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kgyeomiex · 4 months

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Distraction (M)

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking towards me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

JYP has announced a new girl group in the company and you happened to be one of the members. The moment you signed in, that was the moment you were hoping to just focus on music and your career, but something gets in the way. A massive love triangle is what causes a bumpy road for you and your future.

Previous Parts:

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 //

Part 9 is here~

Masterlist

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Regardless of what you say, you will always get distracted by these boys. Jaebum and Mark tend to show up out of nowhere when you try your hardest to focus on your music...

A normal person would stand by their group and show their devotion and full attention to the music however in your case it’s different...

“Y/N, I was hoping I would bump into you,” Mark says, smiling right at you.

Right now, your brain was telling you to get away and focus on the big day but for some reason, your feet weren't moving.

“M-mark, what’s up?” Why did you just stutter... Great not only is your body ignoring your command, but now you can’t even speak to the boy.

“I don’t know if you’re busy, but I was wondering if you maybe wanted to get lunch with me... Just me,” Mark wanted to go eat with you? How on earth can you say no to that?

Even though you knew you should reject his kind gesture you just spoke without really thinking about your answer.

“Sure,” as soon as you said that you realized what you said, and you tried your hardest to smile instead of showing your shocked face.

Shit...

“Perfect... I just need to return this to Yugyeom but if you’d like you can meet me in the front,” Mark suggests, and instead of saying anything you nodded your head and continued to smile.

Okay clearly speaking wasn’t helping you out... Instead, it was making things more complicated for you.

“Great, I’ll see you soon,” Mark smiles and takes off.

Instead of even moving you stood there frozen trying to figure out what your plan was... Just a second ago you were talking about devoting all your attention to your career and not on boys. Crazy how your mindset was so quick to change...

Okay... Look at the situation this way. Mark and you were probably just going to eat and then from there split off in your directions.

Hopefully after spending some time with Mark, you can then focus on your music and less on boys....

Yeah... That sounds like a good idea. Will it work? To be honest I have no idea, but a girl can hope and dream.

“Jackson did what?” You couldn't help but laugh as Mark was trying to explain how Jackson ended up kissing Jaebum on the lips.

“It was by accident though... Just know that in interviews they will make you do unexpected things like where you have to pass papers around to other members by only using your lips...” You’ve always seen other idols do that and to be honest you always wanted to try it but at the same time no...

“Have you had an incident where you accidentally kissed one of your members?” You asked Mark as you reached in for your drink. He silently thought to himself and then looked at you.

“Okay maybe once or twice... But the whole purpose of the game is to prevent the paper from falling... The paper that these people write is horrible material and always ends up falling at the end,” you smiled, and then a question popped into your head.

“So, Mark tells me, who’s a better kisser?” You asked Mark teasing him and he laughed.

“It’s not like that,” the two of you suddenly began to laugh.

“Even if I did accidentally kiss one of the boys, I didn’t enjoy any of them,” Mark defended himself and you just smiled.

“Sure...”

Sitting in front of Mark and having lunch with him wasn’t bad. The two of you were just spending time with one another and laughing, you know what friends do.

“Hey Y/N... I know this is random, but I have a question,” Mark says, and before you could answer you grabbed a napkin and wiped your mouth before replying.

“What’s up?” You asked as soon as you finished chewing.

“I know I probably shouldn't ask a question like this, but I can’t help but be curious...” At first, you were confused. What kind of question was Mark planning to ask you but then you had an idea... It’s probably going to involve what happened back at the studio when you were being put on the spot in front of everyone.

“Ask away,” you had an idea of what this question was going to be, and even though you weren’t ready to answer you had to face it eventually.

“Do Jaebum and you possibly have a secret relationship?” Mark asks, looking directly at you.

Well, that was straightforward... There is nothing to hide because Jaebum and you aren’t even dating or anything. When you told the boys back at the studio that you don’t have a relationship with Jaebum or Mark you were serious about it.

The answer would be beyond different if the boys were to ask what your feelings towards them but since they didn’t you are fine.

“No Jaebum and I are just friends,” you said as you looked into Mark’s eyes, so he knew you were telling the truth.

“That’s good to hear,” you were about to ask him why but then suddenly a memory replayed in your head...

For a second you almost forgot that Mark confessed he liked you... You looked down at your plate of food and tried your hardest to contain your smile.

Eventually, silence appeared and the two of you were now sitting there eating not saying a single word to one another...

So were you two planning to stay quiet now...

“M-”

“Y-”

The both of you stopped talking and just smiled.

Things were starting to become complicated... After talking to Sana and hearing her advice you looked at Mark and then back at your food. You came to JYP to live your dreams, not look for boys...

This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You remember reading an article where DAY6 had 6 members in the beginning, but someone was kicked out after JYP found out he had a girlfriend.

If you continue to allow your feelings to get in the way you will get kicked out of the company before you can live your dreams.

“What do your plans consist of tomorrow?” Marks asks and you suddenly begin to move your food around not wanting to eat.

“Um well, tomorrow we will have our debut showcase. Then we have photoshoots and interviews so tomorrow will be a very busy day.” In the past couple of days, you have had a chance to spend time with the boys which led you to catch feelings for them... But after today you were going to be busy.

Maybe being busy was going to be a good thing. You weren’t going to have the urge to want to spend time with Jaebum and Mark... Maybe you’ll even get over this crush of yours.

“So will I not be able to see you?” Mark suddenly asks and at that moment the both of you make eye contact.

“I’m not sure....”

Comments like this made it hard to forget why you liked him.

“Well... I enjoyed this lunch, but I think it’s time for me to head back and practice until my feet fall off,” you said dramatically, and Mark smiled.

“Don’t overwork yourself, you do have a busy day head,”

You got up from your seat, grabbed your tray, and left while you could...

Comments like this make it hard for you to just “forget” you have a crush on Mark. He was sweet and considerate.

But sometimes you must sacrifice something for something else... When you look at things it's either you choose your dreams or some boy...

Dance practice was going well; however, you would be lying if you were to say you were distracted even if it was the slightest. What was worse about all of this was that you couldn’t talk to your members about it.

You were trying everything you could to ignore your thinking about Mark and focus on what was important... Tomorrow and your busy schedule.

“Okay everyone let’s take 5,” your leader says as she tries to catch her breath.

You all agreed. You walked over to a wall and instantly sat down.

“Y/N!” You looked over and noticed your bandmate Daeun sitting beside you.

“You know although we live together and practice, I feel like I haven’t spoken to you in forever,” it was true but so much has been going on. . .

“I know. But I mean with this debut coming up we’ve all been tired and busy,” you said, and she nodded her head.

She grabs her water bottle and looks at you.

“I know it’s none of my business but lately I noticed you’ve been looking pretty distracted, is everything alright?” You looked at her and began to contemplate with yourself.

Should you open up to Daeun about your situation or keep it to yourself?

You didn’t mean to keep secrets to any of your bandmates, but to be fair you weren’t close to them. Also, this included something that could involve a scandal if you don’t play your cards right and this can affect everyone.

You wouldn’t know how Daeun would feel if you told her about both Mark and Jaebum and how you may like them. . .

“I have been distracted, but it’s nothing concerning. . . Just worried about failing and disappointing everyone around me,” you decided to keep it vague and simple with your explanation.

“Well, girl you have nothing to worry about. Honestly, one thing I always tell myself and I will share with you is that there is no need to stress about the small things. Life has a way of figuring things out, everything happens for a reason.” Daeun says and you nod your head.

“But what if. . .You know something you want to do can affect others around you . . .”

After blurting that out, Daeun looked slightly concerned but instead of asking me what was up, she shrugged.

“Well, only you know what’s best for you. Sometimes you must be selfish and take the risk to make yourself happy before others.” You were surprised to hear advice like this from Daeun, but she was right.

Min-Seo suddenly called everyone back up and we continued to practice. . . After speaking to Daeun, you felt a little less distracted. . .

Everything happens for a reason, right?

You weren’t expecting any of this to take place. You were stuck in a weird position.

When you auditioned to become an idol and even got ACCEPTED you were so happy words could not describe the feeling you felt. You felt speechless, you felt like this was either a mistake or they were probably confusing you with someone else or you felt like you were dreaming...

You remember before your auditions you slept so little to make sure that your routine for your audition went well.

Now here you are about to debut but now you are distracting yourself.

Instead, you are here suddenly getting swayed by boys in this company.

It wouldn’t be much of an issue if JYP didn’t have the dating ban... But if you want to continue being an idol you have to literally push off your feelings and maybe even stop talking to them.

You have worked way too hard to get where you are now. On top of that, you began to recall all the stressful moments you had to endure while training. The harsh criticism you would receive, the whiplash attitude your coaches would give, and the overwhelming feeling you had to deal with...

Honestly, training was probably one of the hardest times you have ever experienced. Back in the dorm, you remember calling your mom and breaking down. You remember the number of times you considered quitting and going to a new root, but you didn’t allow yourself to quit.

Instead, you put on your big girl pants and knew you were going to debut sooner or later.

You worked too hard to suddenly throw all of this away.

Usually, dilemmas like this were a no-brainer but as you began to think.... What if you never feel this way with anyone else you ever meet?

You knew that this was probably just an excuse to avoid letting go of the person you were starting to like...

Were you really going to throw away something you worked so hard for over a guy?

Thinking of Mark was not helping... And weirdly enough you caught yourself even thinking about Jaebum.

You got back on your feet and shook your head.

Now it’s time to focus on what’s important.

After rehearsing the rest of the members were ready to call it a night to head back to the dorm and relax before the big day. However, due to all the distractions you have been experiencing, you decided to stay back to rehearse for an hour or two to make sure you got everything set for tomorrow.

After practicing the main track dance, you felt yourself out of breath. You sat on the floor and looked at yourself in the mirror.

“You got this!” you told yourself trying to tell yourself words of encouragement.

You can’t keep distracting yourself with the thought of these beautiful men. You worked way too hard to be where you are now... How are you going to let that escape through your fingers with just one minor mistake?

You got up and you heard your phone make a noise.

You walked over to your phone and picked it up.

To be honest you were expecting it to be one of your members telling you to head home and rest up for the big day but no...

The person who was texting you at 11 pm was Jaebum.

I heard you were still in the company, so I decided to come by and take you home :)

This text brought mixed feelings. One side of you was happy to receive a text from one of the boys themselves because, to be honest, you enjoyed having a conversation with them. HOWEVER, this is the type of distraction you were trying to avoid.

You brushed your fingers through your hair removing the hair from your face and took a deep breath.

Okay. . . What if you agree for Jaebum to walk you back to the dorm for one last time? That way once you debut you can forget about your friendship with the boys and look at the bigger picture. YEAH!

You texted Jaebum agreeing to his gesture and then put our phone to the side.

Let’s just practice one more time before you call it quits.

As you were dancing the last chorus you suddenly noticed a shadow creeping up by the dance studio door. You were going to stop to look back, but you couldn’t afford distraction. You assumed it was Jaebum so instead of looking back you continued to dance and lip sync not trying to miss a beat.

As you were on the floor doing a dance move, you noticed Jaebum walking in and then looked away looking at yourself in the mirror instead.

FOCUS.

Look at the bigger picture.

You continued to perform as if you were standing on stage in front of a big crowd, but you were tempted to look over and look at Jaebum.

Fortunately, the song was coming to an end.

As you were finishing the last set of dance moves, you posed as the music came to an end and you could hear Jaebum cheering.

You looked over and smiled.

You wanted to say something, but you needed to catch your breath.

Jaebum noticed how tired you were after that last dance, and he noticed your water bottle close by the dance studio window. He grabbed the water bottle, walked over to you and you looked at him.

“Thank you,” you grabbed onto the water bottle and then took a sip before you continued to talk to Jaebum.

After taking a sip, you looked at him.

“What brings you to the studio, shouldn’t you be home?” You asked him and he shrugged.

“We finished early with recordings, and I was told that you were still in the dance studio so I came to make an appearance.” you couldn’t lie you felt your heart warm up a little at the thought of Jaebum staying here to see you.

No.... You don’t like him. . . You think.

As you walked over to your bag you said “You didn’t have to stay, you could have gone home and rested. I’m sure you had a busy day,”

Jaebum shrugged and smiled.

“Waiting for you was no problem. . . I was hoping I had a chance to see you today,” as those words came out of Jaebum's mouth you looked over at him and couldn’t help but smile.

Comments like this are not helping whatsoever.

Sometimes you get curious and wonder if Jaebum was interested in you as a woman but then again maybe it’s better if you don’t know the answer to that.

Your brain and your feelings are in a complete battle. What the hell are you supposed to do?

You realized you were so lost in your thoughts you haven’t responded to Jaebum.

“Ah so you just wanted me to bug you more, well your wish is my command,” you teased Jaebum, and he laughed.

You couldn’t risk being flirtatious with Jaebum. You don’t know what kind of outcome comes with and right about now you didn’t want to put yourself in any kind of predicament. Now that you were trying your hardest to stay on the right path you knew you just had to friend-zone the man.

“What can I say, life becomes a little bit more exciting when I am with you,” Jaebum blurts out, and after hearing that you instantly avoid eye contact.

Oh no... He is making it harder and harder to not like.

“Sometimes I wonder if becoming an idol is worth all this trouble,” you confessed to Jaebum as you two strolled along the street side by side.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean the restriction we have when becoming an idol. We have to put up this facade to keep fans happy. We have to give them this illusion that we are perfect and happy all the time when in reality we are human like the rest of them. . .” You weren’t even an idol yet, but you already started to feel like the fame life was going to be harder than most people realize.

Right now, you seemed conflicted just because tomorrow was the big day. Although you haven’t been friends with Jaebum and Mark for that long, it’s felt like so much has been going on and you haven’t been keeping your eyes on the prize.

“I know what you mean, I think it’s normal for anyone to have that kind of thought. But in the end, you always think and look at the bigger picture. What do you want?”Jaebum asks you and you look at him.

“I really want to make sure tomorrow is a complete success. I didn’t go through blood sweat and tears getting criticized left and right just not to debut at the end. You know?”After getting advice from different people, you suddenly decided to make a decision.

It was now time to put your foot down. Although the past couple of days you have enjoyed the presence of both Jaebum and Mark, you knew it had to come to an end.

Well, you didn’t have to cut them off completely, but boundaries had to be made and you knew that you had to avoid ever letting things get deeper for example your feelings for each of them.

Bzzz

You opened your eyes, and you looked up at the ceiling.

For some reason, it felt like you didn’t sleep at all. The moment you got home you had a hard time falling asleep. You were so nervous yet excited about your showcase today. . .

The day had officially arrived. You were finally going to debut and make a name for yourself.

You sat up and felt a mix of emotions.

Today is going to be a good day. You weren’t going to let anything get in your way.

Just as you were planning to get up from the bed you suddenly heard a knock on the door. Min-See opens the door and peeks her head through the door.

“Y/N are you awake?” she must have heard your alarm but hasn’t seen you step out of your room.

“I’m awake,” you told her, and she smiled.

You could see how worried she appeared to be. You couldn’t blame her; the feeling was mutual. Although to be fair you all should be confident for today’s showcase, especially with the amount of practice you guys had.

Day’s like today you couldn’t afford any kind of distraction. You walked over to your mirror and took one look at yourself. Right about now it was time for a pep talk.

Today is the big day. After all the rejections, all the struggles, and all of the hard work you put in, today was the day you were going to finally show what you have been working hard on. Today was the day you could finally show your mom that all those tears you shed during the process were worth it at the end of the day.

However, it seemed like in the back of your head you had a slight fear appearing making you think about the what if. What if your debut isn’t as successful as you were hoping? What if people don’t find interest in your group? What if this love triangle you seem to be in becomes far harder than it has been?

You could feel your mind filled with so many different thoughts, but you were trying your hardest to keep yourself together. This is fear talking.

Today was a big day for your group and you and you weren’t going to let anyone take that away from you.

As you were in the dressing room getting your makeup done, you were thinking about the lyrics to your own song and the choreography over and over. Today was the day you couldn’t afford any kind of mistake.

The makeup artist instructs you to close your eyes and begins to apply eyeshadow. Suddenly you hear the door open and the staff in your room saying hello to whoever came through the doors. Without thinking twice, you opened your eyes and there you see Mark walking in with a basket in his hand.

Seeing Mark gave you mixed feelings. One side of you was happy to see the fact that Mark cleared his busy schedule just to come down here and wish you luck. . . Like, let’s be honest what kind of guy does that? And then the other side of you isn’t very happy to see Mark just because you knew he could be a big distraction... Can you see the dilemma?

“Mark?” Your makeup artist pulled away from doing your makeup and smiled.

“I’ll give you a few minutes to talk to your friend,”

You thanked your makeup artist and then continued to look at Mark.

“Surprise,” he says as he approaches you with the basket in his hand.

“Surprise is right. . . What brings you down here?” You asked him and just as Mark was about to speak up, he was cut off when someone else walked through the door.

Another person you weren’t expecting to see was right there in front of you. Of course... Jaebum also made an appearance.

What the hell do you do now?

To Be Continued...

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