#idk I wanted to retake it
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I want to write many many many things but I don’t know where to start, so I end up doing nothing 😭😭
#like I have two fics incomplete#but I really really want to finish the one which is a character study about Mike#like i love this idea that I am writing#but anyway I also want to write like two analysis about Mike#and I haven’t finished the second part of my heart motif analysis#well the first part flopped so I wasn’t that motivated#and this is only about fandom related#i also want to write this short novel with time travel that I have planned since years ago#i commented it with my gf and she was so excited and said it was a brilliant idea that I should continue it#idk I wanted to retake it#the other story I have in mind I was planning to write a novel but maybe I will write scripts#I visualize it as a miniseries#I hope one day I could direct and produce#soñar es gratis#and then I have to keep working in this saga and and and#it’s too much to write and I don’t know what to do#because I work with one thing and then I start to think in another idea or that I should work in my other writing#i hate my life
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aziraphale: i bought a bookshop
crowley: that's so bookshop buying core
#fearandhatred#should i just fail this module be honest#i already have a backup schedule for if i fail it and have to retake it next year#and honestly mans should not be passing me because i know absolutely jackshit + did not go for any of the tutorials#and i need this module as the foundation for the rest of my minor which i did not even want to take so like.#what's the point of passing if idk anything lmfaooo#apparently it's really hard to get an F because the professor has to write into the school to explain why they're failing you#but shouldn't be hard considering my class participation is ZERO MARKS#idk. idk idk idk regrets regrets regrets regrets#here's part 9#good omens#crowley#aziraphale
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finally drew something again hallelujah
#my art#idk why the scanner took off the eyebrow but idc i'm not retaking a photo. i want to sleep now <3#good night ily
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the world’s most special guy
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#wakes up. rolls over in bed. immediately starts looking at images of theo.#<- world’s most normal oc haver#i took screenshots and recordings yesterday while messing around and listening to music#originally just wanted to retake a video of that animation from waves hand that old post that bot(?) brought back#also. have been having a crazy time lately so just wanted to see my guys yk how it is#none of the screenshots/videos i took were 3.6k x 2k so they’re crunchyyyy and the preset#looks. a little different. it changes appearance a little in bigger resolutions idk why 🤷
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AAAARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#im so annoyed rn#Rant incoming im sorry i apparently needed to vent#HOW TF I ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE CLASSES#like i really really find this interesting. i love to study it. i love to do the work sheets (not so much rn bc im failing it miserably)#SO HOW AM I NOT ABLE TO DO A SINGLE PROBLEM!?!?!? like this is getting ridiculous#like.... this is so sad#i actually like this. and tbh in my whole college journey there weren't that many classes i loved like this#idk this really makes me sad to be honest. bc it's one of those classes that i did try#<- it's the class that im retaking bc i failed it last year btw.#like last year i was so fucking depressed and hated my degree sm and this was the first class to make me feel the *joy of learning*TM again#and i failed it#but like miserably#and now im studying it again and im failing the easiest problems... from the first chapter#anyways dw about me - at least this is smth i actually enjoy and i want to know so it's not as painful to study#it just pains me that im naturally good at many stuff and this is not one of that stuff#arghh. gotta go watch a little bit of masterchef and go back to studying ig#aj rambles#<- lol forgot this tag
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I applied to college again today I’m so scared but I really wanna finish this damn degree
#I might be a full time student come time next fall??#yikes#I mean I want that so much and I love being in school#but is it going to be ok?#oof#mathematical astrophysics#I’ll have to take some classes over again for credits which is going to be annoying#I audited a bunch of classes when I was a teenager and I’ll have to retake them for credit#which will feel redundant#but after I get through those I can actually take some classes I’m interested in#deep delve into my topology#finish my freaking thesis#which I started sort of like ten years ago#idk man#nervous about it#I’ve been out of school for ten years mate
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it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.
#fugo.txt#like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl#she was like 10#damn.#and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister#and the only friend she had was her dog.#and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone#idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone-#-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same.#and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even-#think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all.#thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do#he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her#all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that?#ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50#but. man..#please take the time to think of her tjis december
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my new sonny angel matches him perfectly & i couldn’t be any happier about it ♡ ⋆｡˚ ! !
#i know my sheets are wrinkled#i didn’t realise they were wrinkled until after i took the shot and i didn’t want to retake cus this already looked pretty 😔#i love them sm!#ralph macchio#sock’s stuff#sonny angel#anik-anik#stuff#idk what other tags to use…#aesthetic????
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one thing they don't tell you about song writing is you WILL get hit with inspiration at 1 am and you WILL have to write down the whole thing before you forget and you WILL find a tune for it while typing and now you gotta actually finish it so you can record a draft so you don't forget it and- oh look it's 2:22 am
#:(#BUT the draft slaps. imo. the singing's Not Great it's purely to save the melody somehow#also some parts def need to be polished lol when i sing along on my phone in bed I'm too lazy to go back and do retakes#(in part bc it can delete stuff i don't want deleted so.) so if there's a line I'm not sure about well. i have to wing it lol#anyway. this one exists in the same cinematic universe as loveless. aka fun upbeat pop songs about how i can't feel love#i like it! i like how my brain immediately went to a fun pop tune while writing. it's perfect. i love the irony of it so so much ♡#it's also kinda funny to call it pop when there isn't any music ajdkflglh but i can hear it clearly in my head so 🧐 yeah.#yknow I'm surprised by how naturally this sort of thing comes to me now#and i find myself writing to match the tune rather than forcing a tune to match the lyrics#it also just. makes them better. sound more natural imo. less pretentious too :P#idk I'm excited that i managed to create smth sorry for the ramble 🙏#i need to wake up at around 9:45 so wish me luck with that 🥲 bc i doubt I'll be able to sleep soon lol
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I'll level with you, I've spent a year listening to some people complain that George's win was somehow solely responsible for the car being pants this year, and if that's genuinely the case, can you honestly say you think this car winning any kind of silverware at the FIA Gala would be a good thing?!
#I know it's largely a certain group who've banged that drum with bad intentions#But that car is clearly not fixed#And I know it's a frankencar right now#But idk that I honestly buy that they understand their problems#And if you want to argue that one win was the catalyst for them staying on tye wrong path#I think there's a fair argument that a p2 in the wdc would do the same#Idek if I think they should keep it in the wcc right now#I'm almost rooting for alonso to retake p3 and I cannot stand alonso
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the artist is experiencing finantial difficulties
#ive youve been following for a while you know i have a killer combo of dyslexia and dyscalculia#im finishing my undergrad now. nearing my thesis and such#i have a scholarship that covers half my tuition and its been ok but last year#i had to dump a very math heavy class i was failing. to keep my scholarship#im retaking it this year BUT I HAVE OVERLAPPING CLASSES#this time a code heavy course#literally same day from same to same hours#so i wanted to take an extra semester to literally take that ONE CLASS and finish my thesis without rushing#but they may charge me THE ENTIRE YEAR. FOR ONE CLASS#idk what to do#if i fail that class ill have to take the whole year regardless#literally no way to triumph#sigh#tessas txt#support my art and whatever
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will always have to begrudgingly remember (and hate the fact) that one must find joy in the small things in life, and live in the present
#rn it’s playing animal crossing every day and watching bob’s burgers every wednesday#i do have things to look forward to even if they seem far away (and often are)#at the end of april we have a caravan holiday#and yeah it’s only barely march rn#but at least it’s something#more recently tho i’m planning on dying my hair blonde and going shopping#trying to become human again and come back to life so to speak#bc i haven’t felt very much like a person lately and i’m trying my hardest to get back to normal#but if i relapse i’ll just have to work through it#truly i’ve been redoing my course in mental health 101 and regressing quite a bit#but it’s fine#i’m working through it#idk i’m like dipping in and out of here rn#but anyone is free to come hang out by way of asks or you can folllow my insta or whatever you want#i think maybe i need also retake a course in friendship#bc i haven’t been a very good friend lately and those people know who they are#but i love all my friends dearly <3#and anyone is always welcome to come make friends with me#i love chatting to people so come say hi!#and i wanna rekindle things with the friends i already have#rn i’m just a lil car going down a road very very slowly and i need to be careful about things#it’s such an obvious thing: you’re a human being with only one body and mind and you have to take care of it#but sometimes that can be hard#and that’s okay#anyways please don’t be shy about talking to me i don’t bite! i’m just relearning how to be a person and that includes talking to ppl#but i’d still love to talk to you!#anyways catch you on the flipside i guess (or whenever i happen to be active on here imao)#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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thinking about horror film au marauders.. (tw. lotta gore)
lily the nerdy, bossy character that comes out with a giant axe and brutally beats up the killer/s to the shock of every other character
peter is either the bargaining character that tries to bargain and give the killer/s what they want just as he's about to die. or the character secretly on the killer's side that's revealed at the end
definitely giving wolfstar the making out whilst a killer is in their house/car/woods
mary, dorcas, remus, and lily all turning to each other wondering which of them is gonna die first, when they realise they're basically in a horror film cause of the black character dying first trope (i watched the blackening yesterday and the tagline "we can't all die first" gave me this hc. very good film. highly recommend)
sirius is the resident horror film expert that tells them what the killer usually does next (im imagining someone dying and everyone is just screaming over the dying body and sirius is also screaming but then adds in "this is exactly like that scene in wrong turn!"
the screamers are probably mary, remus, and james. not a definite though. i can see it being other people.
marlene gets the most jump scare scenes and emmeline gets the most hearing creaking and footsteps
james is the best at fighting but absolutely hates blood. feel like there needs to be a scene where he's like punching a masked killer and is doing SO WELL. and he gets the killer on the ground and is about to pull the mask off when the killer pulls out a knife and stabs at his hands and chest and shit. and he just screams and backs away staring at his blood until he faints.
as marlene dies, she clutches dorcas' hand and whispers "the lesbians never get a happy ending. apart from fear street... why couldn’t this be like fear street?"
the final girl HAS to be mary. ofc.
#im very much a satire horror fan. in case you couldn’t tell from this.#gonna explain how everyone dies (other than mary) in the tags cause im having ideas now i thought i was finished#idk the order so this is random and not at all chronological#remus- is high as fuck. thinks sirius or james is pranking him and then gets stabbed or whatever#sirius- tries to out horror the killer. tips a bucket of fake blood on them. has a chainsaw and mask#has a bunch of recording devices with sounds he previously made. etc. but then his fucking phone goes off#and he gets so annoyed because thats such a rookie mistake. and he asks to cut and do a retake just before the killer kills him#marlene- kinda already said about her death. but feel like it's def outside like in the street and shes only with dorcas#i already said james' death#lily- feel like there's more than one killer and she manages to kill one. just to turn around and another to get her#dorcas- she gets VERY into it once marlene dies. definitely gets hits in if not killing some of the killers.#but they ultimately get stabbed a lot and they run to marlene's body whilst bleeding out instead of the hospital#and she dies in marlene's dead grasp.#emmeline doesn't get killed for a while. is bait in a plan to catch killer/s but the plan goes wrong and she gets pushed out a high window#i havent mentioned other characters but why not say their deaths.#regulus- he's made to be involved with like a scene in a library where they go to him to ask about some secret history of the town#and then is killed the next day but has s bunch of writings and pages of books around his room about the killers and hes solved it#but the killer burns it all before anyone gets there#pandora- kinda want her to the first death for some reason idk.. like it gets framed as a suicide but so many people dont believe it#and the killings go on#barty- sees the masked killer and like jokes around touching their mask and stuff. and then the killer just like. brings out an axe#and chops his head off#evan- dont know why but im imagining him driving and getting those spikes in the road to lure him out the car#also btw didn't mention peter's death cause im leaning towards him being secretly one of the killers#and gets killed by either lily or dorcas#was gonna say barty and evan could be killers then i realised i made them kill reg and pandora and cas so people would not like that#also no mary death obviously since shes the final girl. survivor ever <3 immortal <3#marauders era#marauders#tw. gore
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Currently trying to figure out how to lightly tell my parents that I am extremely anxious to get Behind The Wheel (as in the thought makes me extremely fearful and not I'm itching to go on a 5 hour drive) and I'd really like Actual Driving Lessons from someone who's Job Is To Teach That. Not that I don't think my dad is a bad driver, but I don't really want my grandpa teaching me =_=
#idk. i feel bad for not driving the moment i got my permit its edging closer to a month with no time behind the wheel. i can have the permit#for 2 years iirc per my states laws before i need to renew it (retake the written test) which i dont want to do. but i cant. findit in me to#ask my grandpa to take me driving. i should I just. hhhng. idk#i dont know. i don't even know if driving schools offer like months of one-on-one teaching. they'd make me look all this up on my own. they#probably don't. maybe im overthinking this by a ton =_=#i would like some experience with a better qualified person before i start asking to drive around to further my skills I guess. i need some#ne whos going 2 be able to handle my stupid anxious ass before I jump to drive for errands and stuff#elias howls#idk. I'm probably being stupid and overthinking everything. I'll draft a text in a few days I guess
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gm friends and lovers guess who finally picked out three photos for this slutty mattodore edit
#river dipping#''good morning'' it's 3AM :) it's rlly just me and my eastern hemisphere mutuals against the world rn#there's actually four images but the fourth image is one that i'm gonna be sticking under a readmore anyway#these are gonna stay 16:9 because i've realized that images (even ones not resized) are actually pretty clear on tumblr if they're 16:9#.........they're also staying their original dimensions bc if i tried to crop them i would be chopping whole chunks of the sims off#matthias is kinda spread out on the floor so . like i rlly can't crop it even if i wanted to jdkfhhjkn#also took more photos of matthias in those muzzle poses i made too but... idk. i'm rlly having a hard time taking photos of it jdnkhjn#i'll probably try retaking them AGAIN if i don't just wind up giving it up to god and going with really close up edits of just their faces#idk... we'll see whenever i get around to it.#but i'm probably going to spend the night editing these photos and listening to a random jerma stream or maybe if books could kill#OR behind the bastards bc i'm soooo behind on it i don't think i've listened to it in months ugh
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my fatal flaw is that i love notebooks and i love taking notes and i love reorganizing files and love to rewrite things and so i am constantly fielding the impulse to do nothing but rewrite the same notes in new configurations in different notebooks all day long
#N posts stuff#the binder was working really well for us for a while but now i'm like#'oh what if i copied a bunch of the notes from the binder into a different notebook for better readability/organization'#the notebook in question being a book i made myself by cannibalizing empty pages from an old notebook that i wanted to throw away#but it's smaller and more portable than the big binder is; since all the notes i want to retake are ones from Shows it's not like#portability is a major issue - i'm not ever going to go out in public to watch stuff to take additional notes - but my vision is WEIRD and#sometimes printer paper size pages are like. Too Big for my eyes to want to focus on (no idk how much sense this makes to me either)#but mostly i just like to rewrite things like i'm not Feeling Good and so it's like. idk. reassuring/soothing to just rewrite the same shit#as a kid i was like 'damn. i Fully do not understand why writing lines is supposed to be a punishment it is like Enrichment to me'#technically this fatal flaw is not a sin unless you have the subconscious internalized belief that it's Bad to not be Actively creating#and so feel guilt about rehashing comforting things as opposed to using the time to push yourself to write brand new things#so on one hand i DO have that on my shoulder but on the other like.. . pray tell WHO will stop me?
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