#i'm at my fucking breaking point
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If you sexualize Atreus, please get psychological help. Like this isn't even funny or quirky or weird at this point, it's straight up disturbing. Idc if he's fictional, the character design in this game is so realistic he might as well be real, and his voice actor is a minor.
It's not fucking normal for someone to witness casual p*dophilic and r*pe art and fanfiction in the normal main tags of a fandom. And it being romanticised and fetishized? Seriously? What is happening?
This is not me being a hater or harassing you, this is me genuinely being worried about your well-being. This is me telling you to take a step back and realize what the fuck you're actually doing. This isn't normal. You need help. Heck, I'm even open to talking about it with you and letting you vent to me by dms if you need to and I'll try to help you find resources to help or whatever.
#i'm at my fucking breaking point#jUsT bLoCk ThEm NO THATS THE THING I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SEE THIS SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE#like this isn't just a weird ship that i don't like this is straight up romanticised child abuse#god of war#ragnarok#atreus
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if doctors looked for hypermobility in children you could give them appropriate physical therapy exercises from a young age as their muscles grow, orthotics to correct leg/foot placement, and where necessary additional support like professional k-tape application or other mobility aids before you obtain essentially permanent overtraining injuries from your poor muscles trying their best to stop you comedically collapsing into a pile of bones
but no it's just growing pains. kids don't have things wrong. it'll go away
#i'm also bitter because i have tibial tosion (my tibias grew rotated instead of straight)#this makes my feet point inwards aka pigeon toe#and because kids don't have pain. or whatever. nobody even FUCKING noticed untl i was 17#if anybody bothered before i could have had orthotics that wouod have gradually eased my bones back into the correct position#while they were still malleable#by 17 it was too late for that and the only option would have been breaking my legs#twisting them#and putting them back with a plate in the middle#and then re-learning how to walk#i did not do that
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we've read about dick and tim being pathetic, but I wanna know the strange, stoic way Damian would be pathetic for reader if you're up for it :) I love your writing!!!
Points at camera like I'm on a gameshow! You, dear reader are lucky you came to the right blog!!!
So, we all know what cats are like when they like someone, right?? Just, following them around constantly. They don't want pets, they don't want to get picked up, they just want to watch you from a distance of five to twenty feet. Anyway, that's Damian!
He's in love with you, he needs you, he wants to keep you, but he has his pride!! Well, for a while at least. He's clingy, of course but he just... pretends he isn't?? It doesn't really work after the first few times. Pressing kisses to your forehead and holding your hand. And he'll do it while he's glaring at you.
Now, if you break up with him or reject him, you are going to see true brattiness. Monstrously bratty. How dare you? How dare you think you can leave him, reject him? He's the heir to the Al Ghul and Wayne dynasties. He gives you everything. And you don't accept it?
...Okay, you thought he'd stomp off after that. He's not leaving?? He's just... sitting outside your house...?? Why the hell is he glaring at you through your window???? It's not your fault????? Damian, however, is absolutely certain it is your fault. He will sit there through rain and snow, deliver you gifts and takeout, and wait sadly and grumpily till you take him back. And I thought he was impatient!
Unfortunately, while you saw him as a cat, he thought the same with you. While you see him as tame, he thinks of you as some wild alley cat that needs to be caught for it's own good. He just needs to slowly acclimate you to him and you guys will be right as rain. Maybe some treats will make you like him more? He'll figure it out, that he's confident of. Don't tell him he's being silly, you will just make things worse.
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#yandere batfam#he is impatient btw he probably breaks in when you're not looking#if this goes on too long things start getting even weirder but I'm not entirely sure yet what it looks like yet#but it gets WEIRD#hes a slow burn ive said it before#hes just fucking weird#points at a character i like: autism rizz#ive got so many versions of him in my head which are kinda conflicting#but i think this is how i think I'm characterising him?? how it seems to be falling at least#did i post that thing where he locks you in a cage but he cant get you to love him so you're both just upset and stuck together??#i think i did it was one of the alphabets
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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Imagine.
You've been friends with Rise Leo for so long, that you can't seem to remember a time when he wasn't there teasing you with his signature smirk.
It was always jokes with him. Puns. One liners. Horrible cringe pick-up lines. You name it, he'd say it.
Word play was the game and boy did he know how to play. The dumber they were, the harder you laughed.
You always seemed to be laughing around him. It felt…nice. Just to be silly, let the weight of your world roll off your shoulders just for one moment.
You guessed why that's why it was so easy for you to fall into a habit of teasing him back. Y'all both just needed a reason to laugh.
But…you weren't laughing now.
There, he stood in front of you, with that signature smirk on his lips, telling you that he had feelings for you.
That he ALWAYS had feelings for you; he just never had the words for it until now.
You tilted your head at that, your brow narrowing in confusion as you began to rub a hand nervously over your arm.
So you did what you always did. What he would always do when it came to uncomfortable feelings.
You brushed it off with a laugh, missing the way Leo’s hands flexed at the sound.
You looked up at Leo with a shaky smirk, mirroring his own face, your eyebrow quirked teasingly.
“This is a joke right? I'm missing the punchline here. You've never cared about serious feelings like this before, so why start now?”
Leo’s eyes widened slightly, his stomach sinking as he watched you shake your head with that disbelieving and exasperated smile that he had come to love so much.
His hands slowly curled into white-knuckled fists as he watched you literally laugh away his confession.
You thought… you thought this was a joke. That he wouldn't take these real feelings seriously.
Leo’s gaze narrowed as his attention sharpened into focus on you.
Very well then.
Leo would show you just how serious he could be.
Imagine.
All of those jokes, all of that teasing, that ADHD intellect, that strategy, that charisma and charm directed solely on you.
Imagine.
Every comment, every look, interaction and touch becoming calculated, purpose driven and direct.
Focused. On. You.
Imagine.
Leo wanting to show you what serious intention looks like.
Because it was NEVER a joke when it concerned you.
~Ninja
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#OH I'M IMAGINING#TH. THANK YOU FOR THIS#ohhhhhhh and you know it all comes to a boiling point where you get into an argument with him#which is so so terrible because you two NEVER fight#and because i love cliches it HAS to escalate to him losing that smirk and that self-assured mask and him yelling “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!#BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I'M BEING HONEST AND THE TRUTH IS THAT I FUCKING LOVE YOU OKAY?“#ohhh he'd fucking BREAK he'd start to cry and look at you like you hold his life in your hands (because you do. you always have)#and it's only THEN that you realize#all this was... all this was actually real#what he's been saying and doing it's all been REAL this ENTIRE TIME and you've been brushing it off. you've been LAUGHING.#“Leo I'm. I'm so sorry I didn't- I thought you-”#“well?” “well what?” “...do you love /me?/”#asks
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oh she was no phoenix, but a creature of the ash
#i just think that laudna should be allowed to be feral more#i know she doesn't really have a fun time with it but...........consider the angst#this is also just me projecting because i also am at my fucking breaking point#the compartmentalization gang is not living la vida loca#cr#critical role#laudna#my art#yes i've drawn something for the first time in a million years because i'm avoiding studying
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I ask this as a Clerith fan myself - why are so many people up in arms about Tifa "lying" in her GS date? I'm not even sure what people are referring to when they say that. If it's when she denied talking to Aerith about Zack... Aerith literally lied about the EXACT same thing to Cloud and no one calls her out about it.
Obviously the context of Cloud bringing up the issue in the first place is quite different with both girls - with Aerith he's wanting to know where they stand and if he can pursue her or if he should give up. While with Tifa he's still focused on Aerith instead of the girl he's with, which makes this date and his extreme (frankly OOC) actions come across as a rebound because he feels like he has no chance with the girl he's really interested in. But that said, I interpret the lie itself as the same from both girls - they know Cloud's memory is unreliable and digging too much into the topic of Zack might make him MORE unstable, so they dodge the issue. Also maybe a secondary reason of lying to keep the mood light/romantic, instead of bogging it down with something heavy.
If it's in response to what she says after Cloud wonders about Aerith still having feelings for Zack... that's up to interpretation, I guess. PERSONALLY, I would take her responding "It's more complicated than that" as dodging the question at worst or even a soft, implied disagreement with Cloud at best. It would be incredibly easy and simple to just say, "Yes, she still likes him." That's NOT what Tifa says, even though to an extent it might be true (Aerith makes it obvious that she's fallen for Cloud by the end of the game, but she MIGHT still love Zack too. You can love more than one person at a time. It's just unclear if that's the case for her or not).
We know from the scene on the ship heading towards Costa del Sol that Tifa and Aerith wanted to talk about love and boys, but it was postponed. But it's also clear they're spending a LOT of time together trying to hash out what's going on with Cloud and generally opening up to each other as friends off-screen, so I think it's safe to say they DID have this conversation eventually. I believe by the chapter 12 date, both girls are fully aware that they EACH like Cloud romantically, but for the most part they care enough about each other as friends to put aside rivalry/jealousy.
Tifa's response of "It's more complicated than that" just feels like the honest truth to me. Does Aerith still have feelings for Zack? Yeah, maybe. But she also undeniably has feelings for Cloud. And Tifa, on a date with the man she ALSO loves, doesn't want to lie but also can't bring herself to say that whole truth (also it's not really her truth to say? Confessing for someone else is messed up in its own right NGL) when doing so would almost certainly kill her own chances with Cloud.
I honestly feel sorry for her in her date. I read the situation as her trying to be as honest as she can without quite literally triggering Cloud or spilling Aerith's secrets, while Cloud, AT BEST is acting out a role with her and being the suave hero who he thinks she wants (which is arguably true, but let's not get into whether Tifa wants the "real" Cloud here) instead of his true awkward self (thus no actual progress in their relationship is made, since everything was just an act on his part). And AT WORST is outright using her as a rebound.
Seriously, what are you all mad at HER for?
#clerith#usually i would tag this with all the relevant ff tags but i'm a bit afraid of this one breaking containment since it's discourse-y#i genuinely want to get the perspective of fellow clerith shippers here. afraid of fans of the other ship finding and hijacking this#like yes i am defending tifa here. and OVERALL i do like her. but i am 100% not on that side of the ship war. thanks.#i just genuinely don't understand what she did that got people upset in her date when from my perspective...#either cloud should be getting the flak or ALL ff7 characters should be acknowledged as complex and flawed#thus we forgive them when they make mistakes or choose to do semi-fucked up things. and move on to other points of interest
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hayyyyyyy reminder i don't give a fuck about what you ship just be a nice person please and thank you <33333
i love my friends dreemurr-skelememer and digglesgiggles and megaloserrr and bonejello and hazerun3 and you can't stop me
#yes this is semi-targeted#im tired of people bashing my friends for consuming fictional content and being told they're a bad person for doing so#block me idgaf#my dni is literally 'if my nonsense isn't your cup of tea' FUCKING BLOCK ME YEAH?#anyway i just wanna have a fun time with family mkay goodbye antis#i tried to be nice but i'm at my breaking point#AND BLOCK THE TAGS YOU DONT WANNA SEE#WHY DO YOU THINK PPL TAG THEIR SHIT HUH#BLOCK DREAMMARE BOOM MENTAL HEALTH IMPROVED#IT IS LITERALLY NOT THAT HARD
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making something (maybe)
#(hopefully)#hi. i accidentally disappeared for a bit.#the burnout got to me ngl#haven't done a single creative thing all week#i did make it to the library though#my book for feb was i'm glad my mom died#i don't usually read nonfic but. i enjoyed it. i mean#as much as you can enjoy a book with that kind of subject matter#i read it in about a day. mostly in one sitting#i've gotten a head start on my march book & i'm genuinely almost regretting my pick#like. it's a compelling read & it's written in such a way that i want to know what happens but#it's fucking horrific. rarely do i need to put a book down & have a break but. i have done so several times w this book#i'm determined to finish it though. i need to know if there's like. a point to the horrors i'm experiencing or not#uhh i did also go dvd hunting#i found season 1 & season 2 of ATLA which were cool finds#i did find them at two different thrift stores which i thought was kinda funny#i'm probably gonna watch the new live action later but idk#n e way#rainyrambles
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something about getting to the end of something you're making and just like. reconciling yourself to the fact that it's kind of garbage. and then looking at it again a few days later and being like. actually. this is pretty good. and then you get so used to this cycle that when you're at the point of actively thinking something you're making is garbage...you're smart enough to know rationally that you're just In The Thick Of It and it will probably look pretty a-okay in a few days. you're a smart person! you understand this! but somehow. it still just looks like garbage. even though you KNOW what your brain is doing. you know it!! you understand!!!
anyway what's that called.
#i want to be very clear i am not looking for reassurance because i do genuinely logically understand what's happening right here#i am fully positive that i'll be perfectly fine with what i'm making in a few days. i understand!!! so this isn't about reassurance!#this is me pointing at this phenomenon and saying HEY HUMAN BRAINS SURE ARE A LITTLE FUCKED UP HUH#that's what's happening here.#what the hell was evolution cooking with when it spat US out lmao#the way one can break down exactly what's happening in one's brain but still can't turn the switch that's doing it OFF?#amazing#who designed these things. i have some FEEDBACK.#humans#writing#creating#me: ugh this sucks | also me: but eh that's just my brain doing the thing | me: it still feels like it sucks | also me: just don't feel!!!
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do you cry every single day over the bit in memnoch where louis is literally clawing at the doors and has to be physically restrained from trying to get to lestat or are you normal
#the most toxic trait of fanon is this idea that louis is some classy sadboi that cares less about lestat than lestat cares for him#and i am out here fighting every day to remind you that is NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!#louis would lay down his life for lestat in a HEARTBEAT oh my god he can't exist without lestat i'm going fucking feral thinking about it#there are very few times in vc where we see louis truly FRANTIC and it breaks my damn heart every time#Louis de Pointe du Lac#Lestat De Lioncourt
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I blocked the fhjy tag to avoid seeing spoilers (cant get dropout as a broke student lol) but i still press to see the post everytime. Why am i like this help
it's the internet equivalent of getting a piercing or a tattoo: hurts like hell, probably stupid, ill advised , and yet it's rad and fun and people do it anyway
#prolly not the best analogy but i'm tired as fuck and you get my point#also good news you have until wednesday to break the habit cause that's when the real spoilers start#ask#asks
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KinnPorsche Music in Context: Episode One
It needs to be said: I started thinking about how a few of the songs used as KinnPorsche background music had incredibly apt or punny titles months ago. It’s been sort of poking around in my head that it might be some light, surface level meta to collect!
Ho boy was I wrong. I don’t know what I expected because absolutely nothing in KinnPorsche is just surface level. In episode one, I have already found several hysterical jokes, commentary on the shifting power dynamics, water symbolism, and many more gems.
Here is the link to my episode one Spotify playlist. I know there are quite a few playlists out there, but even scouring three of them, I still found additional songs that were not cited or mentioned.
There are 37 (yes, you read that correctly, 37!) songs in episode one and that's in addition to a handful of reprisals, so the insanely long list is under the cut.
For other episodes (as I get to them), go here!
We start, of course, with our beloved theme song, เพียงไว้ใจ (or PhiangWaichai) by Slot Machine. There’s plenty of thoughts on this, I’m not digging into it.
Introducing Kinn – Quantum Sonata by FormantX.
Kinn and Big head into the Italian’s den – Our Final Mission by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. This is the last time Big will join Kinn on a mission as his head bodyguard (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)
Introducing Don and the Italian gang – Waltz for Little Italy by Bireli Snow.
Introducing Porsch – Diggin' the Drama by The New Fools.
Kinn making accusations and Porsche mixing drinks hoping to get lucky – Covert Affairs by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.
After Kinn's iconic "I'm more like my mom," we are introduced to the song that makes the most appearances this episode: Concerto No. 2 in G Minor, L’estate (Summer) composed by Antonio Vivaldi. Now here’s where the KinnPorsche crew start to do what they do best: give us things to obsess over and over analyze.
The concerto has 3 movements and to be honest I’m not 100% sure that they pull from only one of them for the show. Remember when I said I wasn’t musically inclined? If anyone wants to chime in, please do.
Another fun thing about this Concerto? It is traditionally associated with or accompanied by a trio of sonnets (one for each movement). Oh, did I mention Vivaldi was Italian? Themes.
Anyway, the sonnets translated from Italian to English:
I. Allegro non molto–
Under the heat of the burning summer sun,
Languish man and flock; the pine is parched.
The cuckoo finds its voice, and suddenly,
The turtledove and goldfinch sing.
A gentle breeze blows,
But suddenly, the north wind appears.
The shepherd weeps because, overhead,
Lies the fierce storm, and his destiny.
II. Adagio; Presto–
His tired limbs are deprived of rest
By his fear of lightning and fierce thunder,
And by furious swarms of flies and hornets.
III. Presto–
Alas, how just are his fears,
Thunder and lightening fill the Heavens, and the hail
Slices the tops of the corn and other grain.
Source
Porsche and his fanclub at Hum Bar – Late Nights by Daxton.
When Yok calls Porsche over to the bar – Mysterious Madeline by Lucas Pittman.
As Kinn is driving over the bridge and they realize they're being followed (and when Porsche is making eyes at the woman across the bar) – Road of Fury by John Abbot.
Big and Kinn fleeing into the tunnels when Big is shot and Kinn is being chased down – They Are Coming by Hampus Naeselius.
There is a brief snippet here with a snare drum and a cymbal (I think?) when Porsche is cheekily asking Kinn for money and pissing in a bottle, but I couldn’t isolate it enough to find it. Any help would be appreciated!
Here, we’re introduced to the perfect fights song, Absolute Power by Hampus Naeselius, when Porsche beats down the street thugs and drives off with Kinn.
She Knocks by Lukas Amil plays when Porsche is being a brat and leaves Kinn at the gas station.
When Porsche comes home to Chay bandaging up Arthee – In Rain - Indigo Days. Can you say water symbolism?
The Joys And Sorrows of Life by Johannes Bornlöf gives a little hope when Porsche and Arthee are sitting and talking about finances and how much they could make off Kinn’s watch.
Porsche at the underground fighting ring has three songs in quick succession: Back to Where it Began by Rockin' For Decades,
Second Hand Slide by Lucas Pittman,
And Around the Bend by Pip Mondy as he turns the fights to his favor. [It is worth noting that they use a sort of stripped down version during most of it, but I couldn't find that version, so they may have done it themselves]
When Porsche comes home to Chay and Arthee celebrating making so much money off the watch we get Gentleman at Heart by Indigo Days. I think this one’s interesting because I’m actually not sure if it’s about Arthee or Porsche…
When Don finds his men tied up and (maybe dead?) – Let Me Introduce Myself by Rune Dale. This comes right after the scene where Korn chastises Kinn for his decision to enrage Don instead of “giving him gifts.” This is Kinn telling Don exactly how he plans to run things and how very different he is from his father. Kinn's mother must have been ruthless with a good sense of humor.
When Kinn asks Chan about finding Jom/Porsche, we're back to Vivaldi’s Concerto. Like the shepherd, Porsche's Destiny hangs over his head.
College Porsche and his stolen pastry get Moonshiner's Turn by Martin Landström.
Jom is approached to act as "a waiter who's actually the greatest boxer undercover,” our dear theater kid gets Concert Hall Hideout by Stationary Sign.
A moment later when Porsche realizes he's been caught? Cheese! by Alexandra Woodward. [This one is not on the Spotify playlist but I did find it on Epidemic Sound.]
When Porsche calls Chay, worried that Chay may be targeted or even taken by Kinn? Extraction by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen. Which is a truly horrible double entendre because the very next song is
Clogged Up by Jerry Lacey. I'm not even dignifying this scene with a response.
Kinn sweet talking Yok (with veiled threats) – Infiltrator by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.
Porsche’s kidnapping – Honor the Brave by Hampus Naeselius.
Kinn reading Porsche his own biography – Beryllium - Farrell Wooten. Beryllium is, according to a brief google search, a natural metal that is expensive, brittle, and dangerous to work with (toxic).
Porsche's fight theme – Absolute Power. Except who has the power this time?
Brief reprise of She Knocks as Kinn once again watches Porsche walk away from him (or throw himself off the boat in this case).
When Korn and Kinn discuss how to force Porsche, and moving into the next scene when Porsche finds Chay cleaning up after another break-in, and through to Porsche finding Thee being beaten up – The Stakeout by Christoffer Moe Ditlevsen.
When the loan shark tells Porsche that Thee still owes despite Porsche believing they had paid things off, leading to Porsche forcefully kicking Thee out of his and Chay's life? Ghosting by Christopher Moe Ditlevsen.
When Porsche finally tells Thee to leave and after, when Porsche goes home alone to clean up his ruined house, we get one of my all time favorites – Bitter Heart - Instrumental Version by Memi. Although the soundtrack presumably uses the instrumental version, I would argue that the lyrics were taken into account when choosing it:
“Suddenly you look like a stranger
A face I knew, but I must've forgotten
…
We know we could've done it better
Fought for the little things that we wanted
…
Oh, I wish that you hadn't pulled the trigger
Shot me down with my bitter heart
My blood is getting thicker
You shot me down, you shot me down
With my bitter heart”
This is getting way too long, so I cut some of the lyrics but I strongly recommend checking out the original.
As Chay tells Porsche that their parents would be proud of him, there is a very brief reprisal of In Rain.
It then switches to No More Drama by Eric Feinberg as they hug and Porsche tucks Chay in. This calls back to the song that first accompanied Porsche, Diggin’ the Drama, and Porsche has made his decision. He can't keep living like this and he can't let Chay live like this either.
Porsche's letter and Kinn pouring himself a drink – a reprisal of Gentleman at Heart.
During the famous "your life is mine" scene where, at least in the translation, Porsche asks if Kinn is a god, we get a third reprisal of the Concerto. Porsche's destiny is set, the storm has blown in and ruined his life leaving him desperate.
When Porsche confronts Korn and asks to be Big and Ken's boss and through to Korn Playing Chess – So to Say by Taylor Crane
At which point we get one, final reprise of the Concerto as Korn places the Queen on the board and the game begins.
Finally – Free Fall by Slot Machine.
And, in the interest of being thorough....
Episode Two Preview – Global Impact by Philip Ayers.
#fucking hell#that was way more than i expected#i tried to go back and reduce my commentary#but whatever#i worked really hard on this 🥲#kprewatch2023#kinnporsche meta#kinnporsche the series#music analysis#sort of#help i'm stuck in a rabbit hole#would also love feedback on whether i should maybe break these up in the future? this is so massive...#i guess i could have cut back on the songs i didn't really get but#the whole point was to be comprehensive and allow people to draw their own conclusions#so
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lmao okay yeah hard no on taking advice on sustainable activism and social media practices from a 22-year-old actually. that's a block
#maybe i feel this way because i have spent the last eight years watching every idealistic 20yo burn the fuck out#you could not be missing my point harder if you tried#maybe you are in fact the person i am talking about if you really don't get what I'm saying!!#'taking breaks' is not about giving up responsibility for activism#it is about TAKING responsibility for using your energy in ways that are actually constructive#rather than wallowing in suffering because it feels good#if you're the designated person to collect your friends from jail after a protest#you do not go out there and get arrested with them bc it feels more exciting#you do the helpful thing that makes more progress. you stay out of jail and you bail out your friends
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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#can someone help me feel something?#its just so hard to fucking keep going you know?#i have 0 purpose exept to be second place and watch other people succeed#no one seems to care anymore that i'm still here#and i basically not even part of my friend group anymore (i never was in the first place they just tolerated me)#like whats the fucking point?#i don't win anything- i'm not good at anything#just middling and mediocre at EVERYTHING!#and i just ant someone to want me#like theres nothing keeping me on this planet#so why stay#i try to feel something- i rly do#but i can't#the knot in my stomach keeps getting tighter and tighter until i eventually push everyone away and break and the cycle repeats#sry to be this depressing on valentines day#but idk anymore... livings hard#and i'd rather not#getting out of bed is so hard knowing no one wants to see you or here you or know you#but i have to#and life goes on#and i'm just swept with the current#because thats all i'll ever amount to <3#i sound so ungrateful and stupid#but idk somethings obviously wrong with me and i don't know how to stop it#vick's venting again
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