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differentkettleoffishalltogether · 4 years

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I’m On Fire [Chapter 2]

With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Spencer start to put a plan together.

A/N: I’ve got a head cold at the mo’ but I had to get a covid test just in case so I’m not allowed leave my room till I get the results! So enjoy a bonus chapter while I wallow on my own for like 36 hours :( On a positive note, thank you guys all so much for the response to chapter 1 I really didn’t see that coming! I’ve tagged everyone who asked, let me know if you wanna be added

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: Cursing, some NSFW language/themes

Word Count: 6.1k

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"Are you coming up or what?"

The question was still ringing in my ears. It caught me completely off guard. 'Up' as in up to Spencer's apartment? Where he lived? I knew he lived somewhere in theory, just like I knew deep down that he wasn't made in a test tube.

Without noticing I've undone my seatbelt and I'm hopping out of the car, following him around to the front door. I guess I am coming up.

Spencer's apartment is more cosy than I thought it was going to be. It's warm and lived in. It's not big, but I think that might be what makes it homely. Something about the way he behaves had me thinking it would be fully decked out in stainless steel or glass or something. But it wasn't pristine, it was messy.

There were books bursting from the shelves that lined the walls of the apartment, along with books laid open over nearly every surface in the place, it looked like he was in the middle of reading all of them, and honestly, I didn't doubt it. Maybe I'd misjudged him. He even had some photos of what looked like his family, and maybe friends, even some of the BAU, lining his walls or propped up on his mantle. He had little trinkets and souvenirs on his shelves too, evidence that he'd been around the country for reasons other than a case. I would never admit it to him but there was a real charm to the place.

Once we got inside he took off his bag and suit jacket, tossing them on the desk just inside of the door. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, and he seemed to pick up on my awkward energy.

"You can make yourself at home" he said, his confident streak remaining. I had no idea what to do with that. What would even make me comfortable in Spencer Reid's apartment? I took a seat on his sofa and just sat with my hands resting in my lap. Really not even sure where I should look without feeling like I was invading his privacy. Even though I wanted to. I think it was morbid curiosity, looking for clues on who this man might actually be outside of the BAU. What I really wanted to do was stand up and walk around, soaking in every bit if this place as if it would help me decipher our messy relationship.

He returned to the living room a few moments later, two mismatched mugs in his hands. He places one in front of me on the coffee table. I pick it up and take a sip. It's lemon and ginger, how did he know what kind of tea I liked? I held the mug in my hands inhaling the steam in an effort to relax. When I look up he's watching me, arms folded across his chest.

"So, how does this thing work. What's the game plan?" I honestly have no real idea. This evening really got away from me, I was still expecting to snap out of it and wake up in my bed at any moment.

"Well I can't say I've ever been in a Sandra Bullock movie before either so this is uncharted territory for me too" I say with a chuckle, trying to ease the tension. Even a little. I can see him crack a small smile but hides it almost instantly, his face hardening again.

"My sister, Margot, she's getting married in like 4 months." I can feel myself tense and I shake out my shoulders, I have to remind myself that he's agreed to this already, "Fuck it, I'm just going to be honest with you. My Mom's mostly freaked out that I'm too attached to this job and that I'll just never find someone again." I shouldn't have said again, fuck. I hope he didn't pick up on that. Who am I kidding. "Even though, I'm not sure I care if I do or don't?" he doesn't say anything, like he's waiting for me to continue. I know I've shared a little too much already but I keep going.

"Margot's 2 years younger than me, I introduced her to her fiancé Philip, we met in college, he's a sweetheart. But since they've gotten engaged Mom's gotten exponentially weirder. I think she's convinced I'm fully going to die alone, as if that would be the worst thing that could ever happen? Anyway, she's been trying to auction me off to all these guys, using this wedding as an excuse. I'm not sure how much of that phone call you actually heard earlier but Mom was trying to sell me on this guy, David, and I just… snapped." I look up at Spencer and he unfolds his arms, leaning in ever so slightly coaxing the story out of me.

"David, he uh, he worked for my father for a while back in high school, filing documents and stuff, busy work mostly. He used to make out with me when he was at our house after school, but then he'd ignore me in the halls the next morning. I know it's because I was a pariah back then or something but I didn't want to think about it today and I just got worked up. I shouldn't have let on that you were my date, I was just going to ask if I could bring Garcia or something, and I'm sorry." I cover my face in my hands, "I'm insane, you can back out if you want to."

I can hear him move from his spot on the opposite side of the sofa, he takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands from my face. He looks into my eyes, "I'm in this now Y/N, what do you need me to do?" he asks, and there's a genuine earnest in his voice that I think I've only ever heard a handful of times. And it's never been directed at me.

"Okay, well we've got a few months before you ha–, wait, fuck!" I throw my head back, there's already a complication, "shit" I curse under my breath. His eyebrows knit together, sitting upright.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I forgot about my Mom's 50th, it's next month. They've got this whole huge party planned back home in upstate New York. I've gotta go and they'll probably want to meet you, or they're gonna have a load of questions for me at least. I can try and get you out of it I'm sure"

He gets that cocky look again, he shakes his head "I don't know, I've always liked a bit of competition" he reclines back into his corner of the sofa, taking a satisfied sip from his own mug before speaking again. "You know, if I've got to learn enough to pass as your boyfriend in a month, surely that means you've got to learn enough to pass as my girlfriend within the month, no?"

Oh god. What have I done, why didn't I think this far ahead. "I mean, yeah I guess you're right." I had to remember he was doing me a favor. I had to get over myself. "Okay, if you're sure you're up for that?" I ask, and he nods, and I think he looks excited, or maybe he just finds the whole situation funny.

"If anyone's up for the competition it's you" he says, and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or a dig but I nod in agreement.

He takes another sip of his tea, collected and relaxed. I can't help but notice how at ease he is when he's in his own surroundings. I'm so used to seeing him sitting at a desk surrounded by paperwork, or combing through file after file in the make-shift office in a small-town police station, usually flustered or anxious, or antagonizing me whenever he wasn’t. This was a different Spencer. Completely in control, at ease.

"Alright, shall we get started then, we can't really afford to waste any time can we?" he was actually sort of right, so I nodded. It was only now occurring to me that I'd have to share parts of my personal life with him if I wanted this plan to work. We already knew the basics about each other, I'd read his file when I started at the BAU, I'd read everyones. And I feel like it was safe to presume he'd done the same.

His eyes bore directly into mine as he leaned forward, I think he was enjoying how uncomfortable I must've looked.

"How about I ask you some rapid-fire questions and you have to answer 'em?" he asks, and it's as good of a plan as any, and I can't think of any other suggestions, so I nod.

"Okay, shoot." I say, unsure and nervous, so I brace myself. I'm just grateful that he's making my life easier rather than harder for what feels like the first time since I met him.

I really should've known better.

He leans in, "So Y/N, first question, when did you lose your virginity?"

I almost choke on the mouthful of tea I just took, that can't be what he just asked, and he looks like he's savoring my shocked expression.

"I uh, I don't think you need to know that?" is all I can get out.

"Really? You think that's something your boyfriend wouldn't know about you?" he's right, but I didn't want to admit it outright.

"I feel like I sort of already hinted. It was that same guy David, I was 18, he was 19. We had sex on the couch while my parents went out one evening. I kept my bra on the whole time, he came, I didn't. It was all very standard stuff." I wasn't sure what compelled me to add that last part. I think I was giving in to the open honestly thing. "So what about you Doc?" I challenged.

He didn't seem embarrassed, or even shy. "I must've bloomed little later than you" he admits with a soft chuckle, "Vivian Stewart, I was 21, she was too. It was the last semester of my last PhD and I figured I must be missing out on something. And I sure was" he smirks to himself. "I came, she did too, 3 times. I did a lot of research ahead of time" he mirrored my story and I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel a little impressed but I tried with everything I had to stifle it so he couldn't tell. I wish it didn't make me feel something but it did. I gulp down the mouthful of tea that's been sitting in my throat.

I have to shake myself back to reality. I can't give him the satisfaction of throwing me. "My turn." I command, "When was your last relationship Dr. Reid?" I ask, "I mean like, serious one, not like hook-up" I clarify before he can ask. He thinks on it for a moment.

"I'm not sure what you classify as fully serious, but I guess it was this girl, Rebecca, we dated for a while when I first joined the BAU but it didn't work out. What about you?" he flips it back.

"So that was what, like 6-ish years ago?" I ask, he just nods.

"Mine was like 3 years ago now I think. I met this guy Nathan on my first week of college, we dated for like 4 years. He moved here for me when I got accepted by the BAU." I had to stop myself from delving into the detail. It was a long time ago now but it still hurt. "Long story short, the hours were demanding and they got in the way more than I would've liked. We ended up splitting a couple months after I got the job." I tried to play it off like it wasn't one of the more devastating things to happen in my life. But something told me he’d registered that, so he didn't push.

His energy picks up and he looks at me with a grin, but there's something a little sinister behind it. "I've got a more fun question for you." he leans in closer to me, "Y/N, when was the last time you got laid?" I just looked at him in shock.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I can go first if you really need me to?" his voice didn't waver,

"Fuck you Reid, I know when it was!" I snapped back at him. I did have to think back a little farther than I'd like to pull up the memory.

"Met this guy in a bar when I was out with Pen one night, we went back to his place and hooked up." I say as deadpan as I can make it.

"Well that's not very exciting is it?" he jokes, "Did you at least cum that time?" I know he's just trying to rile me up, but I answer anyway.

"As a matter of fact I did" I earn back a little of my confidence.

"I'm so happy for you, but you did manage to avoid my initial question" fuck "when was this exciting night of yours Y/N?" he probes, like I really, really wished he wouldn't. I could lie, but I'm sure he'd be able to tell. I cringe before I can say it.

"About 8 months ago" I mutter, just low enough for him to hear.

"Sorry, did you just say 8 months ago?" He nearly shouts in disbelief, he seems to find it funny.

"Hey fuck you Spencer!" I go on the defensive, "When was the last time you even got laid?"

"Like two and half weeks ago" he says, confident, and still laughing, "Wait wait, when was the last time you got yourself off? I know you're not waiting 8 months!" he giggles and I think I could kill him. I know I kept giving him outs but was it too late for me to just get up and leave?

"I'm not doing this with you if you're just gonna make fun of me Reid, I get enough of that at work" I get out, my voice is serious but I'm trying to hide how awkward all of this is making me feel, and I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.

I can tell that's gotten to him, he relaxes and eases up on the giggling. "Look okay wait Y/N. I'll stop, I'm not actually trying to make fun of you. I was being serious, I think stuff like this is important if we're gonna have to be comfortable around each other enough to seem like a real couple. Plus, it'll just help break the ice?" he shrugs. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I soften, because I agree, even thought I hate that he's right. "Fine" I collect my thoughts, "2 nights ago I'm pretty sure." I regret it almost instantly, but breaking the ice is supposed to feel awkward.

"Same here actually," he chuckles, "what'd you do?" I'm so startled by the question I almost forget how to answer.

"I, uh, my, my vibrator? I just felt like uh, I watched some..." I still can't force out a whole sentence. It's not like I was always awkward about sex or anything, I could talk to Garcia, or honestly probably any of the other team members about it. But with Spencer it didn't feel as comfortable. He still sat calmly, smiling just a little.

"Same here, 2 nights back, but with my hands I guess. I wonder if we were doing it at the same time?" he mutters the last part gently and my head goes a bit fuzzy. My eyes drift away from his face and settle on his hands, the mug he's holding looks so tiny with his fingers wrapped around it, I wondered how they'd look wrapped around my-

"Okay I think that's enough for one night, don't you think?" I jump up off the sofa and turn, mostly so that he doesn't catch the blush thats creeping from my neck up to my cheeks. And because I don't know what I'll say, or regret saying, if this conversations continues on its current trajectory.

"Sure," he says, standing up next to me, and I want to move further away instantly, "you're probably right, and it's getting a little late now anyway" he glances at his watch. Ushering me back towards his front door and opening it up. Before I can walk out he lightly touches my shoulder to turn me back to face him, and I wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from every part of me.

"So are you free next Friday after work?" he asks, and I'm so flustered I almost forget why, I just nod. "Perfect, how about we come here again and we can dive into preparing? You could also make a start on getting these onto a hard drive?" he gestures to the antique looking hardbacks adorning the shelves.

'Sounds great!" I perk up, feigning enthusiasm, "See you then!"

"Well, see you Monday morning actually Y/N" he smirks as I walk out the door. Fuck, he was right.

I really hadn't thought this through.

——

The weekend was a bit of a blur. I decided to try and put some useful information into a document for Spencer. It felt strange to try and condense my life into as few pages as possible. I knew Reid had an eidetic memory, and nothing would necessarily overwhelm him. But I also knew that he was someone that the team relied on to fill in a lot of the gaps in the rest of the our knowledge. So I felt bad about dumping a load of information on him, especially considering it was a favor he was doing for me.

I'd complied the majority of my life into a 15 page document and printed it out. Hopefully that would address most of what my family could guerrilla attack him with. There was also something unsettling about the imbalance. I was going to give him so many of the intricate details of my life in a little file, whereas all I really knew about Spencer was what I'd taken it upon myself to learn about him throughout the past few years.

I'd read all of his work while I was in college, given how he was the gold standard of getting into the BAU at a young age, I wanted to know who this guy was. I think I'd pictured something different. And I couldn't deny there was something enticing about finally getting to know him after all of these years of working together. Maybe this could actually be fun, or interesting at least.

----

I arrived early on Monday morning. I thought I was first into the office as usual but Garcia was sitting in my desk chair waiting for me. The second she saw me walk in she tensed, she must've known we were the only people in this early.

"What happened! You've been avoiding me all weekend?" she asked, and she was right. I'd drafted enough texts to her, trying to explain what the plan was, mostly without wanting to admit that she was right. Maybe I was stubborn.

"Alright okay, I drove Reid home." I admitted, dropping my bag by my desk. She rolls her eyes at me, dramatic as always.

"Well I knew that already Y/N damn! What happened next?"

"Fine, we went into his apartment and talked for a while. Trying to sort out the details, get a handle on things I guess?" I said, unsure of how much I should actually give away about our conversation.

"What things!?" She shouts, standing up from my desk,

"I don't know Pen, like logistics and stuff, I still haven't decided how I feel about that little stunt you pulled on Friday night!" I let my frustration get the better of me, and maybe that's why I haven't talked to her. It could also be because I know she's able to read me like a book and I'm not even sure how I feel about this whole situation.

"I call bullshit." She counters, "I know you were relived as hell when I sorted that whole thing out. You would've had anxiety tummy all weekend if I hadn't called Spencer!" I just go silent, she was right. I'd gotten so caught up in the whole, 'how to have a fake boyfriend' that I'd almost forgotten about how stressed I was about Spencer hearing my call in the first place.

"Okay, shit" I sigh. "Maybe you were right Pen. We're actually meeting up again this Friday after work to make a plan for the next while, so I guess that's progress?" I shrug, trying to play it off like this whole situation doesn't make my stomach flip.

"Ohhhhh! So like a date?" She probes, her enthusiasm rising drastically.

"Oh my God Pen no! Like an appointment at best" I diffuse the situation

"Ugh that's no fun" she says, not even trying to disguise her disappointment.

As if on cue Dr. Reid walks through the double doors into the bullpen. Both Garcia and I wave, overall awkwardly, but making an attempt pretend like things were completely normal and like nothing had changed since the last time we were all in the office together.

Penelope heads to her office as the bullpen starts to fill up quickly. Less than an hour later though Garcia's back at my desk and there's a new case that needs the teams attention in Boston. I follow her into the conference room and wait for the rest of the team to join. Spencer follows a moment later with 2 cups of coffee in his hands. I can see my mug in his hand and my automatic response is that he's messing with me. But he places my mug in front of me in the circular table before taking the seat next to me, listening to Garcia's briefing. I don't know if he's ever sat next to me in this conference room, at least not by choice.

I barely had any time to finish my coffee before I have to say goodbye to Garcia and hop on the jet to Boston.

----

The case was grueling. More so than usual. It was wrapped up late on Thursday night and the team decided to fly back home first thing on Friday morning. I was exhausted. Even if there was enough time to get sleep each night it wasn't like I got any. Whenever a case got on top of me like this it made it hard to rest, or get it off my mind at all until it was wrapped up. So even though it was over, that didn't mean I wasn't exhausted.

Hotch gave the team the rest of the day off, given that we have until submit our paperwork by Monday. I wasn't sure if Spencer's invitation from the following week still stood. I didn't want to ask, partly because I was so tired, but also because I was scared. I wasn't about to show up at his house in an effort to have a heart to heart, or hand him a condensed version of my life story on a manilla envelope if he was as drained as I was.

Standing by my desk I packed up everything I'd need to get my paperwork done over the weekend, I was just about finished when Spencer snuck up behind me, perching himself on the edge of my desk. "So, you almost ready to go?" he asks, like it's the most obvious question in the world. I couldn't really hide my surprise.

"Oh yeah. That's fine, I mean, if you're still cool with that?" I ask, and I hate how flustered I sound, like he makes me nervous.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He chuckles, standing up straight.

"Cool, gimme a sec and I'll be good to go."

I pack up the rest of my stuff quickly and we make our way out. There's something that feels a little eerie about the two of us being in an elevator together alone again. It was a different kind of awkward to how it felt a week before hand. It almost felt like a kind of tension rather than a hatred or a rivalry. Either way we rode down in silence.

Once we got to the basement Spencer walks out of the elevator and walks straight to my car without having to ask. I unlock it and he hops into the passenger seat. Like this is a natural interaction. Something we do all the time. And I don't hate it as much as I thought I would.

"So," he says, buckling up his seat belt and breaking the silence, "do you know how to get to my place from here or do you need directions again?"

"Well I've got to turn on the engine first" I tease, hoping he picks up on the reference to our last car ride, he chuckles like he does.

"Are you hungry?" he asks

"Starving."

The delivery guy get's to Spencer's apartment at almost the same time we do.

---

Once the food's been demolished the two of us finally sit on his sofa, the same sides as the week before. "So, shall we get back into this?" He asks, sitting forward slightly to pull a notebook out of his satchel on the floor. It's small and lavender, and it's got a pen clipped into the spine. He cracks it open and flips to a specific page.

"Sorry, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the book, he looks confused,

"They're my notes?" he says, like it should be obvious

"Your notes?" I ask,

"My notes on you." he smirks, again like I'm silly for even asking.

He had notes on me? He had a whole notebook on me? What was even in that thing?

"You've got notes on me?" I ask, my hands reaching out to grab it, but he retreats faster than I can catch him. "What have you got in there that's so serious?"

"Nothing." and his tone's a bit too stern and I don't really want to push it when he's being so uncharacteristically nice to me.

"I've actually got this ready for you" I pull the file out of my own bag and toss it to him. "I'm not sure exactly what you need to know but that should be the majority of it at least."

He opens it up and glances over the the pages. It takes him all of 2 minutes to get through the whole thing. It feels unsettling that he's taking in a boiled down version of my life while I'm just sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Trying to avoid the attention I pipe up.

"Um, hey, maybe it would be a good time for you to show me where to make a start digitizing your books over here?" I stand up and make my way to the shelf. He jumps up off the sofa and walks toward me, visibly excited.

"That's actually a great idea, I thought that the theses from my degrees could be a good place to start, since I'm pretty sure they're not backed up anywhere." he guides me to a section of the book case by the window. There's a series of leather bound hardbacks, the same gold font embossed on the spines. I recognize all of them, pulling out the first one.

"This is my favorite" I say without thinking about it and he does a double take, clearly thrown.

"You've, uh, you read my work?" he asks, completely puzzled. I'm sort of proud that I've managed to make him this awkward, and I nod.

"Mmhm, back before I joined the BAU actually. Before I really knew you" I regret saying the last part, it comes out a little meaner than I really wanted it to so I back track. "Spencer, I read all of your work while I was in college, you were like the gold standard. I don't think I slept more than 2 hours a night throughout my PHD because I was just trying to get as much done as you." and his face softens at the admission. But it takes him a moment before he responds. Leaving the two of us in silence a little too long.

"I had no idea" is all he says.

"I think this one was best" I say propping up the one in my hand, "you get a bit cockier as you move on” His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "but I'll start with all of these I guess" I grab the matching books and stack them in my arms. Walking over to his desk and setting up. Glancing at the clock it was only 7pm so I decided to just make a start.

Spencer didn't contest. Letting me just get settled at his desk, I pull out my laptop and begin work on transcribing the first volume. After a few minutes he silently places a cup of tea down beside me and goes to sit on the sofa. The time rolls in quickly after that, each time I look up at Spencer he's carefully combing through the file I'd given him. Re-reading it and making little markings in his lavender notebook. I'm not really sure what I put in there that was worth making a note on but clearly he was reading between the lines on some things. That little notebook was like a profile of me.

When he seemed like he'd finished writing he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it aimlessly like I'd never seen him do before. It made him look so normal. His eyebrows knit together as he's looking at something on his screen and he stands up. Making his way over to me at the desk and shows me what he was looking at.

"Who's this?" he asks, "This guy you're with?"

I recognize the photo instantly. It's from a few years earlier, Nathan and I on the beach, my head resting on his chest. He'd taken it while we were on vacation celebrating our anniversary. That was about a month before I got into the BAU, I had no idea that was going to be our last anniversary. I gulp down the emotions that it stirs. I'm mostly over the whole thing by now, but looking at old photos like that, photos of happier times, it can still sting.

"That's uh, the boyfriend I was telling you about last week. Nathan, we broke up not long after I joined the BAU?" he nods, but he's smart, and I kind of figure he already knew that.

"Ah alright" he takes out the hardback and jots another note down. Maybe he's trying to get a read on me.

"What are you doing?" I gesture to the phone,

"It's research, do you not think that if you and I were really dating that stalking your social media profiles would be on my agenda?" he's smug, and he's right. But I guess I just didn't expect it from him.

"Well that's not really fair now is it? I can't reciprocate, you've got no social media presence whatsoever!" he finds that funny, letting out a deep chuckle and tucking his phone away in his back pocket.

"Maybe so, but that imbalance is hardly my fault. Besides, you've read all my dissertations apparently..."

"Bastard" I joke, slamming my laptop shut and throwing a pen from his desk at him so that it lightly bounces off the top of his head.

"Hey, there's no need for violence Y/N!" he rubs the spot beneath his curls, "Maybe it's time you took a break actually?" he says, sitting himself back down on the sofa.

I was reluctant to admit it but he was right. My eyes were starting to go a little fuzzy after looking at the screen for so long. I stand up and stretch my arms out above my head, feeling my spine stretch out after sitting for so long, letting out a low groan. Spencer waves me over to the sofa and I join him.

"How about we go back to basics?" Spencer asks with a small grin, and I can't help but let out a long sigh.

"I thought I was taking a break, no more questions" he just laughs at me,

"Relax, you're not that interesting, it's just a simple question." he states, and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to find it funny or offensive

"Ugh, fine, shoot"

"Well, actually it's two questions" he corrects, "what's your favorite movie, and what's your favorite snack?"

I'm confused mostly by the fact that it actually is a simple question, I was expecting something a lot more contentious, but also because he looks eager to know the answer.

"I'm not really sure what my favorite movie is to be honest, one of them is Night of the Living Dead?"

He nods to himself, and jots it down in the notebook again, "Alright, I can make that work" he stands up off the sofa before turning back to me, "and snack?"

"Peanut butter cups I guess?" I respond and he grins ear to ear, which is a completely new sight, and I like it way more than I thought I would.

"Perfect, gimme 2 minutes!" he leaves the living room and wanders towards the kitchen.

Spencer returns a few minutes later with a DVD, a packet of peanut butter cups , and a thick knitted blanket gathered in his arms. He drapes the blanket over me and gently places the peanut butter cups on top of it before popping the DVD into the player and sitting down beside me. I'm not really sure how to process any of the situation. Am I about to watch a movie on Spencer Reid's sofa? Sitting next to Spencer Reid?

"I... I, uh, thought you were just asking for your notes?" I ask, pointing at the notebook resting in his lap. He picks it up and throws it onto the coffee table.

"Sometimes I find experience is the best teacher, don't you?" he asks before pressing play, “And besides, it should keep you quiet for a whole 96 minutes” of course.

I can only nod in agreement, I'm not really sure what I'll say if I try to speak. I get myself cosy under the warm blanket and we watch the movie in near silence.

Once the credits roll Spencer finally speaks up, "I actually went to see a screening of this last month downtown, there was this little old horror movie fest-" I cut him off without really realizing, I'm just strangely excited that we've genuinely got something in common.

"Holy shit, I was there!" I say, more enthusiastic than the situation calls for.

He laughs at my excitement, "Well, I guess we have more overlap than I thought, that should probably help with the whole charade." he stretches his arms up over his head and let's out a small, gentle yawn. I'd been enjoying myself more than I thought I would, or would ever tell Spencer, that I'd almost forgotten that we'd both been on a case for almost every waking moment of the past week. I really should feel a lot more drained than I do.

I was just after midnight when I suggested that I head back home. I offered to take some of the books home to work on throughout the weekend but Spencer insisted that I just work on them whenever I came over again. I sort of felt like I should thank him for the evening when I was on my way out the door, or give him a quick hug, no that felt wrong. In the end all I could really muster was a lousy, "goodnight" and a meek wave on my way out the door before I drove home. And couldn't get to sleep.

— —

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@collectiveuniverses

@cm-imagines-07

@criminalmindzjunkie

@rainsong01

@70sreid

@andiebeaword

@arctic-duchess

@mggsprettygirl

@thebadassbitchqueen

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sakkkurra · 3 years

Text

Don’t leave me Pt.3

Pairing : yan!BTS x reader

A/N: Hi! So finally I am here with new chapter, sorry that it took so long. I hope you all are doing great. Finally the situation here is getting better with Covid-19 and I send prayers to India- hang on there! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Also reminder that this story is pure fiction and does not this display BTS's real behaviour or characters. This behaviour is toxic and dangerous in real life. Stay safe!

Warnings: angst, NONCON , yandere themes, obsessive behaviour, language

Preview : " Since birth, you could see creatures from other realms. It was your special gift and you were quite thankful for it. But one fateful meeting with seven fallen angels makes you wish you weren’t born special. After all if it wasn’t for your so called gift, you wouldn’t have been in the clutches of monsters with no way out."

-part1- -part2- -part3-

"You don’t gotta worry about a thing nah not a thang."

Yeah right, you thought sarcastically. How stupid of you to think that you will be safe with them. That they will protect you from all the bad things in world. But you always felt secure with Hoseok. He always seemed like the mighty protector. Oh but how wrong you were. Because now, looking at him you can finally see that he is anything but it."Hi my beautiful dove. I guess your little escape plan failed hm?" you hear him say. You look him in eyes and hope that he will burn."Oh come on, don’t give me that look Y/N. It’s not my fault that you weren’t able to succeed. But what did you expect, hm? After all, you are so weak" he says with mocking tone and you know he is trying to provoke you. But damn he is doing a great work. If it weren’t for Taehyung's hand on your waist holding you down you would have already tried strike him."Fuck you!" you spit at him but he only scoffs."Oh? I thought that’s your job dove" he says and smirks. You hear others let out a small laugh. How you wish you could punch all of them in the face. "What are we gonna do with her hyung? After all she broke the rule and tried to leave us here all alone" Jungkook says while he is standing up from his comfortable seat and walks closer to you. You are always taken aback by his huge form when it’s in contrast with his baby face. He stops few inches before you and looks deeply into your eyes. As always, they are breathtakingly beautiful."Let me see Kook" Hoseok says and comes closer to you as well. He grabs your chin between his fingers and looks at your face. "Our Y/N was very selfish and did a very bad thing. I think I have the right thing in the store that will teach such a bad girl the a lesson" he smiles at you sweetly but you know better that behind this sweet smile lays brutal monster. You gulp down and pray for whatever force to save you from them.

-past-

All seven of us are walking towards the closest church that I could think of. Taehyung or Tae, as he told me to call him, stayed home because of his wounds. The walk was filled with small talk about me and my life."There is nothing special" I've told them but Namjoon kept telling me that it’s no trivial thing for them. To be honest it felt nice for once to be centre of attention. "So you could see creatures since you were born?"Jimin asked me. I nod and see that we are finally near church."So what do you need to do inside the church?" I ask them as we enter."Just some things that we angels need for survival here down on Earth" Hoseok answers and all six of them gather around altar. They start pushing it away and I watch them from above. I didn’t know that angels need "survival packs" to stay down here. As they moved the altar I saw that there was hole under it. Jungkook jumped down into hole and soon Jimin with Yoongi followed."Can I help with something?" I asked them because I wanted to be useful."Just watch the door darling and let us know if someone was coming" said Jin with charming smile and I mumble small okay and get to work. Soon all of them are inside the hole. It must be some kind of catacombs down there I thought. I don’t know how long I was on my watch waiting for them but I was starting to get really bored. Seeing that streets are empty and nobody was coming I've decided that I will take a closer look. And as I thought it was really catacombs. I couldn’t see much of it since it was dark but there were old rusty stairs leading down to the dark."Guys are you ok?" I shout but there is no reply. Suddenly I am very nervous. I mean what if something happened to them. Or they got lost? I take out my phone from my pocket and turn the light on. I will just go down and check if everything is all right I tell myself and start walking down the stairs. It was really chilly and damp down there. I was thankful for the little light that I’ve got but it wasn’t much. I was walking trough the old passageway. At the end of it was crossroad with four different gates."Guys hello. Are you there?" I shout but the only reply is my echo followed by thick silence. I feel shivers run down my spine. I didn’t feel comfortable there so I've decided to go back. But as I turned back there was wall before me. I have been staring at the wall for about one minute. I have seen enough horror movies to know where this leads so yes, I've panicked a little. I started running towards the gate that was on the right side. I know that it wasn’t right to do something in this state but I couldn’t help it. I don’t know how long I was running when suddenly I felt that the ground under me started moving and falling apart. I shrieked when I've felt that my feet lost contact with ground and I started falling into the deep darkness. That’s it I am gonna die I thought and kept screaming. I squeezed my eyes waiting to hit ground when I've felt someone arms around me. I opened my eyes in shock but I couldn’t see who was holding me and pressing me to his chest due to dark. I had lost my phone during the fall so I couldn’t light on him. All I knew was that we still weren’t on the ground. It felt like we were flying. Suddenly there was bright light and I needed to shut my eyes because it was hurting them."Shh it’s okay Y/N. Everything is okay, you are safe" said voice that I knew. It was Hoseok's voice. I've opened my eyes and realised that we are back in church. We were back on the ground in each others embrace. "What were you doing down there Y/N, hm? It was no place for you. If it wasn’t for me you would still be falling like a little fragile dove. Oh, that’s what I will call you. My sweet vulnerable dove" he says while he is caressing my head."I-I was just looking for you guys because you were down there for a l-long time so I thought that something happened and the next t-thing I knew was that I-I was falling and"I wanted to continue but I broke into sobs and couldn’t keep talking. Hoseok stayed with me until I calmed down. Even after that he didn’t pull

away from me which felt really nice. It felt so safe and right to be in his arms."We were so worried for you Y/N. When we came back you weren’t there so all of us went looking for you. Good thing that I've founded you or else...Ah, I don’t even wanna think about it dove"he says and pulls me closer. I seriously don’t know what happened down there but for now I will leave it be."Thank you for saving me Hobi" I whisper to him."Hobi?"he says with amused tone. "Yes can I call you like that?I like it more than Hoseok" I say with smile on my lips. Hobi looks down at me and smiles too."Sure thing, dove. I love it. As for what happened down there" he says with worried tone" you really didn’t need to go there. Looking and worrying about us. Huh you are really weird girl Y/N. You don’t need to worry about us. If anything Y/N, I will be the one protecting you. You don’t need to worry dove, I will always keep you safe from everyone and everything." I nod and snuggle closer to him. How lucky I am to have met them I thought.

-back to present-

You slowly open your eyes and look around your surroundings. Ah, back in the old familiar room you thought bitterly. You hated this room. After all, it’s where they always kept you locked. "Your room"as they put it ,was a fancy chamber with one big king sized bed in the middle.If it weren’t for the library that Namjoon let you have you would have gone insane. But now you had bigger problems to deal with than being locked in this room. They really didn’t spare you with punishment this time. Especially Hoseok took enjoyment in it. The first part where they were striking you with little electric shocks that was coming from their hands was bearable. You didn’t even scream or cry. You grew immune to this by now. But than they did something much worse. They filled your mind with memories, happy memories with your mom and Zira. It was cruel reminder how much you had then and weren’t thankful enough for it. How much freedom you had. That broke you. You really felt like dying. The physical pain was bad, yes, but the mental pain was truly killing you. You wanted to stay strong you really did. But maybe Hoseok was right. You were weak. Speaking of the devil you heard yours door open and someone sitting on the bed next to you. You didn’t need to look up who it was you knew it is Hoseok. He always came visit you after punishment because he enjoyed to see you so helpless and broken. What a sadistic prick you thought. He started"Dove when will you learn? Running away from us and trying to leave us. Come on Y/N, you know that’s not happening. Why don’t you try and be good for us hm? For me? So I don’t have to hurt you. You know I only want the best for you dove" he says and starts caressing your left thigh. Yeah right you didn’t look like you minded hurting me back then you though but you don’t have enough power to say it. You lay down there for a while and the room is filled only with your heavy breathing. Suddenly you feel him laying down next to you. He puts his hand around you and pulls you closer. Hoseok puts his head on the crook of your neck and inhales your scent."You know dove, everything can be so much easier if you just stopped fighting us. It would be like old good times. You and seven of us. So stop this stupid rebellion and let us love you. Stop trying to leave us." Silent tears are streaming down your face."No"is the only thing you say to him. You feel his body stiffen and hear low chuckle." So it will be no huh? Good Y/N. Because it gives me purpose. You see I was always the one that only brought pain to others.I was nothing more than beast that enjoyed tearing others apart And I know that I bring pain to you too dove. But trust me for once, it’s for good purpose. You don’t need to see it just accept it. Because trough this pain I will keep you safe here with us. So in the end I want to say thank you Y/N" he says and puts small kiss on your neck. And soon the kiss is followed by his hands roaming around your body. Then you feel his hungry lips on yours . You lay still as he undresses both of you. You lay still as you are watching him above you while he is pounding inside you. You look at the small drops of sweat that are forming on his forehead. I didn’t know that angels can sweat you think. But it makes you happy. It gives you hope. Because if they can sweat they can bleed. And if they can bleed they can die. And if they can die you can be free once more. Just endure it Y/N you tell yourself. Because soon you will be back on your feet ready to strike again. So you lay there without moving letting him ruin you. Huh Hoseok the angel of pain and suffering indeed is what you think just before you black out.

#yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #yandere hoseok #yandere yoongi #yandere taehyung #yandere jimin #yandere jin #yandere namjoon #yandere jungkook #yandere #bts yandere

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smileystudies · 3 years

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hi!! I just saw your post about fulfilling your summer goals by moving somewhere new and making friends, etc. so first of all: congrats!! It is genuinely so motivating and inspiring to see others achieve their dreams and change their lives for the better!

Secondly (my actual question!) I was wondering if you could give any advice about moving to a new country and making friends there?

I'll be changing country too for my masters degree next year and I'm pretty nervous that I'll be isolated because I'm super shy and I don't speak the native language :/

hey there anon!! FYI I think you're my first real anon ask so thanks for dropping me a note, AND thanks for the congratulations 🥺💕

as for advice, I've only been living abroad for just over two months, so I'm still figuring out this whole socializing-while-shy thing myself! there's four things I can suggest: 1) find out who else is in your cohort! is there a facebook page or whatsapp group for foreign students at your university? join it and say hi! everyone will be just as eager as you to meet new people and make new friends. if you can, try to come a little early so you can get to know a few people before classes start. go out for meals and explore the city together! this will also help you establish a support system of other people who are going through the same experience as you. if I'm being honest, I wouldn't be having half as good a time if I hadn't spent a ton of time with three other people in my program in the two weeks before our grants began.

2) join clubs, take classes and/or consider volunteering. on the surface, this might be tricky since you're going to face a language barrier, but that's actually a great excuse to take classes (if you can) and get to know other people who are new to the country. if you'll be at university and are confident speaking english, you'll almost certainly be able to find a group that works in english as well. theatre groups, choirs, book clubs... all of these would be great possibilities!

3) push yourself out of your comfort zone at least once a week, and reward yourself! this might be going to a museum alone, asking a classmate to get coffee, or trying a new food. it's important to remind yourself that you CHOSE this experience and feeling overwhelmed/homesick/scared is part of that.

4) if you're in control of your housing situation, try to live with at least one local. that way you have an "in" to the community. otherwise, try to make friends with someone who DOES have a local roommate and mooch off their social gatherings

and one last piece of general advice: come to terms with the fact that you'll spend a lot of time doing things alone, a lot of time confused, and a lot of time frustrated. living abroad, you spend FAR less time with friends than you might have during school or university, and that's totally normal.

all that said, I'm beyond excited for the adventure you have ahead of you!! please know that my dms are ALWAYS open if you want to talk more with no judgement. I also know I have a lot of mutuals who have studied in other countries, so if anyone has any other advice feel free to chime in!

xoxo,

Isabel

(also SO sorry this somehow posted before I was ready!!)

#ask #anon #living abroad #advice #knife gang #more advice encouraged #my inbox is always open <3

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baepsaets · 5 years

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hi! i saw you were going to south korea this summer and i was just wondering if you spoke any korean? and if you did, do you have any tips or anything? there's no classes near me to learn so i've been trying to learn myself because i really want to visit there someday. btw i hope you have fun! 💖💖

hi anon! thank you so much for your well wishes!

i’ve been studying korean on and off for a few months now, but these past several weeks i’ve really knuckled down and started taking my studies seriously. i’m also from an area that doesn’t offer any classes, so i’ve been self-studying. i’m gonna add a little “read more” and put a couple tips i’ve collect under the cut.

1.) start with hangul!

i cannot stress this one enough. some people, when they first start out, just skip hangul because they’re more interested in learning major phrases. sure, knowing major phrases is helpful, and it makes you feel smart as shit when you recognize them while watching a kdrama, but hangul is really the basis of korean and to properly read and speak korean, you need to learn hangul.

2.) build a relevant vocabulary!

to avoid getting overwhelmed, start with vocabulary that’s relevant to your daily life. if you’re a student, learn school-related vocabulary. book, paper, pencil, desk, chair. if you plan on working in an office, learn office-related vocabulary. good basic vocabulary to learn along with these would be weather, food, household items, clothing, numbers, ect. but make sure that when you study vocabulary, you don’t overwhelm yourself by doing too many words too fast.

listen, starting out, we’re all basically babies. do babies know a lot of vocabulary? no! but they learn and collect more words as their skills grow! if you learn too much vocabulary too soon, you’re going to struggle more not to just forget it all after you’ve learned it, especially when you self-study.

3.) try to make a concrete self-study schedule!

self-study is hard as shit, no lie. it’s hard to keep yourself motivated and invested. i really recommend trying to find a buddy to help you along your journey. if that’s not possible, try to make your self-study sessions as structured as possible. for me, that meant having set study days with an itinerary so i always knew what i was studying for that day. i’ve actually created a couple of my own worksheets that i’ve printed out and completed, but that’s the teacher in me jumping out. if you keep yourself on a tighter leash, you’ll be less likely to slack off when you’re having a lazy day.

because guess what, that will happen! and there’s nothing wrong with that! some days you’re not going to want to study, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or a bad student, or you’re not “really interested” in learning korean. learning is not always a linear line. take those days as they come and do your best to study what you can. i’ve just noticed that for me, personally, having a more structured self-study schedule has helped me combat these lazy days, when i’m not in the mood to do anything.

4.) find someone who speaks korean!

i had to include this one just because it’s such a good tip, but let’s be honest - this isn’t always applicable for everyone. i live in the middle of nowhere where people barely even speak their own native language, let alone korean. i recommend trying to find a website or chat group created for helping people learn languages! somewhere out there is a native korean looking to learn your language just like you’re looking to learn korean. find them and see if you can help one another! speaking to a native speaker while trying to learn a new language is the most effective way to learn that language. don’t be afraid to be awkward and make mistakes. we’re humans. we’re basically at a baby-speaking level! babies make mistakes all the time and we don’t think they’re dumb. they’re just learning.

the order that i went in when i started my study:

i mastered both hangul and pronunciation rules. and yes, it was hard - i often have to go back and reference my notes when i’m studying - but it’s really so worth it. hangul laid the foundation for learning korean in my mind, and without it i’d be a lot more lost than i am now trying to master sentence structures and *shudders* korean grammar.

then i moved on to relevant vocabulary: numbers, months, weeks, days, colors, ect. quick note: korean actually has two number systems, so not only do you have to understand both, but each number system is used specifically, so you need to memorized when which number system is used when.

it was after i started learning vocabulary that i started focusing more on phrases. things like hello, goodbye, thank you, i’m sorry, ect. this is just a personal note: once my trip to south korea was more confirmed, i started memorizing phrases that would be helpful to tourists. things like help please, do you speak english?, where is this?, i speak korean a little, ect. one big thing to keep in mind when you start venturing into korean phrases is this: in korean, there is formal language and informal language! most kpopies know this but i just really want to stress it. i’m so nervous about my dumb white ass going to south korea and accidentally offending the hell out of a native korean. when i first started learning phrases, i literally stuck to just formal phrases. now that i’ve been studying longer, i’ve incorporated more informal phrases into my vocabulary.

after learning hangul, some vocabulary, and some phrases to build my confidence, i hesitantly moved on to verbs. i say hesitantly because once you master a few verbs, the next logical step is… making sentences?

this is the step i’m at now and it’s a struggle for me! it may not be the same for everyone, but i find korean grammar very challenging, and i currently have no tips to offer in reference to learning it because i’m in the middle of struggling through it myself.

so those are all the tips i have! if anyone else has more, please comment them. learning korean is something i take very seriously as it’s quite important to me, so i’d love additional tips about learning korean, korean culture, and self-study help!

#answers #anon #travel tips #korean tips

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quokkalatte · 5 years

Text

Mixtape pt. 4 [M.YG]

Part 4

Category: One Shot series

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Female!Reader

Summary: Living as an aspiring rap artist in Seoul, all you want to do is work on your music and try to get your name out there. Of course when you have someone as annoying and spiteful as Min Yoongi makes that extremely difficult. Until he decides to help you out.

Warnings: smut, language, some Namjoon action (which ofc is a warning cause oof), angry Yoongi, alcohol consumption, perhaps some angst but not really

Warnings for this chapter: Honestly none except slight mentions of sex

Author's Note:so sorry it took so long to get his out thank you for being patient ♡ this chapter is short. Like really short but I'll try to make the next one longer ~ Autumn

Tags; @notsolovelykarsyn @psychoticshawtyy

Cannot tag: @deesixx2801

[Message me to be added to the tag list so you can be notified for new updates]

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

It was like clockwork, waking up again and feeling angry and bitter at myself. Making myself something to drink and brooding and contemplating telling Yoongi not to come, tell him I'm sick. Any excuse not to see him again.

I sat on the couch, staring at Yoongi's contact, chewing my lip. I pressed his contact and texted him.

Me: don't come today, I've come down with something

Jerk: OK

I sighed, putting my phone down, going to take a long shower and try and get over the pounding in my skull, drinking was never a good idea. I undressed, stepping into the shower and allowing the steaming water to pour down my body, my eyes closing in content. I lathered myself in soap and wrapped myself in a towel, ruffling my hair with another to dry it faster. A faint knock had me frowning, dropping the towel I was drying my hair with I quickly adjusted the one covering my body, making sure I was appropriately covered, I went to the door, checking the peep hole and nearly yelped in shock.

Yoongi stood outside the door, container in hand and two drinks in another. His blonde hair was tousled and he was peering down the hall at something, scratching at his neck for a moment, pushing the grey goodie he wore for better access. I let out a short gasp. I told him I was sick! What was he still doing here? I backed away, from the door, eyeing it like it was deadly or toxic.

"Open the door Y/n I know you aren't still asleep, you texted me 30 minutes ago" Yoongi's aggregated voice came from the other side of the door. I swallowed and glared

"I told you I was sick Yoongi"

"And? Just let me in please your druggy neighbor keeps peeking at me and it's unnerving" he says, the last part fading into a whisper. I groan, pulling the door open, and Yoongi steps in quickly. He freezes once he sees my attire. Color floods his pale cheeks, and I blush darkly. "Uh, did I interrupt something?"

"N-No I just got done showering. I wasn't expecting you to still come" I mumble, excusing myself to dress, leaving Yoongi in my living room. I quickly pulled on a hoodie and sweatpants. I found him peering around my desk, and I clear my throat, and he turns to me. "Finished?" He asked and I roll my eyes.

"I still don't know why you're here, I told you not to come"

"I was already on my way when I got your text, and it wouldn't be the first time I've been around you when you're ill" he prompts, walking over to my kitchen island and setting the box and drink tray down.

"Have you considered maybe I don't want to see you?"I snap, fed up with him already. Memories of last night kept swimming in a haze, the alcohol making it dim to remember everything, but I understood the jist of watching Yoongi stick his tongue down some girl's throat and going to bed with her.

"Have you worked on a song yet?"

He completely ignored my question, opening the box and the tempting smell of sushi wafted towards me. I folded my arms, and huff

"You didn't answer my question"

"You didn't answer mine" he smirks, plucking a sushi roll and plopping into his mouth. "I brought you some too come eat" he mumbles, his cheeks puffed as he chewed. I growl in frustration and take one. "Well?"

"Yes I've worked on the song" I grumble, remembering the furious drunk scribbling I did last night in anger. Yoongi swallowed, taking a drink from his cup and dusted his hands on his pants.

"Let's see then" he asks, and I walk over to my desk and snatch the papers and handed them to him. He raised his eyebrows at me, before scanning the angry lyrics. I knew what they were, those were the one thing I remember about last night. The lyrics spoke of harsh love, love that wasn't reciprocated and the pain of having to watch him move about and not do anything about it. I suddenly realized the inspiration of the song was reading it, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth formed the words. I grew nervous, wanting to know what was running through his head. He read through them twice before handing them back to me.

"They're very meaningful, full of emotion. I'd tweak the grammar a bit and take out a couple of repitions" he says, but his mouth moved as if he wanted to ask something else. His tone was guarded and he took another sushi roll and chewed it. I nod, returning the paper to the desk. The silence that followed was awkward. Yoongi wanted to ask something, I could see it in his eyes. It did nothing more than agitate my already hostile mood with him. He chewed the sushi in silence, eyeing me as I watched cars come and go out the window above my desk. It got to much.

"Just ask what you want to ask Yoongi" I sigh, turning to look at him. He seemed embarrassed that I had caught him, but as he eyed me, his nervousness quickly snapped and he spoke.

"Is the song about the guy you're with?" He asks, tone cold and judging.

"What guy?" I frown at him, halfly with exasperation

"The Panda Express guy" he said impatiently, like I was an idiot of some sort. My eyes widened and a blush rose on my cheeks.

"I'm not seeing the Panda Express guy Yoongi" I growl.

"Are you sure?" His tone mocking.

"Positive."

"Then what are the looks he gives you every time we go out after a session?"he accuses. I groan, this boy. He acts almost like he's jealous. Which couldn't be true considering the activities he had partaken in merely 12 or so hours ago.

"That's what they are Yoongi. Looks. He kept trying to ask me out but I turned him down. He thinks we have something special after we drunkenly kissed at a friends party over a year ago" I scoff. Yoongi squinted at me, trying to see if I was telling the truth.

"Jimin?" I groan, wanting to strangle him.

"Just a friend"

"You sure?" His tone was sharp "you seemed awful cozy last night"

"Dammit Yoongi I don't like Jimin! I don't like the Panda Express guy! I've never done more than kiss a guy so stop treating me like I'm some common whore" I yell, fists clenching in anger. Yoongi blinked, taken aback my my outburst. He looked guilty for a split second, and he eyed me. I blushed, realizing I had admitted my viginity to a guy who had probably taken many.

"You've never had sex?" He asks after a pause. I turn my eyes to the ground, not meeting his gaze

"No. Never found a guy I liked enough to do things with" I mumble. I didn't like the silence. That all that seemed to be happening were bouts of awkward and tension-filled silence. I just wish he'd speak. Yoongi was always bad with words, except when he was rapping. Then he could spit out words faster than I could comprehend.

"Neither have I" I was caught in my thoughts that I almost missed him saying it. I looked at him, and he looked back. This pissed me off. I balled my fists, walking over to him, and grabbed him by his hoodie. He yelped as I dragged him towards the door. The shock must have allowed me to do so, considering Yoongi was taller than me and more built. I shoved him towards the door.

"Get out" I snap. "I don't want you here again. If all you're going to do is patronize me and slut shame me and tell lies then I don't want you here. Ever" Yoongi sputtered at me

"What are you-"

"No!" I cut him off "you don't get to listen to me announce my intact viginity only for you to reply with you haven't had sex either" I growl, pointing my finger in his face.

"I havent-"

"Liar! You had your tongue down some poor girls throat just last night! I saw you so I dare you to deny it" I hiss. He swallowed cautiously.

"I won't deny it, but I didn't have sex with her" I snort and he glared at me. "it's true. I was going to, but I stopped. I always stop. I can't bring myself to do it" he mumbles, running a hand through his hair. I frown, not fully believing him. He always had girls at parties, every single time. He'd take a girl upstairs, and now he's trying to say he's never slept with them? I was doubtful.

"Why do you stop? They're pretty and eager" I ask

"Because I don't like them. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't care about. It needs to mean something." He says. I study him before replying. He seemed honest and genuine, I didn't see a trace of a lie on his features. My next question I knew would anger him, it was a touchy subject, but I couldn't deny my jealousy that wiggled it's way into my head.

"The girl in the song you wrote for, is she special?" I ask. Yoongi's gaze was intense, and I had to will myself not to look away. I stared into his brown eyes as he spoke.

"More than she could possibly know" he says, his voice low and calm. The air sparked with a new kind of tension, created from his words and gaze. It sent pickles of emotion up my spine and caused a round of goose bumps to grace my arms. The jealousy egged me on, I wanted to know more about this girl that apparently plagued his thoughts enough to have a song written for her. Did she know about the crush Yoongi was harboring so deeply for her? Maybe not, or they'd be together already.

I didn't realize how close Yoongi was to me. His face hovered inches away from mine. I could feel the exhaled breath fan across my face and the heat his skin put off warm the air between us. It chilled me, him being so close and my cheeks spread with warmth as I realized he hadn't broken eye contact. He licked his lips, and leaned forward just slightly, his breath setting me aflame.

The loud sound of a phone ringing caused us to jump. Yoongi stumbled back into the door and I turned to find the offending noise. Yoongi phone was vibrating and ringing nest to the food and drinks. I tried to still my rapid hear beating as Yoongi quickly walked over to it, picking it up and answering it.

"Hello?" His voice was higher pitched and his cheeks were flushed pink. Incomprehensible words came from the other side. Yoongi hummed "okay I'm in my way. Try to get him not to move it" he says and hangs up. He glanced at me "I need to go"

"What happened?" I ask, instantly worried. He wrinkled his nose

"Namjoon's roommate, Seokjin, got his hand caught in the sink. Reached down to grab something and it got stuck. I need to go help get it out while Namjoon panics unnecessarily" he says. I open my mouth to respond, to tell him I wanted to come, but he was already out the door with a quick slam and a rushing sound of clothing, leaving me alone and confused.

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