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ganondoodle · 2 years

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Hey, I adore your artstyle mate, I loveeee all the vivid colors and the fact that most of it lacks lines?? You doing the hard stuff, but it paying off 💜

can I ask, as I’d like to get into comic making, how long does it take you to finish a a single panel?

Hi!! thank you very much!! drawing lineart is incredibly frustrating to me so im very glad i was able to make the jump to mostly lineless artwork, tho im very much still at the beginning to learn how to do it xD

to answer your question, i .. cant say really, it depends on what is on the panel, and i always jump around when working on a page, i draw half of the very last panel, then jump to another, maybe i see something i want to change right away and work on the third besides i ... dont know anything about panel composition, i think in movies so i play it and try to pause it on a frame that could work as a panel, whichs is probably why it goes alot slower than normal comics, idk how much to skip gndfjknvgfdjk

im by no means an expert in making comics, you kinda have to find your own way of what works for you, i have done many in the past but all failed, i gave up before getting even one chapter done many times

general advice i can give you is, most importantly, dont wait, i know its daunting to start, but you have to start, even if you dont think you are good enough, you will always change and improve anyway, better start now or you might do it never, and remember, when a page is done its done, i know how tempting it is to go back and redo it, but if you start with that it will only lead to an endless cycle of remaking it over and over

a cause that made me abandon my old projects, was partly lack of support/recognition, but mostly that i was forcing myself to things that werent fun, like one i made in black and white bc i thought you had to do it bc color takes too long, but i live for colors, so it drained the fun out of it immediately

the only "rules" i have set for myself is that its understandable, the flow of the action doesnt flip around too much, speech bubbles are aligned in a way that guides you (of course im not perfect at that either and always learn); i dont jump between pages, i jump between working on panels, but i dont start another page before the previous is at least acceptable, otherwise id get ahead of myself and get impatient, just wanting to skip ahead and neglect older pages; and that i only work on a panel/page as long as it has acceptable quality and is fun to draw, when i notice im getting bored or frustrated i finish it quickly as best as i can and move on, otherwise it might drag the entire project down, which is why each panel or page in 'Destiny' varies alot in quality

i can barely look at the first pages .. or even at the last one i made for that matter, but its also fascinating, how much my art changes within even one update which takes me about a month for 4 pages, since i have set my 'fun' rules at least, it used to take much longer (i wish i was faster, and i could be, but i have a job, and have to look out for my health, both physically and mentally, so i take whatever time i need and draw however much i feel like drawing, no rushing)

my progress so far is that i write a rough script, what happens, what dialog, where it ends, and so on, it doesnt have to sound good, god knows mine are shitty xD but its a good guideline, even if rough! then i make a rough draft, basic panel layout, dialog (it always changes fro mthe script, again its more liek a guideline than a rule ;) ) then i start with actually drawing the first page, my art and way of .. art and writing changes incredibly fast (idk if its for the better lol) so .. by that point i redraw the rough draft version of the page if i see how it works better, rewrite dialog too, and even cut stuff from the rough draft

im not done with the first chapter (im slow af lol), but wrote the script for the second one when my hand was injured and i couldnt draw for a month, once im done with this chapter i will draw the rough draft for ch2, then write the script for ch3 then go and draw ch2 fully, at least thats the plan the more time passes the more i know what the next chapters are gonna be, tho i know the important points long before; right now i have the entirety of the first arc sepeareted into chapters, and the end of it all too, but between there its still a lil blurry and im adjusting everytime i think of soemthing better

anyway, sorry for that long ass ramble, its late and i thoguht about this ask bc im trying to get my want to draw back (not feeling well rn nkfdnkd) so i randomly decided to answer it .. probably in the most unhelpful way possible, alot of stuff noone aksed for lol

anyway, sorry, and goodnight uwu

#ganondoodles answers #i hope i didnt sound too preachy #or soemthing #idk im not good at giving advice #..and my way of drawing changes so fast #whenever i explain sth it usualyl changes right afterwards #and man that feels shitty #like im lying to people #:(

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architects-hidden-archives · 1 year

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Solo Leveling Volume 1 and Manwha differences + other facts p.3

Ps: i am really sorry for this but apperantly I had almost skipped the whole intro of the lizards arc which is the last chapter of vol 1. So Ill be doing it in this blog which are chapters 17-22

*chapters 18-23 in manwha*

Index:

Things or facts not mentioned in the Manwha

Skipped scene

■ Added in the Manwha.

◇Change from the Manwha.

The umbrella given to Jin Ah as sheh headed to school was the one given to Jin Woo by the system for completing the daily tasks.

“Do guys continue to grow taller even in their twenties?”- Jin Ah

Did jin woo grow up a lot to be noticable or nah?

(He is stated to be 183cm at his sudden change, and 177cm before the whole change by the system, and no i have no idea who made up the fact that he grows one cm or one inch per quest or 1 mm per level up, that weird as fuk.)

source: from reddit bc i couldn't find it in kakao

Anyways he did grow but not enough to be as noticable as it might be to grow, like, 20 cm or 10cm

Jin Woo does get to discover a lot of the things in his meantime, so its a wild guess card as to how long it takes him but he does his research at least for the entire 4 days he has rested.

Hunters ranked S or A could get sponsorships, shoot commercials, make appearances in TV shows and the like to hoover up a lot of money, as much as some chaebols made, but their number was exceedingly few. (TL: Chaebols = owners of big corporations basically)

◇Just a scene change were Hwang dong suk is talking on his phone, the manwha still stays faithfully adapted to this point.

A small Jin Ho scene:

■ Hwang dong suk never said about the whole "dont pay attention to little things" as it was shown in the manwha.

◇ Jin Woo from the novel already was certain that Hwang Dong Suk was planning to kill him, unlike in the manwha where his suspicions were being dragged through the whole chapter.

Mister Oh retired from a life of freelancing hunting but used to show up now and then. He was the one to warn Jin Woo about the lizards, his name was only told in the LN.

Another small dialogue cut:

Yu Jin-Ho asked again, this time looking rather dumbfounded.

“Hyung, you want to hunt that thing? For real?”

Jin-Woo scratched the top of his head, looking somewhat troubled, before replying back with a question of his own.

“What, you want to hunt it, then?”

The spider’s legs stabbed and destroyed the ground so loudly that Jin Woo's ears actually felt numb from the pain, here is the full text.

The ‘Store: Buy’ function was available after Jin Woo's level reached 20.

Jin Woo heard stories of some monsters possessing two, three magic crystals. After slicing the beast open, there were remains of the insect beasts that the spider boss had eaten that still werent as dissolved and Jin Woo could use. We do see it a panel here but i think it would be better to add the context that Jin Woo was actually rummaging through the spiders body to find the magic crystals, and that some were dissolved, others half and others not so much.

■ Jin Woo never used the daily status healing unlike in the manwha.

#solo leveling #solo leveling light novel #I only level up #only i level up #sung jin woo #manwha #SL change catalogue by AHA #yoo jin ho #hwang dong suk

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underfalls-36 · 9 months

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taking the 👀 you tagged that one post with earlier as an invitation to go utterly insane in your askbox now . Okay . So.

Ducktales spoilers ahead obviously .

ijust . ford and della both had large parts to play in (but werent Entirely responsible for) the construction of the machines that led to them disappearing for a Long Long time shortly after arguing with thejr twin . god im so fuckig normal they wrre alone for so long im going to gnaw on a.brick THEY BOTH GOT BACK AT THE VERY END OF S2 E11 TOO YOU KNOW Hhhhhhhhh and immediately upon reuniting with their twin starting yelling wt eachother (but della and donald hugged right after and jt makes me soso sad that stan and ford didnt im hhhhh) also i dont know if youve seen the images of special edition of johrnal 3 (it comes up.easilg if you google) but if u have the . The fact that neither of them were able to even breathe properly during their time Not On Earth gets me. i dont know . also the very specific scenario of playing one of their favorite games that they are surprised is still around with their ~12 year old autistic hat wearing relative . Im so normal. you know im soso salty we didnt get much portal ford content della got a whole epsiode on what she was doing on the moon its even called Whatever Happened To Della Duck?! well i think ford shouldve gotten a Whatever Happened To Stanford Pines?! and i will forverr be salty that he didnt . we didnt get like ANYTHING like he couldve at least had a flashback yk?? and hhhhgh the way they were both briefly convinced their twins were Gone during the finales . same lighting in those scenes too i have a pre existing post on their parallels with some screenshots btw i need to reblog that . and Hhhhghhh . HhHGHhHzhH . I just

Do you udnerstamd

AND THE WAY THEY BOTH HAUNTED THE NARRATIVE FOR AN ENTIRE SEASON AND A HALF THE WHOLE OVERARCING MYSTERY BEING WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AND SUDDENLY THEYRE BACK AND EVERYONE IS FORCED TO COME TO TERMS WITH THAT. IM CHEWING ON CEMENT. THE REDEFINED FAMILY DYNAMICS. EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT NOW BECAUSE YOURE HERE AND WOW. NOBODY FIGURED THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS BUT YOURE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. SORRY IM NORMAL

FHSKnedhsjs bro

The connections

I wish we got to see more of portal Ford too

Would've loved that :(

#forever salty #bro if I had more free time I would probably start Ducktales #but i cant :(#it just seems so INETRESTING #:(#ask????#mah people #ducktales #gravity falls

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kenergized · 10 months

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🔥 emergency medicine

this was such a good topic to ask me honestly but i was so nervous cause i didnt want to waste my opportunity...

ems is weird bc it is both like an auxiliary to the police but also originated as a volunteer, community-driven service (i recently learned that being a career emt was unheard of in nj until relatively recently). and to be clear these arent diametrically opposing forces (after all, cops are also community oriented, but largely exist to define who is part of the protected community), but nonetheless theres a noticeable tension? to me at least?

like i recall a post going around that i believe declared that the first ambulance services in the US were established by black americans who rightly did not feel safe being escorted to the hospital by police. this is like half true; they werent the first ambulance service in the US but probably the first competent squad--it was the first to be staffed entirely by paramedics (this was a couple years before EMTs were invented. civilian ems is in its infancy). it is a really cool story. they didnt just create an all-black ambulance squad that helped disentangled the community from police aid, but they took (and i quote) "unemployables" and gave them a new opportunity to be paramedics.

this is such a far cry from the state of modern EMS and i could list a million examples why.... the fact is is basically standard protocol to have a cop on scene (in my state).... the treacherous ground that is "implied" consent.... the false choice of 'prison or hospital' for some patients ... it just makes me sad

................and that all being said, go learn some basic EMS if you can!!! take a CPR class! learn some bleeding control (its simple!!!! not easy necessarily but the principles are straightforward im linking a course but u can google this shit). learn how to recognize a stroke! look into improvising tourniquets and splinting and basic assessment skills. learn to take a pulse and blood pressure and what the baselines are for these values! its good stuff!

#⚕️#didnt even mention how like ems knowledge and tech is basically a big trickle down from the military

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millimononym · 2 years

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season 3 is inherently flawed(and a rewrite/how i would fix it)

warning:this post is LONG. like...really REALLY long. it took me so long to write that i think i genuinely lost my mind and patience half way through because of how angry i got so i kept writing more. you have been warned!also feel free to criticize and disagree.i'm not a writer,and i don't know if i articulate my thoughts in the best way,but i tried.

so most of us agree that s3 is def the worst season of Galactik Football, right? The art and animation got worse, the editing was weird, and because the original writers of the series werent involved, the entire season was written like absolute shit: everything goes way too fast or way to slow, the characters are all assasinated or just act like braindead robots who do things for no apparent reason(aka because the plot is incapable of being organic so it needs to FORCE its characters into doing things they would never do if they had 2 braincells...) etc etc. But something i often find brought up as a positive is the concept of the season(NOT the execution) but honestly....im not sure i agree.

the concept of the season is that because of this new tournament, players with any kind of flux are allowed to play in any team! Now this sounds cool on paper...but in execution? not really. and thats not just because s3 is incompetent.

I think this concept doesnt work because it has nothing to do with the snow kids. Theyre the main characters, they should get the focus. Every SK already has the breath of akillian and they care about each other very much,they also work very well together because of this, so they dont have a reason to recruit new people, especially ones with different kinds of flux. Now, theres a solution to this: the dreaded moment where a character(or multiple characters) decide to leave the team to make way for the new character. But theres also a problem with that: people dont like it when you replace beloved characters with new ones(especially ones as bland and uninteresting as Lun-zia). SO the solution to THAT would be to show what that last character was up to after they left,just like before,in the previous seasons. but then that doesnt fix anything AT ALL actually,because the problem of sharing screentime is still there. You see the problem? for every problem solved at least 3 more show up. You cant fix something that wasnt broken,aka the SK team.

the characters that leave the SK are Mei(shadows), Yuki(electras(a team that we never heard of before so theres also that)), and Djok(who joins Paradisia,the most basic,boring rivals and villains this series has ever had. they are actually so bland that the writers made them part robot to justify just how 1 dimensional all their decisions are). The 1 who joins the SK is Lun-zia, a basic,bland character with no personality who only serves as a way for the writers to introduce the 500th boring ass love drama that goes nowhere. wonderful. You would think that after they set up that idea earlier,and with how bland Lun-zia is,that they would at least do something interesting with the concept,right? WRONG. They do absolutely nothing interesting with the mix flux idea in every team. It might as well not have been there.

[The reason why mix flux teams arent allowed in the cup is very simple, everything makes sense because the world pre s3 made sense. A person can join any team they like,as long as they switch to the flux of the team they are joining because they will be representing THAT PLANET. Its also the reason why the pirates dont use flux even though they probably have it: they represent Shiloe, a place with no flux of it own. If they were to use the flux,they would be using a flux that another team already has and is using to represent THEIR planet. (OH and yet another thing about s3 that doesnt make sense , if the pirates can use the flux now, WHY DONT THEY?? jfc every time u think u hit rock bottom this season suprises u with how horribly thought out it is)]

this all isnt even MENTIONING the fact that the tournament was USELESS. actual time wasting for almost the entire season. Because later on, after Paradisia gets fucked, Harris(the ACTUAL villain that HAD setup unlike the generic,out of nowhere, dumbass, out of place oc that is “Lord Phoenix/Magnus Blade”(god thats such a stupid fucking name)) forces the flux society to hold the GFC 3 years early(cuz the cup takes place every 4 years and s3 is set a year after s2) AND THEY DO. so....WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE TOURNAMENT????!!!

I am actually going insane.this season is so bad. never have i seen such misuse of plot,worldbuilding,characters and setting. You have no idea how long this post is taking to write because as i keep writing i keep finding worse and worse things to say and keep coming to even more horrifying conclusions. its like a never ending pit, full of plot holes and ruined characters.Someone was paid to ruin this series.Let that sink in. But i think i will just give you a rewrite now. A basic fix that whatever lobotomite who wrote s3 couldnt be bothered with. Its very barebones so feel free to add on or tell me if its shit

HOW I WOULD FIX IT:

just drop the mix flux idea entirely. The cup would never allow it and in my universe the tournament wouldnt exist because it had no prior buildup and was completely useless. Instead of wasting time on that,empty romance subplots and annoying unfunny jokes, i would focus on the aspect of people leaving the team to join another that was never fleshed out. Also build up(in s3 Djok and Mei had their arguments basically off screen and the decision to leave was robotic and would absolutely never happen that fast, Also Yukis decision made no sense too and had no build up.)

The season would start with the GFC taking place 3 years early, everyone is confused and frustrated and unprepared. It would be a mystery until its revealed Harris blackmailed the flux society like he did in s3. Under the pressure, Djok would be an asshole which would then cause Mei to leave to join the shadows,albeit more slowly.Perhaps have her be manipulated/persuaded by Sinedd,he did always hang around people at their lowest points (Djok,Rocket).Plus i think Mei would be a lot more comfortable joining the shadows since she got used to coach Artegor in s2 which would help pursuade her. I always felt that the shadows should have gotten more focus for being the main rival team, and now we have a chance for that now that both Mei and Sinedd are there. Have the team interact! Show how Mei is adapting to the team/enviorment/flux. Also Mei and Sinedd dont need to date each other. Mei can be single,dammit.

Mei leaving because of Djok(and also dumping him) would be devestating to Djok as he can never admit to his wrongs. Yuki takes her place, but ultimately decides to leave because of the pressure and stress Djok is putting her in as well(in s2,he was being an asshole to her just for replacing Ahito while he was unwell,can you imagine how he would be if she were replacing his ex girlfirend instead?). Mark ends up taking the defense position and everyone, especially Micro Ice chew out Djok for one last time,telling him to stop being a selfish prick and that hes pushing everyone away(SERIOUSLY WE DONT NEED HIM TO LEARN THAT FOR THE FIFTH TIME). Rocket is the captain again because hes responsible.

We would focus a lot more on Yuki and Mei,as well as everyone dealing with the fact they will have to compete against their friends. Mei would be trying really hard to intergrate with the shadows even though she knows the smog is harmful to someone as emotional as her(maybe have her mom put pressure on her again because shes the defender in a new team which is bad for popularity,as well as Sinedd because hes just Like That.(yes,Mei is staying a defender in this.she has been established to be the best in defense and im not having Fulmugus pushed out of attacker position,hes still an attacker and captain)). Combine the stress of leaving her friends,breaking up with her bf,her mom putting pressure on her and joining a new team, and Mei is an emotional mess which isnt good because of the smog. Eventually she gives up and tells Sinedd (who she has formed a friendship with)as well s the rest of the team that she just cant deal with the smog and that she knows its bad for her,and that shes going back. Sinedd doesnt take this well because of his abandonment issues(i mean cmon...hes been abandoned by p much everyone except the shadows at this point) and basically starts a fight with her in the middle of traning. Sinedd blows up at her,calling her a coward and a quitter(because in his mind,the side effects dont matter,the most important thing is the tournament and he thinks shes using it as an excuse to abandon him) and Mei yells back at him that hes pushed everyone away just like Djok(OOO PARALLELS) which pisses Sinedd off more to the point where both of them are either on the verge of tears,or on the verge of fighting each other. The only thing holding them back is the other shadow players who have basically just been watching them like :0 this entire time. Thats when Artegor asks Mei if she wants to leave and go back to the SK. She says yes but doesnt know how to. Artegor gives her advice based on his own experiences(OOO PARALLELS EXCEPT WITH AARCH AND ARTEGOR THIS TIME). Mei would come back,but Djok is still cold towards her,except he regularly gets chewed out by the other SK for this which makes Mei feel better.

That entire yelling fit that happened with Sinedd would kick off his arc. That plot point in s2 where Artegor is being responsible with the smog and is worried for Sinedds health wouldnt be wasted. S2 didnt have time to show Artegor being a better coach and person to his team but I DO. Have Sinedd confused with how much better he treats them(kind of like in the fanfic “consequences” on ao3) and also kind of upset because he doesnt know how being cared for feels like!! he just thinks artegor has gotten soft and weak because he actually cares about sinedds health now. The shadows are confused too but mostly just concerned with Sinedd instead. Like...”yeah its normal for coaches to look out for ur health...we didnt tell u because we thought you knew and were just cool with Artegors harsh teaching methods”. So OOPS!! Sinedd finds out what having a family feels like and he doesnt know if he likes it !! feeling vulnerable and having people and parental figures care about you? disgusting...hes crying now and it kicked off his personality redemption arc

As for Yuki, i dont know what team she would join,or even if she would join a team at all. She doesnt do well under pressure. I would focus on her feeling like her only role in the team was being a replacement, first for Ahito,then Tia, then Mei. Those kinds of thoughts are a BITCH to deal with alone, so i would have someone in the SK(perhaps Mark,since he knows how it feels) seek her out and reassure her that the team still cares about her even if she left.

MORE THINGS HAPPEN IDK HOW TO CONTINUE

now u might be wondering how im ending this...im genuinely sorry but i have no idea. i havent finished watching s3 yet so i have nothing to work with or compare things to...again im sorry but im not a writer. The entire point of this post is to show i think s3 sucks so hard its actually mind numbing. I spent what feels like hours writing this post and my fingers hurt. Feel free to add on because im so tired i have no more steam left. Just so u know,i could GO ON about why s3 is horrible,i could fill one of those 3 hour youtube essays just with that,but as stated i am SO TIRED. s3 ruined a good show...its characters,worldbuilding,setting, EVERYTHING. And why? because instead of giving this last season to the og writers and ending it deserved, they got some fucking rando who writes worse scripts than i did in kindergarden. They ruined it. There probably should have been a clearer conclusion to this post but WHAT IS THE POINT. We all know s3 sucks ! it just sucks so hard that none of us can quite articulate all of it without our fingers falling off. Again,sorry for not ending this properly but i have lost what feels like all of my patience with s3 inhabiting any space in my mind...and also my fingers hurt

#long post #galactik football #ranting about gf season 3 #i have a feeling i will be using that tag more in the future.

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ithisatanytime · 4 months

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i watched the video again man sneako you deserve props for that one, genuinely you looked real good out there im not saying that "due to the circumstances" you looked good you got hands and great defensive instinct.

upon rewatch i understood better what happened, ok so first of all sean NEVER tries to block a body shot from sneaky and in fact several times puts his hands on his head like hes under arrest to invite sneako to go ham, keep that in mind, sean is saying im not gonna block or dodge can you damage me at all? so you cant blame him for going hard on his punches, but when sean starts fighting back, his initial flurry sneako EXPERTLY blocks and avoids watch it again its actaully pretty special hes got more training than i gave him credit for, this frustrates the shit out of sean who launches into another combo, he penetrates sneakos defenses with some sharp uppercuts that daze him so he drops his gloves, and this is whats important, someone from sneakos camp throws a towel into the ring before but he might not have seen it, but it doesnt matter he shouldnt have had to see it its not a real fight and its over regardless, after sneako gets dazed hes dropped his gaurd competely and this is the part where sean fucks up in my view, everything up to that point i could chalk up to good fun, but he unloads with full force to the degree that if it were a professional boxing or ufc match the ref already would have stopped the fight because sneako wasnt defending himself and eating heavy shot after heavy shot, at this point one of seans friends runs into the ring and grabs sean from behind pulling him off of him.

Sean dropped his hands and only defended his head because sneako actually has hands and if the ufc champion is actively defending against body shots and fucking SNEAKO is sneaking in body shots that puts the whole UFC franchise in a bad light not to mention sean, so he stops bothering to defend as if to say look how tough i am. then he starts talking to sneako taunting him, but as hes taunting sneako hes eating jabs to the face, to his credit he keeps talking but i truly believe he didnt intend to eat the majority of those shots to the face even if they werent harming much he was actively defending his head at least at first, but sneako genuinely has hands and was still sneaking shots in. with that in mind, i am SLIGHTLY softening my stance but not entirely because of what happens at the end. basically sean felt that he would be able to embarrass sneako and impress everyone effortlessly but sneako has genuinely fast hands and accurate if a bit weak punches, so sean stops defending his body to eat the shots "on purpose" but hes still attempting to defend his head and hes getting popped almost at will by sneako in the mouth taking the wind out of his taunting quite literally. so when sean finally decides to go agro, he wants to really sell it, he wants that instant crisp knockout but not only does he not get the knock out his first sustained and very agressive combo is completely and utterly stuffed by sneakos defenses, sean is a self image oriented guy he knows how that will look, so he redoubles his attempt at knocking him out cold crossing a line you NEVER cross not even with another trained fighter. fighters know knockouts are not a laughing matter oh hahaha i got knocked out, every fighter anticipates their first knockout, they lose sleep over it, and half of all pros arent the same after their first knockout, fast tracked to retirement.

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agent6v6 · 4 years

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#now im not saying im the clown 🤡🤡🤡who firmly believes even like half a year after reading The Founder of Diabolism that xiao xichen #should have in fact been revived and that xue yang should have gotten some sort of redemption arc even tho theres probably nothing he could #ever do to redeem himself but... that is exactly what im saying and that is the EXACT reason why im reading (kinda on and offish) Red Azalea #i just #how they gonna have one of the most interesting side stories ive ever read and just fucking DIE?????? bitch. i. i cried over them.#A NOVEL ACTUALLY GOT ME TO CRY OVER SOME SIDE CHARACTERS. I #anyways you cannot tell me that Xue Yang didnt love that man you dont continue to live with your mortal enemy and then try to bring him #back from the dead and then expect me to think that you DONT secretly love him. like i. thats not how that works. i #the fact that Xue yang and Xiao Xichen werent cannonly together and didnt get a happy ending lives rent free in my head #it was a high way ROBBERY #and yeah it would have been a little toxic in the beginning but like redemption arc....?#xue yang being a decent human being and having a healthy relationship with Xiao Xichen COULD have been a thing #but also maybe not #okay maybe it would have been impossible bc Xue Yang did some really fucked up things that definitely cant and shouldn't be forgiven #or forgotten but consider this: Im biased and i love him your honor and maybe im a xue yang apologist. maybe he could have burned the ENTIRE #planet down and id still be like: ✨BABY BOY✨#at the very least they should have both lived and continued to be mortal enemies who lived together #this concludes my biased late night ted talk #text

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hareharrison · 3 years

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hold me

pairing: george harrison x reader

summary: george is in the process of finishing abbey road, and has been repeatedly coming home frustrated. instead of talking to you about it, he distances himself completely, and only speaks to you in annoyance or anger, and lashes out on you. he doesn’t know how much it affects you and one day comes home to the effects firsthand.

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, angy geo, neurodivergent reader, invasive thoughts, mental breakdown/panic attack, but it works out in the end

a/n: hayyyy ok so i wrote this as a comfort fic for myself, and i decided to post it cause why not. i struggle with intense fear of abandonment cause of bpd haha fun 😐and wanted to make it from the POV of a neurodivergent reader?? so this is like a comfort fic for ND readers?? idk if i need to put any other potential trigger warnings for this but if i do please lmk and i will fix it

year: 1969

the flat was quiet without him. to be honest, it was quiet with or without him, lately. as much as you didn’t want to admit it, george had been distant. he was always a quiet person, but he has never dismissed you this much. you knew that his job could be tiring and you tried not to overthink it, but you couldn’t help but feel bad. a voice in your head was planting horrible ideas, saying things like, “you fucked up, he doesn’t like you anymore, you’re annoying.” but still, you pushed on and tried your best to ignore the noise in your brain.

you sigh heavily and slide back into the couch. you had the next two days off of work, and nothing to do. george of course had to work on your days off, which left you alone at home. with your thoughts. it was hard getting through today, your intrusive thoughts were particularly loud... but he would be home any minute now, which brought on a bit of hope; seeing him should rid you of your own jailhoused mind.

the tv played some sitcom in front of you, which you had no interest in. all you could think about was if you ruined things. what if he was thinking of leaving you? it would be your fault... and yet you couldn’t think of a single thing you’ve ever done that might have hurt him.

the door opened gently and let in a cool draft that brushed against your warm skin. you look toward the entrance, seeing your george sigh heavily with exhaustion as he took his shoes and coat off. he looked up to you, his boldly furrowed brows softening.

“hi, love,” he says, walking toward you. you stand and approach him to greet him with a quick kiss. he holds you for a little longer than usual, and you take the opportunity to melt into his arms and breathe in his smell, something you’d been deprived of recently. he rests his chin on top of your head, which laid comfortably on his rising chest. it was moments like this that made all your worries slip away, moments like this that you wished you could cling onto forever and ever.

“how was your day?” you ask, finally leaning back to look up at him. he lets go of you and runs a hand through his long hair.

“not good,” he says, a frown on his perfectly sculpted face. you return his expression at the sight of him being sad. quickly, you remember your dinner ideas. maybe that would cheer him up.

“hey, maybe we can go get something to eat? maybe get your mind off of things?” you suggest, looking up at his brown eyes. he looks down at you, eyes full of regret.

“i’m sorry love, but i’d rather just head to bed already,” he says remorsefully. you smile softly and reassure him that it’s okay and he should get some rest. but part of you breaks inside, knowing he doesn’t want to spend time with you.

he headed upstairs and you followed, the painful ideas returning at full speed.

“you’re so annoying, of course he doesn’t want to spend any time with you. you’re so annoying and clingy,” your brain says and you flinch at the harsh thoughts. through your entire bedtime routine, thoughts flooded your mind and filled your entire being up, and you felt like you were being drowned from the inside out. george stood next to you as you both brushed your teeth, not speaking a single word to you or giving you a single glance. you changed into one of george’s t-shirts and watched as he slid out of his clothes and into his pajamas in seconds. he muttered a monotone, “good night,” before turning on his side, his back facting you.

as much as you didn’t want to, you believed the mean voices and hung your head as you got into bed next to george.

you slept back to back that night.

————————————————————

the sun seeped into your room through your windows, and invaded your bed, waking you rather unpleasantly. you groan lightly as you reached over your bed for george, but only found empty space. his side of the bed was cold, indicating that he’d been up for a while now.

you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes as the aromas of freshly brewed coffee and morning dew hit your senses. you hear the song of the early birds chirping as your feet hit the cool floor. as you head downstairs, you can hear george on the phone, and you soon see him muttering softly before taking a long drag from his cigarette. you don’t bother him, seeing that there was paperwork on the table and his call must be business related. naturally, you decide to head for the coffee, the smell luring you in like a fish.

you poured the hot, dark liquid into your favorite mug and add in your preferred amounts of cream and sugar. looking out the window, you see water drip gently from the leaves of a tree that george and you had planted a year ago. you sip your coffee and reminisce about the times you used to actually spend time with george. how nice it was, seeing him smile so often.

you suddenly hear george raise his voice at the phone, something unlike him entirely. you jump at the unpleasant sound before peeking through the hallway to see what on earth was happening.

“no, i don’t care! i want the bloody bastard fired, in fact, tell him not to bother showing up today,” he shouts into the phone before slamming it down, placing his head between his knees and groaning in frustration. seeing george this upset and acting out on it was truly a rare sighting, and you thought carefully about what to next.

after careful consideration, you tiptoe into the room and gently rest a hand on his shoulder, the sudden contact making him flinch.

“christ, (y/n) are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack?” he grumbles before lighting another cigarette.

“sorry,” you say softly, “would you like some tea?” you figure it could calm his anger and soothe some of his abnormal irritability.

“what? tea? there’s already coffee made,” he says rudely. you take a step back, saying nothing. you know that you didn’t do anything and that this behavior would pass. george was never like this. your eyes find the time and see that george should have left ten minutes ago.

“george, you’re gonna be late to work,” you say, thinking you could at least do something helpful. his head snaps back at you and his once soft face turned hard with anger.

“what are you implying? you want me gone?” he stands up and angrily grabs all of the papers scattered on the table, shoving them into a folder and the folder into his bag, “fine, i’ll leave. im out the door.”

you look at him in confusion, you’d barely woken up and were just trying to help, “what’s the matter with you?”

“what’s the matter with me,” he repeats, looking away and scoffing. he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, “im sick of this, (y/n)! im sick of life. i come home exhausted and you have half a mind to ask me if i want to talk about it!”

“you always want to go straight to bed,” you defend yourself, hurt that he would even suggest that you don’t care about him. his dark eyes glare into your own for a moment that feels like hours, trying to think of somethig clever to say in response, but he just wasn’t ever much of a fighter. he finally chooses to put his cigarette out on the table’s ashtray and grab his coat. if you wanted him out of the house, he was more than happy to comply.

“george-“ you start.

“no,” he cuts you off, “don’t say anything right now, i can’t even look at you.” and he doesn’t, he ignores your presence entirely as he picks up his bag and walks out the door.

you’re left in the cold house, alone, hurt, and dumbfounded. you couldn’t believe what had just happened. you couldn’t believe that george, your george, had taken his anger out on you, simply for trying to help his morning be less shitty. worse than that, he thought you wanted him gone, when all you wanted was to be with him. is this how it was going to be now? a bitter, loveless relationship? your eyes sting with fresh tears at the thought, and a huge lump in your throat grows painfully. you take a deep breath before heading upstairs. you wanted anything but to cry this early in the morning, and the only reason you got up somewhat early was to see george before he left to work. now that your morning was ruined, you figured heading back to bed was the next best thing.

you climb back into your shared bed, suppressing your emotions with the warmth of your fluffy blankets and soft pillows. the comfort of a bed felt almost like a hug, and you sighed, letting the pain drift away as you fell asleep.

————————————————————

when you opened your eyes, the realization hit you. you’d slept until the sun began to set, completely ignoring your emotions, stuffing them down inside of you like an overflowing trash can. being awake made them fling right back at you; sleeping didn’t change a thing, and was only a temporary pause in your pain.

all of your feelings came back to you at once, and it once again felt like you were drowning internally. only this time, the thoughts weren’t the invasive factor. your emotions were overwhelmingly intense on top of your brain practically screaming horrible things to you. your breathing quickens as you feel tears slide down your face. this time you werent able to swallow the thick lump in your throat, and you began to weep softly.

this was it, george was leaving you. he hates you, he wants nothing to do with you. there was nothing you could do but hug your knees and cry. you choked on a sob and started rocking back and forth in attempts to try to soothe yourself. but you couldn’t stop, it felt like your entire world was falling apart. you soon began to have shortness of breath and struggled with your breathing, feeling your heart beat at an intense rate that you couldn’t control.

your bedroom door opens, revealing george’s early arrival. he immediately rushes to your side, afraid to touch you but wanting so bad to comfort you.

“(y/n)? (y/n), breathe. breathe, baby,” he takes your hand and you look at him. you aren’t sure if him being here is making the situation better or worse. seeing him try to help you stirred all kinds of feelings in your mind. you felt like you weren’t good enough for him, like you didn’t deserve his help.

george begins breathing in through his nose and out of his mouth, gently guiding you and hoping you will try to do the same. he sits in front of you on the bed and holds your face in his gentle hands. you look up into his eyes, the chocolate features of his face soothing you as your breath began to steady.

“that’s it,” he encourages.

“do you hate me?” you cry softly.

“what? no, (y/n), i’d give my life for yours, do you know that? you’re so, very special to me,” he slides over to sit beside you on the bed and wraps his long arms around you.

“why are you so distant?” you look up at him, and tears continue to roll down your flushed cheeks, “you acted so mean to me this morning, i feel like you want nothing to do with me.”

george is hurt by your words. he truly didn’t mean to be distant, and he never wanted to hurt you.

“i’m sorry,” he says, “ive been so overwhelmed i haven’t stopped to think of how you must feel. im really sorry my love i never meant to hurt you like this.” he embraces you tightly and you give into his comforting touch, wrapping your arms around his torso and digging your face into his chest.

you take a deep breath, “i understand,” you say before looking up to him to whisper, “i miss you. i miss us.”

“i miss you too darling,” he pauses for a moment, “how about i take tomorrow off? we can do whatever you’d like.”

you sniffle, “what about the album? the deadline?”

“i can fake sick. nothing is more important to me than you,” he says, “i want nothing more than to be with you. i love you so much.”

you smile when he presses a soft kiss to your aching head, “now how about we go have something to eat? i’m starved.”

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davidtennantpussytulpa · 2 years

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okay west side story complaints will follow if u love me you should red and agree and kiss me abt it if u dont then scroll past i guess 🙄

okay this will prob be a little disjointed but whatever. first point: the direction style…… aka kill yourself spielberg. if you hate musicals its the easiest thing in the world to not direct one but here he is. officer krupke is one of my favorite parts and they were doing so well moving between verses using the set for each character but he just HAD to cut to the woman looking at all of them like they were acting weird like UGHHHHH. the whole point of a musical is that the audience suspends their disbelief that people dont just randomly sing and dance for a few hours so they can see a story told dynamically in that way. but people are so fucking embarrassed by musicals that he put in a character to YANK us out of that suspension and be like hey!!! isnt this dumb!!! musicals are sooo silly and dumb and so are the people who like them, im making sure you guys know that even though im directing one im still one of you normal people who thinks this is all weird. the absolute fucking disrespect towards your whole audience for that…. this is extended to the one hand one heart scene as well. the original in the dress shop captures their youth and excitement so well, dancing around with the wedding dress and tux and imagining the window of the shop as stained glass. but again its just taking any of the interesting things you can do with the musical format and not giving your audience enough credit to have any whimsy or suspension of disbelief in a set that isnt the LITERAL location

next largest complaint: ANSEL ELGORT??!!??!3??3!2&@1!;?; AGAIN this feels like the producers not having enough faith that musicals can bring in an audience (despite adapting one of the most beloved musicals of all time, even nearly 60 years later) and trying to expand their audience with a face everyone knows. at least this wasnt another beauty and the beast and he could actually sing reasonably well, but his acting and dancing were HORRIBLE. the fact that he was the only mainstream famous person combined with some weird costuming choices made him feel out of place and even anachronistic at times. maria looked young (and her actress was abt the age she is meant to be) while hes pushing 30 and he really looks it. and his energy doesnt help either. instead of tony being a naively optimistic man in giddy love, he just seems like he decided to be like okay whatever i like this girl i guess. definitely not that he would DIE FOR HER. also combined with bad direction the original has them being pulled together across the dance floor almost magically, and everyone around them falls away, and it makes their romance instantly powerful and believable. in this why did they just go behind some bleachers it was SUCH a weird choice and it just never felt like they had any real chemistry with this styrofoam block of a man

okay and now for the story itself…. WHY did they feel the need to shift SO MANY THINGS AROUND. i liked the change of doc to valentina i thought that gave a good new element to the story, but they shifted all the songs in the middle around and changed the whole meaning of some of them. im on the fence over cool being changed to the fight over the gun i think its kind of interesting and i probably would have had an overall positive opinion if it werent for elgorts stiff ass dancing, but for now i think it offset the pacing with the rumble in the rest of the story. what was most offputting was removing the dress store entirely. now anita and maria only interacted at home, and there was no buildup of conflict between them with tony meeting maria there, and i feel pretty was performed without a dress of her own and to a bunch of characters we hadnt seen before and never saw again. why did they do that???? they sectioned off all the characters in scenes so oddly to the point where important people were missing from half the scenes and nobody should have known what was going on ever. tony was literally so disconnected from everyone else and in conjunction with elgort being literally the ONLY non-theatre person there it felt like tony wasnt even a main character

the police were also weird as fuck. like theyre gang members. they hate the cops. and in this one the added element if gentrification makes the cops worse. but THEN they tried to make krupke like… super well-meaning? like hes talking to the boys in a semi-supportive way and not threatening any violence and even COMFORTING ANITA AFTER BERNARDO DIES??? (also the morgue scene. why. that was stupid) like sorry disney u literally cant be like omggggg cops bad we get it guys 🥰 while STILL being like but also….. cops good 🙈

okay finally the ending. what the fuck. circling back to weird ass directorial decisions. tony dies, maria is crying and waving the gun then back to crying holding him and they could have ended there but they added them carrying his body away but there were too many fucking people so anybodys is just wandering ahead of them and maria walking behind them like 😐. THEN THEY DONT EVEN CUT THERE….. they have chino and valentina walking together THEN picking up the gun slow as hell THEN walking some more THEN the cops show up THEN they start to hand the gun over and FINALLY a fade to black with them obscured in the distance with the fire escape in close focus like WHY. in the WORLD. is that your powerful final shot. the whole thing just felt so rushed in the first place, and then being jumbled up and elgort just not even making me care a little about the romance, and then the ending being just awkward altogether what a fucking weird ass production from all angles

okay but the actors themselves other than ansel elgort all did amazing i wish i just could have directed them i literally could have done a better job. xoxo gossip girl if u read this all youve earned a sloppy makeout session with me 😘

#okay um. tell me if im crazy did anyone else feel like this. or am i just too much of a hater #(just kidding im not im always right but. is anyone else also right with me)

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nonsamaro · 2 years

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anon:

Hey! Lord this blog is a blast from the past. I used to know your system back in the alloaro server days which was such a long time ago. But anyways, I can empathize with your problem. When I first became host a year and a half ago I was lost because the old host had a lot of things and I didn't want part in any of it. And yk what there was no shame in just leaving that shit in the past. People grow, yk? No one blames you are leaving the label leaving whatever else in the past, if it's not what resonates with you leave it. Trust me trying to live up to old hosts things is... frustrating to say the least. I wish you luck and I'm sending you love

hi, sorry im answerin yer ask like this, but unfortunately smiley faces are still a trigger, but I didn't wanna just ignore the entire message bc of it and my font is blasted on my phone so editin screenshots just get wonky fast

hearin the "alloaro server" be mentioned is honestly funny though. cause I mean. it was supposed to be welcomin to not-ace aros, but it truthfully was just an alloaro server with non sam aros tacked on for "inclusion"... smth which old host has ranted upon many times. and I do have a lot of issues with the idea of empathy/empathizin, although thats probably my gut reaction as a local sociopath tryin to run away from emapths at every corner. anyways

it's not that I want to abandon the blog, or at least not the idea of a queer-focused blog, I just. hate old host with a vengeance, 100% would 1v1 to the death for sport with them if they weren't already gone. and this blog is them. and I know so ppl use the non sam aro label and it existed before they identified with it, but with the flag bein their creation and ultimately helpin the spike in non sam aro's general recognition of at least a thing that exists... it kind of feels like their thing u know? idk. the thing is I'd probably identify as a non sam aro proudly if it weren't for old host's existence, if it werent for the trauma endured by pretendin to be them for months while sufferin with the desire to be myself. but trauma is forbidden to be a reason for why u do or don't identify with a term, right ? (/s but also /insecure idk djdhdhdj)

but honestly. I don't know if this blog's possible deletion would actually effect anything, sadly. even on the queer wiki's theres not even so much as a small link to the original post or any mention of why the flag is the way it is. the flag completely has lost all of its history, and this blog feels like the only thing keepin the flag, one of old host's biggest creations, from bein shred and devoid of it's original meanin and purpose.

how many people know why the colour is blue? how many people know why the flag is "upside down"? do people even know that the flag is "upside down" at all (re: last reblog)? can they even point to the creator despite the fact they literally held (or still hold idk) the url that is just point blank the name of the identity? do they even know why the flag was created? do they know the original terms and conditions of use of the flag before the creator almost disowned the flag because of repeated violation? do they even know what is non sam arophobic if they aren't non sam aro themselves?

like yeah, it's 5 stripes any1 could have done truthfully. but it was never just a flag, it was supposed to be a tool to be able to speak on issues, and flags are one of the most easily recognizable things to become a "valid" identity. and yes, I hate old host, but these things still upset me, whether or not I am non sam aro.

sorry to go off, and I do appreciate the sentiment of your message.... am just in a confusin place atm

#ask #anon #info #idk tags on this blog. its a mess jskdhfjfjf #I am Thinkin #lmao #oh yeah one thing that left me wheezin was someone usin a combo w/ another id non sam aro flag to be the nsa flag #im short handin to nsa now u cannot stop me. but idk like #just small things like that. like if u google nsa flag all that comes up is the original flag. how did they make that mistake?#I head in hands moment.

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flamingo-writes · 3 years

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Stay — Gyro Zepelli x Fem!Reader

Gyro x Fem!Reader — Staying in for the Holidays Headcanons.

Modern!AU in which you're stuck for the hollidays with one if your roommates. The pandemic is the perfect excuse to not leave the dorms.

A/N: not me projecting myself and my family issues. Another story written in headcannons bcs I’m too lazy to make an actual fic out of this.

Requests closed, unless it’s Gyro requests because I’m in love with this guy and going through Gyro Brainrot rn.

You'd been stuck almost an entire year with Johnny and Gyro. But that was okay, you could never get bored with those two around.

Johnny decided to go back home for a few days for the holidays, mostly to time a break from the small apartment. Spend some quality time with his family his horse.

"You sure you guys don't want to come home with me?" Johnny asked.

"I'm sorry, Johnny, I don't feel like socializing with people I don't know" you said.

"Ain't got much money, man. And I gotta save it for next month's rent..." Gyro answered.

So you stayed with Gyro.

"Arent you going back home either?" Gyro asked.

"My family gives me anxiety...plus, I don't want to leave you alone. I rather spend Christmas and New Year's with you than with them”

"Aw, doll...It'd be a pleasure to spend the holidays with you" He said feeling touched by your words even though he didn’t quite show it.

You didn't do much on Christmas. Your Christmas dinner consisted of take out, lots and lots of beer, and also cheap wine, because you still felt like staying fancy, even if it was for a bit.

You then started watching cheesy Christmas movies while being slowly absorbed by the couch.

Gyro and you were very close friends, to the point where cuddling with him didn't feel weird. He was warm, the apartment was chilly, and he'd absentmindedly run his hands through your hair a lot.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought of him in other ways. Sure, he was your friend, and sure, he was handsome, flirty, and most girls in campus were after him. In the beginning, you werent any different, but when ypu became roommates, you saw him in a new light.

He became your friend.

Spending more time with him due to the pandemic made your friendship with both Johnny and Gyro stronger. You never really thought the three of you would become so close.

Also, being the flirty, attractive guy he was, he constantly brought girls over the night. This became a common occurrence, and Johnny and you no longer gave a shit whenever you came across some half naked lady anywhere in the apartment.

Those romantic and horny feelings for him were gone.

At least until Christmas eve. Spending the night cuddled together, drinking and watching dumb movies felt so intimate and perfect.

Possibly the best Christmas Eve ever since family dinners made you so uncomfortable.

You two fell asleep on the couch. At least for a few hours.

After you woke up, you decided to wake Gyro as well.

"Dude, lets go to bed, or we're gonna wake up all stiff and in pain..." you muttered.

"Ah, can I ask you for possibly the most embarrassing favor ever?" Gyro murmured.

"What is it?"

"Listen, I've been so touch starved the whole pandemic, and cuddling with someone felt so nice..."

"Oh god, do you want me to sleep with you?"

"No funny business, I promise" He said. "Unless, you want me to, doll" He winked, going back to being his flirty self.

Gyro slept in your room that night. The two of you cuddled in your bed, since your room was the warmest.

What a night.

Neither of you had slept so good in so long.

The next few days weren't any different. Throughout the day, each of you would do your own thigs, at night, you'd watch movies, cuddled together. Then go to bed, also together. You'd wake up snuggled next to each other, rinse and repeat.

It was like that throughout the entire week.

The first few nights cuddling with Gyro felt...weird. But you grew fond of your new habit.

That was until December 30, 5 days after your tradition of sleeping together began.

While still lying in bed in the morning, just talking the two of you, one thing left to the other, and then, Gyro was kissing you.

It was far more gentle than you'd imagined. His lips felt hypnotizing, they were tender, gentle and breathtaking. Pinned underneath him, as the two of you explored each other's bodies for the first time.

It was absolute bliss.

It hit you in that moment, that over the course of the week, you'd been slowly developing feelings for him. And so did he.

"I think, I'm falling for you" He breathed between kisses.

Needless to say, that day you barely left your room.

Round after round, the two of you became addicted to each other.

Johnny returned to the dorm, on January 2nd. And he came back to learn about your new relationship with Gyro.

"Jesus, I leave you alone for a week, and you two fucked like bunnies?"

"Yes" Gyro admitted shamelessly as you slapped his arm embarassed.

However, Gyro was so in love. He'd fallen head over heels in the span of a week.

And even when he came off as a play boy, he truly was a gentle and tender boyfriend.

Gyro wasn't someone who usually had his heart in his sleeve. And he never really showed his soft side to any of the girls he'd take over the night.

But you? Oh, you knew you were seeing a sweet and vulnerable side of him. And god, it was so beart warming. You found yourself falling more and more with him with each day.

Johnny didn't realy feel like the third wheel. In fact, he wasn't exactly surprised when he found out you two were dating. It kinda made sense to him that you'd eventually fall for each other.

He still thought how cute it was to witness the whole evolution you two had. From stangers, roommates, best friends, and now a couple.

Johnny made so many "And they were roommates..." jokes.

#jjba fanfic #jjba part 7 #jjba scenarios #jjba x reader #jjba steel ball run #jjba sbr #steel ball run #sbr #Gyro Zeppeli #gyro x reader #gyro zeppeli x reader

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fipindustries · 3 years

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it was worth it

so here we go, one more of what im sure will be half a dozen essays on the ending of worth the candle, hopefully ill be able to say something sufficently distinct from what other people are saying that this is worth reading. truly we have to than that i had been liveblogging this story because if i had to put everything i thought about this story right here right now, it would probably be longer than the 1.6 million words of the book itself

every so often you come across those works of fiction, those works after which the entire genre feels pointless because all there was to say was already said and done there. worm comes to mind, a lot of people have said that they just couldnt engage with superhero fiction any more after reading that because everything felt so stale and pedestrian. this feels much the same for the isekai genre, and for geeky fantasy kitchen sink worlds in general.

alexander wales, through his successive avatars sprinkled all around this story, through the dm and juniper and everyone else, feels like an archetype. @itsbenedict at one point said something to the effect that he was amazed by how every desition the characters would make and the specific reasoning behind it all felt like what he would have done and i agree with this. i dont think there was any other book that showed such a perfect, in real time, display of my thoughts as i was having them while reading the book. this book, more like any other captures a very specific type of mentality, a very particular way of engaging with fiction and fantasy, an incredibly specific philosophy when it comes to imagination and storytelling. it feels like a beacon, a conceptual circumbscribing of a type of personality and a way of looking at the world that i would truly consider my kin, as shown by the fandom of this novel.

wales, madman that he is, went and did it, he wrote the story that i feel we all wanted to write our entire lives, the gigantic, sprawling tale of someone in a granular detailed expansive and rich fantasy world, munchkinning their way into godood with one weird trick, no tricks, no traps, no short cuts, just one guy and his group of friends being very clever and making good choices. solving problems as they come with actual problem solving skills. with actual thought put into it. fantasy understood as a great puzzle to put together, a mathematical equation, commiting to go wherever the logic of the story may take us, no hedging, no items, fox only, final destination.

but there is even more to this archetype i mentioned. juniper is not just a geek, he is a very specific kind of geek. he is the classical version. he is the epitome of the gen X nerd. this subculture evolved a lot through the years, and the millenial nerd is a far different beast from its previous iteration. webcomics through the 2000′s and the 2010′s are if anything the long chronicle of that evolution, from the greasy loser of the past to quirky catgirls of today. but joon and his world feel like the last great hurrah of this character, its final tribute.

now, going back to wales, the real actual wales and not the hall of mirrors that he set up all around himself, this story proved to me more candid than i ever imagined. all fiction is ultimatly the author talking about themselves in one way or the other, we all put a bit of our lives and our sould into our tales. some times the lines can get blurry but, unless the author comes out and outrights spells it out for you, there is always some degree of plausible daniability.

well, as a matter of fact wales himself does come out at the very end and outright spells it and the amount of borderline one to one correlations with his actual life are, dare i say it? brave. doesnt help that he more or less confirms that a part of him (that is not quite him but still a significant part) would gladly have sex with a cactus person, an otter girl and an octopus, or at least would get a kick out of fantasizing about it.

but wacky fetishes aside (we never really got to see what was in flesh.txt did we?) there are some suggestions that the characters in this story may be distantly based if not in actual people, at the very least in the feeling that certain people he knew sucitated in him. which leads one to wonder was there something analogous to a “real” amarylllis??? perhaps some girl he had a crush on when he was a teenager that at the time seemed like the perfect girl and that he couldnt help but idolize and put on a pedestal, much like the readers of this story, me included, did with amaryllis. truly the last chapter invites you, almost dares you to go back and try to psychoanalize wales and figure out who he is by the veiled clues sprinkled all through out this self admitted metaphorical autobography.

as a way for me to take a deep breath, cleanse my mouth and slowly dial my self back into the rest of my life without this story ill comment on some of its flaws, mainly the final leg of the story where the emotional tugs just werent all there. where the plot sags a bit and where you can feel that the story is mainly rushing a bunch of stuff wales was just not interested in exploring but that he had commited himself to see through. so much so that through the entire arc of the long stairs all the other characters felt like they were just not really there much and the final tearful goodbye with arthur doesnt completly land, at least for me. a lot of it feels like going through the motions to just get things done, but the final take away here is that it sticks the landing, sure it might have blown its load a bit early leaving the rest of the story deflated but who am i to complain? didnt i get the load at the end of the day? and wasnt it fantastic, beyond fantastic even, transcendental? this is a good book, is my main takeaway here.

incredible, amazing, perfect, superlatives galore, i loved it and i am heartbroken that is done and i cant wait to see what alexander wales comes up with next. go fucking read it.

#we got to explode every last firecracker in the fireworks factory #and now its time to clean the soot and the ashes and go back home #worth the candle

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barryjeanblues · 4 years

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taako meets death (again)

(also posted to my ao3)

taako has met two raven queens in his life before now.

well, close enough, at least. most - though not all - of the worlds the starblaster had traveled to had gods, and surprisingly enough, those gods were usually - though not always - strikingly similar to their homeworlds gods. (this was useful, because one of the crews number relied very heavily on a certain nature god for his magic. luckily, the nature or life god of each world always seemed to have a soft spot for little old merle, even if they werent merles traditional cloven-hoofed pan.)

twice, taako had met the death god - someone equivalent to faeruns raven queen.

this had led to taakos understandable trepidation upon kravitz finally putting his foot down and insisting taako meet his mother boss.

the first time taako had met a raven queen, she had been… overwhelming. the light of creation had fallen into a forest dedicated to her and her followers, and the head acolyte refused to give the wandering crew the light unless they first received permission from the queen.

the crew had agreed, with no other option, bracing themselves to firmly explain the direness of the situation. surely a goddess would be intelligent enough to understand.

that raven queen had burst into a forest cleaning in an explosion of black feathers, half illusion, half steel, so that when lup brushed the smoky feathers from her eyes they blurred and dissipated, but when magnus tried the same thing he yelped and brought his hand back bleeding.

that raven queens laughter had been eerie and echoing, almost but not quite mocking, almost but not quite infectious, almost but not quite joyous. the crew had stood firm and offered their argument, and the queen had given them tests and tokens and bargains and tricky promises with too many clauses and loopholes and at the end of it all the ipres numbers had been halved and the rest were weary and worn as they caught the light of creation and fled with only minutes to spare, the faelike laughter of death following them terribly even through the overwhelming cacophony of the hungers assault.

that laughter had trailed after them longer, if only in their heads. taako would be making stir fry, planning outfits, swapping merles shampoo for hair-loss potions, when hed have to sit down suddenly and breathe through the musical trills of the raven queens cruel pleasure. it had seemed to bounce in his head the way a rubber ball might, ricocheting off thoughts and feelings until it rolled under a couch to be forgotten about, till some slight movement sent it rolling and bouncing about once more.

davenport had died in an illusion, thinking he was saving his crew. poor merle had been choked by his own plants, betrayal writ across hos face. barrys skin had grown sickly purple with poison - ten to one odds arent very good odds. taako doesnt forget easily. he decides the goddess of death can go fuck herself.

the second raven queen taako had met much later in their journey, and taako had met her alone.

lup and barry had become liches a few cycles back. it was something taako had still been coming to terms with.

taako loves lup. this is an immutable fact of any and every universe. taako loves lup and lup loves taako and not death or memory or space can separate them, not for long. but seeing your sister die, and then… go beyond death, to twist herself and latch on to a chance that she may never return except in madness and spite - thats a hard thing to grasp, even when she succeeds. taako had still found himself shivering when his sister forgot she had a body again and grabbed a hot pan off the stove, crying out in pain. taako still woke sweating from nightmares in which his sister and his friend flew apart and reformed as cackling red robed horrors of insanity and cruelty, too far for him to reach.

until that cycle, though, barry and lups choice had only been an asset.

but some raven queens do not take kindly to anything they see as a perversion of their domain.

barely a week into that cycle, taako had awoken from the guilty non-elven pleasure of a nap only to find himself in some cold, hard court, fashioned seemingly of steel and silver and concrete, onyx lining the floor and the only color coming from sparse sapphires sparkled throughout the long echoing hall.

at the end of it - and taako had known his eyes must have played tricks on him, because at first the being at the end of the hall seemed, while large, not much larger than a giant, but when hed called a nervous greeting his voice had echoed so awfully he knew the hall stretched much farther than hed thought and the goddess at the end of it must have been unimaginably huge.

her eyes had glinted a flinty sapphire in her carven steel face when she ordered him to defend the existence of his sister and his sisters lover.

taako had tried. he truly, truly had. but while taako is a being of preservation and caution, full of intelligence and cleverness, he is not one of cold hard logic. perhaps lucretia could have convinced this raven queen, the only of their number who had ever been able to grasp true hard reason… but taako doubts it. he had doubted it then and he doubts it even more these days.

the point is, taako, for all his love for his family and his brilliant wit and devotion (probably, in fact, because of it) taakos arguments couldnt convince that raven queen. she saw past his genuine belief that lup and barry had made a good decision, and into his fears for her, and the goddess of death had based her own argument on those. she won. taako never had a chance.

he, lup, and barry had woken up in the next cycle, newly resurrected. taako never stops feeling guilty about it.

so. yes.

taako is more than a little nervous about meeting the goddess his boyfriend serves so devotedly. but, and youd be hard pressed to convince him to admit it, taako would do anything for kravitz. and despite it all he does actually want to see what the deal is with his sister and his best friends boss, and his patron gods… friend? lover? girlfriend? taako isnt quite sure what fate and death are to each other, but its definitely something.

kravitz lays a warm hand on taakos shoulder, but taako squares them up. he can do this, for fucks sake - hes died a shitton of times, he can meet death.

the doors open and taakos breath - the only breath in this realm of the dead - catches in his throat.

taako is a die hard istus fan, and shell always be his goddess. but if taako wasnt a taken elf, hed follow the raven queen, he realizes with a startle.

shes beautiful, yes. shes gorgeous, and taakos always been weak for beauty, but hers isnt the cold hard beauty of gemstones and gold, thinks his nimble fingers snatch up and hoard in his endless pockets. the raven queen is beautiful in a way that taako cant describe as anything other than simple.

he cant pin down any features. she has a kind face, gentle hands, bright eyes, but taako can tell she is a goddess because despite staying still the image of her flicks and shifts in his head. at once she seems to have every kind face hes ever seen, even if he doesnt recognize anyone. her hands reach out to comfort him - no more than comfort - but she stands without moving in front of taako and kravitz. her eyes glitter and sparkle and crinkle up with cheerful laughter, except taako isnt entirely sure she has eyes at all, or maybe she has too many.

he thinks… he thinks maybe she has wings, or maybe theyre arms, or maybe theyre black fabric, draped around and behind and below and above her, shifting with the last breaths of every mortal in the universe. its darkness but its not scary, taako realizes, its solacing, healing, the way that he feels when dusk passes to night and the sky is huge and warm and the brush of lups hand against his as she says goodbye for the night is a relief and a love.

hello, taako, death says. its lovely to meet you.

she means it, taako knows. he can tell, somehow. shes just happy to meet him. nothing more, nothing less.

'oh,' taako says aloud, and kravitz laughs his quiet sweet dorky laugh, and the raven queen laughs too, and its just that. its just a laugh, and its a nice one.

'oh indeed,' kravitz says. 'taako, did you really think id serve a monster or a cruel master?'

'well,' taako replies hesitantly, 'honestly, homie, i kind of thought you were, and id, like, have to start some quest to slay death itself and rescue you.'

the anthropomorphic personification of death laughs again, a note of delight in her tender voice. i like him, my kravitz, she says, good job.

kravitz does the dead-reaper equivalent of blushing. taako grins a little because its very cute.

'death is different here,' taako hums. 'its… it wasnt like this anywhere else i went. it was cold, or cruel, or empty. i dunno why its different in your world.'

'then i guess we're the lucky ones, huh?' kravitz asks. taako leans up against him and murmurs an agreement. 'its why i love my job so much, why it means so much to me. its not that im some hardass, i just…'

'yea, cha'boy gets it now,' assures taako. 'still.' he looks at the ever-shifting, ever-stable face of death again. 'you better treat my boy kravitz and my lady istus well, capiche? or we will have issues.'

its a deal, taako, the raven queen says, smiling.

when taako opens his eyes, hes in his home in the material plane, and kravitz is next to him, and theyre both smiling.

#this is unedited and also i wrote it at 4am #taako #kravitz #taakitz #the raven queen #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #fanfiction #death tw #trigger warning for death because it is a fic about the goddess of death #and also taako mentions some times that they died before story and song (so they dont count)#m text #fic #text #ask to tag #o shit yea and its lowkey lowkey inspired by gaimans death because i like the idea of a nice death

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