscent of the early 80s, to harder deep bass sounds of the 2010s, this album is sure to bring some joy to your eardrums.
my top 3 songs-Welcome To The DCC, Do You Love Me Yet?, Foreign Language
9. Boys Like Girls-Sunday At Foxwoods So although I was aware of their existence, I am not someone who really listened to Boys Like Girls until like....3 months ago. But that means I approached this album with no judgement and no expectations. A fresh perspective. And I really like this album. The songs are modern, peppy, and fun, but they dance around the edge of angst. So even if, like me, you were previously unfamiliar with this band, I think you'd find it easily enjoyable.
my top 3 songs-The Outside, Blood and Sugar, Physical
8. Sleep Token-Take Me Back To Eden I think Sleep Token has been on a lot of people's music radars this year, it was this way that I originally found them. Imagine my surprise when I learned they are a 'progressive metal' band. I haven't listened to a ton of their previous work, but aside from one song on this album (that I always skip) the music is deep, melodic, and beautiful. The lead singer has a haunting and soothing tone, I would definitely recommend giving them a listen (just remember to skip song #5)
my top 3 songs-DYWTYLM, Ascensionism, Aqua Regia
7. FIZZ-The Secret To Life FIZZ is a group made up of 4 seperately successful solo artists (including my personal favorite, Dodie Clark) who have joined together to create a fabulous sound that harkens to movie soundtracks of the 90s, with a dash of flower-power and a sprinkle of queer angst. FIZZ is definitely bringing something different to the floor that I don't hear in a lot of modern bands. A bright sparkling sound that grabs your attention and
my top 3 songs-The Grand Finale, Close One, You Me Lonely
6. Niall Horan-The Show Ok, I do have to say, this album is no Heartbreak Weather (the best Niall album imo) but it's still a great album. I love listening to Niall because he feels like one of those people who will still be doing shows when he's 60 and these songs will be considered classics. These songs make me feel like it's 1974, I'm dancing in my living room, and this album is of course playing on vinyl. Everyone from your little brother to your grandma will enjoy this (even if they won't admit it).
my top 3 songs-Save My Life, Heaven, Must Be Love
5. The Rose-Dual Sadly I missed their show this year, but I always always adore a Rose album. Woosung's vocals are top tier, the blend of genres, and for those of you too scared to listen to Korean music, no worries, all the songs are in English. One of my favorite things about The Rose is the way they sound on their albums is the way they sound in person, and after listening to them for a few years I see so much growth in their music and it's so good.
my top 3 songs-Back To Me, Alive, Wonder
4. No Frills Twins-Aquarius Not surprised if none of you know who this is, but this awesome Australian duo has been on my radar for close to 12 years now. This is actually their first full album and it's about time! Their unique sound and vocals are like nothing you're hearing in mainstream music today or yesterday either. If you need a full emotional escape, this is the album for you.
my top 3 songs-Golden, Heartbreak City, Soft Porn
3. Maisie Peters-The Good Witch What an adorable human being! British singer/songwriter Maisie Peters should be your new favorite, because she certainly is mine. With an ethereal voice and thought-provoking song lyrics, you truly feel like she is telling you a story. I love how each songs has a lovely spritely feeling and Maisie's sweet voice provides you a delightful experience. Recommend if you want some joy in your music.
my top 3 songs-The Good Witch, BSC, History of Man
2. Hozier-Unreal Unearth Oh what can I say about Hozier that hasn't already been said. This album is a theraputic escape. The music is deep and orchestral and gathers you in a warm dark place. I absolutely love that the songs are inspired by Dante's Inferno, music inspired by literature are some of my favorites. I love combining two forms of art. I feel like I don't need to tell you to listen to this album, because you're smart, you've done it. But if you haven't, we all need to cry in car at some point.
my top 3 songs-I Carrion, Unknown/Nth, Damage Gets Done
Honorable mentions-Carly Rae Jepsen "The Loveliest Time", Raye "21st Century Blues", Jungkook "Golden" , Ren "Sick Boi", Dreamfone "postMANIC" and finally...
1.Morgan Clae-Dreamboy If you're on TikTok you may have seen Morgan who went a bit viral for her audition of Poseidon in the EPIC musical. If you haven't, let me tell you, this album was a religious experience. I was stunned to the edge of stunning. Morgan's voice, music, and presence, holds such a beautiful power and she finds such perfect ways to express herself. Not often does an album truly leave me speechless. I implore you to listen to this artist.
my top 3 songs: The Break: Injury, The Hope, The Dream
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This is a little breakdown of chainsaw man chapter 137 and some themes and symbolism and meaning I believe are in there.
To start things off, there are a few Big themes I noticed in the song, Normalcy and Sexuality, which I will be going into through this post, a Drop note, is that Sexuality is why they got to the building while Normalcy is why they even met in the first place.
Now we go to the first lyrics of the song which I will call the Sex Scramble. The Sex Scramble feels like it has a shared symbolism to me, it's Denji's dream of a Relationship and how it's been warped and twisted by his trauma and about how it appears as unintelligible to someone without an understanding of who he is as a person and what he's gone through.
"That girl's got rock'n'roll! Rip off her pantyhose! Vavoom! See-through body exposed" this one is referring to how women are so frequently sexualised in media, you could also say it's about how when you're famous every dirty little secret is dug up and brought to the limelight and scrutinised under a magnifying glass, it also could be an Asa reference since Denji did see her without her school uniform while fighting Yuko, also vavoom is a chainsaw sound.
"You stalkers can't deny your kinky pleasures, now its time to mosh together!" This verse refers to the public at large, becoming absolutely obsessed with the target of their Gaze, becoming an unending love or Hate machine but regardless feeling the overwhelming urge to know absolutely everything about this new celebrity.
"Vinyl! Vinyl! Vinyl! Vinyl!" a Vinyl is a format of Analogue Sound Recording which was held in a Vinyl Album, an Echo of a song that isn't really being played, a form of Entertainment Media which is a theme that's present in this part of csm, the idea of a Fictional yet idealised state, which is what Normalcy told to be to Denji.
"SEX" same meaning as the Sex Scramble.
"5xAluminium! a looming meaning of Rock!" Something looming is something growing bigger as it approaches, symbolising all those things, possibly referring to the crushing fate coming for Denji.
"Bitch-you! Get-you! Middle-aged Slashers, The old-timer crew!" The first half of the chorus, Bitch is a term for female dog, so essentially this verse calls Denji a Dog who's been leashed by "the old-timer crew" who are the people at the top, since most of the positions of high power are frequently held by the elderly and those of old money, they are trying to leash Denji once again to their whims and the whims of society as a whole.
"On their deathbeds the whole year through! Livin' outta diners cuz they're laid off too!" The second half of the chorus, this one's about how living the constant 9-5 instead of being living for yourself will crush you and leave you a walking corpse that does nothing but listen to the boss and work, They have become walking corpse, the mindless zombies Denji is fighting off on a physical and metaphorical level, notice as well that they're literally lining up to try and kill Denji, They don't even have the individuality to run for it, only mindlessly lining up to fight and Die, exactly what's waiting for them at the end of the constant grind. They're living out of diners because they've completely given up on themselves and only live to work.
"A slender waisted Masterpiece! Salons and Host Clubs! Forever have a place!" I feel like this refers to how people in the limelight will always have to make themselves look like they're at their best constantly, leading to those in the limelight feeling like a dress up doll, I believe this sentiment would be especially aimed at women in media but it also applies in general.
"Support-Stress! Job-Stress! Males and Females, that's the eternal race!" This one referring to the constant stress of working the 9-5 and even being able to survive in the modern world, the constant race for survival in a dog eat dog world.
"Justice-game! Lust-slave! Uncontrollable desire!" The pulling between Denji wanting to be the Hero of Justice for the people, wanting to enter a relationship with another and fulfilling his own desires. Note that Desire doesn't nessecarily mean sexual things and Lust can mean an overwhelming desire or craving but is frequently shown as being Horny, like how Denji shows his dream of finding love.
"The Suitcase holds the rope, ductape and a box cutter" This part of the song also ties into the theme of Normalcy, The suitcase being the typical container for your things in a workplace environment, now it holds a Rope, Ductape and a Boxcutter, Rope is commonly used to commit suicide, Boxcutter is frequently used in self harm and Ductape holds things together and keep them in place, this could be a metaphor about how Normalcy only leads to painful stagnation which will kill you as a person husk, a mindless zombie, something that Denji is resisting while the song plays, symbolising his resistance to this fate.
After slaughtering the attackers, Denji is seen smiling for the first time in a while and says "You aren't gonna sing the second verse?" Him smiling being due to the fact that he's finally gotten the chance to be unabashedly himself, being free to fight for the first time in a long time, free of the constraints forced upon him by others, the basic desire for freedom that he's wanted from childhood.
Also on the last page, Instead of Continuing to sing, a performance and form of entertainment, S.A girl chooses to fight Denji herself, joining the bloody real world and outright saying that it's more fun, reaffirming the idea idea Denji, someone who is insane and refuses Normalcy unless forced upon him by outside forces, is healthier when allowed to live as he truly is and not in the vague and unrealistic idea of Normalcy.
Ultimately this is just what I've seen, Remember to be nice and have a good day/night wherever you are.
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