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#i'm usually not this precise about tags but!!! i feel like this is important information
rainiiis · 5 months
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WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME????? THAT MY FAVOURITE BOOK EVER, NO LONGER HUMAN BY OSAMU DAZAI. HAD A PREQUEL. BY THE SAME AUTHOR. ABOUT THE SAME GUY. CALLED THE FLOWERS OF BUFFOONERY ????
anyways I ordered it I'll update
it better break me as hard as No Longer Human did ifstg
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seawitch62 · 2 years
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You never know who will turn up at a convention.
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       The Convention.
*literature in the form of prose, especially short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people*
*fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.*
                ✍✍✍
The Convention, a K-Pop one to be precise, is today. The attendance should be bearable as no idols ever attend these smaller conventions for these consist  of merchandise vendors and panels. The fan writers panels are usually fun and light and entertaining. Mixing and mingling with like minds but keeping anonymity, sitting amongst the crowd, watching and taking it all in.
Circulated rumours surfaced that the idols attend incognito of course, so they can be amongst their supporters.
Rumours fly and hopes are dashed when they are not realized. Personally I think it would be very awkward and ultra embarrassing to be face to face with these guys.
"Oh hello my name is so and so I'm a big fan, I actually write fanfics about you, the usual smut and yandere" yeah right that would be real pleasant, also what if they are complete assholes!
Illusions evaporated in the blink of an eye. I prefer fantasy, that's why I write. My writing keeps me occupied out of mischief, I will not win the Pulitzer prize that's for sure, and if I have to critique my own stories, well they lack description, depth and tend to be short my writing execution leaves a lot to be desired, in fact my English teachers would have kittens, but alias I  know this, it's just for fun, light entertainment.
My ideas, some have said they are weird I call imaginative, so I guess we will  beg to differ in that.
The stories are just light bulbs that flicker till the power surges with all its might. 
If I'm honest the characters are just that, not depictions of any real person or situation, just borrowing their image and name to add, to juice things up.
Honestly just chess pieces moving around at my will through the mental board.
Not looking to be discovered or have the spotlight of fame focused in my direction, just the pleasure of my own accomplishment is sufficient.
Hiding some may say lurking in the shadows of the invisible.
Strolling through the vendors floor, the creativity is spectacular. The artwork, the merchandise outstanding, my stories pale in comparison to the creativity of these artists. I wish I could draw or paint but kindergarten children are equal to my artistic talents.
Know your limitations I always say.
'Oh well' least I can admire their works.
The panel was running smoothly, mentioning the importance of correct tagging, a summary and warnings. All in a nice clear informative panel. 
"Question time"
Those with questions came to the mic, neat and orderly. 
Although he seemed to be covering his face, his height was five foot  ten? and his masculine stance did not hide the fact of his gender. He seemed impatient shifting from his left to his right foot, antsy, or just someone impatiently awaiting his turn. 
When it was his turn he calmly and clearly spoke into the mic.
"I'm particularly interested in the smut and yandere stories they keep me and my friends entertained"
Gasps and whispers and mutterings around the room
"It can't be?" "Is it him?"
Noticing he was causing a stir, he looks around the room, mentally making a decision, he removes his mask.
"Seonghwa!"
His name is uttered around the enclosed room. Woos and ahhs and Sighs fill the hormonal atmosphere.
The panel quickly assessing the situation asked Seonghwa to join them, "my pleasure".
Again the occupants of the room feel his presence, his smile has their pulses racing.
The awkward moment when many on the panel realize they are sitting with the guy they had written many stories about.
This is a guy very comfortable in his own skin, he looks in the mirror, he knows what he sees and he knows what it does to others. A very forthright direct guy. 
Taking control over the panel, "the  guys and myself read some of your stories, time permitting of course!"
"I personally am intrigued by the yandere smut" as he fidgets with his dom ring. 
"One in particular caught my attention" He states the story title and writer's profile handle.
Squirming in the chair, first off who in a million years would think he would be here, Seonghwa in the flesh! Wow!
Now he has taken over the panel.
'Oh God!' He's talking about my story! Yeah I was pleased with it, imaginative sexual exploits, Seonghwa meets  nine and half weeks meets fifty shades of grey.
I never conceived he would read it, let alone mention it.
I could die of embarrassment on the spot.
"I'm curious is the author of that story present today?" He asks in a voice dripping honey droplets.
Silence reigns supreme, time stands still, then mayhem breaks.
Raised hands wave in unison "me me!" "It's me!"
Seonghwa indulgently  scans the crowd; he expected nothing less.
"Of course I will need to verify"
He tells his captivated  audience.
"Phones out now! Tumblr app open" 
This guy is unbearable. I'm not staying, show him my phone because he dictates so! I think not! 
Insufferable ass! Who in the hell does he think he is?
Why didn't I sit on the seats near the aisles or doors? Damn it!
Finally making my way through the sea of knees.
"Leaving the panel?" 
Oh god he is right behind me.
Turning around facing him directly, "yes".
"Show me your phone!"
"I will not!  go to hell!"
A look of mental confirmation glides across his handsome features.
Leaning forward he whispers "it's you!" 
Blushing red as any tomato affirms his accusation.
Seizing my hand, his grip like a vise, "excuse us ladies and gentlemen" and he walks directly to the door.
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"Let go of me!"
"You and I are going to enjoy a nice cup of coffee, and then I'm going to show just how Dom I am".
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emma-nation · 3 years
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The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU) - Chapter 7
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“Step inside, see the Devil in I”
Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.
In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.
“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”
Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x f!OC
Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)
Tag List: @nydeiri
Notes: Thank you for all the reviews, follows and likes! It means a lot to me.
Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.
Castle Dimitrescu, Guest Room - Present Days
Two days had passed and I was still trying to process what was happening. How could my life change so drastically again? I could no longer count on my twin brother, who I considered to be my best friend, the person I trusted the most in the entire world. I was filled by the same emptiness, the same sorrow I felt when my mother died. My life was in the palm of his hands and he was letting me go.
"Relax your shoulders, love," Bela whispered softly in my ear. "You're so tense."
Bela was the only person who still made me smile in the middle of all that chaos. She was helping me to find any clues in the diaries, about Miranda and about Auryk too. But for that, we had to work really fast.
We were sneaking back in the village everyday, it wasn't safe to bring those notes to the castle where Bela's mother and sisters could easily find. I prayed the weather wouldn't change and temperatures remained high. In another case, we wouldn't be able to go to my house again and my time with Lady Dimitrescu was running out.
Meanwhile, we were also working on overcoming my intimacy issues. Being intimate without having sex yet. First, we undressed each other completely. I had to know her body and allow her to know mine. I looked at the perfection of Bela's features for a second, before I was invaded by a mix of embarrassment and discomfort. It was the first time I was seeing a woman, completely naked, in front of me.
When I looked at her again, she was gazing at my body like if she was admiring a masterpiece in an art exhibit. At first, I was shy. I blushed and crossed my arms, as if I had any reasons to hide myself. Bela smiled. In that moment I knew she was appreciating me and that made me feel better.
"You're gorgeous, aren't you?" Bela lifted up my chin, forcing me to look at her, to see it in her eyes she was being truthful on her words.
"No more than you," I gathered some courage to move forward and extend my hand, touching a little bit of her soft skin, her arms, her chest, her stomach... then I stopped.
"This is okay," she assured me. But she understood that, in that moment, it was enough for me.
We both entered the bathtub, where I positioned myself in front of Bela and allowed her to take care of me. She gently rubbed my body with a sponge, starting by my back. Then, she moved to my front, rubbing my breasts, my stomach, my tights. Though we were in silence, she seemed to understand my limits, my barriers. Noticing how stressed I looked, she decided to give me a massage. I relaxed my shoulders as she told, focusing myself completely on our moment together.
"It's my turn," I told her. "Let me take care of you?"
Bela nodded and switched positions with me. I offered her the same treatment she gave me, but I wasn't so confident, so precise. My shaking hands would often betray me and I was unsure if I was being too gentle or too rough. Yet, she seemed to be enjoying it. I gave a special attention on washing her hair, it was so beautiful, so soft. The way it barely grew on the spot around her scar was a sin. I hated Miranda even more for that.
She rested her head against my chest as I continued to massage her scalp.
"Does it hurt?" I softly traced her scar with my finger.
"It stings sometimes," she sighed.
"I'm sorry."
"Does it hurt?" Bela repeated my gesture, tracing the scar on my forearm.
"No," she never asked, yet I felt I should tell her how it happened. "Adrian told me he found me in the basement cutting myself, right after my mom died. But I don't remember."
"Trauma can block some painful memories."
I knew that very well. I realized how little I remembered the days after my mother's death. My last memory was seeing her mangled body being carried inside our house. Nothing else. I didn't remember her burial or if I managed to say goodbye. I couldn't remember if we had people visiting us or if I was alone with my father. Everything about those terrible days was a blur.
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Castle Dimitrescu, Office - Present Days
When Lady Dimitrescu called her daughters for a private meeting that morning, Bela couldn't help feeling anxious and scared. Her mother was usually a woman of her word, but when it came to her reputation with Mother Miranda, she'd become completely blind by rage. Alcina really believed her when she suggested Aleena's brother could be responsible for stealing the Lords and also for the attack to the castle, even when the evidences pointed to the opposite.
"I told you so," while they waited outside, Cassandra was smirking deviously. She was determined to do anything to annoy Bela right in the morning. "It won't well for you. Our mother can't betray Mother Miranda and the other Lords because you've fallen in love with a stupid human girl."
"Shut up," Bela decided she wouldn't give in to her provocations. It was Cassandra's favorite manner to extract information from her. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Do you think we're stupid?" Still, her sister wouldn't stop. "Everyone, except for our mother, has noticed already. Me, Daniela, even Mrs. Volkov. Tell me, Bela. Will you keep pretending when we serve her on a silver plate tonight?"
Bela advanced in her sister's direction. Cassandra quickly dissolved into flies, she did the same. The corridor was a mess of flying insects and buzzing for a few minutes, before they had to shape back into their bodies. Now, she'd finally have the chance to inflict her sister some pain. She pinned Cassandra against the wall.
"Stop, you two," Daniela tried to intervene. "What the hell are you doing?"
Cassandra tried to throw a punch, but Bela was a little faster on her reflects, she grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm.
"What's your problem, Cassandra?" Bela angered. "You can't stand the idea she wasn't one of your trophy maidens, isn't it? Just leave me alone. Leave her alone too."
In that moment, they heard the door opening. Lady Dimitrescu appeared in the corridor, with an ugly snarl on her face.
"What the hell is going on here?" She yelled. "I thought I had daughters, but then I come here and you two are fighting like animals."
Daniela sighed relieved. This time, she wasn't included.
"I'm sorry, mother," Cassandra straightened her dress. "It's Bela who's being a bitch."
"You started it," Bela tried to grab her hair, but she deflected. "You're insulting me from the moment I arrived."
"The three of you! In my office, now!"
Bela couldn't feel guilty this time. Something inside her had changed. She didn't care if her mother was disappointed at her behavior, absolutely no one would touch Aleena. Especially Cassandra.
"It's all about that girl, mother," the middle sister proceeded to tell Alcina. "Bela is in love with her. They've been making out around the castle all the time."
"And this is none of your goddamn business!"
"It is, when your actions are putting us all in danger! Her brother..."
"Stop!" Lady Dimitrescu shouted, making they both go silent. "Is it going to be like this anytime a new woman steps inside this castle?"
No. Not for Bela. She didn't care about other women. Cassandra could have them if she wanted, as long as she stayed away from her girlfriend.
"I agree," Cassandra continued. "It has to end. I vote that we drain her tonight."
"CASSANDRA!" Alcina punched the desk, making her stop instantly. "I didn't call you here to talk about this girl."
A part of Bela was relieved, but she when her eyes crossed with her mother's, the feeling of anxiety started growing inside her. Now she knew about her relationship with Aleena. And her sisters too. She couldn't predict how they'd react.
"I'm going to another meeting with Mother Miranda tonight. I expect to find this castle intact when I return. If I discover my daughters are fighting in my absence, I'll be truly disappointed."
"Yes, mother," Daniela said. "No one is going to fight anymore. Right?"
Cassandra rolled her eyes at the youngest sister. Bela only gave her an annoyed look.
So that was the reason of their visit to Lady Dimitrescu's office. For now, Aleena was safe. They still had a few days to gather information about Mother Miranda and whatever she was planning. Bela was about to leave after her sisters when her mother called her back. She froze.
"Bela, you stay. We need to talk."
"Yes, mother?" She sat in front of her mother again.
"What were you and Cassandra fighting about?"
"I-I... uh, it's true. I'm in love with Aleena."
Bela decided it was time to stop lying. After all her mother was the person she trusted the most in this world, besides Aleena. Lady Dimitrescu stared at her face emotionless. Bela couldn't figure out what she could be thinking. She looked down, avoiding her mother's intense gaze.
"It's different this time," she explained. Although Alcina never bothered when they got involved with women, she hated the mess it usually caused. Sometimes Cassandra would slaughter her partners in her bedroom or some other place too hard to be cleaned. Daniela fell in love too easily, always having her heart broken when she discovered the subject of her affection was only using her to escape the castle and the fate every servant usually had. In this process, a lot of other things would break too. Such as the castle's furniture and the servant's bones. "I'm doing things right. I even asked her to be my girlfriend."
Bela wouldn't get involved with women so often as her sisters, but when she did, it surely never ended well. They'd become disappointed when they found out she didn't reciprocate their feelings. There would be a lot of arguing, tears and some of them would even dare to call her mother for a talk. In the end, they always died anyways.
She had never been in love before. Until now.
"Girlfriend?!" Lady Dimitrescu eyes widened in surprise and she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. Bela finally knew what what her mother should be thinking about. The woman she once loved. "Oh Bela..."
"She makes me happy, mother. Like I've never been before."
"And this is exactly what concerns me, daughter. You know how it ends."
"It doesn't have to end that way. I'm controlling my instincts very well and..."
"But she's human and young. She's going to study abroad, meet new people who are just like her. Then, she'll forget you ever existed."
That was the one thing Bela had accepted since the moment she decided to kiss Aleena. Soon, they'd be saying goodbye and there would be nothing left for her, only the memories. Yet, it was worthy. Every moment by Aleena's side was precious.
"I know that," she assured Lady Dimitrescu. "Mother, the only thing I want is your word you're letting her go by the end of this week. Whatever her brother did, Aleena's innocent."
"Okay, daughter," her mother's hand touched hers. The corners of her mouth curled up in a small smile. "I promise you. As long as you promise me you and Cassandra will stop fighting."
"Okay, I'll ignore her provocations. I promise."
"You know your sister, Bela. Cassandra is very attached to our family. She's only jealous most of your attention is being dedicated to Aleena."
"Yeah, I know."
Bela held her mother's hand and smiled back at her.
"Girlfriend..." she was still muttering to herself and shaking her head in denial as Bela stood up and started to walk away. "Well, I suppose there were worse options."
As she opened the office's door, ready to leave, Alcina spoke:
"Bela, take care."
"I will."
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Castle Dimitrescu, Guest Room - Present Days
I asked my breakfast to be served in my room. Going to the dining room all by myself was pointless, as Bela and her sisters were reunited with their mother in her office. I wondered what they could be discussing. Was it about me or Auryk?
Anyways, our time was running out. I only had until the end of the week to prove my brother's innocence and expose Miranda's betrayal against the Four Lords. There was only one problem, if Auryk wasn't stealing from the Lords, he wasn't involved in something good either. The manner he spoke to me on the phone, it seemed dangerous and secretive.
And there was Bela. Everytime I remembered the page I ripped off from those diaries I'd feel my chest tightening a little bit. I wouldn't let my brother, and whoever he was working for, lay a finger on her. From the moment I arrived, she was nothing but sweet to me. She always did everything to protect me and I was willing to do the same.
Mrs. Volkov entered the room, bringing a tray of food. She locked the door behind her.
"Ms. Novak, I'd like to speak to you in private for a moment," she asked.
I nodded in agreement.
"I couldn't help noticing Ms. Bela coming and leaving this room very often lately."
"Yes," now I could understand why Cassandra was always threatening the staff with her knifes. Even if Mrs. Volkov was trying to protect me, what I did inside my room was none of her business. I feared she'd tell Alcina. "We're working on a personal issue of mine. And I'd appreciate if this information stays between us only."
"My mouth is shut, Ms. Novak. I only beg you to be careful, I've seen many girls like you going missing or being dragged to the dungeons after getting involved with the mistress' daughters."
Of course she had to remind me of the fact my girlfriend probably has had enough partners to fill both sides of a book page.
"Thank you for your concern."
And of course she had to run right into 'Ms. Bela' as she opened the door to leave.
"Mrs. Volkov," she greeted, polite as she always was. Sometimes I wondered if Bela was so well mannered even when she was killing her victims. "Is there anything wrong?"
"Everything's fine, Ms. Bela. I was only serving Ms. Novak her breakfast."
"Thank you. I suppose we're good for now. I call you if we need anything else."
Bela shut the door, immediately forcing the woman to go away. I asked her to lock it, just in case.
"Good morning, love," she sat by my side at the table and pressed a kiss on my cheek. "I hope you saved me some because I'm starving."
"Hey, didn't you just have breakfast with your mom?"
"Not actually, I refused it. I was waiting to have breakfast with you, like we do every morning."
She smiled, causing butterflies in my stomach.
"Aren't you sweet?" I was kinda expecting her to come. I even asked Mrs. Volkov for an extra cup and plate. I passed it to Bela. "I was hoping you'd come."
I retributed her kiss.
"So, what are doing today?" She wanted to know. "Are we coming back to your house? Or would you like to do something different?"
"I wish, but we have to finish reading the diaries. I only have a few days left before your mom decides what she wants to do to me."
"I spoke to her. She's letting you go by the end of the week."
"Is she?" I asked, to be sure.
Bela nodded in response.
I should be happy with the information, Lady Dimitrescu wasn't going to kill me after all. But I wasn't. I was expecting her to protest and keep me as a prisoner for weeks, months, maybe years as it seemed Auryk wasn't coming back. I wanted to be stuck in that castle for the rest of my life, as long as I had Bela by my side.
"She has a meeting with Mother Miranda tonight," she added. "She usually doesn't come back until the morning. We should do something special."
"Like what?"
"Like a date?"
The concept of having a date was a little bit difficult when you lived in a village that wasn't even in the maps Your options were very limited: going to the nearest town, going to the pub or do something at home. The first two options could not end well as we'd be going too far from the castle or if any villagers recognized Bela.
We could stay in my house and order some food, there was this restaurant in town that would deliver even in that hellhole of a place. We could also watch movies and make out on the couch.
Maybe more. I was desperate for more. Especially now I knew we'd be separated soon. I wanted to enjoy every second of your moments together. Yet, I was insecure. I couldn't help thinking of Mrs. Volkov comment regarding Bela's level of experience.
"I think I have something in mind," I grabbed Bela's hand. "Ready?"
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Eastern Europe, Aleena's House - Present Days
We rod to the village as were doing every day. I was always concerned some other villager could see me and recognize me. At this point, everybody should know about what happened to me. They'd instantly connect the dots if they saw Bela. When we arrived to my house again, I was relieved. Almost. Until I saw the front door had been forced open.
"Oh fuck," I quickly took my daggers before taking another step into the house. "Somebody broke into my house. They may still be in there."
Bela took some kind of blade from her boots too.
"What? I have my tricks too, love." She asked, noticing I was surprised. "Cassandra isn't the only good hunter."
We carefully opened the door. Before I could even do anything, Bela grabbed me and covered my mouth. Her senses were probably detecting something nearby.
"Shhhh," she pointed to her ears. "I can hear something... in the basement."
"But not all of us are vampires," I muttered. When I noticed, Bela had already vanished, turning into flies. I followed her to the basement, after grabbing a rifle. Before I even got there, I already heard a male voice screaming.
"What the fuck?! What are you freaks even doing here?!"
I recognized it before I could even see the figure. But I waited until I was downstairs to confront him.
"Heisenberg. I could ask you the same," I spoke, pointing the rifle at him even if I knew it was useless. "What are you doing here?"
"You," he turned around from the hidden cabinet where the weapons were stored. "Weren't you trapped at Lady Super Sized Bitch's castle?"
"Have some respect talking about my mother," Bela shaped back into her body. "Not that she has any talking about you. So I guess you both are even."
"Oh great, and you brought one of the daughters with you. At least it's the decent one."
"Are you going to explain what you're doing in my house?" I angered. There was a good reason of why that man was there again. Coincidentally when he had a meeting with Miranda later that day. "Let me guess. You're searching for something to take to the Highest Bitch In Charge tonight. Am I right?"
"Wait, wait..." Heisenberg showed his hand as a sign of truce. I lowered the rifle. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Are you searching for something to take to Mother Miranda in the meeting tonight? Because many things are going missing, under mysterious circumstances that are strangely connected to her."
"Do you think Mother Miranda is the one stealing from the Lords?"
I told him about my conversation with Auryk and his suspicions about Miranda's involvement in the situation.
"I knew it!" Heisenberg kicked away an old wooden chair, shattering it to pieces. I shot Bela a confused glance but she also had no idea of what was going on. "I fucking knew it! She's been plotting against us. I always warned my siblings this day would come but they never believed me."
"We're searching for evidence against her," I explained. "To find out what's her plan. Do you have any ideas?"
"Are you sure you can trust her?" He pointed at Bela. "Her mother is the one who kisses Miranda's ass the most. After Moreau, of course."
"Absolutely," I told. "Bela's with me on the matter."
"Sit down, the two of you, and I'll tell you what I know."
We sat on the armchairs we had down the basement. Heisenberg pulled a bottle of whiskey from one of Adrian's secret hideouts. He was about to take a sip directly from the bottle, but I made him serve all of us. Something told me I'd need alcohol to deal with that conversation.
"All these years serving her and we're only her tests subjects, girl. We were all declared a failure upon bitch Miranda's eyes. Me, Lady Super Sized Bitch, the Moronic Freak, the Ugly-Ass Psycho Doll and even this..." Bela scowled at him, letting him know she wouldn't appreciate any offensive nicknames he could have for her, "this girl and her sisters. We're trapped in this village, being forced to decades of humiliation and servitude."
"Are you telling me you don't worship Miranda like your siblings and the villagers?" I tried to understand.
"No!" Heisenberg shouted. "Can't you see? She has taken everything from me. My humanity, my dignity! And now she has found the perfect vessel for her experiments, she's planning to get rid of us."
I drank the entire cup of whiskey in one sip. I looked at Bela, I could see that deep down she shared the same feelings for Miranda as Heisenberg. She tried to follow me, but judging by her face, she wasn't used to that kind of drink.
"I know what it feels like," she took off her helmet, showing the scar on her head and also the tattoo. "I also hate how she treats my mother and she's always too blind to see it. Whenever she returns from a meeting, I can read it on her face. She's disappointed at herself. She's miserable. She's always feeling she isn't enough for Mother Miranda's purposes."
"Fuck! This is what I'm talking about! Look what she's done to you. Don't you think it's time we end this?"
"Okay," I interrupted their moment of mutual pain. "She really fucked up with you guys, so we need to find a manner to stop whatever she's planning."
"Your father," Heisenberg pointed to me. "That bastard also shared my feelings of revenge and hate against that bitch, but for some reason he never accepted to join forces. I knew he had some diaries that contained some important information, do you happen to know where they are?"
Before I could answer, Bela stepped in and spoke for me.
"This is what we've been searching for," she lied. She looked at me, giving me a signal we shouldn't trust Heisenberg completely yet. "Apparently, Aleena's brother has taken it with him."
"And where's the little criminal?"
"I don't know," I said. "Last time we spoke he was acting shady as fuck. Whatever he's involved with, it's not good."
"Hmmm, drugs probably."
"No! I'm pretty sure my brother isn't... what's a vessel, by the way? You said Miranda has found a perfect one for her experiments."
"A person who can achieve a perfect mutation," it was Bela who answered my question. "One without any flaws, any side effects. Unlike me, the Lords or any person that has turned into a Lycan."
"Exactly," Heisenberg added. "One with a body that will be able to revive her daughter."
"What the fuck..." I always knew Miranda was crazy, but not at that point. All those years, she had been misleading the villagers, the Lords only for her personal uses. "And who's this person? Where are they?"
"I don't know, kid. This is what I'm trying to find. If I destroy the vessel, there will be no ritual. And with the right proof in hands I can lead a rebellion against Miranda."
"You can count on me," I extended my hand to Heisenberg. "If I discover anything, I let you know."
"Smart girl," he shook my hand. "You'll have my full support if you need to escape that demonic castle."
"She doesn't!" Bela angered. "Mother is letting her go."
"Okay. If you need anything else then..." Heisenberg shrugged. Then he looked at Bela. "What about you, little Dimitrescu girl? Can we count on you?"
"Of course," she also extended her hand. "But you can't comment a word about this meeting with my mother tonight. She trusts Miranda above anything, she's going to blow up our plans."
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Eastern Europe, Aleena's Bedroom - Present Days
While Aleena was taking a shower, Bela caught herself reading the diaries they found. Such a skilled predator should be proud of her achievements. The reports about her family were gruesome, terrifying, tragic. They were called many things, 'witches', 'monsters', 'abominations'...
"Psychotic bitches," definitely the most creative, a name given by Adrian Novak. Bela never had a personal encounter with Aleena's father, but she had definitely heard nasty stories about him, through Lady Dimitrescu and through Aleena herself. She thought of an appropriate nickname for him too and smirked. "Stupid manthing."
She closed the diary and walked to the mirror. Aleena told her to wear one of her clothes. She looked like a normal girl, one of Aleena's age, maybe two or three years older.
If it wasn't for that scar. That damn scar. When she woke up after the transformation, one of the first things she did was asking her mother how she had gotten it. Was it the reason she died? Later, she found out it was the reason why she was still alive. Something had been implanted in her brain, to transform her into... that. What about that tattoo? Young people had tattoos everywhere but certainly not on their foreheads. She was marked as one of the Dimitrescu daughters. Wherever she went, people would recognize her by that. Especially in the village. Countless times she and her sisters had caused panic among those people.
This was why Aleena couldn't take her out for a date. She couldn't take her to the pub, to meet her friends and do other things couples usually did. Bela clenched her fists in rage and frustration.
"Hey," Aleena left the bathroom, wrapped around a towel. "Sorry for taking so long. You look amazing, by the way."
Before heading to her wardrobe, she passed through Bela and planted a small kiss on her lips. She could live like that forever.
In fact, if the weather suddenly changed and the temperature dropped by the next day, she'd be stuck with Aleena in that house for days, months or even years. She could cook and clean the house while she was out for work. She could even find a manner to earn some money herself. She could be an artist and sell paintings. Or maybe a writer, she was a good one. Maybe she even had money already, after all she was the Countess' eldest daughter.
The idea excited Bela a lot... until she looked at Aleena's desk. If she was stuck in that house with her, she'd be giving up on her dreams of living in California and study in that Art Institute. And Aleena deserved that. More than any person she ever met.
It wouldn't last and she knew it. She always knew it.
"Selfish psychotic bitch," she muttered to herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.
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Eastern Europe, Aleena's Living Room - Present Days
I couldn't take my mind off my conversation with Heisenberg. I didn't even know how I was supposed to feel. I already hated Miranda before, but now I got the confirmation of the things Bela told me. She was nothing more than an experiment gone wrong and that woman was about to get rid of her and the others. I also thought about Alcina and Donna, who had no idea of what she was planning and trusted her blindly.
I also wondered, who was her perfect vessel? Was it someone from the village? Was it someone she had kidnapped? A million questions were going through my mind.
As soon as I finished getting dressed, Bela had sunk into one of her bad moods, where she became quiet and introspective, after acting normal all day. I already knew her enough to know something happened while I was in the shower and it was consuming her inside. Because as her own mother described, Bela felt everything very intensely.
"Would you like to go back to the castle?" We were in the living room, waiting for our dinner to be delivered. "We can go after dinner if you want."
"No," she said. I had turned on Auryk's video game console. Bela was quite curious about the game I was playing. Her eyes moved quickly as she observed every detail on the screen. "Not yet."
"Do you need to feed?"
"No, I'm okay."
I paused the game. Whatever happened, nothing seemed to distract Bela from it. She was quiet as in the morning she fought her mom or that night in her bedroom, before we kissed for the first time.
"Okay... why don't you tell me what happened? I left you alone in my room for some minutes and now you're upset."
Bela took a deep breath, as if she was trying to recompose herself and leave her emotions aside for the night.
"I'm not upset, love," she told me. "I'm focused."
"On what?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
"If you don't move to the left side, like this," Bela took the controller from my hands, unpausing the game and making a move herself. "You're going to get yourself killed."
And she was right. Apparently her vampire senses worked for literally anything.
"Know what?" I turned off the console. "I'm done with this for the night. I already know I wouldn't be able to beat you if we played against each other anyways."
"What a sore loser," Bela finally let out a laugh. Mission accomplished, I was able to get her out of her bad mood.
"We'll see about that later."
"Will we?"
She lay on top of me, staring deeply into my eyes in an attempt to look dangerous. She pressed her lips against mine and I wrapped my arms around her body pulling her as closer as possible. Bela deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue inside my mouth. The way her tongue massaged mine, the way our bodies were moving together, the way my hands were exploring every inch of her perfect body... I was feeling things I had never experienced before. A heat that spread through every part of me. She finished her kiss biting my lower lip, leaving me stunned, breathless.
"I'm sorry, I got too carried away," she said, when we stopped. "We're almost setting ourselves on fire here."
"No, I want more," as I gazed into her beautiful golden yellow eyes, I couldn't be more sure. "I want us to burn."
Bela raised one eyebrow suggestively, as if she was trying to confirm what I had just told her. I let out a small laugh and nodded in confirmation.
"Then..." she pressed another kiss on my lips, "we should head back to your bedroom. Don't you think?"
I was about to give her an answer when the door bell rang. It was the delivery service bringing our dinner.
"Fuck, I had totally forgotten," I took a deep breath, trying to recompose myself.
"We can resume from where stopped later, if you want."
----------
I wanted it. I definitely wanted it, but I was too nervous for my own sake. If I didn't calm down, I'd end up ruining things. I remembered the night I invited a girl I was dating to my house. Even after having a lot of alcohol to calm my nerves and get me in the mood, I panicked. I panicked and locked myself in the bathroom until she went away. Needless to say she never wanted to see me again.
To try to distract myself, after dinner I sat down on my desk, reading carefully a page of the diary in front of me. The calligraphy was barely readable. Apparently that one belonged to my grandfather, Erik Novak, during his teenage years.
"March 13, 1962
The Lycan attacks have intensified during these days. It's almost impossible to even leave the house. My poor sister, Astrid, has been attacked while she was outside tending for the animals. We don't expect her to survive. The infection has spread to her whole body. Father suggested we put an end to her misery. Mother is still hoping for a miracle. We called Mother Miranda for guidance."
I felt a shiver going down my spine. It was almost like I could watch that scene playing in my mind, like a movie. I held the picture of Astrid, her beautiful dark hair and soft facial features. Such a terrible fate she was victim of. Why did my family still insisted on living in that goddamn place for generations after such a tragedy?
"Okay, I finally picked one," Bela emerged in my bedroom. She was in the living room, too amazed by my Netflix account. With so many movie options in front of her, she didn't know where to start. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I closed the diary. "I was just reading an entry while you chose. My grandfather's sister, she was bitten by a Lycan."
"It seems to happen quite often in your family. One of the diaries I read also reported a Lycan attack."
"It's like a family curse. In my generation, it was my mom. But in her case, there was not even time to develop an infection."
Family drama. Nothing related to the clues we were searching for. I decided to not think about anything else related to that village, Auryk or even Miranda for the next few hours. I wanted to enjoy my time with Bela, exclusively.
"So, let's see what you chose, Ms. Dimitrescu."
For my surprise, Bela had picked a Disney movie. I thought it was extremely cute, I was kinda expecting her to choose something classical or even an horror movie.
"Do you like this one?" She asked.
"I love it," I wrapped an arm around her shoulders as we sat down on the couch. "And I'll love it even more now it's the first movie we watch together."
I didn't make any interruptions as we watched the movie. Bela seemed so entertained, so genuinely happy. I remembered she probably had never seen a movie before. I didn't see any TVs inside the castle. If they even had one, they didn't have access to Netflix or any other modern features. I simply enjoyed the sensation of having her in my arms or the sensation of caressing her hair. I learned to appreciate the sound of her laugh more than anything in this world. When we met, I'd rarely hear it and now it was something she did often.
The world was easier when we were alone, just the two of us. Two lonely, misfit and traumatized individuals. Bela seemed to be the only person who understood my feelings, and I was this person for her too.
When the first movie ended, I asked if she wanted to see another one. She told me to choose this time and I picked a romance. With a happy ending.
God, we deserved to have a happy ending too. We both had gone through so much already. I had to stop Miranda. I couldn't let her take Bela from me.
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Eastern Europe, Aleena's Bedroom - Present Days
It was already two in the morning when we returned to my bedroom.
"Are you sure your mother isn't going to freak out or anything?" I asked as we prepared the bed. "Cassandra is definitely going to tell her. If she gets mad the claws will come out to play and it's kinda scary."
"As long as the dragon remains inside, we're okay," the corners of Bela's mouth curled up in a smile.
"Dragon?!"
"Nevermind, it's a joke. A myth the villagers invented. Don't worry, I don't think she's going to mind. I told her about us this morning and she took it very well."
"This is quite a surprise."
We lay on the bed and my heart started thundering inside my chest. I wasn't sure if she remembered what we started before dinner and that I had intentions of resuming later.
"I wish we could have this everyday," she spoke softly, when we were face to face. "This is the reason why I was upset."
"Why does it upsets you?" I asked.
"While I was here alone, I kinda wished the temperature would drop and I'd be stuck here with you for a while. Then I realized I was being selfish."
"You're not selfish. To be honest, I kinda wished the same. I don't wanna go away. I want to stay with you, forever."
Bela took my hand, holding it very tightly for a few seconds and then, she released.
"You can't, Aleena. You don't deserve this life, in this place. You deserve more. You deserve to go after your dreams, move to California, go to college, be with a girl that actually deserves you."
"I don't want another girl, Bela. I want you. I want you the way you are, with your virtues and also your flaws. That's what made me fall in love with you."
I'd usually let her take the lead, but this time I kissed her, hard and desperate. I didn't want to think about the idea of being away from her. Or being with somebody else. Even if we couldn't be outside most of the time. Even if I had to work on the pub for the rest of my life. Even if she needed to drink human blood. I didn't mind if my friends or my brother never accepted my relationship with her. In that moment, I had everything I ever wanted and I wouldn't waste it. I couldn't wish for anything else.
When I realized, I felt her hand going down my shirt, caressing my stomach.
"Do you still want to do this?" She asked.
"More than anything."
I knew Bela had probably done that a thousand times before, but I wondered if she was always so tender, so careful. She knew that was an important moment to me, I was letting down the last of my emotional barriers for her, so she acted cautiously on every move she made next.
First, she kissed me again for a very long time. I assumed she was giving me enough time to think if I was truly prepared. Then, her mouth placed a trail of kisses for all the way down to my neck.
We undressed each other, Bela lay on top of me and as she kissed me again, I couldn't stop thinking how good it was the feeling of having her naked body so close to mine. This time, I felt confident enough to explore parts of her I wasn't prepared the last time.
"What?" I asked when we parted and she gazed deeply into my eyes. "Am I doing it wrong?"
"I have something to confess, love," she opened a beautiful smile. "I'm a little nervous too."
"Come on. Mrs. Volkov was scolding me this morning, telling me I was only one of the many women she saw leaving your bedroom."
"Yes, but it's the first time I do it with a woman I'm in love with."
It was my turn to smile. With my hand on her chest, I sensed how quick her heart was beating too.
"Well," I whispered seductively in her ear, "she's very in love with you too. So you don't have to be nervous."
"Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"
I nodded in agreement and pulled her face for another kiss. As Bela's hands traveled through my body, caressing my inner tights, I was shivering in anticipation. By the time she touched me where I wanted her the most, my first reaction was to shudder.
"How does that feel?" She wanted to know. "Do you like it, love?"
"Yes!" I threw my head back as her fingers continued to stroke my center. "Oh my god, yes. Please don't stop."
"I don't plan to. We're only getting started."
I was still nervous. I didn't know how I was supposed to act. Should I do something to please her too? Should I be silent? Because I was fighting so hard against the wild impulses inside of me, that wanted to moan and scream Bela's name as loud as I could. I buried my mouth on her collarbone trying to muffle a moan.
"This is okay," she stopped for a second, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes. "Just relax. You're being perfect."
I simply nodded in agreement. I just wanted her to continue what she was doing, but she had other plans in mind...
"What about now?" Bela inserted one finger inside me and started to move, slow and gentle. "Does it hurt?"
"N-No... this feels great..." I could barely form a coherent sentence anymore. In fact, I noticed I had stopped breathing. Yes, I could die right now and I'd die a happy woman. Was that what my father was trying to protect me from with his sick ritual? I couldn't be more happier to have broken his rules. I couldn't be more happier I waited and did exactly I was told to stay away from.
My heart was racing really fast. I felt all my muscles were starting to become tense. Bela inserted another finger inside me, moving a little bit faster and harder, but still making sure she wasn't causing me any pain.
And in that moment, I completely lost myself. My back arched and my whole body started to tremble under her body. Bela held me tightly. I relaxed too, wrapping my arms around her.
"Are you okay, love?"
"More than okay," I answered between pants. "To be honest, I think I've never felt so great before."
"Is there anything else you want me to do?"
"Yes, you can now show me how I can please you."
We switched positions and Bela guided my hand as I tried to follow the same path as she did. She also rocked her hips to meet my rhythm. I wasn't so confident as she was. I was afraid I could do anything that could hurt her. But she was a patient teacher and I was a quick learner. Soon, she was already trembling in my arms too and I knew I had done it right.
I thought we were done with the best part, but I was wrong. After pressing one final kiss on my lips, Bela rested her head on my chest and said words I'd never forget.
"I love you."
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alloaroworlds · 5 years
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I'm really sorry in advance because this is probably a really ignorant/rude/maybe even somewhat offensive question, but I was wondering whether aroSPEC allosexuals (i.e. demiromantic, greyromantic, etc.) counted as aro allos? I'm assuming yes, because usually 'aro' in this kind of case is used as an umbrella term, but I've only ever really seen people talk about the aro allo experience in reference to experiencing no romantic attraction ever, so I wanted to double check whether my gut was right.
There’s nothing even slightly rude or offensive about the way you’ve asked this question, anon. You’re polite and respectful; you just want understanding and confirmation. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not going to say I speak for the whole community, because I don’t, but I’d be seriously displeased if I saw someone argue that the aro part of “allo-aro” doesn’t include all folks on the aromantic spectrum (if that’s how they identify). I mean “what the hell this is not what this community is about” displeased. All aro-spectrum-identified folks are welcome.
I think we use “allo-aro” to mean “allosexual and aromantic-spec”. Unfortunately, I think we have the same problem as with words like “aro-ace” where we can’t as easily add the “-spec” on the end to be clear that it means everyone under those umbrellas. But even if it isn’t spoken or written, it’s there.
In my opinion, “allo-aro” needs a little vagueness about it: there’ll be folks with fluid orientations that include ace-spec identities (hello, me) and folks on the ace-spectrum who need support for experiences of sexual attraction that are currently not provided in ace-spec spaces along with people who fit the strict definition (some shape of aro-spec, completely allosexual). I look at “allo-aro” as an identifier that’s less about a strict definition of attraction and more a way to communicate aro-specs who need a sense of community and connection around the fact that we are on the aromantic spectrum and that is shaped by experiences of sexual attraction–that it’s more about what we need than it is about who we are. Some ace-spec aro-spec folks may need, or want, to participate in our spaces because they’re just not being supported in their sexual attractions in ace-spec spaces.
Yes, most of the time “allo-aro” means “being on the aromantic spectrum while experiencing allosexual attraction”, but I think it can also mean “and folks on the aromantic spectrum who do experience some form of sexual attraction and find it an important part of their aromanticism in ways not accommodated in ace-spec spaces”, too. I can’t speak for anyone else here, but I think that allowing people to self-identify with the labels that suit their needs is far better than being really restrictive about who is and isn’t precisely fitting the label.
I think most of us don’t see “allo-aro” as an identifier the same way “aro-ace” is. I’m abrosexual aromantic; that’s my identity. Allo-aro is just the word that I use to connect me to a category of certain other aro-spec experiences and identities. It’s a word I use to give me connection to other people and to counteract a de-centering we experience: with a term that connects us, we can tag our content, find each other, speak more loudly about what we need. I think this gives us room to play with it.
Perhaps a good working definition is “aro-spec person who experiences sexual attraction and needs this to be centred alongside their aromantic-spectrum experiences” because I think that centering is key to why we’re gathering under this label. It’s less about experiencing allosexual attraction and more about sexual attraction needing to be a factor in how our aromantic-spectrum identities are accepted and understood in a-spec and aro-spec spaces.
(I mean, I don’t identify as allo-aro anywhere but inside a-spec spaces; it feels like a label specific to this community and its activism.)
So, if I feel this way about people who experience sexual attraction and are also ace-spec but need allo-aro community, connection and information, it’d be absurd to say that aro-spectrum people aren’t allo-aro.
Does this make sense, anon? A lot of this isn’t what you asked for; I’m just using it as an excuse to mention that I see “allo-aro” as a somewhat vague category and I’m fine with ace-spec people who need to really centre their sexual attraction experiences sheltering under this particular umbrella, too. Other people can feel differently and that’s okay, but for the purposes of this blog–if you want to be in this space because it’s giving you something you’re not getting anywhere else, it’s yours.
It’s important to say that we need more conversations by aro-spec people in being on the aromantic spectrum and experiencing sexual attraction, and I hope this can grow and develop as allo-aro as a space also grows and develops. Right now, we’re so new and small that our conversations aren’t yet as diverse as they should be, but I hope people do feel welcome in exploring the many shapes of what allo-aro looks like, because we need that exploration.
That you had to ask this question, anon, is something I consider a failure on our part, so I hope aro-spectrum folks in the allo-aro community know that they’re allo-aro, they’re wanted and important, and we’re here to listen to you talk about your experiences.
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