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josephslittledeputy · 3 months

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WIP... Oh shit, its actually Wednesday??

Tagged by @wrathfulrook @clicheantagonist @marivenah @cassietrn @the-silver-chronicles @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat and I thiiiiink that's it... sorry if you've tagged me & you're not on here, its been a hot minute since I've posted a wip wednesday & my memory is basically Swiss cheese

Tagging anyone who wants to self indulgently share a WIP! Feel free to tag me, I love to read new stuff :)

**Also terribly sorry in advance cause this turned out to be a bit longer than I thought it would be**

WIP 1: OG Verse - fun times with Celeste & Gabriel

He has to resist the urge to throttle her, lest he ruin the inside of his house filled with years of carefully handpicked items, ones he held a certain fondness for. "You ruined my life, Celeste. Or do you not recall?” "Your life?" She tilts her head in mock curiosity. "What life? The one where you were sent anywhere they told you to go, like some mongrel with a barely slackened leash?" “Excuse me?" “We can pretend otherwise. Keep up the illusion that your life was marvelous, picture perfect even. But we both know the truth, don't we?" She takes a step closer. “You were nothing but the High Council’s defanged pup. Cluelessly doing their bidding before I freed you. If anything, you should be thanking me." "Thanking you?" He clenches and unclenches his fist in an attempt to suppress his anger. "Hate me if you must, fight me even, but do it later. Right now we must get out of here. If they do not know where I am yet, they soon will. What do you think will happen once they realize one of their precious dhamphirs has been under their nose this whole time?"

Celeste truly is the nicest individual you'll ever meet :))

Including this little snippet from Gabriel's pov as well cause idk, I just really like it

Unbidden worry strikes him. He listens, waits, and when his ears pick up the sound of soft, even breathing he lets out a breath of his own. Celeste and the baby were still there, unharmed, perhaps even sleeping. It brings an odd sense of comfort, reminiscent of times long forgotten, times he didn’t want to remember. If he did, he’d have to remember what brought them to a halt in the first place and he had a job to do. Grief and old wounds had no place here, at least not at the moment. Kicking his boots off, he treks into the bathroom and gently closes the door behind him. It’s a simple design: Shower to his left, toilet to his right, and a sink with a mirror above it directly across from the door. Leaning against the sink, he ruffles his short, black hair that's shaved on the sides and traces his fingers over an old, faded scar. It runs down almost the whole length of his face, going over his left eye and stopping just shy of the corner of his mouth. Overlapping it is another, only this one goes across his face horizontally, over the bridge of his nose and from cheek to cheek. The only thing that remains of the old Gabriel are his blue eyes, once full of life and mischief, now faded and dull. Turning away from his visage, he heads toward the shower and turns it on, stripping down while he waits for the water to heat up. He doesn’t need a mirror to see the multitude of scars and tattoos that adorn his body. Aching for another drink—if only to dull his senses and lingering memories once more—he curbs the yearning and steps beneath the water.

WIP 2: They Watch From The Pews

Willa squirms, trying to dodge cold fingers that reach out to trace over the letters, caressing them with a sadistic fascination that makes her stomach curdle in disgust. Disgust quickly transforms into a desperation to get away once he finally reveals the knife kept hidden behind his back. “Usually I’d peel the sin off but… I think this will suit you much better, don't you?" Pressing the tip of his blade into her skin, he teasingly drags it across her skin. "Tell me, Deputy, how did you feel when you got the news of Samuel's death?" "Chipper." She spitefully answers with a sneer. John heaves a dramatic sigh and presses the blade down harder, prompting tiny beads of blood to bubble up as he traces over the letters of her tattoo. "You can make this easier for yourself, you know." "I've heard that before. Got me a bullet to the leg." "Because you ran. My men only acted accordingly." "Fuck you and your men, pussy." "My, what a mouth on you." He tuts and makes a deeper cut. Her teeth sink into the leather in her mouth, denying him the satisfaction of hearing her make a noise. Without pause, he moves onto the second letter, brows scrunched up in concentration as he goes over the lines again and again. It isn’t until he’s on the last letter that she finally breaks with a muffled groan. He stops, lifting his eyes from his work. “Comfortable?”

John & Willa are bonding so well. Truly, I think they're starting to get along!

#**wips subject to change**#nah i thought it was tuesday today like... huh #anyway guess what guys i actually have stuff for wip wednesday! granted its not that great but ehh we tryin & thats all that counts #i love when docs will put a red underline under my words like... hunni if that aint a word it is now!!#ohhhh gabriel may be taking celestes shit now but just wait for it... hes a man who suppresses his anger until it builds and blows <3 #i need gabriel like a dog needs a bone ya feel? (shh dont look at me...)#Cel & Gabriel's past history is interesting and a bit convoluted (yes; they fucked)#also i love writing willa bc im like 'how many times can i make her swear? yes!' she just doesnt care anymore #shes feral & angry & shes finally indulging in it #also willas overreacting it was a bullet GRAZE not a bullet WOUND**#meanwhile johns like 'hehe knife time while i interrogate you bestie! <3'#wanted to include some stuff from Sparrows fic too but ah well. maybe next time #ok tag spam done SORRY #oc: celeste night #oc: gabriel walker #oc: willa rook

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yibo-wang · 1 year

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Summary of what happened at the Hidden Blade Guangzhou RoadShow.

I have been away from my phone all day today so I only found out about what happened a few hours ago. I don't like bringing weibo/twitter drama to tumblr but everything that's been happening made me really angry.

It was expected that the antis would definitely try and ruin it as much as could cause they've done that every single time something important happened in yibo's career. But to think they would sink as low and involve big directors and actors for their petty and selfish acts is a new low even for them.

While yesterday was Hidden Blades first release in cinemas, it did exceedingly well for a film that's undoubtedly different from the usual spring festival movie genres. The GP and fans both had positive reviews about the movie and Yibo's acting.

As far as I know the hateful words and reviews against Yibo have been increasing. Antis who weren't even in China were sending reviews that they hated the movie etc when the movie hasn't even been released anywhere else? Give me a break. (Below antis leaving reviews but their location is from out of China)

They're trying to suppress the positive response from the public on weibo, saying hurtful things towards the movie, director and actors. It's really disgusting.

You see Cheng Er and the rest of the cast and crew and anyone Yibo has worked with before know how sincere and dedicated he is to his work. For Hidden Blade especially they've praised his acting, his professional behaviour and it's not just one person it's the director, it's Tony Leung himself, it's Wang Chuajun, Da Peng and so many others.

It's actually breaking my heart when I saw the videos from today because why do they forget he's also a human being? That's he's only 25 years old?

Idk what image everyone has of Yibo in their mind but to me he's really very innocent at heart. Never in my years of watching him have I seen him have malice or hatred against anyone.

At the Roadshow today, despite everything that was happening he was really very thankful towards everyone who came, especially to the audience who came to watch the movie more than once because they loved watching it the first time and enjoyed the details.

One encounter today that really moved me was between him and a fan who was sharing her experience of watching the movie.

Translation: I would like to add one more thing. I was asked to convey this message from our group. Though we are Yibo's fans, after watching Hidden Blade, we turned from his fans to his movie fans. Thank you for being a good actor. We wish hidden blade success.

Yibo was really holding back tears 🥺

Cheng Er talked about how he really appreciates the sincerity the audience who watched the movie showed towards the film and how much he appreciates Yibo as an actor.

You see this is probably the first time Cheng Er had to experience such disturbing behaviour towards his film. Yes he's a grown man with years of experience with him but this is not negative reviews because people didn't like the film. This is because of their hatred for Yibo. And Cheng Er knows all of this cause repeatedly he has spoken or either posted against whatever lies the antis have spewed against the film and Yibo.

Cheng er: As all of you are audiences who really watched Hidden Blade, I believe our efforts including yibo’s will live up to your expectations. He has worked really hard —his image & expression in his eyes. I'm very thankful to such an excellent actor. I only dare to say this because all of you have watched the movie. I don’t dare to praise him recently because… [Audience asking that he should praise Yibo more] so I hope people who really watched the movie can sincerely spread the true situation and quality of our movie (link to video)

Once again despite everything, Yibo isn't forcing anyone to like him. All he asks is to be sincere in their remarks about it cause the movie isn't just him. These blackened tags and reviews affect all the people who have worked day and night for Hidden Blade to come to life. He accepts the criticism if it's genuinely because of his acting but not if it's just because their hatred for him.

Yibo: Like what the director and that audience said, a movie can create a lot of thoughts but you still need to continue with your life. For Hidden Blade, I hope we can exchange sincerity with sincerity. We made this movie with our heart, so we sincerely hope that people will like the movie. I also hope that audiences can sincerely appreciate the movie. Of course, you can also not like like the movie after watching it, there’s no problem. [Fans: we like it!] Exchange sincerity with sincerity. Thank you.

I do want to say that despite the antis efforts for the smear campaign, the passerby comments and almost all of the general public had a good experience while watching the movie and relayed good reviews. (Some of them down below + Link to one of the film critics review)

The thing is I'm really happy with how the GP is talking about HB. Infact Yibo was very happy during the other times in the roadshow. He kept smiling, talked so animatedly and with enthusiasm it was delightful to see him that way. But what bothered me most about the whole thing is that this situation was big enough for Yibo (who doesn't let useless remarks affect him) and Cheng Er to be bothered by it.

#im off to bed now i really had to speak about this otherwise i wouldn't be able to sleep properly #wanb yibo #hidden blade #hoping antis never sleep peacefully at night

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f1-birb · 3 months

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um hi. hello. so i have a problem. yk how tumblr (mobile at least) has those, “check out these tags”? mine are like, things that i do not. um. uh. enjoy.

regardless. i have tried everything i know to try and get these damn tags to not be there. deleted my app, cleared the cache, i’ve gone and liked a ridiculous amount of f1 stuff. and it’s still there. do you know how i can hide that section, or how i can get the things there to change? support told me to install a browser extension to block tags (tried that using tumblr’s one, and the problem is that for every one i add, there comes another one)

i just. it makes me feel like i failed, and that i’m so icky and gross (cause it’s a. um. thing. that uh. hm. idk. a kink thing but it’s also a fetish thing? i worked really hard to avoid it and stay away, and a few weeks ago i broke it and now i can’t stop. now i pay the price. (it’s nothing illegal fyi). but i just. :(

we can dm, if that’s easier, but i’m so embarrased of what it’s about that’s why i’m here on anon.

no worries anon, I totally get it, and if you did want to DM you wouldn't have to give me details

I basically only use mobile and I am a big user of filtering tags and also have limited dashboard preference settings and life is good, my dash is curated (there is a slight issue at the moment that posts with filtered tags still show up in tags but they're still hidden)

here's some screenshots of how to find the settings and how I have mine set, and maybe try using filtered tags it's a blessing (normally, oh and you might have to add different variations of the same to catch everything)

#hope that helps?#birb speaks

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delightfuldevin · 11 months

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It sucks how much people genuinely think that supporting something in a fictional context is the same as supporting that thing in real life :((

Like, do you people really truly believe that fictional characters are in any way equivalent to real life people? Do you understand how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?

“But they’re minors/siblings/victims/etc!” NO THEY’RE NOT. They are a figment of someone’s imagination that can have literally any traits you want them to cause fiction is something made to be manipulated for our viewing pleasure. That’s why AUs are a thing. That’s why headcanons are a thing. Cause fiction is meant to be manipulated for you to enjoy! You can’t have headcanons for a real life person. Because real people are not the same as fictional people. At least, I hope you don’t treat real people like they are fictional characters.

“But why would you want to ship [insert thing here]? It’s gross!” Okay, and? It isn’t hurting any actual real person, and it could even be helping someone who is using this to cope with their own trauma! And no, your personal discomfort is not a reason to completely delete content cause you can easily just block the tag/the creator and never see it. It is your responsibility to curate your own experience and if you are incapable of doing that, it is your responsibility to stay out of fandom spaces until you are mature enough to do so. It is not the responsibility of everyone else in the world to cater to your specific needs. You shouldn’t expect every single person to have the exact same needs as you and the exact same ways of coping with said needs.

“But groomers will use this thing to manipulate vulnerable people!” Indeed, that does happen. But it is not the fault of the person who made the content. It is always, and I mean always, the fault of the groomer themself. By saying “I was groomed by this content” you take away the responsibility of the actual groomer who did it. Don’t absolve them of their crime because of what they used for the crime. No matter what, it was always their fault and the responsibility of that is on their shoulders. Even if that content didn’t exist, they would’ve found some other way to groom you because that is simply who they chose to be and that is the unfortunate and sad truth.

It is completely okay to be uncomfortable with something! Grossed out even! Or something can be literally triggering for you. That is okay! And if someone doesn’t tag their content properly and it gets to you, you have every right to be mad about that! But that does not mean the person who made the content needs to delete what they made. You just have to block them so that you’ll never see their content again. You don’t even have to engage with them. That’s the beauty of the internet! We’re all strangers and once someone is blocked, it’s as if they never even existed! You’ll never meet them irl or be forced to interact with them. They are dead to you.

Also side note, but helpful information! When you block someone on Tumblr, their posts can still end up on your dash if someone else reblogs from them. Idk if Tumblr has changed this in the few years I’ve been gone, but a way around that is to add their blog name to your filtered content! That way, even if someone else reblogs from them, it’ll still be hidden from you :D

#i dont expect the target audience of this post to actually read it so its more just a vent for me #i just cant believe this is something that is so hard to grasp for some people #im not using any main tags for this because i reeeeeally want to stay out of discourse #i just really needed to say this #i dont even like most problematic ships #they are not appealing to me and some of them are even downright uncomfortable to me #but do i care if anyone else ships them? no i dont #because i have the power to simply not engage with the content and curate my own internet experiences #honestly the worst ship for me isnt even a problematic one but it makes me feel faaar worse than any problematic ship ever could #and yes i have the tag for it blocked #if i see a post that says it has my filtered content in it i simply scroll passed it #im also not a fan of dark/angsty topics even in ships i do like #so once again i avoid it like the plague #i dont care if other people enjoy that stuff. good for them! i hope theyre having fun/gen #i will simply stay in my lane and make sure i never have to see that stuff #king sad sack #<- thats my vent tag lol

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flowering-thought · 4 months

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I have a pretty new Yandere blog, how do you get people to interact with and request and enjoy your oc’s?

Hmm I don't think I'm the best person to ask tbh! With me I just find that trying to keep details about OCs consistent and coming up with ideas that personally interest me is better than anything.

If you only write OCs for everyone else you'll burn out and feel detached from them. When I look at my OC's I think "oh my lil skrunkly guy who I adore and love but also like to make suffer a lil and have details about their backstory hidden in the crevices of my brain."

As for interactions I feel like when tumblr finally added the voting function it made a nice ability to interact with the people who follow your stuff nicely and give options for ideas you may or may not have. And making sure people know that they can request stuff like putting a little section in your blog description or maybe in a pinned post saying what's okay to request or what's not or if your requests are open or not?

But also tags!! Making all sorts of relevant tags and tagging your work is also super good to attract the right people to your posts!! It can be very repetitive but sharing your work with people with tags is super helpful. It also helps if you need to look for something specific on your blog too! Like if you wrote a certain OC that had a certain like gender or maybe they have a certain occupation you listed down in the tags to help if you need to look for it later. Or making your own personal tags to sort through them helps too-

I also think organizing a post with your OCs with the posts you've made about them helps people too! Cause when they read one post about your OC they'll think "Oh, I quite like this character does this person have a masterlist or post where other things about their OC is?" And go to check your profile. It does get kinda hard to keep up with though cause it can be easy to forget!

OC making is fun though! Sometimes discussing ideas with friends or maybe trying to make them relatable or just having some extra details is good I think? Idk it's how I think about it so I can't really be sure if all my advice is really that good??

I'm really lucky to have people interact with my work even though I don't post as often as I like so I'm very grateful about it. Also super grateful that people like my OCs when they do!

Also sometimes posting your own ideas you have about OCs is cool too!! Like if you have a certain detail about them that might not be known or making a scenario about them and just posting it might make others want to see more about them and request!

Sorry if this isn't too helpful or if I rambled a bit too long, but I hope maybe a little of this helped? Have a good day or night!!! And good luck with the blog! Writing OCs is pretty fun, I hope I come across one of yours soon!

#.hana_talks_txt_♡#really unsure if this is helpful but i saw it in my asks just today and didnt wanna leave it alone #writing is fun and tricky #but sharing it with others is super nerve-wracking

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throwing-roses-into-the-abyss · 9 months

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hi this is rslashknits!! I misread your tags and now see you partially frogged already. sorry about suggesting that again!!

you mentioned a knitting cafe--imo this is what knitting community is for. if you know a trusted expert knitter who you don't mind handing your sweater to I might ask them if they think they can partial frog and fix and demonstrate for you. if your yarn is messed up from your attempted fix I think you can tie in some fresh yarn to replace your old ladders (with knots hidden inside?) but that's a lil scary haha, so I'd defer to an expert on it.

I say this because when I know I messed up and it isn't too many rows down I bring the piece to my mom, lol. and I always learn a lot like that!

if you like my little "I totally did that on purpose fix" where you cover it up and then copy the design across the sweater--if you have a computer program that can do it, I would try and edit the photo first to plan the placement and frequency of the lines and make sure I like it. especially cuz you definitely didn't plan something like that when you started and it's gonna be different visually from your original plan of that sweater. it will also help you decide if you hate the look right off the bat so you don't waste time.

honestly if it were me though I might just wear the mistake out n proud.

again good luck!!

ah no worries! I tend to put a lot of information in my tags but I know not everyone actually reads those, especially if the post gets shared around.

For a full explanation of what happened yesterday, just for context and because, idk, I want to share? :

so my first skein finally ran out and I was trying to join the second one, and I thought I'd knit both the old and the new strand together for a bit to like, strengthen it or something idk. But I accidentally used the wrong strand for a bit, so I dropped that one, picked up the other one, and went along, just to then notice that obviously there's a bit of a floater happening. Then I noticed the float getting looser, so I started pulling it to try and figure out where it was loosening from, but that snapped the yarn. Then I lowkey panicked because I was worried about it not being secure enough and my project falling apart on me so I tried to frog the two rows I'd knit with the new skein and very slowly and carefully put the needle back on, but while doing that I dropped some stitches and created some new ones and also put a lot of it back on the needle the wrong way. And also the next row also partially frogged but I just kind of. Added it to the current row. Then I knit the next row, which was a hassle because I put so much back on wrong. By the end of the row I did figure out how to fix that but, well. That was by the end of the row. And then of course also there were the massive tension issues and gaps where I dropped stitches and I cried.

(in my defence, my brain is already always kinda like this but it's been way worse the past month, I'm definitely not fully "here" and I was already waiting for a big mistake to happen, things were going too smoothly)

Someone else (@pixelhilma) suggested to kind of pull at the stitches to create new tension and then tying the resulting yarn loop into a knot which I might also try? Knitting cafe isn't until friday unfortunately, though I might drop by the yarn store where it's held to ask for advice.

I think tbh I'm more worried about having made a super weird mistake that will cause my project to fall apart at some point. like aesthetically it sucks but I can just wear a blazer over it or hide it with some embroidery like you suggested in your post, but idk if I accidentally made it unstable.

You're so lucky you can just ask your mom! I'm highkey jealous lmao.

#adventures in knitting #knitting

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metagalacticx · 1 year

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tagged by: @slice-of-magenta 🫶✨

Rules: Recommend us 3 of YOUR fics: 1 that is “most popular” and 2 that are “hidden gems!” Then tag some folks.

ah i always end up not doing these when they require me to acknowledge stuff i’ve done but idk maybe this one time won’t hurt ;a;

most popular by kudos and comments

unearth the sun - (thiam, ‘how do i passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower’) this is the first fic i ever posted and it was mostly written to get me through winter and one of my worst episodes to date. while i’m scared of this fic because it means a lot to me (and also because some people like it and i have serious issues with attention), it’s still incredibly enjoyable to work on!

hidden gems

what you’re living for - (thiam) i really like this fic because of the non-linear structure which was very fun to write and also to re-read. beacon hills as a sentient entity is one of my absolute favourite things to think about and i finally incorporated it into something. there’s a kind of quiet yet gnawing desperation that i think i managed to weave into this one that i’m kind of proud of.

37 Doses (melissa and scott) - this one was very hard to write and i try my best not to think about it ever haha but! i’m actually quite proud of it. one of my favourite things about it is the hints of self-deprecation i believe melissa endures. and also i’m just forever obsessed with the nurse’s son suffering from chronic asthma in a town where nobody dies of natural causes anymore because they’re either murdered or transformed. and scott’s asthma is no more, but then it comes back and suddenly she has to worry— not about scott dying from the innumerable forces trying to end his life but— about scott breathing right. about him having access to medicine when they’re struggling financially. anyway, yeah. i like the fic sjdhdh

tagging: @waterloou @ksbbb @allyjostan @attempted--eloquence (as always, no pressure, feel free to ignore!)

#thank you for the tag!#i’m shaking crying throwing up at the thought of talking about any of these but y’know what i won’t die #it is fine.#tag game

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hazelcephalopod · 10 months

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TGH Ch 30: Daes Dae’mar

The Cairhienin sun symbol.

Hello! I’m back. So I did loose the rest of this chapters tbh. Now I’m planning on being a little less, uh, thorough for this resurrection of my read thru -lol we will see how that goes.

disclaimer: there will be spoilers, I will tag them but this is a book from 30 years ago that I am desperately trying to finish. I am very ADHD and this helps me do that. Also, it’s my first read thru but I am somewhat familiar with the story and what is going to happen, probably not enough to not be surprised tho. Happy reading!

All WOT spoilers.

Sum. … last I remember Rand was running from some Trollocs and causing many problems in the Fireworks Guild trying not to be caught. Lanfear -my beloathed- was there. Now he’s trying to rescue Hunin and the horn from the fire in his Inn. Will Lanfear appear again?! Will they safely escape their burning inn?! Find out, or remember by reading all my quips -well half of them- for this chapter of The Great Hunt!

Oh no the Inn is one fire

Loial really is well named.

Oh if only there was a way for someone to help put this fire out. If only there was some means, perhaps some magical ability to control the fire and the air and clear out the smoke and flame. Hmmm

“But he’d risk the taint” let’s be honest there’s very little hope for him there.

Poor Moiriane really was/is trying to help. I may not agree -or outright despise- some of her methods but she’s truly is trying to help best she can, both the world and Rand himself. She coulda just taken that banner and hidden it but has allowed him to choose what to do with it.

Give him back his fucking clothes though! I don’t care if they suck! Or that the new ones are better -it’s been years(?) and yes I’m still mad about it! (Also yes it’s a me problem!)

The flute!

Is a Reader equivalent to a Wisdom? Idk and neither does Rand! (I appreciate that as a writer)

Wtf?! Mat and Perrin and Ingtar! Yay! Bros back together again! And Ingtar, an adult!

Well Rand has really had it, hope Hurin will be ok

Lanfear did not appear and I am not sad about it. Really it’s a shame that I do not like her because I can recognize her as peak girlfail trying to girlboss poorly, but it’s like, ma’am plz you are so cringe and he is like 17. I think I need to just view her under vampire rules -still a cringe girlfail but perhaps tolerable. Find out and… idk, I check the tags? Truly no reliable way to find anything on this hellsite.

This chapter was great fun. Suffering, reunions, decisions! What else could one ask for?

PS: I think I may just post a chapter at a time. We will see how that goes. I may post more than once a day depending on how fast I can read, write, and edit these. Really the editing is the hardest and longest part. Tho I think I may just not try as hard to edit them this time around to speed things up and make it more fun -I will try to make it coherent-ish?

#Series of many thoughts on twot #<- block/filter to stop seeing this/these #the great hunt #tgh #wot book spoilers #tgh spoilers #wheel of time #the book #wot #twot book spoilers

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tennessoui · 1 year

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Tag Game to Better Know You

Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Tagged by @lilredghost, thank you :D

What book are you currently reading? oof honestly, i'm not reading anything right now :( i'm very busy with silly lil fanfic writing instead which is probably the definition of brainrot, but it is time consuming

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? i've...only seen one movie in theaters since COVID-19, and that was actually last month when i went to go see the second black panther. it was good but like. really long. 2 hours and 45 minutes is too long for any movie i said what i said

What do you usually wear? hm i have one pair of jeans i love and wear a lot! and one pair of office pants i also like. and then a lot of shirts. and some cute dresses, but that's more of a summer thing

How tall are you? 5’6”? 5'7"? I haven't been to the doctor since 2016 and I have not measured myself independently.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Aquarius :> and my birthday is Mozart's birthday! that's the only one I know! I can't even play piano :D

Do you go by your name or a nickname? Kit is my nickname! but i do go by it in real life, though most people think i say Kim and i usually do not correct them

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? i don't think im done growing up (maybe if i went to the doctor, they would tell me differently idk)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? That one tumblr post: "not in a relationship, not aromantic, but a secret third thing. unwanted ;) "

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? im pretty good at writing but im pretty bad at using commas correctly

Dogs or cats? dogs :>

If you draw/write or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/line/etc from something you created this year? i do write!! but actually one of my favorite things i've made this year is a painting i did for a friend as a goodbye present. a little 5x7 canvas of a sunrise over some cherry blossoms

(and also i can't think of a quote i've written this year and i'm too lazy to find one)

What’s something you would like to create content for? me, one day lol

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? ack, gotta say star wars. but also gotta say cooked octopus. it's the moment. oh and toast and trader joe's tomato and red pepper soup.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? umm i had a really nice vacation planned with friends i haven't seen for ages, but i had to leave early cause there was a family emergency thing which sorta sucked (for my family mostly)

What’s a hidden talent of yours? oh im really good at cutting a circular object into perfect eighths. or fourths! a weird superpower

Are you religious? my dad told me once that there's got to be something out there that makes the leaves so green in the spring and he calls it Big Ernie. he's a hippie but he might be onto something

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? a new keyboard im this close to snapping at all the times i hit a key once and suddenly have 5 extra letters. >:(

ack i feel like i've seen these around but also i can't remember if i have, so feel free to ignore this tag: @ellie-you-idiot @kdm103020 @demondean-writes @sweet-cynic @kittonafoxgirl @bi-wan @obiwan @mysticmjolnir

#tag games #feel free to a) ignore #b) tag yourself #there were a couple of blogs i wanted to tag that wouldn't come up when i typed them in #im blaming it on the keyboard and alsso tumblr #kit to kit

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bucktommmy · 2 years

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tag game:reveal your blogging style

tagged by the one who trapped in a friendship through dms 💗 @moonlightchicken

different blogs for different interests OR all-in-one blog (effort to keep up with one blog is enough, my source blogs don’t look at me)

default theme OR custom theme

one username till death OR change username according to mood/obsession (once i changed it from goldenligntclara i never looked back but pranpats is definitely staying for a while)

round avatar OR square avatar (don’t have enough patience to make the cute rounds ones)

personal avatar OR fandom related avatar (one of the only social media site that doesn’t expect you to show ur face idk why would you lol)

thematic consistency between header image and avatar OR who gives a fuck (for myself i might care too much and try to match my mobile header with my avatar)

reblog without tags OR reblog with tags (i’ll accept any reblogs but tags are the best treat & i always try to put tags when i reblog)

category tags only OR personal commentary in tags (both. both is good.)

like+reblog OR only reblog

replies allowed on posts OR replies switched off (unless something happens)

askbox open OR askbox closed (always open and love getting asks 💗)

anons allowed OR anons blocked

respond to every mention in replies OR be a hermit (i try to but my brain and awkwardness are always lurking)

a quiet observer and enjoyer OR initiate conversation with an unknown blogger (nads: “I am a dm slider. this is how i trapped kit in our friendship.” and i love you for it cause i will almost never message first unless tags count)

send ask OR send message on chat OR converse with people in replies (all but for different circumstances)

blog from computer/laptop OR blog from phone (usually i scroll and queue things on my phone but will use my laptop to post)

personal posts OR fandom posts only (mostly fandom but sometimes personal)

have a well organised filled queue OR post intermittently and make it everybody else's problem OR post daily like it's a 9 to 5 (a lot goes into my queue but i reblog what i’m tagged in or new content)

likes and following displayed on blog OR likes and following hidden (one of tumblr’s best features, no one needs to see lmao)

sorry if y’all have been tagged but: @loooreleii @casualavocados @talaypuens @prany

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nathank77 · 16 days

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4/21/24

12:44 a.m

Okay so I looked into fb privacy setting and I don't think fb is fucking with me. You can directly control posts youre tagged in being hidden from your profile/being public. You can view for everyone.

Appearantly my main profile is very exposing and I have some privacy settings to set cause you don't even have to friend me to see almost everything which is ridiculous. That's besides the point.

I realize why the post section became empty. It's bc you have to select, "already seen," and, "recent posts." Other than that everything else goes under the person you searches name, kinda like a direct link.

So I'm going to go with this, you're here, you might have feelings for me but regardless of that- you did try to tell me you want me to be apart of your family one day. Now you're withholding doing anything but being that, "post," section was empty for so long and I didn't toggle settings I question a lot of what was there cause there is more. Things that aren't linked.

I don't want to say I'm going here or there and hoping you'll be there. Maybe I'll go to the cbd store around the 14th or something but idk I'll prob just order online. I get percentages off. It's convenient and saves me gas and money in terms of cost.

I only bring up the cbd store cause I don't go places and the towel is thrown in on glasses. I'm not wearing them anymore at least most of the time. Thats the only other activity except community service I'd be doing sometimes that wouldn't be going out of my way to find you. And I did say I'm not going anywhere to find you. I'm going places that make sense to my life. Like I'm going to New Hampshire around May 15th for cigarettes. Market basket in Swanzey. I absolutely don't expect you to be there but that's kinda my point. I'm only going places that make sense financially and is something I actually need to do.

I needed to say I tried with the glasses and I did, it was utter failure.

Idk if you want me to be apart of your family or if you see a drooling lunatic with psychosis

Now at least I know why that, "post," section was empty. I only wish I figured that out days ago.

All I know is I don't believe you'd fuck around with my feelings. I was so mad lens crafters was such a bust and I figured that one post meant we are on to west farms but I guess all I am going to say is:

Idk how you feel about me.

I'm not going to ask for confirmation. I wish you'd post the family photo but you did and it'd been up and down so much so- I will take that as you might one day reach out to me? Or try to find me? Idk..

All I know factually is there is no gray area. You aren't a provider to me or a past therapist and I'll await the day I find you somewhere I post about. Or I see a text from you. You have my number.

That Nathan at the brass mill mall will haunt me forever but my glasses were useless, yet I saw only Spanish people anyways.

I keep thinking of overboard-when the two soulmates swam to eachother. Arturo...

My brain either really wants to hang on to this delusion that you have feelings for me or there are mental messages. I don't believe in mental messages but I don't believe fb is fucking with me either.

What I believe is maybe one day you'll send me a text. Or maybe you'll use my tumblr as a way to find me but as for right now I'm not going anywhere cause I don't need anything.

Maybe I'll do community service to meet women. Idk. Working with kids make me happy but if it feels like a job I'm not doing it and also I'm always stressed anyways.

The southbury tango is off, its pricey and far and yea what's the point? Community services makes more sense. I don't have to pay to do it. I can't afford dance classes.

I hope one day you find me or just message me. I mean I love you so much I just want to be there for you and have a family that loves me. However your happiness means more to me than what I want.

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mc-tummy-blur · 1 year

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Ask Game to Get to Know You

I was tagged by @deathishauntedbyhumans a fat bit ago, so imma do it now, lol

What book are you currently reading?

I guess technically I'm reading The Qur'an for an English class that looks at Biblical texts as literature. Pretty interesting so far.

What's your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

Uhh, gotta be Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, but I feel like once I see John Wick Chapter 4, it could replace that. I've been dying to see it.

What do you usually wear?

Uh, idk I gues like comfortable clothes that I can lounge around in??? Clothes that maybe say Gender tm idk

How tall are you?

5'4. 5'4 and a half of a good day.

What's your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Aquarius. I mean, it's on Valentine's Day, so.

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

In public, I go by my birth name, and in private, I go by my chosen name. Honestly, I guess either one isn't so bad to be called, but I think one day I would like to be called by my chosen name in public.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Nope, and I'm very thankful I never did. I don't care what benefits the military or being a cop has. I'm not doing either, lmao

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I'm not, and I dont think I have one? It's more like it would be nice to be in a relationship in general, but I'm also not thinking too hard about it rn.

What's something you're good at vs. something you are bad at?

Good at drawing, bad at math.

Dogs or cats?

Both cause I got both.

What's something you would like to create stuff for?

I'd really like to do my own video essays one day on things that I like/things that are important to me. And, also I would like to film a project one day. Also, highkey, my brother, sister, and I joke that we should be writers in like any company we grew up with (Lucasfilms, TellTale Games). Hire us, you cowards, lmao. If not, we'd just start a podcast talking about how something should be written, lmao

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

Haven't written much this year, but I think my favorite art piece that I haven't shared on here was a drawing I did last night of Ruby Rose from RWBY, then seeing an old pic I did of her in 2017. Maybe I'll post the two at some point cause I like to show the growth I had.

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

The Persona games. Currently playing three and four. I'll find out a way to check out the first two games.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Can't think of anything at the moment

What's a hidden talent of yours?

The talent is so hidden that I haven't even figured it out yet lmao. Though maybe it's writing angst, I found out that I'm pretty good at that.

Are you religious?

I think at the end of the day, yeah, I am. But it's not extreme.

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

Not sure how I should answer this question since I'm interpreting it in multiple ways. Uh, I guess maybe like a chest binder? Or some like hot wings idk

I'll tag @sampoststuff @sharkmobster @indigomuunz @youraveragedeltafan, but honestly, anyone can do this

#mctalks #ask meme #tag game

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clanoffelidae · 1 year

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bleh

trying to tell myself that this is the heaviest time of year at work, im very much still recovering from covid, im still hurt by what happened back in early december and having difficulty re-engaging with previous past times because of the associations, and am also currently trying to help a disabled friend get out of his abusive home, find a doctor who can help him, and figure out how he can sustain himself financially long-term in a way that won't make everything worse in the long run by exceeding his limitations; so it's okay that i'm not doing a whole lot of 'fun' things or being super productive, i don't have to be to begin with, but i'm still feeling pretty down at times

i think by and large i'm mostly lonely; while i see people every day at work we're all stressed to hell and back, i retreated from several social circles when the whole deal went down in early december because it was all just constant reminders of what was hurting me (which was absolutely the right call, but the end result was also that, well, now i don't talk to as many people any more :/), and hit me so bad that i really should have gone to the hospital so i've just been too tired to socialize with people both irl and online but unfortunately human brains are stupid and still demand a level of socializing and make you feel bad when you don't get it even when putting in the effort to get it would cause greater overall suffering due to physical and mental stress (i've had like maybe half a spoon since i started feeling really sick around december 22nd-23rd)

i dunno, just externalizing it, if you happen to read this it's probably cause you follow me and so by now you are probably well aware that i do that a lot lol

idk writing in a journal or personal notepad doesn't really help as much, i try to bury these types of posts a lot by not tagging them and putting them under readmores in the hopes that they'll go largely unnoticed, but i need the façade of putting it out there and making it 'public' or else it still circles to an extent; i have to at least be able to pretend i'm saying it to other people to get it out best and unfortunately i haven't been able to cognitive dissonance myself well enough for truly private rambles to help

so like i dunno, if you're reading this don't feel like this is a cry for help or really saying anything, i'm just trying to process how i feel and externalize it in the hopes the bad vibes will ease up a bit

and what sucks even more is that now i feel the need to say that haha; because what hurt me so bad back in december was that two instances of me just posting things on my blog to externalize them, untagged (tagged with commentary but not tagged to be searchable) and hidden under readmores that were just me trying to get negative feelings out in as privately a way as i could while still saying them 'publicly' because my brain is stupid and needs to at least be able to pretend it's being said to other people, were taken and used to call me immature and untrustworthy, i was given no chance to defend myself or even ask questions until i went and tracked someone else down to ask if i could ask questions, no one ever reached out to me and asked about the posts before going ahead and leveling accusations at me (and i know the posts had to go through at least four people's hands and two levels of hierarchy), not once did anyone try to inquire about these non-specific and untagged posts to see if they had the story right, and while during the subsequent conversation one of them was cleared up and apologized for (which i greatly appreciate!) not a single thing was said about the other and the second post had been me venting irrational anxieties about encountering a specific individual who had previously hurt me and when i requested that they (people who used that post to accuse me) not do that to someone again as far as i can tell i was pretty much just brushed off

like if just one person had messaged me and said they were concerned about the posts or wanted to talk to me about them i would've been happy to clear things up right there on the spot

and now i can't even make an anonymous post on my anonymous tumblr blog about the fact that i'm feeling a little down without feeling the need to defend myself for doing so because the last time i did this it was -gestures irritably and exhaustedly to text wall above-

just sucks y'all, idk

at every possible point in that situation i tried to communicate with people when it was clear there was something to communicate about, beyond that i was just externalizing feelings and attempting to make sure they were out of the way and not bothering anyone, you don't get to come in here and demand that i should have taken my vent post about completely irrational anxieties relating to an individual who has harmed me previously to you, complete strangers, instead of just non-specifically venting it and burying it because it's irrational worry and i knew that and was just trying to get it out of my head; especially when you never tried to communicate your concerns to me, as far as i knew we had resolved everything because everything had been cleared up and everyone said it was fine, the sheer hypocrisy and audacity of demanding that i bring my personal trauma and anxiety to complete fucking strangers when said strangers couldn't even be bothered to send me a single damn message related to their own concerns after, again, we had seemingly cleared everything up and everything had been smoothed over because clarifications were made and everyone said it was cool, and then i got taken by complete surprise and felt the damn floor fall away from me after an hour or two once it fully sunk in that the fucking intrusive thoughts i was trying to cope with were used as a weapon against me

like fucking thanks they were already causing me enough difficulty on their own, didn't know they could be weaponized even further, now i know i guess

'but how could anyone have known that-?' maybe if they'd fucking asked me, at literally any point, instead of taking non-specific words from a complete stranger that were not directed at anyone and deciding what they meant in their own heads

but to do a complete tonal whiplash as is my specialty i am well and truly still upset about that and still working on it (emotional processing and recovery was halted by a blast door upon contracting covid wherein i transitioned from fighting a painful emotional situation to fighting for my damn life lol), slowly picking up steam again on working through it and dragging things up back out from where they got hurriedly buried because i had other priorities like trying to continue breathing to sort through them, but as awful as it was the statements of 'i hate that this happened and am extremely hurt by it and am still processing it' and 'if this situation hadn't happened i could've well died or at the very least wound up on a ventilator and with severe lung and probably heart damage from covid so i am simultaneously extremely grateful it happened because i love living and being alive' are not mutually exclusive <3

'lynx what the FUCK do you mean it stopped you from dying or at the very least ending up on a ventilator from covid'

part of the reason the situation was so hard on me was that i had inadvertently entered withdrawal from my adhd meds, an amphetamine, and the situation resulted in that withdrawal going on for much longer than it should have (and may have sort of been the reason it started because i wound up staying up late because i was so excited due to stuff related to the situation before it went to shit and as a result overslept and missed my meds for 2 days in a row and thus started me into withdrawal); it left me struggling to stand and trembling and with a persistent headache and too weak to do much other than stumble to the kitchen for 2 minutes and then stumble back to bed

what this means: i was in severe physical distress due to amphetamine withdrawal BUT i also built up an extra stockpile of the meds i failed to take

i shortly after went up to a higher dose of my meds

i barely had enough to get me through covid

if all of this hadn't happened i would have gone into amphetamine withdrawal from an even HIGHER dose of a medication which left me struggling to stand, extremely weak, and in pain when i went into withdrawal the first time; while being sick with covid that got so severe already that i could feel stuff rattling in my chest with every breath that i was too weak to cough out, i was unable to do more than take extremely shallow breaths because the lower parts of my lungs were gummed up, and i was having to breathe at about 35-40 breaths a minute while lying down resting because if i tried to slow or deepen my breathing at all i would become dizzy from oxygen deprivation

yeah anyway the situation sucks and im still very much working on the emotional hardship it caused and figuring out what to do but on the other hand i am simultaneously extraordinarily grateful for it because whatever benevolent but chaotic entity sets up the rube goldberg machine that is my life (this is NOT the first time something like this has happened, another good example im not going to get into the details of rn is 2 months of extremely painful ear infections saved me from a therapy bill) made sure i wouldn't die or at the very least end up on a ventilator with severe lung and probably heart damage from covid 👍

and ive got that other stuff going on like i mentioned at the beginning but that's way too much an on-going thing for me to have more thoughts than 'hnnng why can't i just kidnap friend' F lol

just venting and then felt it apt to ensure the tonal whiplash of my life hits as many people as possible because if you started reading that upset vent you gotta know what happened a few weeks later because buddy. ah.

anyway living and being alive is great, i have seen the face of death before and while it has left me a much wiser and more peaceful person in the aftermath (honestly i know it doesn't seem like it from my vent posts but that's because i have chronic can't shut up disease but at the end of it all i really only give a shit because i know that what happens to me can happen to others, if this had been something like 'yeah i got attacked by a rabid dog but it was euthanized and im getting treatment for it 's all good' you would've heard way less about it lol, it's because this is a kind of situation that ripples if that makes sense?) i really was laying there christmas night realizing the probability of me not waking up again (which is never 0) had increased by a worryingly large percentage and looking at death who was vibing on top of my chest and making it hard to breathe like '... i'm going to sleep and you better piss off while i'm in dreamland'

(not literally i mean this in a metaphorical sense)

at this rate i'm gonna have to start asking how the kids are lol

mfer's quiet tho like damn okay i'm not worth a reply i'll just go fuck myself then lol

(again, still being metaphorical here; it's one of those things where if you don't get it just let it go and if you get it you get it and also i'm so sorry do you want to talk /srs)

#this got longer than anticipated lol #feel better now tho so mission accomplished #maybe next time i can bring memes i have a few starting to bump around in my head like a window's screensaver

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sorry-i-spaced · 1 year

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Tagged by @maud-gone to answer some questions! Thanks for the tag! I'll tag: @gregorygerwitz / @idontgohereeither / @bipolarhawkeyepierce / and anyone who wants to do it!

What book are you currently reading?

I'm reading a bunch of different fanfics

What do you usually wear?

Jeans and a T-shirt and a sweatshirt

How tall are you?

5ft/5ft1 on a good day

What is your sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Sagittarius! I share a birthday with Owen Teaguen (he played in IT(2017)) and Dwight Howard

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Online I go by Liz, I've had many nicknames given to me a few are: small fry, fruitbat, and munchkin

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

5yr old me wanted to be a teacher, so no.. but 12yr old me wanted to be an actor and i do background acting as a side hustle so I think she would be proud of us! 16yr old me wanted to be behind the camera, which I'm working on, so I think she would be happy we're attempting something at all.

What is something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I can't draw to save my life and I'm really good at coming up with stories on the spot.

If you draw/write/create what’s your favorite thing you’ve ever created?

I'm really proud of my diagnosis deja Vu fic. I'm also proud of my really dumb music videos I've made and have posted on Tumblr

Dogs or cats?

Both? Idk I had a cat until I was 8 and he died. But then when I was like 10 my family got a dog and I grew up with her. I really like both tbh

What is something you would like to create content for?

I really want to get back into making music videos for ships and characters.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Reading fanfiction (?) Can that count? I don't have wifi at my house so I've been reading a lot

What’s something you were excited for and turned out to be disappointing?

Living on my own. Like I lived in on campus apartments at school, but living on my own (I have roommates but we never see each other cause we have drastically different schedules) is so hard. Like I never know what to cook so my spending money goes to take out and coffee, Im barely there cause I like being out and bout and overall I just want to move to a new place and have a reset and try the whole adulting thing in an apartment all over again

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I don't think I have one tbh

What’s something you wish you had this moment?

My weighted blanket or one of my soft blankets in general

#thanks for the tag!

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