𝐊𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐮 𝐑𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐍𝐉 - 𝟏𝟎/𝟎𝟖/𝟐𝟑

hi all! i figured i would re-post my raffle to reflect where i'm at right now. let me preface this with my current situation in this very moment; as i write this, right now, i am so hungry that it is physically painful (which is only flaring up my chronic pain as well) — it's embarrassing/hard to admit i'm actually so hungry that i can't even drink water without feeling like i'm going to throw up. if that sounds weird to you, i'm not sure how to explain it. it's hard to explain that kind of discomfort that even water is painful to drink unless you've experienced this level of hunger.

anyway, i'm going to copy/paste a reminder of what the raffle entails, and explain all of my updates underneath the cut. <3 (again, i was inspired by lomapacks and received permission to use this idea)

how much do i need? i literally hate this but my need is ongoing right now. as a severely disabled individual fighting tooth and nail for disability payments, my need will not end until the government has decided that i'm useless enough in their eyes.

how does the raffle work? for every dollar spent commissioning, you will earn an entry! for every dollar donated of good will, you will earn 3 entries! example, if you order $15 worth of gifs (150 gifs), you will have 15 entries! if you donate $15, you will have 45 entries! (or if you donate $1 = 3 entries, $3 = 6 entries, etc) to be entered, you must fill out the google form in the source link

what are the prizes?

first place: 1500 gifs, 5 manips of your choosing, 1 crackship gifset

second place: 1000 gifs, 3 manips, 1 crackship gifset

third place: 500 gifs, 2 manips, 1 crackship gifset

every single person that commissions or donates gets: 1 manip

when will the raffle end? the raffle will continue until i'm at least caught up on rent, and feel secure. it's a big goal, but i'm hoping that can be soon.

what do you do to join? you can find my payment info below to donate or commission. if you plan to commission, please message me first so we can sort out what it’s for/how much! then, please fill out the form in the source link when payment is completed. :)

when will everything be delivered? commissions will be completed in the order they were received, and delivered as soon as i can possibly get them done. once the raffle ends, the raffle prizes will be delivered upon your request for them and completed as soon as possible! i will try to deliver the manips for everyone same-day!

payment information: (amazon donations will count x2 entries)

kofi! https://ko-fi.com/tiffanyvalentine

paypal! [email protected]

venmo! oraclelauren

cashapp! $selinaaakyle

amazon wishlist! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/259VCVX9R5LCS?ref_=wl_share

soooo.... i currently have 6 business days to pay $670 (we paid all we could, this is what's left) in rent or i'll be evicted...

that's what's most important.

everything else going on is i'm DESPERATELY trying to move out of this apartment because it's so unacommodating to my disability. i have to walk A LONG WAY up to the building from the massive parking lot and there's only one handicap parking spot and someone is always in it even though they don't have a permit, but the office DOESN'T CARE no matter how many times i report it. they don't care about me!!! not only that, but i'm up 2 flights of stairs. simply coming and going from my apartment is a fucking nightmare. i'm trying to save up for a moving company because i literally can't pack and move without the help. i need to save for a deposit too.

food is a scarcity. food banks only help so much. we are struggling so hard to pay literally every other bill that we just can't buy food. my partner and i, we put our bills and pets first, and ourselves last. i am so hungry that it's like... shutting me down. idk how to explain this. like my eyes are dry and droopy and burn. and my stomach is doing some really weird stuff. and the pain in my stomach is radiating through my back and usual joint pain. i don't want to talk about it anymore but anyway i could really use some help getting groceries. and tonight, as im posting this, possibly help getting something delivered, idc if it's the cheapest pizza in the world or something just something because i am so worn down idk how to tell you my lack of energy!!!

fuel for the car to get myself to medical appointments and make sure my wife can get to work

the cost of medications and appts that insurance won't cover

there's probably more things i need help with im just literally i cannot focus right now so im sorry if this is very poorly worded but i appreciate every one of you who reblogs or donates etc you mean the world to me in helping me stay alive especially when i feel like (because of my disabilities) im just a useless burden who doesn't deserve to be here anymore. lke seriously

HER

I was rollin' around and in my mind it occurred. What if God was a HER?

Quick lil one-shot. Erik is onstage at a poetry night.

The words Urban Fever flashed neon above the familiar stage that Erik had seen countless nights through Open Mics and jazzy blues. Erik took the stage for the former, a first time poet created by the woes of heartbreak. He'd been through a lifetime in under a year.

A packed house sat before him as he adjusted the mic making it taller from the last poet who was 5'6 in her clunky platforms. Lights blinded him from the faces of the crowd and he squinted as the liquor in his system along with the vibe of the room made his mind run backward with reminiscing. His tongue was loose recounting his too brief time with.. Her.

"I swear I lost my train of thought when I passed her, fro godly like a pastor, skin like brown alabaster.

Astral choirs sing jagged edge cause shorty done walked right out of heaven a vision fulfledged."

NINE MONTHS BACK

"E, What you doing," Diamond's irritation cut into his sinful and lustful thoughts. For a minute he forgot he was in a relationship. He couldn't say he was in love but neither could most people. Diamond was down for him at least, he knew that for sure. "E!!"

"Hm?" His mind blanked so bad he missed the turn to take Diamond to work which meant he'd be late meeting his other bitch once he dropped her off. She sighed throwing her arms.

"Really E?" Diamond cut with a look that could kill. She was visibly sick of his shit but still there.. "You gone check this bitch out right in front of me when I'm in the car? Beside you?" She pushed the wheel causing the car to drift slightly into the left lane nearly hitting the car there before he righted it. "You that bold?"

He took a low look at her from the side of his eye as he kept driving. He'd passed the girl because Diamond made him gas the car so not to get hit.

"You trippin."

"Don't do that," she groaned. "Don't LIE. You want the bitch, go get the bitch." Impulsively she grabbed for the wheel again but he blocked her. "Let me out."

"You extra right now, chill out."

"Don't tell me to chill," she grit pushing the side of his head. He gave her another side eye as he contemplated pulling over.

"Just let me turn around.. Okay?"

She groaned as her head hit back on the headrest. "I don't know why I fuck with you, you ain't shit, never gonna be shit, make me feel like shit over your shit. It's just shit."

"So leave then Diamond! I don't need to hear that shit."

"I really should.. I'm not dumb, I know you cheating! I don't know why I stay with you when I know better."

"You know why."

Eight thick inches explained exactly why. He purposely missed the next turn hoping to find that girl walking again before she disappeared.

"I swear to-," she jumped suddenly, "LET ME OUT. I'M DONE, LET ME OUT!"

"Aye, chill. I'm a get you to work."

"NO. FUCK YOU," she pointed popping her door open before the car could make a full stop. He didn't stop and she either had to roll out or shut the door. She slammed it. She was finna be late as hell.. Meanwhile he was circling the area tryna go back to find that mystery woman he'd spotted before. Diamond wasn't dumb. She was shaking with anger, talking to herself.

The tall drink of hot chocolate with the god tier afro stood gracefully at the crosswalk looking like she'd flewn right out of heaven and into Stockton. Erik didn't know what the hell he was thinking.. he wasn't.. but he was damn near leaning on Diamond while steering the car closer to the sidewalk, rolling at a crawl to match this new woman's pace as his current sat fuming in the seat, shoving him off of her.

This new woman was divine. There were diamonds dusted in her skin like he'd never seen on a woman who wasn't on a TV screen. When she walked down the sidewalk, the world became chopped and screwed. That's how fixated he was. Not even Diamond slapping at him or shoving him could break his focus on that woman and her walk as he cruised beside her as though the surrounding traffic didn't exist.

"LET ME OUT," Diamond yelled smacking his face. She'd been trying the break the passenger door handle.. like he wouldn't make her pay for it. He finally stopped the car to let her noisy ass walk.

"Bye," he muttered pulling off to catch up with the fro'd up goddess.

"DON'T TALK TO HIM, HE'S TRASH," Diamond yelled from afar, her voice carrying faster than she could physically catch up. Erik wasn't bothered or embarrassed.

He had to think carefully of what to say. How could he impress this girl without her thinking he was a creep? Following her probably wasn't helping. Luckily she dropped something. It looked like money. Seizing his opportunity, he quickly parked in a no parking zone and dashed to snatch up what he discovered to be a twenty dollar bill.

"AYE.." he called ahead to no avail. He had to jog to catch up and when he reached her side, he noticed she had in earbuds. He waved for her attention and she fixed her eyes cautiously. Her almond eyes lined in jet black were just as black. She gritted on him hard. Even her disgusted face attracted him. She turned her nose up until she saw the twenty in his hand folded the same way the one in her pocket had been. He had her. "You dropped this.."

His hand smoothly ghosted hers as she took it. She felt like velvet to the touch.

"Thanks.."

She gave him a second look and he bit his lip as he met her eyes wondering how to make his next move.

"Ok.. so that's it?"

Her question caught him off guard.

"You do all that, follow me for damn near three blocks and now you've got nothing to say? That was anticlimactic."

Erik's jaw dropped slightly before he caught it.

"Wanna ride?"

She turned her nose up and he presented his key fob watching her deliberate on whether or not to trust him.

"Might as well.. before you get towed. Goofy ass," she mumbled with humor. There was something about her voice that was familiar and calming, the deep timbre. He rushed to retrieve the car. His face said it all as he opened the car door for her. It wasn't something he'd been in a habit of doing.

"Why thank you," she smirked.

"Of course... Why walk when you can be chauffeured," he commented when he was in.

"I like my woman black as the heart of an Aryan. Black as the back of a diabetic's neck. Black as coffee with no cream. My girl looks like 2 AM in a blackout."

Erik glanced wistfully to his memories ignorant to the soulful groans, snaps, and hums from the crowd. Of course his woman was no more, but he carried her still regardless..

Erik was stuck. He couldn't be away from his peace especially in the quiet moments when neither of them had anywhere they'd rather be than side by side doing whatever. Nail shop? He was in the pedicure massage chair right beside her with a drink and his feet up. Bank? They'd hit the BB&T and the SunTrust in one trip. They paid bills together.

"E, hand me my debit."

"You tryna pay it?"

"Yeah, I gotta pay today."

"I already did that."

"You paid mine?"

She seemed pleasantly shocked which was what Erik wanted.. to make her happy. Especially considering the pushback she got for their relationship. There were a lot of hating ass bitches.

"I heard you talked to Bianca.." He watched for any sign that she was omitting details to spare him. He didn't need to be spared. She took a deep breath and he knew without her speaking that some choice words had been exchanged. Afterall, he was playing Bianca with a whole girlfriend before leaving them both for this new flame. Bianca hadn't reacted well when she found out. "What she say," he inquired with faux calm. He had every intention of cussing out all his exes.. every one of them who had a problem with him moving on. It was the side effect of dating crazy bitches. They were too passionate. They couldn't just let shit rock, they had to harass him and his girl.

"I ain't worried about her, she can try me if she wants.. I'll knock her ass out that's for sure."

"Aight then," Erik smirked. He still planned to say something. "What she say though," he pressed.

"Same shit. She can't comment on anything but my skin because she knows I look better then her."

Erik was disappointed every time he thought of the fact that he'd unknowingly fucked a self hating colorist. He hadn't seen it before but now that he was serious about this new girl, true colors were showing.. and it wasn't just Bianca.

In a moment of fuck it after a sweaty quickie in the post office parking lot, Erik uploaded a chest-up pic of him and his cutie glowing from within with smiles white enough to rival the purest coke. She clung to him, laughing from the gut with crinkled eyes about something they'd both previously witnessed and he was grinning full force. That was the shot. Very pure. It'd brought him joy just looking at it, but others ain't feel what he felt and they had words about it. He cut off a childhood friend over a conversation where the guy'd said something casually insulting.

"How you ain't mean it when it came outta your mouth," Erik challenged. His friend was a damn coon.

Even worse was witnessing the treatment of her when it wasn't immediately clear they were together. She stood firm and held her own with class and dignity but it was work she didn't deserve to have to do. He couldn't be there for it all and even before he'd entered her life these problems were there.. but still..

"You know you perfect?" Erik asked this question at least once every other day to uplift his woman.

"Erik I need you to pick me up from work today," she said one day and when he asked why, she stated that her tire was flat. There was a nail in it. He sighed rubbing roughly through the fuzzy growout at the base of his locs. It had Evil Ex written all over it.

"I'll take take of it," he ensured. "I'll meet you for lunch too, wait for me."

His dedication knew no bounds. His loyalty had never before existed. His feelings for this woman were like nothing he'd ever felt.

Five months in.. he felt the same way. He'd never lived with a woman.. He'd never been faithful in his life, but then he'd never been in love.

Eight months.. she was still perfection through the good and bad and he'd do anything. He saw it all. The attitude, the dookie braids, the subtle insecurities, the slight messiness around the house, the flaws.. and all he could think of was that... he had his eye on a ring.. one with diamonds that matched the diamonds he saw in her soft rich deep brown skin.

"I'm casting all my game hoping she bite. Told her ass: You got that air that I like. Derriere sky high bite down I like to hit it from the bike. She say she love when daddy cum and fill it up just right."

The ring was still in Erik's pocket. It flipped absentmindedly through his fingers as he spoke. Unfortunately she'd never gotten it.

26 DAYS PRIOR

Erik gave backshots through the hour of 5 PM. Both he and his girl had arrived home around the same time and it was on sight.

"Hey.. Bae.. Get up and fix me something to eat," he whispered in her ear as she was laid out and half asleep. He was laid out as well with little energy after emptying himself of everything. He nudged her and she groaned but sat up.

"You can't fix it? I don't wanna move," she snickered.

"Pleaaaase," he begged watching her give in as she stretched. He smacked her ass as she rose. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes, hungry but ready to sleep. He inhaled her fresh scent left over on the pillow. It reminded him of oceans.

The doorbell rang.

He figured it was a package, something else she'd ordered. The closet was full. He drifted off.

When a half hour passed he opened his eyes and she still hadn't returned, she had to be cooking something. The thought hit him to surprise her in the kitchen by taking her as she cooked. It would be sexy..

When he walked out to the kitchen, he immediately entered a state of shock. Not only was she not cooking or coming back.. She had left a note that amounted to this:

Erik.. I'm leaving you for my ex.

Apparently her ex had showed which meant they'd been in contact... she even let him in.

Turned out he'd been a rebound all along.

"I should've known better..," Erik's head dropped in dark humor as his story came to a close. "When a goddess says her name is Karma that means misery. Better run if you got a history. I guess if she's God then God's testing me. Cuz she sure left with the best of me."

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Widow Diaries - 8

Moving Forward

I have been unable to update my diaries these past few weeks. I have been sorting through all (and I DO MEAN ALL) of my things. I've relived the past 60 plus years of my life in the last three weeks from documents, photographs, objects, smells. I've laughed and sobbed uncontrollably. One day, I was going through my cedar chest and thinning out things because a two bedroom condo will not fit two stories of a three bedroom with a finished basement worth of things in it. I picked up Cliff's high school football jersey #83 and fell into the most pitiful gut wrenching wailing. I wrapped it around me as if he were holding me and allowed those emotions to wash over me until I was spent. It happened a few more times, but there were also moments that I was able to laugh until my belly hurt from it.

The moving truck came yesterday. I have so many boxes piled floor to ceiling into my garage here, but I am now officially living in the condo. I will unpack slowly and continue to thin out my things. I attended a group grief session the other day. Every single thing they said not to do, I've done. Don't make major decisions for six months to a year; don't try to go through and throw out things too quickly; on and on. We laughed when I told them what I was doing. The facilitator told me she had also had to make these choices quickly like I did. I even met one of my new neighbors. I think I will be okay if I ever am able to just rest a day or two. It was hard leaving the last home Cliff and I ever lived in together. The new place will not have the ghost of Cliff lingering in this room or on that chair. He is here, but it's not the same.

Some good things are happening, too. I started a podcast through work: Murder and Mayhem in Jefferson County, Missouri. It is a 20 to 30 minute session of stories of murders and scandals that have occurred in the county's 200 year history. The idea was to use the genealogy resources we have available for our patrons to put together stories that are intriguing and interesting. And people seem to love true crime. The hook in my stories is since these are rural, small town events, they tend to tie together at some point. I started recording and uploading them to Buzzsprout.com in January and so far have 6 stories. Each Tuesday at 5 pm, a new story gets published. They are available on Buzzprout.com, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and several other sites. (jeffcomomurderandmayhem.buzzsprout.com) I was astounded at how fast it grew. I've had close to 1,000 downloads in six weeks!

Anyway, the St. Louis talk radio station KMOX 1120 AM contacted me and wanted to do an interview about it a couple of Tuesdays ago, and I was on my way when they called to say they were so sorry, but apparently Tom Brady retired and that event knocked my interview to another day. I got a call yesterday that they are going to try again next Tuesday (February 15) beginning at 11 am to 2 pm. But they are going to interview me and are planning to have a psychologist there to talk about my subject and we'll discuss why people are fascinated with murder and death stories. If you are interested in hearing it, they have a live stream that can be heard online. If they don't cancel again, I'll be on the "St. Louis Talks Show."

So, as you can see, I have been so crazy busy. I've been packing, painting, trying to research, write, record, mix, and upload the podcast while also trying to take care of the bills and closing out accounts for Cliff while opening and keeping up with new accounts. My brain is totally fried. I find myself unable to think clearly. I went to the bank yesterday to deposit a check and as I was pulling out of the lot, I noticed a truck behind me who apparently wasn't looking and he started backing up, too. I stopped the truck thinking surely he'll see this big, red monstrous truck behind him! Nope. He hit me. It did put a dent in the fender, but I needed to get to the condo because the movers were on their way. I just told him to let it go. It seems that I am destined to wreck every vehicle I touch now.

The new place is beginning to look like a place I can live. I'll be unpacking boxes for the next 30 years, but I can slow down a little now that I don't have to run 25 miles back and forth between the houses every day. I still have a lot left at the Hillsboro house, but I'll get to that, too. Maybe the next time I write, I'll include a photo or two of the condo.

Buster & Rio

Buster: Let me in, like Buster: Come on Buster: Where are you? Rio: What you chatting? Buster: I'm here, why are you not? Rio: You better be joking Rio: 'cos I ain't even in the country rn Rio: Why would you not ring ahead? Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: Where are you then? Rio: Idk what to tell you boy Rio: Paris 🥐🍷💝 Buster: Hilarious Buster: Where are you really? Rio: I'm not that shit at the jokes Rio: Really Rio: [Hotel room snap with suitable Paris view] Buster: What the fuck Rio: Always a good time for Paris, yeah? Buster: Says you Rio: like I said, you shoulda hmu before Rio: be back Monday Buster: Whatever Buster: Catch you later then Rio: Don't be like that Buster: Don't be in Paris Rio: Oh yeah, I'll just cancel and fly back now Rio: If you wanna see me I can stop off in London or can you wait the 2 days Buster: Forget it I'll go find something else to do Rio: Alright Rio: well, I'm sorry I missed you Buster: Sure whatever the fuck you're doing in Paris will be worth it Rio: No shit, why else would I be here Rio: Not gonna get a souvenir with that attitude though Buster: Save the french maid outfit, it's basic Rio: ew, you don't need to tell me Rio: what's sexy about maybe just having had your hand down the u-bend like 😷 Buster: If you were in Germany they'd be into that Rio: Thank God he ain't then Rio: no thank you Buster: Won't keep you from enjoying where you are, like Rio: Obviously Rio: though make the dinner chat more awkward if I'm having to swerve that level of filth Rio: be like talking with you 😜 Buster: Yeah well don't feel the need to keep this convo going Buster: Didn't come to chat Rio: Good job, like Rio: natural conversationalist, you Buster: Fuck off Buster: You've never complained before Rio: What you in such a mood for Rio: Sure you got plenty other connections in Dubo Buster: So have you Buster: Don't need to be jet setting Rio: Yeah but it'd be stupid not to take the chance when it's all being paid for Buster: And you wouldn't wanna be stupid, yeah? Buster: 'Cause this is such a smart move Buster: And you never lose your shit when I offer to pay for anything for anyone, like Rio: This ain't my first rodeo, don't worry, I know what I'm doing Rio: everyone knows where I am, separate rooms, never going back to his, all that jazz Rio: and that's different and unrelated Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: Tah for the concern, though Buster: I ain't Rio: Yeah you are Buster: You wish, Cavante Buster: Be as stupid as you want, I'm just mad that it ain't benefiting me this once Buster: Like you said, I'll get over it Rio: Sweet Rio: Don't worry, it's not weird, you'd be a pretty shit cousin if you just let me die without batting an eyelid Rio: Ma'd be radging Buster: Shut up Rio: 😂 Buster: You're not funny, I don't know how many times I've gotta say it Rio: But you say so much bullshit Buster: Trying to keep up with you, that's all Rio: Try harder next time Rio: 🛫 Buster: If you want me to come there you're gonna have to ask me nicer than that Rio: As if you would Buster: What like that cunt is the only one who can afford the flights? Come on Rio: Yeah, but you're not that cunt Rio: don't have to make flights or fly girls out to spend time with you Rio: sad, really Buster: Don't have to, nah Rio: You're really gonna come here just to fuck me? Buster: Do you want me to? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm bored Rio: but why do you wanna, what's in it for you? Buster: I'm bored too Rio: Alright Rio: I'm not going to stop you Buster: Good 'cause I clicked confirm when you said yeah Rio: You're crazy Rio: also, you've gotta be subtle, do you think you can manage that? 😏 Rio: hardly be buzzin' I'm having other blokes over, like Rio: not his kink Buster: You know how good I am at keeping secrets Rio: Fair point Buster: Yeah Buster: I make them a lot, you just don't listen Rio: Ha, don't get carried away Buster: Bit late for that Buster: I'm throwing my shit in a bag right now Rio: just a day in the life for you, is it? 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: when you getting here Buster: [sends flight deets] Buster: Reckon you can handle that? Rio: Whoa, you are keen 😉 Rio: make sure you give yourself time to pre-drink in the airport though Rio: catching up must be done Buster: Cheers Buster: 🍾 Rio: Seriously Rio: had so many bottles sent up I could bathe in the shit Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: Hopefully that wasn't the idea 🤔 soz babe Buster: Probably Buster: But you've had a better one so Rio: 🤷 Rio: Can't deny Rio: s'cool, I used the ice buckets to their full potential Rio: everyone's happy Buster: Behave Buster: I don't need to know about how you've been making him feel Rio: Why not? Rio: Just giving you an idea of why you're coming Buster: We both know why I'm coming Buster: And there's no comparison, like Rio: Yeah, not saying it's a competition, like Buster: Don't need to hear it then, do I Rio: Got it Rio: only worth mentioning if it strokes your ego otherwise 😶 Buster: That goes without saying Buster: Nobody better Rio: Not gonna agree 'til you prove it, like Buster: Alright Rio: You spoken to Nance recently Buster: Why? Rio: Just wondering how they're getting on Rio: Never get hold of Bills these days Buster: Ask Nance yourself Rio: That's a no then Buster: What are you bringing her up for? Buster: Way to kill the mood, like Rio: Whatever, you've got a whole plane journey to get it back Rio: I can ask questions Buster: I just don't see why that'll be the question you'd choose to ask Buster: But like you said, whatever Rio: What do you want me to ask then? Rio: What's up? Buster: Nothing Buster: You know I'm bored, already said it Rio: Yeah Rio: you gotta get new friends Rio: can't get a bird or Chlo will be even more of a dick Buster: I can do what I like Buster: But I've got enough crazy in my life with her, that's true Buster: Don't need to be tied down to anyone else Rio: Yeah, obviously but girls like her are always cunty when you get a new missus, guarantee Buster: When isn't she? Buster: Only happy when I fucked her that one time and I don't even remember it Rio: Bless Rio: Wonder what's actually up with her, or she's just a natural-born cow Buster: Other than being hopelessly in love with me, I don't know Buster: Nance might have some ideas though Rio: I know, I know Rio: you don't wanna chitchat with me Rio: I've done one too many lines I'm chatting shite Buster: Say something to change my mind then, it's not that hard Buster: And you better save a few lines for me Rio: Like what? Rio: we don't talk that's not what we do Rio: just get him to get more Buster: We're talking now Buster: Ain't my fault you keep bringing him up Buster: Or my sister Rio: Yeah but that's the real shit Rio: real life Buster: So what? Buster: You want this to be real now? Buster: Fuck off Rio: Nah Rio: Ugh, forget it Buster: No Buster: Tell me Rio: I don't know Rio: My head's just fucked, nothing new Buster: How much have you had? Buster: Don't just say too much Rio: rinsed this whole bag Rio: pretty much Buster: Take it easy now until I get there, yeah? Rio: yeah Rio: sorry, just ignore me Buster: You know I can't, babe Buster: You're too fucking hot for that Rio: Idiot Rio: thanks Buster: No need to thank me Buster: I'm not there yet Rio: I can thank you properly when you get here Buster: Yeah Rio: 😣 Rio: i said forget it Rio: sound more excited yeah Buster: You know I am Buster: But I can give a shit about the state of you, can't I? Rio: You reckon I'm always one Rio: not stopped you before Buster: Shut up Rio: Truth hurts, babe Buster: Might if I heard it, but you're chatting shit Rio: You want the truth? Okay, truth is you've been fucking this state and you love it, so what does that make you Buster: Fuck you Buster: I'm just trying to make sure you're alright Rio: Ain't your job Buster: Well, he ain't doing it Rio: Definition of looked after here Rio: check the bank balance Buster: I know you ain't the smartest, but even you can check a definition on your phone, like Rio: Fuck you Rio: don't come Buster: You can't stop me Rio: Fine but I'm gonna smack you one Rio: twat Buster: No you aren't Buster: You want me there, still Rio: you reckon? Buster: I know you do Rio: so what Rio: don't mean nothing Rio: i wanna get fucked and he's not gonna cut it Buster: 'Course Rio: so fucking arrogant Buster: You love it Rio: Whatever Rio: if you're coming at me with the old catchphrases I'm off Rio: room 223, i'll let 'em know you're coming Buster: Don't Rio: You reckon they'll clock me as a working girl? Rio: Valid, here's hoping they look the other way Buster: Rio Buster: Stop it, yeah? Rio: I don't think I can Buster: Bullshit Buster: Just wait for me Rio: Fine Buster: Fine Rio: Mature Buster: I'm not 95 Buster: If you want mature get him back in Rio: Shut up Rio: He ain't that old Rio: if he was there'd be no time for you, tryna get in that will asap Buster: Behave Rio: Yeah, that's what you want Buster: With him, yeah, I do Rio: I don't sleep with them Buster: I don't wanna know Rio: Just saying Buster: Do what you want Rio: Plan to Buster: Yeah Rio: You're cute Buster: Fuck off Rio: Aww Buster: Who's immature now, like Rio: I ain't pretending otherwise Buster: Got enough pretending to do, yeah? Rio: Ha, you sure you're in a position to come for me on that one? Buster: I ain't Buster: Just saying, that's all Rio: Anything else you wanna say, McKenna? Buster: Nah Buster: Like you said, we don't talk Rio: now's your chance Rio: you already getting smacked when you get here so in for a penny, like Buster: You wish, babe Buster: You've clearly got something you want me to say though Buster: Go on Rio: Why should I if you won't Rio: play fair Buster: Why should I? Rio: Try it, you might like it Buster: You'd love it, you mean Rio: Yeah, you got it Rio: I'm OBSESSED with you Rio: 🙄 Buster: Deny it Rio: Please Buster: You can't Rio: Your pillowtalk needs are getting a bit much, babe Buster: Still not a no from you, is it? Rio: Just protecting your fragile ego, boy Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're protecting yourself Rio: You what Rio: Why do you want me to say it Buster: I'm on a flight to another country for you Buster: You can say it Rio: Alright Rio: You already know Buster: Tell me anyway Rio: I'm obsessed with you Rio: and I want you here Rio: 😶 gah Buster: I'll be there soon Buster: I wanna be Buster: It's alright Rio: it's not though, is it Rio: but you know Buster: It will be Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: How can I not? Buster: You know I'll help you forget Rio: Yeah Buster: Do you want me to take you somewhere else? Buster: I can Rio: You trying rack up your airmiles, babe? Rio: Where Buster: I don't care Buster: Wherever you want Rio: No, it doesn't matter Rio: here's as good as anywhere else Buster: It matters Buster: But we can stay Rio: why do you bother Rio: so much hassle Buster: Shut up Buster: You know that's bullshit Rio: Genuinely, though Rio: I know I'm a delight most of the time but Buster: You have your moments Rio: Dangerously close to a compliment, there Buster: Yeah, well Rio: s'alright Rio: you can say it Buster: Sometimes I can stand you Buster: You're testing it now, like but Rio: 😘😂

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT WORDS

So in effect what the US News list is meaningful is precisely because they are so that I know for sure would be to stick his head up and look around. The defining feature of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much from working on problems of minor importance. When you're trying to stop doing it, but several planned to, and I can't see the gears at work. Whereas founders' intuitions about which hill to climb are usually better than they realize. Some we helped with technical advice—for example, would increase the spammers' cost to reach a given audience by a factor of 10 in speed. Is Not Too Fussy. Angels are a bit like anaerobic respiration: not the optimum solution for the long term it's to your advantage: you can shut down the company if he'd let us have it. These can get a job. There were ashtrays everywhere. My parents were pretty good about admitting when they didn't know what language our software was easy to do, identify a core that's both a useful on its own, is to separate the things you need at most are the 13 people, because there are so few of them.

But there is something amiss. The industry term here is conversion.1 And unfortunately there is a way in which internal limits are expressed. Like a parent saying to a child, that if you just keep following the truth wherever it leads rather than being influenced by some initial vision, just as I might into Harvard Square or University Ave in Palo Alto. It helps to have everything in one head. Many painters might have thought, this is true.2 We were open with investors about that from the start. Some are fit only for entry level jobs, but because software is so hard to follow is that people work harder on stuff they like, but what they want to invest in you, what if they fail? Would that kill spam? For example, I use it when I get nothing done, because I'm not sure why it has. That's my goal, at least de facto, expected to prepare them for their careers.

Of course the habits of mind is to ask yourself whether you'll care about it in 1974, and the odds of any individual startup going public are small, but they invest other people's money, and have something crude but serviceable, like a prophet, that there would soon be a computer with an Internet connection, b has an incentive to create a new language. A company making computer hardware might not become profitable for 5 years, during which they spent $50 million. Plus most of them, because when you're growing slow by word of mouth and references in the press about online commerce. Over-engineering is poison. The average founder is eager to do it. Sum up all these sources of error in your own head—will immediately reply that you'd be happy to sell his company for $15 million, but are so caught up in their squabble they don't realize the danger.3 I don't want to raise VC-scale funding, and investors are induced by the customs of existing large organizations like the Roman army or the British East India Company were any less afflicted by protocol and politics than organizations of the same curve can be high. 06451222 difficult 0.4 Bill Gates?

It could be that impact.5 Why should there be any limit to the number of jobs is within ten percent of the wealth. The main point of essay writing. This works in America, at least. 15. What do they have to be really good at seeming formidable is that it's part of the reason VCs are the way to do this, but they want a language that's too low-level, we wouldn't think of the first she did, the founders still had a majority of voters now think invading Iraq was a mistake, of exactly the same work, except with bosses. In that case the money invested in the angel round just converts into stock at the valuation of the 287 that have valuations either by raising an equity round, getting acquired, or dying is about $11. We also see signs of a good idea to write the new program in the base language, you either have to get better at your job.6 There used to be rare and valuable skill, and the transformation was equally dramatic.7 It didn't have any noticeable effect. The x in Ajax is from the sciences.

The other reason no one was looking, and full of expensive fittings. The Northwest Passage that the Mannerists, the Romantics, and two are still unique to Lisp, perhaps because a it requires those parens, or something a small number of expensive ones. And not just because they want to do exactly the opposite: having good ideas is not think up but notice. That doesn't mean people are getting angrier. But the aim is never to stop pursuing alternatives. Counterargument.8 America, because the processing power of a wristwatch.

Its fifteen most interesting words are as follows: continuation 0. To have kids! Depends what you mean by free. In fairness, I have a general idea of the language, but whether it brings any advantage at all. We're not a replacement for x; look for something that doesn't happen to your brain till then, but because it throws off the Social Radar. Money is a comparatively recent invention.9 The huge investments themselves are something founders would dislike, if they lobbied successfully for laws requiring us all to continue to believe something like this would happen. The key to being a train car that in fact had its own momentum. If someone made x we'd buy it in a bank? To What Extent? In principle investors are all competing for the same reason Google and Facebook have all been obsessed with hiring the best programmers can work wherever he wants on projects of his own company.

Viaweb.10 If you ever got me, you wouldn't find those in our high school library. That, it turned out to be is represented by Milton. And could I have missed something so obvious for so long the large organizations in a society where it's ok to be optimistic about the possibility of bugs. Well, obviously overtly sexy applications like stealth planes or special effects software would be interesting to try and write down what you said; expect 80% of the time not to raise money, it's not because you're supposed to. Right? As he is at pains to point out, they will be much faster than they could get paid for it.11 Of which, if turned on, would spider every url in a legitimate mail wouldn't do that.

They increased from about 2% of the world persists. In the process we may decrease economic inequality. For example, someone who really devoted himself to work could generate ten or even hundreds of microcancers going at once, and decided to just work as hard as they possibly could at drawing for the next Steve Jobs. -Resolution fundraising: if you want to make code too dense. If the rich people? Startups don't win by dramatic innovations so much as the people who run them.12 Is life actually short, or are we really saying?

Notes

What I'm claiming with the melon seed model is more like Silicon Valley like the application of math to real problems, but it is still what seemed to Aristotle the core: the way they have less money, you can discriminate on the ability to predict at the data in files too. It also set off an extensive and often useful discussion on the LL1 mailing list. But it's hard to erase from a technology center is the case of journalists, someone did, but it seems unlikely at the outset which founders will do that.

In my current filter, but essentially a startup is rare.

Don't ask investors who say no to drugs. I can't tell you all the way investors say No.

Which is probably part of a severe-looking man with a product of number of big companies, executives at 300 big corporations. It would have turned out the words we use have a taste for interesting ideas: whether you want to give them sufficient activation energy required to notice them. Not linearly of course.

I've talked about before, but this disappointment is mostly evidence that the applicant pool gets partitioned by quality rather than lose a prized employee.

Joshua Schachter tells me it was because he had more fun in college. And if they could attribute to the principle that if you get, the mean annual wage in the 1984 ad isn't Microsoft, incidentally, that alone could in principle is that promising ideas are not merely a complicated but pointless collection of specious beliefs about how to be, unchanging, but also very informative essay about it as a single VC investment that began with an idea where there is some weakness in your next round. No central goverment would put its two best universities in the right direction to be room for startups. 54 million, and FreeBSD 1.

Strictly speaking it's not the original source of income and b not allow them to act against their own interests. Family, school, and made more margin loans.

Oddly enough, even if we just implemented it ourselves, so it may not be incorporated, but not the bawdy plays acted over on the matter.

It may be whether what you call the Metaphysics came after meta after the first version was mostly Lisp, they still probably won't invest. And you should seek outside advice, and then a block or so and we don't have to choose between great people. Our secret is to fork off separate processes to deal with slaps, but they can't legitimately ask you a series of numbers that are only partially driven by money. If you invest in these funds have no way to tell them to represent anything.

It was born when Plato and Aristotle looked at with fresh eyes and even if the company than you expect.

I say in principle is that they were just getting started.

Historically, scarce-resource arguments have been sent packing by the fact that established companies is that your peers are chosen for you by accidents of age and geography, rather than trying to sell earlier than you otherwise would have undesirable side effects.

Thanks to Patrick Collison, Anton van Straaten, Peter Norvig, Jessica Livingston, Richard Jowsey, Sangam Pant, Paul Buchheit, Robert Morris, and Sam Altman for their feedback on these thoughts.

9. Make You an Offer

"Uht UHHH!" Renee' frowned nudging Ivy's hand away as it reached for the big spoon laying on a napkin near the crockpot of steaming greens cooked with hamhock. "Ivy, now you know I better than to walk into my kitchen and touch food without washing your hands. Go wash up," she waved to the kitchen opening.

Ivy had nearly forgotten how anal her mama was about hand-washing. Through her youth, it was always the rule. Even through all the shit they'd gone through with her father being a rolling stone and her brother scamming everyone and their alopecia mamas, always in trouble. Her mom always found a way to care about the most simple shit. Ivy appreciated it. It brought a sense of normalcy.

"You shouldn't be hungry, YOU JUST ATE," Renee' yelled as Ivy scurried off to the bathroom, sudsing her hands quickly under the water. She looked at her phone noting a missed call from her brother as she dried her hands on the towel over the sink. He was probably hitting her up for cash.

"I can't help that you cook good," Ivy muttered marching into the kitchen to grab the metal spoon, scooping a small amount into a bowl. Despite her mama's glare, she stood there with a sneaky smirk next to the counter and picked at the greens with the pads of her fingers, eating the meat separately.

"Chile..." Renee' muttered shaking her head, humored as she retreated heading to her room. It was a small house in a fairly tame neighborhood. The neighbors were black. There were white folk across the street. Ivy had lived there and worked for a few years before going out on her own.

Once she'd gotten on her feet with her steady paycheck and the money she'd saved from summer jobs, she'd maintained and pushed from then on. It was rare that she needed her mama, she could typically handle herself. But these were rare times.

Ivy strolled to the comfortable hunter green living room couch, nestling into the soft cushion with her knee up, level with her chest. The couch had been donated to them by a member of her mom's church when they first moved. She turned on the television for background noise and ignored it, looking at her phone and hesitating with her finger over the call button. Her brother's name was right beneath the long white fingernail of her middle finger.

Riiing... Riiing...

"Hello? Ivy?"

Ivy's eyes rolled as her fingers tapped her thigh.

"Ivy?... You there? ...Ivy."

"What Ivan," Ivy asked calmly trying not to get smart.

"Yeah, you won't believe this sis. I started this business putting niggas on, all it took... was $400. They gimme the money... I help em flip it. Simple. Had niggas getting thousands back from the bank. You tryna make some money? I could get your rent and the payment for that Nissan payed off for you..."

"No thanks. That's all you wanted?"

"You don't want your phone bill payed? You could be shopping, what you want?"

"I'm not interested."

"How you not interested in money!?"

"So you getting your son from Tarsha this weekend?"

"Huh? Oh I'm not in town, I'm in Tampa," he pauses.

"Hm."

Ivan kisses his teeth. "I'm outta town! I can't get him right now," he reasons, voice high. In actuality, Ivan does what he wants and he's selfish. He never does what he's supposed to for that boy. His baby mamas have to chase him down.

"What's this about a stalker I hear?"

"Mama told you?" Ivy didn't expect her mom to say anything to him. What could he do anyways? He's across the country.

"What you do to that man," he teases, but it's not funny. It's a serious situation. "Nah, but let me know," he says when you're silent. "I'll get over there somehow."

"Ivan. Do you know anyone in California who got hands or can shoot?"

"That's why I ain't want y'all out there. You outta my network sis."

That's was actually one reason why Ms. Renee' and Ivy chose California in the first place, to escape the bullshit. Ivy couldn't find it within herself to regret the move.

Still, she thought about his offer. How would he get to her? She'd have to pay and chances were he was just using concern for her as an excuse to get to California.

"If you came to California who would you stay with?... Mom has space but if you stress her out you will never be invited back, do you hear me?... Ivan, you better say something.... IVAN."

Ivy lowered the phone to see that the call had dropped. She tried calling Ivan again, but with no success.

She tried her mom's phone and again it did not work. There was no signal. She tried to send her mom a text and the message failed.

Ivy grabbed the fios remote and turned the TV down to a low hum, listening to the air. She thought she'd heard a bump a minute ago and had thought nothing of it, but suddenly she was thinking about it. Listening closely, she waited. There was silence and nothing seemed strange as far as sounds. Her finger hovered over the volume button, but she didn't turn the TV back up.

Her sixth sense tingled. She stood quietly from the couch and grabbed the car keys from the kitchen before walking to the door and peering through the peephole. She exited the house and manually unlocked the car for minimum noise, popping the trunk. Beside a baby blue blanket and a pair of 6 inch nude sepia closed toe heels sat a locked black gun box. Her matte black 9 mm sat inside and she checked it to make sure it was still fully loaded. It was.

Aiming it at the ground, she contemplated driving away in the car,  but where else would she go? She couldn't keep walking away from her shit and her life, but she felt paranoid and she hated that feeling.

She felt like something was off and she didn't trust it. But what if something was off? She couldn't just leave her mom in the house alone. It wasn't her mom's issue, it was hers. One fuckin dentist was pissing her off and she as she tucked the car keys in her pocket looking around, she determined that no man would run her from her place and her mama's place. She tried calling her mom's cell again from outside, waiting. If her phone wasn't working then her mom's probably wasn't either.

"This is irritating," she sighed looking at the phone. She couldn't even send an email.

Without a second thought, she was back in the house. "MAMA," she yelled up the stairs, "Where you at?"

Her mom should have responded knowing Ivy was already anxious.  When she got no response, she jogged to the kitchen landline and there was no dial tone. She tried pushing random buttons and then she noticed that the chord had been cut. How long had it been that way?

"Fuck this shit," she mumbled raising her gun to the kitchen door. "First thing that moves that isn't my mama gettin popped. This some ol' bullshit."

Her finger sat on the trigger ready to fire off on anything that jumped out. Her ears were peeled and sharp as she stepped up quietly on the carpeted stairs.

At the top of the short staircase, Ivy peered down the short hall and peered into the first open bedroom door. A full laundry basket sat on the made up tan bed in the small room. That was the only thing she could point out. She moved forward pointing her gun into the bathroom finding it empty. She stared at the shower curtain before determining that there was nothing behind it. Moving forward, there was the hall closet with the towel shelves and one more door. If Renee' wasn't in there, the wasn't anywhere else she could be. She stepped into the room and almost fired at the chair in front of her until she recognized the person slumped in it as her mom. Her heartrate spiked as she rushed to touch her still warm neck, checking for a pulse.

"She's fine," a low voice rasped from behind sending chills down Ivy's back. She turned, whipping her gun to shoot and fired missing him by an inch as he dodged, firing his own gun. 

"Ah," Ivy winced grabbing her shoulder.  "You fuckin psycho!"

She'd been shot in the shoulder and now she was really mad. She'd never been shot before and now she was beginning to feel foggy in the head. Through the pain, she aimed and hit him in the chest with two bullets watching him stumble back. He held his titty in his hand and winced, but he didn't fall. Ivy sighed, her head suddenly feeling too light.

"Bad girl, Ms. Stevens," he muttered with a slight shake of his head. "I came here to make you an offer." He pulled his shirt over his head revealing thick, defined arms and a black vest.

"Bitch is that a bulletproof vest?! I'm done," Ivy sighed throwing her uninjured arm in the air.

"It is.. and that was a loaded dart I hit you with. You'll be out in about 30 seconds to 2 minutes--Listen. I won't hurt anyone else, I just want you. Don't make this difficult."

"Yeah, Ivy. Don't make this difficult," a familiar second voice repeated.

"Didn't I say stay in the car," he snapped.

Ivy's vision was doubled. She was seeing two of everything. Hoping she got the right one, she aimed her gun at the tiny woman and pulled the trigger before feeling herself hit the floor.

@youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @blackpantherimagine   @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @drsunshine97 @indigoxsummers @cccccx1  @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @sheisexcellent @blackpinup22

9. Make You an Offer

"Uht UHHH!" Renee' frowned nudging Ivy's hand away as it reached for the big spoon laying on a napkin near the crockpot of steaming greens cooked with hamhock. "Ivy, now you know I better than to walk into my kitchen and touch food without washing your hands. Go wash up," she waved to the kitchen opening.

Ivy had nearly forgotten how anal her mama was about hand-washing. Through her youth, it was always the rule. Even through all the shit they'd gone through with her father being a rolling stone and her brother scamming everyone and their alopecia mamas, always in trouble. Her mom always found a way to care about the most simple shit. Ivy appreciated it. It brought a sense of normalcy.

"You shouldn't be hungry, YOU JUST ATE," Renee' yelled as Ivy scurried off to the bathroom, sudsing her hands quickly under the water. She looked at her phone noting a missed call from her brother as she dried her hands on the towel over the sink. He was probably hitting her up for cash.

"I can't help that you cook good," Ivy muttered marching into the kitchen to grab the metal spoon, scooping a small amount into a bowl. Despite her mama's glare, she stood there with a sneaky smirk next to the counter and picked at the greens with the pads of her fingers, eating the meat separately.

"Chile..." Renee' muttered shaking her head, humored as she retreated heading to her room. It was a small house in a fairly tame neighborhood. The neighbors were black. There were white folk across the street. Ivy had lived there and worked for a few years before going out on her own.

Once she'd gotten on her feet with her steady paycheck and the money she'd saved from summer jobs, she'd maintained and pushed from then on. It was rare that she needed her mama, she could typically handle herself. But these were rare times.

Ivy strolled to the comfortable hunter green living room couch, nestling into the soft cushion with her knee up, level with her chest. The couch had been donated to them by a member of her mom's church when they first moved. She turned on the television for background noise and ignored it, looking at her phone and hesitating with her finger over the call button. Her brother's name was right beneath the long white fingernail of her middle finger.

Riiing... Riiing...

"Hello? Ivy?"

Ivy's eyes rolled as her fingers tapped her thigh.

"Ivy?... You there? ...Ivy."

"What Ivan," Ivy asked calmly trying not to get smart.

"Yeah, you won't believe this sis. I started this business putting niggas on, all it took... was $400. They gimme the money... I help em flip it. Simple. Had niggas getting thousands back from the bank. You tryna make some money? I could get your rent and the payment for that Nissan payed off for you..."

"No thanks. That's all you wanted?"

"You don't want your phone bill payed? You could be shopping, what you want?"

"I'm not interested."

"How you not interested in money!?"

"So you getting your son from Tarsha this weekend?"

"Huh? Oh I'm not in town, I'm in Tampa," he pauses.

"Hm."

Ivan kisses his teeth. "I'm outta town! I can't get him right now," he reasons, voice high. In actuality, Ivan does what he wants and he's selfish. He never does what he's supposed to for that boy. His baby mamas have to chase him down.

"What's this about a stalker I hear?"

"Mama told you?" Ivy didn't expect her mom to say anything to him. What could he do anyways? He's across the country.

"What you do to that man," he teases, but it's not funny. It's a serious situation. "Nah, but let me know," he says when you're silent. "I'll get over there somehow."

"Ivan. Do you know anyone in California who got hands or can shoot?"

"That's why I ain't want y'all out there. You outta my network sis."

That's was actually one reason why Ms. Renee' and Ivy chose California in the first place, to escape the bullshit. Ivy couldn't find it within herself to regret the move.

Still, she thought about his offer. How would he get to her? She'd have to pay and chances were he was just using concern for her as an excuse to get to California.

"If you came to California who would you stay with?... Mom has space but if you stress her out you will never be invited back, do you hear me?... Ivan, you better say something.... IVAN."

Ivy lowered the phone to see that the call had dropped. She tried calling Ivan again, but with no success.

She tried her mom's phone and again it did not work. There was no signal. She tried to send her mom a text and the message failed.

Ivy grabbed the fios remote and turned the TV down to a low hum, listening to the air. She thought she'd heard a bump a minute ago and had thought nothing of it, but suddenly she was thinking about it. Listening closely, she waited. There was silence and nothing seemed strange as far as sounds. Her finger hovered over the volume button, but she didn't turn the TV back up.

Her sixth sense tingled. She stood quietly from the couch and grabbed the car keys from the kitchen before walking to the door and peering through the peephole. She exited the house and manually unlocked the car for minimum noise, popping the trunk. Beside a baby blue blanket and a pair of 6 inch nude sepia closed toe heels sat a locked black gun box. Her matte black 9 mm sat inside and she checked it to make sure it was still fully loaded. It was.

Aiming it at the ground, she contemplated driving away in the car,  but where else would she go? She couldn't keep walking away from her shit and her life, but she felt paranoid and she hated that feeling.

She felt like something was off and she didn't trust it. But what if something was off? She couldn't just leave her mom in the house alone. It wasn't her mom's issue, it was hers. One fuckin dentist was pissing her off and she as she tucked the car keys in her pocket looking around, she determined that no man would run her from her place and her mama's place. She tried calling her mom's cell again from outside, waiting. If her phone wasn't working then her mom's probably wasn't either.

"This is irritating," she sighed looking at the phone. She couldn't even send an email.

Without a second thought, she was back in the house. "MAMA," she yelled up the stairs, "Where you at?"

Her mom should have responded knowing Ivy was already anxious.  When she got no response, she jogged to the kitchen landline and there was no dial tone. She tried pushing random buttons and then she noticed that the chord had been cut. How long had it been that way?

"Fuck this shit," she mumbled raising her gun to the kitchen door. "First thing that moves that isn't my mama gettin popped. This some ol' bullshit."

Her finger sat on the trigger ready to fire off on anything that jumped out. Her ears were peeled and sharp as she stepped up quietly on the carpeted stairs.

At the top of the short staircase, Ivy peered down the short hall and peered into the first open bedroom door. A full laundry basket sat on the made up tan bed in the small room. That was the only thing she could point out. She moved forward pointing her gun into the bathroom finding it empty. She stared at the shower curtain before determining that there was nothing behind it. Moving forward, there was the hall closet with the towel shelves and one more door. If Renee' wasn't in there, the wasn't anywhere else she could be. She stepped into the room and almost fired at the chair in front of her until she recognized the person slumped in it as her mom. Her heartrate spiked as she rushed to touch her still warm neck, checking for a pulse.

"She's fine," a low voice rasped from behind sending chills down Ivy's back. She turned, whipping her gun to shoot and fired missing him by an inch as he dodged, firing his own gun. 

"Ah," Ivy winced grabbing her shoulder.  "You fuckin psycho!"

She'd been shot in the shoulder and now she was really mad. She'd never been shot before and now she was beginning to feel foggy in the head. Through the pain, she aimed and hit him in the chest with two bullets watching him stumble back. He held his titty in his hand and winced, but he didn't fall. Ivy sighed, her head suddenly feeling too light.

"Bad girl, Ms. Stevens," he muttered with a slight shake of his head. "I came here to make you an offer." He pulled his shirt over his head revealing thick, defined arms and a black vest.

"Bitch is that a bulletproof vest?! I'm done," Ivy sighed throwing her uninjured arm in the air.

"It is.. and that was a loaded dart I hit you with. You'll be out in about 30 seconds to 2 minutes--Listen. I won't hurt anyone else, I just want you. Don't make this difficult."

"Yeah, Ivy. Don't make this difficult," a familiar second voice repeated.

"Didn't I say stay in the car," he snapped.

Ivy's vision was doubled. She was seeing two of everything. Hoping she got the right one, she aimed her gun at the tiny woman and pulled the trigger before feeling herself hit the floor.

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