#if i didn't have my glasses so much of my daily life would be either way harder or impossible
Text
you're my tomorrow | j.ww
At first, you didn't think anything of it. Jeon Wonwoo was just a customer. However, his daily visits to your bookstore café started to become the highlight of your days. The little conversations here and there made you happy. It's because of him that you always look forward to tomorrow.
☕️ Pairing: customer!Wonwoo x cafeOwner!Reader
☕️ Rating/Genres/AUs: PG; Fluff with a sprinkle of angst, slice of life; Strangers to lovers, cafe au, non!idol au
☕️ Warnings: Reader is smaller than Wonu, ultra soft boi and supportive wonu *swoons*... can't think of anything else but ofc lmk otherwise
☕️ Word Count: 5k
☕️ Author's Note: Thank you to @justsomekpopstuff for giving me this plot idea! I def got carried away and wrote way more than I thought I would lol. I hope you enjoy it! Everyone thank JJ for the storyline ✨ Also, thank you Jess (@the-boy-meets-evil) for beta'ing and giving me amazing suggestions for some edits! 💗
Happy holidays to all (if you celebrate)! Stay safe and have a nice time 💖
seventeen masterlist | main masterlist
Monday
When the door chimes a little after eight at night, you know it’s him.
He strolls in, usual glasses perched on his nose and jacket layered with a few specks of snow. His hair isn’t styled, soft waves adorning his head. He looks like the average person who’s winding down from a long day at work. From the two and a half months you’ve known him, this is his usual state on Monday nights.
Wonwoo entered your cozy bookstore café nearly three months ago. His order rarely varies, and sometimes he orders a drink he could get anywhere else. Yet, for some reason, he always comes here.
And throughout those months, you’ve realized you always look forward to his presence.
“Busy evening?” he asks while stepping up to the counter.
You’re in the middle of packing a pastry for another customer and quickly hand off the bag to your coworker.
“More so than usual; it’s finals week,” you reply with a small smile.
Wonwoo glances around, nodding as he takes in the sight of many tables occupied by people with textbooks, laptops, and notes scattered around them.
“I don’t miss those days,” he chuckles.
“I don’t either,” you agree. “So, what can I get you today?”
Wonwoo peers up at the menu behind you. You wonder why he does so since he usually rotates between three drinks.
“A hot chocolate,” he replies.
“Oh?” You can’t hide your surprise.
He grins, tilting his head slightly. “Should I have ordered something else?”
“No!” you hastily say. “You can order whatever you want.”
He pulls out a bill that exceeds the cost of the order and slides it to your side of the counter.
“Just thought I’d try something new for the holidays,” he explains, then leaves to find a seat.
“Wait!” you call out, bill in your hand. “You paid too much!”
If Wonwoo can hear you, he pretends he doesn’t. He continues his journey and ends up in the corner next to a window by the bookshelves. He retrieves a book from his bag, opening it where his bookmark rests.
Your hand falls to the counter with a heavy sigh. You guess you’ll give him his change when you give him his order. Normally, you’d call customer’s names or numbers for pick-up. But Wonwoo is different.
Wonwoo’s one of the rare customers who gets his order hand-delivered.
After completing the transaction in the system and making his drink, you grab his change from the register and walk to his table.
“One hot chocolate,” you announce and set the cup down along with his change.
“I’ll take the drink,” he says and brings it closer, blatantly ignoring the cash next to it.
“Wonwoo,” you say.
“Yn,” he answers, eyes flickering up.
There’s a small smirk on his lips that makes your insides churn.
“You overpaid,” you simply state.
“So?”
You move his money closer. “So, take it back.”
Wonwoo slides the money back to you. “Consider it a tip.”
“You know we don’t take tips here,” you say, moving it again.
“You should. You all work hard.”
“People are already struggling as is. If they can find solace in a little place like this, that’s all that matters.”
Wonwoo rests his hands on top of yours, which is still on the money, and slides it back to you.
“Then consider it a holiday present. From me to you,” he smiles.
His hand feels warm on yours. Your eyes move down, but you wish you hadn’t.
His large hand nearly covers yours, making you feel small yet protected. You can tell from his build that he’s strong and fit. You wonder what it’d be like to get a hug from him.
“I—” you struggle to speak.
“It’d make me happy.”
You sigh, nodding hesitantly.
He slowly removes his hand. “Thank you.”
“N-No problem,” you say, gathering the change and pocketing it. “Enjoy your book and drink.”
“Thanks,” Wonwoo replies and picks up his book. He holds it up with one hand and uses the other to sip his hot chocolate.
You make your way back to the front, trying to ignore the lingering warmth on your hand and the feeling in your chest.
Tuesday
Wonwoo shows up at the same time but orders one of his usual drinks. It's a different book than yesterday and judging by the similar cover, it's probably the next one in the series.
Ever since Wonwoo “gifted” you money, you’ve been trying to think of something to get him. It’s a little tough considering you don’t actually know him. You know he works a duty-heavy job and that he lives nearby. You know he has a lot of friends despite him being so quiet. Although you’ve never seen Wonwoo and his friends in the same room, they often come with him to the café in duos or trios.
You also learned he’s an avid cat and gaming lover.
You were surprised about the latter.
“Is he also a student?” one of your new coworkers, Sebastian, asks thirty minutes after Wonwoo’s arrival.
You wipe off the cup in your hand and set it on the counter, calling the number associated with it.
“No, he graduated already,” you reply and watch him practice making a drink.
“You seem to know him. Are you two friends?” he wonders.
You lean against the counter. “I don’t think so. He’s just a regular here, so I’ve learned a few things here and there.”
“Ah,” he replies and hands you the finished drink.
You take the drink and start taking a sip to see how well he did.
“You should ask him out.”
You choke on the drink, eyes wide as you reach for a napkin to wipe your chin.
“T-That wouldn’t be appropriate,” you stammer.
He laughs and takes the drink from you. “He���s not working here, and it’s not like you’re paying for him to come by. I don’t see how it’s inappropriate.”
You sigh, knowing he has a point. It’s not that you’re not attracted to Wonwoo, but it feels almost out of line. Plus, you’re not sure if you like Wonwoo, or just like the thought of him. You haven’t been in a relationship in years and would be lying to say you don’t miss having a partner.
You miss being able to share life memories with someone.
Wonwoo’s handsome. He’s kind, funny, caring, and fit—not that that’s a big deciding factor, but it sure is a bonus. Though, do you just want someone with those attributes, or do you want him?
“Just think about it,” Sebastian suggests and greets a new customer.
Your eyes drop to your feet in thought.
Part of you worries you’d make it awkward if he says no. It’s not like you are friends, so you won’t be ruining a friendship, but you enjoy seeing his face every day. His simple presence is one of the highlights of your days.
Plus, you don’t even know if he has a partner already!
You groan, putting a hand over your forehead as you try to organize your thoughts.
“Bad night?” a familiar voice asks from over the counter.
You drop your hand to see who it is.
Wonwoo stands with his empty cup and saucer, book tucked under his arm.
“Ah, uh, not really,” you reply sheepishly. You can’t disclose the true reason for your state; you’ve never been the best liar either.
“Well, I hope whatever is troubling you passes soon,” he says and holds out his dirty dishes.
“You could’ve left them on the table,” you say, grabbing them from his grasp. Your fingers touch his, and it’s difficult not to feel like a silly teenager in the movies, especially with your current predicament.
“I know,” he smiles, “but I wanted to tell you bye, and you seem busy.”
You set the items in the sink before addressing him again. “Still… But thank you anyway.”
“The drink was great, as always.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he says, slowly stepping away from the counter.
You smile, nodding. “See you.”
His eyes linger on you before he turns and exits your café.
Wednesday
Wonwoo comes and goes as usual. It’s a busy night and you’re unable to speak to him much. It’s not the first time that has happened, so he doesn’t seem bothered by the lack of interaction. Regardless, you wish you could’ve spoken to him more.
That night was spent browsing the internet for the perfect gift for Wonwoo.
From gaming headsets to the top-rated books on Goodreads, you felt like you scoured every possible present for him. But none of them satisfied you.
It wasn’t until you came across bookmarks in your recommended section that you decided what to get him.
Maybe a bookmark was too boring, but you figured it was the safer option.
You spend over an hour searching for the right bookmark, but again, you come up short. They’re either too flowery, too plain, or too cliché.
In the end, you opt for making your own.
You find some DIY bookmark kits online and place an order. Trying not to second guess your decision, you call it a night—going to sleep as you brainstorm what to put on the item.
Thursday
“Do people actually read these books?” Wonwoo asks during your break, which you decided to spend with him.
Your gaze follows his to the wall lined with several bookshelves.
You chuckle, “Sometimes.”
“You said you got these books donated?” he asks, recalling an earlier conversation you had when he was a newcomer.
“Most of them,” you hum.
“Does your offer still stand?” he asks.
You turn to him with puzzlement.
He smiles. “You said I could take a book if I left one.”
“Oh,” you laugh out of embarrassment for forgetting. “Of course.”
Wonwoo nods and then stands up. He takes two steps to his right, then carefully plucks a book from a high shelf. He replaces the empty space with his own book.
Something about the simple act has your heartwarming. Or maybe it’s the way he’s so gentle with the books as if they’ll cry if moved too aggressively. You wonder if he’d touch you as carefully, if given the chance. Would you find comfort in his caresses the way you think the books would if they were personified?
Wonwoo sits in his seat again, perching his glasses higher after they slide down.
“Have you read this?” he asks, twisting the book so the cover faces you.
You analyze it for a moment, but the title doesn’t ring a bell.
Shaking your head, “Unfortunately not. I haven’t had the chance to read in a long while.”
“I guess running a business is time-consuming,” he teases lightly.
“How do you find the time? Didn’t you say your work is hard, too?” you ask.
He leans back in his seat, book resting in his lap.
“I make time,” he simply says. “I found it’s important to make time for things I care about.”
He’s staring at you in a way that makes you think there’s more to his words than he lets on.
“T-That’s a good habit, I suppose,” you say.
“When was the last time you did something for yourself, and not the café?” he questions.
Your brows furrow in deep thought. You thought the answer would come easily, but it doesn’t.
“I—I can’t remember,” you answer with your gaze down, a little dejected at the self-reflection.
Wonwoo sits up and leans toward you. He lowers himself until he can snag eye contact.
“Don’t be too harsh on yourself,” he reassures. “I know what it’s like to bury myself in my work.”
“You probably think I’m pathetic, huh?” you laugh awkwardly.
Wonwoo shakes his head.
“It’s good to be dedicated to something. Your efforts are clearly visible,” he gestures to your crowded café. “But at the same time, it’s also good to not burn yourself out.”
You nod in agreement. “I’ll try to be better.”
“Not for me though. For you,” he says.
You offer him a kind smile that he returns. “For me.”
Friday
Wonwoo doesn’t come at his usual time.
You finally finished his gift last night and are eager to show it to him. You try to suppress your excitement, but it’s difficult to calm your mix of emotions.
As you made it, you realized it was the first time doing something non-work related. Usually, you’d be researching new recipes, doing finances, or simply sleeping. Last night, however, you were doing something personal.
Wonwoo’s words from yesterday ring loudly in your ears.
It felt good to take a break from work.
It felt good to feel like an actual person and not some workaholic machine.
Some say people come into your life for a reason. Maybe you’d still be stuck in your cycle, if not for him.
You wish he were here.
Wonwoo’s usually a punctual man, so being this late sends uneasy nerves coursing through you. But, the idea of him not showing up at all is even more worrisome.
Perhaps he’s working overtime and will be here soon. He’s never missed a day.
Yet, as minutes turn into hours, you begin losing hope.
Excitement transitions into worry. This isn’t his typical behavior. You don’t have a way to contact him either.
Is he hurt? Does he need help? Did you say something wrong yesterday? Did he finally decide he doesn’t like your café anymore?
Perhaps you’re too caught up with giving him your gift that you’re overreacting. It could simply be a late, late night at work for him.
He’ll be here.
Even if he just grabs his drink to go, which he’s done in the past, he’ll be here.
The bell chimes as your last coworker leaves for the night.
Wonwoo’s present sat abandoned in your locker throughout your shift. There’s an odd discomfort in your chest as you stare at it now.
You’re not sure if it originates from being unable to gift it and see Wonwoo’s reaction, or if it’s because he never showed up.
Probably a combination of both, but more so the latter.
It’s uncanny to not see Wonwoo every day.
You had never thought about how you’d feel if you didn’t see him constantly. He was just always there. Always so reliable that you didn’t feel the need to consider what if.
What if he stopped showing up? What if you never saw him again? What if he no longer was a constant in your life?
You swallow the lump forming in your throat.
It’s a harsh reality to know he’s not required to visit. He can leave any time he wants. He can stop visiting your bookstore café at any moment.
There’s a strange thought about you not being good enough for him. Though, you’re not sure what that has anything to do with his absence.
Why would it matter if you weren’t good enough for him? He didn’t come to the café for you.
Did he?
If it was you he wanted, couldn’t he ask you out? Perhaps not as a romantic date, but as friends?
He never has, so he must not want to know you beyond the café. Meaning, he doesn’t come to it solely for you.
But, what changed for him not to show up tonight?
Unsettled with your thoughts, you decide to distract yourself with the final tasks you have to do before you leave.
However, the ride home is filled with more endless thoughts about Wonwoo.
Saturday
You come to work with less bounce in your step than usual.
The world outside seems dimmer. It feels as if the skies are going to be consumed with clouds and rain is going to fall. However, a storm was not in the weather’s forecast.
“Are you getting sick?” Sebastian asks.
You force a smile onto your face for the customer in front of you, handing them their order before looking at your coworker.
“No, why?” you wonder.
“You don’t seem well. Did you not sleep well last night?”
You wish you had, but you tossed and turned constantly. You didn’t think Wonwoo’s absence would affect you so much, but your mind kept wandering to every possibility for his no-show. In the end, you just gave yourself a headache.
“No,” you sigh, “but don’t worry about me.”
You try to smile again, but you’re sure Sebastian can see through it.
“Want me to close up tonight?” he offers.
“Don’t you have a big essay due tomorrow?” you question, remembering how stressed he sounded a few days ago.
“Yeah, but—”
“I’ll be fine,” you insist.
Huffing, he nods and grabs the cup from your hand. “Then go rest for a bit while I finish these orders.”
You purse your lips, contemplating arguing. In the end, you relent, moving to the backroom’s couch and plopping down.
You’ve been scrolling through your phone for ten minutes when you hear a familiar voice.
“Is Yn not here today?”
“Oh, she’s not feeling well, so she’s taking a break. Is there something wrong with our service?” Sebastian answers politely.
You shove your phone in your pocket and head to the door. There’s a small window that you peep out of.
You catch a glimpse of Wonwoo’s frown before he speaks again.
“No, everything’s fine. Will you tell her I hope she feels better?” he asks.
Sebastian nods slowly. Although you can’t see his face, you can see the cogs turn in his head.
“Oh! Ooh! You’re that guy.”
Wonwoo looks confused.
“I’m sorry?” Wonwoo replies.
“The guy that always comes in—”
Not trusting Sebastian to keep his matchmaking attempts at bay, you push through the door.
“Wonwoo,” you greet, trying not to seem too eager that he's here today even though you are.
Wonwoo’s eyes drift past Sebastian to see you. Instantly, his mouth begins to lift.
“Hey, you,” he says lightly, sweetly. “I heard you’re not feeling well.”
“Ah, I’m fine. Seb’s just overreacting.”
Sebastian narrows his eyes at you in a glare.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” he scolds.
“I’ve rested enough,” you shoo with a hand.
“Ten minutes isn’t long enou—”
“Seb, do you mind attending to the customers behind Wonwoo?” you interject.
Sebastian eyes you before grumbling under his breath—something about you being stubborn—then greets the next customer.
You move down the counter to an empty space.
“What can I get you?” you ask Wonwoo.
He shakes his head. “Actually, I just wanted to talk today, if that’s okay. I won’t be long.”
You want to say he can take as much time as he wants, but you hold back.
Concern creeps from the shadows around you.
Is he going to tell you he’s leaving forever? Does he not like your drinks anymore? Did he find somewhere better? Someone better?
“O-Oh, yeah, okay,” you mumble and maneuver around the counter.
You lead Wonwoo to his usual corner, next to the window and the bookshelves. It’s a little quieter here.
You both take a seat from across each other.
You fidget in your seat, nerves making you angsty.
“Are you sure you feel okay?” he asks.
“Just tired, nothing to be worried about,” you smile.
Something in your chest warms at knowing he cares about your well-being.
“Hm. Alright,” he replies a little skeptically.
“Is everything okay with you?” You try to change the subject. “You didn’t come in yesterday.”
Your voice trails off, not wanting to show how concerned you were about his absence. However, Wonwoo can sense it regardless.
He smiles, though the small lift at the corner of his mouth tells you he’s amused with your attempt to hide your worry.
“Did you miss me?” he wonders.
Your eyes widen a bit. “I—Well. I just noticed you didn’t come because you always come, you know?”
He nods with a subtle smirk still on his lips, yet it fades after a few seconds.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come,” he apologizes sincerely. “One of my friends was in the hospital.”
Your heart drops and guilt kicks in. It’s not that you didn’t consider the possibility, but you had been more focused on him not liking you or the café.
“Goodness, I’m sorry to hear that. Are they okay?” you ask, frowning.
“He had to get surgery, but he’s fine. Just a little grumpy and whiny,” he chuckles.
You feel better hearing his small laughter.
“That’s better than being in pain, I guess,” you reply.
“Yes,” he concurs. He waits for a beat then continues, “I wanted to ask you a question.”
You tilt your head.
A question. That sounds better than some statement about not seeing you again.
“Okay,” you say.
“When we last spoke, it was about you not having enough time for stuff outside of work,” he begins.
You nod to show you’re following but don’t cut in.
“Well, there’s this small event tomorrow. It’s nothing fancy, just some walking around. I wanted to know if you’d like to go with me?”
Your heart races as he speaks. You’re stumped for words. It’s as if you’ve subconsciously been waiting for this, but now that the time has come, you’re too nervous to answer.
“You can decline,” Wonwoo assures.
Although you’re anxious about the idea of meeting outside of the café, you don’t want to miss the opportunity.
“N-No! I mean, no, I don’t want to decline. What time? Where?” you hurriedly say before he can take back his offer.
He grins and holds out a small piece of paper.
You take it, turning it over to see scribbled numbers. You guess it’s his phone number.
“I can pick you up after work. You close early tomorrow, right?” he asks.
You nod, trying to hide your smile at him remembering your café hours. Though, since he visits frequently, you guess it shouldn’t be that surprising.
“Dress warm, okay?” he adds.
“Okay.”
Wonwoo stands from his seat, and you follow.
“Get some more rest tonight, Yn,” he says softly.
“Y-Yeah. I will,” you reply.
Although you’re no longer fretting over reasons for his no-show yesterday, you’ll be worrying about tomorrow now. Still, you’ll try to sleep—maybe even drink some tea or warm milk. You’ll try for him.
Sunday
Wonwoo comes to the café a few minutes before you close. He’s dressed in a fluffy hoodie layered with a light brown trench coat. He looks so…soft and warm.
Before you depart, you make a drink for each of you. He tries to pay but you profusely veto his offer.
The ride to the event is quiet except for the random music being played from his stereo. You’re unsure how long the ride is, but you don’t care. Even if you’re not speaking, it’s nice being with him in a new environment. It’s nice to see a different side of Wonwoo. And part of you hopes he likes seeing a different side of you too.
The event is free, but since donations are strongly encouraged, you and Wonwoo slip a few bills into the plastic reindeer before stepping onto the lit-up walkway.
People of all ages are enjoying the event. The walkway is wide enough to accommodate a couple of people at a time, but it’s still crowded. It forces you and Wonwoo to bump shoulders several times, and each time, you both apologize.
You notice a few minutes into the walk that he seems tenser than usual. You’re not sure of the reason, and he doesn’t seem inclined to disclose the answer.
You try to distract him by pointing out different features—from big blown-up Santas to mechanical reindeer moving up and down. However, it doesn’t seem too effective.
Wonwoo’s steps eventually begin to slow. He never comes to a complete stop, but with his slow speed, a lot of people pass by. Eventually, there’s a gap in the crowd and his body relaxes.
He must not be a fan of crowds.
“Can we sit for a bit?” you ask, not really needing to rest but there are picnic tables with fake candles on them nearby that are less crowded.
“Sure,” he says.
You guide him to an empty table and sit across from each other.
“Thank you for taking me here,” you smile while glancing around. “It’s so pretty.”
The area is filled with multitudes of holiday decor. There are so many lights strung that you don’t need streetlamps to see. It’s rather magical to see it all. It’s a shame you can’t see this all year round. But then again, it might lose its effect if you see it constantly.
“I’m glad you like it,” he replies.
His eyes drop to your hands clasped on the table. There’s a slight shiver in them.
Suddenly, his hands are covering yours—warmth instantly shooting up your arms from his touch. He says nothing as he rubs his thumbs along your cool skin.
You want to say something; however, it doesn’t feel like you have to, so you just stare at him, a small smile on your face while you bask in the warmth he’s providing.
“How does it feel?” he questions after a few minutes.
You open your mouth to say “good” and to thank him for taking away your coldness, but before you can, he speaks again.
“Getting out, I mean. How does it feel to get out of the café?”
“Oh.” Your face heats rapidly. Thank goodness for your slow reaction. “It’s refreshing.”
Wonwoo hums, nodding.
“Should we walk around again, or should we go? I don’t want you catching a cold,” he says.
“I’d like to see more if that’s okay,” you admit.
“It’s more than okay,” he reassures.
He starts to stand, but you grip his hands to stop him. He stares down at you bemused.
“I have something for you,” you explain.
He sits back down, hands leaving yours when you pull away to retrieve something from your bag.
It’s a small black box with a purple bow on it, albeit the decor is a little squished from being confined to your small bag.
“What’s this?” he asks and carefully brings the box nearby.
“Since you gave me a gift this week,” you say, referring to his tip on Monday, “I got you one as well.”
“You didn’t—”
“Need to? I know. But, I wanted to. And I worked hard on it, so accept it, please?” you say lightly so as to not sound too serious.
He smiles and nods, lifting the lid.
Inside is the bookmark you made him. On the bookmark’s center is a cat with a game controller. It’s simple, but that’s the best you could do with your lack of drawing skills. Attached to the bookmark is a purple tassel.
“You made this?” Wonwoo asks in amazement.
“I’ll only admit to that if you like it,” you say out of nervousness.
Wonwoo laughs and glances at you. “I like it a lot.”
“Then yes, I made it.”
His gaze shifts to the item again, examining it closely for a bit. Then, he sets it back carefully in the box and puts it in his pocket.
“Thank you,” he says earnestly.
“Of course,” you smile.
You and Wonwoo walk around for twenty more minutes before you call it a night. Throughout the entire walk, he held your hand in his free pocket. The warmth from his body combined with his sheltered pocket made your hand clammy. You felt embarrassed at the fact, but Wonwoo refused to release his hold. Truthfully, you didn’t want to let go, but you also didn’t want him to be disgusted at the feeling.
Wonwoo drove you back to your café where your car was.
You tried to demand he stay in your car since he parked next to yours, but he still climbed out.
You stare at his eyes which are framed by his glasses; his cheeks are slightly rosy from the temperature. His dark hair dances softly in the wind. He looks so handsome.
Wonwoo leans forward and connects his lips ever so softly against your cheek. You have the urge to turn your face and capture his lips with yours, but you don’t.
There’s something romantic about going slow.
Wonwoo pulls back with a kind smile.
“You look beautiful tonight, Yn,” he whispers, breath ghosting your face.
You can’t stop the smile forming on your face even if you tried.
“And you look handsome,” you reply.
Wonwoo mirrors your grin.
“Get home safely, alright?” he instructs.
You nod. “You too.”
You unlock your car and climb inside.
Wonwoo lingers outside, watching with his hands in his pockets.
After starting your car and rolling down your window, you lean out and prop your head on your arm that’s resting on the edge.
He bends slightly to see you better, a small grin on his mouth. His face isn’t too close, but it’s closer than it should be for an average person. But, Wonwoo isn’t average.
He’s quiet for a while, and you take the time to observe his features again. Your heart is thumping loudly in your ears. The desire to kiss him resurfaces.
Maybe you’re starting to like Wonwoo. Not just because he’s attractive, kind, funny, and caring, but because he’s Wonwoo.
Wonwoo, who’s been a frequent customer at your café for months.
Wonwoo, who’s always been supportive and kind.
Wonwoo, who’s slowly capturing your heart.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks with a smile still on his face.
“Yeah,” you say, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Because of Wonwoo, you’re always looking forward to the next day.
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Don’t fuck us up with ToE when you come back.
I’m back bitches. Here’s another update for Terms of Endearment for you. This one isn’t too angsty, but there’s so much more too come. Let dive a little deeper into Fe & Jakes friendship, while also exploring Bradley’s love. 🥺
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“Your mum hates me doesn't she?” The metal room. That's where you could be found most lunch breaks. You weren't one for small talk or interactions with kids you knew didn't like you. Using your hands to create things though? That brought you a small sense of peace from the everyday dysfunctions of your home life.
“Nah.” Jake replied with a mouthful of his sandwich, sitting on top of the bench across from where you stood working on your latest project. The sandwich he brought you from home sat unwrapped but untouched next to you. Too focused on what you were working on to eat. You'd always been good with your hands. “She's just worried I'm gonna knock you up or something.” It was a joke, but you knew that in the midst of it all, there was a slither of truth behind it. Jake's mum had started to grow a genuine distaste for you recently, although she'd been the closest thing to a mother you ever had. “Doesn't want any more Seresin mouths to feed.”
“I'm not my mum.” You answered with a scoff. Still focusing on using the angle grinder in your hands. Pushing the safety glasses up the bridge of your nose a little more when they slipped down. “Thirteen with my brother on her hip.” Jake had only met your mother a handful of times, so little in fact he could count the interactions he had with her on one hand.
“Thirteen huh?” Jake was quick to raise a brow as he heard the door click open behind him.
“Yep, twelve when she got pregnant.” You were determined to make a life for yourself, you didnt want to be the drug fucked mum with six kids who couldnt stand her who got daily beatdowns just for existing. You didnt wanna be like Frank either, a drug addict alcoholic. But it was hard to escape the slums when it's all you'd ever known. You'd heard some of the guys Jake played football with call you the Ghetto whore just the other day. “Not me though.” Jake had questioned you when they both showed up to practise a day later with broken noses.
Just as Jake was about to ask another question about your mum, he turned his head over his shoulder to see Mr. O’mullane standing there, just waiting for the right moment to interrupt.
“What the hell is that Y/l/n?” He asked with a ruff voice as the angle grinder slowed to a halt. Jake just sat back and watched the interaction unfold as he ate his lunch.
“This?” You smirked, knowing you could say just about anything and it would go straight over the top of Mr. O’mullanes head. “This is a helium-neon laser, I'm gonna perform lasik on near-sighted neighbourhood kids. Fifty bucks a pop.” Jake couldn't help but to laugh as he watched you size up with Mr. O’mullane. You weren't lying though, it was a helium-neon laser. “I’m just fucking with you sir, well–about charging fifty bucks a pop I was, I’m actually gonna–” Mr. O’mullane didn't let you finish before he was shaking his head with a sigh and holding the bridge of his nose. He didn't know why he had a soft stop for you–but he did. Unlike your two older brothers, you seemed to have your head screwed on enough that you wanted to do well in life. Fix the hand you were dealt. You just didnt know where the fuck to start.
“What are you doing this summer?”
“Probably pretty much what I did last summer.” You answered, the project you had been working on for most of the semester was almost finished. You'd put your name down for some stupid back alley robot war. Winner took home two grand in prize money. You were going to use the money to go towards the property tax bill that was coming up. “Drink too much beer, smoke a lot of weed–”
“Yeah, nah that ain't gonna work.” Mr. O’Mullane was the school's guidance councillor, it was his job to guide youth into adulthood and keep them on the straight and narrow. “You're gonna pad your resume for your college apps this summer.” He’d always had a particularly hard time doing his job when it came to your older brothers. “You're a poor kid from the slums and you got a 4.8.” Jake nearly choked on his sandwich as he raised his eyebrows and shot you a look of shock over Mr. O’s shoulder. You'd never actually told Jake what your GPA was, his eyes went wide when he heard Mr. O’mullane say it out loud. “That's great and all kid but you're gonna need a full ride.”
You couldn’t help but to laugh, the whole GPA thing was such bullshit. Letting grades, numbers on tests for idiotic facts define what you could and couldn’t do was such a prehistoric ideology.
“What's so goddamn funny?” Mr. O hissed as he watched you go back to messing around with a few loose wires that needed tidying up.
“Nothing sir.” You mumbled, keeping your head low as you focused on the work in front of you. Jake had always enjoyed watching you work with your hands, a world away. “It's just–um, why does everyone think I'm going to college?”
“Dummy–!” Mr O’Mullane was quick to swat the top of your head with the papers he was holding, shaking you to look up and focus on what he was saying. “Your going to fucking college kid—and you’re gonna graduate, and then you’re gonna get your masters and your doctorate and then you’re gonna make a boatload of money.” You didn’t answer, you simply stood there wondering why this guy cared so much about you and your future—no one had ever given a shit about you. Well, except Jake Seresin. “So spend the summer padding your resume, or so help me christ kid I will shove my foot so far up your goddamn ass you'll be licking my shoe clean, understood?” Mr O was a balled, ageing man. He had no time to dick around with adolescents he knew were lost causes.
He was nearing the end of his rope with you when he was informed you’d recently been arrested and charged with assault of a police officer. He knew you’d brothers had been involved—somehow you always got involved. At least the charge was juvenile and could be expunged from your adult record if you kept your nose clean.
“Uh–doing what exactly?” You asked. Jake was still looking at you like he didn’t even know you, how the fuck did you have such a high GPA when you never attended classes let alone studied? He studied he fucking ass off day in day out just to retain an ounce of information.
“I dont give a shit?” Mr. O’Mullane sighed, turning on his heels as he made his way back to the door. “Teach brain-damaged kids how to make plastic explosives or show the blind how to blow glass–” He wasn’t in the mood for your antics. “Just do something, Y/n—for crying out loud.”
It was silent for a moment as he waited by the door with his hand clasped around the handle for you to respond.
“You know, I already have my sights set on a few hundred hours of community service.” The corner of Mr. O’mullanes lips turned upright into his cheek for a second. He’d cracked you. So he thought.
“Okay–that's a start, just get it done.” He smiled, leaving the metal room as you mumbled under your breath and went back to working on the robot in front of you.
“Courtesy of Cook County juvenile court system.” Jake was still caught up on the whole GPA thing, jumping off the bench he’d been perched on for the better half of lunch to question you further.
“You got a 4.8?” Jake was seething. “My GPA is like a 4.1, How smart are you?”
“Clearly smarter than you, Seresin.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Spacious, Clean, Perfect. Three words you’d use to describe the empty house you and Bradley stood in. You haven't spoken much since Jaidyn had interrupted you in the car park, dropping the bombshell that he would be your new neighbour if you were to sign on the dotted line and accept the staff accommodation the Navy was willing to put you and your daughter in.
Rooster had never seen you shift so quickly, going from the bright and bubbly person he knew you could be to completely introverted. Not speaking a single word to anyone that was anything but necessary. You barely spoke to Julia at the admin desk when you went to collect the keys and paperwork for the house you had been put down for, Rooster did most of the talking. It had been the same at daycare pickup with Dot, you hasn’t even gotten out of the car as you sat in the passenger side seat chewing on your cuticles–looking all kinds of distressed and panicked.
“It sure is big.” Rooster cooed as he looked around, spinning the set of keys around on the index finger that was free. “Whatever you wanna do Fe, I'm with you on it.” Dot was in her favourite place these days, Bradley Bradshaw's hip. Oh so tired after a big day at daycare. She’d become increasingly clingy over the last few days, always wanting Tooster first. Before anyone—even you sometimes. “Whatcha reckon Dot? You reckon you and mum should post up here? Bet we could paint your room any colour you wanted?” Bradley is quick to smile against your little girl's cheek, kissing her soft rosie coloured cheeks until she was letting out a soft giggle. Curling into his neck to escape his kisses.
“Dop it Tooster—“ Dot mumbled against his shoulder as she turned her head, looking for you as you stood still in the middle of the foyer. Paperwork in your hand, all yours to sign if you wanted it.
“Y/n?” Bradley turned his attention back to you, noticing the way your eyes threatened to water. He swore for a split second he saw your bottom lip quiver. “You okay there baby?”
You didn't answer, you simply kept your lips pressed tight in a line as you tried to keep a level head about things. It was such a beautiful home, just perfect for you and Dot. The kitchen was open plan with a big island bench. The living room was comforting and warm from the new carpet that had just been redone. The master bedroom was spacious and even had a walk-in wardrobe with a pretty little onsite that had a shower just to die for. Dual shower heads all.
“I uh–” You choked out as you felt your knees give in, deciding that the floor looked comfortable enough to take the burden of your breakdown. Cupping your hands over your face to hide your tears, just crouching down in the middle of the empty home that should have been, could have been all yours. “Fuck this.” The paperwork crumbled in your hand stood no chance against the tears that fell. “I was so close Rooster, so fucking close I could taste a better life and then that fucker shows up again and–” Its hard to speak when all you want to do, all you can do is cry. “Fuck him.”
There's a part of Bradley who wants to take a jab at you about swearing so absentmindedly around your two year old. But he doesn’t, he knows now isnt the right time to fuck around.
“It doesn't have to not be yours.” Bradley came to sit beside you, moving Dot into his lap before she decided now would be a good time to go on an adventure, padding across the hardwood flooring, talking to herself as she explored. “Still can be, we’ll just put up some extra cameras to make sure he won't try anything.”
“Yeah, because CCTV is gonna stop him from bludgeoning me in my sleep, Rooster.” You snapped, clearly on alert and frustrated that this was happening. “If I move in here, I'm as good as dead, only a matter of time.” A thought popped into Bradleys mind that he hadn’t registered in the realm of possibility. He opened his mouth to speak but quietly closed it—he didn’t want to add to the existential crisis you were in the middle of. Decided in the moment he’d ask Jake his opinion before asking you in a blur of emotional turmoil and distress.
“Okay, alright.” Bradley cooed as you pulled you into his side, letting you cry your heart out in the middle of the empty house. “Why don't we just go back to Jakes and talk and figure out our next move yeah?”
“Oh, oh god Jake is gonna lose his mind.” You laughed, sobs quickly turning from deep and guttural cry’s to laughter that was uncontrollable and damn near maniacal. “He was more excited about this than I was.”
“He’ll understand sweetheart.” The ease that the term of endearment fell from Roosters lips made you swoon for a brief moment. Leaning into Bradley as you tried to calm down. Dot coming back to you as you opened your arms for her to drop into, snuggling into your chest as you leaned into Bradley. Your little family—lovingly and gentle, sitting in what could have been, what should have been your new home.
“Hopefully, because it looks like he’s gonna have a house mate on a more permanent basis.”
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Jake knew if he didn’t do something to help push you in the right direction, that you could end up falling into the same cycle of drugs and alcohol as your parents and your older brothers. He knew deep down you wanted to make a better life for yourself, wanted to escape what you’d only ever known. Your family struggled below the poverty line on a good day. You deserved so much fucking better than what this world had given you. And he loved you far too much to see you waste whatever potential you had.
Knocking his knuckles against the guidance counsellor's door, Jake was greeted with a mumble.
“Come in.” Mr. O’Mullane wiped his mouth with the few napkins he had sitting on his desk as Jake walked in. “Oh. I’m pleasantly surprised to see you at the counsellors office, Jacob—please.” Mr. O gestured at the empty chair across from his desk as Jake slung his bag into the ground at his feet. “Sit down.”
“I uh, I came to talk to you about Y/n—“ He wanted to cut right to the point, there was no need for small talk, Jake knew Mr. O saw him sitting there with you in the metal room. He knew you two were close. Best friends. “She needs help.”
“I’m not at liberty to discuss another student.” Mr. O sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “But I’d be more than happy to help you with your future options, kid.” Jake wasn’t going to sit and talk about anything other than you, you were the reason he was here. He wanted to help you. Whatever way he could. His mother kept telling him you were dragging him under, but what she didn’t see was that you were just clinging onto Jake to stop you from drowning. Your lifeline, your best fucking friend since kindergarten.
“She thinks her only options in life are getting pregnant or arrested sir.” Mr. O had seen a lot of kids come and go from his office, all searching for guidance to some extent or another, but he’d never had a kid sit across from him and want to help another student like Jake Seresin wanted to help you.
“Okay, well.” Mr. O just sighed, levelling with the teen who sat before him. “She’s got a good chance, she’s smart—just needs a solid kick up the ass to point that out to her.”
“And what are you doing about it?” Jake shrugged, leaning forward to push his index finger into the wood of Mr. O’s desk.
“Encouraging her to go to college—but she doesn’t seem to be too involved now does she.”
“You’re the guidance counsellor! Guide her!” Jake raised his voice, he was sick of people only giving you half an inch of effort. “You know she’s smart, so you should be guiding her.”
“There’s only so much I can do kid, you know that.” Mr. O’Mullane just sighed, reaching out for another bite of his lunch.
“Alright.” Jake was growing tired of the run around he was getting. “Well, what should she be doing then?”
“Eh.” Through a mouth full of tuna sandwich, Mr. I explained what you needed to be focusing on to Jake, he should have been telling you. “She should be keeping her grades up, getting teacher recommendations, finding herself a legitimate job, filling out her college applications.” Jake knew he could help with all that, he could even help you get a job down at the corner store with him on the weekends and after school. “Think you can help with any of that?”
“Maybe.” He mumbled, looking down at his shoes because all he ever wanted to do was help.
“Well all right then, if you stop by again at the end of the day I’ll pull some college brochures you can take with you.” Mr. O just smiled, he saw a little hope for you shining back at him through the eyes of Jake Seresin, a soul that would never leave you behind. “Maybe you’ll have a better chance at getting through to her than I did.”
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“Oh I totally forgot!” You groaned out as Rooster pulled into the drive of Jake's home, blocking in the black Nissan Micra parked in the drive. “I look like a crackhead Rooster—“
“What’s Bob doing here?” Bradley questions as you unclip and hope out the car, racing around to grab Dot from her new car seat.
“We organised to go for a run this afternoon after we were done checking out the house.” You explained as you let out a little huff when you popped Dot down on the ground, watching as she made her way over to the front door. “I look like a mess—“
“You’re still as beautiful as ever.” Bradley wrapped his arm around your shoulders, reaching in to grab Dots purple backpack. “I’m kinda offended you didn’t ask me to go for a run mama?”
“Oh I don’t think you could run in a straight line with that black eye Bradshaw.” It was the first time this afternoon that Bradley saw you smile, he revelled in it as you walked towards the front door together. He couldn’t help but to press a loving kiss to your temple, his flight suit tied around his waist. “Bradley?” You stopped in your tracks just outside the front door.
“Yeah darlin?”
“I really do love you—so much.” It made Rooster's heart burst out of his chest, sending it clear out of this world. “Thank you for just being you, I guess.” Cupping your cheeks, Rooster leaned in with a smirk painted kiss that had you melting into him. Despite everything going on you knew, for once, you were truly loved.
“I’ve never loved anyone more than I love you.” Bradley knew his mother was watching over him, he knew his father was guiding him in the right direction. They’d brought you and Odette to him. The loved of his life.
“Hey!” Jake called out from the kitchen. “You two need to fucking see the shorts this man turned up here in.” Jake had been ripping into Bob for the better half of half an hour. “Never seen a pair of thighs as white as Floyd’s.”
Wooden floors, walls and window sills. Jake's house had always been warm and inviting to you. He had tables and chairs worn by all of the dust, before you showed up it had just been him. Now there was always someone over, something happening.
This was the place where you didn’t feel alone, this was the place where you felt at home. You didn’t need a new house, with new carpet and clean windows. You just needed your family.
“They’re running shots!” Bob gruffed back as he turned to face you and Bradley. “Next time can we meet at—“ There was a silence that fell when Bob and Jake noticed the look on your face. Something was wrong, your eyes were all puffy like you’d been balling. “What’s wrong?”
“Fe? Everything alright?” Jake paused what he was doing, slicing up mini cucumbers for Dot's afternoon snack. “Rooster?”
“Bob, do you mind if we do this another day?” You cooed, barely audible as you faught of yet another bout of tears. “I think I’m just gonna get Dot in the bath and head to bed.” Jake knew something was seriously wrong by the look in your eyes. He turned his attention to Rooster for a second, eyeing off the man who still had his arm flung over your shoulder to make sure it wasn't him or something he had done.
“Uh, yeah—no sure, no problem.” Bob replied before you were scooping up Dot, without another word you were turning to kiss Rooster, his lips soft and apologetic against yours before you were heading upstairs. “She okay, Rooster? It looks like she's been crying?”
“Was the house not livable or something?” Jake asked as he took a bite of one of the mini cucumbers he'd been cutting up. Bradley just rubbed his hand through his hair, pushing it back and away from his forehead. Sauntering over to the kitchen, making a Beeline for the fridge, grabbing a beer for him and a beer for Jake, not even bothering to ask Bob if he wanted one. It was always no.
“Or something–” He ticked his chin to the side as he popped the cap off the top of the beer, taking a sip. “Turns out Jaidyn is her neighbour.” Jake thought he’d entered some fucked up episode of the twilight zone, there was no way.
“Surely not–”
“Sure as shit he is.” Rooster scoffed as he took another sip, leaning back against the kitchen island. “She cant move in there, she’s too scared he’ll fuck with her, with Odette.”
“She's not gonna get another house Bradshaw, not one works gonna up her up in.” Jake groaned, of fucking course this would happen. “God she's been waiting for a house since she started work and he gets put in one before her?” Jake was pissed, he was pissed for you and he was pissed at Jaidyn for being a thorn in your side. “She can stay here but her and Odette are gonna outgrow that room soon.”
“Why don't you ask her to move in with you, Rooster?” Bob pipped in, pushing his lips together to keep the frog in his mouth. It wasn't his place to have an opinion on this. Jake shook his head when he let out a scoff at the ridiculousness of Bob's suggestion, But Rooster? He stayed silent, the answer was written clear as day across his moustache having smug face. He was going to. That was his plan, he just wanted to talk to Jake about it first.
“You aren't serious bro–” Jake was just about ready to wipe his hands clean of this whole thing. “You know if you do that then that's it, if you do this and things go south for you and Fe i'll choose her side over yours any day of the week.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to do anything less.” Bradley smirked as he took the beer to his lips. “But remember, you were the one who wanted her out of your house in the first place? Isn’t that why you set us up to begin with?”
“I was messing around!” Jake groaned out in defeat as Bob just watched Jake and Bradley interact. If you had told him he’d be standing in Jake Seresins kitchen watching him and Rooster bicker like brothers in arms he would have told you that you were crazy. “My god, I’ve aged like five years since you two fucking got together—I swear!”
“Hangman, you aren’t her dad.” Bob once again put his foot into a conversation he thought he was intruding on.
“No, I’m not Bob—“ Jake hissed as he turned to Bob. “But I’m the closest thing she’s got because her dads a genuine grade A alcoholic addict who spews in the cutlery drawers after nights out.” Jake would never forget the one time he stayed the night at your place after a big Saturday night party, his mother scolded him for it but Jake was more than happy to never want to stay at your house again. “So my apologies if I’m apprehensive about her shaking up with Bradshaw here after dating for five minutes!”
“You know I’m gonna ask her to marry me one day too.” Bradley snickered to himself, knowing the ambition would send Jake over the edge. “How does that make you feel, big guy?”
Jakes felt his heart skip a beat inside his chest when he registered what Bradley Bradshaw had just said. Jake knew if anyone roaming this earth was good enough for you it was the moustache having pain in the ass Naval Aviator who’d been family deprived for far too long. But Jake wasn’t about to give Bradley an ego boost he knew he didn’t need. So he scoffed and rolled his eyes instead.
“Like I need a fucking pepto bismol.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
“Okay, play with your dollie sweetheart, mum needs to wash your hair.” Two birds with one stone. That's what had gone through your mind when you decided you would jump in the bath with Odette. Bubbles galore and saving on water usage.
“Otay mumma.” Dot was more than happy to sit in the bath amongst the ample amount of bubbles and play with her bath toys while you took a cup of water to her hair and held her forehead to stop the water running into her eyes. She was a good kid, a far better kid than you ever were.
A gentle knock echoed through the bathroom as you worked to wash your daughter's hair.
“Yeah?” You answered to the knocks that sounded like two knuckles brushing against the panelling.
“It's me–just checking to see if you’re alright?” Rooster let his forehead rest against the door as he contemplated if he should open it or not, an iced coffee in hand knowing you would usually be making one right about this time before settling down to get your next day schedule done. “Mind if I come in?” There was a pause between when Bradley asked and when you decided to answer that he thought just maybe he should leave you to be for a while. But then you answered and it made the corner of his lips into a smirk.
“Enter at your on risk Bradshaw–” He did so cautiously, peering his head in before stepping through the threshold, making sure to shut and lock the door behind him.
“Woah, where's Odette in all these bubbles huh?” It made you smile how Bradley always interacted with your daughter first and foremost whenever he entered a room, she was an extension of you and deserved all the love she got. “I thought you said you were giving Dot a bath?” Rooster cooed as he leaned over to kiss the top of your head before he sat down on the tiles beside the bath.
“I'm here Tooster, I’m here!” Dot wiggled around, making you drop the cup you had in your hand as she wiggled herself around in between your legs to climb into your lap, splashing bubbles up every which way as she did so. “I'm here!”
“Oh there you are.” Rooster rolled his eyes playfully as he scooped up a handful of suddy bubbles and placed it on top of her head. “I couldn't see you amongst all these bubbles, sorry Dotty.” You couldn't help but to laugh at the interaction, Rooster was just a natural with her. As soon as Dot was satisfied that she hadnt been looked over, she was quick to fall back between your legs, back to you, and suddenly all she cared about in the world was making sure her dolls loved each other. “Hey there Mama–” Rooster cooed, finally turning all his attention on you.
“Bradley, to what do I owe this bathroom drop in?” Rooster was trying to not let his eyes wander down too far, your tits on full display above your water, covered in bubbles. He was only human after all and fuck did he find incredibly attractive. “Eyes up here.” You smirked wildly, knowing the effect you had on Rooster.
“I brought you coffee.” Rooster stared at your nipples for a few more seconds before he shook the nasty thoughts from his mind, holding up the glass full of vanilla iced coffee for you to take a sip from. “And I wanted to ask you something.” Rooster could feel his heart racing inside his chest as he leaned over the side of the bath, going over the logistics of water displacement in his head because jumping in the tube right now seemed like a good idea. There was room, he was sure of it.
“Yeah? And what would that be?” You asked softly as you went back to washing Dots hair, working a small amount of toddler sensitive shampoo into her dark locks. Fuck it, Rooster was lifting his shirt up over his head before he knew what he was really doing. Untying the flight suit that was still wrapped around his waist. “What are you doing?”
“Shove up, I'm hopping in.” He smiled, standing to strip off the Normex suit from his legs, boxer briefs and all shimming down his thighs, suddenly you were at eye level with Bradley junior and you weren't made about it at all. “Shove–”
“I was actually enjoying this before you came in here.” You were only teasing, But as you did Rooster was climbing in behind you, watching as the water rose and damn near spilled over the edge. It didn't though, it only just lapped at the lip of the bathtub. “Jesus Rooster, it's up to her bloody neck now!”
“She’ll be right.” It was the way Bradley pulled you closer to him by the small of your waist that had your cheeks heating up. The soft kisses he left against your shoulder when your back hit his chest. “Now listen, you can say no, this is just me throwing out the option okay?”
“I don't know if I like it when you think Bradshaw, but sure, what's rattling around in that brain of yours.” You had to laugh when Bradleys grip around your waist tightened a little, hugging you from behind as you worked to rinse Dots shampoo laced hair.
“There's a house a few streets over that has three bedroom, two bathrooms.” Bradley started, kissing up the expanse of your shoulder, before moving slowly up your neck. “It's got a courtyard out the back that needs a little tender loving care but it wouldn't be too hard to fix up.”
“It's a private rental though isn't it?” You mumbled, you didn't think you had the energy to talk about your housing crisis right now.
“Nope, its government owned and currently occupied by government property.” Bradley smiled against your supply skin. “It's mine, and I want you and Odette to move in with me instead of next door to that dickhead ex of yours.” You froze, Bradley felt you stiffen in his arms. He didn't dare move an inch until you did, watching as you reached out for the conditioner after a few moments.
“Why would you want us to move in with you?” It wasnt that you didn't trust Bradley Bradshaw, it's just you felt yourself falling for him harder than you'd ever fallen for someone before, which with your current track record, made it hard to trust, to open up. “Single mum with a two year old on her hip? Just take it from Jake, we don't exactly make good company when you wanna bring some girl home from the bar.”
“Listen here mama–” Bradley waited until you had finished running the conditioner through Dot's dark curls before he was using his index finger to tilt your head to the side, kissing your cheek as he did so with love and admiration. “You are the only woman I'll ever take home again.”
“Rooster–” You tried to debate it, but Bradley was placing his lips on your just to shut you up.
“If I had a ring.” That was a lie, Bradley had his mothers engagement ring tucked away in his bedside table. He’d had it since she passed. From the first time he saw you he knew you were gonna be his future wife. Jake had smacked him upside the head when he asked who the pretty one was playing darts. Told him to say at least fifty metres away from you at all times, now look at him? He's tucked away in the bath with you between his legs. In Jake's house, asking you to move in with him. “I'd ask you to marry me right now, but the timing just doesn't seem right, so level with me real quick, you and Dot moving in with me doesn't seem like the worst possible scenario out of the options you've got if we lay them out on the table does it.” Bradley started to kiss up and down your neck again when you turned back to wash the conditioner out of Dot’s hair. “You don't have to say yes baby, and you don't have to give me a response now, but the offer is there and it's genuine and I'd really love to wake up with you every morning.”
“Ill uh–I'll think about it, okay?”
“That's good enough for me mama.” Rooster cooed, settling into the warmth of the bath a little more as he pulled you down against his chest, Dot playing at his feet. “That's good enough for me.”
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
“It's a busy time of year, end of semester.” Mr O’mullane smirked wildly as you and Jake followed him down the hall into his office. “I have to let a litany of underachievers know they'd best be advised to cut their losses and learn a trade.” He gruffed, stepping into his office as he held the door open for the pair of you. “Something that utilises their backs instead of their brains.” But it wasn't long before he was reaching into the top drawer of his desk, looking at the piece of paper he held in his hand. “It's moments like this though, that makes the job worth it.” He scoffed. Walking around from his desk to meet you and Jake as you both stood still, side by side.
“Crap pay, miserable working conditions, but the chance to change–” He paused, handing you the graduation certificate as he smiled. “One special kid's life. Congratulations.”
“Uh–” You smiled for a brief second, looking down at your name plastered across the paper that meant fuck all to you because you never thought youd actually get it. “Guess this is where I'm supposed to, uh, thank you for never giving up on me, heh.”
“I wouldn't thank me kid, i'd be thanking your friend here, he's the one who never gave up on you.'' Jake knew you had no intention of going to graduation, you didn't really have any reason to if there wouldn't be a single person there to cheer you on. So he came with you to the guidance counsellor's office just to see the moment you got your certificate. “But just so you know, teachers are taking bets on what comes next for you–College, 10-to-1. Or Prison 4-to-1.”
“I was kinda thinking about an engineering course–” You replied softly, smiling across at Jake who was already smiling back at you. You'd done the work, but he'd been the one to help you do it.
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt t @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87 @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse @avaleineandafryingpan @phoenix1388
#terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw#terms of endearment// jake seresin#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw angst#bradleybradshaw#rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley rooster bradshaw#jake hangman x y/n#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin x reader
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Greetings! First off, thank you for your work, you are all absolutely amazing and I admire you so much!
After season 2, I was wondering whether you happen to know fics where Crowley helps out with work in the bookshop; dealing with customers and stuff?
Thanks, I hope you have a lovely day!
Hello! I can't find loads, but here are some post-series two fics in which Crowley at least remains at the bookshop...
Love Of My Life, You've Hurt Me by azi_xiii (G)
Crowley returns to the bookshop after the angel's departure to heaven.
Our Future Was Never Ours by dipshitfromhell (NR)
Things were over between them. Aziraphale chose Heaven and Crowley was left with nothing. They both knew what that meant and what it entailed but despite that, Crowley still clung onto a hope that he would come back. He moved into the bookshop with Muriel and took care of it for twenty years. He closed down the shop permanently and shut himself off to the world. He couldn’t open himself up to anyone after what happened.
After waiting for so long though, many unexpected things happened. A friendship with Muriel and the person he mourned for finally came back but he didn’t seem to remember him at all.
Split The Heavens by vampmarz (G)
"We're closed" The Demon said flatly, pushing his glasses up so they would stay propped up on his forehead(that corner of the bookshop was way too dark to wear sunglasses, and read something) "I thought Muriel was running the Bookshop?" the customer said, their oh so familiar voice rang in Crowley's ears. His skin crawled, as he looked over his shoulder. "Aziraphale." he monotoned.
or
Something wet and warm ran down the demon's cheek, it burned like holy water, but worse. it didn't kill him, but the burn wouldn't go away. He didn't know demon's could cry.
5 Times Muriel Copied Crowley, and 1 Time Muriel Copied Aziraphale by live_write_edit_sleep (T)
Muriel is learning a lot about Earth, especially from their role model, Crowley, who keeps trying to stop them from copying him. They don’t know why, though. They like Crowley.
The Angel’s Ethernal Escape by dipshitfromhell (NR)
Twenty years have passed and they were still separated. Crowley tended to the angel’s old bookshop and Aziraphale’s still the Arch Angel of Heaven. Both of them struggled in their daily lives and were hanging on by a thread. They no longer were connected by the special red thread known as love.
Crowley took care of the bookshop with Muriel paying the dues and keeping it clean but never did anything more. If he wasn’t doing those things, he was either sleeping or drinking away to escape his pain. He hung on for so long in the hopes that one day his Angel would come back to him.
Aziraphale lead as the Arch Angel carrying out his duties but it was all incredibly draining. No one cared about him or actually listened to him. Even at a high position, he couldn’t stop the second coming or gods plans. Today was the day that they left each other so he had plans to go back to Earth and finally end things with Crowley.
He planned to disappear entirely from Heaven and Earth and sleep until those hundred years were up. He wouldn’t bother anyone ever again. He showed up at the bookshop one last time but things didn’t go how he expected.
tales from a bookshop by Rizandace (T)
Post-season-two. Crowley's moping, Aziraphale wants to fix things, and turns out, there's enough blame to go around.
-----
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Crowley very nearly falls over.
Like, actually. He very nearly loses balance for no reason at all and tumbles to the sidewalk next to his car. He’s been playing Aziraphale’s voice in his head for weeks, he’s been trying very hard to drown out the sound of it, in fact, and now suddenly, abruptly—
“What are you doing here,” is all he can think to say. He whirls around, and there he is. on Crowley’s right, standing there like he’d never left. Where he belongs, Crowley’s mind helpfully supplies. He wishes he could punch himself in the brain, knock the thoughts right on out of there.
- Mod D
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Waves 🌊 (18+)
namor x brown/darkskin!black!reader
angst with happy ending
warnings: ANGST, insecurities, self hate, mentions of colorism, self-degradation (non-sexual), ground level self esteem, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, mentions to suicide, mentions of self harm, slight mentions of ed, mention of sex, corny writing
A/N: over the years I've started to hate myself more and more, wondering why don't I look like all the pretty white girls I see, the hate has turned into suicidal thoughts (not saying it's the only reason but still). I'm trying to get over it now but once in a while they appear again, and i'm trying to make myself feel better so here this is. (if you're struggling like me, please if you can get therapy or if you don't have anyone, talk to me in my dms :) (let's just pretend that there's wifi at the bottom of the ocean and i'm ass at writing so don't expect much outta me)
You hate yourself, like not a dislike you HATE yourself. Your hair, your face, your legs, your skin, everything about yourself. every time you show your face in public you feel like a burden, a mistake, making everyone's life a little bit harder. You once cut your hair off in a rage because maybe, just maybe, it would grow out straight.
(Your mother wasn’t too pleased with that)
ever since you were a child you weren't allowed to wear certain things because "only lightskins could wear that" and “they wouldn’t even see it on you” your mother used to tell you, when you were a teenager every boy rated you a 2/10, constant bullying or asked you out as a joke.
It’s not like your parents cared either, they were either too worried about themselves or busy yelling at you so they were never there for you
You started weight watching, straightened your hair, and started internalizing self hatred. It got so bad to a point where your hair was absolutely fried and it felt like you had to self harm every single day or you would kill yourself
ever since you were a child every spring and summer- not missing a day, you suck out to go to this beach near your house late at night
You felt like yourself there, free from the expectations of society-not one entity was near you except the ocean, the ocean never judged you, it always accepted you
for the entire time you just layed flat out on the sand, looking at the moon slowly disappear as it grew closer to morning- hearing the whoosh of the water next to you
subconsciously hoping-- even praying that one day, whatever god or goddess of the ocean maybe out there, would just let the waves take you out to sea, let your body be at one with the ocean for all eternity.
One night, in spring transitioning into summer, you were doing your daily routine, until you heard something unfamiliar in the ocean. You got up and saw something strange get out of the ocean. You quickly run and hide yourself (luckily your far enough from them that they didn't notice you) You see a man and a woman appear but one of them was- Blue?
she was wearing a weird contraption on her face that had some sort of-- liquid, on her face? you look and try to listen in on their conversation but they're too far away to hear, only mumbles. a couple minutes later you accidentally lay on piece of glass
“Ow fuck!”
The strange man and woman turn around to the noise
You quickly cover yourself with whatever is near you and try your absolute best to stay quiet.
"Ba'ax ka biin le je'elo? (what was that?)" the blue woman says as they both get up and stalk towards where you are. you hear flapping and something rising up into the air. you try to move your head to take a peak.
you get an eye up and to your surprise, you see the man up in the air, with wings on his feet. In a mix of shock and slight horror and fear that that could be possible, you were frozen. the man lowers himself back onto the ground ''Falsa alarma (false alarm)''
They walk away and submerge back into the ocean and that's when you get up and run as fast as you can back to your house. you didn't go back there for 2 days after that.
A year or 2 later you were driving home from a therapy session, you're life and mental state were still shit (as usual) but you were sadder than usual, no-one cared about you, you barley had any friends and you went no contact with your family. you were alone, no-one had your back and no-one wanted to. so you finally decided to do it, to end it all.
you drive to the place where you always went to, taking in everything and everywhere before your end. you finally get to the beach, you get out of your car and sit down to meditate, coming to terms with the fact that the world moved fast, and you moved slow.
finally coming to peace with your decision, you take off your shoes and sweater, and finally walk into the ocean with your eyes closed.
you swim deeper from the surface so you won't easily get out. You could hold your breath for 2 minutes so it wasn't really that hard, but then you started to struggle, you stop yourself from swimming up, reassuring yourself that it's the right decision.
After another minute of struggle your body finally gave up and passed out. You woke up a day later in a room, you were scared to open your eyes because maybe you were in hell?? What if there wasn't anything at all?!?
You were having a mini panic session until your heard footsteps, who opened your eyes to see who was there and it was the flying man you saw on the beach.
An overwhelming feeling of relief flew over you, this wasn't the afterlife you expected but at least there was something after. "Hi" he says with a soft smile on his face. "Where am I?" You say as you sit up.
“The more important question is are you ok” he comes over and puts the back of his hand on your forehead. “You threw up on yourself when we were saving you so they put you in new clothes.” You looked down on yourself and noticed the beautiful gown they put on you.
“This might be weird question but is the is heaven?” He softly chucked, “I appreciate the compliment but your still on earth” he gives you a bowl of water
you look up at him to thank him only to get locked in his gaze, his eyes were like a forever forest you couldn’t get out of, you noticed everything about him, and everything about him to you was perfect.
You were so sucked in that you didn’t even notice that he was lost in your eyes too. He forced himself to snap out of it cause he was kind of in denial.
Okay maybe he took a bias to you when he saw unconscious and that’s why he sent everyone away but there’s absolutely no way he would fall In love with a surface dweller, after 200 years??? No.
“So, how did you end up in the ocean?” He asks, trying to detract from the last moment “someone try to murder you or was it an accident?” “Um..” you start to tell him the truth, but you decide against it. “A freak accident….I-i don’t really remember much”
It was really weird at first, not being able to go outside because you'll drown, but overtime you two quickly grew closer, you told him things about the surface world -he didn’t really like the surface world much but he didn’t say-
You got your phone repaired and somehow still got wi fi so you could show him all your favorite songs and dance with him to it, showed him your favorite memes too (he really didn’t get the memes or what made them funny but he saw you laughing so he laughed too)
late at night while you were about to go to sleep, he told you the stories his mom told him, band about once he came across this white man with a vibranium shield who was frozen, he poked it with his spear but just left it alone because he didn’t want to let a white man into talokan
You met that blue lady with the weird mask, her names actually namora and she’s his cousin. You were both kind of shy and awkward around each other but sooner or later you both became good friends
You started to open up to ku, about everything that happened in your past, your self harming, and then finally the real reason he found you. That was the first time you ever saw him shed a tear that day, then everyday since then he made time out for you and listened to what you had to say
Comforting you and consoling you, you started to get better little by little
You were slowly but surely falling in love with him but you didn’t say anything about it because you didn’t want to make it uncomfortable between the two of you
One night, when he finally took you back to the surface world for the first Time in a long time, your car was no where to be seen but you didn’t care, all you cared about was ku and you were just glad that he was here.
You were both sitting on the sand, looking at the sky, he put your hand on top of yours and you turned you head yo smile at him, that’s when he finally kissed you. It felt like time had stoped and the only thing moving was the both of you, his lips felt like a cloud
the fact that he reciprocated the feelings you had for him made you ecstatic— but most importantly It was the first time you felt like someone was actually, there for you
Like someone had actually loved you, for you, didn’t care what you looked like
When your lips separated you quickly got back into it, leading to a make-out session and then it eventually but inevitably leading to sex and trust and believe that it was the most wonderful sexual encounter you’ve ever had.
you still self harmed, out of habit mostly- on different parts of the leg so no one would notice, especially k’uk’ulkan, you didn't wanna lose him and you thought if he found out about this he would leave you and kick you out of talokan for sure, or even worse. he occasionally asked questions about why you wear long sleeves even though it could be burning up so you stopped for a while. He was the love of your life and everything seemed to be going perfect for you
Until.
an hour ago- you felt like you embarrassed yourself in front of everyone, and all of a sudden all those negative feelings you had all in your childhood and teenage years just hit you like a tornado.
In reality it wasn’t that big of a deal to everyone else but to your inner child, it was
After having a 10 minute long panic attack You made the impulsive decision to end it all. "everyone would be okay if you were gone, no one would care" "you should have killed yourself 3 years ago" your mind told you.
you took the sharpest object you could find and went to your room, "you can do it" "do one good thing for once" you told yourself, jumping and doing any and everything you can to hype yourself up, and you finally do it. you slit your wrist. You immediately regret it, trying to find everything you can to stop the blood but your losing quickly.
you fall down on the floor pretty hard. clinging onto your last breaths before you go you hear something. "Y/N?!?" It was ku. you finally pass out
you slowly open your eyes to see a blue woman standing over you checking your temperature. "Táan despiertos! (they're awake!)" she tells namor as she walks away to get something. Ku quickly goes over to you and kisses you all over.
"What happened?!? Are you ok?!” He says. “I’m fine” you say trying to smile so he doesn’t question you. “I was just trying to cut some food” you don’t make eye contact with him and you look sad
He doesn’t believe it for a second.
“Y/n the last you said something like this was accidental you ended up trying to kill yourself”
You just stayed silent, looking at the ground getting teary eyed. “You should have just told you weren’t happy here!” he says with a slight shake in his voice. “Did I do anything wrong?!”
You say nothing.
“Y/n look at me” he says but you still don’t fearing the worst if you do. “Look. At. Me.” He says with a stern voice, you finally look up at him.
“Do you hate me?” You say with tears streaming down your face. “Hate you? In what way would I hate you? Why would I hate you?” He gets closer to you. “It’s because…” you take a deep breath “all my life, everyone’s always hated me, in one way or another, I’ve never mattered to anyone, I was just the nuisance, the mistake, It feels like I’m just a monster, one of the universes failed experiments.”
“Nobody would care if I was gone ku, not even you.” You just sit in silence for a while, him gathering himself and you, continuing to hang your head in shame. He then cups your face and looks deep into your eyes. “Y/n I have loved you ever since I layed my eyes on you. laugh, smile, hair, personality, everything about you. You are the most beautiful person I have ever layed. The people of talokan love you, I love you” he puts his forehead on yours “and if I could burn the surface world twice for me to prove that to you, I would.”
You then realized that this man really loves you, and you loved him back. The woman came back into the room, walking in on you and him. “Ka wu'uyik in ajawo'! Chéen - (I’m sorry my king! I just-)”
“Ma' a preocupes in waal (don’t worry my child)" he kisses you and steps out of the room to attend to his other duties.
Life from then on went on pretty swell, you restarted therapy, ku ordered attuma to take you once every week, (you lended him your clothes to him so he could disguise himself) you learned a little bit of the language, he’s very overprotective of you because he doesn’t want to lose you
At night, he kisses every little scar on your body, you stopped self harming, learned to pick up different hobbies instead of hurting yourself to relive stress, to not rely on anyone for your happiness and to avoid toxic behaviors. Your life is actually going good for once
You were happy.
You finally felt something again.
Ok I’m done, back to fun stuff now
wattpad: saturnshaze
#mcu namor#namor#namor x poc!reader#mcu angst#marvel#namor the sub mariner#black panther wakanda forever#namor x black reader#Spotify#namor x black!reader#k'uk'ulkan x reader#mcu#black!y/n#black!reader#kukulkan#namor x y/n#black panther 2#one shot#marvel cinematic universe#namor x reader#king namor#wakanda forever#namor imagine#bpwf#tenoch huerta#black panther
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I remember saying that in a day or two I would upload a drawing of Agatha that I was doing, and I was going to do it...but the thing here is...my glasses broke guys, and since I am a tremendous mole, it was difficult for me to have to paint with my face almost on the page, not to mention doing something digitally, at the same time that it is extremely absurd to stick so much to the screen, it is also very harmful, and with my situation I don't want to go from being a mole to being something worse (nothing against moles, In some ways they seem cute to me) but in the end, I don't know how I didn't remember, I started using some spare glasses that I had at home that, although, I'm still almost as blind, they help me see at a considerable distance and allow me to carry out activities as simple as reading or writing without having everything just millimeters from my face.
Now the drawing in question, sorry if it rambled too much lately, it's just that Tumblr has become my safe space to tell the stupid things that happen to me in my daily life, thanks for reading me guys! :D
Here is a version under the light of my night lamp, nothing replaces the natural light of the sun, but it is something in the middle of the night, there is something in Agatha's left hand that makes me feel uncomfortable, but I got very confused with my own sketch and I was too lazy to redraw it, I admit that laziness made me sin there 😔
And then there is this other version now with the normal light in my room, either one or the other I feel that without sunlight it doesn't capture the original drawing as much, but generally it never does so I don't complain.
So yeah...that's all really, because of being partially blind I couldn't draw much, and what I did is not something that deserves to be published since it's not even enough to be a doodle, there are only lines and an attempt to start something that ended up being just that, goodbye everyone, thanks for seeing my stuff 👾
#incredibox#incredibox fanart#evadare#agatha#a drawing excuse for spooky month#Agatha is simply adorable 😭
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Ayo I love the way you write the DBD stuff! May I request something NSFW with Blight and a Female Reader, where he's being gentle, and has that sweet 'n fluffy jazz going on if, pretty please?
Woah! This might be the first ask I've gotten for the Blight! Awesome! Love my goopy boy lol
Warnings: Fluff and Smut, Wet Kisses, Handjobs, Oral, Gentle-ish Sex
The sounds he made were more like those a wounded, sick animal would make but you didn't really mind so much anymore. You were now able to decipher the noises Talbot would make. A scoff of indifference, a gurgle of glee, a shudder of pleasure...
There wasn't much of a mouth to kiss, at least in the traditional sense. It was always wet, not that he could help it much, but really how could you possibly complain? It was sloppy and overflowing with saliva that was laced with that bright orange serum that runs through his entire body but it was also intoxicating and sent a thrill down your spine as it dripped down your chin and ran down your neck....
You leaned over Talbot's lap and fiddled with his belt as his hand smoothed down the length of your spine. He all but purred as you freed his cock, taking its hard length into your hand and giving it a slow stroke as you pressed your lips to the tip of its head. Pale, orangish precum was already leaking from its tip and it along with your spit helped lubricate his member as you took it into your mouth.
The way he stroked your back and pulled your hair out of your face while making sure to not pull it too tightly made you feel a little warm and fuzzy on the inside. Talbot was gentle- far more gentle than you ever expected him to be- not only for his role as a killer but merely in general. He didn't treat you like glass though. It was more like you were something to be treasured but not put out of reach. Something important to him, to his daily life, not merely to be used but to be enjoyed as well... It was so... So...
You arched your back a little as you felt one of his clawed hands slip underneath your underwear. Talbot wasn't shy about feeling you up, especially in moments like this, where you were already taking him into your mouth and more fun was in the foreseeable future. Not that you minded. You leaned forward even more, giving him better access to your lower half, something that had him growling as you bobbed your head up and down his cock while sucking harshly.
His fingers found you wetness and didn't hesitate to explore your core. Your eyes fluttered shut and you hummed softly as he pressed inside of you. Already, even you were this wet... You didn't want to wait long, Talbot could tell from how well you took his fingers and how much of him you took into your mouth at a time.
He couldn't wait much longer either, so the feeling was mutual...
The pace always started out slow. Talbot wanted to enjoy every moment as he teased his way inside of you. You're so wet and warm and soft... He can never keep himself still long enough for him to truly enjoy it though... Talbot's hips have a mind of their own accord and they show no mercy as he sinks all the up to the hilt inside of you.
"O-Ooohh-! T-Talbot-!~"
You couldn't say much else as he began to fuck you with enough ferocity to leave you breathless and stunned silent. All you could really do was hold on for dear life as Talbot fucked you senseless over and over again.
His sharp nails always bit into your skin but he never broke through your skin. He made you feel so good... Every moment, every movement, was pure and utter bliss...
You're always left breathless and trembling underneath him. Filled, overflowing and spilling out at every thrust of his hips. Your face wet with saliva and tears- tears of pleasure and joy- as you gasp for air...
Oh, he always made you feel so, so good...
@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine
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I jest I jest, I was wondering what the daily life with emilia is like
Oooo very interesting
Daily Life with Emilia
I am going to say this now, Emilia will demand your attention most of the time so it's either you do whatever you need to do with her by your side or you won't be able to get anything done.
Now, if you do end up living with her (May it be willingly or not) you two won't have seperate rooms but will end up sharing the bed, it's fine though! Because Emilia has a really big and fluffy bed.
Though, the room you two stay in is originally hers, slowly she moves her things to make room for yours, your desk moved right next to her white vanity, your clothes hanged next to hers in the closet, your card collection is on a shelf next to her glass figurines, it's as if you guys are married!
Though Emilia will work on that but still not ready for that.
Speaking of mugs, the two of you have matching strawberry glass cups that the two of you use, Emilia bought them when she was out at the mall with you by her side, buying clothes she can wear to show off to you.
Emilia will wear your shirts and hoodies because they look so big on her since she's on the smaller side (Don't let her looks fool you, she will beat you to a pulp if she wanted to).
Since you can't borrow her clothes, she'll have you wear certain accessories of hers, like white ribbons that she'll tie on your hair, she'll style your hair if she's allowed to touch it and she'll be over the moon because of the fact about being able to touch your hair, the scent of the shampoo you use reaches her nose as she secretly takes a sniff.
When it comes to meals, you are the one to cook for her since she's terrible and may end up creating poison even if she was just trying to toast bread for her to give you (She tried making you breakfast in bed but she ended up burning most of it, so you couldn't eat it).
Emilia really loves being close to you, so when you're just relaxing on the bed, on the couch or sitting down reading a book or on your phone, she is there hugging you.
You question how you are able to tolerate this kind of behaviour but you don't mind as long as she respects your wishes and doesn't hurt anyone.
During the night, she is cuddling close to you, burying her head in your chest as she sighs, going to school and doing all her work is all worth it when you and her come home together and she gets to indulge in moments like these.
You really are different from others Emilia would think to herself as she hugs your waist, sighing at the soft feeling of you just stroking her hair.
You didn't hate her or worship her like some deity, you just treated her like an equal.
Maybe that's why she loves you so much:)
--
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing this!=￣ω￣=
Emilia is so far my favorite yandere between my ocs <3 (Don't tell Nathan I said that)
Follow for more! And if you're curious, feel free to ask me more questions about my yandere ocs!
#Yandere#Yandere oc#Yandere blog#Yandere x reader#Yandere oc x reader#Female yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios
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The Best Present
1.1k words
Pairing: Morgan x Rowan
@wiltingdecay Happy birthday, bestie!!! Hope you have a wonderful day! 💙
"I'm sorry, my spark… I'm going to miss it by a week." Morgan's expression was apologetic. "There was a supplier issue in port that set us back. We're scrambling to get back on track as quickly as possible, but we'll probably still get back to Vesuvia a handful of days late at best."
"Mórnkan, it's okay." Rowan reached out to touch the glass of the enchanted mirror. It was so off-putting to feel its cold, smooth surface instead of his wife's cheek. "I understand. I'll just hang out with Asra and Muriel like I usually do. Don't worry about it; you look stressed enough already."
Morgan pouted slightly. "I'm still sorry. It's not fair… The one time we get delayed…"
"I know. But I promise it's okay. I'm not upset."
"I know you're not." Morgan sighed. "I'll bring back something nice for you. To make up for it."
"Only if you want to."
"Of course. I…need to go now. I love you. See you soon."
"I love you too. See you soon." Rowan smiled as Morgan blew them a kiss, then ended the call. She was sweet to worry about this, but in all honesty, they rarely did much for their birthday anyway. It was disappointing that she wouldn't be home, but it wouldn't ruin their plans or anything. They'd understood that this might happen when they married her. The possibility of missing important days just came with the territory.
Still, that knowledge didn't stop his heart from aching at the thought of being separated for even longer. At the same time, he'd felt worse in the past.
Four monotonous days went by. The calls with Morgan had been shorter than usual, and she seemed so tired. It was probably a good thing that she wouldn't be there for Rowan's birthday (at least, that's what they told themself); she wouldn't have the energy to do much, which would make her feel even worse than she felt now. He missed hearing her go on about her day, though. She was so cute when she rambled about her daily life.
Rowan's birthday dawned bright and pleasantly warm. They went about their usual morning routine, and headed to the shop after breakfast. To his surprise, Asra was standing on the doorstep, his signature catlike grin on his face.
"Morning, Ro. Happy birthday."
"Thanks, but…why are you out here this early?"
"I couldn't just let you be alone on your birthday, could I?"
"I guess not. I thought we'd planned on me visiting you two this afternoon."
"I know. I figured I'd swing by in the morning, too. In fact…don't bother opening the shop today. You should come spend the whole day with us." His purple eyes sparkled. He had to be up to something.
"Asra, if you have anything hiding in a cake or something, I'm not interested."
"Aww, how did you know?" Asra laughed brightly. "Seriously though, come back to our place for the day. Muri has something for you and he's getting impatient, since he doesn't like visiting your new place."
"...Yeah, okay. You win." Rowan smiled a little as Asra took their hand, tugging them down the street. He wondered what they were doing. Then again, this wasn't that out of place for them.
One long walk later, they arrived at the cabin Muriel and Asra lived in. Asra paused to say hi to the chickens before they both went inside.
"Honey, I'm home!" Asra called as he stepped inside. His voice summoned Inanna, who promptly ran up to greet Rowan. Rowan laughed, crouching to give her a good head scratch.
"Hey, girl! How're you?"
Inanna let out a bark, as quiet as she could manage, then nudged their wedding pendant. Her head tilted to the side as she looked around for a moment, as if questioning where Morgan was.
"She's…away right now. She was supposed to come home last night, but…her schedule didn't work out."
Inanna whined.
"I know. I'm sad about it, too." They managed a little bit of a smile. "But it's alright. We'll have plenty of fun either way."
Inanna nuzzled them lightly, then trotted back to the fireplace. Rowan followed her and took a seat on the sofa. Soon enough, he and Asra were chatting about their lives recently; it had been a bit since they'd been able to have a properly long talk.
The morning passed by more quickly than it had in weeks. It turned out that the gift Muriel had apparently been impatient to give them was a wooden relief carving of a large, intricate tree with a sun and moon in the sky above it. It would be perfect as wall art for his and Morgan's home. He wondered where they'd put it.
Now, he and Asra were heading back to Rowan's place. Asra had been insistent on having pizza for lunch, but they didn't have all the ingredients. Rowan's place was a little further away, but it meant not spending extra on ingredients they already had. At least, that was what Asra said.
Rowan pulled one of the front doors open when they arrived, and was greeted by a familiar smell. A smell that shouldn't have been there; there shouldn't be anyone in the villa at all, let alone anyone cooking. It was faint, though. They could have been imagining it. Asra didn't notice it…or if they did, they didn't care.
"Which way is the kitchen again?"
"To the left…" Rowan wandered down the short hall that led to the kitchen and dining room. As soon as he was in view of the kitchen, every muscle in their body froze.
There, in the kitchen, was Morgan. She was working on beef stew (and from the scent of it, there was also bread in the oven), and wore a particularly revealing dress. She looked up from the stove when she heard footsteps, a bright smile spreading across her face.
"What…"
"Surprise! Happy birthday, darling." Morgan walked over, laughing when they pulled her close.
"You said… I thought…"
"I thought we would be, but I was wrong. We got in late last night… Asra offered to help me surprise you."
Rowan looked over their shoulder, but it seemed their friend had slipped away to give them a moment. He looked down at his wife with wide eyes. Her own green eyes sparkled with laughter.
"And I did get you plenty of presents, they're wrapped up in our room…"
They laughed incredulously. She was really thinking about gifts? "Oh, stuff the presents! I already have the best present I could ask for. You're home."
Morgan blushed, then squeaked as Rowan kissed her. Their arms wrapped around her waist, and hers wound around their neck.
"You're home," Rowan murmured softly once they finally pulled back.
"I'm home… I love you."
"I love you too. Come on…lunch is ready."
#morgan drakos#rowan aisling#when the sun loves the moon#lina's writing#fluff! fluff that caters to hopefully more than just me jddhhdh#more fics that are set in the weird limbo post-marriage but pre-kids bc we aren't 100% sure exactly when they have alina
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I wasn't really an especially emotional kid.
while all my friends and family cried watching movies, I never would. maybe just a case of eldest daughter apathy, but now I realize it probably had everything to do with my undiagnosed autism and/or adhd. I never felt strong feelings toward people. I only ever fought with my siblings and parents and never bonded deeply with any friends. I was living in a sort of self absorbed haze, not realizing I was self absorbed until I grew up and hindsight showed me otherwise. but even though emotions on the surface were limited and hard to come by for me, I was packed full of them on the inside. so much so that I remember one particularly clear, warm, golden blue summer day, I had just finished reading Eragon and immersing myself fully in it for days and days. I laid in the fresh cut grass and felt tears in my eyes and realized that all I ever wanted was for a dragon to come flying down to my yard, pick me up, and take me soaring away from this place. I was so convinced that maybe, just maybe, the fantasy world I'd made in my head was real. I watched the treeline behind my house, thinking that every second that passed was one second closer to my great adventure.
but of course it never came.
and now looking back at twenty-something, jaded by years of emotional upheaval and family drama and daily reality checks... I realize that that day in the yard, watching the skies and waiting for something supernatural to come sweep me away... that was the first time something really moved me. really affected every aspect of my psyche. and along with that, by a cruel twist of fate, that was the day my childhood died. because even at thirteen I had a shred of hope. a tiny glimmer of something inside my brain that said maybe reality isn't what you think. maybe there really are dragons and wizards and elves and grand adventures and the capacity to grow and change into someone worthwhile. and when I looked at the endless blue sky and it was unblemished by my ride out of there, maybe I finally accepted my fate. tied down to the cold rock that we call home, never to see the world that only exists in my mind, never to become something better, someone that people admire. I remember the sinking in my chest, the grip around my heart that reality had in that moment. saying in its cruel, taunting voice, it's time to let it go. no more dreaming. no more delusions. it's time to see the world as it really is, as the adults see it. it's time to grow up.
and grow up, I did.
I became cynical, sarcastic, and numb. my creativity evaporated. my tolerance for things I deemed kiddish disappeared with the blink of an eye. suddenly I became the responsible adult in the house. through family turmoil I became the secondary caregiver and a pseudo mother figure for my young siblings. I refused to watch the movies I used to love as dark circles formed under my young eyes. I reached for that old creativity I used to have, desperately wishing for parts of my childhood back as I was suddenly forced into a premature adulthood. years slipped by. I never had a sweet sixteen, because sixteen was the worst year of my life. I was always last in my friend groups, never anyone's first choice, always the strong responsible older sister who could handle things on her own.
needless to say, my apathy and cynicism only worsened.
but that's the beautiful thing about growing up, I guess. at some point you have a choice. continue on the path of bitterness and apathy, or turn around and embrace the things from your childhood.
and that's exactly what I did.
the moment I hit twenty-one, I decided I'd had enough. that my family couldn't affect me anymore. that I could wear my own rose colored glasses again. I didn't have to discard them altogether. maybe I found them in a box of old dreams or maybe they materialized right in front of me. but either way, now I was in charge of when and where I wanted to wear them.
as an adult, I still have responsibilities. I still feel protective of my siblings and will always feel the need to care for them, but I can step away now. I can put on those rose colored glasses, lay in the yard, and let my mind wander.
turns out, my dragon ultimately did come for me. though it didn't swoop down from the sky like I had wanted. instead it came from the strength and experiences and wisdom of my short life, picking me up and taking me away to all the places I've ever wanted to go. it's my courage, my love, my raw emotions that don't hide behind apathy anymore.
and that's the beautiful thing about growing up.
the world you want doesn't magically appear. you create it yourself. forged in the fire of life, of struggle, of reality.
and it's beautiful.
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hiiiii!! I saw your request is open so here I am shooting my shot hehe. I'd love to get a matchup with any male characters, so feel free to go wild with the result ♡
I go by "Angel", she/her, omnisexual, 5'2. I'm not really good at describing how I look, so here 2 pics of me (I don't have any picrew of me, so I hope you are fine with me sending you my real pics 😔👉🏻👈🏻) also, a tmi for today : I'm basically blind on my right eye but I refused to wear glasses on daily basis bcs I think I look better without it 😅
moving on to my personality, I'm an ENFP and a proud gryffindor! 🦁❤ I LOVE to talk, I can't handle silence really well bcs it makes me feel awkward. people's first impression of me are usually "she's a b" or "she is annoying" but most of em ended up loving me after they got to know me personally (RUDEEE 😭) ; anyway I actually have a lot of insecurity about myself and easily got depressed over em, but I love to act all confident in front of my friendsㅡ gotta fake it until you make it I guess 😩
for interests, I love doing tarots, playing text-based games, and listening to disney / musical songs. I also enjoy watching thriller/horror movies, sometimes I got scared to the bones tho 💀
another thing about me is I have a chronic insomnia, my earliest bedtime is 8 am (I know its very unhealthy 😭😭😭) sometimes I can go a day or two without sleep, it's crazy how I'm still alive tbh 🥲
OMG I OVERSHARED DIDN'T I? I'm really sorryyyy, this also one of my bad traits. I tend to overshare my life with anyone and anytime. I hope you don't mind :(
well I guess this is it??? thank you for opening up your matchup request. can't wait to read the result aaaa. have a good daaay 🌸
First of all I want to say don’t worry about oversharing at all, the more you tell me about yourself the better I can make your match-up so all the information you included was super helpful for me actually! Thank you for sending in a match-up request, and I hope you enjoy your match-up below :>
I’d Match You With:
Denki Kaminari!
Reasoning:
I did a lot of thinking with this one, there were a couple of characters I was considering but in the end I felt like Denki fit the best with you. He loves your bold personality and you share a lot of interests, and overall he’s just really infatuated with you and would be the perfect boyfriend to go alongside you :D
Headcanons About Your Relationship:
- Denki is not a big fan of silence either, it makes him feel awkward so between the two of you you’re pretty much always talking about something, there’s never a moment of silence in your relationship :) He even has a list of dumb quotes you’ve both said to each other in his phone because of how much you both talk whenever you're together lol
- If anyone’s ever rude to you or accuses you of being “annoying” or “bitchy” without getting to know, you Denki will 100% stand up for you! He isn’t letting anybody treat you that way and he will immediately get on them about how you’re an amazing, lovely person, and they’re the ones being rude by judging you without even knowing you personally :)
- Denki knows how it feels to put on a confident face and try to “fake it ‘till you make it”, he has a pretty similar mindset himself actually. So he understands how you feel, and he makes sure you know that when you do need to let down those confident walls and show/talk about your insecurities, he’s more than happy to talk with you, to comfort and reassure you (And he hopes you’d do the same for him in return) <3
- Denki is, like, the #1 fan of Disney songs lol, he loves them just as much as you do and the other students around your dorms kinda hate it lol because they always hear you two blasting Disney music and singing along at like 3am
- Denki’s pretty scared of horror movies honestly, but he can have fun watching them if they’re not too scary, so he’ll watch them with you sometimes because he wants to make you happy :) Plus, even though he's pretty scared, he likes being your big strong boyfriend that can protect you if you do end up getting scared, it helps him ignore his own fears lol
- Denki definitely doesn’t stay up as late as you, but he’s no stranger to pulling all-nighters so usually when the two of you have sleepovers together he doesn’t end up falling asleep until at least 5am because he wants to spend as much time with you as he can :)
- Whenever you two pull all-nighters, though, you always follow it up with lots of naps the next day. Even if you have class, Denki can see you starting to get tired and he wants to make sure that you get some sleep now that you’re actually feeling tired, so the second class ends Denki’s dragging you with him to his dorms and piling blankets on top of the two of you as you cuddle and nap together ^^
- Also, you never have to worry about oversharing when it comes to Denki, nothing is oversharing to him when it comes to you. Like I mentioned earlier, he’s happy to listen to you talk about absolutely anything at any time, so never worry about talking too much or telling him too much about something because he wants to know everything he can about you and your life, he just loves you so much <3
Song For Your Relationship:
Shivers by Ed Sheeran :)
#{✏️} - bee's writing#{💭} - bee answers#{💬} - requests#{🌻} - oyaoyaoioioi#mha matchup#mha matchups#bnha matchups#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha x you#bnha x you#mha x y/n#bnha x y/n
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Not much has happened. Just the usual.
We did go to one of my husband's friends houses over the weekend. They held a dinner for him and several other friends. His best friend and his wife were supposed to come but she didn't come so I was staring off and watching my daughter since they were talking about boring things in their language. The lateness disrupted my daughter's sleeping schedule and as a result she didn't sleep until 1 AM.
On the weekends the past few weeks I have been helping my husband so Uber eats delivery. I drive and he goes inside and whatnot. I want to get out and do stuff and so that's a way to do it since otherwise I'm not allowed out. Of course I get screamed and cussed at if I make a wrong turn or something but still.
The last few days have reminded me of my first marriage. My husband likes to poke at me and grab me to irritate me and point out how unattractive and fat I am. My ex did something similar to make me feel like a piece of meat but he was groping and raping me on a near daily basis instead. The screaming and cussing me in the car is also familiar. In order to force me to let him drive my car, he would complain about my driving and cuss me out if I missed something. I was less confident driving then and it was super stressful to drive at all but he wasn't supposed to drive a car much less my car because he has totaled 9 cars over the last decade from his bad driving or accidents. It's not like my husband now is a good driver either, he's very bad at it mainly because of his bad eyesight. Another thing they had in common, they both have terrible eyesight and have thick glasses/ specialty prescriptions and can't see much without. Their names also both start with A. That's where most similarities end, my ex was 6 or close to it fairly conventionally attractive (until he gained so much weight, he was overweight when I met him but not as much) if he lost the weight, I'm sure he'd look a few years older than me since he has all his hair, to me he looks alike someone of his ethnicity which is why I was surprised I liked him, he was my first crush. My husband is the same height as me, unattractive (his friends used to joke with him when he was younger that he couldn't even pay a prostitute to do stuff with him), fairly overweight, balding, no jawline, etc.
Other stuff is my job has gotten very stressful as we are not meeting our goals and not much can be done about it. I've also not found any more jobs to apply for that are remote and fit my salary criteria, I don't think any of the ones I applied for are going to call me back. I hope they do, once I get this second job and have it for about a month, I'm going to hire a lawyer. I've already reached out to some but nobody has gotten back to me and it's been over a week. I'm expecting to have to use up my savings to pay for this lawyer. The plan is for him to not find out anything until I have him served. That way he leaves then he doesn't contest and I get what I want and he cannot come back later and say he wants to change. If he stays and fights, there is a possibility I can get some of his assets or money in child support. Either way, he either forgets everything to leave the country and his job or he has to pay a lawyer and give up assets to pay child support. I have evidence I can use if he decides to play dirty, they may not hold up in court, but they will if he tries to accuse me of things to my friends or his friends. He will prove himself to everyone when he flies the country to get out of paying child support and shows he cares nothing about his daughter. If I tell anyone, it won't be until I have the second job and get the lawyer, even if someone tells him, it won't matter at that point. I might tell him for extra support because at least his best friend has connections to his family back home and might tell them about his horrible behavior and ruin his chances of some blissful life back home. Since they are unlikely to listen to me about anything. I don't care. He will get what's coming to him. He has lost over six figures in investments and is continuing to lose.
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Relapsed hard on the nicotine. We're coming up on the second anniversary of the assault and my fleeing for my life. And of every horrible thing that followed. I fear that this experience has somewhat ruined spring for me. And i love springtime. But the whole thing is just so horrifically painful, all over again, i don't know what to do with it all.
I tried to go away for a little while, to check myself in somewhere. But situations keep making that impossible, or just terribly inconvenient to the point where i throw my hands up and say fukkit. i need to get in with a therapist, badly. The heartbreak i am continuing to feel is debilitating, and i cannot continue thusly. Not and have any hope of ever getting anywhere financially or otherwise. I feel utterly crushed by the weight of all that has happened, before and since, Feb 9th 2021. And i am seemingly incapable of dragging myself out of this mire by myself.
I lost my last therapist the same week my mama had her stroke, in July of '22. I've been slogging through this wasteland with no mental healthcare for quite a while now. And it's not working. The evil daydreams, ruminations of coulda/woulda/shoulda, sometimes of scenarios and conversations that never have and likely never will happen, that i get in the car or when I'm by myself (and I'm always alone anymore) are crippling and so emotionally painful as to cause physical pain.
The sight of children, in person or online/ on screens, is a trigger for a squeezing of my heart in anguish and for tears to fill my eyes. I have so much regret about everything in how my children were raised, what they saw, what they have to look forward to as a result of my inability to leave him sooner. And what kills me now than anything is that i knew, inside of me i was warned, and i ignored the warnings. I was too scared to leave and be on my own, with three kids! I barely managed it with one by myself, and my mom didn't even let me do that, really. I didn't trust i could do it.
He had already broken me down with all the chaos and the yelling that I was a scared, pitiful thing in the inside. I still am, two years since the last time he will ever scream in my ear, miserably scared and pitiful. Feeling so hurt and angry and foolish and broken on the inside that i doubt i can ever be healed.
But i know that the only way out of this is through it. And I'll either win or I'll die trying.
Im fighting ghosts of the past. Very convincing, very cruel, ghosts who never loved me and the more i remember the more i see that he never actually loved anyone. Not even himself. But he was too brain injured and self deluding to see. Blinded by the scrambled biscuits.
I genuinely loved that man. I will always love the version of him that he pretends to be in public, that guy is stellar. But he's an act. A show. That's not who he was at home. That's not who he was while stressed. And that's certainly not who he was when he was drunk.
After he quit working because of the headache and the seizures he was near always drunk. I would beg him not to but he would scream at me that i was a horrible bitch for 'stealing his one joy'. Forward progress, growth, positive changes were mocked and fought and undermined.
He would apologize for his violent drunken stupidity, or just flat out refuse to acknowledge it had happened, and i would just accept it. I didn't leave. I fully expected him to die any day. He was having near daily seizures. He'd refused all medications, refused to go to the doctors, SCREAMED at me every time i suggested we try again, or we try another. He just wanted to drink himself to death and make us watch.
And then he quit drinking and he got worse. I got to the point where i preferred the drinking because then there was at least a timer on it. I knew once he hit 4 or 5 glasses he'd be extra susceptible to being scary grumpy and as long as i was nice and conciliatory during that window he'd shortly be falling asleep. Once he quit drinking i never knew when the grumps were coming. (Blessedly the middle of the night blanket snatch 'n' screams also ceased with the drinking). After he quit drinking though I would wake up in the mornings to him yelling at the kids, angrily, kids crying because he was being terrifying, and i would have to go try and figure out what on earth was going on and get everyone back to a baseline. It was very difficult to determine what the triggers were and so it was hard to make sure we all could feel safe around daddy. This happened a LOT.
I'm still shaking on the inside from shit he did while we were in quarantine.
And since then he's lied in court about everything, but most especially about me, and stolen my children. And has it so that I am not even allowed to get information about the children from the school. No report cards, no parent teacher conferences, no phone calls, all visits with a paid supervisor. If he dies they don't come to me as it stands right now. *
(And I'm on the hook to pay a $1500 retainer for a custodial evaluation that isn't even going to evaluate my ability to parent. Money i don't have. Money i feel like i will never have again because I'm so broken. )
Since then I've been homeless and in a homeless shelter.
I've been second lead in two feature films.
My brother has disowned me.
My mother, who was my fragile but most dependable rock, has had a massive, left-side paralyzing stroke that I strongly believe was a direct result of the stress of the divorce/ custody battle/ my using her as a therapist throughout.
My father has waffled on me again, destroying what fledgling trust I had started building in him.
My daughter started her period, without me there.
I've lost jobs due to my inability to STFU about what is going on inside me and what has happened to me.
I've been gaslit, and condescended to, and mistreated by a whole passel of attorneys, government employees, and elected officials, whose job it was to help me.
And there's like 10 people who give a shit. My kids aren't even allowed to call me on the phone because of the lies he told, and hardly anyone cares.
And it's absolutely devastating to me that injustice to this degree can exist in the world and people, even elected officials, people who are supposed to care, just *don't care*. It boggles my mind. I am appalled by it.
But if depth of feeling made any difference it would have done so by now. Clearly it ain't gonna. And I'm apparently gonna just starve myself to death in this old church because i can't get over this.
Life goes on, ever into that cold dark night.
Or I'll get better. I don't know. I'm feelin rather hopeless at the moment but that may change. Feelings are like waves on the ocean, after all.
*tbph i don't think i could take care of them presently. I'm too damaged by what he's put me through. I can't even take care of myself anymore. I'd sure as hell try to take care of them if i was given the opportunity. But I'm not. And because I'm not i don't bother to even try to take care of myself, which makes a whole stupid spiral into worse, which i don't want, ...but my actions say otherwise, don't they?
I feel like i don't deserve good anymore. I don't deserve my kids. I failed them and I'm not good enough for them. I feel like I've failed myself and my mom and the world. I'm just all busted up inside and i don't know how to fix any of it by myself. And i keep asking for help and being put off, back burnered. So i back burner myself too. And i keep doing that. As things just get worse and worse for me, emotionally.
And a lot of it is nutritional I'm sure. I know I'm not eating enough. I don't know how I'm supposed to even do that. And it's not enough and i know it but i have no kitchen and no idea how tf to cook or shop for one person.
And i don't know what to do about any of it anymore. I used to be so confident. I swear i thought i was, at one point. I want to get back to that. I feel like I'm on a whole other planet from confident now.
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doing much better than i expected, but i still might go on a digital detox for a while.
other than that had to explain what marfan syndrome is to another doctor. she also asked me would i be okay undertaking the procedure with the medication i take for my sza. and i didn't know. i thought it is the doctors job to decide whether or not i am okay to cut up. like, i am pretty sure it's your job. i couldn't say anything conclusive and she waved me off to surgery. like. i know what my pills do. i know most common adverse effects and i know signs of withdrawal. things i can actually use in my daily life. not really whether it's okay to operate on a person who's zoinked out on psych meds 24/7.
the operation itself is nothing really worthwhile describing. i just had to take very very deep even breaths because i felt like slipping into a panic attack because i have a deep phobia of anything coming even close to my eye, not to mention cutting my eye and burning the inside of it. like, the clamp they used to hold my eyelids open was the most uncomfortable thing, i just couldn't blink and felt pressure for like 10 minutes until everything was done. the suction thing that opens your eye feels like someone pinching you on your cornea, which was extrmely weird but lasted like, a couple of seconds. the laser itself is completely painless and the only thing i felt was the clamp and the smell of hair burning. like that terrible smell when you burn your arm on an open flame and you smell searing flesh and burning hair. but also like, if you burn your arm or something, it is usually a minor thing. here it was so potent i have no idea how i didn't retch. but i like weird smells and it was certainly an unusual one. someone told me before it smells like bacon. but no, it smells like a whole piece of raw pig on fire - skin, hair and all.
i think i was over and done with the procedure itself in like 15 minutes. so i didn't have time for a panic attack. also i spent days before having a complete mental breakdown so i had nothing in me to continue panicking and fretting. like i am still pretty numb all things considered. i think my emotions will recover for longer than my eyes. because i realized something absolutely terrible (and really obvious) about myself and i can't just keep on living with myself like that.
i can see very clearly far away and i lament that it's overcast because i don't doubt i would have been able to see the stars for the first time in forever. for the first time in like 20 years i think. but closer to my face my vision is still murky and doubling. i am well enough to type this whole book out though (and forgive me if there're typos) on my computer (can't see shit on my phone) so it went better than expected, so much better really. they told me i would get my entire new vision back tomorrow and i have a followup appointment so we'll see.
it fucking blows my mind how well i see without my glasses and i would have cried, but i think i cried a lot today as it is and will be unable to muster up the emotion either way.
that's it for now.
#i am getting really terrible intrusive thoughts though and i wish i could just go to sleep to not deal with that#but i can't sleep on my back (like they told me to do) because i simply can't fall asleep and get sleep paralyzis#so i doubt i will have a good night's sleep today
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Social Media Experiment
For my social media experiment, I wanted to minimize my time on social media and the use of technology overall. Since most of my classes require the use of technology, I wasn't able to completely separate myself from it, but I did decrease my daily intake over the past five days significantly. For starters, I would say my average daily intake of technology is between 6-8 hours, with social media use being around 3-4 hours. I decided instead of going cold turkey that I would decrease my daily use by an hour every day until I just wasn't able to go on it. When I had feelings about logging on to Instagram or Snapchat, I would get up and drink a glass of water. If that didn't work I would either go to the gym or go for a 30-minute walk.
The first day felt very weird, I wanted to constantly open my phone and look at what was trending or what accounts I followed were posting. But I was able to stop myself by doing the previously said activities. On the second morning, I wanted so badly to open Twitter and see what was new, but I didn't, I got up and continued with my daily life. By the middle of Tuesday, I noticed I had so much time on my hands that was being taken up by tech use, I used to believe that there were never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything that needs to be done. This seemed to be a lie, at least for me it was. By Wednesday, my social media use was decreased to about 1-2 hours and it became easier to put my device away rather than swipe up to see the endless abyss of content.
After Thursday I had up to one hour for social media, so instead of watching ten TikTok's I just flat out deleted all my social media apps. A week ago, I would have said that's impossible, but this week allowed me to see that happiness doesn't need to be filtered through social media. Today I woke up and the first thing I did was go over my daily schedule, instead of scrolling through Instagram or looking at the most recent controversial tweets posted by A-list stars, I focused on myself and my personal goals. Overall, this experiment has allowed me to reflect on my life goals and future career ambitions. I am no longer trapped in the never-ending cycle of that dopamine "feel good" rush social media created. Although this was only the first week, I have a feeling this change is here to stay!
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sooo, i saw in your what i write for list that you write for dr stone. can i get a hurt/comfort scenario where senku and (fem) reader are married in modern au, and he always ignores her and doesn't give her attention while she loves him from the bottom of her heart and she gets upset and tells him she wants a divorce, but he says no bcs and confesses his true feelings. if that was too detailed then its ok if u don't do it.
LET'S GO! DR STONE! Very little Dr Stone on Tumblr now. Making me sad. 😢
Also, sorry it took so long. I try to do headcanons first as in my opinion, they're a lot quicker and easier to do. ヾ(¯∇￣๑)
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
I'm Worried is All
Senku Ishigami x Fem!Reader
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
Genre: Comfort Angst
Summary: Senku has been going to work too often and it's making you worried. Is he cheating? Is he talking bad about you to his friends? Does he just not care about you anymore? Either way, you're sick of it...
Warning: Slight cussing
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
Lately, Senku has been out of the house way too often for your liking. You would make dinner and pray they could talk about his day, only for him to come in to eat and collapse on the couch. So much for his constant scoldings about how napping on the lounge can cause back and neck pain.
The most he would do now is look your way at night. He leaves early in the morning at gets home late. What is more important than you? What was more important than your marriage?
You looked a photo of when you were in the most gorgeous white dress. The day of your wedding. You sighed before grabbing the frame of the small tabletop picture and lay it on its face. Your eyes glistened as tears threatened to fall from your face.
You had just woken up from your slumber to walk around the house. You saw the clock on the wall that said that it was six in the morning.
6am and he wasn't even home. "He never has time anymore..."
You began to do your daily life chores alone, as per usual. You washed the dishes, did a quick shop at the local market, had a bath, and finished the day with a call with your best friend.
"Listen. If he doesn't care about you, then you don't have to care about him." She groaned to you over the phone. She happened to be divorced with four kids so she has more pain you'll ever have.
You laughed. "I know that, but I still care about him. And deep down, I know he cares-" "He obviously doesn't if he's not talking to you!!"
You heard her start yelling at her two middle kids, telling them to shut up. That was until she sighed. "Listen. I have to go. But divorce is always an option."
"Bye."
"I'm not finished yet-" You hung up the phone and slammed it back down.
These past few weeks, your best friend has been trying to convince you to leave Senku. But you could never do that. The most you do to acknowledge each other is you cooking him dinner.
So for once, you'll cook for yourself and yourself only. You had finally taken the eggs off the pan and on to the plate. You couldn't think of much to have so you're having what would normally be a breakfast as a dinner.
You were half way through your meal, which isn't being very filling at this moment, when you heard the front door open.
Despite it being one of the first photos you see in your house when you walk in, he didn't even notice that your wedding photo wasn't there.
You heard Senku's back crack after he stretched and heard the soft thumping of his feet as he walked to the kitchen. You could tell he was looking around until he finally said something.
"Honey? Where's my portion?" That's it.
You clicked your tounge before placing your fork on the plate you had in front of you. "You haven't spoken to me in weeks, and that's the first thing you say to me?" The sound of metal clashing with glass echoed the room which was then followed with the sound of the chair being pushed out.
"You know what, Senku?" You looked at him with a stern look in your eyes. "I've had it with you. With-..." You motioned to the both of you. "-This."
You saw as he just stared at you with confusion. He shook his head before walking up to you slowly. "Look. Whatever it is, we can sort it out later-"
"And when is later?! Huh?!" You could see him swallow his saliva that was stuck at the back of his throat. "When will that be, Senku?!" His red eyes were easier to see with how wide he had them open. "When will later be if the last real conversation we had was weeks ago?!!"
He blinked in surprise before sighing. Senku opened his eyes to see yours tearing up. "(Y/n). Listen. We can work this out."
"Work what out? This mess of a relationship?!" "Okay. You can quiet down."
You threw your arms up and slammed them against your thighs. "Rich coming from someone who hasn't spoken to me in-" "-Weeks. I get it."
He sighed and pinched his nose bridge. You held back your tears before storming upstairs, forgetting about your plate. He saw this and chased after you. "(Y/n) where are you going?"
"I'm fucking done." Senku stopped after hearing your words. He managed to mutter out "what" as you spun on your heels. "I'm done with whatever you have going on here! I don't care who you're sleeping! I don't care what you say to your friends about me! I do not care anymore!!"
At this point, the water built up in front of your eyes were streaming down your face. You flinched at his touch due to sensitivity as he put his palms on his cheeks. "Okay. We'll sort this now." He pulled you into a tight hug, he head only just being above yours. "I'm not cheating on you. I'm not talking shit about you to any of my friends. And even if I was, Taiju and Kohaku would've told you. I love you so damn much that I can't imagine either of us being with anyone else."
You arms slowly lifted up so that you both were holding on to each other. Senku smiled as he spoke some more. "The truth is, I've been extremely busy with this latest project over in the labs these past two months. Lucky for us, it's almost finished." Holding on to your shoulder, he pulled away to look at you. He had a large smile on his face. Larger than what you've ever seen on him. "And I'm sure with all the pay I'll be given, we can go on a nice holiday. Just the two of us."
You felt him wipe your tears. "And me? Cheating? Honey that is simply i-" "-Illogical... I know..." You laughed softly.
Senku gave you a small pat on the head as he laughed with you. "Ever since we met in college, I doubt I would let you go. Based on my research, we were and still are a perfect match for each other." You smiled at him as he rested his forehead on yours.
He then pulled away and patted down his clothes. "Well. I'm hungry and you didn't make anything. I think your food is half cold and you looked as if you weren't enjoying it." "You saw?"
Senku looked at you and grabbed your hand. "Honey. I look at you almost every day. You just never notice." He tapped you on the nose before walking down the stairs. He halted his step and turned around slowly. "Looking at the time, there's not enough time to cook so.." He lifted his hand out. "Let's just go get take out."
All you could do was laugh as you took his hand. You both walked to the door as you put on shoes. "What happened to junk food being bad for you?" "Well, I'm hungry. You're hungry. Food is food at this moment."
You both closed the door, not knowing he lifted the frame back up on your way out. Based on his completely logical research, you were bound to have fights but were not bound to ever break up.
── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──── ･ ｡☆*☽*☆ﾟ.──
And we are done. Sad but not too sad. Yayyyy.
Again. I am sorry this request took so long. But it is here now. I hope you liked it. I am not strong in the angst part of writing but yk.
Requests are open!!
#dr stone#senkuishigami#dcst senku#senku ishigami#ishigami senku#senku x y/n#senku x reader#angst comfort#requests open#request#requests#female reader
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Hello! I don't know if your requests are open but if they are I was wondering if I could request The Dsmp with a younger reader (Platonic of course ) who doesn't have a good home life? It doesn't have to be graphic or specific at all! If not then that's perfectly valid! It's a very heavy topic but I'm asking for the hope of some comfort? Thank you in advance and I completely understand if you don't answer this!
Thank you so much for the request, and i hope you're doing well dear <3
DSMP with young reader who doesn't have a good home life
"In your arms tonight"
Decided to do a short fic with the sleepy bois + beeduo
They were at it again, they no longer even attempted to keep quiet- though as much as you knew it shouldn't be the case, you were used to the constant yelling and glass shattering that pierced your skull almost on a daily basis.
You needed to get your mind off of this, you didn't want to listen to them any longer. So you stood up from your bed and walked over to your pc, grabbing your headphones on the way.
You didn't expect any of your friends to be awake, it was almost 3am already, you just wanted to play some Minecraft to get your mind away from the growing storm in the kitchen.
Surprisingly enough, as you opened up discord you found Wilbur, Philza, Tommy and Techno in a call together.
You didn't want to disturb them, who knows what they could be talking about but soon enough Tommy must have noticed you were online cause you got an incoming call from the blonde boy.
You hesitated for only a moment, before answering the call. Your ears met with a surprisingly soft spoken Tommy who explained that he needed to be quiet since his parents were asleep. God you wish yours were aswell.
Tommy then told you that he and the rest of the sleepy bois were planning on chatting for a good while still since all of them had had a sudden burst of energy and couldn't get to sleep, he invited you to join them and though you insisted you were fine he eventually managed to drag you into the other vc.
You greeted Phil, Wilbur and Techno before smiling to yourself, you were glad you could be friends with them, and that they honestly even put up with you- oops there goes your self degrading thoughts again.
You all had chatted for a little over half an hour and somewhere along the way bee n' boo had joined in. You had almost completely forgotten about the looming threat just behind your closed door, that was until your attention was brought to the sound of breaking glass and a bang outside your door, silencing everyone in the call. Before you heard your [parental figure] screaming at you, slurs thrown against your door in the hopes of reaching your ears, you were used to the insults and drunken slurs, they didnt hurt you as much anymore as much as they embarrassed you because everyone in the call must've heard them by now.
Everyone stayed quiet, you almost feared they'd left the call but when you finally turned back to your monitor after you heard your [parental figure] stumble away, torwards the bedroom. You heard Tommy's surprisingly loud voice speak out "What the fuck?!" this was then followed by angry questions from the teen, asking who the fuck dared to speak to you in such a way.
"Tommy please chill out, it was just my [parental figure], this is totally normal" you laughed quietly, deep down hoping he would just let it go- but now it was Philza's time to speak up "That was your [parental figure]!?" he sounded almost offended, in disbelief thats for sure.
The following ten minutes were you trying to calm everyone down while Tommy and Tubbo, along with Wilbur everyone now and again, insulted your [parental figure]. All the while Phil and Techno, aswell as Ranboo, tried to get you to agree to let them call someone to take you where you would be safer. Phil was convinced you weren't safe in your own home, insisting on you going to either Tommy- or Tubbo's place for the night.
After some time you convinced them to calm down, but only if you agreed to pack your bags the following morning and sneak off to Tommy's. Tommy would inform his parents of the situation as Phil would try to get your parents responsible for the absolute hell they've been putting you through all this time.
You didn't think you'd ever feel this cared for as your friends kept worrying about your well-being while also farewelling you to bed to rest.
You finally closed off discord and shortly after shut down your computer, at least you'd have a few day if not week long sleepover with atleast one member of the clingy duo. You could say you slept safer and calmer than most nights, waiting for morning to arrive.
--------------------------------------------
Hope this is to your liking!
I wasn't sure exactly what you were asking for, so hope this cuts it-
I was really tired and overwhelmed at the time of writing this but just couldn't pass up on such a request.
-Deity
#art#artist#dsmp#dsmp x reader#dsmp x you#cottagecore#mcyt x you#technoblade x reader#dream smp x y/n#sleepy bois inc x reader#philza x reader#philza#technothepig#techno mcyt#dsmp tommy#tommyinit mcyt#tubbo dream smp#ranboo
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