#i wish i could just live in those happy careless moments sometimes but being intoxicated wont solve my problems i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

souvcniir · 3 years

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* bopping along to rude boy by rihanna is 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐍𝐀 ❝ 𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎 ❞ 𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓 , the twenty one year old cis woman thrown back to their hospitality management with some of her memories . voted most likely to star in their own reality tv show , rizo was known for being flamboyant & loquacious , go figures you'd always find them giving drunk pep talks in the girls bathroom , but grew up to be punctual & hard headed.

hi .. how ya doing ? it’s me ... again . gi back again with my second muse who is just ... have you seen her ? stunning . beautiful . the mother i never had , the sister everybody would want , and the friend everybody deserves . ASDFGHJ . let me stop . down below is a little about my baby doll and if you already liked my last post i’ll definitely be bothering you about plotting with this baby too !!

* 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

gold wings dangling in between collar bones , sun light parting cloudy skies , vowels dipped in honey , baths filled with rose petals , sketches under a cotton candy sunset .

* 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

full name. arizona scarlett gilbert . nickname(s). rizo , ari , zo , zona . preferred name. rizo and/or ari . past age. twenty one . present age. thirty one . date of birth. october eleventh . zodiac. libra . gender. cis woman . pronouns. she and her . sexuality. heterosexual . younger faceclaim. charlotte d’alessio . older faceclaim. alycia debnam carey .

* 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐒 .

( death , specifically cancer ).

in her first cry , she was gifted an echo . something said to be a miracle especially upon ears that had once suffered the news of a lost future of bearing children . that night , prayers of thank you’s were sent to the heavens , and mouths were stuff with love sculpted by two pairs of glimmering emerald hues .

granted fifteen years of sweetness and happiness that painted countenances . the two were split from the same soul . her sister was contagious and arizona was syrupy . never each other’s shadow , just each other’s biggest fan . the girls were great apart , but together they were unstoppable . but just like summer sunshine , rapid thunderstorms creep up on you without warning . their thunder fell into their ears as a disease too far along to promise hope . in the blink of an eye , cancer had disguised itself as her twin sister , the light that once sparkled in her eyes died out .

equivalent to a nightmare , when the sun forgets to rise and feet forgot how to move ; she was haunted by a ghost who had her face . swore she could hear her in the dead of the night , and sometimes even in broad daylight . grief left her clinging to bedsheets that still lingered of her sister’s memory , and soon her emerald hues became a reminder of a child lost . she no longer had her sister to hide behind , and her parent’s were no longer able to pretend they could look her in the eye .

reminded herself she was alive until tears hung in her eyes and screams left her mouth until voice was no longer recognizable . she might not be able to live life by her sister’s side , but she could live life for her sister . that night , her hands were drenched in cold glue from gluing herself back together . and after that , cloudy skies cleared and only the lingering smell of raindrops remained . she’d never get over it , but she would not become it .

* 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓 .

grief no longer visible in tawny features , she radiated a warmness that seemed to be nothing but intoxicating . clung to a desperation to escape a town filled with broken hearts and disappointment and took a big deep breath of a new beginning at rom valley university .

she was a face you spotted everywhere , on the sidelines with pom poms in her hands and in class whispering about how she had no idea what was going on . being involved was something she thrived on , and because of that she was known for being the social butterfly , the chatter bug , and the girl who always had a smile on her face .

not a dumb girl , but she happened to be one of those people who prioritized their social life instead of their grades . had to really apply herself for anything above a low b , but as we all say c’s get degree’s . and truthfully she was more worried enjoying life rather then having a break down over a calculus class .

had a bad habit of speaking without thinking , and feeling without processing . life is too short so she refuses to be someone who keeps her emotions bottled up . instead wears them in facial expressions and words of anger or joy or sadness . if you did something wrong , she’ll tell you . if she’s feeling a type of way , you’ll know . but because of this she is very forward with showing those she cares about , she cares about them . her love language is pecks on the lips and i love you’s before she ends the call .

* 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 .

not as open as she used to be , but she still shines bright . learned to bite her tongue and control her careless ways . in some ways , she simply just matured , no longer that twenty year old something that can get away with screaming in the rain because she needed to get it off her chest .

thinks about her sister more then she did before , her mother says it’s because she’s experiencing firsts that she wishes her sister was there to see . she still refuses to show her bleeding wounds , instead bandages them up every night and whispers i miss you’s to the sky .

fell into the career of a wedding planner and has never been so in love with a job before , it’s everything she had ever hoped for . she gets to be creative , interact with people on the daily , and make other’s happy . though , it has made her a true romantic .

her relationship with her parents is special , something that formed as she got older and began to understand that yes she lost her other half , but they too lost a child . she’s grateful for her parents and is constantly reminding herself to give them some extra love . at the end of the day , they are all she has .

she lives in the city of new york in a beautiful apartment , and while it is such a different atmosphere then the small town she was raised in , she enjoys it . but her being her , she still needs to experience as much as she can and so you’ll her packing her bags every so often and living it up in a different country or a different city for a few weeks and of course dragging a few of her friends with her .

* 𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓 .

it feels like a case of deja vu , so familiar she has to stop and think about it for a little . swears she see’s pieces of her future in her dreams , and yet they feel so real it’s almost as if she’s already lived it . sometimes she feels like she’s going crazy , but most time she’s losing herself in the moment .

* 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒 .

she wears her sister’s ashes in a wing shaped necklace , and later on decided to get something permanent via tattoo . her tattoo is located on her inner arm and looks a little something like this .

she’s a travel bug , and has been to countless of places . she’s one of those people who has a journal tucked away with every single place she has ever wanted to visit and she will complete her list .

in college , she was one of those people who wrote the prettiest notes that you have ever seen , did she waste more time writing them then actually studying ? yes .

she started playing soccer in elementary school and actually studied at rvu on a scholarship . it was one of the first activities that arizona did outside of her sister and after her passing it because a way to get her mind off of her passing .

* 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 .

* again , these are simply just ideas to give us something to start with , i am open to anything that is not mentioned as well am completely and totally okay with switching things around and adding things to these ideas !!! i love plotting and bouncing ideas off of each other so don’t be afraid to stray !

LOOK , WE’RE IN TUNE , WE’RE IN SYNC . EYE TO EYE , DON’T NEED TO THINK ( PAST/PRESENT CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . labeled as the duo to be reckoned with , there’s love between these two that not even words could explain . a friendship that has last a decade , you can hear them constantly giggle how they’re soulmates . that’s just their bond . secrets , laughter , memories , communication without words , a lifetime of inside jokes , being attached at the hip . this is just a forever thing .

WE’RE BOTH DROWNING IN GASOLINE , BURNING OVER TIME . ( PAST CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . this friend is someone that arizona held close to her heart , when memories crept back up on her and that empty feeling in her heart escape bars she seemed to always find comfort in this person . and always promised them , that they could find comfort or at least a set of ears in her .

I KNOW YOU SAID LEAVE , BUT FUCK WHAT YOU SAID . CAUSE YOU’RE STEADY CRAWLING ON YOUR KNEES AGAIN , YOU NEED A FRIEND ( PAST CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . this was someone that brought the worse out in arizona . they are the whispers of careless actions in each other ears and blurry lines of what they are to each other . stolen kisses and screaming voices the consequence of that . but regardless of where they stand in one another’s life , they’re the prime example that not every bond should last .

SAME CREW , I AIN’T HANGING WITH NO NEW BITCH ( PAST/PRESENT CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . a group of friend who’s energy is contagious . in college they were the ones people watched from afar and earned for something just like it . they had their fair share of fallout’s , nights of blacking out and holding each other’s hair back , hungover brunches , embarrassing stories during each other’s weddings , but their bond is for life .

I MIGHT BREAK UP WITH YOU , JUST TO MAKE UP WITH YOU . AT THE END OF THE DAY , BOY , YOU KNOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO WAKE UP WITH YOU . ( PAST CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . the most serious relationship arizona had in college , and it was mixed with such high and low moments but regardless the two always found their way back to each other . for arizona , she was in love and they were all she wanted . no matter what .

MANY TIMES WE FELT IT , CAME CLOSE FOR A MINUTE . WRONG PLACE , WRONG TIME , YOU WERE ALMOST MINE . ( PAST CONNECTION ┋ OPEN ) . it always felt like more . lingering touches and avoiding the conversation , almost never given the right opportunity to say how they really felt and in return for years watched one another fall in and out of love with other people .

#death tw #again.intro #◟ ♡ ⋅ . mun . ﹛ 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐍𝐀 ﹜ : introduction .#again lmk if i missed any trigger warnings #i did not prof read so asdfg #n o clowning allowed

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irwintry · 5 years

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Birthday Baby

Warnings: swearing, mention of alcohol, mention of sickness

Author’s Note: by request lol

Word Count: 4.2k

Luke felt his heart beating heavy in his chest as he rounded the corner. Of course, you would be there. Out of all the people in the fucking world, you would be there. He didn’t care about how or why you were there because he couldn’t get over the fact that you were there.

He tried to avoid his problems with the nearest bottle of booze that would intoxicate his brain. Every time he made a break for it, he’d catch a glimpse of your shirt or your hair and he’d run away from it all. If he had wanted you there, he would have asked you himself. But, that was the problem – he hadn’t talked to you in a year.

Eight-year-old Luke wanted a pool party for his ninth birthday. He wanted all of his friends and classmates invited, including the ones he never had the confidence to talk to on the playground. Those were the cool kids, and he figured they’d jump at the chance of going to a pool party. Everyone was doing those nowadays.

His parents went all out for him. The cake was two-tiered, and the balloons and decorations were an assortment of blues and yellows. They had even purchased a new swimsuit for him. When the day came, Luke had received no RSVPs, but he tried not to let it bother him much as they arrived an hour early at the pool they reserved. He was most excited about the gift bags he made (with the help of his mother Liz) for his friends.

At 2:02 in the afternoon, he was straining his neck to look for people with gifts coming through the front entrance. The rest of the pool was crowded with strangers enjoying the nice warm day while Luke was stressing over a party he’d forget about a few years later. That would not be the case, unfortunately.

He spotted a fellow classmate after fifteen minutes. He had nearly started to cry when you joined him on a picnic bench, a big blue gift back in your left hand. Your swimsuit had flowers all over it, which Luke thought was kind of tacky. Sure, you were one of his classmates, but you were never one he cared to get to know. You were quiet, albeit nice.

Luke realized later that he should have invited more people and that he should have given them more of a heads up about the party. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop crying in front of you. After forty minutes of waiting, you had been the only guest to arrive. This crushed his parents, and it even made you sad as well. You jumped in the pool while he was busy throwing a minor tantrum, and after you pleaded with him to join you, he finally slid into the chlorinated water.

Maybe he liked being around you. Being around you made him happy, and even though he liked his other friends enough, none of them had set out to make his birthday party better like you had. He invited you over to his house the next weekend for a playdate. After that, playdates between the two of you were more common than those with his old friends.

Plus, you had gotten him LEGOs for his birthday, and Luke loved LEGOs.

He squeezed through the mass crowds of people in his best mate’s living room. The tequila shot running through his system could only burn through his surface level thoughts. He had gathered enough courage to find your face, but no amount of alcohol could save him from the guilt he felt when looking at you. He had bitten a hole through his red solo cup just thinking about you.

The watch on his wrist read half past midnight. Everyone was wide-eyed and alert as they drunkenly ground against friends and soon-to-be lovers. Luke, on the other hand, could not keep himself awake despite the bass bouncing in his chest. He wondered about you, what you liked, what you disliked, the people you liked and disliked... all of the above. No matter how many times he shut his eyes tight, he couldn’t erase the expression on your face the day he told you the truth. He couldn’t shake the feeling of his stomach rolling every time the silence grew too thick. He couldn’t imagine the emptiness you must have felt once you left and never came back.

That was why Luke was throwing up in the upstairs bathroom at one in the morning. He wasn’t nearly drunk enough to be getting sick, but your random appearance had made him this way. If he had been expecting you, he was confident his reaction would be the same. You made him nervous, and he absolutely hated it.

He challenged his stomach to make it through another hour. Though he wasn’t sure of his plan, he knew he couldn’t let you leave without him saying something. Luke let out a sigh as he backed away from the all-too-expensive toilet. He took the wad of toilet paper in his hand and rubbed it along his mouth before tossing it into the toilet before him. He wanted to believe you didn’t hate him. He wanted to know for sure that you were doing okay, but nausea returned every time he thought of you happy without him.

That part sucked most of all. He wanted you to be happy with or without him. Luke knew he was selfish. He hadn’t been most of his life, and you got to witness it develop firsthand.

He hardly had enough energy to stand back up. The silk shirt that clung to the hairs on his chest was drenched with vodka, soda, water, and sweat, but he couldn’t take it upon himself to peel it off of his clammy body. If things had been different one year prior, he wouldn’t be in this situation. You wouldn’t be in the living room of Ashton’s home, trying to celebrate the birthday of your former best friend while he was upstairs puking because he saw you.

None of this would have happened if Luke had decided that maintaining his friendship with you was more important than his greed.

“Whatever you did up here,” a voice boomed over the music reverberating through the tiles of the bathroom, “I hope you cleaned it up.”

Luke let out a muffled groan as he nuzzled his face into the arms situated on his knees. He felt so awful, he couldn’t even say a word.

“Mate, lemme in,” the person – Ashton – said again. “It’s just me.”

“’s open,” Luke mumbled in response.

A few seconds later, Ashton was closing the door behind him and kneeling to Luke’s level on the cool tiled flooring. Sometimes Luke wished that his friend had laminate flooring for moments like these. He found himself in sickly situations more often than he would like to admit.

“Y’okay, Luke?” Ashton asked while propping his back against the tub beside his friend.

Luke shook his head. He didn’t even want to look up.

“Look, we’re doing a few lame party games in the basement if ya wanna join,” offered Ash. “I’m placing bets on whether or not Jack passes out first. Wanna wager anything?”

Once again, Luke shook his head. “’m not feeling well.”

“Sorry ‘bout that, man,” Ashton replied, his tone calm and understanding. “But, hey, when you are feelin’ better, the basement is where the party will be.”

Luke managed a tight smile as his friend stood from his spot.

“See ya soon,” said Ashton as he rotated the doorknob.

“Who invited her?”

His hand fell. It took him a moment to take a breath and come up with an answer to the question. “I don’t know. If I did, I’d tell ya right away. Try to have fun, okay? You’ve both changed since then.”

Luke nodded, and after another few seconds said, “see you soon.”

“Feel better, man,” Ashton replied before closing the bathroom door behind him.

Luke sighed, the knotting in his stomach returning but only momentarily. He had to collect himself whether he wanted to or not. So, he brushed his hair off of his forehead, stood up way too quickly, shut the light off, and walked out to face the party meant for him all along.

On the eve of his fifteenth birthday, Luke had wandered to the park at a quarter to ten at night to meet you. His ankle was still swollen from having previously tripped over a sewer grate earlier that afternoon, but he was braving the pain just to see you. The pain in his ankle mattered little as compared to the pain settling in his chest. He couldn’t believe what he had done, and he had never been this scared to tell you anything.

His parents raised him to tell the truth whenever it mattered the most, and in this case, the truth made him seem like the weeniest best friend on the planet. He lost the bracelet you made him last spring – the one you worked two months on to get it to match yours perfectly. And now, he had to tell you that all of your hard work was gone forever.

“Accidents happen,” you told him after his word vomit ensued. Your feet were dangling off of the boulder beside the creek. This was the exact boulder the two of you always met at after the park was “closed”. One of these days, you were bound to get caught. “I’m bummed, but I can’t be mad.”

“Don’t say that,” he sputtered. “I was being careless, and you don’t deserve to have a friend who is careless. I should have made sure that– “

“Lukey,” you giggled, swinging your body around to face him. “You ass. I’m not mad.”

He frowned. “Since when did you swear?”

“Since my friends dared me,” you replied with a shrug.

Luke felt his stomach fold, but it didn’t last long before the blood rushed to his cheeks. What was he feeling? “Maggie and Jenny? Didn’t they hang out without you like, last weekend?”

You brought your knees to your chest at the sound of your best friend’s words. “They... it doesn’t matter. I like talking to them, and they like having me around.”

“Sometimes they like having you around.”

“Luke!”

He cowered back, realizing how all of this must have felt for you. What Luke never understood about you was the way you handled other relationships. Things appeared different when he looked at it from a larger perspective. The way you acted around others never amounted to the way you acted around him. Plus, he simply didn’t understand why you put up with people’s shit. He was right when he said that you deserved a friend who wasn’t careless.

The only sounds between the two of you now where the chirping of cicadas and crickets and the rushing of the water below you.

“You have a zit,” you muttered after a moment, your finger reaching up to poke his inflamed cheek. “Want me to pop it?”

“No,” Luke whined and swatted your hand away. “Disgusting freak.”

You laughed lightly. “I think I like someone,” you said to him, your hands deep in the pockets of your jacket. You had popped a Tic Tac in your mouth only a second ago.

Luke felt that feeling in his stomach again, only this time, his heart beat faster than usual. “Y-yeah? Who’s the unlucky dude?” Even though it was dark out, he could still see you roll your eyes.

“That guy Tyler from our gym class,” you responded hesitantly. “I played him in tennis the other day, and I think he was flirting with me.”

“You already think you like him?”

“Well, I think he might like me, too.”

Maybe Luke had digestive issues. He felt like he was about to get sick right then and there.

“You can’t be serious,” he stated with a frown. “Tyler? The guy who just dated Anna Parks, the junior?”

“Why are you acting like this?” You seemed to be in disbelief.

Luke didn’t understand your question, nor did he want to. He felt as though he was acting logistical with his questions. Little did he know, all you wanted was support. Little did you know, he was talking through distant feelings.

“You can do so much better, Y/N,” he said. He tried to slide up farther on the rock so he could be closer to you, and amid transition, his sandal began slipping from his foot. As fast as he could try to catch it, it fell off completely and plummeted into the water below. “My shoe!”

“I can do so much better?” You stood, balancing yourself up on the rock so you could tower over him. “What do you even know about me? He’s a nice guy, and he actually likes talking to me in school unlike you.”

“I just lost my fucking shoe!”

“Yeah, well, you deserve it. Happy fucking birthday,” you said and walked away.

Luke’s mind was a broken record. Every time he figured out a new thing to say to you, he repeated it over and over until he grew sick of it. Now, he was standing on the bottom step of Ashton’s basement, an ice pack to his head as he peered around the room. Nobody had noticed him just yet, something Luke wasn’t necessarily used to.

The group before him was playing a fucked-up version of drunk Jenga. He never imagined finding you first thing, your back against the coffee table as some dude he met a few years ago was doing body shots off of you. You were laughing, even when the whole ordeal was over. Suddenly, Luke was missing the sensation of the cool tile under his ass as you stood, your body facing his direction. When your eyes met, he panicked and threw up a peace sign. A fucking peace sign.

The frigid ice against his head was starting to hurt as you neared him. Your shirt was slung over your shoulder, so you clearly did not mind being this exposed around a bunch of strangers that Luke knew a little too well. Not only was he missing the cold tile, but he honestly preferred vomiting up his dinner to seeing you like this. He needed to find a distraction before his mind began to wander in an undesired direction.

“You have a zit,” you said with a smirk. “Want me to pop it?”

Luke shook his head. The running gag never got old, even after all of these years. However, the words were unsettling as of late, especially since he hadn’t heard them since June of last year.

Your smile fell after that, your eyes darting around his figure to take in every little thing he was offering tonight. The dark circles and cracked lips said enough.

“Someone told me about this great twenty-four diner just a few blocks away,” you started, taking your shirt from off of your shoulder so you could pull it over your head. You tucked it into your pants while you continued talking. “And, I’m kinda in the mood for waffles. My treat?”

Luke nodded slowly as he brought the ice pack down from his forehead. He looked down, whispering out a meek “okay” while nodding once more. “Just lemme brush my teeth.”

You raised your eyebrow but smiled again nevertheless. “Okay, freak.”

Luke had gotten used to being away from home for years, and you had gotten used to never seeing him. Somehow, the two of you managed to stay in contact. You’d occasionally visit him while he was on tour, and he’d come to visit you for a bit just for a slumber party of sorts. Before he left for good many years ago, he never imagined the pain of leaving you and his family. He always dreamed of a life like the one he was given, but missing people made it hard to enjoy the finer things.

Talk of his 21st came up faster than he realized. You planned to stay with him for a month by that point considering his band’s hiatus. He wanted to treat you to everything LA had to offer. You were his best friend, his roots, and he needed a little taste of home every once in a while. He needed a little taste of you.

Sometimes, he believed he needed more of you than he was aware of.

Luke had the issue of letting romantic relationships get out of hand. He struggled to maintain them while keeping a focused head, and most times, he let them go on a little too long. He compared his dates to you all too often, and he never quite grasped the reason why.

On one late June evening, he had gotten too drunk with you. He was acting as though the two of you had just met in some slimy bar with beer-gut drunks that wore beards down to their belly buttons. His lips were all over your exposed shoulders, and he kept fumbling with the straps on your tank top until you pushed him away. While he couldn’t stop apologizing, he couldn’t get away from you either. He still remembered how you smelled after all of those months without you. He had never wanted someone as badly as he had wanted you.

After that, the air between the two of you was thick. The conversations shared resembled small talk more than anything and thinking about that made Luke queasy. He needed a wakeup call similar to this; boundaries were something he hardly had to worry about when it came to his life. He had been certain that the two of you wouldn’t have any, but sitting on the kitchen stool next to you in silence on a Monday morning, he was proved wrong.

The two of you used to hold hands whenever something was wrong. Any deep conversation at two am on a school night called for it. You would lie next to each other in bed and talk about anything that came to mind. Now, it was more talk about him and less of you. He hardly knew a thing about your career, and the more time passed, the more he strayed from asking.

Luke hadn’t meant to deliver any confessions. In all actuality, he hadn’t been aware that he had confessions. The energy had shifted dramatically since your first day with him in LA, and he couldn’t bear it any longer. All of this was his fault.

But, he would never acknowledge that aloud. Not in front of anyone, especially you.

He had never been selfish until these past few years, so when he hammered you with every single feeling in his soul, he had no idea you would react the way you did. Your anger was justified by this point. The drunken thoughts being spewed back and forth only fueled the flame that burned in your guts. The tears falling down his cheeks weren’t because he was sad. He wanted you to feel what he was feeling, but he had already ruined everything good about the relationship the two of you had.

The two of you unloaded every single emotion on each other that night. Any thought one of you had about the other was told through spiteful words that shattered the heart like glass. He wanted to take it all back at the time, but he didn’t have the strength to make you feel better. He only knew what he felt, and he was frustrated you couldn’t see his point of view.

Your friendship had never been as tricky as it had been that night. Luke wanted more than a friendship, and from his understanding, you no longer felt wanted by him in the first place.

The crying had subsided, and all that was left between the two of you was that familiar tense feeling in the air. Your lip trembled, and Luke tried to resist reaching out to touch it. He had never imagined his feelings this heightened before.

“I’m going,” you whispered.

“Okay.”

“Leaving you.”

“Okay.”

“Leaving LA.”

“Fucking okay,” Luke spat, but he wasn’t okay. He didn’t know how to beg you to stay.

Your eyes widened at his sudden volume. All you could do in return was nod as you bumped his shoulder to pass him. He winced, and he almost considered reaching out for your arm to stop you. He wished he could change a million things about the night he told you he loved you, but you left before his brain could catch up with his heart.

“I haven’t had a waffle like this since I went home last winter,” you said, pure lust in your eyes as you gazed down at the syrup-drenched golden delight.

Luke didn’t order anything. He simply couldn’t. He couldn’t fathom the idea of food after that hour of getting sick because your face haunted his body. And, he couldn’t believe you were sitting here with him after that whole year of silence. You were merely strangers now.

“Remember when I had a waffle party when I was like, thirteen, and– “

“Can I pay you back for the Uber?”

You looked up from cutting your waffle. “What?”

“Can I pay you back for the Uber?” Luke asked again, his tone as deadpan as it had been a second ago. He felt dizzy and incapable of speaking to you as if nothing had happened.

Slowly, you took a bite of the syrup-soaked piece, nearly moaning at the taste. You nodded at him a moment later.

Luke appreciated the fact that you were trying to avoid awkwardness. You wanted to continue things the way they had been, but it was impossible for him. His mind hadn’t changed, yet all he could think about was your reaction that night.

“I was thinking since I’m in LA for the weekend, that we should– “

“Why are you in LA?” he questioned.

“When will you stop interrupting me?” you mocked in return. You waited patiently for his expression to change and continued speaking when it didn’t. “For your birthday, of course.”

Luke shook his head. “Bullshit.”

“What do you want me to say?” You placed your silverware down onto the scratched plate before you.

“Donno.” He shrugged. “We haven’t spoken in a fucking year. Excuse me for being cynical.”

“Okay, and whose fault is that?”

Luke frowned. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen.

You sighed. “I just wanted to see you. Is that a crime? I missed my best friend. Thirteen years is a long time to be friends.”

“Twelve.”

“Thirteen.”

“We stopped talking last year,” he said. “Twelve.”

You rolled your eyes and proceeded to take another bite of your waffle. “Whatever. I wanted to see you. I don’t care about last year.”

Luke tensed, his jaw clenching as he fought back words.

“It doesn’t mean anything now.”

His hands balled into fists on his lap, and he had to shut his eyes and breathe through his nose to keep calm.

“Besides, I’m sure we’ve both forgotten most of what happened anyway, so I think– “

“You expect me to just forget that I told you I was head over heels in love with you?” he asked, a somewhat-devilish laugh coming out unannounced. “Babe, you’re fuckin’ kidding me.” Luke rapped his knuckles down onto the tabletop.

“I just– I just hoped we would be okay.”

Luke’s smile faltered, and soon, his gaze was falling back to his hands. “You have no idea,” he said breathily, “how much I want to be more than okay.”

You nodded. “I know.”

“I’ve been replaying that night in my head every single damn d– “

“You never asked how I felt.”

Luke scratched at his pants. “Huh?”

You pulled your wallet out, dropping a bunch of uncounted cash before escaping the confines of the booth. Luke stared at you, his eyes slightly wide as you pulled him up by his wrist. You led him to a dark corner outside of the diner, a place Luke knew you wouldn’t feel safe being in unless you felt safe with the person you were with.

“If you want to tell me nothing has changed,” you started, “now’s your chance. If you regret the things you said, now’s the time to fucking tell me. If you still have feelings for me, then you’ll just fucking kiss me.”

He repeated your words twice over in his head, making sure he heard every little thing correctly. Your hand was still tight on his wrist, but he wriggled out of your grip so he could wrap his arm around your waist. His pressed his lips onto yours roughly, taking no extra time to slip his tongue into your mouth so he could tell you how badly he’s wanted you after all of this time.

Your hands wound themselves into his hair, your fingers tugging at his roots so he could groan and whine against you. His chest heaved as he pulled away, and all thoughts about what happened within the past year were drowned out by the taste of your lips.

“You have a zit,” he mumbled, a lazy smirk playing on his own lips. “Want me to pop it?”

You smiled in return. “Freak.”

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