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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

Note

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

#mama logan #little big eating disorder #do not reblog #long post #asks #adorable undead queen #little big after dark concepts

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 4 years

Text

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 11

Warning!! Spoilers from Defending Jacob!!

I didn't hear from Andy again for hours, it wasn't until around 10:30 that my phone started ringing.

"Hey" i answered quickly "how bad is it?"

"The worst..... the partial finger print they found was a match for Jake.... Y/N they've arrested him!".

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Ive had the police at my house all day, they've torn the place apart..."

"Shit..... i'm so sorry...."

"I tried to tell them this doesn't prove Jake killed Ben.... they knew each other, they have the same classes.... there could be a hundred different reasons for that fingerprint!" I could tell by his tone that he was more than likely pacing as he told me what had been happening.

"So what happens now?"

"I had to hire him a lawyer, we're going down to the courthouse first thing in the morning for the arraignment, find out what the bail is gonna be set at. We went down to the station to see him earlier, it was awful having to leave him there.... it broke my heart. How can they think my son is capable of killing this kid... his a good kid"

"I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better...." i sighed picking at a loose thread on the cushion in my lap.

"I know. You don't have to say anything its nice just having someone to talk to"

"Hows Laurie handling it?"

"I don't know, shes been pretty quiet. She wont talk about it.... shes been tidying Jakes room since we got home"

"You should go check she's okay..... she's going to need you Andy"

"And what about what i need?....."

"You'll need eachother..."

"Thats not what i need....." he mumbled quietly but i still heard.

"You should go try and get some sleep, if you need me you know where i am"

"Okay.... thank you Y/N"

"Anytime".

We said our goodbyes and ended the call, i tossed my phone on the coffee table shaking my head. Id met Jacob a couple times over the months id worked with Andy and he seemed like such a sweet kid.... how was this happening?

Around 11 i headed to bed, i wasn't tired at all but i had to try and get some sleep. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for way too long! My head whipped towards the bedroom door when i heard a light knocking at the front door. I sat up kicking off the sheets and walking over to the window, peering out i saw Andy standing there! Looking down at myself i realised i was only wearing a tank top and my panties, i grabbed my dressing gown from the back of the door and quickly slipped it on as i made my way downstairs.

"Hey.... sorry to just stop by like this i know its late...." he said as soon as i opened the door.

"Its fine.... you okay?"

"I don't know, i went for a drive to clear my head and ended up here" he shrugged shaking his head.

"You wanna come in? I can make you a cup of tea...."

"Okay, yeah that'd be nice. You sure?...."

"Of course, come in. I couldn't sleep anyway" i smiled opening the door wide enough for him to come in. He followed me into the kitchen taking off his coat and tossing it over the back of one of my dining room chairs. I pulled a couple of mugs out the cupboard and flicked on the kettle, when i turned around Andy was walking towards me undoing his top button of his shirt and loosening his tie. He looked exhausted.

"Thanks again for this" he said quietly leaning against my kitchen sink crossing his arms as he watched me make the tea.

"Honestly Andy its fine. I don't mind at all...."

"Y/N...?"

"Yeah?" i turned to face him and he held his hand out towards me, i didn't even think about it, my hand automatically reached for his and i let him pull me towards him until there was no gap between us. His arms tightened around me holding me close.

"Andy...." i started to say leaning back to get a look at him but i was cut off when he closed the gap between us again and kissed me. This kiss was different to the others we shared and nearly took my breath away, i had to push him back a little to catch my breath.

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this right now...." i gasped trying to clear my head.

"Why not? I need you.... i was thinking we could pick up where we left off this morning" he said with sexy as hell grin.

"I just.... i don't think its a good idea...."

"Is this because of whats going on with Jake? You don't want me anymore?" He took a step back looking down on me like i had physically hurt him.

"What...?! No! It has nothing to do with that! You know i'm on your side!"

"So what is it? Whats changed...."

"Its just, your family needs you and your here with me.... i feel guilty"

"Well don't. I cant do anything for Jake until tomorrow anyway and Laurie and I barely speak on a good day"

"And your not just here because your lonely?"

"No! Im here because for the few minutes/hours i'm with you.... you make everything seem okay.... i cant stop thinking about you"

"And i'm not just a distraction?..... i've done the whole casual thing and that doesn't work for me...."

"I don't want this to be a casual thing. I don't want to have to share you with the likes of Frank" he pulled me close again "i'm too possessive to share you. I want to know that your mine and only mine" his hands moved down and untied the knot on my dressing gown before slowly pushing it open "look at you...." he mumbled bitting at his bottom lip as his eyes took in my half naked body "your not wearing much sweetheart"

"I wasn't expecting company..."'i replied breathlessly and he pushed the dressing gown all the way off until it pooled around my feet.

"Please tell me you still want this.....that you still want me..." he whispered as he pressed kisses under my ear, his hands running under my tank top caressing my back.

"I want you" i nodded quickly as i got lost in his touch. That was apparently all he needed to hear, Andy picked me up like i weighed nothing and carried me through to the bedroom.

I was woken up by kisses being placed over my collarbones and up my neck before he reached my mouth.

"Mmm i could get used to that kinda wake up" i smirked as i stretched and tried to open one eye at least! It was then i noticed Andy was sat beside me fully dressed.

"Your leaving already?....."

"I don't want to believe me! I would be more than happy to just stay in bed with you..... but i have to get home and get ready for Jacob's arraignment"

"Okay" i gave him a smile as i run my fingers over his bearded jaw "call me later?"

"Of course. Im gonna tell Laurie about us.... i don't want to hide this from her"

"Is now really the time?..."

"It'll be fine" he leaned down and kissed me "go back to sleep"

"Okay, hope everything goes okay with Jake"

"Thank you" Andy smiled, quickly kissed me again and then covered me with the blanket that i must have kicked off in the night "i'll call you when i get home from the courthouse" he said as he headed to the door, he gave me one last look then he was gone.

All the news channels were covering the Ben Rifkin murder. I sat watching as Andy and Laurie walked into the courthouse behind an older woman who must be Jacobs lawyer. The reporters swarming around them shouting questions and hoping for some kind of comment from them, but they both just carried on walking into the courthouse their faces void of any emotion. I decided i didn't want to watch anymore and headed to the kitchen to make some breakfast and a cup of coffee.

A couple hours later Andy was calling me as promised.

"Hey" i answered "how'd it go?"

"Horrible.... but his home. Pretrial is set for August 21st"

"Is Jacob okay?"

"His tired, his sleeping at the moment"

"Im guessing he didn't sleep much last night, poor kid" i shook my head at the thought of him in a cell all night.

"I told Laurie about us" he suddenly blurted out "we've got reporters camped outside the house and following us everywhere, i didn't want her to find out through them"

"Okay, how'd she take it?"

"She was fine with it, she actually asked when she was gonna meet you"

"Oh..... i don't know about that" i shook my head feeling my heart race.

"Y/N its fine, like i said its been over between us for a while now. We're like best friends.... please?"

"Andy....."

"There's something i need to talk to you about as well"

"Fine. You coming to me or am i coming to you?"

"Could you come here.... i don't want to leave Jacob and Laurie alone with the reporters camped outside"

"Okay. Do you guys need anything? I could stop by the store on my way" i asked biting my at my nail nervously.

"That would be great actually"

"Okay text me what you need, im just gonna go get dressed and then i'll head out"

"Okay sweetheart, thank you".

After ending the call with Andy i went upstairs to get ready. I was already a nervous wreck at the thought of meeting Laurie but part of me knew i needed to do it, just so that i could put my mind at rest that she really was okay with me and Andy.... that i wasn't being a 'home wrecker'.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @ms-betsy-fangirl @supernaturalwintersoldier

#chris evans #andy barber #reader insert #andy barber x reader #chris evans x reader #rose coloured glasses #defending jacob #defending jacob spoilers

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leviathiane · 4 years

Note

SHOW US YOUR WROR RAW UNPROCESSED WHOLE GRAIN ORGANIC NOTES

this is going to be a long-ass post i am so sorry to Everyone! i take a lot of notes.

So, as You specifically know (as well as all of my lovely Soggers) I take a LOT of notes. Obsessively. I write fucking everything bc i have very little memory and very much paranoia. This results in literal Piles of notes. Raw planning, on paper, on my phone– doodles of scenes im brainstorming, bulletpoints, entire SCRIPTS– it’s all there but scattered (I’ve got scenes planned in the margins of my goddamn anthropology notes and deciphering it was a NIGHTMARE)

I won’t even upload all the photos of my writing notebook, because itd be like 50 pages of illegible nonesense. but heres a couple of planning phase pages. (may be hard to read, I dropped this notebook both into some tidepools, into a creek on campus, and accidentally leaked my waterbottle onto it in my backpack :/)

if you can’t tell already, yes they all look exactly like this. Some are even more illegible, because I wrote them with the notebook half under my actual class notes. Because i wrote most of them in class. During lectures. And pretending very badly that i was not doing exactly that. (pay attention in class please i got away with this bc i was filling up elective units)

I’m also flat out MISSING a large portion of my notes bc some of it? isnt even in the damn notebook. its on a sheet of binder paper, or on the empty back of an assignment. I’ve now lost most of those notes, but the ones i do still have are just as (even more, actually) indecipherable chicken scratch:

Wow, how clean and tidy and easy to follow! i am in hell.

and this doesnt mention the PAGES and PAGES of outlines that are on my laptop, and the pages of outlined scenes that are on the notes app of my phone. if i put them all, you would have entire chapter spoilers up to the very end of the story so i cant post a lot of them– and also theres just a goddamn lot of them. currently i have 16 pages of outlining. There are no spacing breaks. It is a solid 16 page block of text. Looking at it gives me a migraine.

some assorted notes which i have dredged up from the deleted parts of the main draft google doc go all the way back to when i started Wror in June and they are Barely more readable than my handwriting on sheer account of: articulation is not my strength. These include:

“Ch 8 plan: sabo gets trained specially, awakens his armament haki, beats ace in a bunch of spars and proves himself to be anything but vulnerable. The boys are like “we fucking recognize that technique ryu taught you before us!!” and goad ryu into finally starting them both on basic haki training, just to awaken it, since sabo already has. Also this is the chapter that ace finally confronts ryu for his devil fruit after ryu confirms that some devil fruit users can’t be hurt without haki and ace immediately catches onto that and tries to slam his pipe through ryus head. It doesn’t work, ryu catches the weapon with a haki covered hand, to avoid turning to flame with hit and ace just gets frustrated and accuses ryu of hiding his devil fruit, because he remembers what he saw in grey terminal and that now that he has seen haki he can distinguish it from what he saw and he’s sure no one could do what ryu did. He calls ryu a hypocrite for coddling them even after telling them to stop coddling sabo and ryu has to sit them down and explain that yes he does have powers and he has been hdiing it and explains his reasoning. However instead of understanding th eboys just get fired up and say they don’t wnt to be scared of fire, especially not when it means ryu isn’t taking them seriously in a spar. Ryu finally agrees to start them on desensitization training for fire trauma. Fire desensitization training happens on the beach, so that they have water nearby in case things get out of hand. At some point ace gives ryu a considering look and is just like “if you have a devil fruit that means you can’t swim either right?” and ryu is basically just like “lmao yeah” and then ace immediately attempts to drown him. Lots of murder attempts in ace’s department toget his older brother to be less of an idiot with little success lol(extra: ace tried to attack ryu earlier both to confirm that ryu has a devil fruit that would force him to use haki to hide it, and because he now knows that he CAN’T hurt ryu without haki and as thus can’t beat him and make him admit he’s awake without being good at haki.)” [chapter 8]

“Small sabo lost his hat and goggles in the incident and while he doesn’t remember having them future sabo notices he looks uncomfortable and keeps touching his hair and head. Ace yells at him for it thinking he bandaging are bothering him and that he can’t touch them but little sabo just comments that something about it feels wrong. Luffy blurts our that he had a hat, like luffy does, But he doesn’t now ace begrudgingly mentions that they can’t get a new one in town. Future sabo doesn’t even hesitate and just plops his own hat onto his younger selves head. It clearly too big for him, and almost falls over his eyes but he grins up at future sabo and is like “wow!! Thank you! I’ll take care of it till I have one of my own” and creates a paradox like Luffys own hat. The footsteps younger sabo has yet to fill. This HAS to happen AFTER the talk where they explain that future and past sabo are both the same person, to give little sabo that pressure.” [chapter 9]

“(Right after this older sabo takes them down to the ocean so that they can play a little and desensitize themselves and immediately fucks himself over when he goes weak in the water bc he somehow fucking forgot his own devil fruit again and now even younger sabo is on his case about not letting him near the fucking ocean that little goddamn HYPOCRITE—) )” [for chapter 9]

“Ch 9 plan: they finally leave dawn island. Starts with the boys getting a haircut after training and luffy mentions how long it’s been since they’ve last needed a haircut, giving sabo and ace time to point out that it’s been 2 months now since ryu joined them, and that sabo was completely healed by now. The boys are now aware of the basics of haki, and while luffy hasnt awakened either yet ace and sabo both have a little bit of weak armament haki. (sabo won’t awaken observational haki until he gets his memories back) ryu tries to sneak off into the city to steal a boat but his brothers refuse to leave him behind and keep sneaking out after him, not wanting him to go alone and saying that since he’s been training them they’re clearly stronger and he needs to let them do this. Ryu eventually just lets it go because why the fuck not it’s a dream and they make him feel better. They get the boat out on open ocean and finally fucking sail out, cheering loudly, ryu struggling to make them all calm down but also not really trying. He’s happy as shit, and they’re all so excited and happy and sabo dips a hand into the waves and then smiles so fucking wide and tackles ryu so violently they both nearly tip into the water and it’s just very very good. “ [also for ch 9]

** I flat out dont Have any outlining from before chapter 6, because i only started actually outling chapters after that. i tend to just sit down and Write up until i hit a plot point or writers block and then am forced to actually think it through and plan rather than letting it come naturally. thats also why the quality and editing is better in later chapters despite everything being written within the same time frame.

besides entire chapter outlines, there are the scene specific phone notes like:

“(ADDED) Right after they leave dawn, when sabo is sure they’ve gotten enough of a head start, he calls Garp. He doesn’t say who he is, but that all of the boys are safe and happy with him and has them all talk into the phone to assure him that they’re fine. Garp is honestly just pissed off he doesn’t know who’s calling and when he asks sabo just laughs and says a disobedient brat before hanging up. “

“(ADDED) TO EXPAND ON CH 3: sabo gets offered the chance to go with dragon, and he hesitates on the offer to go through with his previous life with the family he’s made in the revolutionary again. He almost agrees, because the bought of losing them in this lifetime is near excruciating but reminds himself swiftly that it’s no place for his brothers and not what they’d really want, and he wants selfishly to be with them as long as he Can until he “inevitably” wakes up. The boys are visibly relieved by this, especially ace. (Sabo gets asked who he is by dragon, who wants to know more about the stranger with his son, but dragon has always been quicker to make connections no one guessed and he just smiled knowingly at sabo and tells him he’s sure the other will have no trouble finding them if he’s in need. Sabo in turn warns him to keep Kuma close, and to look for a slave girl named koala.)”

I have…. many of these. I have Many of Everything.

finally, i have scene doodles. if i hit a bad writers block it usually helps me to sketch scenes or the character designs to regain my grip on what the hell is happening in the plot– Breach of Intention has character design sketches, pakcbond has MANY scene sketches, even some of my nsfw has some sketches. my wror skecthes arent Good of course, I am an art teacher for children and that means i am more often explaining the color wheel and brush techniques over drawing perfect human replicas– and i just dont really make a lot of fanart? ive never drawn sabo before but i sure have a bunch now. i wont include close ups because they genuinely suck but heres an example pic

So… yeah thats about everything. this is a VERY long post and yet i only included like maybe ¼ or 1/5 of all the notes i have dbskhjgfkjadns lmk if anyone wants more (or notes for my Other stories, which contain NO WHERE the same absurd amount of shit that wror does.)

#depths' ask #response #idk what to even tag this honestly?? this post is such a mess abhdsjfgdkjn #thanks mido love u dear 💕🎉 im gonna want some damn notes on second chances heads up #wror #wror stockpile #touchmycoat #i started this response at goddamn 3:52am and its now 4:40am #it took me. almost an HOUR #oh my god

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the-fiction-witch · 6 years

Text

The Deputy’s Dancer

TV SHOW: GODLESS COUPLE: WHITEY X READER RATING: SMUTTY + BURLESQUE

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

BEFORE ‘THE ACCIDENT’: WHITEY’S POV:

I sat at home reading my little book as my dad came out his room sorting his clothes “I’m meeting Jimmy down the Club, Don’t wait up whitey” he tells me

“sure” I sigh as he went off out into La Belle so I sigh waiting a little while before getting up and grabbing my jacket and sneaking out the back of the house and sneaking around in the dark ducking away from anyone who could see me following the familiar Burlesque music constantly playing from the club and sneaking around the back of the club though a little UN maned door to the side, What! they would never let me in the front I’m supposedly not allowed in, okay I may have got drunk once…and broke a table It was one time but that means they wont let me in anymore, plus I dont want my dad knowing I come in here so I keep close to the door hiding myself behind a curtain for the most part as girls walked the stage showing off most of what they had, many of these girls work the whore house too they dance in here then get fucked in the whore house later I checked my watch making sure I got the time right and just as I did the music changed and the girls left and I instantly got excited Y/n was coming on, I have had a crush on her for as long as I could remember her mother owns the club she doesn’t work the whore house like most of the other dancers, she just dances and sings, and she bloody good at it she’s the reason I sneak in, I just want to see her dance, hear her sweet voice, many other guys all wanted her she was in my opinion anyway the best looking girl here by far as the curtains opened and there she sat backwards on a chair in a beautiful Light Yellow dress her hair tied up in beautiful curls the room fell silence except a couple little Whoo’s from the back at the bar as she began to sing her voice like a angel slow and sweet glaceing to many in the crowd as she sang her sweet song when suddenly the music went faster and she flipped the chair back the dress also getting thrown across the stage leaving her in little more then a red corset as many other girls joined her dancing like crazy many guys going crazy over her as she sang her song it was still sexy but classy not like the other girls not slutty like the other girls more classy and sexy enough to get ya going and enough to drive ya wild well…Me anyway and she smirks singing her song her eyes catching mine and she smiled winking at me before continuing her dance until it was over and many stood applauding her so I did as loud as I could cheering for her as she got her dress and ran off so I sighed as the normal girls returned so I lean against the wall as the music changed back till I felt a little tap on my shoulder

“Hello whitey” Y/n smiles

“Hello” I laugh

“Mind walking me home?” she asks

“Course not” I smile and she giggles going off the little door so I quickly fix myself Up a little better and follow her out into the dark streets of La Belle now empty I felt a little nervous with her till she laughed at me taking my hand so I had hold of her properly “So come on tell…how’s deputy work?” she smiles

“It’s not much to do, just locking up drunk guys and stuff” I blush

“aww cute” she smiles “Oh I wanted to ask you, could ya ask the sheriff to keep a better eye on the club next week, Next week the Supply outfit comes into town and frankly they always get a little rowdy with the girls, it likely there constant ferry work makes them very egaer for the drink and the ladies and ya know how that makes them” she explains but I dont say anything “What?” she laughs lightly hitting my arm playfully

“I forget how smart you are sometimes” I laugh

“Yeah…got to be in my line of work whitey” she smiles

“You are surprisingly smart y/n” I laugh

“Yeah you’re just used to seeing me shaking my booty and titties about” she laugh intentionally shaking herself a little

“Y/n…I’m not like that” I laugh

“I know whitey, you always come to see me” she blushes

“But yeah…I’ll have a chat with him tomorrow” I smile

“Thanks” she smiles as we got to her door “Thank you for walking me home whitey” she smiles

“Your welcome, don’t want ya walking the dark street’s all by yourself” I tell her

“Will I see you tomorrow night?” she asks

“Maybe…depends if I can sneak away from my dad or not” I laugh

“It would be nice to see you, I have a full set tomorrow night” she smiles slyly wrapping her arms around my neck

“I’ll be there” I tell her “I’ll sneak away” I tell her

“Ya know …I could have a sneaky word with Alex on the stage door…get ya backstage if ya like” she smirks “Your dad wouldn’t see ya, and you could watch all ya like” she smiles

“That would be nice” I tell her

“Good, I’ll have a word with him tomorrow, He’ll let ya in” she smiles “well night whitey” she smiles

“Night y/n” I smile as she backs away opening her door “see ya tomorrow night” I blush

“see ya tomorrow” she smiles grabbing my jumper and kissing me I was in shock for a moment but only about a millisecond passed before I was kissing her back but she pulled away slyly waving as she shut her door

“YES!” I say more to myself before happily going home in a happy little daze from that…

I manganed to sneak out againas my dad went off to visit the hotel so I snuch around the town and to the back door of the club knocking on it a couple times and a huge man stood there looking at me

“What do you want Kid?” he asked me

“Uhh I’m here to see Y/n” I tell him a bit nervous just as I heard Y/n from inside

“Alex…Is that whitey?” she asks

“Yes Miss” He shruged

“Oh let him in will you” she smiles so he moved letting me inside, the place was huge many girls all stood in hardly anything getting ready to go on dresses thrown across huge rails of clothes and corset prop buckets over flowing with fake guns and feather dusters and all sorts of little things the music from the other side of the stage the sounds of people watching just a murmurer under the nose of girls shouting to other’s none of them even paying attention to me most sat by mirrors doing there make up till I turned looking around more and arms hugged me tightly “I missed you” Y/n smiled

“I missed ya too” I smile

“come on I wanna show you something” she giggles grabbing my hand and dragging me further in and to a little room pulling me inside with her it was a small room with a fancy desk and chair with a huge mirror a huge clothing rail and a changing screen at one side she smirked locking the door behind us “Quiet…you’re not meant to be in here” she giggles sitting on her chair and starting to do her make up so I went and lent on her desk looking at her face though the mirror as she worked “So..what you been up to today whitey?” she asks

“Not much, filing actually, sheriff had me sorting all the paperwork in the office, thats all” I smile

“aww busy boy” she giggles getting up grabbing a dress underwear and a corset from her rail and going behind her screen

“What about you?” i ask her

“Oh just washing and sorting, Issue with being the owners daughter you gotta dance and clean up” she giggles behind the screen I could see her outline though the candle light on the other side as she stripped naked “somthing up?” she asks

“Nothing” I answer quickly as I watched her silhouette as she sorted herself slowly dressing

“You where being kinda quiet” she laughs as she got on her dress and sticks her head out from the screen “You sure something not up?” she asks and I nod

“TWO MINUETS Y/N!” a voice yells from the dor

“I KNOW I KNOW DON’T GET YOUR BLOODY KNICKERS IN A TWIST I’M COMING” she yells back as she comes out from the screen “Whitey can you just do it up for me” she asks so I nod as she came to me holding up her hair so I did her dress up for her even if its not held on with much “Thank you” she smiles “Do I get a lucky kiss?” she asks’

“of course you do darlin’“ I laugh giving her cheek a little kiss

“Really, your bloody stingy with kisses tonight” she laughs grabbing my shirt and kissing my lips deeply I of course kiss her back and try to pull her close till she pulls away ”we’ll continue this when I get back” she smirks going and unlocking the door grabbing my hand and dragging me out with her she went on with her girls so I staid close to the wall so know one out there would see me as the dance began she looked so beautiful it was mesmerizing watching her this close even second she danced was like heaven till it was all over it had been going on so long now she ran into my arms so I gave her a little cuddle

“You where Brilliant darlin’“ I tell her

“Thank you whitey” she giggles giving me a tiny kiss

“look Y/n…I want to stay believe me but I have to get back before y dad noticing i’m gone” I tell her

“Okay…you’ll come visit tomorrow wont you?” she asks sadly

“of course I will” I smile “Providing you can get me in again” I laugh

“Of course I will whitey” she giggles giving me a long sweet kiss and I pulled her close kissing back before giving her nose a little kiss and going off home I got in the back door and sat on my bed picking up my book and not even a minuet later

“Oh hey whitey, you still up?” My dad asked as he came though the door

“Yeah, still up” I smirk

TIME SKIP:

“Im off to the uhh…bar again tonight whitey, you gonna be okay again all by yourself?” he asked

“Yeah i’ll be fine” I answer

“See you later then” he shrugged going off out so I waited a minuet or two before getting up and sneaking out the back door and going across town to the club and in though the stage door I have been doing this every night now for almost three weeks

“Hey whitey” Alice yells from her table

“Hey Alice” I laugh

“Hey whitey you seen my yellow bra?” Mimi yells

“Not since last night Mimi” I tell her

“Whitey! where’s my Gin?” Helena yells

“I just got here, I’ll do you girls a run in a bit” I tell them before sneaking into y/n’s little room

“Whitey” she giggles hugging me tightly “I Missed you” she giggles

“Aww I missed ya too” I tell her giving her head a little kiss “come on your on in a sec arnt you?” I ask her

“In five minuets” she smirks

“Ohh okay” I smirk leaning on her desk and she leans against me as we deeply and passionately kiss my hands on the small of her back and her’s exploring up and down my chest she kept trying to take my shirt off but I kept stopping her giving her arse a squeeze as a punishment every time she tried which made her giggle biting on my lip as I groped her arse and our kiss got deeper, we where stood feeling each other up and kissing for what felt like hours till

Knock Knock Knock!

“Hey Y/n Leave him alone” a girl laughs on the other side making us both laugh

“go on, I got to go do a bar run anyway” I laugh

“fine” she sighs “Lucky kiss?” she asks so I give her a little kiss before she runs off to the stage so I got the little list the girls did with everything they want from the bar and go down a little secret passage way down the side from the stage door between the walls and the mirrors up to the bar

“Hey” I smile to the bar man giving him the list and he stats work on it just as the music changed and the girls took the stage I watched Y/n as she danced till saw it My fucking dad is here so I quickly move so there is no way he could see me

“That it whitey?” the bar man asked

“yeah, that and Y/n’s usual too” I tell him so he quickly got her’s a large bottle of wine she drinks one a night when she’s working but putting two glasses with it and winking at me so I took the drinks each girl grabbing there own so I got the wine and the two glasses going back to y/n’s room and she stood leaning over her mirror doing her make up only in her underwear “Heellllooo” He smirk

“Oh Hi Whitey” she giggles taking the wine from me and doing herself and drink and another glass of wine and handing it to me after a little while we had drunk almost all the bottle and we sat giggling and kissing like crazy even going a lot further then our usual second base touching every inch we could on each other ignoring calls from others outside the locked door having to keep our moans and groans as quiet as possible “Hummm Whitey shouldn’t you be getting home?” she giggles as I kiss her neck

“I dont care” I tell her between kisses

“Whitey go on..tomorrow” she giggles giving me a little kiss

“Fine” I sigh getting up and almost falling over

“Whoa” she giggles helping me stand up and walking me out the stage door giving me millions of little kisses her lipstick all over me before she went in so I wondered off though the streets with the empty wine bottle in my hand going though the door to the house where my dad sat reading his book

“where the hell have you been whitey?” He asked very angry at me

“I have been laying in the arms of a beautiful woman” I smirk

“are you drunk?” he asked

“a little bit” I laugh

“Where have to been?” he asked

“The club” I answer

“Really? because I was there all night and I didn’t see you?” he says

“I was backstage..” I smirk

“Really? who’s lipstick have you got all over ya whitey?” he asked

“Y/n’s” I smirk

“Who?” he asked

“Y/n Y/L/N” I smile

“the singer at the club?” he asked

“Yeah…she let me in the stage door at the back and…we had a few drinks and a bit of a snuggle” i smirk having some more wine from the bottle

“did you two….well?” he asked

“did we what?” I ask

“Did ya fuck her whitey?” he asked

“Uhhh…no, did alot of other stuff though” I smirk

“Like?” he asked

“Uhh…well, lets just say there is another part of me with her lipstick on it” I smirk collapsing on my bed

knock knock knock

came from the door so I dad got it and it was y/n dress properly now

“Hello, Whitey left this at the club” she smiles handing my dad somthing I didnt see what

“Darlin’ where’s my kissy” I ask her

“alright” she giggles coming in and giving me a little kiss before she tucked me into bed “Sleep tight whitey” she laughs so I gave her another kiss before drfiting off to sleep

TIMESKIP AFTER ‘THE ACCIDENT’:

I sat in my chair almost falling asleep till a little knock came from the door so I sat up barely awake “It’s Uhh open” I stutter

“Hello” Y/n smiles stood in her cute little white and brown dress with her little basket

“Hello” I blush as she came over

“Whitey” she laughs “so long and you still blush when you see me” she laughs sitting on the corner of my desk

“I always’s do…cause its funny to see you normally, cause I just remember seeing ya in hardly anything” I smirk giving her a little kiss

“True” she smiles as the office door opened again

“Oh Hiya marshal” I tell him

“where the hell is Bill Mcnue?” he asked

“He went to check on his children” I tell him

“Alright…I’ll wait, Whitey isn’t it?” he asked a bit unsure and I just nod as his attention turned to y/n

“Hello marshal” she smiles

“Oh hello Miss Y/n, been a while since I saw you” he smiles kissing her hand “My god darlin’ the way you used to dance, you could drive a man crazy….ya haven’t changed a bit” he laughed

“Thank you” she smiles

“its a nice thing to see dancer’s getting on so well after the accident here, why ya here?” he asks

“just visiting Whitey” she smiles putting her hand though my hair “well I best be off” she smiles hopping off the desk with her basket “It was nice seeing you again marshal” she smiles “see ya later whitey” she smirks giving me a little kiss but I held her arm so she couldn’t more away for a moment till she pulls back pushing me away from her as she ran off back to her house and the marshal watched every inch of her as she walked away

“That girl dance anymore?” he asked

“Privet shows only” I smirk

“Ohh…how much?” he asked

“More than you could afford” I smirk

“Ohhh I see…you and her?” he smirked sitting on the sheriffs desk on the other side of the room and I nod “How did you ever get such a pretty stripper?” he laughed

“she’s not a stripper!” I tell him “she’s a dancer, and a singer” I tell him just as Bill got back

“Taking about your Girlfriend again whitey?” he asked

“Yeah” I laugh

“Well go on get home to her then” he laughs so I happily got my jacket and ran off home where y/n stood doing some cooking

“Oh hiya whitey, Bill let you run off home?” she laughs as I give her a cuddle and give her a few sweet little kisses “ohh what’s the matter honey?” she asks

“I missed you” I tell her

“awww Whitey, I missed you too” she smiles giving me a little kiss

“I love you” I whisper

“N’aww Whitey I love you too” she giggles “where did that come from?” I ask her

“I don’t know, I just want you to know” I tell her

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