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libraryofloveletters · 3 years

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Grey Sky Silhouette

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Post-prison Spencer (some of y’all don't like it), brief mention of murder, some kisses

Category: Angst/ lil bit of fluff at the end

Word Count: 2.7k

Author’s Note: I saw this picture and idk inspiration struck so here we are

italics are flashbacks

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Grey clouds blocked out the sun, the curtains in the bedroom pulled shut. Rolling to his side of the bed, there was an empty spot, a spot where he should be.

The sun was gone and so was your sunshine, your sweet love, your best friend, someone you hadn’t seen in months simply because he didn’t want to see you.

You weren't ready to face the fact that you could have lost him over something he didn't do. Guilt hit you and you pushed the feeling away, you were ready to see him but he wasn't ready to see you.

“Who are you here to see ?”

“Spencer Reid”

The officer took your ID and scanned the list for your name. “Sorry, you’re not on here”

“What ?” you had heard him but you were still confused. “What do you mean I‘m not there ? I'm his partner”

“Sometimes the inmates take people off their list”

The officer looked behind you at the forming line. “Please move, figure this out somewhere else. There are people waiting”

Looking over your shoulder, there were a few people behind you. An older couple, a woman and a small child, and a man at the end of the line. You stepped away from the counter, fishing your phone out of your pocket.

Waiting for the phone to ring, her voice filled your ear. “Hello ?” she answered, “JJ?” she knew something was off from the way you called out to her.

“Are you there?” she asked softly.

“Why aren’t I on the list ?”

“He doesn't want to see you”

“I don't care. I deserve to see him.”

JJ sighed, there were a few moments of silence before she spoke up again. “I’ll talk to him when I go tomorrow. I promise” she reassured you. “Thanks” was all you mumbled before hanging up the phone.

The floor was cold, all the warmth seemed to leave the apartment with him. It was constantly dark and cold, nothing you did changed that. The frame on the nightstand caught your eyes, a picture of the two of you in the hospital after one of his multiple work injuries. He sat on the hospital bed and you were standing beside him. His head rested on your side with your arm over his shoulder.

The frame strung a nerve clearly, it’s just that you didn't notice until you felt the tear roll down your face. Flipping the frame downwards so you couldn't see the picture, you went ahead with your routine.

Get up, sulk, get ready, work, come home to an empty apartment.

Over and over and over again.

Your heart hurt every time you thought of Spencer, you couldn't help it. It hurt that he didn’t want to see you even though you wanted to see him. You just had to move on, move on from the pain but not from him.

You could never move on from him.

The phone rang, Penelope’s name flashed across the screen. She had been checking up on you a lot more after she heard about the list fiasco, they all had.

“Hi Penelope” you cleared your throat, you could feel her happiness through the phone. “My angel y/n! how are you today ?” she asked sweetly, you couldn't help but smile. “I’m okay for now, how are you ?”

“I’m good! I have to go right now but I'll come by for dinner tonight!” Something felt off to you. It wasn't abnormal for Penelope to stop by or even spend the night with you but she seemed cheery, unusually cheery today.

“Sounds like a plan, is everything okay ?”

“Oh yeah, I'm fine sugar” it sounded like something clicked on her end or unlocked. “I have to go, I love you!” she said before hanging up. The sound of an automated voice came from her end, announcing something you didn’t catch before she hung up.

“I love you” the words rung in your head, except it wasn’t Penelope’s voice you were hearing, it was Spencer’s.

The sand squished under your feet as you walked down the shoreline with Spencer. His face had a scowl on it as he looked down at your feet. “What’s wrong Spence ?” you asked him, noticing the expression on his face.

“Does that not bother you ?” he questioned, his eyes still on your sand-covered feet.

“The sand ?” you asked, he nodded.

“Did you know that sand is usually made of silica?” he looked over at you,

“I didn't, do tell me more doctor” you smiled at the man.

“It's actually silicon dioxide, which is a compound that makes up most of the earth's crust. It also makes up mineral quartz and has many uses like making ceramics, concrete and countertops” his eyes shifted back down at the sand, kicking some with his shoe

“I love your facts Dr. Reid”

“And I love you” he blurted out.

Your mouth opened slightly, letting out a small “oh”

“I didn-” “I love you too Spencer”

The same feeling of hurt returned. He filled your thoughts 24/7, his voice, his face, his smile, his hands, everything made you think about him. You pushed the feelings away once again and got ready for work. Dragging yourself to the kitchen, his mug sat on the counter, right where he left it three months ago. Of course you had dumped the stale coffee and washed it, but you returned it to that exact spot. You cleaned and returned it to that spot.

That was the last thing he left laying around before he got arrested. You couldn't bring yourself to move it.

Sighing, the kitchen was empty, there was nothing to eat. Giving up on your sad apartment, you headed out for the day.

Penelope stood in front of the green barred door, her heel tapped against the concrete as she waited for them. Only two of them were allowed in and although she worked for the FBI, she didn't have clearance like Luke and JJ did.

The officer pulled the door open and Spencer walked through, JJ and Luke not far behind him. Penelope's arms opened and he made his way over to her, pulling her into a long awaited hug.

“I missed you so much” she whispered to him, her arms wrapped around her friend. “I missed you too” he held her for a few moments longer before letting go.

The four of them headed to the SUV, Penelope filling Spencer in on everything he missed the last three months. “Sergio is good, he’s at my apartment right now.” she told him while showing him pictures.

Spencer smiled at her, he appreciated everything they had done for him while he was in there, but his mind kept drifting back to the one person he had yet to see.

“They came to see you Spence” JJ said to him, there was a feeling of tightness in his stomach.

“I don't- I can’t let them see me like this” Spencer’s head hung low, he couldn't look at JJ. He knew what she was going to say but he couldn't bear to hear it.

“Why?” she asked, “y/n called and said that their name wasn’t on the list. Why’d you take it off?”

Spencer looked up at her. They both knew why he had taken your name off, he never wanted you to see him like this. He could barely bring himself to say your name right now.

He met you after a low point in his life, you were his saving grace. Letting you see him like this was the last thing he ever wanted. As he went to answer JJ, the alarm went off. JJ promised to be back the next day to talk to him.

Spencer looked over the window as Luke drove down the road. Penelope’s touch brought him back from his thoughts. “They’re okay. I spoke to y/n this morning”

“Do they know ?” Spencer asked her, his eyes still fixated on the road. Penelope shook her head. “They should be at work right now. Do you want to go home or go back to the BAU?”

“Home” Spencer whispered.

The word felt foreign. Home was somewhere he dreamt of while he was in prison, never did he think he'd be able to see his home again, to see you again. The drive was quiet, the song of the rain hitting the vehicle was all he heard.

Spencer stood outside the apartment building, Penelope stood beside him. She pulled out a bunch of keys from her purse and handed them to him, “do you want me to come up with you ?” Spencer shook his head. “Thank you” he hugged her once more, he walked towards the door looking back at his friends once more before heading inside.

The walk up was quiet, it was the middle of the day. He bumped into his neighbour who was about to take his dog out on a walk. He asked Spencer where he had been the last few months, Spencer just told him he was away on a work assignment.

The lock clicked and he pushed the door open. The scent of your perfume and coffee filled his senses. That was a smell he’d never get tired of. He looked around, taking in the space. Although it was his place, he had gotten used to a 6x6 cell and this would take some readjustment. He slipped off his shoes and walked across the floor, his feet padded across the hardwood floor rather than the sound of clicking on concrete he had gotten used too.

Spencer’s head peered into the kitchen, there was a pot of coffee on the counter. His hand pressed against the side of the pot, it was cold but he didn’t mind. He opened the cupboard to look for his mug but it wasn't there, he looked down to see it on the counter, the sight of the mug brought a smile to his face.

“Do you have to go ?” you asked him, your knees curled up to your chest as you sat on the chair by the table.

“Yes I do, you know I do” Spencer smiled at you, taking a sip of his coffee.

“What am I going to do while you’re gone? maybe I'll adopt a puppy to keep me company” you tease him, he rolled his eyes.

This was the first time since you had moved in that Spencer was leaving you at home by yourself for a case. “Read a book my darling, but no puppies in here” he set his mug down on the counter before making his way over to you.

He leaned down slightly, his hands cupping your face. Smiling up at him, Spencer leaned down and placed a small kiss against your lips. Your hands reached up his face, holding him close to you as he began to step away.

“Mhm no” you mumbled against his lips, getting up as he moved back from the chair. The two of you were still holding each other and you were still kissing but you didn’t want to let go.

“It’s only 3 days” he mumbled, his lips on yours still.

“Spencer” you whined, he moved back towards the door and you followed him. Your arms rested over his shoulder and his hands were on your waist. “I love you” he kissed you once more,

“I love you too”

Returning to the living room with the mug in his hand, he made his way over to the window. He pulled the curtains open in an attempt to let some light in but was met with grey, cloudy skies instead. Spencer never minded the clouds, he wasn't a big fan of the sun nor the cold, but the rain was perfect. This was his favourite type of weather, it was not cold out but it wasn't hot either, there was a warm breeze out. Everything came to a stand still when it was like this.

The grocery bags dragged up the stairs as you fumbled through your pocket for the keys. The sound of the record player coming from the apartment, you stopped in front of the door. Taking a moment to assess your options before opening the door.

Best case, you had turned it on this morning and forgot to take the pin off the vinyl. Worst case, someone broke into the apartment and is waiting to kill you.

What did you have to lose ?

The lock clicked as you turned the key, you pushed the door open and pulled the bags in with you. All the lights were off, the record player had a vinyl on it and there was a person standing by the window. The person had their back to you, they looked like a silhouette in the dull light coming from the window.

Stepping further into the apartment, you could see the person a bit better. They wore a white shirt and grey slacks. They had a head full of brown curls, the same brown curls your love has.

But, it couldn't be him. Could it ?

“Spencer ?” you called out, a few feet away from the person by the window. They turned towards you.

“Spencer.” you let a breath of relief, Spencer smiled at you. “Miss me ?” he asked, you shook your head. “Always.” you smiled, Spencer gave you a small smile. He picked up the bags you left by the door and walked to the kitchen, you followed him. He began putting away the groceries, “I got it” you took the cereal box from him, “it’s okay. Can I please ?” he looked at you, you handed the box back to him.

You watched as he put them away. “I’m gonna change, I'll be back” you let him in the kitchen and headed to the bedroom. The frame was faced down, you lifted it and put it back in its place. You changed and headed back, you needed to talk to him.

“Spence?” you sat on the couch, he made his way over and sat beside you. “Can we talk ?” you asked, he nodded. “We can do whatever you want” he said, you sighed.

“Why didn’t you let me come see you ? I know it was hard at first but Spencer, seriously ? I love you, I wanted to be- I should have been there for you.” You let out your feelings, you both knew this conversation was coming. It didn't matter if he got out yesterday or 20 years from now, it was going to happen.

“I couldn’t let you see me like that y/n.”

“Like what?”

“Rock bottom. You never need to see me like that, you understand ?” Spencer reached out and rested his hands on yours, you held his.

“Spencer, that’s why I'm here, to help you. Rock bottom or not, I’m always gonna be here because I want to be, you understand ?” putting the emphasis on the last two words. Spencer just nodded.

Spencer leaned into the side of the couch, you could see the sleepiness on his face. You opened your arms, he leaned forward and made himself comfortable on you. He sat between your legs, his head resting on your chest, his back against you. Spencer let out a hum as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled.

You leaned down and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “It's okay baby. You're home and that’s all that matters.”

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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932

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I love pro wrestling, if you count that as a sport. I definitely prefer to just stay in front of a TV – I have never been in a ring, nor am I physically fit to even give it a shot without getting harshly injured. Conversely, I love table tennis but I’d rather play it than watch a game.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: It was a stranger who, upon checking, seems to be some sort of spam account promoting a pyramid scheme. Happy to nope the fuck out of there.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Definitely not. I don’t add people I didn’t know on any level, anyway.

How recently did you wash your hands?: This morning when I cleaned up after Cooper.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: Not a common name here, so I don’t know any Emmas.

[trigger warning under this I guess. Lots of angst going on at the moment.]

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Yeah. I’ve been feeling very upset and under stress lately...to give you an idea, I find it a personal achievement to have gotten up and taken this survey. I’m at least self-aware that this is a temporary slump, but while it’s here hanging around, it really sucks to be in it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?: Shitty. The only reason I got up at all was to feed my dogs but otherwise I’ve been glued to either the couch or my bed.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Lately, it’s episodes of Good Mythical Morning. Rhett, Link, and their crew will never have any idea just how much they’ve helped this 22 year old, now-wondering-what-her-purpose-is-in-life fresh college graduate keep sane, but I’m glad they have hours upon hours of content and podcasts lying around to keep me company while no one else can.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: I finished another survey that I abandoned yesterday, and was watching GMM to fill up the silence in my room.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: I’ve been job-hunting 24/7 but lately I’ve been giving myself a break on weekends since no one will be processing applications or booking interviews on a Saturday anyway.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Around noon today.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Apparently not. I’ve been a wreck all month so far and nothing has worked. Before September, I certainly thought animals or certain humans worked as cures for me.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: I don’t feel that way about them. I think my friends care for me a whole lot, which I appreciate. I’ve had friends come to my DMs quite a few times in the last few days with messages of support since I’ve been a little vocal about how sad I’ve been feeling these days, so I for sure don’t feel invisible. Making me feel present is the best gift anyone could give me.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: Last week when Gab came over.

Who was the last person that apologised to you?: Myself.

What were they apologising for?: Haven’t been looking out for myself recently.

Do you think they meant it?: I guess not, because I still haven’t stopped being destructive towards myself.

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have them as my friends so they see everything. But I’m 22, so while they can complain about some of my posts (and it’s usually the political ones lol), they can’t tell me to take anything down anymore the same way they were able to do so when I was younger.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: She’s very warm, understanding, generous, and immeasurably protective of the people she loves.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plush dog pencilcase that I use for my pens and pencils (given by my sister) and a pink pencilcase with a floral design that holds my highlighters (given by Jane).

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Some girl named Abby whose surname begins with D. She was someone from my high school and we mutually know each other, but we’re not friends and we’ve never even talked.

How did you meet him/her?: I’ve never talked to her but I’ve known of her since grade school I guess? since she’s my sister’s batchmate.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?: No.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It would just be my girlfriend too so there wouldn’t be any problems, except that I’d probably break down crying upon seeing her again because I’ve barely pulled myself together over the last week and have had to go through it alone.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: These days I’m definitely doubting my capabilities and achievements and all the shit I’ve put on my resumé and portfolio, and now I’m scared if any company will even give me a chance. I’m honestly holding a little bit of resentment for every employed person right now because I have seen absolutely no one talk about how brutal this whole process/waiting game is, lol. This is so SHITTY, is it just difficult for me or what???? I’m so baffled.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: I’ve dealt with myself, but that’s it.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Dark brown.

What is a word or phrase that you say often?: I like saying “I guess” because it makes me sound unsure about most things and thus makes me not 100% accountable if things go wrong hah. I do have another answer that’s more in line with the angst and depression I’ve been going through recently, and it’s that I’ve repeating BoJack Horseman’s ‘piece of shit’ monologue to himself, but this time saying it to myself.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.: Sparks by Coldplay; anything by Mitski; and anything by St. Vincent.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?: We have...a lot. We still have the chocolate cake from Nina’s birthday and we recently received an entire pack of various fun-size chocolate bars like Twix, Three Musketeers, etc. from my aunt. We also have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I normally would finish up in a day, but I’ve been saving it for every future job rejection I receive.

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: Chesca.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: Yes. I’m protective of my sister but I don’t show it lol. We are not showy in this family.

Who was the last person you insulted?: Idk probably a politician on social media.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: I have not gone out of my room all day...I did not miss this sensation. It’s been a while since I’ve locked myself up for this long.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: There’s a house behind ours that loudly plays 80s and 90s power ballads and love songs and it gets insanely irritating and makes the neighborhood feel cheap, but I keep my feelings to myself and I’ve never actually confronted them about it and asked them to stop or decrease their speaker’s volume.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Like 30 minutes ago. I’m not very talkative these days and it was actually just the second time today that I initiated a bried conversation. I feel bad for her, and I can’t wait to get better so I can start treating her right again.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?: I don’t usually tell this to people.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “We know better so we’d both better go.”

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: Lots. She’s my girlfriend lol.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: I don’t know. If I feel any better, I’d practice and review for my upcoming interview this Tuesday, but if I’m not okay by then...I don’t know. I’ve stopped planning my days out recently and just go where my legs take me.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: I was at the dining table trying to take a survey, but I quickly lost interest in it.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: Kind of. Like I mentioned, Gabie’s on the night shift so I’ve been keeping her company, which means I occasionally take naps in the afternoon.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: No. I’m so scared of tomorrows now.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?: I dislike Athenna only because of her attitude and the way she treated Angela during the last few days of their friendship. I don’t have any personal beef with her, at least I don’t think I have. She likes stirring up shit though and I won’t be surprised if she was able to make up a story about me to get our other friends to dislike me.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: Eh, I’m pretty picky about chocolate bars so I have more brands that I dislike than the ones I do enjoy. I only like Reese’s, Butterfinger, Twix, and Whittaker’s.

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: Just this girl I went to grade school with named Mitch. Otherwise, April 21 babies are a rare breed apparently.

Name the last song that made you cry.: O by Coldplay.

Who do you miss at this moment?: The me from like two weeks ago lol. How far I’ve fallen.

Where is that person?: Stuck in August, I guess.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: No.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: No.

Is your television on atm?: It’s not, but I have my phone playing GMM videos on YouTube to keep me company.

If it is, what are you watching?: It’s one of their product test videos.

Are you wearing anything blue?: My shirt is blue, actually.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: Rhett and Link, and that’s pretty much it.

Do you use Twitter?: Sure.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. They’re pitting brand name cleaning products and natural cleaning products against each other and seeing which one is more effective. I love these videos of theirs, hahaha.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: No, I feel like I’ve grilled myself enough in this survey.

#survey #surveys

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boxed-n-bottled-arson · 4 years

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Yandere Virgil chapter 3

Summary: Virgil’s deal with the mysterious ‘Rem’ needs to be filled. So Virgil finds a way to expel of Remy Skyes and makes his worst ever mistake.

Warnings: Food mentioned, plotting murder, murder, brief description of dead bodies, cursing (2), blood mentioned, injury mentioned, fire mentioned, near-death experiences.

Ships: one-sided moxiety, RemyxPatton slightly

Virgil walked through the cafeteria staring down at his feet. A week had passed since Logan’s murder, and a week had passed since he made a deal to kill Remy Skye. He had two weeks, two minuscule weeks to kill Remy or…. He didn’t know what would happen. But Virgil really didn’t want to find out.

He arrived at the table he and Patton always sat at (well… Logan and Roman also sat there, or at least used to). He took his seat next to Patton, who immediately leaned on Virgil. This had been happening a lot recently since Patton had been taking the deaths of his friends not very well, but at least Virgil was there to comfort him. They sat in comfortable silence for a bit till Patton spoke up, “Virge, I’m scared.” “Why would that be Pat?” Patton looked at Virgil, “I know that Roman and Logan’s deaths look like accidences but” Patton paused for a second, “what if they weren’t?” Virgil’s eyes grew big, as Patton continued talking, “And...and,” tears started to roll down Patton’s face, “what if I lose you?” Virgil pulled Patton into the closest hug he could. “Shh, Pat it’s ok. You’re not gonna lose me I promise.” Virgil sat there, holding Patton as Patton continued to cry, it took a bit, but Patton had managed to calm down. “Sorry about that Virge,” Patton said, gaze resting on the floor. Virgil put a hand on Patton’s shoulder, “It’s ok Pat, and it’s ok to be scared.” Pat looked up at Virgil and nodded, before giving him a shy yet genuine smile. A smile that was so rare since the passing of Roman. A smile that made Virgil’s heart flutter. A smile that Virgil fell in love with.

A bell rung, signaling the end of final period. Virgil gathered his stuff and made his way out of the classroom, heading for the door at the front of the school. He made his way through crowds of students and eventually made it to the front doors. Stepping through the doors, Virgil looked around the front area od the school till he spotted Patton who was talking to...Remy. Virgil’s eyes grew wide and his breathing picked up. Why was Remy talking to Patton? Is Remy flirting with Patton? Countless more questions ran through Virgil’s head before he calmed himself enough to be able to walk towards Patton and Remy. “Ya, the party’s from 8 to 10 at my place tomorrow, you better not miss it, girl.” Virgil heard Remy say. Virgil was hoping the anger he was feeling didn’t seep out and onto his face. “Of course I’ll be there Remy!” Patton said, tone bubbly and excited. Remy walked away before Virgil had arrived, but Remy had left oh so many bread crumbs that would lead to his very own demise.

Virgil arrived in math class on the morning of the party, taking his typical seat in the back of the room. Nothing seemed unordinary till Virgil opened his math binder. In it were the typical scattered papers and notes, but on top of everything was a party invitation. An invitation to none other than Remy’s party (with Rem signed in the bottom corner,). Murmuring a thank you under his breath to this mysterious 'Rem', Virgil flipped the invitation over reading to read the details. The party was as Remy said from 8 to 10 tonight, at 118 Greencircle (which Virgil presumed was Remy's address). The invitation had been obviously stolen, though, maybe Virgil would take the hint from Rem that now was the time to strike.

Virgil stared from across the street at the house he was about to infiltrate. The house had rainbow light flowing out of it, and Virgil could faintly hear the music from it. Virgil was shaking, like fully shaking. Unlike any business he had conducted at school, this was loud and there were SO many people, along with a higher risk to be caught. Virgil pulled his patchwork jacket close to him as he walked shakily across the street, towards the front lawn when he saw them. Them, as in people including Remy sitting on the porch, he was walking towards. Virgil's breathing hitched before he immediately ran for the bushes on the side of the house and ducked into them. Virgil's breathing was heavy, and he desperately hoping the people on the porch were to busy drinking punch and talking to notice him walk towards the house.

Virgil sat in the bushes staring at the wall of the house he was next to. His plan of sneaking in and desperately avoiding anyone he knew, had been foiled and he needed a new one. That's when he heard a girlish squeal followed by a distressed Remy screaming, "GIRL, I WALK INTO THE DOOR OF MY OWN HOUSE FOR MY OWN PARTY AND GET A BUCKET OF PUNCH POURED ON ME!?!?" Virgil smirked. Whether this was Rem’s doing or the universe itself, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a bit lucky. "THANKS, BITCHES, IM GOING TO GET CHANGED UPSTAIRS" he heard Remy scream again. Ah, so Virgil had a place to head to. Virgil stood up, staring at the siding on the house. There was no he would be able to grip onto it and climb up. But the ivy running all up and down the sides, he might just be able to climb that. The pressure from the clock and thought of his and Rem's deal pushed him to start climbing without a second thought.

The ivy was thornless, but still hard to climb up and had very few places Virgil could put his feet, not to mention the house he was climbing was also two stories. The worst though happened about halfway up the house.

Virgil's hands gripped the ivy, like a lifeline. He barely dared to even breathe, scared it would lead to ripping the ivy he was holding on. Virgil moved his left hand a little higher, grabbing a new strand of ivy and pulling himself farther up. He pulled his body up, and his left foot rested on another part of the ivy when he felt it break from under him. His hands slid down the ivy as his feet dangled off the side of the house. His hands gripped to the ivy, like his life depended on it, wait, his life did depend on it. This was it. Life or death. Mustering up all the strength and adrenaline he could, Virgil pulled himself up and grabbed a nearby window sill as he felt all the ivy he was gripping snap. Virgil pulled himself onto the sill, his breaths coming in gasping, wavy lengths. The sill was barely big enough for him to sit on, but it felt sturdy enough to support him. Virgil wished he could have tried to calm himself, but the clock was ticking and Remy wasn't gonna be in the bathroom all night.

Virgil pushed his face against the glass of the window, it seemed to be a bedroom of some sort. Backing away from the glass, Virgil looked up to the next window sill. It wasn't that high above him, and he jumped and got a good enough grip to pull himself up. The window obviously belonged to the bathroom, the lights were on so you could easily see the toilet, sink, and shower. Most importantly though Remy was there, staring at himself in the mirror.

Virgil could taste the victory on his tongue, or maybe that was the blood from him biting his cheek out of nerves. It took a moment but Virgil managed to open the semi-broken (which had already been broken) window and was now able to access the bathroom. Remy was talking on the phone, supposedly to someone who was not able to make the party and not paying attention to his surroundings. "Agh, girl these bitches decide to pour a bowl of punch on my head and it's still sticking to my fingers and I'm gonna have to blow dry my hair!" Virgil silently snickered at Remy’s overdramatic tone. The person on the other end spoke up, "try soaking your hand in warm water or something, idk that might help." The voice was unrecognizable to Virgil, "Fine I'll see if that helps," Remy said as he turned on the facet.

It was unexpected, it was sudden, and Remy never saw it. He thought he was alone, except for Tayln over the phone (He had called them complaining Patton looked way too cute in the outfit they were wearing). He had just turned on the water, trying to rid his fingers of the annoying sticky feeling they retained from having punch poured over him when in barely the blink of an eye, he saw his hairdryer fall into the sink. Almost instantly, Remy felt the electricity pulse through him. Through his hands, then his arms, through his torso, then right to his brain.

He was dead before his body hit the floor.

Virgil watched from the side as Remy’s body hit the white tile floor of the bathroom. It was strange how weird people looked when they had that spark of life removed from them. They looked almost clouded, their eyes no longer glowing. Virgil could see that even through Remy’s sunglasses.

“Hello there? Rems, you there?” The person from Remy’s phone asked. Virgil froze up. There was no way in hell he’d be able to answer that. He quickly weighed his options before clicking the end call button. Virgil let out a shaky sigh, his eye’s resting to the sink that he’d turned into a murder weapon. How much of this was he willing to do for Patton? Patton… The one thing keeping him going. Patton. Virgil couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him.

Right before Virgil could go on to start daydream he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, notifying him of a new text.

“Good work. Remy has been...dealt with. Though you now have a party full of people with a missing host, and a most likely distressed friend you hung up on. Not to mention the fingerprints on the side of the house and window. Nevertheless, I’m going to offer my help to you. There is another person hot on my tail, and I need them removed. You agree to take care of them, I’ll clean up this party and evidence. Do we have a deal?

-Rem”

Virgil had never realized how much evidence he made, nor how glad he really was to have Rem. He quickly texted back his agreement.

“Fine, I agree to help you.”

“I’m glad”

A second passed before Virgil received another text,

“I’m gonna need you to leave that house, there should be an easy exit from the master bedroom connected to the bathroom you’re in. Bedroom also seems to be deserted.”

“Ok”

Virgil tucked his phone in his pocket before walking over to a near door. Opening it he was greeted with the sight of the master bedroom. Pulling out his phone he texted Rem again,

“What type of exit am I looking for?”

“Window closes to the bed has a tree outside of it. Jump on to it and climb down, tell me when you’re on the other side of the road.”

Virgil turned off his phone and made his way to the window. Rem was correct, a large birch tree sat right outside the window. Unlocking the window and opening it, Virgil gave no second thought before jumping into the tree. That was a mistake. He ended up slamming into one of the branches and hurting his ribs. He had to keep going though. He didn’t have long before someone went looking for Remy and found him dead. High on adrenaline and fear, Virgil made his way done the tree (trying to ignore the stinging pain from his most likely bruised ribs).

At the base of the tree, Virgil took a few deep breaths, yet as much as he wanted it to be over it wasn’t. He still needed to make it to the other side of the road. With one hand gripping his side and hurt ribs, Virgil sulking made his way over to the side of the road (making sure to check for cars, he had already had too many near-death experiences today). Once there Virgil practically fell onto the side of the road and laid there. He was exhausted. Slowly he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“I’m at the side of the road”

He laid his phone on his chest and felt himself smile slightly. It was over, Remy was dead. He just had one more person to get rid of and if you were smart he wouldn’t need rem’s hel-.

All thoughts were cut off by the smell of smoke and sounds of screams.

Virgil hastily stood up and looked at the scene in front of him. Remy’s house was fully ablaze, people were filling out of it, and smoke was rising up from the house. Virgil grabbed his phone and frantically started typing.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Rem responded back quickly

“Removed evidence. The fingerprints and body are simply burned away, and the people in the house are leaving. The whole thing will look like someone simply left a burner on or dropped a cigarette in the wrong place.”

Virgil’s eyes drifted back to the sea of people now in front of the house.

“PATTON WAS IN THAT HOUSE.”

“And he is completely safe.”

Rem’s response was delivered with a picture of Patton right outside the house, he seemed to be on the phone panicking, most likely calling 911 or his family.

Rem sent another message soon after,

“Now if you’re done panicking, I have another client you need to expel of.”

The message was sent with a picture of a person called Damion ‘Deceit’ Nova. Virgil’s eyes grew as he stared at the picture. Damion was the kid everyone was scared of, he was rumored to be part of some mafia and was that was always in fights. Fights, that ended oftentimes in blood and potentially the other person not walking out. Damion was heavily dangerous and could probably snap Virgil right in half.

“I assume you know who this is,”

Virgil typed his response, panicked thoughts running through his head on about how long he would have to expel of Damion

“HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KILL HIM? ANYONE WHO GOES NEAR HIM PRACTICALLY DIES!!”

“I cleaned up one of your messes, you’re cleaning up one of mine. You have 3 weeks, I expect Damion gone.”

Virgil would have texted Rem, but he knew there was no hope in bargaining with the mysterious figure. Virgil stared up at the still burning house. He really was screwed, wasn’t he?

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wannawritefast · 5 years

Text

So Very Much

A/N: Hello, lovelies! I decided to try my hand at a Roger fic so let me know what y’all think! I know that this is well past the holidays but I do what I want so... Once again, a HUUUUGE thank you to my editor :) @andtheswordwentsnickersnack. And since I know @hollandroos is a huge slut for Ben Hardy as Roger (like I am)... you’re welcome.

Request by anon: hey! can you do a roger taylor fluff fic where it’s new year’s day, and they want to do nothing but cuddle and make out? thank you!

Pairing: BoRhap!Roger x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, mild language, implied smut (kinda...?), kissing?, just a whole bunch of domestic fluff idk man

“What do you mean you’re ‘not going to make it’?” Mary asked seriously. The cat in your lap jumped away as you sat up abruptly. “‘Not going to make it’? But it’s Christmas!”

You and Mary were huddled by the phone in her apartment for your routine post-show phone call. The boys had been touring for the past two months. And they had said, no, promised, that they would be back in time for Christmas.

Mary let out a heavy sigh and you got up to pour yourself more tea. You couldn’t trust yourself to do much else when you were this frustrated. One of the other cats trotted after you.

“Yeah, I understand,” She muttered. Mary’s fingers scratched at her forehead and she ran a hand down her face. “You’ll at least make it for New Year’s, right?”

You put some of the cookies the two of you had baked earlier on a plate and carried your mug of hot tea back to your spot on the couch. You held out the plate of cookies to her and she plucked up a chocolate chip cookie with a nod of ‘thanks.’ The two of you simultaneously bit into the pastries and slumped against the couch cushions. Another cat sat attentively watching you eat the cookie.

“Freddie,” Mary groaned. “It’s the holidays. You deserve a break as much as they do.”

You broke off a crumb of the cookie without chocolate and gave it to the cat sitting next to you. The two others immediately hopped up after it, now begging you for some as well when they had previously been indifferent to your existence.

“I know it’s important to you, love,” Mary switched the phone from one ear to the other. “I could care less about the money. But you know what I do care about?... Yes, you!”

Mary listened in silence for about a minute, mumbled out a ‘love you, too,’ and handed over the phone to you. You scooted yourself over, cats moving in tow as Mary moved on the other end. She gnawed at her thumb nail.

You weren’t entirely sure what Roger was going to tell you that you didn’t already know. He had missed your last birthday. He was going to miss Christmas. And he was going to miss New Year's too.

“Hello,” you began. You picked at the polish on your finger, just wanting to hear his voice.

“Hello, beautiful,” Roger’s voice answered. “I miss you.”

Normally you would have smiled or joked around in response. That was how your relationship worked. But you were too upset to do that right now.

“I miss you too.” You answered. “How was your show?”

“Good.” He chirped. “Wanna know the bra count?”

“Sure,” you laughed but it felt empty. Roger and you made a habit of keeping track of how many bras get thrown onstage during the show.

“6! It's a new record!” Roger joked cheerfully.

You hummed in response trying to sound equally as excited. But Roger knew better. He always did.

“I can hear the frown on your face. What’s the matter?”

“Just that we’re not going to spend the holidays together like you said we would.” You curled your arms and legs into your torso. The 1 of the 3 cats had since given up on the cookie. One of the remaining stood on its hind legs and pressed its front paws on your bicep.

Your boyfriend let out a sigh over the other side of the line. “You heard?”

“Well, I’m with Mary. Yeah, I heard.” You explained.

You heard rustling. “I would have liked to tell you myself.”

“A little late for that, huh?” You chuckled humorlessly. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes.

You were proud of Roger, honestly. You really were. This was his dream and he was succeeding and you were so happy for him. You hated when he was gone this long though. And it’s not that you didn’t trust him because, by God, you did. You just missed him so much.

“I really don’t know what to say or what to tell you, Y/n,” Roger confessed. You looked over to Mary who had let a few silent tears fall as she stared at the currently off telly. You made eye contact with her as one of your own tears rolled down your cheek.

“That you’ll come home somehow.” Your voice broke and you coughed to cover it. “Please.”

“Y/n...”

“Yeah,” you said, and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself. “I know, Roger.”

“I’m really sorry.”

No, you aren’t, you thought. But you held your tongue and swallowed back the words, not wanting to cause a fight. You knew he was sorry but you were bitter.

“Yeah, I know.” You answered dejectedly.

“I’ll-”

“Make it up to me, yeah,” you looked over to Mary again as you rubbed at your eye with you jumper sleeve. She crawled over to you and you let her lean against you. You were grateful for the contact.

“Well, I’ve got to go,” he breathed. He always had to go. You nodded in response well aware that he couldn’t see it.

You sniffled. “I love you, Rog. So very much.”

“I love you too, Y/n. So very much.” He matched the cadence of your voice. A chuckle bubbled it’s way through your lungs. “Bye, beautiful.”

“Bye,” you whispered. The line went dead and you set the phone back on the stand.

You and Mary sat together, emotionally drained, slouched on the couch. The both of you suddenly were without the loves of your lives for the holidays.

“So,” you breathed shakily. You let a few more tears fall. “You got any plans for Christmas?” Mary laughed dryly. “Or New Year’s?” She shot back. “Seriously I’ve got no plans! Not anymore anyways…” You trailed off.

“We can do Christmas at yours and New Year’s here,” she suggested with a shrug.

You nodded absentmindedly. That would be fun, you supposed. “Sounds good by me.”

“Want to sleep over tonight?” Mary asked as she sat up and faced you.

“Sure,” you replied. “As long as I buy breakfast tomorrow morning, my treat.”

“You have yourself a deal.”

The holidays went as planned with Mary. You spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her at your flat, watching Christmas movies and exchanging presents. Mary even brought over her presents from Freddie and her family and opened them at your flat. Having someone else there was so much better than the solitude you had become used to.

It was all well and good until you realized that Roger’s presents were going to remain under the tree for quite a bit. He called you in the afternoon to wish you a Happy Christmas and to apologize again. After Mary left, you spent the rest of the day drinking wine and crying. You couldn’t even bring yourself to take down any of the decorations.

Nearly a week passed and Mary got sick with the flu, leaving you to celebrate New Year’s eve alone. You had tried to help her, but she insisted that she could manage and didn’t want to risk getting you sick. (She deadbolted her front door and wouldn’t let you in when you dropped by with soup.)

Because you had nothing else to do, nowhere to go, and zero desire to be out on a night like this, you did chores and cooked for a good majority of the day. After cleaning the bedroom, guest bedroom, and bathroom, you moved onto slow-roasting vegetables for your dinner. You were not looking forward to ringing in the New Year on your own.

You laid on your bed, bored out of your mind. What did people do when they had this much time to kill? Staring at the ceiling you let your legs hang off of the edge and your thoughts wander.

You hated sleeping in this damn bed. It was too big and too soft and too cold except when Roger was there in it too. But now you were starting to get used to sleeping in it alone, and that was the problem. You didn’t want to get used to it.

When Roger was here, the bed was small and you could touch him. When Roger was here, the bed didn’t need to be soft because you slept right up against him, almost on top of him. When Roger was here, the bed was too hot and you would kick the covers onto the floor and still be wrapped in his arms because him making you overheat while you tried to sleep was better than having no one there at all.

You cried yourself into a dreamless nap and stirred awake to the sound of your front door opening. You rubbed your puffy eyes.

Someone else was in your flat.

Sitting bolt upright, you came to your senses and instinctively reached to grab the flashlight, kept on your nightstand at Roger’s insistence.

“Y/n?” A voice called.

You knew that voice. But that couldn’t be right. You let the flashlight fall back to the nightstand with a clatter.

“Y/n! I’m home.” You clambered and scrambled off of the bed in your half-awake daze. Roger.

You sprinted down the hallway, not caring about how many walls you stumbled into. You had to be imagining this.

You rounded the corner and beheld your boyfriend shutting the front door behind him and setting down his bags next to the coat rack. You were so overwhelmed with the situation that you couldn’t help the expression of love that left your mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Roger blinked at you in confusion. “‘Welcome home’ would suffice,” he teased warmly.

The reality of him being home finally hit you and you ran full force at your boyfriend. You wrapped him your arms and legs around him and he held you tightly, like he didn’t intend on letting go for a while. For real.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you whispered. You loosened your arms but didn’t let go of him nor did he let go of you. You remained suspended in his embrace. Roger’s pretty blue eyes looked back into yours and you weren’t dreaming. “But really… what are you doing here?”

Instead of answering you, Roger attacked your lips with his and walked the two of you to the couch where you sat straddling his lap. For a blissful minute, that was all you did. You kissed him, attempting to make up for all the time you had lost when he was away. And you had a LOT of catching up to do.

Eventually you pulled away much to the dismay of Roger. Your fingertips brushed his fluffy blonde hair out of his face, still seated in his lap. You pecked a kiss to Roger’s nose.

“So…” you prompted for the third time. Roger leaned forward to kiss you again but you put your pointer finger up to halt his lips. “I’m not complaining. And we can bloody well finish this later but no more until I get an explanation.”

“I can’t surprise my loving girlfriend?” He asked with that cheeky grin that he wore oh-so well. You raised your eyebrows at him and he ran his fingers idly up and down the outsides of your legs. “Freddie worked his magic and got us free time. Except for a few weekend gigs, I’m all yours until the end of January.”

You gasped in excitement. “Are you serious?!”

Roger laughed in response. “Of course, darling.”

You squealed and kissed him again, over the moon that Roger was going to be home for a while. Especially since he wouldn’t be missing New Year’s Eve like he said he would. You looked at the gifts under the tree and then back at Roger.

“You’re opening your Christmas presents next year,” you teased through his affections.

He rolled his eyes and continued kissing you. “You can just say tomorrow. That’s when you’re opening yours.”

“‘Next year’ is so much more fun though!” You exclaimed. Roger pulled back to take a breather.

“You are so beautiful.” He mused quietly. You smiled at him. “I love you so much.”

“As much as you love that car?” You couldn't help yourself. You were in too good of a mood.

Roger tickled your sides in retaliation. “Even more. Want me to prove it?” Roger challenged leaning you forward over the edge of the couch. You tightened your grip around his shoulders.

“You don’t have it in you,” you squinted your eyes back at him in faux-competition.

“We’ll see about that.”

In one swift movement, he maneuvered you off his lap and over his shoulder. Roger laughed at your noise of surprise and carried you to your bedroom.

Oh, you couldn't wait to catch up.

After quite a bit of… um, quality time together, the two of you finished prepping the dinner you had started before Roger came home. Thank goodness you had planned to make enough to have leftovers so there was a serving for him too.

You spent your evening with a certain blonde drummer never more than 4 feet away from you. When you began to plate the dinner, Roger wrapped his arms around your waist, rested his head on your shoulder, and swayed gently to an idle tune. And when you waited for the countdown, your boyfriend and you sat leaning forward on the couch excitedly waiting for midnight.

His arm was wrapped around your waist and his hand rested on your hip. 5, 4, 3, 2…

“Happy New Year!” You and Roger cheered at the same time. You turned to face him with your arms thrown up to the ceiling as you danced in place.

Roger grabbed you by the waist and pulled you toward him gently. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and smiled through it.

“Happy New Year, Roger,” you muttered through the kiss. Roger was not relenting. Even as you leaned back to pull away, he dipped you low to the ground. You fell to the ground with a thud and laughed when Roger cursed and fell on top of you.

“Got a little overzealous there, huh?” You asked.

“Yeah,” Roger breathed and twirled a piece of your hair around his finger. “And I’m going to do it again.”

Your giggles echoed through the living room.

You woke up when the sunlight tickled your lashes, peeking through the thin blinds you had haphazardly closed the night before. Your hand instinctively reached to rub your face and your nails scraped at the dry inner corners of your eyes.

It took you a moment to register that Roger had laid his head on the middle of your chest. His light hair was spread around his head and onto your arm chaotically like a wreath. You watched his side slowly rise and fall as he continued to slumber peacefully. His long lashes almost brushed his cheeks and Roger’s lips were slightly pursed and parted from sleeping on his side.

He looked beautiful. If you moved, you would wake him. One of his arms was tucked against his chest under his chin and the other was reached across your torso with his hand snugly settled in the underside of your waist, securely locking you in place. Ever so slowly you craned your neck forward, brushed a featherlight kiss onto the top of his head and leaned back to where you had been laying. Your fingertips rubbed the soft ends of his blonde hair between your fingers as if you weren’t quite sure he was really here.

Within a few seconds, Roger took in a deep breath and stirred awake. He stretched out the arm that was wrapped around your waist.

“Good morning,” you greeted groggily. Roger’s mouth immediately turned to a smile and he turned his head to look at you.

“Good morning to you too,” he responded, his voice raspy and thick with sleep. He unrolled himself from his position and laid on his side to face you. You mirrored him.

“Are you ready to open your presents?” You asked gently.

“There’s only one I want to open right now,” he smoothly hummed. Roger moved to kiss you and you turned your head away to dodge it. He dropped his jaw, offended at your movement.

“We both have morning breath, Rog,” you explained, resting your hand on his cheek. “Let’s get a little cleaned up and then we can continue this, yeah?”

Eventually the two of you made it to the living room and you divvied up the Christmas presents between you and him between long swigs of freshly brewed coffee. Roger’s pile was fairly heft due to the fact that he hadn’t been able to open them on the day he was supposed to. Having Roger home was gift enough for you though. When the space underneath the tree was empty, save for the tree skirt, he began to open them.

Roger tore open his presents. Among a jumper from his mother, a handful of socks from his sister, and a new set of drumsticks from his dad, Roger proceeded then to open the gifts from you.

The first one he opened was a box of matchbox cars with heart eyes individually hand-drawn on the windshields courtesy of you. The second one he opened was a nice pair of boots that he had been eyeing the last time the two of you went out before he left for his latest round of performances. The third and final gift you got him was a picture book with heartfelt captions that you made of the last few years you had been together. That one may have made him tear up a little bit.

Roger stood from his spot on the floor and encased you in a tight hug from your spot on the couch. “Y/n,” he whispered, “I love you so very much. Thank you for everything.” He landed a sweet kiss on your forehead then your nose, your cheek and finally your lips.

“You’re so very welcome.” You answered. Roger had been more than affectionate lately not that you were complaining.

“I have something for you too. Don’t think I forgot,” he explained. You knew he wouldn’t ever forget you; he made sure that you knew that. Roger picked the red envelope that he had placed the previous evening up off of the coffee table and handed you it. Your name was scrawled messily on the front in his handwriting. “I’m sorry I could only get you one thing.”

You worked on gently ripping open the flap of the envelope. “Roger, it doesn’t matter what you get me. I just need you.” You put your hand on his cheek and your boyfriend kissed the inside of your wrist.

“That was ridiculously corny,” he muttered, “but you’re cute so I’ll let it pass.”

You rolled your eyes as you finally unstuck the envelope flap and opened the card. It read:

‘Y/n Dearest,

I’m trying to get better at this sappy stuff. The band is convinced that the most romantic thing I’ve ever written up to this point is, well… it rhymes with “I’m in Love with my Star.” But I’m going to try anyways to top it.’

You chuckled and bumped his shoulder with yours. “I’m seriously concerned with your infatuation with automobiles.”

“Oh, just keep reading,” Roger pushed.

‘I love you. So very much. And I hate being away from you for so long when I was made to be at your side. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for missing your birthday and Christmas. For all the times you’ve been there for me, I should have been and should still be there for you. And for that I am sorry.’

“Aw, you don’t need to be sorry,” you corrected softly. “I’m proud of you. And I’m happy that you’re seeing the benefits of your hard work.”

“You’re lovely,” he whispered. “But keep on reading.”

‘As for your gift, consider this a voucher for a puppy or kitten of your choosing. If you’re going to need something to keep you company, it might as well be a friend with fluffy hair other than yours truly.

Yours truly ; )

Roger xx’

You looked up from the card in shock. You were getting a pet. Oh my God… You were getting a pet!

“I’m getting a puppy?!” You yelled excitedly. Roger laughed amusedly at your mirth.

“Or a kitten… your choice,” he answered. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at you.

“Roger, this is the best gift ever,” you pulled him close to you and began to kiss him. That’s all the two of you seemed to do since he had gotten back. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Roger responded.

You cocked your head. “For what?”

“For being the one that I love so very much.”

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor x you #borhap!roger taylor #borhap!roger #borhap!roger taylor x reader #borhap!roger x reader #borhap!roger x you #borhap!roger taylor x you #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor fluff #ben hardy!roger x reader #ben hardy! roger taylor #ben hardy!roger taylor x reader #borhap fanfic #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #fluff #domestic fluff #fluffy

150 notes · View notes

moenieandissy · 6 years

Text

excerpts from my journal: 30th june 2017

Here’s an EXTREMELY condensed recap of the events of the last week and a bit:

After failing to FT yet again, failing to reply over and over again, eventually replying but not making any sense, he blocked me. On everything. At first I thought he deleted everything and he was going to hurt himself. I was so damn worried. Given his erratic behaviour and a past of self harming. So I messaged his friend Dan to make sure he was okay. Joseph then unblocked me long enough to say he was okay, not to message his friends, and that he needed space. Then he blocked me again.

This was two days before I was meant to go visit him in Utah. And he was meant to be picking me up from the airport. And we were meant to be staying in a hotel he’d booked for us.

So I had to get another friend to pick me up from the airport, and find new places to stay, all last minute.

After arriving to Utah, he still had me blocked. And I was there with nothing to do because I had planned to spend all my time with him.

Wednesday morning I dropped a note off at his flat before I went hiking with Tane. He unblocked and texted me Thursday morning to say we should go out to eat that evening after he was done work. Then he cancelled and said to do Friday instead as he would definitely have a car then.

So Friday rolls around. I went to lunch with Meaghan, who is hilarious may I say. Then I went to campus to sort out my grad plan. Then I legged it back to my friend’s flat where I was staying to get ready. Bruh, I was looking fresh to death.

He had said he’d be done work by 5pm, then he’d go home and change and then he’d come pick me up.

Well 5pm rolled around with no word from him. 5:30pm I messaged him to say I’m by Sodalicious so I can meet him there whenever he’s ready. He sees the message. Then blocks me.

OH HELL NO BITCH

I did not spend all this money to fly out to see him, take a bunch of time off of work, spend a whole week doing FUCK ALL because he’d been having some sort of freak out wherein he suddenly decided he hated me, and spend this long getting ready to go out just to be stood up.

I march on over to his apartment and knock on the door. No answer. I wait a few minutes. Call him. Straight to voicemail.

Nuh-uh. Not acceptable. Not this time. Not again. Ima be a stubborn bitch today.

A guy walks along, “Who’re you looking for?” Joseph “British guy? Yeah he lives here” Yeah, I know, we were meant to go out but idk where he is “What’s your name? Mine’s (honestly i forgot as soon as he said it).” Issy “Where are you from?” England “Oh cool, well if you need anything I’m right next door!” Okay.... thanks...

I turn around and pace a bit. Ugh, I should just go home. But I’m so mad. I want to punch that wanker in the face. Plus I have MORE FUCK ALL TO DO TONIGHT NOW

As I’m thinking this and deciding to just leave, who comes out of his apartment? Jo-fucking-seph.

He’s surprised to see me. I’m actually taken aback to see him too since I assumed he wasn’t home.

We went inside his apartment and talked for a little while. I didn’t really know what to say since I was boiling with rage on the inside but my instinct is to believe everything he says and forgive him in an instant because for some insane reason I fucking love him.

He says he’s been cold and calloused and uncaring and unfeeling to everyone (except his family and his squad) and its nothing personal but I still have this instinctive feeling that he’s not telling me everything (or he’s fucking lying, you idiot). He wants to still be friends and hang out when I move down in August. I hope he means it.

I wish he’d never moved into those apartments and made friends with his “squad” because then he’s still talk to me and love me. Probably. Maybe. That’s so fucking selfish of me. I just want him to genuinely love and care for me again like he used to. I miss him so much. I cry all the time.

He said he might see me tomorrow. He said definitely he’d see me Sunday. He wants to be in bed by 10pm both nights though because he hasn’t been getting much sleep.

He didn’t seem to mind staying up until the early hours of the morning for his “squad”.

He doesn’t want to make plans with me for tomorrow because the “squad” is going to hang out and he doesn’t know what time they’ll be finished. And he doesn’t want me to meet them. Or for me to come to his ward. Because its somehow a pain to explain who I am and our relationship and juggle our dynamic with his “squad’s” dynamic. He just wants to have fun with his friends and not have to worry. He wants to keep me hidden.

I can’t stop crying.

He hugged me and held me so tight. More than once.

He tickled me.

He grabbed and slapped my butt.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me close to him.

He kissed my ear and neck and chest.

He touched the spot by my nose.

The special spot where he used to kiss.

He said I did actually hurt him because of my dynamic with David’s family and how close we were.

I seriously promise him that I’ll continue to be distant with them if that means he’ll come back to me.

He felt like he was the middle man. The rebound or something.

He’s not.

He’s none of those things.

He’s it.

He’s the one.

He’s my one.

He always has been.

He’ll always be my one, even when I don’t want him to be.

I wish I didn’t love him so much. I hate how weak and vulnerable I get with him. How I hand him my heart and a freshly sharpened knife every time I see or talk to him. I hate that he uses the knife. I hate that I love him despite that. I hate that he makes me crazy. He makes me do insane things and think insane thoughts.

The last time I was this crazy was with Ezra. I wasn’t even this crazy with Ezra.

Is it a sign from the universe that Joseph told me he wants to take on a new identity with the name Ezra? That he went and lived in the same apartments as Ezra. Out of all the thousands of places he could have lived.

He’s going to hurt me and break my heart again. And again.

And I’m going to let him.

I’m going to thank him for it.

For letting me know him and love him, even if it kills me.

It just might kill me.

It just might.

#issyks #joeshilly #journal

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kpopfanfictrash · 7 years

Text

Control

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Mark

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 4,448

Summary: On a night out with your friends, you accidentally text the wrong number for advice. The guy on the other end of the phone is abrupt, harsh and kind of an ass - but he also happens to be right. Which explains why you keep texting him. Right?

“537. 555. 2469.”

Finishing typing the digits into your phone, you look up. “Got it. Still can’t believe you dropped your phone in the toilet.”

“Yeah, well.” Jen frowns, leaning into the mirror. “Don’t keep your phone in your back pocket.”

“Life lessons from Jen,” you deadpan, sliding your straightener over your hair. Bumping your roommate in the hip, you grin. “But really. That burner phone looks terrible.”

“What, this red Envy from my high school days? Top line technology, Y/N.”

“Obviously.”

“I can type AND flip it open. How many phones do you know that can do that?”

“Zero. Actually zero.”

Jennifer gives her hair a final fluff before facing you. “Just two more days until my new phone ships.”

“Thank god. So how do I look?”

Jen eyes you up and down. “Stunning. Ravishing. The boys will be eating out of your hand.”

You laugh as you straighten your top. “Too much, even for you,” you scold, leaving the bathroom as Jen’s laughter follows you down the hall.

You and Jen have been friends since college, ever since you spilled your drink at a bar and Jen was there to pull you aside, insisting some random guy pushed you. After that you were inseparable, even after college it was the same – except now you’re roommates, living out your struggles while simultaneously navigating the waters of early twenties-dom.

Today is Friday and after a long work week you’re finally ready to let loose. Or at least, Jen is. You’re the one being dragged along, despite your ardent desire to stay in and watch West World with a bottle of wine.

This, however was deemed by Jen as ‘anti-social.’

So here you are, dressed in your heels and a tight skirt. Ready to take the town by storm. Or at least Blackbird – the club you’ve settled on for the night. As you enter you scan the crowd, shoving your nervous butterflies into the pit of your stomach.

Jake is supposed to be here tonight. Jake - the incredibly attractive and incredibly elusive boy you’ve been seeing.

Well, seeing is a strong word.

You two went on one date and it’s been days since you’ve heard from him. As you reach the bar you pull out his last message, hoping to decipher something between the vaguely worded texts you’ve yet to see.

Y/N: Hey! I had fun last night. Let me know if you want to do it again sometime. [11:50 AM]

Jake: Hey, me too. Would love to see you again, let’s talk later this week about details? [12:10 PM]

You: Great :) [12:12 PM]

Two days later.

You: Hey :) [2:01 PM]

Re-reading your text, you cringe at the double smiley. Just like you did Tuesday, moments after sending it. The next text is a little more heart-lifting.

Jake: Hey [2:29 PM]

You: So there’s an art exhibit this weekend I think you’d enjoy. Want to come with me? [2:31 PM]

Jake: I already have plans this weekend. But rain check? [2:55 PM]

No response from you after that. Even with a guy as cute as Jake, you can take the hint. But then he texted earlier, wanting to know what your plans were for tonight.

Jake: Hey, Y/N. I told friends I’d meet them later but was hoping to see you too. Any chance you’ll be at Blackbird tonight? [4:05 PM]

You: I think I could be persuaded. See you there [4:08 PM]

So now you hold your phone in one hand, scanning the bar for his familiar face. Dark brown hair, killer green eyes. A combination designed to scramble thoughts. Smart, too. Jake owns his own consulting business while somehow managing to keep up charity work on the weekends. That’s right, charity work - mostly at the local children’s hospital.

And there he is now.

Your heart flutters, only to stutter when you realize he’s not alone. The girl’s back is towards you, so you can’t see what she looks like but if her legs are anything to go off of, she’s gorgeous. Jake leans in close - too close to be just friends.

All of a sudden the space inside this club seems very small. The room is too hot and you don’t know where to look. You end up slipping your hand in Jen’s, pleased when she tugs you towards the bar.

“Come on,” Jen sniffs, having seen the whole exchange as she glares in Jake’s direction. “Let’s go get you a shot.”

Five tequila shots later, the room spins in a peachy fuzz of alcohol. Better than focusing on Jake, at least and you head onto the dance floor, swaying your hips and trying to pretend that you’ve forgotten all about what’s-his-face.

A hand taps you on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” You turn, freezing when you come face to face with tousled hair and a mega-watt smile.

Jake stands right before you. “I’ve been searching for you.”

“Not very hard, it seems.” Frowning, you turn to leave as his hand closes around your upper wrist. “Hey!” you gasp, yanking your arm free.

Jake lets you go, holding up both hands. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, gaze roaming your face. “I wish I could be at that art exhibit tomorrow.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you say, even though it does.

Jake touches your hand, fingers soft against your skin and you suddenly are having a hard time staying mad.

“It does matter,” he says solemnly. “I really am sorry – I just have to be at the hospital first thing in the morning.”

You turn towards him. Maybe if you were less drunk, you’d realize that this doesn’t make a lot of sense. If Jake has to be at the hospital first thing in the morning, why is he at a club in Midtown past midnight? But you’re not thinking too clearly right now, and his excuse is just enough to appease your anger.

“Oh,” you say, the word coming out small.

Jake steps closer. “I feel I should stay longer,” he muses. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen these friends. But I was wondering… Nah, never mind.”

“What?” you ask, leaning in.

Jake shakes his head. “I was just wondering if you wanted to get a cup of coffee tonight? I know it’s late and a bit crazy, but…” He trails off, unsure.

Blinking up at him, you nod. “I’d like that.”

“Great.” He smiles down at you. “Well, I’m going to go back to my friends. But I’ll come over in a bit, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Slightly dazed from the conversation, you watch him go. Sliding in and out of dancers until he disappears from view.

Your head spins from both the conversation and your alcohol and once Jake is out of sight, the music seems to surge around you. The bodies of dancers swallowing you until suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Closing both eyes, you push towards the edge of the dance floor.

You need Jen. She’ll be able to tell you what to do because right now, the whole club is spinning and it’s probably not a good idea to go home with anyone.

But Jake isn’t just anyone.

You scan the floor. No Jen. Fingers fumbling, you pull out your phone, scrolling through contacts for her burner number.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” you grumble, facing away from the noise. Jen doesn’t answer though – unable to hear over the sound of the club. Defeated, you pull back your phone and type instead.

Y/N: So Jake found me. [12:03 AM]

You pause, thinking about what to say..

Y/N: He said he’s sorry for msising the art thing but wants to get coffee. I’m kind of drunk so idk?? I knw he blew me off but it was bc of that thing at the children’s hospital : / and he seems like he actualy wants to see me … idk what do I do HELP [12:05 AM]

You press send.

A response doesn’t come right away so you wait. Continuing to search the dance floor for Jen’s signature curly hair. Until your phone chimes in your hand.

555-8924: I think you have the wrong number. [12:07 AM]

Fuck. Scowling down at the still-blinking ellipses, your face heats up. Jen must have put in the wrong number – now how are you going to find her? Also - how wildly embarrassing. You just rambled on like a drunken moron to a total stranger.

Your phone chimes again.

555-8924: But seeing as I’m awake and feeling particularly generous – one hundred percent no, you should not get coffee with him. Are you insane? [12:08 AM]

You stare back at the response, black and white, and a tiny bubble of anger appears in your stomach. You type, fingers flying over the keyboard since you’re too drunk to care how you come across.

Y/N: Oh, really? What makes you – a cmplete stranger – think u know me? [12:10 AM]

555-8924: Lol. I know you. [12:11 AM]

You bristle when his or her ellipses continue to pulse. Ding.

555-8924: But more importantly I know him. I’m a guy. And I can recognize a tragic situation when I see one. [12:12 AM]

You gasp, past caring if anyone hears.

Y/N: Tragic? Well, fuck you. [12:13 AM]

He doesn’t respond. You collapse into the closest booth, staring down at your screen until your anger fades and eventually, your curiosity gets the best of you.

Y/N: But … say I did value your opinion. Why shouldn’t I get coffee with him? [12:14 AM]

When the ellipses re-appear, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

555-8924: Well. First off – a children’s hospital? Sounds too good to be true. Second. Coffee after midnight? There’s only one thing that guy wants and it’s not coffee. [12:16 AM]

You blush, almost missing his next text.

555-8924: And three – you said so yourself, this guy blew you off. Why would you give him the opportunity to do it again? [12:16 AM]

You stare at your phone. He’s right. Whomever he is, he’s right. Jake is just trying to hook up. And… as much as you want that, you also want more. Which doesn’t seem to be the case for him.

Y/N: I hate to admit, seing as you’re a dick and all but you have a point. [12:17 AM]

555-8924: Hahaha [12:18 AM]

The guy texts back laughter, typing each ha. It makes you grin, chuckling when your phone dings again.

555-8924: Okay, maybe I was being harsh. [12:19 AM]

Y/N: Harsh is the Sahara. Harsh is the Amazon rain forest. Calling a girl tragic on a Friday night is nothing short of savage. [12:20 AM]

555-8924: You’re right, who am I to judge? You’re probably not tragic. Just hopelessly naïve [12:21 AM]

Y/N: Well, you’re too cynical! [12:21 AM]

Oh, crap. What are you doing? Wincing, you set your phone in your lap. This guy isn’t going to respond. He definitely won’t respond. He – ding.

555-8924: How did you know what my friends call me? Birth name Mark, ‘Cynical’ for those in the know. [12:23 AM]

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard.

Y/N: Hi, Mark. I’m Y/N. Thanks for talking to me. [12:25 AM]

There’s a long pause before your phone dings again.

555-8924: Pleasure’s all mine. [12:27 AM]

“Y/N!”

Your gaze shoots up, happy to see Jen pushing through the crowd of people. When she reaches your side she sits, smelling of sweat and perfume.

“Are you ready to go?” she asks. “This place is one spilled drink away from Hot Mess central, destination: Not Good.”

Laughing, you push yourself to stand. “I’m ready.” You slip your purse over your shoulder, wobbling just a little bit. “I’ll call an Uber?”

Jen nods, looping her hand in yours. “Did I see you talking to Jake earlier?”

“Ugh,” you groan, rolling your eyes. “He wanted to get coffee later tonight.”

“Oh, really?” Jen laughs. “Translation: BOOTY CALL.”

You flush, remembering Mark’s similar assessment. “Yeah, that’s what I figured. I’m not going.”

“Of course not.” Jen squeezes your arm. “You’re worth so much more, sweetie. He’ll realize that soon.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

As you leave, you glance over your shoulder. Without really meaning to, you find Jake’s gaze. His face lights up, mouth opening until he notices your purse on your shoulder. His gaze darkens, falling when you slowly shake your head.

And then you leave, disappearing out the door. Feeling oddly lighter than when you entered.

The next morning you wake to a banner headache. Groaning, you clutch your comforter tighter and squint at the clock on your nightstand.

9:04 am.

You can sleep for a while longer. Rolling over, you nestle into your blankets and … remember last night. Your eyes shoot open. All the memories of the club come crashing down as you groan.

You almost went home with Jake. The memory of that stupid pick-up line hits you like a ton of bricks.

“If you wanted to get a cup of coffee? I know it’s late and a little crazy, but…”

Thank god you didn’t go.

You sit up, hastily grabbing your phone to scroll through your texts. Your heart hammers when you see them - when you remember your virtual love doctor. Wincing at all the spelling errors, you groan out loud. Falling back and clsoing your eyes when you read the part about telling Mark to go fuck himself.

That’s his name – Mark.

After simmering in embarrassment for several minutes, you decide to send him an apology. He seems nice and you were being drunk and incoherent. The least you can do is apologize.

After several minutes of typing, you have the following:

Y/N: Hi, Mark. This is Y/N from last night. I woke up to these texts and wanted to say sorry. I’m normally not that drunk. Or rude. The naïveté still stands though, so thanks for calling me out on that. Anyways, you don’t have to respond to this but I wanted to apologize now that I’m sober. [9:10 AM]

You press send, setting your phone back on your table and flopping onto your pillows. Mark probably won’t respond. Why would he, after last night?

Ding.

Mark: Hi, Y/N from last night. Don’t worry about it – you were the most entertainment I’ve had in a while. [9:13 AM]

You sit up, slowly typing back your response.

Y/N: Glad to hear my dating woes amuse you. Got any advice for a continually tragic case such as myself? [9:15 AM]

Mark: Well first off, don’t tell him that.[9:16 AM]

Y/N: Noted. [9:16 AM]

Mark: Second, play hard to get. Did you talk to him before leaving last night? [9:17 AM]

You remember looking at Jake - but you left without a word.

Y/N: No. We made eye contact but I didn’t say anything – I just left. [9:18 AM]

Mark: Haha good. He’ll probably text today, wondering why you didn’t go home with him. [9:19 AM]

You almost laugh – like it’s that easy.

Y/N: Riiight. [9:20 AM]

Y/N: I’ll be sure to let you know when that happens. Don’t hold your breath. [9:21 AM]

Mark: I’m just saying. Guys can be dicks but we’re predictable dicks. We want what we can’t have. [9:22 AM]

Y/N: How pessimistic of you. Who died and made you love doctor? [9:23 AM]

Mark: You did, when you asked me for advice.[9:24 AM]

Snorting, you tap your fingers against your legs. He’s right.

Y/N: Fine. I’ll let you know when Jake comes banging on my door. [9:25 AM]

Mark: Good. I actually have to go – work – but keep me updated, Y/N. Cynical might be my middle name, but I’m a sucker for a happy ending. [9:27 AM]

You throw your phone back on your comforter and sigh, stretching your arms overhead. For some reason there’s a smile on your face when you get up out of bed.

Around 6:00 your phone dings.

Jake.

Your eyes move to the previous thread – re-reading Mark’s smug assurance that Jake would text before the day was up. How the hell did he know? You open Jake’s text, eyebrows rising when you see a photo of him crouched beside a girl in a hospital bed. Jake is holding a picture book and smiling ear to ear.

Jake: Hey, Y/N! Sorry if I came on too strong last night. I realized this morning that I was out of line and wanted apologize. This is Melissa, we’re reading Clifford the Big Red Dog (see? I really did have charity work). Anyways. All of this is a rather long way of asking if we could set a time for that second date of ours? [6:03 PM]

You stare at his words. Without really knowing why, you find yourself texting Mark.

Y/N: You’re not going to believe who just texted me. [6:05 PM]

The phone dings almost immediately.

Mark: Let me guess. Coffee jackass? [6:06 PM]

Laughing, you bite your lip to keep from grinning.

You screenshot Jake’s message and picture, sending both to Mark.

Y/N: Bingo. What should I say? [6:07 PM]

There’s a long pause, and you’re about to message him again when your phone dings.

Mark: Do you like this guy, Y/N? [6:09 PM]

His question gives you pause. Jake is kind, nice and smart. Maybe not the easiest to read and he doesn’t always get your sense of humor – but then, who’s perfect?

Y/N: Yes. [6:10 PM]

Mark: Okay. Then respond, but keep it casual. Let him know you’re interested but don’t be the one to set the time and place. Make sure you stay in control. [6:13 PM]

You nod. Stay in control. You can do that.

Y/N: A date? What did you have in mind? [6:14 PM]

Jake: Dinner. The two of us. Next Friday night. [6:15 PM]

Your eyebrows shoot up.

You: It’s a date. [6:17 PM]

Hardly able to believe your luck, you fingers fly to Mark.

Y/N: We’re going to dinner next Friday. Can you believe? Thank you!! [6:18 PM]

Mark’s response is slower this time.

Mark: You’re welcome. Have a good time, Y/N [6:20 PM]

You set down your phone, glancing at your kitchen as you rub your eyes. Looking around, you realize that Jake has never been inside your apartment. When you two went out last time, he picked you up outside. Texted he was here and waited in the driveway.

He didn’t even come to the door, now that you think of it. Had the situation been reversed, you would have wanted to see his house. You would have wanted to know about his life.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re typing another message.

Y/N: So Mark. Just out of curiosity, let’s say you were going on a date. Let’s say you picked her up at her house. How would you let her know you were there? [6:25 PM]

Mark: Huh? [6:27 PM]

Y/N: Like, would you honk the horn? Give her a call? Throw a rock at her window? [6:28 PM]

Mark: Haha I would go to her door. Maybe I’m nosy, but I think a person’s house says a lot about them. [6:29 PM]

A tingle trails the base of your spine.

Y/N: Really? How so? [6:30 PM]

It’s a long minute before your phone dings again.

Mark: I don’t know, a lot of ways. Take me, okay? My home is spotless but that’s only because I work a lot. I spend most of my nights here at the fire station, sleeping in bunk beds. [6:32 PM]

Your eyebrows rise. That wasn’t the profession you would have guessed.

Y/N: So that explains why you were up at one in the morning, answering my drunk texts. [6:34 PM]

Mark: Exactly. I’m a firefighter with a hero complex. Show me a basket case about to go home with a jerk and I’ll send you sassy texts, filled with vaguely disparaging remarks about how you’re better than that. [6:36 PM]

You laugh out loud, just as Jen enters the kitchen. Her gaze flickers to the phone in your hand.

“Oo, did Jake finally text back?”

A flush stains your cheeks. “Uh, yeah. He did.”

Jumping up, Jen claps her hands together. “That’s so exciting! Are you two going out?” She starts to open up kitchen cabinets, pulling down a can of soup and a bowl.

“Yeah, next Friday night.”

Jen turns, fixing you with an oddly critical stare. “You don’t seem that excited about it.”

“I am!” you protest, smiling to hide your confusion. “I just – I’m hungover still.”

Jen makes a whoops face. “Oh, shit. I guess for future reference – five tequila shots are too many for you.”

As you slide your cell phone into your pocket, you laugh. “Five tequila shots are too many for any human, not just me, Jen.”

You’re not sure why you don’t tell Jen about Mark.

That night you’re lying in bed, trying to decide what to wear on Friday when - ding.

Mark: So you never told me what you do for a living. [10:11 PM]

Your stomach flutters. Mark.

Y/N: Marketing. Product testing for a local company. Nothing quite as gallant as fire-fighting. [10:12 PM]

Mark: Ah, yes. I often feel so gallant putting on canvas colored overalls. The sexiest though, is when sweat just pours down my face and pools in my jacket. That’s the pinnacle. [10:14 PM]

Y/N: Hot. [10:14 PM]

Mark: *Groans* I hope you didn’t mean that as a pun. [10:15 PM]

You laugh, surprised he understood.

Y/N:… shh, you don’t know me [10:16 PM]

Mark: Apparently I do. But actually I’ve always found marketing interesting. The concept is very psychological. [10:17 PM]

Y/N: Ding, ding, ding! I was, indeed a Psych major in college. [10:18 PM]

Mark: Let’s play a game, then. [10:19 PM]

Y/N: What kind of game? [10:20 PM]

Mark: I want to guess what your apartment looks like based on your profession. [10:21 PM]

You laugh, quieting as your gaze moves to the hall. You don’t want to wake up Jen up. Texting back, you grin.

Y/N: Go on. [10:22 PM]

Mark: You have plants. [10:22 PM]

Y/N: Well, that’s not hard. Most people have plants. [10:23 PM]

Mark: I don’t. [10:24 PM]

Y/N: Most people with hearts have plants. [10:24 PM]

Mark: Ouch. You wound me. Y/N. You also have Christmas lights wrapped someplace they shouldn’t be even though Christmas is long gone. [10:25 PM]

You blush remembering the plant you and Jen have strung with twinkling white lights. It’s left in your kitchen year-round as a sort of night light.

Y/N: Okay, I’ll give you that one. [10:26 PM]

Mark: You have too many pillows and blankets. Enough that were we so inclined, we could make a blanket fort. [10:27 PM]

For some reason, Mark’s use of the word we makes your heart pound. This is silly, you think. Setting your phone down to rub at your temples. You don’t know Mark. You don’t know what he looks like. He could be old or balding or have a giant, hook nose.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re typing again.

Y/N: How old are you? [10:29 PM]

Mark’s ellipses blink. Pause. Blink again.

Mark: Is this because of the blanket fort thing? I’m twenty five. You? [10:30 PM]

Y/N: Twenty four. [10:31 PM]

Mark: Okay, so now that we’ve established we’re both in our mid-twenties, will you please confirm or deny the blankets thing. [10:32 PM]

You laugh out loud, realizing that this is the most you’ve laughed in a while. Especially over a guy.

Y/N: You’re right. Screw the fort, I have enough blankets to make a whole house. [10:33 PM]

As your phone chimes, you settle down into your sheets. Somehow between one comment and the next, you don’t end up falling asleep until much, much later that night.

“So you and this guy have just been … texting?” Jen sounds skeptical.

Fighting back your blush, you take a long sip of your drink. “Yeah. I mean, it’s no big deal.”

Her eyebrows shoot higher. “If it’s not a big deal, why haven’t you told Jake?”

She has a point. It’s been three weeks since your second date with Jake and now you’re ‘officially dating.’ His words, not yours. You still haven’t quite forgotten Mark’s original advice:

Make sure you stay in control.

Still, you shift beneath Jen’s gaze. “It’s just … the timing has never been great.”

“In three weeks?” Jen laughs. “I don’t know, Y/N. When is the right time to say, hey you only started dating me because this guy told me what to do. Oh, and we still talk every day. Every night. Literally all the time. But hey! No big deal.”

Your cheeks are crimson. “It’s not every day,” you grumble.

Jen grabs your phone, swiping right to punch in your code before you can protest. “Aha!”

“I never should have told you my password,” you sigh, sinking into your seat.

“One new message from Mark!” Jen exclaims, clearing her throat. “Jackson brought home a blanket and I blame you. Why? Because I told him you had enough for a fort and now he’s concerned our apartment isn’t inviting enough. He’s now trying to make our place ‘livable.’ Please send help.”

Jen arches her eyebrows over the top of your phone.

“Give me that,” you say, snatching your phone from her hand.

“He sounds cute.” Jen’s mouth curves upwards. “Is he cute?”

“I don’t know,” you say stiffly, shoving you phone in your pocket.

“Oh, please.” Jen pushes her hair back. “You’re telling me you’ve been texting this guy for weeks and have yet to find out what he looks like?”

Sinking even further into your chair, you mumble, “I decided I don’t want to know.”

Jen stares at you like you’re crazy. “Why not?”

“I don’t want to get too involved”

“Too involved?” Her eyes widen. “I got news, honey. This is the definition of involved. You talk to Mark more than you do to your boyfriend, Jake. Oh – did you forget about him?”

“Jake and I just started dating,” you explain, not quite able to meet her gaze. “It’s not like we’re married or something.”

“Right.” Jen’s expression softens. “I get it – Mark is sweet and funny and interesting. But he’s a phantom, babe. Someone who only exists on paper. If you met in real life, it would be just as awkward and unsure as any other guy. Like Jake.”

“What?” Your gaze shoots to hers. “I like Jake!”

“You do. But not enough to stop texting Mark.”

This shuts you up and you lean back, considering. Groaning, when you bury your face in your arms. “Oh, god,” you moan. “You’re right. What’s wrong with me? Jake is gorgeous and I’ve wanted him since forever. Why can’t I just be happy?”

“Beats me.”

When you swat at Jen, she laughs.

“Okay,” you say, sitting up straight. “I’ll stop texting Mark. Focus on Jake.”

“Good.” A small, but evil grin spreads across Jen’s face. “And I’ll just … find out what Mark looks like because it’s literally killing me.”

“Jen!” You protest, grabbing for her hand but she’s too fast. Jen is already typing, searching through Google.

“He has our area code,” she muses. “So he must be a local fire fighter.” Your best friend squints at her phone, smacking your hand when you reach across the table.

“Jen.” Giving up, you sink down into your arms again. “I don’t want to know.”

Until she utters a soft swear. “Holy shit.”

“What?” you say, concerned as you peep through your fingertips. “What is it?”

Wordlessly, Jen turns her phone around. “Why are you the fucking luckiest girl on earth?”

Your mouth drops.

[Master List]

Author’s Note: 500 notes! Thank you so, so much for reading. Please enjoy parts II and III at the Master List above.

#mark tuan #got7 mark #mark got7 #got7 fanfic #mark tuan fanfic #got7 mark fanfic #mark tuan fic #got7 fic #got7 mark fic #Control #mark tuan fluff #mark tuan angst #got7 mark fluff #got7 mark angst

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canaryatlaw · 7 years

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Alright, so today was overall pretty good. Alarm went off at 8 am and I didn’t want to get up, but of course I knew I had to. So I got up and finished getting my stuff together (like putting the rest of my toiletries I needed to use in the morning into my bag) and soon enough the car was here and I was off to the airport (we’re not like, fancy or anything, my parents just hate driving to and from airports and happen to be very good friends with a guy who runs a limo company). Ride was a little slow with traffic, but we got into the actual terminal very quickly, which was a godsend because that can be such a nightmare. I was flying out of the super tiny “delta shuttle” terminal that has a total of like, 6 gates, and is in just about every way better than the other terminals. I got checked in right away, I got through security right away, no line for either. I was planning on grabbing a breakfast sandwich from mcdonalds or something, but they just had a snacks shop and a little counter service place that served food, and I had some time to spare so I ended up getting french toast from there (partially because the prices were ridiculously inflated and that was actually cheaper than the breakfast sandwich I would’ve wanted). The flight ended up being like ten minutes behind schedule, but we still got off the ground fairly quickly. I looked at the airline magazine as I always do for their sudoku/kenken puzzles, and then became very frustrated when I had filled in all but 4 squares in the “hard” kenken puzzle and there was *clearly* an error in the game because my answers were right, dammit. I’m petty enough that I actually wrote in the magazine “these answers are right, this puzzle is wrong” so the potential next person would know I didn't just fuck up the puzzle, lol. I completed the easy kenken in a total of like 1 minute, then did the hard sudoku, but got bored and gave up on the easy sudoku. I then pulled up the video I had downloaded for the child defender fellowship thing I’m doing and watched that session, since I’m in class for when they do them live, so that was good, and took about an hour. After that I read Captain Canary fanfiction for the remainder of the flight, which thankfully wasn’t that long and we got in right around 1. I got my bag easily enough and actually got an uber within like two minutes (it’s usually this big process where you have to request them and then they can come from where they're waiting in a special parking area that takes them like 11 minutes to get to you and that’s super annoying. Got home right at 2, did some basic cleaning and laundry for a while just so my room isn’t in a total state of disarray (there’s at least some semblance of order at this point). Then I could’ve done some of the work for my classes that I’ve been blowing off, but instead decided to watch last week’s Arrow episode but I wanted to know what happened lol. It was an okay episode I guess, nothing really special to it. Idk how I feel about the whole Diggle being GA now, and it tempts my suspension of disbelief that pretty much anybody wouldn’t be able to tell it’s a different person. The new dynamic with the team is kind of meh to me honestly, and I didn’t find the villain particularly interesting. Can we have Black Siren back now, please? so yeah. finished that and left for class, which was colder than I anticipated, which was very unfortunate but I survived. Class was good, I like my professor so much, she’s just this awesome legal aid lawyer who’s like “I’ve been around long enough that I see right through your bullshit and I’m just gonna tell it like it is” and I appreciate that lol. There was some amusement when it was discovered the opinion she wanted us to read was actually a short 2012 decision, not the final 2016 decision on that case, which was significantly longer. It was pretty amusing really. But yeah, overall good class. Came home, again, way too cold, and started watching Supergirl. I actually really liked tonight’s episode. I feel like it was very well done on all levels, the storylines worked very well together and I love Sam getting integrated with their friend group (even if I know it’s only gonna lead to angst down the road). I just like Sam so much as a character, lol. I liked the religion plot a lot though, and Kara kind of realizing how much this meant to her and how she’s been away from it for so long. The end season with Ruby singing (minor side note, I appreciate that they made her a pretty, age appropriate singer, not an incredibly prodigy or something. it makes it all feel that much more realistic, to be proud of your daughter even when she’s not a superstar in the making) which turned into Alex breaking down about Maggie was pretty rough, and since we know where this is going it really just makes it that much worse. Next week is gonna be a rough episode for sure, but hey, it happens, But yeah, overall I really liked the episode and thought it was very well done on all sides. After that I basically started getting ready for bed and ready tomorrow, which concludes my day, though I have a few more reflections from my trip I’d like to share. I think it helped me a lot to see my sister in person and to see she is physically okay, because I hadn’t seen her since these problems have come to light and I was just so scared for her. Of course she won’t talk to me about it, which I can’t blame her for, I definitely didn't want to discuss it with my parents when I was her age and in that position (and no I’m not her parent, but I serve as a kind of quasi-parent sometimes). So there’s that. The other thing was when I was talking to my dad on the phone when I was walking to class, and he was talking about traveling back and forth between NY and Chi, and he said “well, it’s only one more semester” which is obviously inferring that he’s operating on the premise that I am definitely coming back to NY after graduation, but I remain....conflicted on the matter. As I’ve said before, I have a tendency to romanticize being home when I'm not there, but when I actually am there it’s not like that, and this trip was no exception. I don’t want to hurt my parents, but I also don’t want to end up in a job that I have no interest in and doesn't allow me to pursue the goals I’d like to achieve with my life. I think getting a job with a nonprofit in NYC would be ideal, because I would be close enough to see them frequently, but also far enough away from that environment that is not always healthy for me to be in, and hopefully actually doing the work I want, working for a nonprofit and not for the government. Pretty much all of the Long Island options are government positions, which I’m not crazy about. Oh well. Anyway, I’m done now so I’m gonna go to sleep. Goodnight my peeps. Hope you had a rockin’ Monday.

#daily journal #October 2017

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brookesayshai · 7 years

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Tag for @mineking2435

tcorny1: Do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you? Lots a blankets 2: Personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies? ghosts r cool 3: If faced with the opportunity, would you ever kill a criminal whom you don’t know if it meant you could get anything you want in return? (Keep in mind you do not/can not know what said criminal has done to become a criminal until after you’ve made your decision) nope 4: The funniest nickname you can come up with for __Batman Jesus The Rapist_________ ? (throwback) 5: What type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing? realism 6: You’ve been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. How would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (Eggs, litters, etc) same as it is bc fuck change 7: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced, may it be just reading about it or experiencing it in the flesh? uh, discovering this site 8: You can choose any world to go to from any book, movie, video, fanficion, etc, and the option to become the main character. Where would you go, and would you be involved in the main story, or just watching on the sidelines? fallout and both bc i can 9: What is one thing in this world you would get rid of if you knew it’d be erased from the entire history of the human race? the emoji movie 10: Describe ____life_______ in your own words. 69 69 11: You’re in hell! One song is playing on repeat for eternity. What song it it? Oh Ms Beleiver

12: You get to create a entirely new species. Describe the name of them and what they look like. purple firaffe w/ monkey head

13: You’re now allergic to EVERY animal except for one. Which animal is it? Rat 14: What’s on your mind right now? him 15: Try and describe your closest friend in the silliest way possible. corny 16: You can stop doing one of the following– Eating, Using the restroom, Sleeping– without any consequences. What do you choose? using rr 17: You have to live on a world famous landmark for the rest of your life. Which landmark would you live on/in? idk 18: You can babysit 6 extremely poilte and kind kids for not very much money or one extremely rude and disrespectful child for a high amount of money for a week. Which do you choose? either or 19: You have to use one word in every sentence for the rest of your life. What word is it? fuck 20: Go on a vacation forever or never leave your home town? im fine w/ hometown 21: What would your character be described as in an upcoming anime? cynical beeotch 22: You get to redesign the whitehouse. Describe how your fabulous revisions would make it look? a maze garden 23: You’re now inhabiting the body of the last person you talked to. Who is it, how how weirder out are you? @mineking2435 24: Add a letter to the alphabet! What’s its name and what does it look like? bers (idfk) 25: Weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how? Foot i think 26: Every mosquito drops dead and they are never found again or every wasp? waspsss 27: Fear you had when you were little that you grew out of? dark 28: The ability to make everyone listen to you when you want to say something or have no one notice you when you don’t want them to? 2 29: What’s your favorite meme? the dank ones 30: Best surprise you’ve ever gotten? him :))) 31: Do you no longer listen to a song because it reminds you of someone you don’t talk to anymore? kinda, yeah 32: Write a full paragraph about yourself without being negative (or just a sentence if you don’t want to write a full paragraph!) I would say something and than, but it doesnt matter or its not important or not that i care 33: Describe the most attractive person you’ve ever seen without mentioning their name. Himmmmm mmmm damn 34: Upload your all time favorite picture! cant pic, we’re just too cute together 35: You wake up tomorrow and end up having NO responsibilities to do, including work, school, cleaning, projects– Nothing!– As well as full access to an endless supply of money for an entire week. How do you spend it? being lazy as usaual 36: Write a plot for a TV show that you would most definitely watch. Drama, romance, action, comedy XD 37: If you had to choose between only wearing shorts and long sleeves or pants and a tank top for all of winter, what would you choose? (No coats allowed or other garments under or over the shorts or pants!) What about my bra? 38: One thing you’d love to wake up to? him every morning 39: You can choose to learn one talent to master or choose many talents that you’re somewhat okay at. Which do you choose? many ok talents 40: Favorite quote/saying? “Goodnight, sleeptight, don’t let the bedbugs crawl into your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself” - Tyler Joeseph 41: You say one sentence to go down in history and be remembered years after you pass, even centuries into the future. What’s the sentence? Im a god damn mother fucking fishstick, you got dat or naw 42: Favorite video you’ve ever watched? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAvxLESWJG8 (bc of the one phrase) 43: Type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight. I will, uh cry myself to sleep (emo phase so yeah) 44: You’re a baby with a very deep voice. What would you say to startle everyone in the room with your very deep baby voice? CHEESY FRIES MOTHER FUCKER 45: Funniest joke you’ve ever heard? my life 46: Ever pulled a prank, and if you did– What was it? I told my sister when she got her first period, if she farts blood will go everywhere and her friends joined in on it 47: You can be a human with fur or a dog with hair. Which do you choose? human with fur 48: In your own opinion, the weirdest advertisement you’ve seen? old spice i guess bc its too wak 49: Did you answer honestly to these questions? yes 50: Your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. For an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. What color do you choose?

tyedye idfk

Heres some more @mineking2435

When you are old, what do you think children will ask you to tell stories about?

If you could switch two movie characters, what switch would lead to the most inappropriate movies?

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?

What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?

When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?

What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

How would your country change if everyone, regardless of age, could vote?

#Tagss

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