#if im wrong and its not a tv ill genuinely be mad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

winderlylandchime · 8 months

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I’ve been waiting for 2x04 bc it’s one of my faves so i should say this ep was watched after his check up where he told a nurse about it and the nurse told him he actually watched it when it aired. To which my brother went ‘well watch it again bc I have to talk to someone about it man, she *points to me* is about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.’ Anyway: ‘oh it’s pride weekend? Wait WEEKEND? Don’t you fuckers get a whole month? *points at me* dont start, that was meant lovingly’.. ‘so Godiva is like the Trixie of Libery Avenue? That reminds me i gotta watch her new youtube video..’ ‘maybe.. the reason your drink isn’t selling is that hair, sir that is outrageous!..why is he helping a homophobe. Although he’s just an employee so i get it, ill allow it one time Bri Bri’ ‘oh she has a motorcycle? I do too! Maybe this is how i start to like Mel..but mine is broken bc i fell..*he is currently sad over the motorcycle*’ at this point he was so angry at Mikeys coworkers that he paused the ep, went outside for a smoke, came back looked at the tv and went ‘not cool guys, that’s just tacky’ ‘who’s godiva again?! THE LIBERTY VERSION OF TRIXIE IS GONE?! OH NO POOR TRIX- i mean godiva’ ‘OKAAAY TED GET YOURSELF SOME DICK! Good for you! Maybe less talking bc it doesn’t seem to be your thing’… ‘is he making the drink gay? well that’s- WHY DID HE PUT ON THE GOOGLES TO SUCK HIS DICK? SIR YOU WILL CHOK- well i guess that the point’ he got very sad at the scene of Justin painting the sign. He forgot Justin was an artist and now he’s sad bc he can’t do it anymore..’ITS JEN! AT PFLAG! I knew i could count on you! She reminds me of our mom (cut to me saying our mom is a black woman) well..i didn’t specify HOW she reminds me-you know what? Leave me alone, I’m clearly going through something..oh god the shirt. I’m happy for her but Michael would not make me proud…unless he changes like 60 things about himself overnight’ btw he is feeling so proud of himself rn bc he swears that he is “chill” all while bouncing his leg so much my house is shaking. ‘IS THAT THAT BAT FUCKER?!! AT A GAY HOSPICE?! IS THIS SOME KIND OF A FUCKING JOKE?! HE DID NOT JUST WISH AIDS ON HIM AND DURING PRIDE?! oh kid i am your biggest fucking enemy right now, i hope you have an explosive diarrhea’ ‘okay so Mel used to be fun? What happened? Where did she go wrong?…A PITY FUCK?! TED DESERVES BETTER! WHAT KIND OF FUCKED UP JOKE IS THIS! That guy wasnt even that pretty so don’t worry Ted’ he got mad again here but less mad then before so no smoke break! ‘Oh he sobered up fast when he realized it wasnt a dream. Bri bri we need to talk about how youre in love. I swear I won’t tell anyone! OH FINALLY I AGREE WITH MIKE, IT WAS A SICK JOKE! Oh..i just know if that fucker did anything, Brian would be fighting right now..now i want to see Brian throw a punch, do you think he knows how to?..OH NO JUSTY, WE ARE GOING TO PRIDE! You are supposed to be proud of..wait what is he supposed to be proud of? Dick sucking skills? *looks at me genuinely* id be proud of that if i was him’ ‘oh my god! The ugly hair homophobe! NOW WHY DID HE SAY THE F WORD?! HE ISNT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT WHAT THE HELL! AND DURING PRIDE?! FUCK YOU!’ And we are back outside for a smoke break.. not to make my brother a liar from the last ep but he is NOT calm. ‘Okay im cool again..as long as no hetero pisses me off anymore. I love that big flag! Do you think they filmed this during actual pride?..WE ARE NOT LETTING BAT FUCKER WIN! Okay seriously now, how bad is Brians mom because he keeps making people march with their moms.. is that bc she wouldn’t do it if she kne- oh god i am now sad for Brian wanting to march with his mom but cant. This is too much for me to handle on a random Friday!..oh brian knew about that fucker? You know what? Hes a little rude but he keeps wanting everyone to just be them. I fuck with that! I shall do that too! But after i get back to my normal life bc this *waves hands* is not it’ 1/2 of 2x04

ANON I AM SCREAMING.

Your brother being pissed about Brian working for a homophobe... wait until he gets to Stockwell arc.

Does your brother watch...drag race? Is he a Trixie Mattel fan? I am seriously dying over this. Comparing Godiva to Trixie... bless. I don't know how accurate I feel that comparison is but I would need to sit with it to think of a better comparison. I take my drag race comparisons seriously.

Mel used to be cool... what happened? Lindsay! LOL

And that bat fucker! I love it. He's so protective over Justin and Brian. He's so worried about what Joan did to Brian and your brother is in for a sad sad shock.

And his take on Brian and Ted - "He keeps wanting everyone to just be them" is so so so accurate.

Your brother may be high off his butt on painkillers but he's very accurate in his takes.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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ajokeformur-ray · 3 years

Text

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend.

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go.

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~ *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E V E R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe.

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what”

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too...

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink...

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

ASDFGHJKL

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much.

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will.

b l o o d s m i l e

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel.

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

t h a t ‘s l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~

i l o v e y o u

#erileck #<- ref tag #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #erika talks

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lefaystrent · 4 years

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Has virgil ever had a break down infront of anyone in the nursing home au. Like freaked out becuse of police sirens outside of the building or on tv or a documetery of prision is played on the luchroom tv when he went to make" fucking mac and cheese™️" also im sad now cus all i think of is logan dying and then a when romans about to die he tells virgil "i know what my next adventure is. Im going to find Logan. Dont worry ill be fine" and thencloses his eyes to sleep but dosent wake up;-;.

First of all, hello sadness! Loganis the first to go yes, and you can bet your bottom dollar Roman would saysomething along those lines. (Or alternatively, the both of them discover thefountain of youth and never have to die. :D)

As for Virgil, he tries his very hardestnot to show his weaknesses, but sometimes…they just happen. The first time it happens in front of other people at the nursing home is written below the cut.

WARNINGS: in-depth descriptions of a panic attack, ptsd

Nursing Home AU Masterlist

It happens when Virgil is inRemus’s room cleaning up one of his messes.

Remus adamantly disagrees on theterminology of his ‘messes’.

“It’s art! You prudes wouldn’t haveany artistic sense if it bit you in the butthole!”

Virgil snorts, “You could have justleft it with ‘butt’.”

The old man grins, showing off asmile that’s missing half of its teeth. “But butthole sounds so much juicier.”

“I will pay you to never say thatagain.”

“This is payback for destroying mylife’s work.”

Virgil looks at him with a raisedbrow.

Then he looks pointedly back at thewall that features a giant penis drawn with smeared ketchup.

Virgil has no idea where Remussmuggled this much ketchup into his room.

Patton comes into the room. Heglances at the ‘artwork’ on the wall and doesn’t look the slightest bitsurprised. Someone must have spread the word to him.

Remus doesn’t look at all ashameddespite Patton’s disapproving expression.

“We’ve talk about this,” Pattonadmonishes.

“You talked, I ignored.”

“Remus. No…phallic imagerydisplayed in the building.”

“THIS IS HOMOPHOBIC!” Remusscreeches.

Virgil just shakes his head andcontinues wiping down the wall.

For the next couple of minutes helistens to the two of them talk behind him. Patton continues to try to reasonwith Remus, and Remus continues to be unreasonable. Same song and dance asevery day.

But then Remus yells something thatsticks with Virgil.

“This place is a prison!” hebemoans. “Give me back my freedom, George Washington!”

And it’s kinda funny and Remus’sstyle of random and dramatic, but …

This place is aprison.

Maybe. In some ways.

Like the small cell-like rooms.

Or not being allowed to leave for manyof those who lived here.

Seeing the same faces day in andday out.

Always having eyes on you, watchingeverything you do.

But for the most part?

You didn’t have to worry if yourcellmate would strangle you in your sleep.

Or keeping your head down in thecafeteria, because last time you made eye contact with someone they took it asa challenge.

Or choosing to forsake personalhygiene just so you wouldn’t leave yourself open to being cornered in theshowers.

The way they’d size you up quick aspredator or prey, and God help you if they thought of you as the latter.

As scared shitless as Virgil hadbeen, crying into his pillow almost every night because it was always so coldand the thin standard blanket did nothing to fight the chill…

Virgil had never in his life had toact so tough and mean. He learned to spit his words harshly enough to makeothers second guess their assumptions of an easy target. He hissed and bit anyhand that tried to touch him.

Virgil doesn’t realize at first,but he has stopped cleaning up Remus’s mess.

His hand lingers, rag pressedagainst the wall until it drags down and lays limply.

He stares, and while the beigepaint brings warmth to the room, it somehow fades to the steel gray he had tosee day after day.

Distantly he hears voices behindhim, but they become a muted hum, like the echoes from down the row of cells.He can hear footsteps, the guards pacing up the corridor.

“Virgil?”

A hand on his shoulder.

It burns like acid.

Virgil’s entire body tenses up, alive wire ready to strike but his vision’s gone all tunnel-y and he can’t seewhere the enemy is.

“Virgil. Virgil, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t. Touch. Me,” Virgil pushesthe words out with all the effort it takes to move a car out of a muddy bank.

He’s just now catching on thatmaybe he’s having a panic attack, but that doesn’t stop it from happening. Ifanything, it just makes it worse and he struggles to decipher past frompresent. It all muddles together, and he can’t move, can’t turn his head, can’tstop staring at the gray—brown—gray wall.

“Don’t touch me,” Virgil saysagain, breath kicking into a concerning pace. “Don’t touch me, don’t touch me,don’t ever fucking touch me.”

All at once the hand is gone.

The burn of acid remains.

Patton is at a complete loss.

Virgil was fine just a minute ago.

But then he’d gotten quiet— which wasn’tunlike him, ya know? But he hadn’t responded to either of them when spoken todirectly, and that definitely was unlike him.

So Patton tried to get hisattention, thinking maybe he’d been lost in thought.

He’d never seen Virgil’s eyes sowide and terrified.

And his shoulders, they startedmoving up and down as his breathing shallowed out.

And his words—so aggressive thatPatton genuinely believed for a second that Virgil was one second away fromlashing out at him.

Patton keeps his hands to himselfafter that, but he lingers beside Virgil, reluctant to leave him likethis—whatever this is.

Is he angry at Patton? Upset withwhat they were talking about? Patton begs Virgil to tell him what’s going on,but it’s like Virgil can’t even hear him.

“Just keep talking to him,” Remussuggests.

“It’s not working though,” Pattonsays, voice dripping with worry. Virgil’s really starting to edge towardshyperventilating. An allergic reaction? But Virgil has never mentioned—and hehasn’t eaten anything recently—

“What’s going on here?” Dee asks,poking his head in.

Virgil can hear him at the doorway,kind of like in an out of body sort of way.

He’s never had a freak out this badaround them—had been so proud of himself for making it this long.

Now their eyes are on him, andVirgil feels their pinprick gazes stabbing into the back of his neck. The panicramps up another couple of notches.

Patton looks pleadingly at Dee.“He’s—he’s having some kind of attack. I don’t know what happened.”

“Oh shit,” Dee says eloquently.

For all that Dee oozes confidenceand spins pretty words, comforting an emotionally distressed rival is kinda outof his range of specialties. He stands there, slack-jawed and hesitating.

That won’t do at all.

“Just fucking talk to him,” Remussays bitingly and gets up from his bed.

He ambles over to Virgil and pullsa chair up close enough to him but far away enough to not startle him.

Virgil startles anyway.

“Whatever you’re seeing, kid, it’snot real,” Remus tells him. His eyes are bright and mad and clever. “They wantyou to think it’s real, and yeah okay, it was real at some point, wasn’t it? Butit’s not anymore. You’re not there. It’s over. You can come out now.”

It takes a minute, and Virgilshudders, and tears are streaming down his face.

But he’s listening.

Remus leans forward, elbows proppedon his knees. “You’re safe now. They already did the hurting. So tell them togo fuck themselves. They don’t get to touch you anymore.”

Virgil slows to a calm.

He feels numb.

Drained.

But the walls have stopped crushinghim and he can breathe again.

“Better?” Patton asks from theother side of him. He never left his side for a moment.

Virgil nods jerkily, unable to talkat the moment.

“Need anything? Water? Anything?”

Virgil takes too long to think,thoughts sluggish.

“Let’s go talk to Logan!” Remusblurts out.

He hops out of his chair andmotions for Virgil to stand. Noticeably, he doesn’t try touching Virgil. Heholds out his hand in offer if Virgil needs help standing up.

“His nerdy talk can bore you rightto sleep. Let’s go, Emo. Upsy-daisy.”

Virgil takes his hand and stands.

He hesitates, gesturing at the wallas if to say, “But I still need to clean it up.”

Remus waves his concern off. “Don’tworry about that. Dee will clean it up. Dee loves cleaning up mymesses.”

Dee gives him a dark look butdoesn’t say anything. He stands aside and lets the two of them leave the room,Remus guiding a quiet Virgil by the hand.

Patton remains, though he staresafter them. “I’m still not sure what happened. He was fine and then … Iguess something must have triggered it.”

Dee shrugs, rubbing his glovedhands together self-consciously. “Everyone has their own demons.”

And when Remus had seen Virgildescend into the madness of memory, like had recognized like.

_______________________________________________________________

General Tag List: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @levy-the-b00kw0rm @tacochippy @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @just-another-rainbowblog @georganabanana @grey-says-heck @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @thesynysterunknown @idont-know-what-im-doing @idioticsky @fadingglowcloud @whizzie72 @theinvisiblespoon @greyyy523 @opaque-puppet @just-fic-me-up @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sos-fandoms @loganeatsbooks @trust-is-overrated @theitalianalchemist @im-crunchie @mourning–star @4amanxiety @hogwarts-my-love @enby-phoenix @justanotherpurplebutterfly @internet-or-sleep @absolutesandersidestrash @seaspider10 @nonasficcollection @satanblessi @an-absolute-failure @analogical-mess @noisyeggpizzapatrol @hamilsandersfam @cefinitely-rolo @thgjclw @knight-shives @no-no-no-no-6 @savingshae @rabbitsartcorner @buddypallady @midnight-tragedyy @007ardra @fandomloverangel @dorkoverse @moodytrash06 @mirrorz-n-starz @idunnosong @lcrnbw @ollyollyoxinfree @cuter-on-the-inside @its-high-time-that-i-dropped-in @crazy-rat-man @i-need-a-life-8903 @modsnow

Nursing Home List: @thirteenashmctrash @figurative-falsehood @oddball-wqri@comicsimpson @hit-or-mish @delphionix @rabbitsartcorner @nugs-and-hugs-not-drugs @toostressedforthisbs @fluctuating-fangirl @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @bestbluebouquet @the-aroace-queen-in-the-quiver @logans-doodles @herestheanxietea @theblankest123 @lia-quanz

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missytalks-blog · 5 years

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Im just here to talk

Hi there,

I have been battling my fears lately and that is being alone in another country. Feeling helpless and paranoid that I am not welcome in this country at the moment. I left my country to find a better life for my family. I want to help them. We are not piss poor. We are not struggling. Let’s just say we’re average. My parents working til they’re 60 and still working until now, no savings because they used everything to help me and my sister. Living on pay check by pay check and wishing everyday that they get the chance of a promotion. I see my mother’s face getting defeated and exhausted everyday, fearing that money will run out soon.

I worked my ass off to graduate on a course I didn’t want to do. I chose it because I want to see happiness in my mother’s face. That someone was actually taking some responsibility to help the family. Well i thought it would be easy but i thought wrong. Going abroad is difficult. This is my first time away from home for a very long time. And yet everyday it has been a struggle. most days it has been chaos. If not chaos in reality, it’s chaos in my head. I am battling my own mind and this is because I care too much. I care about my family relying on me, I care about not offending anyone and just try to help out everyone.

I don’t know if I care too much that I forget myself but it feels like it is not enough. I dont want to change though. Thats me. I care a lot whether tell myself not to care, Ill still care.

Currently it is work that’s defeating me. I love my job. I enjoy caring for people. But no matter what I do to just be cool and try to stretch my patience, some things that I cant control defeats me.

The worse happened the other night, I had to deal with a co-worker that does not want to be told off. We are currently short of staff, and we had to do 12hr shifts. We had to arrange a roster with the boss, me and this certain co-worker present at the meeting. A roster had been done and both me and the co-worker agreed to it.

Thursday came. We were supposed to do 12hr shifts. This certain co-worker was supposed to come in at 1900. Was a busy day. Beaten and exhausted at 1900, I thought I was already able to eat dinner and go home as I was hungry. 1930, no one came to work. Called my boss, no one answered, called the co-worker on both her numbers, was just busy beeps. I panicked thinking I was gonna do 24hr shifts now without anyone telling me. I called the boss again to arrange for someone to come in the morning as I cant really do the morning shift still after doing 24hrs. Sorted. 8pm still no sign of anyone coming to work. I was already late for the medication rounds so just went on with work again. No food since 11am. Trying my best to concentrate with my tummy rumbling, in the cold, I did work slowly but surely as I did not want to make any mistakes. Was a relief when this co-worker turned up at 11pm. Apparently she forgot that she was supposed to come in on a night shift.

She had this no worries smile on her face like it was alright to forget things. It did not bother me, but when I started suggesting she call if she’s not sure of the shift because we did agree to the roster and she was physically present when we both agreed to the roster. she even photocopied it. I did also mention that she also has the responsibility of checking the roster ahead of time. She started shouting at me..being tired and all, I also fought back and told her ‘really? you’re the one who is mad at me?’ but she kept shouting at me to leave and threatened that she will drag me out of the facility. I stood there just looking at her and nodding my head off thinking there is no talking to this woman. I did not have time for that and just left because I thought it was unprofessional to fight back and I thought turning my back to someone who is too much is better than provoking the situation. She told me to go home she didn’t want handover, you can’t really force someone if they don’t want it. So I left.

Clearly I wasn’t meaning to tell her off, I was suggesting but maybe guessing by the way my face showed tiredness, probably she took it the wrong way. I meant to suggest, but she took it the wrong way and started shouting at me. Probably because we were both tired. I was just confirming if it wont happen again as we are doing this roster for the next 3 weeks. But I chose to walk away from a situation that I had no control over. It was her choice to shout at me and I had no control over that. I chose to walk away because that was the only way I can control myself. My reaction is my choice. Turning away is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Shouting is not a sign of strength either, so I chose to be quiet.

I felt mad that she shouted at me, I was shaking and I cried a little as I cry a lot on situations. I cry when im happy, I cry a lot when im super happy. I cry when I miss my mom. Yeah, I am a cry baby. Because that’s the only way I can show my genuine emotions. Not with talking or with actions. I cry and im still crying until now. after two days, I cant contain and stop myself from crying. I try my best to watch something funny but when everything turns quiet, everything hurts again. I feel very very very defeated now, even though I try to put a smile on my face every time. I could not eat. I tried but my tummy is refusing it. I stay in bed most of the time trying to look for comfort. I tried talking to my partner but I know when its too much for him or if he is not interested. So I stopped.

To be honest those suicide/depression hotlines are not good help either. I tried to text them because I dont like talking when im angry or crying or super down. Everything is all in my head and I prefer to type. The lady replying to my messages was not helpful, their replies were sort of questioning you if you are really in a crisis or not. I know when I call, I fear being recorded like those I watch on TV. I wanted to call but recording me invades my privacy. I know they want to help, but sometimes being recorded is not what I consent to.

But im writing this because I am currently in a crisis. My only comfort now is watching Jeffree Star be successful on youtube and surviving his past self. I find him funny and puts a smile on my face. I know it is super low and weird, I have never watched him before until now. and im hoping my happiness doesn’t end. But i know when it does, I dont know if I can handle it anymore.

I am turning 31 on monday and this isn’t how I envisioned my birthday to be like but now I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy and i’m treating my birthday as an ordinary day. I feel like happiness is not a part of my life. I keep chasing it but somehow the darkness and sadness chases after me and takes up a part of me. It will swallow me whole soon, and I dont know if I can bounce back. I dont have strength, I dont have anything anymore.

I want my mama.

If you’re reading this, please dont try to help me. Because all I can think about now is being a burden to someone else. I dont wanna be a burden. Id rather put myself away than be a burden to anyone else.

#sadness #talking #canwetalk

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: BRIT AWARDS SPECIAL

So, welcome to... a Tuesday? Yeah, it’s not exactly a usual time for me to post on this blog but it’s not just your everyday episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – That’s right, it’s the 40th ceremony in the annual BRIT Awards celebration, where we – or at least ITV – commemorate the greatest in British pop music. I’ll be celebrating in full force this year, but not by tweeting manically like I did last year – well, there will still be some tweeting; follow me @cactusinthebank – but instead by writing my live commentary right here. I did this a couple years back so I figured I’d bring it back again in traditional, over-analytical, unnecessarily nitpicky fashion. I’ve got an Excel document like I had last year to make not of who wins and compare it to who I think should win. I’m all prepared – it’s time for the 2020 BRIT Awards... unfortunately hosted by Jack Whitehall.

COMMENTARY

Interestingly (This is 10 minutes before the show begins), the International Group Award, Best British Video, Outstanding Contribution to Music and Global Success Awards have been abolished, and British Breakthrough Act, Critics’ Choice Award and British Single of the Year have all been renamed. Also, the BRITs caught flack for less female artists being nominated although last year there was a record amount nominated so I feel like sexism claims can’t really ring all that true in my opinion. It does often seem like male artists have dominated that year of pop music, just as it feel female artists have the previous year, and the BRITs have noticed that, so it just feels a tad lop-sided towards the males this year. I’m playing Devil’s advocate, sure, and I wouldn’t say 2019 has been a bad year for British women in music, but I am able to somewhat defend this decision. I feel like I’d just say that as a little pre-amble. In fact, I’ll add this: this will be less formal and grammatically correct than a normal RTC episode, and perhaps a bit less wholesome or family-friendly. Also, if none of this makes any sense, that’s because it’s out of context completely, and this will make absolutely no sense unless you’re watching it with me or had watched it prior to reading this, but that’s the joy in this! Scorecard at the ready, 19:58, it’s the BRITs in two minutes, and I am prepared to make fun of every issue I pick out.

Jack Whitehall is so unfunny lol Like Haha She Is Cleaning Lizzo Flute But He Look Like Masturbate Ha Ha

I feel like they did not know what they should do for this year

The intro with him trying out iconic BRIT Awards outfits is kinda cool actually

I wonder how far into the future they plan for these. Like are these skits pre-recorded by three months or so

Mabel didn’t really hit that note huh

I won’t really be paying attention to this one because I’m filling out scorecard and all to update it for this year but Mabel is less energetic than she was on the Graham Norton Show months ago

Can’t tell if Don’t Call Me Up has soured on me a lot or this is just a bad performance. Probably the latter

Is this the vocal loop from Mad Love or something I don’t recognise it

Nevermind I’m so dumb it’s from Don’t Call Me Up

The telephone on the screen Because Ha Ha She Says Call Me Up is a bit on the nose

I don’t think they realise she also has a song called Ring Ring

“Please welcome your host Jack Whitehall” No go away

Audience did not like the Boris Johnson joke or even the Chris Martin one lol this gnarly dude is BOMBING

Rod Stewart has eight children what the f

“Horny scarecrow of rock and roll Ronnie Wood” I hope that is on his CV

“A bit of witty banter from Dave” Jack Whitehall Shouted Out The TV Channel Dave

Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved genuinely makes me want to eat a living frog this live version is better though he’s not straining that much

I saw a BBC News piece on a boy with cancer and this was used in the background and I understand it’s a sad, sappy piano ballad but it’s literally just about a break up like that’s a tad unfitting and kinda undermines the illness and tragedy surely

Niall Horan looks SO infused

The production value for these little transitions seems to have improved it actually looks cool and not dated garbage

Lewis Capaldi will win Best New Artist

Lewis Capaldi won Best New Artist

It’s his first BRIT Award but what’s the point in celebrating he’s gonna win like seven more

Dude is coming up to the stage with a bottle of beer in his hand bruh

I bet this dude is going to be the Adele and just get drunk and swear every time he gets an award

He hugged Niall Horan for a concerning amount of time

The audience chanted ‘DOWN IT DOWN IT’ he did not down it

He just shouted profanities into the mic after 40 seconds of delaying it, but the audio was muted so I have no idea why Jack Whitehall Loves This Man

Lewis Capaldi’s music and personality clash so hard like I saw an advert of this man making funny faces set to Someone You Loved and it was so odd

That advert played right after the BRITs by the way lol

Why is Lewis Capaldi on another advert singing Someone You Loved again like stop stop stop pelase i ccant getsv awytsuavforrnjeofityre

JHE’S BACK FOR ANOTHER ADVERT GO AWAY YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT

Why would Mastercard proudly sponsor this sh

How the hell is FKA twigs nominated for best female artist like cool and all her album was good but Huh

I guess they put one alternate win each time

Mabel will win Best Female Solo Artist

Mabel won Best Female Solo Artist

Oh yeah I forgot people actually make speeches

“There are so many amazing women in this category” Mabel Listens To FKA Twigs

Don’t thank your record label they are crooks

I forget that Mabel is Neneh Cherry’s daughter that’s wild. Neneh Cherry won a BRIT too, I think this same award. Cool. Neat.

Jack Whitehall’s sarcasm and dryer wit is not exactly the best fit for the BRITs. For once I miss Ant & Dec

Harry Styles Is Literally Wearing Pajamas

This is an ok song and with actually good vocal mixing it’s better but he does sound a bit off. He did get robbed before the awards happened though lol

I am sick of guys singing ballads with a e s t h e t i c backgrounds like can we get some volcano eruptions up in this

The Rising Star and British Producer Awards (new awards) were already given out I feel like cheating

Literally the only nomination for the British Producer of the Year was fred

He won

Another break bruh bruh bruh give me a break

Harry Styles’ Pajamas Are Wet Now He Was Standing In Water

Little simz is on an advert afterwards with an amazing song from her amazing album but she’s not nominated for any award

Im so tired like this shit is keeping me awake last year i fell asleep during a jess glynne performance

Liam payne performed a month before the ceremony and his album fell 31 places on the chart in response

Jack Whitehall called himself a lanky streak of piss this man might get an Ofcom Complaint

Lizzo’s really pushing that title track huh

Lizzo didn’t censor herself on the Grammys but her breathy ‘uh’s are making some lines unintelligible lol

This is a good song though

LOL SHE STOPPED FOR THE AUDIENCE TO CONTINUE HER SENTENCE BUT NOBODY SAID THE LINE YIKES

I guess she forgot Truth Hurts didn’t even peak in the top 20 here

Good as Hell is the one people here care about

She knows that they didn’t respond in Truth Hurts because she said ‘sing along if you know it’ lol

She kinda messed up but to be fair she is walking and singing with the audience

That White Guy With The Crap Hair Killed It

Drummer is going wild

I love the extra guitar flourishes in Juice this is pretty cool actually, her interpolating Cause I Love You at the same time is pretty epic this actually sounds pretty great I’d love for this whole medley to be on streaming

She yelled ‘biiitch’ but the mic did not catch that

Ronnie Wood Really Got The Positive Vibes

Lewis Capaldi will win Best Male Solo Artist

(Michael Kiwanuka got like no applause god damn at least give them pity applause)

ROIGHT and tha winna ***upside down*** is STRORMZY

Stormzy won Best Male Solo Artist

(Second time by the way)

Clean version of Vossi Bop kinda slap Ngl

Stormzy TOWERS over Ronnie Wood lol dude is tall

“Um.”

“Best Male is nothing without incredible females” Cool cool

Ronnie is about to tell Stormzy why he thinks he should go back to his own country and that He’s Not Actually Racist

(Those allegations are baseless. My lawyers advised me to say so.)

Jack Whitehall touched audience feet

We’re already nearly an hour in wow

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ADVERT BREAKS

Yes Yes

Hell yeah dave is awesome, he got his Top Boy co-star to work as a hype man before him

I think this is Black? If so that’s amazing I love that song

It’s Black he has it written on his white piano

The only white piano is slowly turning more black

I like the headlines and all the imagery on the piano it’s really cool

Dave is a tad off beat but he’s also playing a double-sided piano so understandable

A white dude is playing the other side of the piano I’m sure that’s symbolic

He is aggressive in this delivery damn he’s killing it

Some of this imagery is beautiful – especially the BRIT Award being covered by black snakes and the Arabic writing transitioning into an Africa with colonial borders

This was an amazing performance, especially with the violins. Incredible.

OH THERE’S ANOTHER VERSE ABOUT BORIS JOHNSON

The least racist is still racist damn right

This works as an obituary as well damn.

I’d have to analyse this whole thing but this was an incredible performance oh my god

I want this on streaming

When did this man help a terrorist plot wh

Paloma Faith Sounds Like A Robot Who Is Vaguely Feminist

Burna Boy will win International Male Solo Artist

(I so want Tyler to go home with it though. Could go to Post as well)

It’s just whoever shows up gets it though so

WHOA

WHAT THE HELL

TYLER THE CREATOR WON HOW

TAHT IS AMSGWYUFE

THE RADIO HOST SAID IGOR WRONG BUT ITS OK TYLER WON

Tyler, The Creator won International Male Solo Artist

This gnarly dude just said ‘errr yeah errr’

“Shout out to all the British funk from the 80s I try to copy”

LOL THE THERESA MAY CALL OUT HAHAH

I FORGOT HE WASNT ALLOWED IN THE UK

Bts is not a british group, presenter

Coldplay will win Best British Group

Foals won Best British Group

I am actually so surprised lol at Tyler and Foals winning their first BRITs

More alternative dudes winning I guess. Neat. Means a lot

Stop thanking your corrupt labels

The name’s eyelash

I haven’t actually heard her Bond theme yet

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho

I like it. The whispery tone of her voice, the eerie strings (cello?), and slick guitar really fit the Bond franchise. Thank you Billie Eilish, very cool!

No Don’t Talk To Lizzo Don’t Talk To Anyone Jack Whitehall

“There was so much energy they could have done the whole performance for me” well not exactly mrs. Lizzo

This is so awkward we can’t hear what Lizzo is laughing at Harry Styles looks pissed

‘floutists’ is the name for flute players huh

I’m so confused what is going on

Lizzo is threatening jack Whitehall with a flute and within the transition to the break i could hear a slight faint shout from jack in the background

Is everyone ok

More people that i wanted to win than who i expected to win are winning

Sam Fender is haha funnie but nobody in the audience thinks so lol

Celeste is performing she’s the new Rising Star award she has already had a bit of a crack but I’m pretty sure that’s part of the song

This song is ok

Bit boring tbh. Audience is getting tired too. This is lasting like 5 minutes and the song is pretty flavourless and repetitive. Yawn snore

We’re about half way through and I’ve kind of lost interest ngl

Honestly lewis capaldi did better than celeste on jah

Jack Whitehall is having a mental breakdown right now. Understandable

Billie Eilish will win International Female Solo Artist

Billie Eilish won International Female Solo Artist

Lizzo looks so disappointed for whatever reason lol like did we really think anyone else would get this award

Sporty Spice is in the background dancing to everything i wanted that is not a song you dance like that to it’s about suicide

This speech is going terribly

Why are so many of these gnarly dudes signed to polydor

Thank you Billie Eilish very cool

No Jack Whitehall Don’t Talk To Harry Styles

Harry Styles looks like he hates Jack Whitehall so much

The Lizzo-Harry-Jack Whitehall love triangle is Awkward And Awful

Lizzo is the only reason the brit awards are good

Ok the exchange about Harry Styles not being taken seriously was pretty funny

In fact this whole exchange was very funny And Partially About Incest

“Is one of these lucky ladies your date?” “That’s my sister”

Lizzo is chugging the tequila

Harry Styles Looks Like He Pissed Himself

The BRIT awards have suddenly become very confusing

Epic Stormzy Time

Genuinely have no idea what song he’ll perform. Probably Vossi Bop?

Stormzy Should Keep The Singing To His Backing Vocalist And Choir

Gospel beat sounds sweet

I think this is supposed to be Lessons but the studio version is so much duller than this version. This one is pretty cool. I think it’s the choir

I’d be surprised if he only does Lessons. Also the production value here was crazy. Full band, pyrotechnics and all.

Oh yeah it’s Vossi Bop time he’s got the red lighting

Nevermind it’s Wiley Flow lol but still

Reminds me of when Kanye did All Day (also the audio got muted for a long period of time just like when Kanye did that)

This one is more choreographed though lol

Why did he perform two of the least popular songs first though

Burna Boy is coming out for Own It alright, he sounds just as good as studio, probably because He’s Not Actually Singing

I don’t like this song but the choreography is great, stage presence is good and the visuals are incredible. Really shows that even with the worst material, you can make a song sound as lively as ever. The horns the live band added to Own It sound beautiful

Burna Boy’s little solo bit was great

He got away with saying “Sucking on their mums” nice

I hadn’t heard Rainfall before this I don’t think (it sounds familiar though), but the mashup with Praise You was great. I love the sight of Stormzy in front of family members, the young men in black outfits from Wiley Flow, the tropical clothes-bearing women from Own It, Burna Boy, the live band, and all. It’s really a nice diverse sight to see. Cool cool. This probably means absolutely nothing but I Am Knackered

Someone You Loved will win Song of the Year

I really hope it’s Ladbroke Grove though. It and Location feel very emblematic of 2019, in a way that I Don’t Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber DEFINITELY isn’t

Someone You Loved won Song of the Year

“Biggest winner of the night so far” there’s only one award left mate

Lewis Capaldi Is A Very Funny Man

“Thanks to my grandmother for dying”

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho [2]

Heard a very british voice say “i luv yoo bilie” in the audience lmao

Lewis Capaldi will win Album of the Year

I’d prefer literally anyone else to win this award. Only one of these albums was a 7/10 or above but Lewis Capaldi’s album was unlistenable

OH HELL YEAH THE ONLY GOOD ONE WON

Dave won Album of the Year

Epic I love that album. It could very well have been Capaldi but since Dave won the Mercury Prize I guess he would have been a better prediction

People are screaming man’s lost for words

“Jesus Christ!” dude’s so astonished lol

I loved Dave’s speech actually very inspiring

“Jack, I’m gonna do this one for your mum, Hilary” bruh rod stewart really saying ‘ur mom’ jokes out here

I love Rod Stewart’s raspy voice man. Orchestra’s great. This is beautiful lol

Gnarly dude got the guitar solo

Conclusion

I cannot be bothered to write some massive conclusion but most of the performances were great and emotionally powerful, especially Stormzy, Dave, Billie and Rod Stewart, and even those who were a bit crap performing were very funny on stage, like Lewis Capaldi. The on stage banter was really cringe-worthy but Jack Whitehall, Harry Styles and Lizzo had this really funny triangle going on. The outro with Ronnie Wood and the rest of Rod Stewart’s band was great, Stormzy’s extended performance was sweet. This was actually a pretty great BRITs, to be honest, and all of the winners, except a select few, deserved it, and if they didn’t, it was pretty expected. There could have been some more winners – off the top of my head, Slowthai and Little Simz weren’t even nominated, but hey, Tyler won. That’s great. The scorecard will be on Twitter. In the words of the BRIT Award winners in 2020, “errr yeah errr”, and thanks for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’)

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’)

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?)

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :(

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense

did anything else happen on the airship. ider

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH.

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof.

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN????

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen!

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’)

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit

PREDICTIONS:

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on

#gotta break up my thoughts somehow #wow these are gonna get so damn long espec if ruth and i end up binging a bunch of eps in a short period lmao #unrelated but god 'this must be the place' was just on shuffle which murdered me and now an emo-ass U2 song came on...bruh #anyways #lj watches hxh #hxh

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sorryparis-forihavesinned · 5 years

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DumbAss

I used to think I was smart, maybe I was and I’m doubting my memory. I worked so hard throughout middle school and high school. I worked and cared so much because I thought I was reaching for a goal that was going to make my life better. Turns out that goal was just another add on to all my problems. I wish I could go back, I wish I enjoyed it more, I wish I didn’t take it for granted and I wish I just was happy with what I had. But you never know what you have until it’s gone... I know, cliche but true though. I had no friends in high school, I worked, I slept, I drank and did my pills by myself. I was smart. I had good grade, I did well on tests, I had a good memory, I had a good gpa and teachers like me. Now, here I am, I can’t remember shit I did yesterday, I no little about history anymore and I’m beginning to lose interest in the one thing I loved, pop culture. Everything I say is wrong, I can hardly speak or pronounce words yet I’m 21 years old. Do you know how depressing that is? I can’t even fucking write anymore and while that was established at Lasell, it’s just gotten worse, and that’s all I wanted to do for so long in my life. I don’t know how I end up in these friendships where I allow them to walk all over me and make me feel worse about myself than I already do. My friends in high school did it, S did it at Lasell and now J here at Ringling. She’s everything I wish I was. Tall, beautiful, desirable, so so so smart, charismatic and charming I guess. At first I thought she was really funny, chill and genuinely had the same interests I had. But just like S, it turned into a more mean joking where I don’t know if she is actually joking or mad at me or not. She’ll call me disgusting if I like a food she doesn’t or a place that she doesn’t like. If I say any little piece of information wrong she yells at me calling me stupid and then has to fact check right there on the spot to call me out on my stupidity. This is always happens with friends. The friendship starts off strong and it fizzles out. They begin to get annoyed at me, get bored with me so they either lash out at me or ignore me. I get it, I’m a lot to handle and I don’t mean to be. So I shutdown and I shut myself away. I go into my room, lock the door and hide all day everyday. She really lashed out at me tonight. We were watching a show in her room and I got up to go get a drink from my bedroom and I hear her calling my name multiply times so i come back and ask, “what is going on” and she all frantic says, “theres a bug in my bed, im trying to see it, i cant find it i need your help omg” so as I stood by her light switches I turn one on. However, I turned the wrong switch on and that switch turns off everything so it turned off the tv and the Christmas lights. I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, I was trying to act fast so she could get the fucking bug. So she starts yelling, “you fucking idiot, omfg you’re such an asshole why would you do that, you’re such an asshole” So I stood there shocked and said, “yeah because I did that on purpose” and then she yells “i need to get up, get out, get out so i can get up, get out” (she was in a towel from her shower) so I got up and went to my room because if she was that pissed at me then why the fuck would you want to hang out with me after I fucked up? So, then a couple minutes later I hear her yell in an annoyed voice “are you seriously going into your room?” and then she texts me on how I was being ridiculous and how gay it is for me to go into my room for the rest of the night. She literally minutes ago just called me an idiot and an asshole and I’m supposed to just be okay with that and be like “okay lets continue the show, love ya sis!!” like no. I went back anyways just so i didn’t have to hear it. I drank my vodka and watched the show in silence. When it ended she had the nerve to turn to me and in a bitchy tone say “so what are we going do with this, are you just going to ignore it and act like it didn’t happen” and me, pissed off responded with “well, im sorry I turned the wrong fucking switch off” and then she went on about how she said sorry and she didn’t mean to freak out on me. So I made it known that it’s piled up over the past month or so and she blames that she is just tired all the time. I’m fine with her being tired and I knew this was going to happen the further she gets into her major and I told her that and I told her its fine if you’re bitchy because shes tired. She tried to play good cop saying that I don’t have to take her bitchiness like her being tired isn’t an excuse. But we all know it is, she wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t. I just want to go home, which sounds fucked considering how bad it is at home. I’m sick of the people here, I’m tired of being in my apartment depressed because of J all the time, I miss the north, I miss my dog and my mom, I miss not having stress or work or shitty professors. I’m dealing with so much, I can’t handle it anymore. Everything around me is falling apart and no one cares. We live in an era where you can be on social media talking about mental illness and supporting those who have it yet in real life no one gives a shit, people will shit on you for having issues, they don’t actually care, it’s all just an act. I’m so alone here, I’m getting closer to that line. I think about stepping in front the ongoing trucks when I walk to class, I think about drinking my entire bottle of vodka or taking all the pills I have in this room. Sometimes I’ll have moments where I’m not afraid and I want to so bad and then I have the moments where I’m too afraid. Not like anyone would care. J doesn’t give a shit about death, my dad and brother are high all the time so they won’t even give a shit. no one cares. i care so much and im living in a world where no one else gives a fuck. and I try, I fucking try to stop caring but i can’t, i fucking can’t and i hate myself for it. I just want to go back, I want to go back and change everything, i wish i could do it all again. There’s a reason why I don’t talk, there’s a reason why i’m not confident, there’s a reason why i’d rather sit in my bed all day, everyday. I don’t want to be around people anymore, I know I’m dumb therefore I don’t want to give people ammo by what I say and how stupid i say it. I grew up with a father who called me fat ass, disgusting, ugly from the age of 4 to the age of 16. i was beaten by him majority of my childhood and talked down to every time i opened my mouth. My brother would make sure I knew I was stupid when I opened my mouth. my sister beat me growing up. i saw death at such a young age and experienced failure. things happened to me that no one knows, things that i can’t even say outloud things that I haven’t come to terms with. things that have just recently, this year, have come back up in my head. things i chose to forget. i just want time to pause. i want people to understand and to listen. i think i’m finally beginning to understand it. i’m understanding why, now, why they did it. why they chose heroin, i understand. i can’t even handle 21 years of this life and my father handled 50 years of this before doing it. it’s just something to take this pain away. i know this pain and its so dark, so painful and tiring. if i knew, i would. i forgive. i forgive them, i forgive them. i understand now. if i could do the same i would. im dying inside, i feel it everday. my chest hurts and my heart tightens under my left breast. i keep getting bad nose bleeds, i get light headed. it’s taken its toll.

I’m sorry

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georgielou-50913 · 7 years

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a sad questionnaire

What do you wish was different?

My life. I wish things had turned out different, I wish my family wasnt so against me, i wish i wasnt so damaged, i wish i was a better person. i wish everything about my life was different, just not him. he is perfect. he is the ONLY thing keeping me alive, keeping me going. but god i wish things were different.

What’s the hardest part about that?

things cannot change. i am too damaged, and unless you can bring back my little girl i will never be able to feel any different. so im better off dead yeah? things could be a little different if i didn't live here. but thats not going to change for a very long time.

Are you thinking about anything bad that might happen?

so many things? so work hasnt been greatly lately i havent been getting the hours i need. my nan (who i live with) has basically told me if i cant pay the rent ill be homeless. my boyfriend has a big family and stays with his parents so theres nothing they can do for me, they dont have the room. i couldnt pay my rent last month, and i dont know if im going to be able to this month either. i cant afford to live in my own place nor can i make that decision because i dont know if ill ever be able to pay the rent. i am not getting any work, no where near enough. not even 200 quid per month. last month i earnt 140 quid, i get paid by the hour and theres no work. im trying so hard to find a new job but its not that easy anymore. shes making my life hell every single day and there is nothing i can do. if im homeless i will just throw myself off a bridge.

What was the sad bit there for you?

being stuck in this house, that i cannot change, being spoken down to every day, all day. getting inside my head telling me how useless and worthless i am, basically i was better off dead.

What are you thinking might go wrong here?

as above..... im going to become homeless, if not this month then next month? i cant pay everything, im in debt. i cant even pay my phone bill. i cant afford to pay anything, nothing at all. my boyfriend helped me last month and left himself in further debt. i cant do that to him, he cant afford to keep us both going when he sis struggling to keep himself going.

What else has happened that makes this worse?

my uncle recently went into hospital, and me and luke did absolutely everything we did to help him and my nan, but now that luke has no money and is running on barely any petrol.. i said i may not be able to help for a while and basically this has caused a huge storm at home for me, she will not allow my boyfriend in the house anymore and is basically ruining my life now, coming into my room several times a day to rip the shit out of me, reminding me every hour how much she hates me and i feel like im stuck in an incredibly bad emotional abusive relationship and there truly is no way out, im already stressed as it is, i keep breaking into tears all the time. i didnt say i WOULDNT help i just said that it was going to be a bit harder, i didnt deserve the way she spoke to me or the way she is treating me, especially luke.

Do you know why you feel upset about this, or do you just feel upset?

i think ive explained all that above. basically its a neverending thing of talking down to me and telling me how worthless i am and im fat, and stupid, and selfish, and evil and mean, i am better off dead. why was i even born? to suffer? why me.

What is the worst thing about that?

the worst thing is its my own nan who is making me feel this way. the one lady i have looked up to my whole life and would do anything for. and she is making me want to die.

What else is hard about that situation?

its put a lot of strain on all my other realtionships, i have tried to break up with luke on several occassions when that isnt even what i want to do. that is not what i want i just dont want him getting mixed up in all this situation. im trying to protect him aswell. but i dont want him to see me this way, ive lost my appetite i dont want to eat, im letting myself go completely i could just sleep all day, sleep forever.

Do you feel more sad/hurt/angry/worried about that or some other feeling?

ive suffered depression most of my life anyway but i always fight it you know? this time i cant shake it, ive been suffering for months and its getting worse, with a strong history of self harming i havent resorted to that yet, but its becoming more and more appealing, and this time ive relied more on alcohol than hurting myself, because self harm is only short term relief, alcohol lets me forget for the whole day and i can relax. i just dont think im going to break it this time.

Are you worried about people thinking this?

i dont really have anyone to talk to, i dont want lukes family thinking im a bad influence for him to be with, although they say they are there to listen, especially his sister, i dont want to be a burden and i dont want to vent all this on them, i dont want advice. i dont want help. well i do.... but what can they really do to help me? i have to be careful of what i write on social media.... i am not attention seeking, more like a cry for help.

On a scale from 1-10, how worried/upset/mad/scared/hurt are you about this?

10. .....way more than 10.. i want to die.

Okay, so how about compared to this other thing? What is worse

both the fear of being homeless and the constant abuse im getting by staying here. the fact of me being stuck in this house being told every day all day how worthless i am, is the worse, its classed as emtoional abuse, making someone want to die is bad. i dont know if she realises this is what she is doing. i cant really compare. not knowing whether im going to be homeless at the end of the month is terrifying, where will i go? i cant say which is worse, because both are as bad as eachother.

When you aren't busy/when you are lying in bed at night - what are the things that make you most upset?

not knowing whether im going to get work the next day, wondering if its going to be enough. wondering whether tomorrow will be easier, i share a room with my nan so i get constant abuse right from the minute i wake up to the second i fall asleep. its neverending.

Is there anything about this you feel embarrassed or ashamed about?

the fact that my own nan is ruining my life? tearing me apart. ripping my heart into pieces... ashamed. yes.

What are the some of the things you're worried people might be thinking about you?

i dont want her to tell people that i was selfish, i never said i wouldnt help. we have done so much for the past couple weeks, and before. she is making it sound like we did nothing, and that all we cared about was money, she barely gave us anything, and what she did was purely for petrol because we have absolutely no money atall... so its been incredibly hard. we did these things because we wanted to help. and shes thrown it all back in our faces. i cant forgive that. but now she tells people that i am selfish, that i did nothing to help. that i did not want to help and this was not the case atall.

How often are you feeling upset about it?

it doesnt go away, when i have her constantly reminding me all day that i am a worthless useless horrible evil nasty fat useless waste of space. it doesnt end. i am getting worse.

What do you wish you could change about yourself in all of this?

i wish i could be as special as my sister, she is so proud of her. i wish she could of been proud of me too, i made some mistakes in life, and i pay for them everyday. i wish you could be proud of me too. thats all i ever wanted to hear from you, not how you wish youd never adopted me into your home.

What makes you feel a bit better about all of this?

having luke by my side.

What's the most frustrating part of it all?

I cannot defend myself with the way she talks to me, because if i do id get thrown out in seconds. then what do i do? Ive also badgered on at my boss to give me more work, explained my situation and all they say is there is no more work to give me. ive been applying for other jobs for months and had a few interviews but its just not worked out. i dont know what else to do.

What do you think people don't understand about this?

there is only so much you can push someone. and i am at the very end, i speak to people but they just tell me to either ignore it or find another job. no it is not that fucking simple! how do you ignore someone who is constantly in your face reminding you of how shit you are every single day.

What would make this a little better?

if i could move into lukes house, he tells me if i become homeless that would happen, but i dont think he is right, his parents have already said theyd love to take me in but there genuinely is no room. i just want to get away fromt this place.

What is coming up in your week that will be hard because of this?

well i have another week till payday, that is the day i find out my fate i suppose. am i going to be homeless again..

When was the last time you cried about this?

today, ive lost count how many times ive cried today, cried myself to sleep last night, ive been crying everyday.

What helps you cope?

tumblr, online games, working, music, tv shows, anything to occupy myself. but its all short lived.

What times of day are the hardest for you?

the times im not working, today i have absolutely no work at all so i have t be stuck here all day listening to abuse. tomorrow i will be working in the morning then again tomorrow evening, then ill be staying at lukes house this weekend and ill be working over the weekend so ill not have much time to think about it. but during the day is the hardest. because i have to just endure it. waiting for the time to pass. tomorrow ill only have a few hours here. but ive still gotta get through the night.

#personal

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viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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