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aspiestvmusings · 3 years

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WV 2: QUESTIONS

The things that were never fully explained or answered on the show.

Some will be answered/revealed in future MCU projects, but some might forever remain a mystery.

QUESTIONS THE SHOW NEVER FULLY ANSWERED FOR ME, SO I “ANSWERED” THEM MYSELF:

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BEEKEEPER:

What happened to the beekeeper from ep 2? Did he become one of the characters on the sitcom? Was he thrown out of the hex like Monica? Did he get erased from existence? Was re has “rewind” aka went back to the sewers & has been looking for a way out ever since? Is it possible that she turned him into a poster in the library...seen when Visions enter the library for their “word battle”? (because this is the only bee reference I’ve noticed & that poster was not there during the ep 2 neighborhood watch meeting, so...) Did he turn into the ice-cream guy in ep 3?

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MISSING PERSON:

Who was the missing witness protection person Jimmy was searching for? Why did he or anyone else mention him again? Did the “sitcom case” take priority or what? Did he see the person on the show, but never mention it..to others/viewers...because he has to keep their identity a secret? Did we never see the person?

Unless it’s random...just to get the story starting, I see three most likely options:

a) Ralph Boehner - he is an actor or his new identity is an actor. Is he a skrull? (people keep saying he cant be the witness protection person, cause the headshot indicates he’s an actor & when you’re “in hiding” you don’t get assigned a cover/alias where you go out & be visible like actors on auditions. But... that headshot was old...of younger “Ralph”, so I’d say still possible & his cover-story is that he was an actor, but failed, and he doesn’t do that anymore)

b) mailman - he seemed sketchy to me til the end. Is he a skrull? Is he the witness?

c) “Vision” or “Wanda” - it was just one of Hayward’s tricks....to have a reason to set up the camp & all that. Hence why Jimmy couldn’t find any info on him...why no-one he contacted knew anything.

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WV DOESN’T EXIST:

What was the “memory loss” of those two cops & the missing persons relatives/associted all about? As Monica put it: why did these others people have no memory of WV or the missing person, but she & Jimmy did? Who & how was controlling those people or why didn’t they remember? (the cops thought the place is EastView, & a place like WestView does not exist. And others thought that the person X from witness protection does not exist even if he was supposed to be their “family member”) Why did some remember & some not? Everyone on the base seemed to be aware of the place, but pehaps it was somehow erased from everyone elses memory and/or existence?

Is it some sort of memory loss? Brainwashing? Wanda’s/someones mind-controlling? Something else? Agatha’s doing? Maybe she erased their memories/made them mix up things when she arrived to the hex & wanted time to investigate on her own before others arrived?

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FIETRO:

Fietro is Ralph, Agnes husband? The house is his, Agatha just took over & made him move to the “man-cave attick”? But who is this Ralph anyway? Does that headshot indicate he’s an actor? And that he was just cast in a role...much like Trevor Slattery was in IM3 (I personally loved that twist...maybe cause I love Ben Kingsley!). But perhaps there is more to him...than just a joke name? Or does he have that headshot cause he’s the witness protection person? Is his cover-story that he’s a failed actor (who has old headshots of himself, but doesn’t act anymore)?

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THE NOSY NEIGHBOUR:

What’s that gonna be like? What will Ralph think of this stranger living in his house, calling him her husband... Did Wanda trap her into the same house & role? Did she cast that spell correctly - will it work after hex is gone (based on her quick learning curve I'd say yes...the made sure the role extended also outside the hex). How will the townspeople react to her? Will they recognize her as an outsider... if she really did come there only after Wanda created the hex? Or are they only mad at Wanda & see Agnes as their hero? Will they remember the events of WV anomaly...or not? Based on Wanda’s promise “no one will bother you”, I’d say everyone will just remember Agatha as the nosy neighbour Agnes & no-one will know/remember seeing her fly & do witchy stuff?

How will that work? Were the peoples memories not wiped, so they know/remember that they saw this person fight Wanda, saw her powers? Will they know she's witch, even if one "locked inside a character"? Will they then see her as their hero, freeing them from Wanda & try to free her from this "punishment"? Is there a witch among them who will try this? Will they go look for someone who could do that? Does the line "no one will bother you" mean that everyone will act as if she is Agnes & that's how it'll work. And where will "Agnes" live? And what will she do?

Will Jimmy & Monica handle that side? Giving her a "fake identity" (Is Agatha the missing witness protection person that no ones ever heard of? And Jimmy's search was a scene cut from the future, trandsported to the past/present?) Cause unless Monica & Jimmy handle that side it's just gonna be weird...a 400-year-old witch with no ID just showing up in a random guys house climing she's the wife & "moving in" just like that...

But...since she seems to known a lot about the book & darkness then I’d say Wanda needs to consult her at some point. Or...since the broach was still part of her outfit...perhaps it serves as a key to help break Wanda’s spell and set her free. Maybe she’ll get help from someone?

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AGATHA’S BROACH:

When Wanda turns Agatha into "Agnes, the nosy neighbour" to play the role...forever, why does she not change her broach/why does the broach not change along with the rest of her outfit? Did she decide to not change it or did something prevent it from doing so? It's the broach Agatha took from her mom (a wicth) after killing her, it's the one she's worn throughout her stay in Westview.

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AGATHA’S ARRIVAL:

IF Agatha told the story correctly & she arrived to WC after Wanda created the hex...cause she sensed the magic, then how did no other witch seem to sense it & why was she able to enter the hex and do it without it altering her mind? Why exactly did the hex not affect Agatha in that way? How Was Agatha able to come there & bring her book with her?

When did she set up the secret witch-cave in the basement? Was it just an illusion...created as a show for Wanda? Or did she do all that during the frist episodes/days? Or was the basement real & already there? In that case...whose house is it & what’s that all about?

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HOW DID AGATHA KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WANDA?

She seemed to know certain details. Were those all public knowledge (death of her brother, etc) and hence she could access the info? Did she “see” it through Wanda’s dreams & nightmares...that every person in the city was “watching in their heads”? Or did she use some kind of magic or tricks? Or have some ..sources?

Though she seemed to know some details she was also unaware about many others, so...IDK. Possible that she knew of the bits that were public knowledge... from news, newspaper articles...

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THE BUNNY:

Was the purring & insect/bird eating just one of Agatha’s illusions/tricks, or is there more to that cerature? If it wasn’t just your regula pet then my money is on it being a Flerken (Goose...because Scratchy!)...which would make either Agatha and/or Ralph a skrull...in disguise. Or some sort of familiar or scary monster...turned into a bunny by Agatha. Cause no way that’s a regular pet bunny... it eats insects/birds!

PS. The creators have confirmed that there were plans for the rabbit. There was a scene shot that revealed its true identity. The bunny was supposed to turn into a demon. But that scene was cut...for reasons.

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SKRULLS:

OK...we got one more skrull revealed (one of the FBI is a skrull) in WV. We got two in FFH...which happens 8 months from now in MCU. Who else?

But are/were there more...and we just don’t yet?

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MAILMAN/DELIVERY GUY?

What was really up with the pizza-delivery-guy turned into messenger (aka Wanda’s script csting her in several roles & him doing three jobs at once, being always on the move, never getting to rest - mailman, courier, delivery guy...for different companies)

I do not know if the mailman is also Jimmy's witness protection person (a courier/pizza delivery person might be a nice low-key job they would set up for such person?], but it does seem that Wanda cast her in all "delivery" roles. So he was pulling tripple-duty: mailman, courier... so he was exhausted, because he was always delivering something somewhere. Working many jobs at once. But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time.

But... mostly I think the mailman was one of the chracters on a loop. While the people at the edge of the city were on a short loop...repeating the one move over & over, he seems to have been on a wide range loop. He was circling the town all the time. But mostly, his lines were on the loop. In the final episode he repeats his very first line. Meaning he was fed only like 5 lines of dialogue and after each was used once, he started from the beginning again. This is why he says "Don't shoot, I'm just the messenger" in ep 2 & again in ep 9.

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DOTTIE:

Was Dottie a red herring presented to the viewers in reality & MCU reality? By shows creators for us & by Agatha for Wanda and those watching Wanda’s broadcast? Was Agatha just trying to mess with Wanda, draw direction away from herself by pointing to someone? Cause she claimed Dottie is the key to everything in WV? When she wasnt...based on what we learned. Was she really just used as a misdirection by Agatha...to fool Wanda (and us)?

Based on the Season Finale it seems she was just a misdirection? But perhaps there is a reason that she seemed to be the one & only WV person, who after being freed from the mind-control didn’t attck Wanda right away, but instead tried to “bargain” - she was just asking to be able to hug her daughter. She wasn’t afraid of her like the rest - she even suggested their kids could become friends... She seemed to be the only one of “main cast”, who somewhat understood her. Why? Only other person who did was Monica - other superpowered individual who had just experienced loss & was grieving. Is this was connects Dottie with Wanda? Is this the reason she tries to talk it out first?

I found it kind of interesing & weird that when they identified Phil Jones (the piano guy) as Harold Proctor they did not automatically identify Dottie (the wife, Sarah), too? Cause they put Jones info on the board, but Doddie does not get any identification. Why/How? Did they not think of at first assuming that "couples stay together", so first to check the identified peoples family members? Or did they try to do that, and in some cases it turned out to be not helpfull? Meaning that in some cases couple/familys were not kept together [would not fit Wanda's sitcome fantasy world as perfectly?] I just found it so strange.

I do think the identification data was kept from the board for one reason only... to have that Agnes/Agatha reveal be "surprising" to regular viewers. because comic fans & TV-viewer detectives could sense that twist coing, but regular viewers probably could not.

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DARCY:

Where did Darcy really go at the end? Why did Darcy actually not stick around after hitting Hayward with the car? What is she really doing? Is she one of the people who are actually skrulls? Was she missing in the end just because they tried to keep the cast to minimum, so room for “side characters” cause so mjuch was hapening? Or is there a plot reason?

Yes, this was the result of real-life scheduling issue...due to covid. But...will they also write it in as something more/other in a future MCU project? Claiming she left early for a bigger reason?

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HAYWARD’S PLAN:

What was Hayward & SWORD really up to? In the past few years he'd changed the focus to creating/buiding sentient weapons instead of just observing. What else were they building besides "new vision"? That hangar could fit a whole spaceship or more... And why does it seem that Hayward got his hands on some Stark tech (or something similar), considering the triangular "stark reactor" on his re-built Visions forehead. How did he get his hands on all this tech? Did Stark trust Rhodey, & Firy, who trusted military & Maria & SWORD, and hence certain things were made available to them? And who works for Hayward when they were able to re-build Vision in week (from parts to whole, paintjob done, arc reactor added to head...), cause someone who knows their stuff must work for him. Who, how? Who is the "scientist" who connected that "stark reactor" to re-constructed Vision's head...in a way that it works?

Why do some viewers keep saying that Hayward shooting the kids came out of nowhere, and was like turning the helper to a villain in that moment? Um... can a story really be interpreted in so very different ways or did they miss something? The dude tried to use a "missile" on them already in episode 5! His goal might've been to get Wanda, but the target was not alone. In that specific scene the twins are right by her side.

Hayward is not the good guy, because he planned this all along, he tricked Wanda & the others. He lied about things, he edited footage to manipulate facts. (yes, Wanda did the same with her broadcast, I know & understand). He had his own secret agenda & he manipulated Wanda, using her grief (he admits he knows what state she is in) to manipulate her to bring Vision back online/to life. He put on a show for Wanda & tried to get her to "feel" to get her to use her power to power up his new weapon. When she doesn't do so, he has to find new ways to get her to use her powers to get what he wants. And in doing all this he goes against Sokovia accords & Vision's will.

Sure, part of his behaviour seem to come from fear (about the threats that universe hass seen) & desperation regarding the chaos the world had been past years, but his motivation is made cler pretty early on - he wants that pat on the shoulder from big boss. He will not stop at anything to create a sentient weapon, manipulate info/date...etc. His manipulation directly lead to the hex events - he put those ideas into Wanda’s head...but he was willing to take the risk. Just like with White Vision...he was aware they might not be able to control him (still under our control? yes, still ours) but he wanted his weapon so bad he was willing to risk it...knowing that Wanda’s powers often backfire & cause trouble.

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THE STORK

Who caused the glitches during Wanda's pregnancy & while she was giving birth? Was it Wanda (her subconcious...her losing control of the illusion for a moment)? Was it Agatha trying to mess up things? Was it (partially) the kids already presenting their powers...from the womb? Was it the secret big bad that was never introduced within the show (Agatha's partner/master)?

If we assume that the red she tried to use to make the stork disappear represents her magic then it not working suggests that it was the kids behind it, because she cannot control the kids. (though she probably could't control Agatha's "messing up everything" magic either)

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FOR THE KIDS:

“This is all for the kids...” I do not think this had anything to do with Wanda’s kids. After the finale it seems to me that those chants were all about the kids trapped in their bedrooms... kept away from their loved ones. The kids Wanda put in isolation/quarantine...for the duration of her sitcom (minus letting then out for Halloween..)

The “actors” were just begging her to let them see their kids. They were playing their roles, and doing it all for their kids. Since she didn’t cast any other kids, but everyone asked about chid characters she created two...whote the parts for her twins to enter the story. To me this is confirmed by “Dottie’s” plea to Wanda..

But for Wanda’s mind it translated to a different message, too, because Agatha wanted to plant ideas in her head. So while the “cast” was taling about doing it for their kids, Wanda got the idea of kids of her own thanks to Agatha’s meddling and planting those ideas into her head (she’s like a marketing department... making her buy into the ideas she planted in her head thoughout the show...to write them into next episodes...)

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VISION AT SWORD

How & why was he there, not in Wakanda or some Avengers or Stark facility?

I do think that why he was there makes sense. Vision died in Wakanda during the Thanos Snap battle. Tony was in space then...and would not return for the next 3 months. Bruce & all other Avengers were defeated & the world as a whole was in ruins & in chaos.

IF the Sokovia accords dicdated that the Visions body (vibranium) belongs to US government, then that is how & why he went to SWORD right away. But it is possible that initially he stayed in Wakanda (til Tony's return) or was kept somewhere else. But even though Tony & Avengers were not always agreeing with the government, then SWORD was lead by Monica's mother Maria back then, so it is possible they trusted her, cause Fury trusted her. That's the first reason why it makes sense he wold be kept there.

I do think that since Tony & Avengers considered him as their friend, and "human", and he had a lliving will, and they knew that Wanda was his next of kin, and she had been dusted, then that is why they did not "bury" Vision. It was not their decision. It makes sense they would keep him hidden until Wanda's return, who would give him a proper burial when she'd return. Because the team, together & seprately were all quietly working on solutions how to undo the snap...

Also...since they considered Vision "human", then I dont think any of them wanted to keep his body in ther home or office (why he wasnt in Tony's garage or at the Avengers HQ probably). Because bad guys would probably come looking for the 3 billion dollars worth vibranium there first & they probably did not have the energy to deal with that. Also...they might have decided to not simply bury the vibranium simply because of the worth. Cause they did not want some bad guys dig him up & sell him to parts...for the vibranium.

There are several options why he was at SWORD. But I think it makes more sense that Tony & co did not bury him (not their decision..it was Wanda's & Vision's decision...and we do not know what exactly his will said about that). It also makes perfect sense why they did not keep him at Avengers HQ. Because based on Hayward's comments he wasn't moved there after Endgame battle & destruction of the headquarters, but had been there all this time. I’m prerty sure Tony & co honoured Vision’s wishes not to be brough back to life AND to leave the funeral for the “widow” to arrange...since they all were hoping for & working for the return of the blipped...

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WHAT WAS HAYWARD TRACKING INSIDE THE HEX?

He was tracking Vision & vibranium all along. He might not have known how there was a Vision in the hex, when he had the actual vibranium in his lab, but he saw a Vision, and since 6 million worth of vibranium is better than 3 million worth of vibranium, and 2 sentient weapons is better than one (he probably was not aware that they weren't completely real?). Since Wanda "created" an actual body made of vibranium, wires, blood, bones... it was possible to track it. And I guess Hayward did bring the best to the scene, cause Darcy figured out a way to see inside the hex (discovered the broadcast), but other experts in that "clowncar"seemed to have figured out things, too.

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WHITE! VISION:

What happened to White Vision? Where did he go (when he flew off)? This is the original Vision - the one made of vibranium, a mix of Jarvis + Ultron + Tony + Bruce + other elements....minus teh mind stone. The one Wanda fell in love with. He has the physical body, he has the memories. He had his memories, but could not access the file...until Hex Vision unlocked access to that file & those memories. He remembers everything...up until Thanos. The only part missing is the Mind Stone...but as we learned in A3... he can survive without it, cause theres still a lot of “him” left without it. But he is probably still missing one element...the emotional connection w. Wanda (”soul”), hence I don’t see WV reuniting right away in next fim/project. What is he now? He recognized that he is (a) Vision & he, too, is the real one.

Did all the data coming in at once just overload his operating system & he needed to cool down? Did he go to find answers to Wakanda...where the vibranium in his is from, where he “died”, where he remembers Shuri separating the differents parts of him....to regain the missing bits...)? Did he go on a search for a mind stone? Did he still have that command “destroy Vision & Wanda” on his to do list Hayward gave him...and he went to destroy...himself? Did getting his memories back make him realize that if he wants to re-connect to Wanda, he needs the mindstone? Because while the team theorized in A3 that he can exist without it, I kinda think that Wanda & Vision connected “through” their shared element...the mind stone. I do not know if it has to be physically on his forehead. Maybe the “energy” from the piece inside Wanda will be enough? But...I do think that just like with the disassembled Vision at SWORD Wanda can not feel the White Vision...hence they had him leave, not stick around.

Based on his eyes changing from robot to human after he gets his memories back I’d say he is free of SWORDS control. This is why I think he just went to search for the truth/answers. Because... when Hex Vision wanted answers, he went to look for them from the “outside world” & to do that he had to go past an OCTAGON - the “stop” sign before the hex border. And the Colourless Vision flew through an OCTAGON shaped glass ceiling to get out of there. Hayward said “He really wants out, doesn’t he?” when Hex Vision was trying to break free from Hex & “Wanda’s control” to find answers and to help people. I think this is exactly what this new version of Vision did. And the similar shape as an “exit point” symbolises this. “I want to break free” was the song paying inside his head.

My main guesses are:

a) this Vision either went to Wakanda...where the vibranium his body is made of is from...and where he died... and since Shuri is back after the Blip, he might go for his “scan”... cause Shuri can provide him with more answer on himself. 99%

b) that he followed the command from Hayward & since he know knew who he was (I am Vision), he destroyed himself. He now knows that he is Vision (he realized that he is Vision...which is more than original Vision did. His identity at first was I am...), so he is self aware... 0,1% possibility

c) or other options are that he just needed time to process everything and/or his returned memories told him he must leave Wanda time to go through some things... Too much data process at once, system overload...when Hex Vision overflooded him with all the memories...

I am still unsure how to read the moment where Hex Vision awakens White Vision... was he just giving him access to the secret memory dat/files or was he also trnsfering his own memories with Wanda/his soul into the version he knew would remain while he would be gone?

But if we are to believe that just like we the MVU universe doesn’t know about him until months later (Spidey 3, Dr. Strange 2), then most likely answer is Wakanda.

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THE TWINS:

What is the origin of Wanda’s kids really? We saw that she actually did create vibranium for Hex Vision’s body. Cause the two Vision were equal in every way & SWORD tracked two vibranium objects, so...he is a copy of the original in a way. So she can create things from “nothing” (unless it’s actually not nothing, and she’s pulling the materilas from somewhere or something... cause even in MCU laws of physics should exists/apply?) So did she create the kids from “nothing”? Or are the kids real in a way that 50% of their origin comes from Vision. We know Vision can take human form. We know this Hex Version had maybe even more human in him (of blood and bone) than original? And...we saw Vision CRY. He can cry, so if he is able to produce tears...whose to say he can’t produce other bodily fluids? To get technical about it. Maybe in this fictional superhero world things that are impossible in real world aren’t so? Maybe “robots” can evolve to be able to actually have offspring...even if said robots themselves are confused about how that’s possible (ep 3)?

But...then we have Wanda thanking the kids for choosing her as their mom & that post end scredits scene with SW reading the darkhold & hearing her kids cal her for help. Was it her memory? Was is a dream? Were they actually calling for her help..cause they’re stuck..somewhere (other dimension?) This, along with all the devil/nightmare etc references throughout WV seems to hint towards the MCU taking more than just loose idea from the comics. Maybe Wanda did...knowingly or unknowingly use "Devil’s” soul to create her kids? Cause... Fietro was under Agatha’s control, and she knows the history, so why would Fietro make those “demon spawn” references otherwise? I’m thinking the MCU & MOM might go that route...that this is how they were created...

But... I do think that even if this is the route MCU takes (copying comics), the end scene of WV showed something very important. Wanda, Vision, Billy, Tommy...they became a family. And if they are not actually biological offspring of Wanda & Vision, then that end scene showed us exactly what makes a family, and a parent. Who did the kids call mom & dad? = Wanda & Vision. Because these are the two people, who are their parents, because biology doesn’t make one a parent.

And we saw Wanda seeing what a wonderful dad Vision was. From the “proud Papay-a” joke...til the “I’m proud of you” & good night kiss... His journey was complete - he was experiencing the loss of loved one (throwback to their old conversation on grief)

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THE TWINS - POST CREDITS:

Where are the kids? What did Wanda hear in the end credits scene? Is it her nightmare? Is it her “imagination”? Is it real & the boys are “trapped” somewhere & actually calling for her & she can sense them...from another place & time (whoi took them & where are they in that case)? Is she trying to bring them back/re-create them...but this time without the restrictions of the hex (get the spell right, not cast a flawed one that had limitations)

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HEX! VISION - FATE:

If the boys are “alive” then what happened to the Hex Vision? Does he, too, exist somewhere is some form? Is he trapped somewhere, too? Or...is he now just a memory...without a physical form (until she re-creates him, again, too...when she’s learned how to do it without flaws like tying his existence to a dome)?

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DR. STRANGE?:

Where was Dr. Strange during the events of WandaVision? If Agatha could sense the hex/spells, then why & how could Strange not? Why was he not there? Why wasn’t he monitoring the situation? Or...if he was (just not shown to us yet) then I hope we get his POV on the situation. Or was Wanda somehow blocking him from sensing the anomaly and/or her? (then we have to wonder how Agatha sensed it or is she sensed it at all..cause how did she enter the hex & remain herself & uncontrolled? - can & does that happen/apply only to “superpowered beings”?) Cause I was surprised that we did not get a direct reference to him (no post credits cameo) considering his role in MCU... And I cannot wait for it to be explained in MOM.

Was he aware of the events? Was he busy with bigger issues and hence didn’t intervene? Did he monitor the situation from afar? Did he not intervene for a purpose (cause he looked further into future when he still had the time stone & knew how it ends etc)..because he needed this to play out..just like he needed Endgame events to play out? Perhaps he was playing the long game, and did not deal with it, because he needed Wanda to become the Scarlet Witch.... a more powerful being that he is? Pehaps he is aware that he needs her on his team to fight aginst a threat he alone cannot win against? So he had to let everything play out as it did...for Wanda to accept her true identity & become SW?

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COTTAGE - END CREDITS:

What is that cottage about? Is it supoosed to be more like Thanos retiring to countryside after “doing the universe a huge favor”? Or more like the end of 2008 Hulk film, when HUlk goes to a cottage in the middle of nowhere to learn to control his power (anger)? Or is it more like a reference to Evil Dead and the cotttage in the forest with a “dark” book inside.

The heroes & villains in superhero stories always end up living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, kind of “off grid” after “the big event” - Hulk at the end of 2008 Hulk film, Thanos after his Snap, Tony after losing to Thanos, but getting Pepper (and Morgan) back.... and now Wanda after Westview...

Is this supposed to be the mountains from the comics? Is this supposed to be Wandas MCU homeland? Or is this suppsoed to just represent a secluded location where she learns about herself, her abilities, etc?

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WANDA’S AWARENESS:

When did Wanda start to realize what she’d done & when did she become fully aware? This was not fully answered/exlained, but based on everything I’d say the turn happened in ep 3 with birth of twins + mention of reality + throwing the outsider out. Though she censored the broadcast already in ep 2 & she & Vision both started to wonder why they can’t remember things in ep 1 already, I thought that both the plot and the commercials suggested the turn happened then. She loses control of some of the things as the birth takes a lot of energy from her. Then she hears a reference to past & reality, and that awakens her. But I think that only after she looks at her hands in a “what have I done” way when she sees the destruction after throwing Monica out does she start putting the picture together...that she did this.

But...she does not understand or know the real effect of it on the people, and the ramification of her actions until that moment in the town square in ep 9 when Agnes has freed the cast from her mind control. Her eyes are opened to the truth only then. And the moment the truth hits her...she takes action: first she attacks herself for what she did (but since everyone feels everything she feels then by choking herself she is also choking everyone else) & she starts tearing the hex down. First attempt is interrupted...for reasons. But she sets things right: she can’t take it back, but she can stop it from going on. Even if it’s not a happy ending for everyone. For people of WV it’s just like a bad dream..when it’s over they realize none of it was real. But for her & her family.... it’s not that kind of a show (with happy ending).

She goes through the stages of grief with her take on the sitcom reality: first denial, then anger & bargaining, and in the end acceptance.

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WANDA - MoM:

What this story told us is that Wanda is a fast learner. And though she doesn’t have an actual teacher/guide, she learns “on the move”. Agatha reveals her secrets & trade secrets to Wanda by bragging about her knowledge & tricks... which Wanda quickly learns to use against her,

I am still unsure if they’ll go "Wanda becomes evil” or “Wanda chooses to be good” route. Will her story copy Agatha’s or will she do as she said she’ll do... that she is not like Agatha. Her mom realized she cannot be good. But Hex Vision knew she can be good & even tells her “Be good” in ep 6. And she herself, after realizing the damage she’s causing, immediately tries to fix it (taking the hex down when she is told her pain is hurting others) I can still see it going either way.

I’m not sure if she as a fast learner will be able to fight the darkness or if her maternal instinct will make her make rash decisions. Will she attempt to help her kids & cause another “accident” & hence Dr. Strange must come to save the day? Or...will she turn to him for help/he will offer his help to her? But either way...seems that MOM plot will be linked to her trying to save her kids from whereever they are trapped/bringing them back...safely (remember: Agnes hinted that there was a way to bring Vision & Kids to life in a safe way...without making their existance dependant of the hex....she will try to find out what that way is.

I kind hope she will be good... not turn full villain. Because... her origins story and whole storyarc, to me, seems done so similarly to Tony. Both considered threats & villains by many - govermńments, civilians...who they’ve unintentionally hurt. Both journeys strongly connected to loss & grief. Both carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Tony turned his life around when he became aware of the concequences of his actions...even if he still made mistakes on the way... and I think they’re gonna go similar route with “Wanda”

But I think her role in MoM depends mainly on one thing - if MCU/Feige considers the TV show to be part of the full story, or separate. If it’s part, then IMO she won’t be the villain. definitely not intentional, and possibly even not unintentional (cause that’d be having her go through the exact same arc she did in WV). And I hope they dont follow the comics story here in detail, because that’s not surprising. If they’ll do what happened in comics after she “lost her kids”, then we know exactly whats gonna happen, but I expect to be surprised. And since MCU likes to do their own twist on the stories, not copy everything exactly as in comics, I hope we get a surprise twist here, too. Cause I’d be more impressed if they kept her on “learning to understand & control her new abilities to not make the mistakes shes made in past” route instead of repeting the same mistakes she’s already made (letting a villain mislead her).

*************************

MAKE HEX SMALLER?

Why did Wanda not leave a small hex around her family & the house...keeping the fake reality up? At least until she figured out a way to keep them alive outside?

I am not 100% sure I understood why that was. But I believe it was explained with two things mainly: Agatha’s lesson on magic that explained some things & the fear of outsiders. Agatha told her that the fake reality she created was & would always be broken & one a spell is cast it cannot be changed, so the only way was to “undo it”, because “changing” was not an option.

And secondly...next outside force like Hayward would come & try to get their hands on her creation - the millions of worth vibranium, the superpowered individuals they could turn into weapons. And..she also knew that their happy home could not be there anymore, because in the eyes of WV people she/they were the evil, so they’d turn on the mini-hex.

Also...though she created Vision & the twins (whether in their fake reality the boys were created "naturally” or she used some kind of magic... is irrelevant here) she cannot control them - they were separate of her since start, and had free will. They would not stay inside the hex & fake reality...they would search for way out... for example, because they were looking for answers...beyond the world they were restrained to...

Sure, it seemed that when Agatha freed the townspeople from Wanda’s control during the final battle & the hex was still up, they were free of her control, so it kinda seems it would’ve been possible to untangle the hex & mindcontrolling of the people from the rest? But...IDK...

*************************

WANDA = “HERO OR VILLAIN”?

I think that this is another philosophical question...just like “which ship is the real one” & “which Vision is the true one?”. There is no one singular answer here. She is made of chaos AND order. She, like every human has good & bad in her. And I think seeing her as only/just either 100%r good or 100% bad means not looking at the whole picture. There is no singular “answer” here...for none of the characters.

I think Vision was able to explain it the best to us...throughout the series. She did not intend to do this, she was not aware of doing it, and it all being subconsious...but despite that what she was doing was wrong.

The people of WV see her as evil/villain. Should they? Shoud they fear her? How & Why was no-one beside Monica able to empathize with her? Has none of them lost anyone? Was the mind-controlling worse than anything other they’ve experiences in their lives? Why did they UNINOMOUSLY turn against her? For them it was a week of “pain”, and there was an end to it.

I can understand & “empathize” with both Wanda & people of WV. Both have suffered & been hurting.

What she did was wrong. The people should not just forgive her right then & there and move on ike it was nothing. But if this was the final push for her to start to understand her power, then good can come of it. What happened is simply because she did not understand or know how to control her powers. She did not anticipate that by simply crying or “feeling sad” she can change reality. That her feelings affect reality essentially. Normal people when grieving sometimes lash out on people around them...she cannot do that....cause when she does it “imprisons” peoples minds and makes them her puppets...without her knowing this happens....basically.

After she became aware of it, partly, she kept the freality intact for a few reasons: she had to grant him his final wish...to grow old together, she had to finish the script/story. No one else mourned Vision, no one else “cared”. Secondly...she was not fully aware of what it did to the cast of her show (it only become obvious to her at the end). And thirdly...as Monica said: theres no knowing what will happen if they make rash decisions (what will happen to those inside & those outside the hex)...Wanda probably didn’t know either.

IF they make her the villain, then how about this twist (not following comics) - why not make her NIGHTMARE? Because it’s “her thing”...she intentionally or intentionally gives people nightmares. Others can feel her feelings & see her nightmares... Just use the name, but change the villain.

*************************

WHY DID WANDA “RUN & HIDE”?

It’s the same reason why IMO she can’t just keep the hex intact just around their dream house...because there will always be another Hayward. Another government and/or villain, who wants to use Vision and/or her (superpowered individuals) as weapons, etc.

Especially now, when Tony is not alive anymore, and the Avengers have been “disbanded”, she could not stay & be used as a “weapon”. So she fleed, and set up her own quarantine stacation. And I truly believe that her plan was to learn to understand her powers first. She did the only thing that would not hurt innocent bystanders... she removed herself from the world. Cause her powers aren’t contained by prison walls. And until she learnbs to understand & control them being on trial or prison might make her feel strongly gain and accidentally cause the next hex event. To avoid that happening she must learn to control the powers first...

But I do believe that either unintentionally or intentionally (cause she tries to take shortcut to get her kids back) she makes mistakes along the way. The book “overpowers” her or something... That is a possibility.

To draw parallels to our real world.... I know families who have been separated because of the current state of world and who have not been in the same house, city, country or even continent...for months. Separated by “quarantine”.

*************************

AGATHA’S HOUSE:

As Billy noted in 1x07 Agatha's house is quiet & Agatha herself is quiet on the inside...meaning he cannot hear her, he cannot read her mind inside the house. And he likes being in there because elsewhere it's "noisy" (in his head...as he can read minds). We know that Wanda cannot read Agatha's thoughts & cannot control her...like she does with other WV people, but it's never explained how or why. And as Fietro/Ralph notes in 1x09 to Monica - no-one can hear her screaming... from inside the house...and I think it applies to the whole house not just to the "soundproof" man-cave.

Meaning...he is aware that the house if protected from the outside. But how & why is that? How did Agatha protect the house from Wanda's spell/hex? How does that all work? How was she able to presumably enter the hex (without being changed), and create a space free of the spell within the spell? How did her book help her accomplish this?

AGATHA’S BASEMENT:

Speaking of the house... why is there a safe room (man cave) in the attick? And a witch cave in the basement? Did Agatha create both environments or were they there when she moved in? Whose hosue is this really & why are there weird rooms in there? If this is Ralph's house then why does he have those places in his house? And what happens to Agatha's items after hex goes down? (the witch books, the rabbit..)

I do not fully understand these comics themes like magic and such. So I don't fully understand what the show is telling (this fantastical magic is a myth, not science-based to me) But...if we assume that Agatha told the truth when she said that once cast, a spell cannot be broken then, then that still does not mean that other magic cannot happen within the hex. All the powered characters proved that - Wanda & Agnes were both able to add or change things within the hex. So this is how & why Agatha was able to put her own spell on Ralph/Fietro, and their house. This is how & why Wanda could expand the hex. It didn't erase the original spells code errors, it just added more code to the spell.

It just did not change the original spell where she re-created Vision, and tied his existence to the hex...which became the stage for their sitcom. It didn’t affect the spell connecting the existence of her family to mind-controlling the “cast” into playing the roles written for them.

*************************

IT WAS AGATHA ALL ALONG:

No, I'm not looking into the things she messed up during Wanda's sitcom filming. Instead I am looking into the similarities & differences between Agatha & Wanda. And whether Agatha is the "bad guy" or the "more neutral teacher". Cause their stories are similar, it's obvious they made them similar in many ways. In 1693 Agatha has gone & misused her powers because she doesn't understand them enough (it's left unclear if on purpose or by accident). This is essentially what Wanda does in 2023. Agatha's own mother does not believe she can be(come) good. Wanda's guide in all things (her moral concience) Vision never loses his faith in her and that even though she has misused her powers she must not have meant it, and that she can fix it ("Be good, Wanda.") Agatha, on the other hand, seems to urge her to use her chaotic powers...which, as we know, she knows all about...so she knows the issues that come along with them.

So while in many ways she's been a teacher, and a guide, and a (grief) concellour to her during the hex, it does seem that she has only taken those roles for self gain. She is after the power, because that is how she becomes more powerful, and because she thinks she is more deserving of it that her/others. Even after she finds out that Wanda is destined to become the Scarlett Witch she manipulates her into using her magic. Her main motivator is left unclear - does she want Wanda to use her power and bring on the chaos the prohecy in the book says OR if she wants to become the SW herself. We saw that in 1693 her own mother was about the receive a "witch crown", but Agatha drained her of her power...yet not receiving a crown herself. Now history repeats itself. She sees yet another witch get the crown instead of her.

And part of me thinks that one part of her motivation is jealousy of these others being chosen insted of her. Though at the same time there are also references about her being just a messenger - doing the simple work for someone else (either she's a willing partner, being "blackmailled" into doing so, or used without her knowledge). She seems to want to avoid Wanda making her mistake of using powers beyond her knowledge...not repeating her mistake. She also seems to envy her cause what has taken her centuries to learn through hard work, she can do without even trying. And she also seems to at times "grieve" and want to bring someone important to her back to life, too. I get so many different and a bit conflicting readings from her. I am still unsure what her real motivation and plans are. Or what role she really played.

Her plan is to "steal" Wanda's power. That's her goal since the start. But...first she must learn more about what it is she's encountered. Who is Wanda, what her powers are about, and so on. This is why she meddles with the sicom. She is doing everything she can to make Wanda use/show her powers. She also sets the snowball rolling on the kids theme. For an undisclosed reason she needs to know what powers Wanda has, and if she can create things/life from nothing, and/or bring back the dead. This is why she reads her the women's magazine article & manipulates her to think about kids (the seduction techniques article, making Dottie & everyone chant "for the kids"). She, for whatever reason, wants Wanda to show her powers, and create life/kids. We're left to assume she needs to see them grow up fast, too. She kills the dog just to see if the kids will age themselves up again and to see if Wanda can/will bring back the dead. We can assume why she wants all this, but the real reason/plan is never revealed to us.

Agatha promises a solution - how to fix the hex, and she knows Wanda is easily tricked, because of her denial & state of mind. She misleads Wanda, because unlike Wanda she knows there is no fix, because "once cast a spell cannot be changed/fixed". Agatha's behaviour is strange. At times it seems she made these mistakes herself, and is now trying to guide Wanda, to not repeat her mistake. Though for some reason she also does not explain what it is that she did, or why & how to not epeat her mistakes (in using magic you've not mastered yet) Agatha is just like a vampire, but instead of blood she feeds on others powers. I though that in a way Billy & Tommy discussing if Uncle P. was a vampire can be considered a litte funny nod to this idea. Because she is essentially a "power-draining vampire"

Agatha was behind many of the things happening inside the hex (which itself was created by Wanda). She manipulated events to keep it going longer. She kept hinting at kids so that Wanda would create them. She "started rumours" (hinting at Dottie being the key, Monica being outsider), making Wanda question Monica, etc. She came up with tricks to make Vision more suspicious. She did everything she could to separate Wanda from others (divide & concour) - she sent Vision to look for answer from beyond (The Truth Is Out There! such a Mulder thing) She had her kick Monica out. She "hypnotized" Ralph & used him as a pupet. When everything else failed, she kidnapped her kids, and then trapped her in the basement where her powers wouldn't work. PS. The fact that Wanda fell for such trick (a villain using her mother instincts and her kids to trap her) is why I am not entirely sure that fan theories about MoM are correct. Would she let another villain trick her again...even if the Darkhold makes its reader "mad" & hence not logical at all...

Also, I'm thinking it was Agatha who deleted the cops memories of Westview (if we assume she really did come from outside the hex then it makes sense she "met" the cops who came to investigate...)

I do think that Agatha's mother was correct - she is not good. Maybe she let the Darkhold compromise her, maybe she just chooses to be not good, because no-one saw her as such, so she started not just seeing herself as "not good"; but became such way. She discovered the hex and she (unlike Wanda, the SWORD team, Vision, townspeople) knew what had happened since the moment she arrived, yet she shared the info with no-one & didn't try to help anyone...because she had her own agenda. She constantly kept messing with the hex & events, which lead to more hurting to people. She caused the rift between Wanda & others, she made Vision go looking for answer, which lead to Wanda expanding the hex. This was Agatha's goal all along. She needed her to use her magic as much as possible, to show her what she can do, to give her evidence on who she is & what she can do (how she did this, how she was able to do this). None of it was cause she really cared for the townspeople, or Wanda, or her family. She's the bad guy...with a few good sides. But mostöy she helped because it advanced her own plan & end goal (get more magic for herself, become more powerful by making those she deemed unworthy powerless)

IMO her goal was not really to get Wanda to the moment when she lets everyone go & frees everyone and ends the “torture”, but to get what she herself was after. It doesn’t seem that she did the “therapy” sessions and all with the intentions of the townspeoples wellbeing in mind. Though she and her motives remained unclear, it seems that she did...all of the things she did...for her own personal gain. Cause how dare some baby witch with no training or studies do better than her...someone who has had to spend centuries studying to achieve even a fraction of what Wanda can do without any effort?

*************************

RALPH:

It seems that this house is Ralph's house, because the bills are in his name (with water/eletricity usage going way up just recently...after long low numbers...suggesting that the house was unhabited...so he was dusted & just came back). But what's up with the house? Why would he need a man cave like that, when Agnes is not really his wife & he is actualy the only person living in that house...until hex? And why does he have that weird basement? Who is he really? And what's his story really? [Or was the basement an illusion Agatha showed Wanda & it doesn't really look like this?]

And if that's his real name, why laugh at it? Something is definitely up with "Ralph". Is he the witness protection person & that was his file...for him to learn his new identity, and not a reference that he's an actor and that's his headshot? And his powers were never explained. We're left to just assume that Agatha gave him the ability through the necklace. But we've never actually told if she can do that kind of magic. That's why I don't think he's just a random Ralph. But I don't also think he's "from multiverse". Though it is stil possible...

There are things that suggest he's the witness protection person. And then there are things that speak against it. The funny name (or...is he an adult film actor, and hence the name?), the strange safe room in the house (unless Agatha created it & moved him there & soundproofed it, then it was already there...). The overdue waterbill (with spikes on usage in Feb & Sept-Oct 2020?...when i's supposed to be around Oct-Nov 2023...) seem also interesting. If the wrong year is an error from props, then ok. But if it's not, then this guy just took over some guys house & identity who used to live there..until 3 years ago... around the time SWORD changed their meaning...

I do think that unless they're trying to double-trick everyone & a reveal is coming in further future that he was actually the other Pietro, it's most likely that he isn't & was never meant to be. But I also think there's more to him than just some random Ralph, whose house Agatha took over just because it was next to the one Wanda created. I do think the name might be the directors nod to a character on a tv sitcom he used to be part of the cast (creators love to add little nods to people & things they know & like into their works). But putting his name + Agatha's bunny + her comment that there's no taming Agnes comments together... that's a tripple adult joke...

And, untimately, I think this character being just Ralph was supposed to be about the viewers going through the same experience as Wanda. Wanda is pretty messed up, so when a stranger shows up to her door, and claims to be her brother, she at first embraces it. Because she really wants it to be true. But slowly logic takes over, and she becomes suspicious, and questions the actual truth. For Wanda he kinda looks similar, and he has the brothers abilities. So she accepts the lie as the truth...for a second (they did the same with White Vision in ep 9...when for a moment she thought it's her Vision...because she wanted it to be true..so badly). I do think that this was one of the reasons behind this character. I do think that within this show it was always supposed to be about the veiwers being confused together with Wanda. Which...does not mean there's not more to him that'll be explored in the future. And they might still turn it into a multiverse plot twist, but for now, I think it worked the way it did. Especially since they did leave it open with all the little weird details (laughing at his own name, etc)

And it worked...we, like Wanda, wanted to believe “the lie” so badly that we convinced ourselves into believing he is Fox Quicksilver. This is why I personally loved this reveal. And I don’t get the upset. Because this works so much better with the shows theme. It shows how powerful “suggestion” is, and how easy it is to trick the human mind.

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AGATHA’S ACTIONS:

If Agatha is able to free everyone from Wanda’s spell (as demonstrated in the finale), then why didn’t she do it sooner/right away?

Is it cause she didn’t fully understand what was going on soon enough? We know that Vision didn’t free everyone right away after ep 5 was because freeing them meant causing them feel pain, and Vision is all good. But what’s Agatha’s excuse/explanation? If she considers Wanda’s mind-control as wrong, then why did she not help the people if she could? Because she had her own agenda...she needed her to keep up the illusion in order to get what she wanted. And she was doing it all knowingly.

Agatha has no right to judge Wanda here. Vision & Monica do/have. People of WV can. The damage Wanda caused was an accidental byproduct of her grief (when she cries everyone feels it & cries..without her knowing...she can’t affect others emotions), but Agatha planned everything with full knowedge of what she was doing. She is the villain who seems to have good intentions. Wanda is the hero, who seems to have bad intentions. One lead by good, other by evil.

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WANDA VS MONICA/"GERALDINE"

I think that the reason Wanda seems to be hostile towards Monica, while she seems to be determined to help her at any cost (to herself) is all about reality vs hex-ality. If you pay attention then the moments that "anger" Wanda during this sitcom freality are the ones where something from actual reality gets through to her freality. Jimmy's radio message in ep 2. The beekeeper in ep 2. Mention of Ultron in ep 3. The drones. Since Monica represents the reality that is ruining her fake reality, does not fit in, is a deviation from her script, then she is trying to edit it out. Monica is trying to connect to Wanda because of the grief connection (she has similar experience due to what happened with her mom & the blip). Wanda is also probably not completety sure she isn't on the same team as Hayward is. She might focus her anger towards her cause in her mind she represents SWORD.

Also...some bits are making me think that Wanda sensed that there was an outsider in her dream-world. That there was an enemy among her neighbours/friends. But...she either could not identify them, or Agatha mis-directed the suspicion at others on purpose, making her mis-identify the threat. Cause what Wanda tells Geraldine before she kicks her out is actually, in reality, applies to Agatha.

Also...from production POV...the reason they had Wanda physically attack Monica, and not others is because shes the only "random" person with powers. So she's a worthy match. And they used this to set up her powers, and showcase them. Once it was decided Monica was part of the shows story, and she'd get her powers, that was it. She had to exit the hex (2x enter + 1x exit), and Wanda is basically the only one who could make that happen (throw someone out). So from that POV it was just a means to an end. The ep 7 fight was to show us & Wanda more of her powers.

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THE STATE OF WESTVIEW:

Did Wanda see WestView as being in ruins & people all alone & sad when she was driving through the city becase of her own mental state (when she arrive there)? Was she projecting her own feeling to others & hence saw her own feelings in others? And in reality the city was not in the state she saw it? Because based on the finale the people of WV did not seem as sad & city as much in ruins as it looked to her? Did she accidentally project her feeling on others...for real? Is this what happened?

When the hex goes down the city is still “rusty” (boarded up houses, no shine), but the people might not have been as un happy as she perceived? We won’t know...

Was her perception accurate or incorrect? Not answered, really...

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THE AEROSPACE ENGINEER?

Though it seems that the engineer friend was the lady she met up with, who brough Monica the vehicle to enter the hex, I am still a bit unsure about her not being just the messenger, because Monica originally says “guy”...which kinda hints towards a male. So that, to me, was also left a bit open ended...

JIMMY’S FRIEND CLIFF?

Who is this other FBI agent Ciff who Jimmy calls to help. Who is this? I don’t think it’s anyone important. I just think that this is yet another meta joke. He is calling Cliff Hanger. #Cliffhanger lol

THE END

#text post #my thoughts #WandaVision #SPOILER #WandaVision spoilers #WandaVision spoiler #WandaVisionSpoilers #Wanda Maximoff #Vision #The Vision #Hex Vision #Soul Vision #Wanda #Wanda Vision #Wanda x Vision #MCU #LONG POST #LIST POST

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writingkeepsmewhole · 5 years

Text

Are We Really Doing This

This is my submission to the Negan fic exchange (love day addition) made by the wonderful @annablack1102

This is a day late but not a dollar short and I’ll tell you why. The sweet @annablack1102 helped me edit my fic. SO if it’s amazing and so much better to read then any of my other stuff thank her. She is super sweet and awesome for helping me. She gave me ideas upon ideas and shes just great. Thank you darling you helped me and didn’t need to and I can’t thank you enough for that. Your amazing! Anyways...

This fic is for @inappropriatecabbage I hope you like it darling it’s a long one... Real long...

Trope: Are we really doing this?

Reader needs a date for her office party.

Negan x Reader

Warnings: Language and fluff so much fluff. (it’s almost mushy)

Sitting on my couch at home half asleep watching Friends I barely react when my phone dings telling me I had an email.

I pull it off the coffee table and unlock it just to have my heart drop.

“Crap..” I say looking at the email.

It was from my boss inviting me to the Valentines day party this weekend. No matter what the holiday she threw a party. “To lift the mood of the office.” It was fun until this was your third time showing up empty handed.

Sighing I groan. As if I put out a distress signal my phone lit up Maggie’s face showing up on the screen.

Accepting her call I put it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“What’s wrong?” She asks making me pout.

“Love day party….”

“Oh, right…”

“Don’t ‘oh right’ me. You’re married, you don’t have to worry about being alone.”

“I don’t have to worry about having a date, but I have to worry about spicing things up.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

She laughs it off, making me smile.

“Don’t go if it's that big of a deal.”

“If I don’t go then everyone will think I’m pathetic.”

“They will not.”

“I have to go.”

“Do you really?”

“No, but I don’t want to be the only one not there.” I say standing up and walking to my kitchen.

“So go. Who cares if you are alone?”

“Me. I care.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think I can take another year of Andrea’s smirk while she rubs up on her boyfriend all night.” I say getting ice cream from the freezer.

“Why do we hate her again?”

“Because she sat on her ass taking credit for my work.”

“Oh right. Well just bring someone.”

“Who? You wanna let me borrow Glenn?”

“That’s funny, but I’m sure there is someone who can go. I can ask around.”

“I don’t want to just bring someone random with me. This isn’t a hallmark movie. I can’t buy a fake boyfriend.” I say walking back to the couch.

Glancing out the window I do a double take when I see my neighbor Negan in his own apartment in nothing but a towel.

He was standing in his kitchen getting a beer giving me a clear view of his back and the few tattoos littered over his skin. When he turns around and sees me, he waves with a smirk on his face, making me blush and quickly turn away

“Are you there?”

“Huh?” I ask realizing I wasn’t listening.

“I asked if you knew anyone free who could pretend to be your boyfriend?”

“Someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, maybe that cop that patrols the neighborhood.”

“Rick is engaged.” I say knowing she is talking about the sheriff that goes to the same coffee shop as me.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I thought he had kids.”

“Yeah I think he has two of them but his first wife died.”

“Oh right, that’s so sad.”

“Yeah..” I say wondering how he kept going after losing her.

I slowly eat my ice cream as Maggie names off different people that were either married, moved away, or with someone.

“What about that one asshole that lives in your building.”

“Gonna have to be more specific.” I say putting my ice cream away.

“You know he’s rude, has a dog...”

“Daryl? He’s not an asshole.”

“Good what about him?”

“I’m good thanks.”

“You don’t have time to be picky.”

“Because I like him as a person and don’t want him to feel weird if I ask him to be my fake boyfriend.”

“Well I can’t help you.”

“No one can thanks for trying.”

“Your welcome sweetie.”

“Enough about me why did you call?”

“Oh right, I’m pregnant.” She says the excitement clear in her voice.

“Really? That’s amazing!”

We spend the next better half of an hour talking until her husband gets home.

I spend the next two days getting ready for the party. I didn’t have a date but at least I would feel sexy. It was the day before the party when my doorbell rings. I open it to see Maggie standing there.

“Hey.” I say smiling and accepting her hug.

“Whatcha doing here?”

“Was in the neighborhood.” She says shrugging and walking into my apartment.

“You want something to drink?”

“Lemonade?”

“Sure.” I say knowing she can’t drink.

We were sitting on my couch talking when someone knocked on my door.

“Food!” I say jumping up and running to my bedroom. “Mags get the door please.” I say while digging through my bag to get my wallet.

Getting a twenty I walk back into the living room stopping in my tracks when instead of a Chinese delivery man was none other than Negan.

“Umm hi.” I say making both pair of eyes turning to look at me.

“Hey there darling.” He says, smiling at me and making his dimples show.

“He’s got some of your mail.” Maggie says holding up my mail.

“The mailman mixed them up again.” He says smiling.

Sometimes I think the gods above mixed our mail up just to treat me to the sight of my sexy neighbor. Negan was a silver fox in the perfect way. I also think the gods did it to punish me. Negan always seeming to show up when I didn’t look my best.

“Oh, thanks.” I say trying to make my brain make normal sentences.

“No problem.”

Walking up to Maggie I take the envelopes from her.

“Well, you ladies have a good day.” He says winking at me and turning to walk back down the hall.

I close the door as my senses come back to me.

“Who was that?” Maggie asks a smirk on her face.

“That was Negan.” I say calmly, moving to lay my mail on the coffee table.

“Who’s Negan?”

“He lives across the street.” I say not meeting her gaze.

“You like him!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t even know him.”

“Not yet.” She says making me turn around to face her.

“What--” I stop talking when I realize I was alone a Chinese delivery boy standing in the open door frame.

Maggie comes back fifteen minutes latter and hands me a slip of paper.

“What did you do?” I ask her opening it to see ten numbers wrote across it.

“Your welcome.” She says smiling.

“I’m not gonna call him.”

“Well good thing I gave him your number too.”

“Maggie!”

“You can thank me later.”

“What if he’s a crazy person?”

“You’ll be in an office with other people. I doubt he will do anything. Besides, I explained everything to him.”

“You what?”

“Look Y/n you got a date, that’s what you wanted right?”

“Yeah but-.”

“But nothing be happy and enjoy yourself.”

Sighing I lay my head back on the couch.

“Fine…”

Later that night, I try not to think about the fact I had Negan’s number or that he had mine. I keep glancing at the paper on my stack of mail, but won’t let myself call him. This was a bad idea and embarrassing no matter what Maggie said.

I sat on my couch, my knees in my chest and my stomach in knots. I held my phone about to call him and tell him it was just a joke. When I looked at the time I decided against it, not wanting to wake him up. I chewed my lip wondering why he hasn’t called yet.

I jump when my phone starts to ring and unknown number popping up on the screen.

“Hello?” I ask picking it up.

“Are you watching movies without me?” Says a smooth, deep voice.

“Umm excuse me?” I ask confused.

“Oh sorry darling. This is Negan.”

“Negan.” I say blushing.

“The one and only.”

“What’s up?” I ask then close my eyes at how stupid that sounded. My face getting hotter when Negan chuckles.

“Just about to head to bed. I wanted to know what time I should pick you up.”

“Pick me up?”

“Tomorrow night, for the party. Your friend Maggie said you needed a date.”

“She was just being silly.”

“Really? So you don’t need a date?”

“Well no, I mean yes but-.”

“Y/n relax it’s no big deal, if you don’t want me to take you...”

I shake my head knowing he can’t see me surprised he knew my name.

“But I mean you do kinda owe me after getting a free peek the other night.”

“What? I didn’t-.”

“I’m joking. I’ll pick you up at six okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.” He says, the line going dead.

I sit there going over what just happened.

I was going on a date with Negan. The sexy, older man that made my me feel like a teenager all over again every time he was around.

I was screwed.

I spent the time I got home from work till six getting ready. I only had an hour and a half and I was gonna use every second.

I make sure my legs were smooth as silk in the shower and my hair fixed just right. I reapply my lipstick twice, wanting it to match my pink dress. It was short sleeved and lace. Most of my back showed from the heart cut out of the fabric. It stopped mid thigh and hugged me in all the right places. I paired it with black ankle boots and a half jacket.

I was making sure I had everything when a knock came from the door.

Taking a breath I try to ignore my stomach bouncing around.

“It’s open.” I call doing a double take of how I look.

“Hot damn doll, look at you.” Negan says walking into my room like he owned it.

I try not to notice that was hot to me. Speaking of hot he was. He was dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket. It was open and hanging off his body making him look even taller.

“You ready to go?” He asks smiling.

“Mmhmm.” I nod grabbing my clutch and walking past him to the door.

He stopped my his long fingers wrapping around my arm. Spinning me around to face him.

“You seem upset.”

“No.”

“Nervous?” He asks smirking.

“A little.” I admit my cheeks heating up.

“Well relax. I’ll be the fucking best fake boyfriend you've ever had.”

“Fake boyfriend?”

“Yeah, that’s what we are fucking doing right?”

“Right.” I say smiling feeling my stomach drop.

Of course this was just a fake date. What else would it be?

“Great.” He says smiling and letting go of my arm. “Any rules I need to know about? I've never done this thing before.”

“Me either.” I say letting out a snort before I can stop myself.

He lets a chuckle, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.

“Glad I’m not the only fucking one.” He says leading me out of my apartment.

“I guess we should learn some things about each other to make it believable.” I say lifting my shoulder in a shrug.

“That’s not a half bad idea. What do you want to know?”

“How do you take your coffee?”

“My coffee?”

“Yeah, every couple knows how the other takes their coffee.”

“Alright, black. And you.”

“I don’t like coffee.”

“How the fuck do you not like coffee?”

“I don’t know.” I say shrugging, a giggle escaping my mouth by the way he said it.

“Your gonna be a hard one huh?”

“I guess…” I say as we step into the elevator.

“I like a fucking challenge.”

“Well you got it…”

“So what’s the party we are heading to.”

“It’s just for my work. It’s casual, at a hotel meeting room.”

“Casual? This is how you dress fucking casual?” He asks his eyes tracing up and down my frame making my skin heat up.

Licking my lips I look away from him and shrug.

“It’s party casual.” I say not wanting him to think I did all this for him.

“Well remind me to take you to more casual parties.” He whispers in my ear.

Digging my teeth into my lip, tingles shoot up my spine when his hand lays on my lower back.

He leads me out of the elevator and through the front doors of my building, a motorcycle parked out front.

“Is that yours?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t make a lady ride a bike in a dress. That’s mine.” He says jerking his chin towards the black truck parked a few cars down.

Feeling a bit embarrassed about assuming that he was driving the bike I walk with him to the truck. He holds the door open for me as I climb into.

He jogs around the front and gets in.

“Where to princess?”

“White Lily Hotel.”

“Yes ma’am.” He says starting the truck and pulling out onto the road.

“So what is it you do?”

“Oh, I’m secretary, nothing fancy.”

“Probably more than me. I deal with kids all day.”

“You’re a teacher?” I take a guess.

“Gym teacher for mainly high school, some college from time to time.”

“That’s kinda cool.”

“Yeah right.” He says.

“Well you’re helping kids that's not a bad thing.”

“More like trying not to knock some fucking sense into them.” He says chucking, it’s a happy sound.

Smiling I turn to face him more.

“You’re not what I thought you were.”

“What did you think I fucking was?”

“Don’t know. It’s hard to tell by just looking at someone.”

“Oh you are peeping on me now? I thought the other night was the first damn time.”

“That’s not what I meant.” I say blushing.

“I guess it’s my own damn fault for not closing the fucking blinds huh?”

I nod as my answer.

“But you don’t close yours either.”

“Now whos peeping on who?”

He smirks looking at me him once again looking me up and down.

“Lucky me, I got a hot neighbor.”

Blushing I roll my eyes and look out the windshield.

“Don’t believe me?”

“Why should I? You’re my creepy neighbor.” I say making him laugh, which I quickly join.

“Well here we are.” He says pulling in front of the hotel.

“When did we meet?” I ask looking at him.

“Coffee shop, few months ago.”

“Good enough.” I say reaching for the door handle.

I stop when Negan’s hand covers mine. Turning to face him I find our noses only a few inches apart.

“Relax, stick by me and I’ll have everyone believing your mine. Any man in their right mind would be happy to have you.”

Blushing I nod and open the door getting out of the car feeling like I was about to explode with how close he was.

The musky scent of leather and the spice of his cologne was invading my senses and making it hard to think.

When my feet hit the sidewalk I look up at the building making me realize I was really here. This wasn’t a dream or in my head. I was really here with someone. Not just someone, but Negan. My sexy neighbor that made me think very dirty things. On top of that we were here pretending to be together, pretending to have been together for months and we only just had a real conversation in the past hour. Suddenly feeling dizzy, my stomach flipping, I try not to fall.

“Are we really doing this?” I ask looking at Negan as he comes to stand next to me.

“Come on darling it’s a fucking party what could go wrong?” He asks wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

“I can’t believe Maggie asked you to do this.”

Grinning it making his dimples show he winks at me.

“Don’t act like it’s a bad plan.”

“It’s not that, it’s just I-.” I was cut off by someone calling my name.

I look to the left seeing Andrea walking up to us, her arm wrapped around her boyfriend Shane.

“I thought you said you were staying home tonight?” She says smiling at me, her eyes looking up at Negan.

I try not to react as his arm drops from my shoulder to my waist.

“I got tonight off so we decided to come.” Negan says smoothly.

“And you are?”

“Negan, her boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He says holding his hand out to her.

“Andrea, my fiance Shane.” She says but doesn't take his hand.

Negan nods and offers his hand to Shane him taking it.

“Lets go inside before it starts to rain.” Shane says smiling.

“Sounds good.” Negan says gesturing his arm to the hotel doors.

“After you.”

Andrea gives a tight smile and walks into the hotel.

Negan leads me to the doors his mouth dropping to my ear.

“You okay?”

“I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” I whisper back honestly.

“Well just be sure to faint in my arms.” He says, winking at me then pressing his lips to my head.

My heart flutters a bit at the show of affection as we walk into the large room. It was decorated in pink and red, hearts everywhere. People moved and mingled about.

Once again Negan walks in like he owns the place, him leading me to the open bar.

“Everyone is staring.” I whisper to him.

To anyone it most likely looked like we were being cute and flirty when really I was about to head for the door.

As if Negan could since that his hand slipped into my him tangling his fingers with his.

“Well duh, you look fucking perfect in that dress.” He says smirking at me.

Blushing I duck my head as he orders me a glass of wine and him whiskey.

“So does your boss like playing matchmaker or something?” He asks leading me to a empty table.

“No, why?”

“Why else have a party for “Love day”?” He asks pointing to the banner with the words Love Day wrote on it.

“No, she just likes making sure we are relaxed. We used to have it at the office but people started having sex in closets so she moved it to the hotel.”

“Makes sense, liquor plus a beautiful woman will do that to ya.”

“I guess.” I say lifting my arm in a shrug.

“You never hooked up at any of the parties?”

“I was usually alone. The last guy I was with wasn’t big on the PDA.”

“Why the hell not? I want everyone to know your mine.”

“Wow how romantic of you.” I say taking a drink of my wine.

“Hey now don’t go getting all uptight. PDA shows everyone I fucking belong to you too.” He says sipping from his own glass.

“I guess so..” I say never really thinking about it that way.

“Come on now, we are meant to be having fun here.”

I don’t get a chance to respond when my boss Carol walks up to our table.

“Hello Y/n how are you? Who’s this?” She asks smiling then looking at Negan.

“I’m good and this is Negan my date.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.” She says holding her hand out to him.

“Same to you.” He says taking her hand giving it a quick shake. His hand then quickly returning to the back of my chair. “Some nice party huh?”

“Oh thank you. I tried to make them fun.” She says smiling making her eyes wrinkle at the sides.

“Wait you’re Y/n fucking boss?”

“Negan.” I say, smacking his leg with the back of my hand. I didn’t mind the cussing, but I didn’t want him dropping the F bomb around my boss.

Looking at me he throws his head back letting out a belting laugh.

“I did not see that coming.”

“Is there a problem?” Carol asks.

“No ma’am, there ain’t a fucking problem.” Negan says placing his drink down and standing up.

“If you’ll excuse me I’d like to take my lovely girlfriend to dance.” He says holding his hand out to me.

Blushing, I smile at her and take his hand letting him pull me to the dance floor.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?” I ask as he wraps his around my waist his other hand grabbing mine.

“You had me thinking your boss was some young thing wanting to spend the company's money and then I’m faced with that.”

“Are you saying Carol is old?” I ask taking a step away from him.

“Relax darling I didn’t mean any fucking harm by it. Just surprised is all.”

I drop the subject despite the fact I wanted to know what he meant. The fact that this was only for one night kept me from doing so.

“Let's just get through the night.” I say placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Whatever you say sweetheart.”

We dance for a few songs until they bring out the food. I get in line very aware of someone's eyes on me.

Looking up I have to resit the urge to roll my eyes when Andrea makes the point to pull Shane into a kiss.

“Wanna tell me the story of that one?” Negan asks looking at her then back at me.

“That’s Andrea, she has my life. The job I’m still working for, the car I want, the house I almost bought, she even has my boyfriend.”

Negan lifts his eyebrow as if to say explain.

“Remember the boyfriend I mentioned? You’re looking at him.”

“The one that didn’t like PDA?” He asks, looking at them doting on each other.

“Guess he didn’t like PDA with me.” I say shrugging.

The conversation drops when we get to the first buffet table. It doesn't pick up again until we reach the table.

“Thank you.” I say when Negan pulls out my chair.

Sitting down I don’t get a chance to eat as Negan’s large hand turning my face to his. He leans in close his mouth brushing my ear as he talks.

“How about me show that prick what he’s missing out on?”

“What?” I ask confused.

“Just don’t slap me.”

Pulling away he doesn't go far his lips meeting mine. I blush but don’t react shocked. His thumb brushing my cheek pulls me back to earth. I kiss him back letting my eyes close as I relax into it.

His lips are softer than I expected them gently caressing mine. It was slow as if he was easing me into it. I wrap my arms around his neck his tongue pushing over my bottom lip. My cheeks get hot when his hand runs down side settling on thigh.

When Negan pulls away I resit the urge to pull him back or even to frown. Seeing Carol standing there makes me realize she cleared her throat to get us apart. I barely remember hearing it. It reminding me I was in a room full of people not just me and Negan.

“There are rooms open if you two would like to get one.” She says making me blush, wondering how heated was our kiss.

“Thank you but I think we are gonna head on home.” Negan says smiling at her.

“Are you sure? I didn’t mean-.”

“You’re fine, it's just getting late.” He says standing up.

“Come on sweetheart.” He says smiling holding his hand out to me.

Placing my hand in his I let him pull me up and smile at Carol.

“I’ll see you monday.” I say letting Negan pull me away from the party and back to his truck.

“It’s getting late huh?” I ask when we are back in his truck the clock reading it was barely past 10.

“It’s getting late for you, princess.” He says winking at me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t you normally go to bed around this time?”

“How do you know that?” I ask it sending a nervous feeling threw me.

“We see into each others houses. I’m sure you know when I go to bed.” he says making me realize I kinda did.

“Some time after me I’m guess.”

“11 if you must know.” He says starting the truck and pulling off.

“This is the weirdest conversation I have ever had.” I say earning a laugh.

“Yeah well that's what you get for going on a date with your sexy neighbor.”

“You think I’m sexy? Thank you.”

“Damn right I do.”

Smiling I softly push his shoulder.

“Did you have fun?” I ask after a moment of silence.

“Fun enough.” He says lifting his arm in a shrug.

“Oh sorry… I’m sure there was better ways to spend your friday night.”

“Don’t sweat it. Better than sitting at home dick in hand.”

“Oh my gosh! I didn't need to know that.” I say covering my face with him laughing.

“You know for someone who walks around there house in a t-shirt half the time you sure are shy.”

“I’m closing my blinds when I get home.”

Chuckling he pats my leg.

"I'll be sure to remind you." he says grinning making me realize he enjoyed teasing me.

Feeling a little bit better knowing that I take a breath.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why did you kiss me? I mean, you didn't have to do that."

"I got tired of you doubting yourself."

"Doubting myself? I thought you did it because of Shane?"

"Maybe that was fucking part of it but the whole night you kept saying stuff that made me realize you don't know how mind blowing sexy you are."

"I'm not sexy. I don't think I'm ugly but I'm just me."

"But you’re not. You are a whole hell of a lot more. You have an amazing body, curves in all the right places. Your eyes are gorgeous and you have a sense of humor. I'd be happy to have you in my bed."

I blush and duck my head.

"Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you doll."

I shake my head and look up at you.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

I shrug not wanting to talk about it.

"Come on it can't be that bad."

"Everyone acts like I'm some secret closet freak in bed but I've never even had sex."

"Wait, your a virgin?" He asks, making me look out the window ashamed.

I don't answer him, not knowing what to say.

"You've really done nothing with anyone?"

I shake my head my throat tightening up.

"How the hell have you not been laid?"

I clench my fist my eyes watering. I wanted to be out of this truck and lucky for me we pulled up to my building.

"I got it from here, thanks for coming." I say hating when my voice cracked.

I quickly get out and resist the urge to run up to my apartment.

I ignored Negan's calls and texts.

I tried to move around my house like i normally would but I always felt like I was being watched. I finally close my curtains and go to bed.

I know it wasn't Negan's fault. I shouldn't have opened my mouth, but I felt judged. His voice playing over in my head asking me if I was a virgin. I try to move on with my life but I quickly realize when Andrea came in asking questions about Negan that I couldn't just pretend the night never happened.

I also realize that I more or less liked him. He was funny and charming and gorgeous. But older than me which meant he had more experience and would never be happy with me.

When my phone ringing woke me up from my nap I pick it up without looking at who it was.

"Hello?" I say my eyes still closed.

"You watching movies without me again?" Asks a smooth voice making me look at the caller ID.

Negan's name on the screen.

"Negan?" I ask wanting to hang up.

"The one and only. What are you up to?"

"Umm napping? Do you need something?"

"Yeah do me favor?"

"Umm okay?" I question, hearing a knock coming from my door.

"One second someone's at the door."

Standing up, still holding the phone to my ear, I unlock my front door and open it. I'm shocked to see Negan standing there holding a basket and roses.

"So about that favor." He says smiling.

"Umm hi." I say, dropping my arm.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes?" I say it sounding more like a question but I move out of the way nonetheless.

"You were watching a movie without me. That's a big no no." He says setting the basket on the coffee table.

"What's going on? Did Maggie put you up to this?" I ask, confused.

I close the door, getting a glance at myself in the mirror behind it.

My makeup was smeared and my hair was a rats nest.

"Why the hell would she do that?" He asks as I quickly try to detangle my hair.

I jump when Negan appears behind me. Touching my arm he turns me to face him his thumbs brushing the smeared eyeliner away.

"You look perfect." He says lifting the corner of his mouth in a smile.

Blushing I smile back.

"So-."

"Hush. Have dinner with me, then you can ask me questions."

Lacing his fingers with mine he pulls me to the couch.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I just don't know why you are here."

"I'm here because I made an ass out of myself and I'm gonna fix it." He says, pulling tupperware from the basket.

It was still steaming when he opened it showing spaghetti and meatballs.

"It's been a while since I've been in the kitchen so if it tastes like shit feel free to tell me." He says, setting out plates and glasses.

"You made this?" I ask wondering what's going on.

"Fuck yeah. I’m not like most assholes. I do know how to take care of myself."

"I didn't mean that. I just want to know what's happening."

"I told you I'm righting a wrong."

"You didn't do anything."

"You mean to tell me that you've been avoiding me for the hell of it?"

"What? I haven't.. Look I know you don't like me. I made things awkward last week and I'm sorry but you don't owe me anything."

"I don't like you? Darling you had me calling you like a damn schoolgirl. I made you fucking spaghetti and you think I don't like you?" He asks looking more amused than angry.

I blush and nod, shrugging.

"I'm nothing special."

"Maybe not to you but I think you're pretty damn special."

"How? You don't even know me?" I ask looking up at him.

"No because someone wouldn't answer my damn text. But I would like to get to know you. If you want to get to know me."

"Why wouldn't I want to get to know you?”

“Few reasons, I’m older than you for one I’m a fucking jackass for another.”

“I haven't thought about the age and all men are jackasses.” I say him let outing a chuckle.

Running his hand over his face he nods.

“I guess we fucking are.”

“It’s okay, somebody has to be.”

“You’re a little smart mouth aren't you.”

“I guess so.”

“You know I've had a few ideas on what to do with that mouth of yours”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” I say blushing.

“Oh I would be more than happy to teach you.” He says lifting his glass to his mouth and taking a drink.

“Go ahead.” I say shrugging.

“What?” He asks almost choking on his wine.

“That’s why you're over here right? I wouldn’t answer your calls so you came to see if you could get the one that got away.” I say being down this once before.

“I don’t understand the turn on of being a virgin but I’ve got to lose it at some point right.”

“Whoa, hold up, Y/n I didn’t come here to fuck you. Don’t get me wrong it would tickle me fucking pink to do so but I came here because I was a dick the last time we were together. You didn’t deserve it and I’m sorry.”

“So you came here just to apologize?”

“Not just to but that was the plan yes.”

“Well apology accepted you don’t have to stay here and make me feel good about myself.” I say standing up.

“Now hold on a damn minute.” Negan says grabbing my wrist stopping me.

Setting his drink down he stands up his grip never leaving me.

“If you want me to go hell darlin’, I’ll make sure you never fucking see me again. But something tells me you want me to stay. As a friend or a lover I don’t care which. If you’re worried about me fucking you on the counter I wouldn’t do that unless you asked me to.” He says making me blush and look away from him.

He grabs my chin and makes me face him.

“But here's my two cents whatever hell they are worth. I want to know you. You've been in my head all damn week and it’s driving me fucking nuts. So let's have dinner, watch a movie, talk.”

“But you don’t really want that.”

“What the hell do you think I want? Sex? Fuck yeah I want sex but I’m a big boy. I can control myself for as long as you want me to.”

Sighing I look at the table not knowing what to say.

“You think I’m gonna get bored don’t you?”

“I know you will. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex I just want it to be right. Not late night drunk sex or first date sex, or planned… I want something that’s not real…”

“Baby doll you just want something that is real. I’ll make you a deal. One week. Put up with my ass for one week afterwards if you wanna call it off no hard feelings.”

He says smiling kindly. Not like he was trying to sell me something he seemed to really want to give it a try. Whatever it was.

“A week of what?”

“Whatever you want.”

“A relationship…?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Why, why do all this for me?”

“Because I saw something in you and I wanna keep around for a while.”

“One week?” I ask not seeing the harm in one week.

“One week.”

“Okay.” I say earning a grin the one that makes his dimples dig into his cheeks.

After dinner Negan left but not before he kissed me goodbye. It was similar to the first one. Soft and sweet as if he didn’t want to break me. It was a contrast to his personality but I didn’t mind it. I actually enjoyed not having someone's tongue shoved down my throat.

The next day Negan took me out to a “real dinner” to his favorite diner. He was clearly relaxed there and it showed. I had fun watching him cut up with the cook and even more fun when he pulled me into a kiss.

He called me every night to tell me when he was going to bed. It always ending with him telling me to dream about him. I don’t know why but I felt like he enjoyed having someone to talk to just as much as I did.

I told Maggie about it because I had to her coming over Tuesday when Negan was there. She later texted me wedding plans saying me and Negan would make cute babies.

When Negan invited me over to his place Wednesday night I was nervous. Telling myself that he was already bored and ready to call this off. But when I walked into his open floor plan apartment I was shocked to find him in dressed in an apron.

“What’s going on?” I ask walking in and letting him take my jacket.

“I thought we could spend a night in if that’s okay with you.” He says his lips brushing my neck as he pulls it down my arms.

“Hey you said a whole sentence without saying fuck I’m proud.” I say earning a playful glare which I giggle to.

“So why am I dressed in clothes I can ‘get dirty in’?” I ask quoting the text he sent me at lunch.

“Because I’m going to teach you how to cook.”

“I know how to cook.”

“Cook something good.”

Sticking my tongue out at him, I follow him over to the kitchen realizing he is barefoot.

“Should I have taken my shoes off.”

“If that’s what you fucking want.”

“I’ma take my shoes off.” I say going back to the door and slipping my sneakers off.

“So what are we making?” I ask taking the apron he hands me.

“Kabobs.” He says helping me tie my apron behind my back.

“Sounds fun.”

“Do you want to chop the veggies or the meat?”

“I think I’ll take the veggies.”

“So I’ll handle the meat.” He says winking my cheeks tinting.

“Your a child.” I say earning a laugh.

“Yeah just like that.” Negan says looking over my shoulder as I start making my first kabob.

“So what made you pick this?” I ask picking up a pepper.

“It’s funny. I normally do it when the fucking games on to pass the time.”

“You are so much more down to earth then I thought.”

“Well fucking thanks.”

“No, I just mean I expected a player or something but you have these little nuggets of sweet in there.” I say bumping him with my hip.

“I’ll fucking take that.” He says picking up a pepper it braking when he tries to put it on his stick.

I let out a snort then a yelp when he throws it at me.

“No. We are not having a food fight.” I say throwing a mushroom at him.

“What if we fucking do?” He asks smirking throwing a cube of stake at me.

I squeal when it smacks my cheek getting marinade on my face.

“You smacked me with meat?” I ask before I think about it Negan’s face lighting when I do.

“I didn’t mean that!” I say as he starts laughing loudly.

“Negan stop.” I say my cheeks hot.

“I slapped you with meat and my dick was still in my pants.” He says belting out a laugh.

“Negan…” I say smiling despite the want to.

“That’s fucking great.” He says smacking his leg bent over.

“I have stuff on my face.” I say wiping at it.

“Let me see.” he says still chuckling but at least standing up.

Picking up a rag he brings it to my face but quickly moves down to lick my cheek making me blush and start laughing.

“That was so gross.”

“You fucking liked it.” He says wrapping his arms around me pinning my arms down and trapping me.

“Says you.”

“I could lick something else.” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes my heart picking up. Unable to go anywhere, not that I would want to, I accept the kiss pressed to my mouth.

Kissing him back him, he takes my bottom lip between his. One thing I've noticed is his kiss goes a little farther everytime he does it.

When his tongue brushes over my lip I timidly meet his with mine. The taste of spices and tonights choice of scotch fills my mouth as his tongue does. When his grip moves to settle around my waist, I wrap my arms around his neck. Pulling away from me he presses his forehead to mine letting us take a breath.

“We should finish dinner.” He mumbles clenching his jaw.

“Do we have to?” I ask, my stomach full of butterflies.

“Fuck no.”

Blushing I press my lips back to his, him reaching down to pick me up to carry me to his room for the night.

It wasn’t late night drunk sex, or first date sex and sure as hell wasn’t planned sex, but despite all that it was better than anything I could have wished for.

Something that turned into a one night fake date then to a week trail ended being the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t ask for it to happen any other way.

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''on the shore'' by otep

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shanedawsonfanfiction-blog · 7 years

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But I Am Not A Superhero. Chapter 2.

Chapter Two. November 22, 2017.

It had been a few days since Shane asked me to visit him and I told him that I would. I was sitting in the living room, in gray sweatpants, a black tank top and gray hooded sweatshirt. It was sort of chilly so my eight-something pound body was cold. My mother and Sophia had already left for work and school, so I was utterly all alone. Well, besides the pets, of course. I was watching ‘Live with Kelly and Ryan’ while I sipped my coffee when my phone dinged.

‘I wonder who that might be.’

I knew it wasn’t Shane because he went to bed an hour ago. I put my blue coffee cup down and grabbed my phone, then I looked at it. I had a Facebook message from my best online friend, Jennifer who lived in Salem, Oregon. She was a mother of an autistic sixteen year boy.

We met on a Harry Potter Facebook group about a year ago and we soon became very close, in so many ways I thought of her as a much older sister. I actually hadn’t messaged her in a few days because I was totality sidetracked by Shane and packing for my trip.

Jenn- Good morning, I haven’t heard from you in a few days, so I am checking on you. How are you? Are you doing okay? Did your depression hit you again?

I clicked on the message bar and typed out my message to her then I hit send.

Jessa- Hey! I am doing okay, just been kinda busy. I have huge news! No depression, I am actually happy.

I put down my phone next to my right thigh so it would be easier for me to pick it back up. I picked up my coffee cup and took some sips from it. I was kind of watching the show that was on. I never actually watched ‘Live’.

I just turned on the news in the morning when I got up around seven o’clock each morning then around eleven in the morning when ‘The View’ turned on that is when I would change the channel to ION so I could watch my crime shows for the rest of the day.

I have a very boring life. I thought to myself as I sipped my coffee.

I heard my phone ding again and I picked it up as I put my coffee cup down on the end table that was next to me on my left.

Jenn- Happy is good! Why are you happy? What is your news?

I smiled softly as I typed out my message with my two thin boney thumbs. People said that when they either got a message from me or saw me texting that said I typed really fast. Never knew why I typed fast, I just knew that I always typed fast.

Jessa- I am going to be in California for a while starting on Dec. 7th. I am very happy and very excited.

I didn’t tell her about Shane, because obviously she wouldn’t believe me. I mean come on, actually knowing a semi-famous person, yeah right. Nobody would believe me.

I picked up my coffee and took a few sips from it, I was finally waking up.

Bella jumped up next to me and put her little head on my lap, I petted her with my free hand, “I know, sweetie. You hate it when Momma is gone at work. She’ll be home later tonight, I promise.” I told her then stood up, “I’ll be right back.” I said as she gave me a sad look, “I said I will be right back.” I shook my head at her.

I walked to the bathroom and I did my business then washed my hands. I walked back out to the small hallway and tripped over Persephone’s sister, Lucy. She was a very pretty looking tuxedo short haired cat. Lucy was playing with a small orange pom-pom. I caught myself with a hand on the wall, “Silly cat.” I said softly then walked back to the couch.

Bella sat up so that I could sit back down in my spot, “Thank you for keeping my seat warm for me, sweetie-pie.” I patted her head, “Did my phone ding?” I asked her as if she could answer me, I knew perfectly well that she couldn’t. I checked it and saw nothing. I put my phone back down then pulled my legs up onto the couch so that I could get more comfortable.

I must’ve fallen asleep because when Bella and Tobias started barking at something I jerked awake, “What?” I asked, completely startled.

I looked out the huge bay window and saw the mailman walking off of the porch, “Oh shut up, he brings us nice things. He even brings you your toy box.” I said to the dogs. Bella got a monthly box called ‘Bark Box’. She would get two toys that fit her size and she would two or three full size bags of heathy treats.

I picked up my phone and unlocked it, to see if I gotten any messages while I was asleep. I realized that I slept for an hour when I looked at my phone. I had one new message from Jennifer waiting for me, so I clicked on it and read her message.

Jenn- Just you? Or are you going with your family?

I quickly typed out my message then hit send.

Jessa- I am going on my own! I am going to stay with a friend of mine for a while.

I grabbed my empty coffee cup and stood up, walked to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. Bella of course, followed me. When I reached the counter where the coffee maker was, she brushed against my right leg, letting me know that she was beside me.

“Hi, baby.” I said softly to her, “I know you gotta follow Momma and you follow me when she isn’t home, because you are still a baby at heart.” Bella was a five year old but still acted like a five month old.

I brewed myself a cup of coffee and added some Reese’s creamer then walked back to the living room.

Tobias was sniffing around the end table where my coffee cup was sitting on while I was sleeping, obviously looking for food or something to chew on. He was nearly a year old and still acted like a two month old.

“What are you doing?” I said to him raising my eye brows. He gave me that ‘I am a sad dog’ look and jumped down slowly, “Thank you.” I said as I sat down.

I drank my second cup of coffee as I thought of the things that I would bring with me to California. I knew that I would bring a few books, because I was almost always reading a book. I also knew that Shane was a night owl as I was an early bird, so most likely I would be alone in the early mornings, so I needed stuff to entertain me while he was asleep.

Then I thought of what I had in my black dresser drawer, I chewed my lower lip, I lost my coloring in my face, “Would Mom poke around my room while I am gone?” I asked out loud, knowing that the pets couldn’t answer me, “Or what about Sophia?” I made a face. She used to snoop around my room when I was out with friends, I knew this because stuff would be moved and whenever I asked my mother she would say it wasn’t her and I’d have my door shut so I knew it wasn’t any of the pets. So, obviously I was worried she’d find my X-rated drawer that I had in my bedroom.

I quickly left my seat on the couch and walked into my room and crouched down to open the bottom black dresser drawer, I grabbed my two glass dildos and my flesh colored nine inch realistic dildo then I placed them all in a plastic bag. Then placed the plastic bag in the blue bag that my other mindless stuff would be packed into, “Hopefully Shane won’t want to help me unpack. That would be awkward.” I muttered softly as I zipped up the blue bag that was besides my bed.

My mother knew about one of the glass dildos but she didn’t know that I added to the collection, so I was afraid that she would freak out and who knew what she would do with them.

I walked back out to the living room and found Bella’s face in my coffee cup, “There is nothing in there, you silly girl.” I told her shooing her from my spot on the couch.

‘What is with my pets and coffee?’

I heard my phone ding again, Jennifer must’ve messaged me again, so I looked at my phone and read the message then replied to her.

Jenn- That is amazing! You will have a great time.

Jessa- I hope so! I am kinda scared too but excited more than anything else.

After I replied to Jennifer, I watched mindless television for about an hour without any messages coming through, so I almost fell back to sleep.

About a half hour of trying not to sleep, I heard Shane’s ringtone. I found myself smiling as I answered it, “Hey, I thought you were going to sleep?” I asked, jokingly.

I heard him roll over and sheet covers rustle, so he was still in bed. I tried not to imagine him in bed, but it was hard. I wondered what he wore to bed. “I tried to but the ghosts wouldn’t let me.” He sighed heavily.

He had done a few videos talking about his three ghosts that he had at his house. One of the ghosts was a younger man, which actually followed him from his other house that he had with his mother. Another one was his grandma, and then the last was an older man that actually died in his house that he was living in now.

‘Creepy.’

So the ghosts that he had at his house weren’t that too dangerous, they were just pranksters and his grandma just kept a watchful eye on him. Even knowing about them, I still wanted to visit him. Unexplained noises and seeing dark shadows didn’t bother me like other “normal” people.

It was because I believed in ghosts. I have ever since I was a young child. When I was about nine years old, we lived in Novi, Michigan we were living in an apartment and I swore that my bathroom was haunted. It was always ice cold in there even when it was in the summer and I never felt alone in there when I was alone.

“Stupid ghosts.” I told him, folding my legs so that I was in a ball on the couch, “Did you know that in one of your many food videos that there was an orb that shoot across the counter behind you?”

Shane didn’t sound shocked, “My drunken foods video? Yeah, I saw the orb when I edited the video. I left that bit in the video to see if any viewers would spot it.”

“I remember you saying that Cheeto was hissing and meowing at you in the beginning of the video, well that was probably why. I know that animals can sense ghosts and whatnot.” I said to him as I watched Lucy and Persephone play around on the cream colored cat tree that was next to the huge bay window.

“I know. Cheeto can sense the ghosts in my house.” He said then he sighed then I heard him move covers from his bed then heard footsteps, “Give me a few seconds. I gotta pee.”

“I had heard you pee before, Shane. It had been years ago. So it’s okay.” I said, blushing slightly. Thankfully he made it so I couldn’t actually hear him. He probably put the phone to his chest or something.

In one of his older videos, he had peed kind of on camera. Don’t worry, none of the viewers could see anything that they shouldn’t have seen. If you get what I am trying to say, he wouldn’t been able to post that kind of video on YouTube. All the viewers could see was his face and nothing else. He was very open with his viewers.

The video in question was called ‘This Video Is Too Personal.’

I heard the flush then he washed his hands, “I am so tired but I need to finish editing videos and post the one for today.”

“You work a lot.” I said, sighing softly, “You post four videos a week and edit the ones you already videotaped. You have been doing YouTube for ten plus years without any major breaks. As I remember you always posted every day on all three of your channels for years.”

“Trust me, I am well aware.” He said laughing slightly, “I probably have the longest running YouTube channel ever.” I heard the coffee maker brewing so he was in his kitchen.

‘He was right, though. He made his first ‘Shane Dawson TV’ video in 2008 and he hadn’t stopped ever since.’

“That is fucking crazy. At least you love what you are doing. You do love what you are doing, right? I said, playing with a strain of my hair that was in my right eye and bothering me.

“Of course I do! I adore what I do on YouTube. Trust me, if I hated what I was doing, I’d fucking stop. But as of right now, I have no plans on stopping, maybe doing three videos per week instead of four.”

I heard him move the phone away from his mouth as he holler something to Uno and then I heard him feed both Cheeto and Uno, “Sorry about that, Uno was acting like an ass.”

“No problem, I understand.” I said smiling at Bella, who was looking at me with her Cocker Spangler looking ears raised slightly so that they looked like little furry pigtails. “My dogs are assholes at feeding times.” I looked at Persephone and Lucy who were fast asleep on the cat tree, “The cats are even more assholes than the dogs though.”

He heard his laugh again, “I get that, I had some cats that were assholes.” I heard him open a cupboard door and him setting a pan on his stove.

‘He was probably making himself breakfast. We made a weird pair, he ate his feelings while I drowned myself with galleons of coffee and hardly ever ate a full meal.’

I laughed with him, “Yeah. Cute, furry lovable assholes that have claws.” I petted Bella’s ears, “I’ll always be an animal lover. Maybe even be a crazy cat lady.”

“I could see that. You always said that you loved cats.” Shane said, “I wouldn’t mind having a houseful of dogs and cats.”

I laughed, twirling that same strain of my hair, “I also thought of something that we could do while I am there, we could have a horror movie marathon. I know you have a lot of great horror movies.”

“I do, so that sounds like a plan. Maybe we can start on the first night you get here.” He actually sounded excited and I couldn’t help it but I smiled, because it was so adorable.

“So that I would be too scared to sleep? Oh great idea, Shane.” I shook my head a little, “I do love horror movies but I don’t like watching them at night because I won’t be able to sleep.”

I could hear him talking softly to someone then I heard the sound of shopping bags or something like that, then he came back on the phone, “Sorry my weekly food delivery has just arrived. I’m back.”

“You get your food delivered for you?” I asked, half amused and the other half in shock as I shook my head a little.

“Yup, I just put what I want on a list and a person gets the food for me then delivers it to my house.” He said, putting away his food delivery away.

“I knew that you use Uber now but I didn’t actually you used that food delivery thing also. Perks of being rich, I guess.” I joked, standing up and walking to the kitchen, searching for something to snack on. Not because I was hungry but because I was bored.

“No, not because I am rich, you could use it too. It’s an app.” Shane said, balling up the bags, I had to pull away the phone from my ear as he did so because it was a loud noise. Then he threw the bags away, “It’s easier than actually going shopping and dealing with other customers. Now back to the subject of movies, you know damn well that I’d protect you at night. I wouldn’t mind wrapping my arms around while you tried to sleep either.”

My stomach did a cart wheel while my heart stopped and my mouth went dry. I had to remind myself to take a breath.

‘He was just messing around. You know, Shane just being Shane.’ I told myself shaking my head.

“Yeah, yeah.” I said as I found a four snack pack of chocolate puddings and I grabbed two then a spoon. I pealed one open as I walked back to the living room and took a few bites.

“What are you doing?” Shane asked, “You sound like you are hunting for food or something. Did I make you hungry?”

“Kinda, yeah. I am eating a few things of those pudding snack things.” I said as I scooped another mouthful and put it in my mouth, “I think a veteran group that gives us food sometimes gave us the pudding packages.”

“A veteran group?” Shane asked me.

“I thought I told you a while ago, my mother and father were in the Air Force, so Mom found a Facebook group bout a year ago to help us for things. Like for example, they helped us move. Like with people to move boxes and heavy things. Then every other weekend they send us a few boxes of food and other items like soap, shampoo, and toothpaste.”

“That is awesome. Please tell Momma Barnum that I say thank you for her service.” Shane told me then I heard the noise that an oven makes when you turned it on.

“Of course, I will.” I said, smiling softly, twirling the spoon in my hand, then took another mouthful.

“Oh, that is why you guys were in Germany! That makes sense now.” Shane exclaimed and I swallowed my mouthful of pudding before I laughed.

“Hey don’t laugh at me, missy. It’s early here and I haven’t gone to bed yet.” He said, I could him moving around and then I heard eggs cracking against the pan.

“You are making eggs?” I asked Shane.

“Yes, I am.”

I took another bite, finishing up my first pudding cup, “So you do know how to cook?” I asked jokingly, “From watching some of your videos, I was scared that you didn’t know how.”

“Actually, yes I do know how to cook. Mom taught me so I cook somewhat well, there is some things that I have trouble with, but all in all I’m a good cook.” He said after he laughed.

“That is great, I was worried we’d have Taco Bell every single night or something.” I joked again.

“Nah, not every night.” Shane said, I heard him moving around his kitchen, probably getting a plate and a fork for his eggs, “Trust me, I won’t starve you. You will be well fed while you are here.”

“I am glad, I am used to Mom’s homemade cooking.” I told Shane, then I heard a soft ding, telling me that I just got a message. I quickly put Shane on speakerphone so I could see who messaged me.

It was my mother.

Mom- Headed home, had a low blood sugar problem at work and they told me to go home. Want something to eat?

“I get that completely.” Shane said with his mouthful of egg.

I texted my mother as I spoke, “How is your breakfast? I love scrambled eggs with peppers and hot sauce.”

Jess- That’s scary. I am in the mood for Burger King. You know what I like from there.

“Yes, very good. What are you doing? I can hear you typing.” He asked with another mouthful of egg. It didn’t bother me that he talked with his mouthful of food.

“Mom texted me, so I texted her back. She had a low sugar problem at work and they sent her home for the rest of the day. She asked if I wanted anything to eat from anywhere.”

“That sounds awful. Is she diabetic?” He asked, concerned. My heart melted, knowing that he cared about my mother, even though he hadn’t even met her.

“Oh yeah, she is fine, she probably drank some orange juice or ate a few pieces of chocolate to raise it. She has had diabetes since she was pregnant with Sophia, so she knows what to do. Thank you for your concern about her, though. That means a lot to me.” I told him.

“Of course. She sounds like a badass. Serving in the Air Force, raising a physically disabled child completely on her own for most of your childhood, having diabetes. She raised you wonderfully, you are sweet but you can kick some ass if need be. You are well rounded you don’t have your hand out for things. You take risks and don’t wait for people to make things happen for you.”

I felt my cheeks reddening as he spoke, I ate my last pudding cup in four bites then took care of my trash, “Thank you.” I put my spoon in a bowl that had water already in it then walked back in the living room, I heard Mom pull into the driveway, “Mom is home now.”

I walked back to the living room so that I could grab Bela’s collar s it would a little easier when Mom walked into the front door with the fast food.

“Oh, do you want me to let you go?” Shane asked me, he sounded like he was outside in his backyard, probably taking Uno outside.

“Only if you want to.” I said softly, not really wanting to hang up, I actually could talk to him all day long, but I knew that he had other things to do.

“I feel dead on my feet, so I am going to try to sleep. Tell Momma Barnum that I say hi.” He said to me.

“Will do.” I told him then saw that Tobias ran to the front door like I feared, “Hey, Tob come back here.” I said to Tobias as my mother walked in and Shane said, “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, Shane. Bye.” I muttered softly.

“Bye Jess.” Then Shane hung up. I tossed my phone on the couch besides me, “Tob!” I hollered at him, getting upset that Tobias was not moving.

“Get back, dumb dog. Let me in.” My mother said, holding a Burger King fast food bag and a large soda. Tobias was bouncing around in tiny the entry way, not really letting my mother inside the rest of the house, luckily I had Bella so it wasn’t too jammed up for Mom to get inside the house.

“Tob! Move, you big dumb dog.” I hollered at him and then finally he laid back down on his blanket. Bella was still lying next to me because I still had a hold of her own collar so that she wouldn’t jump on Mom.

After Mom walked in and shut the heavy wooden door. I let Bella go so she could sniff Mom to see where she was before she got home.

“Was that Shane?” My mother asked me, pointing at my phone that was still lilt up and beside me. She smiling softly at me. I nodded my head, smiling back at her, “Yes it was.”

She handed me a large soda from Burger King, “I got you a burger, onion rings and an A&W root beer. All your favorites.” She sat down, kicking off her purple nursing shoes.

I took the soda and set it down on the end table besides my coffee cup as she put the bag on a wheeled tray that I used for all sorts of things, but I mainly used the tray to eat on.

“So, do you still like him?” My mother asked me, I bit my lower lip as I unwrapped my burger, utterly silent. My mother eyed me, “Oh Jess, you do! Why can’t you just admit it to yourself? He is a nice guy, also not bad on the eyes.”

“Mom! He is my age that is just gross!” I wrinkled my nose then I pretended to gag.

She gave me a side look, “I meant for you. He seems to like you also.”

I cocked my head at her, grabbing the messy burger, “Mom, please stop. He is just a friend. A very best friend. Nothing more, so shut up.” I said then took a bite.

“I am not blind, Jessa. I can see it, you do have feelings for him. You’ve always had feelings for him.” She said as Bella jumped on her lap and she wrapped her arms around Bella, “Hey sweetie. Yes, Momma is home for the rest of the day.”

“Fine.” I sighed, “Sure. I like Shane, but he’ll never like me back.” I shook my head as I swallowed my bite, pushing back my bit of hair that flopped into my eye as I shook my head, “He said a long time ago that he thought of me as a younger sister. Would you ever want to date someone who you thought of as a sibling?”

She wrinkled her thin nose, “Oh. Well, it had been years since you two had talked. Feelings can change. He did suggest for you to visit him, not any of his other friends.”

I thought of what she just said, chewing my food. She did have a point, like most mothers. He did suggest for me to visit, none of his local friends, none of his guy friends. He asked me. His female friend that he had for years.

‘Maybe his feelings changed, but how? We hadn’t talked in years.’

It was around three o’clock and I was waiting for Shane’s new video to be posted. I already knew what it was about because he had tweeted about it and told me over a phone call. In the video was about him selling a very used pair of his underwear. He just wanted to see how much the bidding would up to in a twenty-four hour period.

I clicked the refresh button my YouTube webpage that I had open on my laptop and saw that his video was there on top. He just posted it!

I clicked on it and watched it with my headphones in. I had learned fairly early on that if I watched any of his videos I needed headphones, because one day when I was twenty-three I had thought I was home alone so I decided not to have headphones in while binge watched Shane’s videos. Unfortunately I wasn’t home alone, Step Father Number Two was home and rushed into my room, thinking I was watching gay porn.

How embarrassing!

So yeah, no matter what, I always had headphones in while I watched his videos, just to be careful. After I watched the video I decided to text Shane, to tell him that I watched his most recent video.

Jessa- I just saw the underwear video, I can’t believe you were able to post that bid for a little while, till they contacted you to tell you to take the bid down.

It wasn’t even ten minutes later and he was calling me, I answered it right away, “Hi, I just texted you because I didn’t want to bother you if you were filming or something.”

“No problem, if I am filming I tend to have the sound off on my phone so it won’t be in the video. So did you like the video?” Shane said.

I walked to my bed and flopped backwards, landing on the middle of the bed, “I liked it. It was a little different from your usual videos. Thankfully you used a better pair of your underwear.” I smiled to myself, remembering when he did a closet tour one year and showed all of his holey underwear.

‘Ew!’

“I had those pair since before I dated Lisa.” He said, laughing a little, “So they are very used.”

“If eBay didn’t call you and ask you to take the bid down, would you actually give them away?” I asked him, full of curiosity.

“No, I was actually thinking of taking the post down before I got the call.” Shane said, “It was a joke that got out of hand. Besides I wouldn’t know what to do with that sort of money.”

‘Shane was being humble. I loved that.’

Having fame didn’t get into his head and change him in any way, like most ‘YouTube celebrities’. He was the same old Shane before his fame hit. He didn’t even consider himself as a celebrity. But he did have two #1 hit books, he had a well-known movie and merch. He was even mentioned in a few gossip videos on a few gossip YouTube channels.

“You could’ve saved it and used it while I visit, or gave it away to charity, or gave it to Momma Yaw.” I said, listing just a few choices for him, “Momma Barnum would’ve fainted if you gave it to her.”

“You got a point.” Shane said softly, “Oh well, the post is gone. I might bid another item of clothing or something else though, so who knows.”

“Maybe your conspiracy theory shirt.” I suggested to him.

“That would be cool.” He agreed with me.

We were still talking on the phone and it was close to midnight my time, I was sitting next to black wooden short bookshelf, debating on which books I’d be taking with me. I already had a small pile of books on my bed. The pile had my copies of the Harry Potter series, The Lord of the Rings, The Fault In Our Stars, I had added the saga called The Crossfire Series, they were like the Fifty Shades series, but slightly different, then lastly in the pile a few books I had gotten from my nocturnal book box that I gotten every month.

“I can hear you mumbling to yourself, what are you doing?” Shane asked me.

“I am debating on what sort of books I should bring with me.” I told him, putting the small pile of books in my blue bag.

“You are actually bringing books?” Shane said, dumbfounded. Shane hardly ever read books and yet he wrote two on his own. “Why? I won’t leave you alone, so you don’t need to bring things to entertain yourself.”

As he said that my eyes locked onto the plastic bag of sex toys and I blushed a deep red, “I know but I am an early bird and you are a night owl, what will I do while you are dead to the world?”

“Watch television or movies, play with Cheeto or Uno...” He laughed slightly, “Bring whatever you want, Jess. I was just messing with you.”

I removed The Fault In Our Stars and put it in my oversized purse that I was going to use as my carry-on, “I know you were messing with me.” I got up and pushed back my bed covers then climbed in, “I am getting tired, but I don’t want to stop talking to you.” I admitted softly, blushing.

I heard Shane sit on one of his couches, “We could stay on the phone until you fall asleep or we can stay on the phone till the morning.” He suggested to me, then he took a gulp of something, knowing him, it was most likely soda.

“We can stay the phone until the morning, only if you want.” I muttered softly, getting comfortable in bed.

“That sound like a wonderful plan.” Shane said.

So we did that, we talked some more until my eyes finally gave up and closed.

#shanedawson #shaneyaw #shanedawsonfanfiction #fanfic

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