I'm very weary of narratives and dynamics that paint people of color as like bullies, or intolerant/bigoted, or anything of the sort against white characters cause it's not that we're infallible either within specific communities or as a collective but like...idk like I feel like we're usually in these roles more often than not (its ESP Black women and girls, and Dark skin women and girls even moreso) like, esp when shows tout themselves as progressive cause knowing how Fandoms roll esp in regards to bleeding into actors off screen I just know there are people like going the hell in, because even when they're not bad people at all or just like a fleshed out human beings let them do one thing wrong, or do something fans don't like, people never shut the fuck up about it (look at Meredith and Amelia from Grey's vs Maggie and Bailey, esp in like the second half of the Grey's run) meanwhile white characters can never do anything wrong ever even when they're very much in the wrong which hmmm does that not also sound like real life?

... why he sit like this

If you wish to keep this pricate feel free, but I saw your tags on the "why are you single?" post and I completely understand your sentiment. I am not one to label other people so feel free to ignore this part but it fits well with the aromantic identity. I discovered it and it fits pretty dang well for me. I found out that people do have a Drive™️ to be romantic and have romantic intimacy that allows them to just date any rando without knowing them first. I don't understand it and think it's... idk, I don't really have a word for it but I personally think getting to know someone as a friend first and then if the romantic feels happen then they happen. I don't typically feel fulfilled with romance with my partner, but I do like cuddles XD it's just a thing that happens and I can engage with if I choose.

I have a bit of anxiety about sending this so I really apologize if I overstepped.

[ID: An mspaint drawing of a person pointing at themself with a startled expression and a speech bubble next to them with the aromantic flag followed by "?!" as if they spoke the flag as a word in surprise. end ID]

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*shidding an entire pantaloon sfx*

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

I have so many mixed overwhelming emotions about FF7 Rebirth that idk how to even process it all.

i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.

Social anxiety is finding someone you feel comfortable talking about subjects to, but you're never really sure when they are actually wanting to discuss basic FNAF lore or just think you're being annoying again

I’m fascinated about the oc stuff you mentioned! I only recently (within the last year) started creating oc’s so I’ve not really thought about creating images of them. I pretty much just save stock photos and photos of celebrities that resemble what I’m imagining, but that can be a pain. I’d love to hear more tips (as well as hearing about some of your oc’s if you’d like to share!)

A beloved mutual, hello!!

It's cool to hear that you're getting into oc stuff, making up little guys is so much fun! You'll have to tell me about yours sometime! I gotta admit though, saving stock and celebrity photos sounds like a hassle :/ I can't imagine what you'd do for a non-human oc…

If you're interested, I have a ton of picrew links I can share (and obviously I can give you ones with more specific aesthetics if you have something in mind, versus just dumping a truckload of random links on you).

I also really like using Heroforge (D&D Minifugre website) to make ocs (D&D related or not). They update pretty regularly so there's always better options (especially for non-human ocs) and colors for more specific customizations. It's especially cool because if you decide you really like it, you can buy your oc as a minifigure (but you can still use the site/save your oc even without buying anything)! I love free websites :3

Lately, I've been focusing on my batch of Minecraft ocs. I was supposed to join a big rp server, but that fell apart so now I'm just 'writing' it all myself. It's been really fun, and I like being able to build an intricate story and characters from a pre-set template that comes with making ocs within a pre-existing world/ruleset (It's just much easier on my busy brain for when I'm not working on my actual original writing or whatever XP). But because of this, I've also been making full Minecraft skins for those ocs. It's pretty much just pixel art, and I am nowhere near the levels of some of the proffesional skin-makers out there, but I've made some pretty cool stuff if I do say so myself!

TL;DR I am not good at art, but my imagination is very hyperactive, so having some of these online resources has helped a ton in just getting something out into the world. I am more than happy to share site links and answer any questions you have about navigating them if you wanna dm me! I'd also loove to talk about all my ocs more, but I know that can be a lot for a tumblr ask…especially if tumblr keeps eating them >:(

Thanks for messaging me, hope this helped some!

(Also, sorry for the weird formatting of this post tumblr is being dumb and I can't fix it for some reason...)

it's nice that we're getting anything i guess, but, i'm gonna be what may come off as a little petty and whiny here; it'd be cool if either iteration of the gen 9 anime so far was actually about gen 9's characters instead of using them as cameos to promote original stories we have no investment in yet

it's like, i dunno, like the bait and switch with sonic appearing in wreck it ralph ads, except if wreck it ralph existing meant there would never be a sonic movie, and if you were invested in those characters and recognized they weren't generic platformer mascots, sucks for you, nobody cares

maybe they're just giving the DLC space to do its thing with them first (if they do anything at all...) but idk, i was cautiously optimistic about nemona in horizons, only for her to be a character of the day that the episode wasn't about, and pretty excited by "gen 9 prequel anime" only to find out it's going to be like, four short stories about OCs who have quick brushes with them. these are like the lacroix hint of what an anime about the game could've been like and you're left to imagine the rest yourself

i shouldn't be that surprised if the gen 8 anime reduced hero of galar hop to a character of the day with a level 5 wooloo in order to let the galaxy revolve around ash battling his brother because epic charizards, but man. what if it wasn't like that that now that ash is gone.

we haven't seen penny and team star at all because they're the hardest to talk about without bringing up the trauma of school bullying and the fear of being yourself at school when you're way too young to be dealing with all that drama responsibly. she's still learning to love and forgive herself and feel wanted.

arven's story is about, like, being a latchkey kid to a self-absorbed parent, being unsure how to feel about repairing the relationship or how seriously to take them saying they love him, and struggling to make friends due to misdirected resentment toward people he's jealous of for having apparently normal families and the stubborn self-reliance he was forced into. he's still trying to process things, find himself, and let people in.

nemona is supposed to have been a directionless lonely and depressed kid who hated being called gifted when everything was hard for her, until she met the player character and gained a peer who understood and appreciated she was a little different and she didn't have to mask her true self to have friends anymore. she's happy for now, but may still be under a little too much pressure to be perfect at the expense of her own personality, and probably won't deal well with being abandoned.

as much as they resonate with adults and are a little darker than usual pokemon fare, they're also smaller scale and realer. they are all stories that are explicitly about and meant to be relatable to kids going to school! y'know, your audience! you don't need to paint over them with 3-4 new characters and new stories every time like there was nothing there, or something shameful you need to sanitize and cover up! you can just use the game the way it is!

this got a little more heated than i intended, i just feel a little ridiculous waiting anxiously for loose scraps of a sign that this story isn't over and in the trash already and nemona's life-changing attachment to the player character isn't going to go totally ignored, as we are bombarded with what is supposed to be followup material that almost all seems eager to talk about literally anything else like they think the main story was a mistake they need to run away from

now, i'm not one to complain about original stories being told, but this was already a story that had room to grow. imagine a world where the gen 9 anime was actually about nemona, arven, penny, and the friend who brought them together. or what their lives were like before that friend came along. every episode. that would get me to watch the anime again and whatever movie came out for it. ask yourself why we don't have that, or even the traditional, like, 1-2 characters tagging along with the MCs per region thing that would leave us knowing them better than we know some irl friends

how was starting over with 100% original characters and new lore that might conflict hard with the upcoming DLC the safer bet? why is a 44 minute miniseries specifically for fans of the game making up OCs for them to get invested in and scrambling to tell their stories as quickly as possible before throwing them in the trash instead of being about the damn game?

sigh. i shouldn't get invested in a series that's about selling monster plushies just because it had one story that stuck with me

rewatching episode 46 and it just occurred to me (for very tangential reasons) that the venn diagram of btvs tillow shippers and cr imodna shippers may be very close to a circle,,, thinking about what laudna said about the possibility of ludinus feebleminding imogen and thinking about tara at the end of season 5... also witch x witch is so real to me

is it weird that i purposely turn on different alarms before i wake up JUST SO i can feel the satisfaction of being able to stay in bed for a little longer?

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

throwing myself at the foot of a therapist's chair saying Please pretty please explain to me what these symptoms are caused by

Last post wip I'm posting but I'm genuinely proud of how this turned out

i have no idea what happened or how it happened, but i can finally play bar chords!!!!!

i am so fucking excited. i know it's nothing special but this is a big deal for me because my fingers are short and that shit is painful, but i can actually sound the chords!! and i can switch to them with relative ease, too!

i'm going to be an absolute fucking menace now that half of the songs i want to play are actually playable for me, ha. hahahahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHA.

Officially over half through 100%'ing Volfoss :)