#i was originally not gonna post all the scenes from AO3 on Tumblr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

achaotichuman · 4 months

Note

Do you think you could write about dehlia in this context: https://www.tumblr.com/praetorqueenreyna/737196004108058624?source=share, hopefully featuring deadbeat at first mom feyre, horrified stepdad rhysand, tired of it all tamlin and a supportive lucien/eris.

This has been sitting, marinating in my drafts. But it is finally complete. I am fully aware I fucked up the timeline here, but I'm not rewriting all of this, so we're gonna pretend that fancy Fae tests can reveal a pregnancy at four weeks instead of eight like the post said.

And disclaimer before anyone calls for my head, for this fic I am also rewriting Ianthe's character, because she is too interesting for me to just write off as a sex offender and never think about again. Also, it is very interesting to see her as a genuinely morally grey person with good intentions. So, in this fic, she never SAs Lucien, but she does get a cool plot twist so stay tuned for that.

Basically, I have turned this into a rewrite of Acomaf and Acowar. A lot of the events were written from pure memory, and asking Tumblr, so forgive me if some scenes from the OG series were left out or written significantly differently. We mostly got Feyre's version of events anyway, so I'm not too worried.

This will be split into several chapters. Three being for the Mist and Fury rewrite, and then two for the Wings and Ruin rewrite. And if I have time, I'll do an Acofas rewrite. I'll be uploading all three of the Mist and Fury chapters today, and linking them in this post. You can also find it on SquidgeWorld here, and Ao3 here.

Anyway, here is the long-awaited fic, anon. And @r-biter, thank you for the original post, I hope I do it justice. Also @praetorqueenreyna who reblogged the original post.

Also, did I turn this into a Tamcien fic? Yes, of course I did.

A Field of Dahlias

“Are you alright with this?” He asked, it may have been the hundredth time he asked, Feyre gave him the same exasperated eyes she had given him all night long.

Everything pointed to her being more than alright with this. Him pressed into the sheets below her, their clothes forgotten on the floor, her eyes glazed with lust. The rush of new hormones in her head no doubt fuelled the arousal that was now pressed against his wet slit. She leaned down, teeth a touch sharper than normal. She kissed his neck, dragging her canines along his fluttering pulse like he would for her.

She ran her now larger hands down his slightly smaller than normal frame. Hands finding his breasts and squeezing relentlessly, pinching his nipples, her rough fingers, calloused from years of work from before she had been turned fae. Tamlin bit down on his lip, not wanting the whimper that pressed against his vocal cords to be released. A part of him still didn’t understand the switch in the power dynamic and begged to flip her over, to shift them both back to normal and continue this the way he knew well.

But he didn’t, he remained underneath Feyre. Her chest flatter, set a touch wider, her shoulders broader. Her hips, now more narrow, rocked forward ever so slightly, as if on their own accord, as if her body was begging to bury the length now resting between her legs into the tight warmth before her.

“I’m fine, more than fine, like I’ve said a hundred times already.” She added an eye roll to the last part, Tamlin countered it with his own.

“Fine, but if you want to stop at anytime-”

“Are you okay with this, Tam?” She asked, hands becoming more gentle, roaming his skin like she loved it, like she cared.

It was still new, the loving and the caring, the likes of which Tamlin hadn’t felt in years.

“I’m okay.” Tamlin said, forcing his voice to remain steady. He loosened a breath, then spread his thighs wider.

“Well?” He asked, adding a grin to his words, “Lets see how sloppy your form is, wicked creature.”

Feyre gave him her own wild grin, eyes filled with that lust and love. Something caring and devoted in her face, she leaned down and put her face into the crook of his neck, licking at the skin in a careful, deliberate manner.

“Let’s see how well you hold up, Faerie Lord.”

***

Tamlin shuffled a few papers on his desk. Briefly glancing over all of them before sorting them into piles and picking up the one closest to his left. With nimble fingers he paged them apart and began to read each complaint. A sigh escaping his throat.

He tried to ease the worry sitting low in his belly but it wouldn’t relent, as the pile of complaints grew higher, the headache pounding behind his eyes tightened.

After he was done reading the letters, he moved to open a drawer in his desk. Then the feeling of his stomach lurching overwhelmed his senses. Nausea made his legs shake, he retched, then quickly slapped his palm over his mouth before winnowing to the nearby bathroom.

He had all of about three seconds before he was bent over the toilet, vomiting until he was shaking so badly he could barely stand on his knees. He dry heaved for a minute before finally his body relented and he slumped back, panting heavily, beats of sweat gathering on his forehead.

“Gods dammit.” He cursed, forcing himself to his feet and quickly cleaning up.

As he rinsed out his mouth, a pain shot up his spine and the sickness returned with a festering wrath. Tamlin groaned, a low sound from the back of his throat, he gripped the sides of the sink.

***

It didn’t relent, the sickness came and went throughout the days. Tamlin thought he could handle it. Thought he could make it through the seemingly endless hours without anyone knowing something was amiss.

“Two of you will head for the south border and I will send another group towards-” Tamlin was cut off by bile rising quickly in his throat, burning him from the inside out. He couldn’t get another word out before he sprinted back inside. Leaving five very confused sentries outside.

He rushed past several servants, all of which stopped to stare in concern. Tamlin ignored all of them.

It was Alis that didn’t stare. Rather broke into a sprint after him. The Summer Faery found Tamlin practically doubled over while he emptied the contents of his stomach. Alis snapped in a gasp, then quickly ran over to pull back his hair, sticking to his face from sweat.

“Tam…” She murmured.

Tamlin could barely see, the world tipping from one side to the other.

“Why are you staring?” Alis shouted at somebody, or somebodies at the door. Tamlin had enough sense to look back over his shoulder. He saw several servants who were loitering at the door, wondering what exactly was happening.

“Leave this instant, go back to your duties.” She shouted, then quickly slammed the door, everyone scattered as quickly as possible.

Tamlin panted as he sat back on his heels, tilting his head to the ceiling, “Gods.”

“Tamlin, are you alright?” Alis asked, helping him onto his shaking feet. He wanted to shove away from her and insist he was fine, but he was still getting his bearings back and the world was too bright, and he had a headache.

She led him to the sink and coaxed him into washing up. Tamlin splashed his face with ice water, and rinsed out his mouth. Then he looked up to see the mirror.

Gods, he hadn’t realised how little sleep he had been getting until he saw the deep purple under his eyes. The gauntness in them, along with his too pale face, made him resemble something of a ghost.

“I…”

“Tam.” She murmured. Putting a hand to his forehead, the rough bark of her hands rubbing against the soft skin. She furrowed her eyebrows, “You don’t have a temperature.

“I’m fine, Alis.” He said.

She breathed in deeply, face carefully controlled, “You need to see a healer. I will call for one-”

She turned to leave, but Tamlin took hold of her wrist. The light shining from Faelights in the bathroom too bright, he was so tired.

“I don’t need a healer, Alis. It’s nothing.” He told her. Ignoring the image of himself in the mirror, ignoring that fact he knew very well that he did not look fine.

Still Alis wouldn’t go against his orders. She sighed, shoulders slumping slightly, her eyes cast downwards, “Just… fine then. Just please see one if this gets worse.”

Tamlin bit down on the inside of his cheek, but nodded all the same.

***

It got worse, and there wasn’t anything he could do to hide it from anybody too close.

So he locked himself in his study or his room, and tried to focus on anything else. Anything other than the constant headache pounding behind his eyes. The never-ending wish to lay in his bed and sleep until his days ended, and the constant vomiting.

It didn’t relent, instead it worsened.

Alis found him again. In the bathroom in his room. When she spotted his hair, dirty and tangled, eye bags even darker and skin paler than ever. She narrowed her eyes, but quickly tied back his hair. Once he was done, she told him, “We’re getting a healer.”

Tamlin wanted to protest again, but he was so tired. So he said nothing, instead he slumped against the nearest wall and closed his eyes.

Why was this happening? Now of all times, when he needed to be alert for his Court. For the people who were still recovering.

“It’s just stress.” Tamlin told Alis as she put a dampened cloth to his forehead.

“I would still like for you to see a healer.”

‘I don’t believe a word you say’, is what that meant. Tamlin chuckled, but the sound was hollow.

“Alis, I-”

“Hush now, child.” She murmured, brushing a stray strand of hair away from his face as she sat down beside him, “I’ll call a healer, we will figure out what is happening.”

It felt too familiar. Like the days spent in his childhood when he and Alis would sit on the ground in the gardens, whilst she sang him songs in a language he didn’t know at the time. A language she had taught him, so he could sing with her.

It was too nostalgic. He didn’t deserve to feel that love again. That deep rooted, innocent love, it belonged to the child that hadn’t been stained by the world.

It belonged to the kid that hadn’t been ruined in every sense of the word.

Alis didn’t seem to care in the slightest. She took in her hands three strands of blond hair and began to weave a braid.

“It’ll be okay.” She assured him.

Tamlin scoffed, he felt her fingers pause in his hair, so he mumbled, “Nothing seems okay now.”

Alis tilted her head slightly, to see his eyes better. Her brown irises rose to meet his green ones. Alis reached out, her rough fingertips caressing the side of his face ever so softly.

“It will.” She whispered, “It will get better, Tam.”

***

The healer that he saw was named Heilda, she was a short sweet-faced lesser Fae with fluttering mosaic wings and short near white curly hair. Her eyes were all black and her teeth were sharpened. Tamlin was sitting in her office, in a small cottage in the middle of one of the busiest villages, close to the Manor. One of his hands rubbed his temple while the other tapped his leg.

Lucien had dropped him off at Heilda’s residence before leaving to inform Alis he had indeed gone to the healer and not run off. Tamlin had then insisted he didn’t need to, but the headache came back, and Tamlin was powerless to stop the determined redhead.

“How long has the vomiting been happening?” Heilda asked.

The High lord bit the inside of his cheek, quickly thinking back on the past few months since they left the Mountain, “Give or take a month and a half.”

She quickly jotted that down in a leatherback notebook in her hands, then asked, “I’ve also been told you’ve been experiencing severe headaches? How long has that been happening?”

Tamlin shrugged, “I’ve had them all my life, just recently they’re occurring more and more.”

Heilda nodded as she jot notes down in her leather book, before turning to a variety of medicinal herbs and bottles of strangely coloured liquids.

She rifled through a few before taking a mortar and pestle and began to grind a mixture of dried plants and herbs, asking questions as she did.

“Have there been any recent changes in diet?”

“No,” Unless Alis was slowly poisoning him, but he didn’t think her the killer type.

“Drinking water regularly?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been sleeping properly?”

Tamlin almost answered yes, then he remembered the nightmares that riddled his sleep, “...No.”

“Alright, that could be one cause, but from the extent of your headaches I’m inclined to believe there could be something else.” She took the herbal mixture and went to a fireplace where a small cauldron bubbled incessantly, “I’d like to run a few tests, my Lord.”

“Whatever you need to do.” He said.

She took a blood and urinary sample. Tamlin waited for what felt like hours as she put them through several tests, mostly mixing strange things together and watching what happened. Occasionally noting reactions. Tamlin was bored out of his wits, staring at the ceiling, Heilda had given him some strange purple tea, it eased the pressure in his head and the nausea in his stomach, thankfully.

There was a light rapping on the door, followed by a very familiar voice, “Lady Heilda, I was sent by Alis.”

“Come in, Lord Lucien.” Was all Heilda said, not looking up from her work.

Lucien opened the door, his eyes immediately drawn to Tamlin and the drink in his hand. He nodded to it, a silent question, Tamlin just shrugged and jutted his head in the direction of Heilda.

Lucien sat down in a chair beside Tamlin, “How are you doing?”

“Better since drinking this thing.” He said, showing Lucien the painted mug. Lucien nodded.

“What's happening now?” He asked.

“Heilda’s running tests, hopefully we’ll know what’s causing the nausea, we can fix it, then be on our merry way.” Tamlin said, drinking the last of the strange tea.

That was when Heilda clicked her tongue, “I don’t believe this is a problem we can simply fix, my Lord.”

She spun around in her chair, “I believe this problem will be a bit bigger than originally considered.”

Lucien and Tamlin furrowed their brows, glancing at each other before eyeing the healer worriedly. It was Lucien who asked, “And what is the problem exactly?”

Heilda took in a breath, seemingly steeling herself, as if on instinct, Lucien took Tamlin’s hand in his own. Holding him tightly.

“My Lord,” She said, addressing Tamlin, “Have you shapeshifted into a female form, sometime within the last five or six weeks?”

Tamlin was taken aback by the question, he blinked at her, hand tightening in Lucien’s, “I mean… yes, but I’ve done it before, I don’t know how it could cause any issues. Especially not…” He counted the weeks since that night with Feyre, “Six weeks later.”

Now Heilda snapped in a deep breath, “This may be an uncomfortable question, but did you have any penetrative intercourse whilst in female form?”

“You’re right, that is an uncomfortable question.” Tamlin said, blinking at the healer like she had grown a second head, “That shouldn’t have anything to do with my symptoms.”

“Just trust her, Tam.” Lucien said, squeezing his hand in an assuring manner.

“I just need a yes or no answer.” Heilda said gently.

Tamlin sighed deeply, eyes squeezing shut, “Yes. Feyre is a shapeshifter as well.”

Heilda nodded, then leaned back in her chair, “Did you use any contraceptives this night in question?”

Now Tamlin gritted his teeth, “What does this-”

“Tam.” Lucien said gently. Tamlin looked over at his friend and sighed.

“No, we did not.”

Heilda nodded, then she rubbed her hands together. Wringing out her fingers and cracking the knuckles as she crossed one leg over the other, “Okay. What I’m about to say may be shocking.”

“Just spit it out.” Tamlin said, finally and fully fed up with these riddles and strange questions.

“Alright,” Heilda looked between Lucien and Tamlin, Lucien tightened his grip on Tamlin’s hand.

“Congratulations, Lord Tamlin Fairburn, you are pregnant.”

One heartbeat, then a dozen. Tamlin stared at Heilda like she had two heads and a tail. Lucien had gone completely white, the fire lord looked as though he was about to pass out.

Heilda looked between the two, she smiled, then clapped her hands as she wheeled her chair away, “This is what happens when you don’t take contraceptives.”

Tamlin laughed, he laughed hard, nearly falling off his chair. He gripped Lucien’s hand so tightly he could feel his bones grinding under his fingers, Lucien didn’t pull away regardless. The Fox remained silent whilst Tamlin fell into hysterics.

“No!” Tamlin said, pushing himself back into his chair, “No, no, no. I am not- I am not at all. That is wrong!”

Anger now pressed through the hysteria. Heilda sighed like she expected this reaction, turning around she looked over at Tamlin, “Listen, you were in a female form and you-”

“I am not now aren’t I?!” He shouted, standing up from his chair. His sudden motion snapped Lucien from his daze. He quickly stood up and wrapped an arm around Tamlin’s chest. He made to wrap his free arm around his stomach, but suddenly didn’t. When Tamlin looked at him the Fox was breathing deliberately slowly, staring at his abdomen with an unreadable expression.

It only served to piss Tamlin off even more. Heilda, unlike the two before her, stayed calm, her voice soft and gentle when she replied, “No, but you can still retain a womb in this form if your magic allows it.”

“I shifted back the morning after!” Tamlin shouted, “This should’ve never happened! You are wrong!”

“I’m not, and I think you know I’m not. Spring thrives off of fertility magic, your magic protected the foetus growing in your womb.” Heilda replied. So casual as if this happened every other day.

Tamlin stammered and stuttered, trying to figure out someway around this. Some loophole or information that would directly challenge this. Like if he wished hard enough he could prove her wrong. Like if he managed to get angry enough, he could make this go away. Tamlin eventually looked to the floor. Beginning to process the information for what it was. For exactly what it meant.

“I recommend shifting back into the form of a female, it will make this more comfortable.” Heilda said, her voice still so gentle. It stopped making him angrier, and as the initial shock and denial wore off, the world began to tip from one side to the other. Lucien held him up. The red-head’s fingers intertwined with Tamlin’s.

“Is there anything else, Heilda?” Lucien asked, his voice a soft murmur behind Tamlin, yet a dull vibration in the face of the ringing in his ears growing with each passing second.

“Bring him back for some more tests once he’s processed this.” Was all Heilda said. Tamlin was caught between wanting to wake up from this as if it were a dream and wanting to rip her throat out for being so casual about this.

Only Lucien murmured his thanks. Tamlin considered cursing out the healer, but his sudden lack of energy made that impossible.

In the future he would thank Heilda for being so calm, for now, he hated her for it.

Lucien and Tamlin were silent as they left the healer’s office. Lucien kept his hand on Tamlin’s, gently leading the way as Tamlin was still reeling. Barely thinking, he couldn’t hear much besides some of Lucien's gentle murmurs and promises that they would figure it out.

But as Lucien made to winnow them he suddenly stopped, eyes wide, face pale, hands shaking. Tamlin furrowed his brow whispering, “What?”

“Can-Can I winnow you? That won’t hurt…” Lucien bit his lip as he made a quick gesture to Tamlin’s belly.

Tamlin snarled, his fangs a flash of white. He ripped his hand away from Lucien’s and marched in the general direction of Rosehall.

“Tamlin!” Lucien called out, quick to follow him, “Tamlin you can’t just storm off!”

“Watch me!” Tamlin turned around and screamed at him. Lucien stopped dead in his tracks, his nose scrunched as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don’t scream at me, I’m only trying to help!” Lucien told him.

“I don’t need your help, Lucien! I don’t need you!” It was a dirty lie, because Tamlin needed Lucien more than air. Especially now. He felt his legs shaking, he wanted to fall to the ground. He wanted to sleep for a thousand years. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and rage and throw things. He wanted to get angry. He wanted to go back to this morning when this didn’t exist to him.

Tamlin didn’t wait to see Lucien’s reaction to his venomous words, he turned around and continued to storm away.

He didn’t get far. Lucien appeared behind him and picked him up. Holding him in bridal carry. Tamlin yelled and thrashed, spitting curses at him, some of which he had forgotten he even knew.

“Put me down!” His voice was drawing attention from passersby, but Lucien didn’t put him down, just waited.

��Lucien fucking Vanserra let go of me!”

“Stop being a dickhead and I will.”

“You-”

“Tamlin.” Lucien warned. The tiniest hint of a growl in his voice, something about the way he said it made Tamlin stop squirming. The glare of death in the High lord’s eyes never left but he gritted his teeth and stopped moving.

“Good.” Lucien said, putting him back on the ground, but keeping two hands on his shoulders.

“Tamlin, we need to deal with this.” Lucien said, his eyes hard, his face unforgiving.

“I know-”

“No, you will try and ignore this until you are physically unable to any longer, and then we will be unprepared. You and I are going to talk about this, and form a game plan.”

Tamlin’s eye twitched, “Then can you wait until we get back to Rosehall?”

“We will walk back.” Lucien said as he let go of Tamlin and plucked a paper and pen from the space between realms. The red-head scribbled something down before sending it off. Tamlin knew it would be something to Alis to say they would be returning later than expected.

Tamlin’s hands once again curled into fists. He took in a deep breath, “I have shapeshifted, a little magic will not hurt.”

Lucien’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath, “We don’t know that Tam.”

Tamlin laughed quietly, at what he didn’t know. The world was going so fast, at the same time it came to a complete halt.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” Tamlin asked quietly.

Tamlin stared at nothing, vision slowing like a haze was settling over his bones, a dark mist that made everything seem so far away.

“Hey.” Lucien murmured, taking the High lord’s hands in his, “We’ll figure it out.”

They walked. Over the rocky cobblestone paths and through the blooming gardens abounding through Spring, the smell of pollen wafted through the air, mixing with the scents of sweetened coffee and baked goods. The sun was speckled over the ground by the constant clouds passing overhead. Gentle breezes caressed the delicate petals of roses, lilacs and lilies.

Tamlin resolutely stared at the ground ahead, each footstep deliberate and careful. He could feel whenever Lucien’s watchful eyes flicked to him. The High lord wrapped his arms around himself, releasing Lucien's hand, and made sure to not so much as flick his gaze to his emissary.

Eventually it felt like Lucien got the message and looked ahead as well, the clicking of his eye never directed in Tamlin’s direction. Finally Tamlin looked at him, to see Lucien with his head held high and facing straight ahead. His red hair a banner behind him in the breeze. His stride never faltering.

Tamlin felt like a newborn foal next to him, not so graceful and elegant, more clumsy and foolish.

Then a sound filled his ears, one that made him stop dead in his tracks. Tamlin quickly snapped his gaze to his left, looking across a nearby field, filled with a plush blanket of white, purples, pinks and reds, there he saw a gaggle of children. Some lesser Fae, others High Fae. All blowing on dandelion fluff and laughing until they fell to the ground. Two boys with purple skin and big black eyes, chased each other with worms on sticks. A girl with delicate fluttering wings carefully placed a flower crown on a girl with pointed ears, freckles and ginger hair.

Another two girls threw mud onto each other, ruining the delicate lace of their baby blue dresses. And one boy, much smaller than the rest, with wispy brown hair laughed until he fell onto his back.

“Tam?” Tamlin didn’t look at Lucien as his eyes were captivated by the children of his Court playing without a care in the world.

One hand scrunched in the fabric of his trousers, strands of blond hair were picked up by the wind, fluttering over and around his face.

Lucien walked back to stand beside Tamlin as he saw what had halted him. The Fox of Prythian reached his hand out and wrapped Tamlin’s in it.

“It’ll be okay Tam.” He whispered.

“Dahlias.” Tamlin rasped, voice breathy and shaking.

Lucien hummed in confusion and Tamlin pointed to the field, “The field its… the flowers are all dahlias.”

A heartbeat of silence passed them by, floating along like a butterfly on the wind, Lucien squeezed his hand ever so slightly, “A field of dahlias.”

***

The rest of the walk home was less exciting. Mostly Tamlin stayed caught in silence whilst Lucien broached the harder topics that would later need more discussion. The complications of having an Heir of not just Spring, but of the Cursebreaker, so quickly after Amarantha’s reign had come to a completion. Even Feyre was not completely settled into her new body as a High Fae, and certainly not settled into her new role at Court.

Tamlin wouldn’t dream of putting a singular extra duty on her shoulders that she didn’t need to have to stress about so soon after all had been said and done. But he had to admit they needed more publicity, something for the rest of Prythian to see that Feyre Archeron was the Lady of Spring, the saviour of the Mountain, and the Warrior who sent Amarantha to her grave.

He didn’t want her to be a show pony, only to be paraded to see her achievements. She had said it herself on a number of times that she wanted a quiet life. But if a baby was now on the way-

No, not thinking about that.

He didn’t want to think about ‘it’ , he wanted to think about how to get Feyre properly settled. Then how to stabilise the Court, and regain what had been stolen and lost to Amarantha. He needed to focus on the Court right now.

The sight of Rosehall came into view and Tamlin felt a heavy weight settle over his shoulders, he spoke to Lucien while his eyes examined every detail of his home. “Organise dinners, celebrations, prepare for the upcoming holidays. Pay special attention to the farmers, whatever they need, send it to them. The doors of Rosehall are completely open to the public and any that come in seeking refuge from other Courts. And Lucien.”

Tamlin stopped and Lucien halted as well, his brown eyes meeting green, “Make preparations for the tithe, we need to get it back up and running. We are barely holding on as it is, with everything Amarantha has done we cannot afford the losses that have hit us.”

Lucien nodded, Tamlin went on, “Most of the money and jewels from the treasury were stolen and until we send people back under the mountain to retrieve what they can we are on a tight budget. Every coin goes straight into the refugees, the farmers and the villages that have lost their homes.”

“Of course, but Tamlin-”

“The people are in low spirits and the magic will sense that. Spring thrives off of fertility and celebration from the Fae. I haven't even seen the wisps since before we went under the mountain. Until the native creatures of the land return we are in emergency mode. I want a list of everyone we lost to Amarantha, I need a spreadsheet of the damages and the costs necessary to return everything to its former glory, until we are back to normal we will not rest-”

“Tamlin Kali Fairburn!” Lucien eventually yelled.

Tamlin blinked, then he blinked again. Lucien gritted his teeth, the light hitting the emissary in just the right way that his skin seemed to glow with his frustration, “You are stressing yourself out for no reason.”

Tamlin gawked at that, “There is a reason, our Court is still half in ruins-”

The fire lord marched forward and put his hands on his shoulders, “And I will help you to restore it. But you cannot try and handle everything yourself.”

“I am not trying to do everything myself-”

“You are thinking of everything at once, when you need to calm down.” Lucien’s head fell, he took several deep breaths, “Listen, Tam. Like it or not we… you are now responsible for another life.”

Tamlin bristled at that, fangs starting to point through his teeth. Claws pressed against his skin, threatening to burst through.

“Tamlin.” Lucien said slowly, “I know you don’t want to think about this, but that doesn’t change the fact that Spring is…” Lucien took another steadying breath, like he was falling apart at the news himself, “Spring is having an Heir.”

There were the words that crushed Tamlin even more. This… it wouldn’t be just another baby, but an Heir of Spring, a possible successor. A potential future ruler of the Spring Court.

They had no choice but to think about this.

“We will take this one step at a time.” Lucien moved his hands down to clasp his friends, thumbs rubbing the backs of his palms.

Tamlin stared down at the dark fingers massaging gentle circles into his skin. He closed his eyes, the headache pounding harder. He was so fucking tired.

“This is awful.” Tamlin whispered into the space between them.

“I know Tam.” Lucien murmured, his voice near drowned out by the sounds of laughter in the distance.

He felt like he might collapse. A headache pushed into his temple. He noticed a flicker of movement, and then saw that it was in fact a butterfly, small and blue and clueless. Making laps around their heads.

“It’ll be okay.” Lucien reassured him. It was false, they had no idea if it would be okay.

***

It was not okay.

It was absolutely not okay.

He had a headache all the time and sleep became a luxury he apparently could not afford. All of a sudden complaints pushed from all sides as bandits began to infiltrate the Southern and Western borders. Seeing quick money and easy blood to draw.

Many of the servants and sentries had left the grounds for other Courts in order to visit family after the Curse’s conclusion. With quickly hired, inexperienced staff, the grounds began to descend into chaos.

Not to mention how everyone was coping. That being barely.

Nowadays even into the dark hours of the morning, every hall was lit and not a single room didn’t have some form of a faelight and an open window. No one wished to be forced back into darkness, and everyone needed the reassurance of open, blowing air.

The second Tamlin had stepped foot back into his office he was thrown back into work. Now, days didn’t end until he was near passing out from exhaustion and they started the second the ray of first light hit his face.

He wasn’t the only one. Lucien he barely saw anymore, as much as the Fox of Prythian attempted to check on him, they both lost all sense of time. Unable to keep up with their workloads and desperately attempting to pull the Court back into order.

With everything going on, Tamlin had yet to tell anyone about… it.

Alis had tried to push for answers, but even with all her stubbornness, the female knew when she had to back off. The quick snappish answers and flare in temper were enough to tell her, it wasn’t time for her to ask what happened that day with the healer. But Tamlin could tell she was worried.

With everything happening. Tamlin had forgotten the last time he even so much as laid eyes on Feyre.

He was sure he saw her during the nights at some point, but as everything merged into a dazed blur of work, work, work, he couldn’t be sure.

That wasn’t even including the constant strain from symptoms.

Vomiting, and headaches were just the start of it. At times he could barely keep his eyes open even after hours of sleep. If he stood too quickly, all blood rushed from his head and black spots filled his vision. Random outbursts became more prevalent, everything setting him on edge.

"Dear Gods," He cursed, rubbing his temples. Elbows planted on his desk. Tamlin screwed his eyes shut as yet another wave of throbbing crashed over him.

There was a light rapping at his door. Tamlin didn't need to look up as the door opened to know who it was. The scent of cinnamon spice was enough telling.

"Tam." Lucien said tenderly.

Without opening his eyes, Tamlin said, "Lucien Vanserra, if the next words out of your mouth aren't, here is a giant cookie and hot chocolate, I will toss you over the border and back into Autumn."

There was a heartbeat of silence.

Tamlin wouldn't throw Lucien back into Autumn, Tamlin quite liked Lucien.

He would very possibly steal and hide all of his left shoes. Lucien was fully aware of that.

Lucien left the office, and when he returned, he opened the door saying, "Here is a giant cookie and hot chocolate."

Indeed, he was carrying a tray with a giant chocolate chip cookie and two mugs of steaming hot chocolate that made Tamlin's mouth water when he saw them.

Lucien is a smart man. Everyone should be like Lucien, Tamlin thought.

Setting the tray on the dark wood coffee table by the empty fireplace. Lucien sat down on the green velvet lounge.

Tamlin left his desk and joined him. Settling into the soft fabric and hands immediately reaching for said cookie. Lucien smiled softly as he took up his mug.

"Heilda said it would be more comfortable to shift to female form." Lucien said as he absentmindedly toyed with the handle. His voice was soft as he broached the subject, not wishing to provoke anger.

Tamlin bit into the cookie and nearly moaned.

To shift into a female form. To stay like that. It would raise eyebrows and suspicions. And good Gods, when he started to show-

No, not thinking about that.

"So?" Tamlin asked. He knew he had to listen, he had to take into account the possibility of having an Heir for the Court.

Gods, an Heir so soon. They just came out from Under the Mountain. It was all still fresh, too fresh. He could still see her eyes above him. Pushing him down into the sheets-

No.

Not thinking about it.

"So..." Lucien traced the rim of his cup with his finger, "Perhaps you should think about listening to her."

Tamlin's eyes snapped to Lucien's to find the fiery male staring right back. He lifted a perfectly groomed red eyebrow and waited for a response. One leg crossed over the other and head held high.

Lucien didn't back down for anyone, not Beron, not Amarantha, and certainly not Tamlin.

"Or perhaps I won't." I am a grown male, and I will make my own decisions, did not need to be said for Lucien to get the gist of it.

"She is the professional, Tam." He hummed.

"Don't call me that." Not now. Don't be gentle with me.

Lucien put the mug down on the table, it banged as his hands didn't bother to control his strength.

"Alright, this has gone on long enough." Lucien said, "We need to do something about all of this."

"What do you want to do exactly?" Tamlin snapped, temper flaring.

"Gods above." Lucien rubbed his temples and Tamlin wanted to throw something.

"Come up with a goddamn game plan, Tamlin. I want to know what the next moves should be. I mean, have you even told Feyre?" Lucien bounced his knee up and down. Tamlin thought that at any moment he might get up and start pacing.

"Well I- there isn't anything that can be done Lucien!" Tamlin shouted, finally beginning to snap. He hated this. He wanted to be done with it.

And he hadn't told Feyre. He didn't want to. He didn't want to talk about it.

Like if he refused to so much as think about it, it wouldn't exist.

Lucien opened his mouth, eyes blazing and preparing to yell. Then he cut himself short and snapped his mouth shut. Face falling back into carefully crafted blankness and eyes losing any emotions at all.

Tamlin's claws nearly shot through his hands. Fire blazing through him, not just because of the subject at hand, but because of how easily Lucien put his mask on. Hiding his true thoughts so well.

Tamlin wished for the courtier mask, but no matter how hard he tried there was nothing he could do to hide himself.

Fuck this all.

"You need to tell Feyre," Lucien said, crossing his arms. Relaxing back into the lounge, as nonchalant as ever. Tamlin hated it.

"I don't need to do anything." Tamlin hissed.

Lucien chuckled and claws finally pierced to the surface. He dug them into pillow beneath them, slowly counting back from ten.

"What is so funny?"

Lucien picked up his mug again as he shook his head, "Sure you don't need to do anything Tam."

"Get out!" Tamlin shouted.

Lucien rolled his eyes, he put his mug down and slid off the lounge gracefully. A swagger in his step as he left the room, as he passed through the threshold his hand caught the door. He tossed a seething smile over his shoulder and said, "Figure it out on your own then, but figure it out, Tam."

Lucien slammed the door shut before Tamlin could yell at him.

***

Feyre wasn't happy. She didn't know when she started feeling this way, when the total weight of how she felt finally settled into her bones. Like mist in the morning, it descended slowly until she was consumed by it.

She couldn't look the Fae around her in the eyes anymore. Not without seeing the Faeries she had stabbed. The boy's screams filled her eyes at every ring of a bell or snap of a tree branch.

And dear God, the girl who had prayed before she had ended her life. The words seemed carved into her skin, she heard them in the laughter and song of the Priestesses that came in groups for lunch after long days working in the Temple. Every time those swishing robes passed her by, she remembered that prayer.

One of the Priestesses had taken a special interest in her. One of the twelve High Priestesses. Feyre knew little of how religion worked in the Fae Lands. The idea of Gods and such had never interested her. She had worked for too long back in the cabin to spend her time thinking of them.

And if they did exist certainly the Mother was laughing at her.

As of now, Feyre stared out at the gardens. She was sitting by a small table on the porch, watching dahlias sway in the wind. The grounds were covered in them, they had been a flower Elain had grown back at the cabin and then at the new manor they resided in now. One of the only plants Feyre could pin-point.

"I thought I might find you here." A voice said, breaking the silence. Feyre looked back over her shoulder and despite herself a small smile graced her lips.

"Good morning Ianthe, shouldn't you be at a ceremony or such?" Feyre asked.

Ianthe chuckled, her voice and sweet face reminded Feyre a little of Elain. But her overall demeanor and strange stoniness reminded her of Nesta.

"No, the girls are handling everything this morning. I have a break."

Ianthe strolled over to where Feyre was sitting. She pointed to the chair opposite of her and asked, "May I?"

"Please." Feyre said.

Ianthe gracefully slid into the seat, crossing one leg over the other. She did not wear her robes this morning. Her body still completely covered. However, the layers of her dark blue dress were lighter to account for the warmer weather this morning. A pale blue silk scarf covered her head so only a few curling blonde hairs fell around her face.

"Did it hurt? The tattoo I mean." Feyre eventually asked. The tattoo of the phases of the moon, they interested Feyre. Whilst she now had a swirling tattoo along her arm, that one had been stained magically.

Violet cruel eyes. Taunting hands and a laughing voice.

No. Not thinking about him.

Ianthe watched the swaying gardens as she answered. Her face was not cold, but it wasn't warm either. Like a stoic mother, Feyre thought.

"Yes, but it was worth it to be given this honour." Ianthe answered.

Feyre hummed, "Did you always want to be a High Priestess?"

Ianthe chuckled, finger tracing her knee, "My, my, many questions this morning."

The Archeron sister stiffened for a moment, "You don't need to answer if it makes uncom-"

Ianthe lifted a slender hand, she turned her full eyes back to Feyre and smiled, "I am teasing Feyre."

"Oh."

"As for your question, I always knew I wanted to be part of the Court. I worked well with the others. And I knew I could help this Court, the way the former High lord ruled he..."

Ianthe cut herself off as a darkness filled her eyes. Her mouth twisted into a straight line. Feyre furrowed her brow, concern beginning to creep in, "He...?"

Ianthe quickly shook her head and straightened, pulling herself from her thoughts, "He just... He wasn't a good male and I knew I could do something to help. As for becoming a High Priestess specifically I-"

Now a soft smile adorned her face as she lifted her eyes to the white sun's rays.

"I have always had an affinity for the Mother and her creation."

Feyre turned her own eyes back to the dahlia flowers. Blooming prettily as if not just months before the Spring Court had been ravaged and left in ruins.

"The world is going back to normal." Feyre noted.

Ianthe laughed suddenly, and Feyre snapped her eyes back to her.

The High Priestess shook her head and murmured, "Nothing will ever be normal again."

"You weren't even here for the fifty years," Feyre pointed out, recalling what Lucien had told her before. How Ianthe's father had sent her and her sisters to the continent right as the curse was hitting.

At her words Ianthe balled her dress up into her fists, "You don't know my story."

"Then tell me." I will listen, Feyre wanted to say.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Ianthe watched her. Blue eyes like sapphires in the light, "You won't understand."

"Try me."

A shake of her head and an amused smile, "Count the blessings you have flower, appreciate them. For at any moment, they can all be taken."

Feyre blinked. Then her face fell into deadpan.

What was it with Fae and their riddles?

Ianthe threw her head back as she laughed at Feyre's confusion, "Flower just know not to take the word of Faeries at face value."

Ianthe leaned back into her chair and Feyre asked, "Can you guys just... tell me what you mean?"

A sly smile and glinted eyes, "Now where's the fun in that?"

***

She hated her reflection. She stood in front of the mirror as Ianthe carefully placed a crown of daisies and dahlias in her hair.

"Why dahlias?" Feyre had asked.

Ianthe had shrugged, "You seemed to like them."

They had gone through enough dresses to last Feyre a lifetime. She had never liked dresses and today did not change that. She longed for something she could move in. Felt like restricted in. But she sucked it up.

Ianthe had brought in a myriad of different dresses for her to try. To find one she liked best.

"Do they all have to be so..." Feyre had gestured to large puffy sleeve and Ianthe had snickered.

"For the record these were the former Lady of Spring's dresses."

Feyre had gone very, very still at that. Guilt shocking through her at how she hadn't liked the look of them.

Ianthe had then rolled her eyes, "Do not fret, child, the Lady hadn't particularly adored them either. But it is tradition to wear the dresses of the former Lady. This were the Lady of Spring's before hers, and before hers. Now they will be yours."

Ianthe had then reassured Feyre, "Just for today at least, then they'll go back into a bag and into the closet to sit for the next several centuries."

Feyre had laughed suddenly at that, and the knot of anxiety welling in her stomach had begun to ease.

Feyre had then rifled through the atrocious amount of fabrics. And eventually her hands landed on one particular dress. It was the biggest of them all, with an atrocious amount of tulle, lace and puffs. It was beautiful, Feyre could admit as much as that. But it was... so much.

Feyre had bit down on her lip, trying not to laugh. Then she had looked at Ianthe whose eye was twitching as she pursed her lips, desperately keeping her own laughter down.

They met each other's sights and were helpless but to fall into hysterics.

The dress had been laid on the bed, but Feyre had decided on a far simpler one. Long, green silk simple sleeves, and a high neckline that opened just above her cleavage. The corseted part of the dress was embroidered with gold designs and tightly hugged her waist. Her far too small waist. As Ianthe had tied the back her eyes flicked up to Feyre in the mirror, hands still on the strings.

Feyre had looked down, Ianthe continued and neither spoke of just how frail she had become. The High Priestess occasionally opened her mouth to say something, just to snap it closed. Ianthe didn't appear to know how to comfort, how to reassure. So, she didn't try.

Now the look was complete. Feyre watched herself in the mirror. The long green skirts of her dress swirled as she moved.

"There." Ianthe said. Feyre met her eyes in the mirror.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

Feyre didn't answer. She thought back on that day in the field when Tamlin had proposed to her, how happy she had been. How in so long the memories of Under the Mountain hadn't haunted her.

Yet after all was said and done, it all came back. All had asked to show them the ring and expected her to gush about the future wedding and her engagement. Yet all enthusiasm had drained from her. Like the second Tamlin was not directly in front of her she no longer felt that passion any longer.

It was just nerves. Nothing else. Once this day was said and done it would no longer bother her.

"Yes."

Ianthe nodded, her eyes firm and set on Feyre through the mirror. A heartbeat passed and Feyre said, "We best be going then."

As she moved to leave. Ianthe put her hands on Feyre's shoulders, "One moment, my Lady."

The Cursebreaker furrowed her brow but remained still. Ianthe didn't break eye contact as she swiftly pulled a necklace out from underneath her robes. It swung from her neck, a beautiful green emerald that shone in the light. It was small and hung from a golden chain.

Feyre blinked, opening her mouth to ask what was happening. But Ianthe answered her question, as she unclasped the necklace and swiftly placed it around Feyre's throat.

"Ianthe-" Feyre started.

"Take it, Cursebreaker." As she let it hang from Feyre's neck she murmured, "You may need it."

"Need it?" Feyre whispered.

Ianthe just smiled, "Trust me."

"You said yourself not to take the words of Fae at face value." Feyre countered.

"I did." She stated.

Before Feyre could once again point out the blatant hypocrisy, Ianthe said, "Try to see past the person, Feyre. Try and see what may lay underneath."

***

He hated his reflection. Standing in front of the mirror whilst Alis fixed his hair and jacket burned a flaming rage deep in his core, but there was little he could do. Other than stand still and allow the Summer Faery to do her work.

"You look very handsome." Alis smiled up at him as she stepped back, admiring her handiwork.

Tamlin tried to give her a smile back, but he could only manage a weak nod as he stared at himself.

Shell of a person. Eyes sunken from lack of sleep, skin unnervingly pale, gaunt, hollow.

At least the suit was well made, tailored, green with whites and golds. Alis had braided flowers through his hair and dusted his face with just the slightest of makeup, she told him it was for the look to come together perfectly. But he knew it was to coverup the deadness in his face.

The lesser faery opened and closed her mouth. Eyebrows furrowing. Tamlin nearly groaned.

"What is it, Alis?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, brushing away a speck of lint from his shoulder. Tamlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"I am sure." He said, finally turning away from that godforsaken mirror. He faced the door of his bedroom. Lucien stood there. Dressed to the nines in green. Far more understated than Tamlin but just as gorgeous.

"Ready?" Lucien asked.

Tamlin shifted under his piercing gaze. The Fox scrutinized every inch of him, he was on display, wholly and completely.

"I'm fine." Tamlin settled to say. He wouldn't admit how he felt sick to his stomach and the fluttering of anxiety was threatening to send running to bathroom to throw up once again.

He held strong. He wouldn't be made weak. No matter how weak he truly felt.

Lucien didn't believe that for a second. But he said nothing as he moved from the doorway and said, "Well then, the wedding is on in less than five minutes."

Feyre hesitated from her place at the end of the aisle.

Her eyes agitated, hands shaking. Tamlin held his breath. She looked beautiful, but Feyre was always beautiful. A ring of flowers adorned her head, her eyes held the wedding venue before her.

Ianthe was the one she watched; Tamlin risked a glance at the Priestess who watched Feyre closely. Slowly she raised a hand, and with a soft voice beckoned, "Come, Lady of Spring."

Feyre loosened a breath, her chest rising and falling with measured, calculated breaths. She took a step forward and Tamlin's chest constricted. He sucked in a breath, and she took another step forward. The knot pulled tighter and tighter.

He remembered when she had been dragged in by Attor. Tossed to Amarantha's feet.

Panic had filled him. He had nearly fainted. Surely, she wasn't there, because he had sent her back. She was back in the human lands there was no possible way for her to have come Under the Mountain.

Yet there she had been.

The image faded in and out. Shifting from Feyre's perfect, unmarked face to the bruised snarling face she had worn that day so many months ago.

She took a step forward.

He was going to throw up.

Then she took a step back.

For a second, for a fleeting moment, the knot in his chest loosened and he felt like he could breathe again.

Then she took another step back. The knot tightened once more.

Eyes widened, and whispers erupted in the crowd of Fae.

Fuck.

No.

Like a rope pulled him forward, Tamlin took a step towards Feyre. The world slowed to one moment in time. She stumbled further back, shaking her head. And Tamlin stepped further into the aisle.

Something snapped in her gaze. She turned on her heel and sprinted.

There was a gasp, and hot white rage flew through the High lord. Filling his veins, breaking something that had been pulled taut for too long now.

He nearly launched into a run after her.

"Tamlin." Lucien hissed, as he lept forward and pulled Tamlin back.

Tamlin turned around to snarl at him, but in a second they were gone. Winnowed.

Tamlin shouted into the darkness that enveloped them. And by the time they landed he was screaming curses at the red head. Lucien didn't seem to care.

They were in his study. The window were open and sunshine was pouring in. Yet the house was empty as the grounds descended into chaos as the groom and bride had each disappeared.

"Why did you-" Tamlin shouted, but Lucien snapped.

"She was running away, what were you going to do?! Grab her and force her to marry you!" Lucien shouted, whilst pointing a finger into Tamlin's chest.

"You-"

"Don't start with me Tamlin! We will find her, but for now calm the fuck down!"

Tamlin blinked, initial rage simmering into something else entirely.

What just happened.

In the span of a few seconds, he had gone from jittering at the altar, watching his bride, then watching her run from him as he attempted to go after her.

He must have looked as shocked as he felt, because Lucien put a hand on each of his shoulders and guided him to the lounge.

"Sit." Lucien ordered, Tamlin obeyed. Staring into nothing, mind horribly blank.

Eventually one smaller thought came to mind, "I thought I wasn't allowed to winnow."

"You can in short distances, I spoke to Heilda. But she recommended it be someone else doing to actually winnowing."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Lucien sat down on the arm of the lounge.

"What do I do now?"

Lucien stared at him and for the first time said, "I have no idea."

***

"Feyre!"

Feyre didn't respond to the call. She crossed her arms and pressed further back into the trunk of the tree she was sitting in. Her knees bent, keeping her curled into the branch and just out of sight.

"Feyre oh sh- Mother lead me." Ianthe hissed as she caught herself from cursing, "Where is that girl?"

Feyre craned her neck to look down. She saw Ianthe holding up her pale blue robes in one hand and her shoes in the other as she trod through grass and mud.

"Feyre! I know you're out here somewhere!"

Somewhere indeed, currently right above her.

Ianthe screwed eyes shut and sighed deeply, "Couldn't have run somewhere inside, no we had to go out into the forest."

Despite the guilt and shame, the anxiety and hurt knotting and writhing in her stomach, threatening to make her lose her breakfast. Feyre chuckled.

Bad decision, as Ianthe straightened, her fae senses alerting her to the sound.

Ianthe whirled her head back and forth, "Feyre?"

Feyre had the muffle her laughter with the palm of her hand. But it wasn't enough to escape the hearing of the High Priestess.

Finally, Ianthe furrowed her brow and looked right up. Her confusion fell into deadpan as she saw the Cursebreaker nestled in a branch.

Mouth pursing, Ianthe gripped her robes a little tighter then asked, "Flower why are you in a tree?"

It hit her again.

As she had walked down the aisle. Seen the people, the faces staring and waiting. Seen Tamlin watching her. Then had seen Ianthe.

Permanant. Permanently stuck here. Permanently with the memories. Seeing everyone watching, like they had watched Under the Mountain.

That prayer had rushed through her head again. And she saw their faces when she stabbed them.

"Feyre?"

Feyre looked back down to Ianthe, but gritted her teeth and did not answer.

"Feyre." Ianthe said, deadpan, "Do not make me climb a tree."

Still Feyre remained silent whilst she brooded on her branch.

Ianthe's eye twitched. And finally she sighed heavily, mumbling something about the Mother punishing her.

"Fine! Fine." She said, dropping her shoes and letting her robes down from her hand.

Then Feyre watched as the pristine, tidy, and uptight High Priestess of Spring, grabbed onto a branch and planted her foot into the trunk. Climbing the tree.

She nearly slipped and fell, a curse nearly falling from her lips before she caught herself.

Her robes got caught on a sharp piece of bark and there was a ripping sound. Ianthe made a disgusted sound, before she climbed up higher and higher.

Finally, after clumsily forcing her way onto a branch right beside Feyre, she sat down. Panting heavily. Then she checked the small hole made in the hem of her robes.

She gritted her teeth but ultimately let it fall away as she faced why she came out here.

"Feyre, lovely spot you have here." Ianthe said, sarcasm lacing her voice.

"Thanks, picked it out myself." Feyre snapped.

The High Priestess sighed, "Feyre, you have to come down."

"Yes, I have to go down. And I have to go back to the wedding, don't I?" She snapped.

Ianthe observed her for a moment, before shifting uncomfortably. Stoic face seemingly trying to figure out what the best course of action was. Thinking logically, no doubt just wondering what the quickest way to get Feyre back to the wedding was.

It struck her that Ianthe didn't actually care what Feyre was feeling. She was doing as she was told, no other reason. It made Feyre feel all the more alone.

Back in that dungeon, with nothing to keep her company but her will and a bargain.

"Do you... Do you not wish to marry him?" She asked.

Feyre gritted her teeth, she screwed her eyes shut. Darkness pressed in and she remembered the Attor dragging her into the throne room.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to forget anything that ever happened. She wanted to go somewhere none of it ever touched her again.

"Feyre-"

"Just go away Ianthe I don't want to speak to you!" She shouted.

Ianthe bristled, "I am just trying to help-"

"Well you aren't!"

Now, her face iced over. Stone cold and fed up, "We have to go back, now either we can go willingly together, or I will get the sentries and they will drag you back."

A tremor ran up her spine at the threat, "I don't want to go back, Ianthe."

Ianthe loosened a tight breath, "Feyre, let's go home now."

"No."

"Archeron-" Her tone was warning.

"I don't- I don't want to go back." Feyre insisted.

Ianthe scrunched her nose slightly, eyebrows furrowing. Then her face evened out and her voice sweetened, "Feyre, we must go back."

The sudden change in tone, in face, a lure. An attempt at false comfort. The Priestess held out her hand.

Feyre looked at the pale hand before her.

Then at the ground.

Back to the pale hand.

Feyre reached out and Ianthe smiled.

The Cursebreaker batted her hand away with enough force that Ianthe shouted but nearly fell off balance. Giving Feyre enough to time to jump to the forest floor and bolt.

"Feyre Archeron!" Ianthe clung to the branch as she watched Feyre's form disappear further into the dark forest.

Slowly she took inhaled, before releasing her breath. She closed her eyes and asked the sky, "Why, why, why, why, why?"

Feyre ran and ran and ran. She lost a shoe but she didn't care. The feeling of dirt underfoot somehow comforting. Reminding her she was still there and breathing. In the wind, in the open space. Not in that cave, not Under the Mountain.

Yet still there. Always there like it followed her. A ghost of those months looming over her head.

She reached a clearing of grass and wildflowers. She fell to her knees. Legs unable to hold her any longer.

She shook, trembling hands and arms. She should've been able to run faster and far further than that.

But looking at her arms, they were spindly. Her legs which were sticks compared to what they had once been. She felt her cheeks, her face which was hollowed out.

Her fingers to skinny, her organs pressed against the skin of her torso.

When was the last time she had eaten? Had felt the urge to eat anything?

She licked her lips, her throat dry. The air was suffocating. Pollen that was sickeningly sweet. Air open, without any end.

A part of her wondered whether she had ever come out from Under the Mountain, feared, dreaded that at any moment she would awaken.

She heaved a sob, cries racking through her too fragile bones. Like she was made of glass she trembled.

Feyre felt like she was made of glass. Like at a single touch she might crack and fall into a thousand pieces and never be able to be put back together again.

'Make it stop.' She cried in her mind, sniffling, 'Someone make it all stop.'

'Take me away.' She pleaded with nothing.

There was the sound of stick cracking underfoot and Feyre's head snapped up.

But instead of Ianthe or sentries, violet eyes shone down upon her.

"Hello Feyre Darling."

"You!" Someone shouted, Rhysand and Feyre looked up to see Ianthe panting as she pointed to Rhysand.

Feyre had never seen her quite so dishevelled. But rage lined her features.

Rhysand however, simply smirked, before grabbing Feyre's arm as she screamed. The Night Lord lifted her tattooed hand and pointed to it.

"Don't mind me, pretty Priestess, I am simply collecting."

And just like that.

Rhysand winnowed them away.

***

"What do you mean she's gone?" Tamlin asked, voice near breathless.

Ianthe's eye was twitching relentlessly. She looked as though she had been dragged through a thorn bush. Then again if she had run after Feyre she may have been. Stick and leaves were stuck in her hair, some parts of her robes were torn. And dirt smudged her cheek.

"I mean she was whisked away by the Night Court." Ianthe said, "Our worst fears came true, and Rhysand made good on his word."

"Bastard son of a bitch." Lucien cursed from behind Tamlin.

Tamlin said nothing, unable to move. His eyes turned to Alis by the door who looked between the Priestess and the High lord with sympathetic eyes.

Slowly it lapped at his core. Rage that made his eyes start to black out. His hands trembling by his sides.

Chest rising and falling quicker.

Ianthe looked him up and down, then said to Lucien, "I'll leave you two to deal with this. I am going to have a six-hour long bath."

In a second the Priestess was gone. Alis following after her.

"Lucien, get out." Was the only warning Tamlin gave him.

Lucien's eyes went wide, and he sprinted out the door, slamming it closed.

And Tamlin's magic exploded in a second.

The High lord screamed as his magic ripped through him. flooding his veins with uncontrollable, overwhelming power. He screamed and fell to his knees. A ringing filled his ears, his vision went white.

When it resided, a sob wracked his body as shaking overtook him. His skin heated, getting hotter and hotter until his clothes were soaked with sweat. Trembling, Tamlin tried to pull himself to stand, but he suddenly doubled over and threw up.

The door flung open and Lucien shouted something he couldn't hear. The world was a swirling, dizzy haze of nothing.

Someone gasped and Tamlin looked up to see Alis sprinting for him. The female cupped his face, and Tamlin blacked out.

Link to chapter 2 is here! Link to chapter 3 is here!

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letstalkwhump · 1 year

Text

Let's Talk Whump

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! This is Izzy and Malice and we’ll be your hosts today.

Here with us today is the one and only @whumpsday!

Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself!

My name is Mill and I’m 26! Aside from the whump hobbies of writing and roleplaying, I also play TTRPGs. (My favorites are everything in the Awaken Realms catalogue: Etherfields and Tainted Grail, and I’ll start ISS Vanguard after I finish the Etherfields expansions. Gonna start Vampire the Masquerade soon too.) I haven’t played any roleplay-based TTRPGs like D&D yet, but I’d love to someday. My favorite color is red and my favorite animal is the cat.

That’s sweet as! What does whump mean to you?

Creative content involving characters’ pain would probably be the broadest definition that still includes everything. I consider it a subgenre of horror, with the added bonus of often showing the gritty recovery from the trauma.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join?

I originally found whump fiction on AO3 while browsing G/t content (Giant/tiny, content for characters with size differences, such as one being 4 inches tall. It’s the other niche art/writing community I’m in.) That led me to tumblr, and here I am! I’d always enjoyed whump-type content as far as I can remember. I lurked for a couple of years before finally making an account and joining because I was eager to share the stories of my daydream characters.

Do you think the way you view whump has changed since joining the community here?

It hasn’t changed much! Always been an OC writer and still am. But I’ve only been here for a year and a half.

Now the important questions: what is your favourite whump trope?

My favorite whump trope is probably an immortal whumpee. With a human, you’re bound by the constraints of a human body. People die if you torture them too much. But if your whumpee is immortal, that goes away and the possibilities are limitless. Bonus if they’re a generally-despised species like a vampire or demon.

Immortal whumpee are so good! Endless possibilities equals endless whump! Would you like to share some of your writing with us?

My main series, Kane & Jim, is undoubtedly my favorite. I never thought I could be a writer, and I’m proud of myself for writing 50 chapters of that and counting. Within that, my favorite piece is either Hunger (#15) or Papercut (#17). Link: https://whumpsday.tumblr.com/post/709301997070909440/kane-jim-masterlist-writing-order-click

Love the authors notes on Papercut #17! What's your writing style like?

I generally write in the late night (anytime from 11pm to 4am) in big blocks. I do not eat or listen to music, and have a water bottle nearby. I used to write very regularly but have since fallen off, and have just recently gotten back on track.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words usually flow for? Is there something you struggle with writing?

I always find it easier to write single-scene chapters with no cuts. I find it more difficult to write things spanning long lengths of time with time skips abound.

And are you working on anything at the moment?

I am currently working on my pieces for the Whumpmas in July event (@whumpmasinjuly), which will be half Kane & Jim works and half one-shot short stories.

I’m so excited for Whumpmas in July, it’s such a cool event! Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today?

I’m not too good at jokes, so instead have my favorite cat video of all time for a smile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rELs4jl64k

Aww kittens! That’s definitely a smile from me! Is there any writing advice you’d like to share?

You don’t have to write everything in order. If something in a piece is giving you trouble, slap a “COME BACK HERE” label on it and move on to something the inspiration is flowing for.

Finally is there anyone you’d like to mention?

Sorry this is a lot… I have too much love in my heart <3

@anomalys-taxonomy, @blackberry-bloody, @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night, @emmettnet, @lost-in-labradorite-halls, @lumpofwhump, @not-a-space-alien, @obsessedwithegos, @oddsconvert, @pardonmekreature, @quietly-by-myself, @t0rture-me, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @whump-queen, @whumperstorm, @whumpshaped, @whumpwillow, @wolfeyedwitch, @whumpy-writings, @whumpzone

Any last words?

i forced myself to use proper capitalization for this interview but i’m a lowercase guy at heart

Thank you so much for joining us today! It was great to have you on the show!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

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tommyssupercoolblog · 2 months

Text

Writing Pattern Tag Game

@bootlegfrank tagged me and @septiccoffeefreak - who shares this post w me because we're writing partners >:3 (frank tagged us indirectly. and then directly because i responded saying i was gonna do it. so in-indirect-diretly(??))

Rules: list the first lines(s) of your last 10 fics and see if there's a pattern. I also said where each one is from in case u don't wanna scroll through our ao3 and do the math urself!!!

all these fics except one r RPF, sooo BE WARNED. i'm putting everything under da cut, and i'm also putting my reblog banner since fanfiction!!! is!!! art!!!

Seán’s about ready to burn his entire calendar.

from "Scheduling Conflicts and How To Cope - A Guide For The Busy Homosexual"

Tommy hates LA with every fiber of his being.

from "City Of Angels"

it's cold, and it hurts.

from "The Part Where it Gets Better (Lads rescue AU)", and also THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD OUT OF CONTEXT LIKE WHAT'S COLD??? it's water. the water is cold. this is the character based one btw. WE FOUND IT, THE NON-RPF!!!

Tommy inspects Seán’s behelit tattoo carefully, running his thumb over it a little, then kisses it.

I fucking would. kissing all his tattoos right now. mwah. this goddamn MOOD is from "There's No Place Like Home"

Ethan N3st0r was not expecting Seán to still be awake at three AM, even though with jet lag considered, he really fuckin should have.

I censored the name for search but it's not like that in the fic, that's just for tumblr. anyway, from "Three Drabbles In Which Tommy and Seán are bad at Keeping Secrets"

Ethan's the one to bring it up first, on Brain Leak, of all things.

OPENING WITH ETHAN AGAIN LMAOO. this is from "And Suddenly, It Makes Sense."

"So, who would have thought, huh? T0mmy1nn1t and Jacks3pt1c3y3, famous YouTubers, passed away in their sleep on the same night."

censored for tumblr again. from "Count your Soulmates- There's only one."

Seán and Tommy have sleepovers sometimes.

from "kissing practice". very original opening line /sar /lh (also tbh i feel awful about em being evil in this one :( I know its fanfic and i can do whatever I want but like. idk. i'm not accusing em of being mean IRL okay??? OKAY))

Seán spends about fifteen minutes pacing and staring at himself in the mirror, doing breathing exercises his therapist taught him and trying not to rub or scratch his wrists too much.

from "Puppy Love", the closest we've ever gotten to full misce posting on main

They were gluing ducks to a jeep the first time it happened.

FROM "PETNAMES" AND ALSO THE BEST OPENING LINE EVER

INTERPRETATION TIME!!!!

soooo yeah!!! we like to jump right into action as well but I think it's safe to say our autistic ass habits of giving exposition for everything lead to the specific outcome of starting in the middle of a scene, WITH an explanation of the scene. like we're already in the middle of something going on but also sometimes it's exposition at the same time somehow?? or like right after these first lines. idk maybe that's just me????

the way it's usually less (character does this) and more (character does this BECAUSE ____ // character is doing this and FEELING ____) feels like it's trying to give context, to me. but again idk maybe just me

TIME FOR SEÁN'S READING:

@septiccoffeefreak - "What I'm noticing here is more along the lines of just, how we almost always seem to open with a person. Usually by their actual name(s) too and not just a pronoun. I understand what you mean, Tommy, but I don't personally get that vibe? You could totally be right, of course, I just don't pick up on that. I defenitely notice, though, just how many of these are sentences where the literal first word is a name. the two exceptions to that are the pronoun "they" (which is still a person- or two people actually), and then water.

I guess the dialogue could also be considered an exception, but I don't think it counts since it also directly references us as characters.

and that's not something you necessarily have to do. You could open describing scenery or objects, or with dialogue that DOESN'T have the names of the characters in it- you could open with wind through a blade of grass or a character cursing under their breath or someone's cellphone crashing to the pavement or something. So it's definitely an "us" thing, it's a quirk of our writing style and not just normal writing. I don't know if like, we ALWAYS do this, but I do know that in these ten fics you pulled we do. I wouldn't be surprised if we did it like literally all the time as well, but I'm not going to pretend to know every first line we've ever penned to paper. or...print?? I don't fucking know, here, I'm just analyzing sentences on the internet for a tagging project.

Sorry if this ramble is kind of long, I hope it's at least interesting though??? sort of interesting? kind of interesting, in it's own way, hopefully. at least mildly, like a video you didn't turn on but aren't really reaching for the mouse/remote on to change it. You know?? Yeah. Like that. Or more interesting then that, hopefully. Thanks for uh, reading or, whatever, listening if you have a screen reader i guess, I'm getting nervous and it's very obvious because i'm rambling so I'm gonna hand things back off to the birthday boy, Toms. wish Tommo a happy birthday or I swear to fucking god your liver will be missing in the morning and you'll find it at the bottom of your morning cup of coffee."

back to me:

LMAO

wow omg i love my babygirl,,,, that made me laugh >:p

ANYWAYS. i didn't notice that!! oh em gee,,,,, name moment.

YOU SHOULD DO THIS TOO AND SEE IF YOUUUU SEE ANYTHING!!!!!

I'M TAGGING @kalcifers-blog AND.... no one else because all my other mutuals who i know for a fact write have paused as far as i'm aware, bc they're into mcyt RPF like I am and the w1lbvr situation put them on hiatus. and i don't know if any of them are back to feeling up to writing stuff.

I don't write about w1bvr ever and didn't watch him so I wasn't that affected but a lot of people were even if they just watched so like... Kalcie ur alone on here i'm SO SORRIE. ALSO this is /nf so u don't have to if u dont want to :p :3 >:D :000 >:PPPP :000 >:00

#i made a textpost #tommy's og art wow #fanfic #rpf fanfiction #rpf #fanfic rpf #rpf fanfic #fanfiction rpf #tagging game #tag game #tag chain #writting pattern tag game #septicinnit #literally all of these RPF fics. are septicinnit

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adickaboutspoons · 6 months

Text

Fanfic Masterprint

(envinoveritas over on AO3. Why settle for just one pseud?) Dearly Beloved A comedy of errors based on this exchange. 8,241 words; Rated T

Something Weird A silly little ficlet in which Ed makes a proposition & Stede makes an assumption. 303 words; Rated T

Stede Sonnets I have a problem. It’s everyone’s problem now. An ever-expanding collection of sonnets. Let's say Rated M because some of them are kind of dirty.

Beautiful and Useless Missing scene; wound care after the Stab Me scene. 6,658 words; Rated T

Your Achilles Alternative Perspective Sequel of the events of "Beautiful and Useless." Longer and hornier. 10,038 words; Rated E Hook Head Man Tale Short one-shot resulting from an ofmd-daily challenge. 1,582 words; G-rated metafiction

Put Your Kraken Arms Around Me Inspired by @wearfinethingsalltoowell: Imagine Stede not knowing bed-sharing etiquette and so he rolls over to the side to give Ed space, and then Ed is just like “nope. I’m getting a hug Stede no escape”. 1,055 words; T-rated bedsharing fluff

And Hold Me And Touch Me Inspired by @wearfinethingsalltoowell: Imagine Ed getting giggly drunk, dropping into Stede’s lap, telling him how pretty he is, kissing him, giving him the baby cow eyes, asking for snuggles.

Now imagine it’s pre-reconciliation. 1,160 words; Rated T

Advanced Maneuvers Remember that scene where Ed taught Stede the "Unhand Me or Bleed" maneuver? No? Huh. 1st chapter rated T; can be read as a stand-alone. 2nd chapter rated E; written because I believe in rewarding lovely comments with smut. 9,190 words total

Timing is Everything Alternative Perspective Sequel to "Advanced Maneuvers." Wherein Ed decides to teach Stede the "Unhand me or bleed" maneuver. For purely altruistic reasons, and not at all because he was fucking desperate for an excuse to rub up against him. Yep. 15,172 words; ALL of it rated E because I believe in rewarding lovely comments with smut AND Ed Teach is thirsty af.

Holy Fuck Pretty much what it says on the tin; E-rated priest-kink sacrelicious smutty smut. 6,119 words Under Par From @jellybeanium124: is anyone gonna write a fic where ed and stede ditch a country club party together and steal a golf cart and write around drunk?? ed in a golf cart please! And @serious-goose: i raise you flirty cartgirl!Ed. if you know you know. they basically sell drinks and snacks to old rich dudes at golf courses and ride around on golf cart drink carts. some flirt for tips... 😏 All I can say is "Por que no los dos?" Modern AU. 4,237 words; Rated T

Time Enough From @let-me-dream-with-the-stars: If the show had enough of a budget, I had the idea yesterday of a moment where Stede and Ed trapped inside a room, maybe a sinking ship the revenge and the rooms filling with waterJust the ULTIMATE drama: trapped beneath a bookshelf? They have to keep pushing even as they are now underwater? One escapes and has to pull the other out as he's slowly becoming weak????????

3,889 words; Rated T

Unbelievable A response to @ofmd-dailyquest prompt: Make Up Unbelievable Stories about The Most Fearsome Pirate. 459 words; Rated T

Footsteps in the Dark Originally posted to tumblr in response to a post from @nicnacsnonsense: "No wait, Stede, come back! Tell me more about how you have Ed’s gait memorized." This is the story of how that happened. 1,052 words; Rated T

Like I Want to be Awake Alternative Perspective Sequel (that's my brand, baby) to "Footsteps in the Dark." Response to @nicnacsnonsence comment on that fic: "also tell me more about Ed’s horny fingertips 😏" 16,310 words; Rated E

When a Good Plan Comes Together based on this prompt:

Can you imagine the first time ed and stede does a huge fuckery together? Them getting to sit together and plan it all out with there heads close together leaning over their plans. Them getting ready for it together all giggly and excited and then executing it together all in sync. And after they will be so proud of each other. So proud of them. Kissing all full of adrenaline and the rush of the action. 1,077 words; Rated T

Spin Inspired by @wearfinethingsalltoowell's Spin the Bottle prompt.

Slight canon divergence where Jack busts out Spin the Bottle instead of Whippies part 2 at the end of "We Gull Way Back". 2,544 words; Rated T

The Stede That Stayed A quick little thing I jotted out while waiting for the new eps to drop. Now in the post-drop haze, I am delighted to say it is not canon-compliant.

Inspired by this prompt from @wearsfinethingsalltoowell:

"My favorite fic trope is Stede comes back in the middle of the night and Ed thinks it’s a dream and so they have sex. Then Stede’s still there in the morning and he is confused" 2,234 words; Rated E

The Devil’s Panties When Stede falls ill, Ed takes it upon himself to find out what he can about the strange, glowing flower that made his friend sick and to find a cure for his malady. It sounds so innocent and wholesome, doesn’t it? j/k; It’s a sex-pollen story. 14,023 words; Rated E

Microfiction (tag novels and plot bunnies): 1985 (a dream I had that maybe will one day become an AU?) “In the Closet” a tag novel “Florida Man” a CJ tag-novel “Arm’s Length” a post-reunion, pre-reconciliation tag novel “Fine” an S2 wedding tag novel “Falling into Sunlight” a different S2 wedding tag novel “It’s Easy” a pr0ny tag novel “The Very Model” a Pirates of Penzance X-over tag novel “Can’t Hardly Weight” a gym-based AU tag novel “To the Mattresses” “Stacked” a cosplay-inspired library-centric tag novel “Let Me Check You Out” a sexy librarian AU tag novel “On the Edge of A Knife” a noir-style tag novel that I swear I’m actually going to write one day

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my modest contribution to fandom

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pastafossa · 1 year

Note

hey pasta! I don’t know if someone has asked this already but is TRT gonna go into Born Again or end at season 3?

So that's where I'm not sure! The current outline is as such:

All Major Arcs (including Cyrus James/Project Beagle fallout arc and psychic abilities arcs): scheduled to wrap up a bit after the end of S3 so that Matt and Jane's arcs/development neatly dovetail together. This will mark the official end of TRT's main fic.

Special Additional Arcs (chaptered fics not attached to main fic but still TRT canon, taking place after end of main fic) in no particular order: Endgame/The Snap arc, Spider-Man: NWH arc, Spoiler Removed arc, tentative She Hulk Shenanigans arc.

Oneshot Arcs: various domestic fluff arcs, interactions with major MCU events, a 'What Their Life Is Like When Old Cause GD It They're Going To Live To Old Age And Will Have Rocking Chairs' arc, a SINGLE take it or leave it 'What If?' fic of something funny with a possible daughter cause damn I had this idea for a hilarious scene and it won't leave me alone

Now, those are what are planned in the outline, and the main event with Project Beagle tie-ins and plotlines and all of that is something I'm still planning to end just after S3 because I really do want to have a finish line for that, and I feel like dragging that all out for Born Again wouldn't work for the... events that are going to happen, without saying too much. Once that's wrapped up, that's when you're going to see TRT finally marked as 'complete' on AO3, though there'll be more fics set in that universe (see special additional arcs and oneshot arcs) that I'll mark as in the Devil and Hound series along with drabbles on tumblr.

Once we're past that official endpoint and those special arcs, though, things get fluid and murky since when I was outlining all the major plotlines, there was no Daredevil: Born Again, nor was Matt even in the MCU officially (which is why Spider-Man pops in way sooner in TRT than he meets Matt in the MCU) and I specifically set up Jane's plotline to bookend with Matt's so their growth twined together and they both finally found peace around the same time. Outside that, I'd planned some shorter chaptered stories in the series post-mainline TRT like the Snap arc that I may now adjust (since it sure is looking like Matt was left behind for the snap) but nothing on the level of TRT's main plotline which is absolutely massive and took me years to fully outline and construct before coming back from hiatus in 2021 and pumping out chapters (Happy six year anniversary to TRT on Sept 15!).

ALL THAT BEING SAID.

I do have plans to write stuff for TRT's take on Born Again because I'm 100% married to writing for Matt at this point and there's no possible way I won't want to do something once I'm being fed Charlie!Matt scenes again. I'm not sure what those plans are just yet - I kinda wanna wait and see what happens in Born Again in case it sparks something. But I also want to make sure that no matter what I do, there's some sort of strong original plotline so that, much like mainline TRT, we'll be able to weave in and out of canonical events (especially since things like the Snap or a wedding or Jane and Matt's friendship with Peter will alter canon). I don't think I'm going to do something quite as huge as TRT's main plotline again, mostly because it takes a TON of time and work, and I'm planning to take the original TRT elements and morph them into an original series fit for publishing (different enough that I can leave TRT up for everyone to read, cause at this point the fic's part of DD fandom culture and I have no plans to take that away) which will also take a ton of time. But I'm definitely rattling my brain around, looking at different plotlines I could do knowing what I know about the ending, hunting for loose ends or canonical threads that I can weave in with TRT's world and create something new!

Then again, I never would have said I'd make something as massive as TRT before I started, either, so who knows.

So in short: YES, there will be TRT events for Born Again even if it's not as elaborate as TRT! I just have no idea what those will be yet. Fortunately, TRT mainline's only a little over halfway done so I've got time to plan!

#the red thread #daredevil: born again #if authors and characters are sometimes like marriages then me and matt and jane have rings #all of the mainline stuff i had was basically planned to wrap up just after season 3 and that's still going to happen #with additional but much shorter chaptered fics planned to explore MCU events through a TRT lens #as well as some domestic fluff stuff and exploring what their relationship looks like as the MCU moves forward #so I was always planning to do *something* in a way #but honestly i didn't expect for there to be a born again #and certainly not as much stuff with matt as is happening #so i didn't really have anything SUPER huge planned unless a movie did something big that sparked an idea (think the snap)#and now i'm like OH MY GOD THE SHOWS THERE WILL BE SO MUCH #and i have a feeling i'll have a lot to work with that might stir some creativity!#it just probably won't be as elaborate as TRT cause gd i love it but it's a ton of work #and i want to get a variation of it published which will also be work since i need to change a mountain of details #but yes i do plan to write stuff for born again set in the TRT universe! just need to see what gets sparked unless i bump into something #that inspires a plotline #a bit like i did with the idea of red threads

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trainsinanime · 7 months

Note

for the dvd commentary ask game: Willing to Help

i can submit a whole fic if it’s less than 500 words, right?

Sure, thank you for asking! For context, the story is Willing to Help, and this is the ask game.

Willing to Help is part of a small set of stories, scenes and incorrect quotes that I originally published right here on Tumblr, originally without a title. Over the years I’ve added them (I think all of them) to Ao3 so I and others can easily find them again long after they’ve been lost to the depths of the dashboard. The original is here; as you can see I added a bit more description.

As such, the story is deliberate simple, really just one basic thought and punchline, both part of the list of ML ideas I always find funny:

Adrien is so in love with Marinette even though he doesn’t fully realize it. He might not say he’s in love with her, but given half an excuse he’d marry her instantly. So let’s give him an excuse!

The reason why Marinette has to get married is a list of over the top silly and familiar tropes that don’t make any sense and don’t belong together, because that makes me laugh. It doesn’t actually matter, so this is a great opportunity to get silly with it. I’m always a big fan of implying parts of the story and letting the readers fill in their own imagination, especially for such short stories.

And of course it doesn’t matter at all, Adrien didn’t need any of the excuse, just hearing that she wanted to marry was enough to set him off. Because our sweet fool knows not that he’s in love with her, but he understands that he loves her.

The punchline is again from my bag of favorite tropes: Kagami also loves Marinette. I know not everybody likes that, I have received negative comments (well, one, to be precise) about how often I make either outright Marigami (or Adrigaminette) stories or tease them… but yeah, I’m not gonna stop, I have way too much fun with that.

What else? Alya is really just a sounding board to get the plot rolling. Sorry, I love her, she deserves better, but having Adrien overhear a discussion between Marinette and Alya is a really efficient way to get a Marinette-centric Adrinette plot to happen. They’re literally right behind him in the classroom, it’s bound to happen sooner or later.

The Ao3 version also makes an “Adrien comes out of nowhere” joke that the show loved to do.

My main issue with the story is the title. The Tumblr post didn’t have or need a title, and I don’t like the one I chose, because it’s too generic. I am having real trouble telling “Willing to help” and “How do you help a good friend?” apart (and the letter from “Let’s talk about that”), and I wrote the damn things! So that’s something I hope I can improve on for future stories. Attack of the Crystal Zombies may not be the best title ever or the best story ever, but at least I can remember which one it is.

Thank you for asking, writing this was fun!

#miraculous ladybug #I’ll send you a reciprocal ask later no time right now message me if I forget

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penny-anna · 8 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @evilwickedme, thank you!

How many works do you have on ao3?

uhh okay let's see!! *pulls up statistics page* I have 419 works on ao3!

what’s your total ao3 word count?

as of right now: 1,429,463. shut up.

What fandoms do you write for?

i'm usually a 1 fandom at a time gal but currently i'm writing for BTTF and Shazam and less frequently for the Witcher and Lord of the Rings!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

in descendign order:

New Monster Stories (6803 kudos)

the world won't wait until you're older (4700 kudos)

The Price of a Touch (4245 kudos)

Somebody to Love (3629 kudos)

Tender, like a soft new sapling (3277 kudos)

at this point i've accepted that i will never experience the highs of the 2020 witcher fandom ever again

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

SO i used to respond pretty frequently but then i spent a while writing in a very very tiny fandom where every single comment was cherished & i got out of the habit of replying bcos in my mind once i've replied to a comment it's 'finished' so living them unreplied to meant i could enjoy them for longer. and then i got out of the habit!! these days i tend to only reply if i have something to say but i am grateful for all of them <3

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

im not gonna link any of them but in my Merlin days i did write multiple fics about my OT3 killing each other. im fine thank you for asking.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

huh i feel like this is harder to measure than the above?? hmmm. scrolling back through my recent-ish works, it isn't kind is pretty unabashedly fluffy.

Do you get hate on fics?

ehhh i've had some rude comments but i wouldn't say hate

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

these days not so often!! have ended up in a string of found family type fandoms. but yeah i got uhh 65 fics rated E on the ao3. most of them are m/m occasional f/f or f/m.

Do you write crossovers?

im more into fusions which is a different thing! but have on occasion written crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah actually, had a fic taken once by someone who was habitually translating fics into a different language & posting them without acknowledging the original. i think they got reported but i don't really remember who it shook out!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah quite a lot of times! u can see translations of my fics on ao3 here. disproportionately russian? i assume there's just a lot of russian fic translators out there!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NOT for 1 million years but yes i have

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

hmmm my go to answer for this is usually two/jamie so that's what im going with

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i'm actually still sitting on a second doctor wip that at this point i think is a lost cause. i sent the opening scene (fake out character death lol) to some people on discord a while ago just to torment them.

What are your writing strengths?

i'd like to think dialogue!!

What are your writing weaknesses?

basically all forms of description tbph

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

im monolingual so i don't think i'd do this without assistance from a native speaker. i've actually published (like, professionally) a piece of fiction w some dialogue in another language and to my eternal gratitude some of my tumblr followers assisted me with the translation <3

First fandom you wrote for?

lord of the rings, when i was about 12

Favorite fic you’ve written?

of all time??? GOD. okay. first thought best thought the world won't wait until you're older.

ok uhh i will tag @uighean @limerental @a-kind-of-merry-war @megamindsupremacy

✌️

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asexual-fandom-queen · 2 months

Text

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

I was tagged by @nixie-deangel to do fanfic writer 20 questions, so let's dive in! Tagging @42wallaby-way-sydney @fatherofthebride @coldtomyflash to participate, if they are so inclined.

How many works do you have on AO3? 72

What's your AO3 word count? Just shy of 366,000

What fandoms do you write for? I started out doing most of my writing for The Flash/Arrowverse, but most recently have moved on to writing primarily for Stranger Things, Ted Lasso, 9-1-1, and Teen Wolf

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Turn And Face The Strange (Stranger Things, Stoncy) 2. All On The Line (9-1-1, Buddie) 3. Givin' Yourself to Me Can Never Be Wrong (The Flash, Coldflashwave) 4. Hands On Me (I Think I Wanna Let It Happen) (9-1-1, Buddie) 5. House Like a Homecoming (Stranger Things, Poly Monster Hunters)

Do you respond to comments? I do! I kinda never shut up about how important comments are to a fandom's ecosystem, so when I get them, I answer back!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't usually end fics in full angst mode, but maybe the fic with the most bittersweet ending is Unfair. It's a SethKate (From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series) fic set in the aftermath of a sex pollen situation that leaves them both hurt and vulnerable. But there's still that nugget of hope, because they're hurt and vulnerable together.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? If I'm going for not just pure fluff factor, but how satisfying the happy ending is in the context of the rest of the fic/the source material, I would say Maybe We'll Get Forty Years Together which is a Jamie/Keeley/Roy future fic set during their wedding where Jamie has a chance to hash things out with his father.

Do you get hate on fics? Every once in a blue moon. I write a lot of polyships, and sometimes those polyships are an amalgamation of two sides of a ship war, and people have opinions about that lol. But generally, no.

Do you write smut? What kind? Sure do! I'd say it's what I write primarily. Generally, I write smut with feelings, or angsty smut. Sometimes it's definitely just smut for smut's sake though, which is also fun! I'm a big supporter of being horny on main.

Do you write cross-overs? I don't. The closest I've gotten is writing an AU based on another tv/show. I don't dislike them in principle, I've just never written one myself.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes! Someone stole Taste of Your Lips (I'm On A Ride) and changed it from the original pairing of Zari/Amaya from Legends of Tomorrow to a Lauren/Camilla RPF and posted it on Wattpad. I'm very grateful to the person who messaged me on Tumblr to let me know, because the thief did take it down when I confronted them about it.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have, and it's really cool to have been asked. My Buddie fic Exploration has been translated to Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not exactly. I was part of a multi-creator rewrite for season 2 of Legends of Tomorrow, which involved re-plotting and re-drafting as a group, so you could technically count Episode 2: Crisis and Faith.

What's your all-time favourite ship? I'm actually gonna have the dumbest answer for this question because it's a ship I've never written for, probably never will, and don't even really read, but it's Frank Castle and Karen Page from Daredevil/The Punisher. Their dynamic is just exactly what I want out of a ship. No notes.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have an Abby/Buck/Eddie fic that's on permanent hiatus that I almost certainly will never finish, especially because, in working on it, it started to splinter off a lot of ideas and dynamics and scenes I actually want to use for an original novel someday, so I don't see myself ever completing it. I would like to finish that novel though lol.

What are your writing strengths? I think I always feel most proud of my characterization being pretty on point, and I get enough comments to that effect that I don't think I'm just making that up. I also think I'm good at writing in small details that seem minor but make an impact.

What are your writing weaknesses? I fizzle out! I don't have good stamina to go back to something if it's gonna take me more than one sitting to write, which is why most of my stuff falls in the 2-4k range. I also lose steam without feedback and encouragement. My educational background is in creative writing, and I've been a long-time member of fandom, plus part of writer's groups even before then, so the idea of writing being a solitary thing is kinda wild to me.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? To each their own for this. For me, personally, I'll use a word or a very small sentence I'm reasonably confident is correct in a fic, but for longer sentences, I would write in English and just indicate it was said in another language in the dialogue tag. Plus, even if it was a language I do speak fluently like Frech, it doesn't mean readers do, so I think English is still the way to go.

First fandom you wrote for? So, if we're talking first fic ever, we have to go back to when I was five and six years old and I would make little "books" out of folded index cards where I'd write stories about Sailor Moon or Cardcaptors. My first fic on the Internet was back in my FF.net days, and it was a Kyoya/Haruhi fic for Ouran High School Host Club. My first fic on AO3 was actually a multi-chapter Sterek fic that was never completed and that I've since taken down. The oldest fic of mine you can still find posted on AO3 is a multi-chapter Coldflash fic We Could Keep Things Just The Same, the first chapter of which was posted on February 24th, 2016!

Favourite fic you've ever written? I still feel like I've never topped There's a Menace In My Bed; Can You See His Silhouette. There are some edits I might go back and make with my extra eight (EIGHT!?!) years of writing experience, but the core of what that fic accomplishes? The delicious angst? The emotional minefield of dubious consent/sex pollen/fuck-or-die? The smut as character study? The caretaking? This just hit on a lot of things I like, and I'm really proud of it even all these years later.

#ask meme #tag game #about me #fanfiction #writer

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litany-writes · 5 months

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questions game!!

tagged by @songsofsomnia <3, keeping open tags :D

putting my responses under the cut bc ik i'm gonna ramble lol

(answering this one about Pulse Point, my sci-fi wip!)

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war) and why did you choose it?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what the overarching lesson is. I think as I start actually writing more of the narrative (as opposed to just planning + writing snapshots of scenes), It'll be more clear? but some main themes, at least for specific characters, are dealing with grief, burnout, and attachment.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your world-building (e.g. real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites)?

oh man i have sooo many small things. some governments/cultural groups have IRL inspiration, a lot of the characters are based off of myself or people that I know, and I have an entire save folder on instagram of cool things i want to include somehow, not to mention pinterest boards.

3. What is your main character trying to achieve, and what are you as the writer trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

As of rn, I'm set up to have multiple main characters, and i'm not suuuper hyped on how i've fleshed out all of their motivations/plot importance, but the main conflict of the story is trying to prevent a cold war from escalating. mainly, i just want to write it to prove to myself that i can, and hopefully make characters that people can relate to, enjoy reading about, and grieve :)

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

I. well. hmm. at the moment, looking at like the entire stretch of plot that i could theoretically write about, it's like. multiple books, possible. definitely at least 20 for the immediate plotline ???? I've never finished any of my long-form writing projects so i really have no clue!

5. Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

original content all the way. I don't even know if i'm going to end up posting it (or where) because I don't know if I'll finish it! i'd like to, though, and if i do it'll either be free to read on my ao3, or i'll try and get it actually published.

6. When and why did you start writing?

i really don't know. I've kind of always been writing? When I was pretty young, i started writing down my dreams/daydreams because they were very vivid and I wanted to keep the details straight on their plotlines and characters. Started writing to post back in like 2021 with some fanfics for an old fandom.

7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of Tumblr? What other writeblrs do you follow?

heck yeah two cakes!! that's the writing mentality i'm taking into 2024. Also, if you think it's bad and don't want to post it, just remember that there is without a doubt something much worse than that being posted by someone that fully believes they're the next shakespeare. you're fine. trust me.

blank copy:

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war) and why did you choose it?

What did you use as inspiration for your world-building (e.g. real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites)?

What is your main character trying to achieve, and what are you as the writer trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? —

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

When and why did you start writing?

Do you have any words of encouragment for fellow writers of Tumblr? What other writeblrs do you follow?

#tag games!!#writeblr #writeblr tag games #pulse point #open tags #litany-writes-!

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belethlegwen · 1 year

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February 7th

On February 7th, 2022, I opened up a google doc.

It was roughly two weeks after a pretty nasty anniversary, and while I had done a lot of healing over the previous year, the anniversary had come and gone with a mixed bag of feelings (and a very very large cake just for me).

There was a lot I wanted to process, but mostly I just... wanted an escape. I wanted comfort. I wanted to create a world that could give me that.

So I started writing.

The Stranding turns 1 year old today. As of the time of writing this (6:22pm January 31st, 2023), the original document is 450 pages and 200,613 words long and currently mid-scene as I take a break to get some thoughts out.

When I started writing it, I never had any goal of posting it anywhere. It was just me, taking a couple of characters that had lived in my head for years and the story I had vaguely pieced together, and getting them onto a page that I could come back to and fiddle with or just read over and over again to give myself some kind of catharsis.

A week later, I uploaded the first 5 chapters to AO3.

Twelve days after that, I opened a new google doc, and started writing The Rescue.

When I had decided to actually post what I had been working on, I did it with the thought that if it gave one person something to read, something to enjoy, that fit a niche that they had been looking for, that I'd be happy. That if ONE PERSON could find what I did, what I put effort into, and knew that they could find something they liked without having to create it all for themselves, I'd have done immense good.

Both The Stranding and The Rescue are sitting on AO3 right now with thousands of views, hundreds of kudos, and dozens of comments from people who found something I started making just for myself and liked it enough to let me know. To keep coming back.

I came to this website to find people who liked the same things I did, and I found them, and they liked what I did almost as much as I liked what they did, and that has blown me away. I've made incredible friends, wonderful connections. People have chatted with me about their own creative endeavors. I've gotten Fan Art of my characters and stories, for god's sake... there's a piece of Henry and Melanie in the bath because something I wrote just for me-- selfishly and indulgently-- resonated with someone else enough that they made fanart of it. (Thank you so much Alex, I love you to bits).

I never would've thought I could've written 100,000 words. I never would've believed I could've written 200,000. Today, across my works and shorts and the unpublished pieces/chapters/arcs I have in my google drive, I have almost half a million words written.

In less than a year.

I never would've thought that right now I would (should be, anyway, I'm scheduling this a week out so knock on wood) be part way through my flights to the states to visit the most amazing person I have ever had the joy of getting to know, even just a little. All because in July, they sent me a message on Tumblr to let me know they liked what I wrote. What I shared.

Last year I let myself be unrestrained. I let myself do what I wanted to do, with no care for anyone else beyond that I was doing no harm. I shared myself in a way I had never truly shared myself before; I opened my heart so wide that light got into basically every crack and crevice and landed on every single flaw and scar.

And today?

Today I'm gonna get to smooch @adjacentperception

Happy Anniversary to the most ridiculously impactful decision I ever made. <3

[Update] Flights delayed BUT it's still gonna happen, just later now

#Belle rambling #The Stranding #The Rescue #Happy Anniversary Mel & Henry #g/t #giant/tiny #giant tiny #g/t author #g/t writing #gtauthor #author thoughts #gt #big little thoughts #The Smoochaggedon begineth

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a-second-chance-su-au · 2 years

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Final Post.

You read the title. I won't be continuing A Second Chance anymore. Below the cut, I explain what the plot was gonna be.

I plan on stepping away from SU as a whole now. The only thing I want to finish is Half a Puppet, which you can read on AO3. ((This is absolutely my. best work, I am super proud of it. Pearl's chapter is my magnum opus at the moment. If anything, please go read that lol.))

Thank you everyone for supporting the blog. This was fun, and it got me though COVID and a lot of 2021. I love you all a lot.

I am still active on Tumblr. I am hyperfixated on Cuphead right now, and run the @cuphead-contract-au blog. I am also working on an original project I eventually want to make into a real animated TV show called Follychromatic. You can follow my journey there. @follychromatic.

Thank you all for everything.

Basically, her thing with Connie was because Rose and Greg had been the same right before Greg made Rose go away. She doesn't want the same to happen to Steven.

Pink yelled at her and banished her. This is why she hates Pink, but loves Rose. She joined the rebellion because of that. Reread the intro bit, Rose knew what she had to do.

Spinel would learn to grow more mature and compassionate about the people around her. She would learn what a healthy relationship looks like and strive to have that with everyone. She makes up with Connie, and they become good friends.

In Future, she winds up teaching the gems how to play games. Her sole episode would be about trying to get Steven to relax, similar to Snow Day but not a replacement. It would happen closer to Mr Universe, maybe before the trip but after Steven realizes he has trauma. She'd see how down he is and try to take his mind off of things, which we realize does not work.

Stop there if you would like. Below is a long, long, LONG post, full of the ENTIRE timeline all the up through Season 4. This is copy+pasted from the google doc I had, and incomplete.

...

The full, uncut timeline, following Spinel on her journey! Everything from just single scenes in already-existent episodes all the way to fresh, new content, in chronological order, with all the important stuff, including notes on important visuals and metaphors/symbolism! Timeline starts when Spinel is first created.

17,000 Years Ago

Spinel emerges from her kindergarten.

It was on the planet above the Garden, with the large heart-shaped hole in it

She emerged as her Homeworld-designed self, and immediately recognized Pink and hugged her. Volleyball was present for it.

Pink managed to sneak Volleyball to a couple of playtimes between her and Spinel. The trio was happy, but Spinel never paid much attention to the pearl.

8,000 Years Ago

Volley’s eye cracks.

Pink had been throwing a tantrum at the time and her scream hurt her eye physically

Pink didn’t know about her healing powers before this point, so had no way of fixing it.

She rushed to the other Diamonds, asking if they knew a way to heal her

The Diamonds take Volley away and Pink swears to get better.

Instead of helping, the Diamonds saw that, despite the fact that they GAVE PINK A FRIEND, she still saw her Pearl as one and took her away

This was the moment Pink swore she wouldn’t throw a tantrum again (but note: growth isn’t linear, and yes, she DOES throw a few more first, but that’s later).

A rift is drawn between her and Spinel

Pink likes being equal to others around her, and that was the relationship she had with Volleyball. They were equals in friendship.

That was the only relationship she had like that, so when Volley got taken away, it devastated her

Spinel was created for the sole purpose of serving Pink Diamond, and her friendship is one-way to the point that she doesn’t want Pink to be on equal ground with her. She’s perfectly fine being beneath her, which Pink is highly uncomfortable with.

This is when she started getting annoyed with Spinel, and mostly started going to her to get away from the palace instead of just to play.

Pink starts becoming more mature.

In her quest to A) stop being childish, and thus B) get a colony, Pink knew she needed to grow up. So she began acting more like Yellow and Blue wanted her to.

She wasn’t happy, however, and came to the garden to let loose. She could be as childish as she wanted there.

7,500 Years Ago

Pink is gifted our Pearl

However, she is still throwing tantrums, and at one point, she hurts Pearl during one, causing her to get rejuvenated. Not gonna keep making you Pearls just to get them taken away, Pink.

This causes Pink to never want to use that blasted devise again. She wasn’t aware that it completely reset a gem, just that it erased certain behaviors and memories.

Our Pearl is programmed for no funny business, creating another one-sided relationship that Pink doesn’t want any part of.

Spinel and Pearl met only a few times before the thing happens, but enough that Pearl knows who she is and can remember her later.

6,000 Years Ago (000)

Spinel is left in the Garden

It’s finally paying off. The Diamonds see Pink as one of them (only took 2,000 years, haha!). She’s given Earth as a colony.

However, because the Garden is her place to let loose, she gets extremely annoyed at Spinel for jumping around her like she does. She’s worried they might take her colony away again.

She didn’t mean to forget about her. The way she was always punished was that she was locked in the tower. How is this any different?

Spinel is NOT going to mess this up for her.

Pink comes to Earth

Colonization begins in the Prime Kindergarten

5,850 years ago: (150)

The Amethysts emerge

Pink goes down to Earth with Pearl

They keep sneaking off for about two months before Pink really realizes what it’s doing to the planet

Pink starts trying to persuade the Diamonds to leave the planet alone.

At first, they don’t take her seriously, but when she keeps asking, they start to get annoyed with her. They threaten that this is her colony, she wants it, so if she ever wants to have another, she is to shut it.

Blue is much harsher during this time, and Yellow is a bit softer. Just a tiny bit, though. (Grief changes the both of them)

Coral and Amber approach Spinel and ask her if she wants to play with them. She says no, that she’s already playing with Pink. They insist, having seen that Pink probably isn’t coming back any time soon, but again, Spinel says that Pink wants her to stay still. So that’s what she’s gonna do. The duo retreat into maintaining the garden, but their own worry starts to make the garden run rampant.

5,825 years ago (175)

Blue starts the human zoo

Pink tries to show her life and say that she wants to preserve it.

Blue just kinda rolls her eyes and goes “okay fine” and the zoo is built.

5,800 years ago: (200)

Pink gives up trying to persuade them

Though not entirely, as she does bring it up sometimes.

The Gem War begins

Pink starts leading a double life

5,750 years ago: (250)

Garnet meets Rose and Pearl

Pink starts fighting for gems

Now recruits newly-emerged gems into her army

Rose starts spreading her message

Pink starts to become more isolated, starting rumors about herself

5,650 years ago: (350)

Beta Kindergarten gems are commissioned per Yellow’s request

Rose’s army is now a genuine threat

Homeworld gems start to hear her message and switch, or fear her, depending on what they hear

5,600 years ago: (400)

Coral and Amber try again to get Spinel to move, but she insists that she’s okay where she is.

5,500 years ago (500)

Jasper and the other Betas emerge

There is a massive battle at the Beta Kindergarten as Jasper starts her path of destruction

Word of it gets to Rose, but she’s too late to get there. Jasper took out almost all the Crystal Gems stationed at the Beta Kindergarten.

5,400 years ago: (600)

Eyeball arrives on the battlefield with seven other Rubies, responsible for aiding Pink Diamond as extra muscle around her area

Pink likes to keep her Rubies as far from her as possible, just from the discomfort they bring (and because they make it hard for her to sneak off)

5,375 years ago (625)

Rose and Pearl come across a human child all alone

This reminds Rose of Spinel

She gets her and brings her to Earth

Spinel stood in the garden for about 625 years

Coral and Amber are left behind without a second thought

Two years later, Pink banishes her

Spinel becomes a Crystal Gem

5,300 years ago (700)

The whole thing with Bismuth goes down

Rose doesn’t have Lion by this time, so she stores the bubble away in Bismuth’s forge instead

Spinel is devastated, but not enough to poof herself.

She knew Bismuth for about 75 years.

5,250 years ago (750)

Spinel and Eyeball meet on the battlefield, though nothing too interesting happens. Eyeball gets her pinned at one point, which is really hard to do, but it ultimately ends in a draw

5,200 years ago (800)

Spinel meets Jasper on the battlefield, resulting in a showdown. Spinel is terrified of Jasper’s power and strength, and runs from her. There’s a chase as she and some of her close friends flee.

She makes a huge choice and decides that they can’t run forever, and to save her friends, she turns to face Jasper herself.

The two fight, with Spinel actually doing okay, but she winds up getting poofed

She would have been shattered, but 7TH and 7TP rush in. One throws her gem to the bushes while they fight, resulting in getting poofed. Jasper decides to keep them for information, and can’t find Spinel’s gem.

Spinel reforms and rushes off to the CG base in tears, only to learn that her friends sacrificed themselves to save her.

She swears that she will get them back, and she and Jasper shall meet again.

5,150 years ago (850)

Pink “shatters”

Spinel feels grief even though she knows well that Pink abused her. Pearl has a talk with her about the whole thing, and Spinel feels better, knowing there’s someone else who misses her too. (BUT REMEMEBER THE GAG ORDER)

Immediately, the Homeworld gems start a plan to shatter every Crystal Gem, with new intel from a rebel on a potential place their base may be.

A huge battle takes place, drawing all gems on Earth to it

Yellow comes down in a ship and starts work on the Cluster, heading to the Prime Kindergarten to issue the experiments immediately, while there are no witnesses

Blue follows her, and the two have a confrontation with each other

Yellow wins the argument, and Blue reluctantly agrees, leaving in her ship after grabbing a few more humans for the zoo (to remember her by)

The Crystal Gems are victorious

5,100 years ago (900)

The Cluster’s plantation is completed

Yellow slips back off the planet under the cover of night

5,000 years ago (1,000)

The Homeworld gems flee

Premature celebration happens

Spinel was hugging Pearl in joy when Rose grabbed Pearl, saving Spinel from the attack too

The Diamond Attack blasts the Earth and corrupts the gems

The war is over… for now.

4,500 years ago (1,500)

Amethyst emerges

1975

Greg is born

1997

Greg meets Rose Quartz (22 years old)

2001

Steven is born

Rose “dies”

This is the event that drives a rift between Spinel and Amethyst. Spinel was greedy for all of Rose’s attention there at the end, but her respect for Pearl and for Garnet as leader allowed them to get close to her. However, she literally pushed Amethyst away during that time, and because of that, Amethyst’s time with Rose was reduced from what it could have been. From then on, Amethyst holds a grudge against Spinel, and she retaliates since trying to make it up to the little Quartz failed.

2009

Steven (8) moves in with the gems

August 15, 2013

Steven turns 12 years old, the age he is at the start of the show

SEASON 1

Spinel’s arc starts in “Bubble Buddies,” in which Spinel is jealous of Connie

Man of the Mountain

Spinel feels she and Steven are drifting apart, and decides to try and get close to him again. They play in her room in the Temple, sending Steven off on a quest as a knight (which can be played on when Connie steps into that role irl). During it, things go too far and she has to rescue Steven. They had fun, though, and he confirms for her that they’re still close.

Giant Woman

Not worthy to make an entire ep out of, but basically, Spinel CAN go with Garnet to get the Earth Beetle. Spinel can swim in lava, just not for as long as Garnet can. She’s meant to be backup.

So Close

After “Giant Woman,” Steven stages another adventure to try and get Amethyst and Spinel to fuse, too, just like what happened with Pearl and Amethyst, but spoiler alert, it doesn’t happen. Instead, we learn that their arguments started when Steven was born, which kinda begins his self-blame and awareness of his family’s tensions even more so than “Giant Woman,” wherein he was mostly focused on himself rather than his family getting along. “Emotional hell” episode.

Steven the Sword-Fighter

Spinel grabs Pearl’s gem before it hits the ground with her elastic abilities, and basically stands vigil by it while waiting for her to reform. She sasses Holo-Pearl, insulting her, and in this scenario, Spinel is the one to accidentally start a fight with the thing. Steven, not wanting another family member to get hurt because of it, tries to help out and ultimately defeats the hologram. Spinel remained by Pearl’s gem the whole time, though attacked from a distance. Once Pearl reforms, Spinel hugs her and doesn’t stop until sometime after the star has crossed the screen and ended the episode.

This Just In

Just a fun one. :)

Parody of Scooby-Doo! Spinel starts narrating everything and breaking the fourth wall while she does it, too, creating drama (and giving a reason for the title to be just that).

Mirror Gem

Spinel walks in on Steven setting up a school and gawks, asking why he would want to do that? She went to school back in the 1930’s and it was terrible. When Pearl suggests the mirror, Spinel is just as in awe of it as Steven, showing that she doesn’t know what it is. She is with the two of them all day, and is delighted to find a friend in the “defective” mirror. When Steven wants to tell the gems, Spinel insists that it’s a bad idea, but poor Season 1 Steven doesn’t pick up on her nervousness and tells them anyway. As things tense, Spinel runs to Pearl, trying to tell her that it’s okay, the mirror isn’t a threat, but all this does is separate her from Steven when Garnet tries to take the mirror from him. He runs out alone, and all the gems run out to try and find him. Same plays out as he sets Lapis free. She then yells at the OG3 for knowing she was in there, but not letting her go. She offers Steven and Spinel to go “home” with her, which Spinel knows what she means and refuses. She offers instead to have Lapis stay on Earth, where they’re safe from Homeworld’s cruelty. Lapis refuses, tells them both not to trust the OG3, and walks into the ocean. Spinel is hurt that they didn’t mention Lapis to her, but doesn’t say anything (for fear of what happened between her and Pink).

Secret Team

As Steven, Pearl, and Amethyst run around the Temple fixing their mistakes, Steven stumbles across Spinel. She asks what he’s doing, to which Steven responds “nothing!” and keeps searching. Spins is suspicious, but again, says nothing. She hears Garnet’s speech at the end, though, and realizes that they were keeping secrets from her again.

Left Behind

Spinel calls everyone together, and says she knows everyone is keeping stuff from her. She inquires what that might be, and when no one speaks up, decides to create her own. She enlists Steven’s help, and together, they start creating secrets to keep from the gems. It escalates until it’s just Amethyst, though (as Garnet has future vision and Spinel just can’t do that to Pearl), and Amethyst is aware of it. She calls Spinel out, the others telling her that she has to stop, and she confesses that she feels betrayed because of the whole Lapis thing, then the Secret Team thing. Garnet tells her in her most gentle voice that Spinel couldn’t handle that kind of information, to which Spinel realizes that they don’t trust her. She runs off. Garnet tells Steven she’ll bounce back and get over it, but he follows her anyway. He finds her, just in time to hear her sing about feeling left out in the group. He walks up to her and tells her he feels the same way, and that if she wants to be with them, she’s just gotta try harder. That’s what he does. Spinel agrees, and the ep ends on a bittersweet note.

Fusion Cuisine

Zoisite is teased, as when Steven tries to bring his whole family, that means Spinel too, but because of Amethyst’s and Spinel’s tense relationship, the fusion fails. Instead, she’s left behind again (as Connie mentioned nothing about a sister…), and Alexandrite goes instead. Then it plays out the same way.

Warp Tour

In a bout of pure betrayal Spinel ultimately sides with the Gems instead of Steven, singling him out from the group. She agrees Steven is being silly. However, she stays with him as he stays up, trying to get him to take his mind off stuff. He refuses, and she gives up, heading back into the Temple. If he wants to play, he’s welcome to. Just give a knock. Then it plays out the same way.

The Test

Spinel’s room features a few funky, funny, not-quite booby traps. A cage comes down and nearly traps him (though like the spikes in Garnet’s room, would stop before it actually hit or trapped him), he has to jump around on a few platforms out of the reach of what looks like octopus tentacles, and then he lands in a ball pit after jumping off the platform. Finally, it’s a riddle to guess which door was correct, to which there are three doors, meaning three answers. Each door leads out, but Spinel makes it seem like there’s a pitfall trap in front of each to make it matter. Steven gets the answer right (the answer being a rabbit), and moves on to Garnet’s room. During the gem’s talk, Spinel insists that giving him an actual win would be a lot better, but Pearl states instead that this would work the same way. As long as he can do this, it’ll raise his confidence. Spinel agrees with Amethyst’s assessment of “we’re bad at this,” and the conversation goes the same way, as does the episode.

The Mountain Spire

After the episode “Horror Club,” Garnet discovers that due to two simultaneously occurring “earthquakes,” two Gem structures are bound to collapse. She and Amethyst take one, Pearl and Spinel take the other. Steven insists on coming along, and Garnet allows it. While walking, we see bird and rabbit imagery, as Steven goes on about how the last two times they were on an adventure like this, Opal happened! The other time, though, Amethyst and Spinel fought. But if Opal happened, then there was a chance something could happen this time, too, right? They arrive at a tall structure with pieces falling collapsing more by the second; the Mountain Spire. They have to replace to Sun Goddess statue, which was already up there. Steven’s now getting some flashbacks to a different adventure he was on, and now is determined to make sure he doesn’t mess this one up, too! Not a second time!

Spinel repeatedly runs ahead, appearing to be playing, when in actuality, she’s clearing the coast for Steven and Pearl. She constantly looks for Pearl’s approval. Pearl gets progressively more annoyed. Finally, she confronts Spinel about her behavior, stating that she doesn’t like the clinginess she’s been showing. It looks like it’ll escalate, but Spinel doesn’t try to argue with Pearl at all. She admits that she’s attached to her, maybe more than she should be, but that’s because she respects her. When Spinel was lost, who picked her up and showed her a home with the Crystal Gems? Pearl. She had always believed in Spinel, and Spinel just feels good being around her and being there for her. Pearl says she had no idea, and admits that she maybe has been a bit harsh on her lately, and they both come to peaceful understanding without Steven’s help. (Note: Spinel and Pearl are both lesser gems, and they can connect using that, too. Try to hint at that if possible.)

Climax: the statue has fallen, and the top of the spire is collapsing. The statue is about to fall through the floor (with many many many holes in it), and Spinel can’t reach that far without getting a bit wobbly, so she doesn’t want to risk reaching for it and causing it to fall. They need to be more careful. Spinel and Pearl fuse into Lepidolite. She is agile, stretchy, careful, and self-sacrificial to a fault. She leaps in, bouncing across the room and grabbing the statue before anything can happen to it. Then, the ground shakes again and the floor beneath Steven caves, causing him to fall. She catches him, but only just. She is stretched too far now (as her stretchiness isn’t as much as Spins on her own), and has to make a choice. A vacuum just like the one around the Sea Spire sucks Steven down, making her lose her grip on him, and she makes the decision to go for him rather than the building. She pulls, tossing him up and onto safe land, then falls. She tosses the statue back up to him, and he has to put it back. Once he has, the spire fixes itself, and Lepidolite is saved. She brings Steven down to her level (since they’re going down now), and jokes about the place being a fixer-upper, before unfusing. The three gems head back, mission successful.

Garnet and Amethyst were also able to fix their building, but their victory is short lived as Steven starts gushing about the fusion he saw. Pearl and Spinel smile at each other. Together, they are pretty great, huh?

Frienemies

After “Maximum Capacity.” Another episode to progress Spinel’s relationships with Connie and Amethyst. Connie comes over for the day, and Spinel insists that she hang out with them, too. Everything Connie does is “wrong,” and she leaves in a huff. When Steven offers to play video games with Spinel and Amethyst, the two start bickering with each other. A few days later, Connie comes back over and Steven tries to push Spinel away, but the gem refuses to leave the two alone. Connie confronts her, asking what he problem is. Connie has never done anything to Spinel before, right? We find out that Spinel has made it her mission to be Steven’s best friend, since that was Rose’s final request of her before she died, and both Amethyst and Connie are “getting in the way.” Connie sees through it and notes Spinel’s jealousy, insisting that he is still his own person, too. Spinel tries to retaliate, but Steven stands up for himself, saying anyone can be his friend and Spinel cannot decide that for him. If he’s Spinel’s best friend, cool, but he’s allowed to hang out with other people, too! Spinel is shocked into silence for a moment. All three others come to comfort her, empathizing about wanting a friend (Connie) and missing Rose (Amethyst). When Connie leaves, Spinel gives her an apology and asks if they’re on stable ground. Connie doesn’t know, but it’s a start. She leaves. Spinel smiles and hugs Steven, insisting she’ll try to do better.

The Return

Jasper and Spinel recognise each other. Spinel shakes with rage. Jasper says she’d be interested in taking Spins on again, just for the challenge, but Garnet jumps in before Spinel can answer, demanding Jasper leave this planet. Things mostly play out the same, except when Garnet gets poofed, Spinel acts immediately. She creates the illusion of a battlefield, masking her approach as she attacks from behind. Jasper, however, expects this, and catches her, throwing her into Pearl and Amethyst as they run closer. Jasper then grabs Steven and knocks him out, ending the episode. Jailbreak plays out the same way.

SEASON 2

Crossover Calamity

This would replace the Uncle Grandpa episode! It’s a goofy, non-canon ep in which Spinel and Amethyst visit different SU AUs together, all while fighting.

Starts off with Spinel raiding Amethyst’s room for her timepiece, since she got to keep it in “Steven and the Stevens”. She needs it for a game she’s playing. Amethyst catches her and the two fight over it. It winds up transporting them across dimensions instead of though time, and they wind up in a Steven Universe x Undertale crossover. They meet Steven and Frisk, and when Steven wonders what Amethyst is doing here and doesn’t recognise Spinel, it’s clear they’re not in the same timeline. They have to work together to get back, since the timepiece is cracked.

Next, they visit Bendy and the Ink Machine (since there is officially a crossover with that one now). They walk in on Bendy singing “Welcome Home”, and get attacked by the Ink Demon. They teleport away right as he’s about to catch them, transporting to an equally dangerous situation in a different AU. They run, going through a few more AUs until they wind up in canon SU, during “Other Friends.” They watch Spinel poof the gems, then leave, traumatized.

They end up in front of the Spinel House, where Spinel is instantly drawn to. Henry Stickmin reference! Her options are: Knock, Amethyst, Break In, Remove Layer, or Request Entry.

Knock: Is the correct answer. Spinel knocks on the door and is let in

Amethyst: Reference to Charles! Ames runs off-screen, shapeshifts into a helicopter, and crashes into the building. Fail line: Amethyst, flying in! :D ...You were expecting this, weren’t you?

Break In: Amethyst and Spinel concoct an elaborate plan to break in. It goes successfully, until they land in the middle of the room from crawling through the vents. The Spinels think they’re getting robbed and attack. Fail line: Everyone knows gravity only exists in cartoons when it’s least convenient, c’mon now.

Remove Layer: Animation/drawing joke. A tab is brought up showing all the layers in Ibis Paint, and the layer with the House is turned off. The spinels all stare at Star, and it end in a fail just like that. Fail line: You were supposed to get INTO the house, not make it disappear completely!

Request Entry: Meta joke! I suddenly show up out of nowhere and get pushed into the building to meet the directors and request that Spinel get added to the house. But my social anxiety to talk to them ruins this and I walk back out. Fail line: This is why people typically approach me first.

Back to business. Once Spinel has knocked and is let in, she meets the Spinels! It’s Spinel Hell for Amethyst, and she wants to get out of there as fast as possible. Joke about how the House is a place for Spinels to get away from the cruelty of their actual AU existence, and then ask if Star wants to join. She says no. Spinel asks if it’s possible to repair the timepiece, to which Rejuvenated or Spinny just slaps some duct tape on it and calls it good, sending Star!Spinel and Amethyst back on their way. It works, and they end up back on the beach. Spinel thanks the stars that’s over, and starts to walk off with the timepiece, ready to continue her game. But then Amethyst fights her for it, and they start crashing through several AUs, probably at dramatic/important parts and completely interrupting everything. Their final stand would be in either SU canon or breaking the fourth wall entirely and they exist on Tumblr or other social media accounts. They have a talk while fighting/playing keep-away, and reconcile. They teleport one final time and end back up on the beach. Amethyst decides it’s whatever and lets Spinel play with it, but she gives it back, claiming to not want it anymore. The two wind up dumping it in the ocean.

And that is why Spinel looks like a wreck. She smiles proudly at Steven as she finishes telling her story. He believes her until Garnet warps back in, asking her how training with Amethyst went after Ames threw her in the sea with her whip. Spinel groans, insisting Garnet ruined the mood. But then we go into the ocean, only to see that the dimension piece is actually there, at the bottom of the sea…

Optional: Spinel pulls a Genie and pulls up the bottom of the page, saying “Made you look!” Then the credits would roll with all the AUs present/used in the story.

AUs: SU x UT, SU x BATIM, HTTYM, I Am My Diamond, SU-Revived, The Spinel House, lab-raised-steven, White Diamond Steven AU, (maybe Gone Wrong? But make it more like a joke than anything serious,) Starhair!Spinel, being-monster-au, su-rogue, restore-the-universe, CHITSU, irl, silent films, SU x GF, SU x TOH, that one gif of Spinel doing the Distraction Dance, Perfect Steven, SU Rewritten, Spinel Goes to Homeworld (“I can’t believe I’m talkin’ ta my reflection-“), Corrupted Spinel, SU x Epic Mickey, plus any and all

M E M E S. Also, potentially foreshadow as much as you want.

wow that was a lot lmao

Sworn to the Sword

Spinel teases Connie about wanting to train, but in a more light-hearted way that before. She is serious as she tries to warn Connie about Pearl’s teachings, insisting that Pearl could go extreme sometimes, but Connie ignores her, insisting it’ll be okay. The rest of the episode plays out the same, except when Spinel finds out Connie fell for Connie’s teachings, she remarks that she tried to tell her, earning her a glare from Steven. “Just sayin’,” she says, shrugging, but her concern is evident. Rest of the ep is the same.

We Need to Talk

Spinel was doing the filming on the tape Greg and the band was recording, and her cinematography (due to her stretchy limbs) is amazing. She gets along with Greg very well, and thinks he and Rose are cute together. She does join Pearl in teasing him, but her teasing is much more light-hearted than Pearl’s salty, “you’re just a phase” teasing. She is Rose’s best friend, and she doesn’t think Greg can change that. At the end of the episode, though, she is fearful that she was wrong, and Rose and Greg might be closer than any of the other gems to her. She and Pearl share a fearful glance.

Time and Place

The gems are on a mission to recover an object somewhere inside a volcano. Spinel goofs off with Steven, and Garnet commands them to stop. This place is dangerous. Steven stops, but Spinel persists, continuing to make faces and perform silly stunts to try and get him to smile. She does a dramatic flip into a stalactite, bouncing off of it and landing in front of Steven with a “tadaa!” The stalactite cracks and falls, blocking the corruption they’re trying to get to away and nearly getting everyone else hurt or poofed. Spinel herself falls into the lava, but climbs back out perfectly fine. Garnet benches her, insisting that she be more responsible and serious, comparing her to Steven and driving a rift between them unintentionally. Afterwards, Spinel tries to show responsibility as things run awry in the house- the house gets messy and she cleans it, the fridge stops running and she plugs it in, the heater was working in overdrive so she shuts it off. It comes to a climax as a corrupted gem, the same one they were after in the volcano, suddenly warps into the house and wreaks havoc. It’s revealed she caused everything, and after the gem is dealt with, Spinel apologizes, saying that hey, at least she dug the guy out of the rock fall! Garnet doesn’t unbench her, though, and insists that she needs to show real responsibility and start taking things seriously. Steven comes over to comfort her, saying that there is a time and a place for this kind of behavior, and the volcano wasn’t it. She nods, accepting that.

Chille Tid

Spinel is still benched, and so was waiting for everyone at the beach house. She stays behind for the slumber party, though Amethyst and Steven have to team up to make sure she doesn’t go in the Temple. This is because, when Spinel starts dreaming, her illusion powers kick in and she starts showing what she’s dreaming. Tonight, she dreams of playing with Rose and Steven both inside her garden (foreshadowing the Rose/Pink reveal). This provides a bit of backstory for her, too. She’s awoken as Rose wilts away like an actual rose, and Steven vanishes. Her feet are wrapped in roots, and she sits up quickly only to see that the others had been watching.

She’s ecstatic to learn that Lapis is okay.

Amends

The gems leave for a mission, but Steven stays behind with the still-benched Spinel. He plans a full day of fun for the two of them! Later, they bump into Greg, who is just off of another hard day of work at the car wash, being kept on his toes recently. To relax, they decide to jam out together. At one point, Steven would ask how often Rose joined him (knowing that she’s sung with him at least once) and what she played. Greg responds, saying that she would play and sing with him often. Spinel interjects, commenting that the more she hung out with him, the less she was there for everyone else, and the more lonely Spinel got. She realizes she said that out loud, and dives head-first into apologies, throwing back to some of the things she said in Man of the Mountain (“don’t hate me” and “It won’t happen again” etc). Both Greg and Steven calm her down and ask what brought that on. We now find out that Spinel was abandoned a LOT in the past, but with the CGs, she felt better, but then Greg came along and she started feeling that way again. She hates being alone. She likes him, though, so she never said anything. She tries so hard not to blame Greg- he didn’t know. She never told him, or anyone, since that wasn’t a very nice thing to do and friends are nice to their friends (she’s actually scared of being screamed at like with what happened with Pink). Please don’t hate her? Greg insists that no, he doesn’t, and that he’s sorry he didn’t realize. She’s sorry, too. Steven speaks up, stating that it was really brave of Spinel to tell them that, and to overcome her fear of them thinking less of her or something. He’s proud of her. She smiles at that.

The next day, Greg wakes up late (like, it’s NOON levels of late). He rushes outside to see Spinel doing his job for him at the car wash, and doing it quite well! Steven is there helping her. When asked what’s going on, Spinel states that she still felt bad for what happened yesterday and wanted to do something nice for Greg, so she took over the car wash for the day! She turned off his alarm so he could get some rest, and has been doing a good lot of the washing. She also gave the van itself a wash, and cleaned all the brushes inside. Greg, in awe, thanks her a lot and gives her a hug. He makes an offhand comment about her showing initiative like that, and how that responsibility was something he never expected from her. Garnet agrees, walking up behind them. Upon seeing the maroon gem, Spinel apologizes again for the volcano incident, and promises to do better. Garnet, having seen that Spinel is capable of taking control and responsibility, unbenches her. Spinel doesn’t stop helping Greg, though, and at the end of the day, they all get ice cream together. Fin.

Too Far

Peridot doesn’t know what to make of Spinel, not having ever even heard of her before. We find out she’s one-of-a-kind, built to be a best friend! She likes to be friends with everyone! Peridot states that she and Amethyst don’t get along, causing the pink gem to blush and run off.

Too Close (NEW FORM)

Spinel now tries to be Amethyst’s Best Friend, along with LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE where she can! It gets toxic quickly, and she more or less becomes Amethyst’s more-annoying personal Pearl for the day. Peridot is quick to point this out. Amethyst confronts her about it, and they have one last fight before Spinel finally starts to learn that you don’t have to give your everything in order to be a good friend (and stop pampering them GEEZ). That’s unhealthy. It’s obsessive. It can smother people! She needs to find a better balance! Spinel states that if she doesn’t give everything, then she feels like she’s lacking on her end, that she isn’t doing enough. If she isn’t by her friend’s side all the time, who’s to say they won’t get mad at her, or leave her? Steven points out how exhausted Spinel has become while taking care of everyone so obsessively. Amethyst agrees, stating that she cannot run herself ragged trying to do everything all at once. She insists that she’s okay, that she can keep going. She was built to be a friend, and she’s been slacking on her end. She’s not gonna stop until everyone around her is happy! She’ll prove it! She then runs away to make the Best Day Ever for everyone, but Amethyst chases her down, now determined to make her see sense. She tackles the other gem, telling her that if she truly wanted to be someone’s friend, she needed to calm down, back off, and respect their wishes to have her leave people alone! Spinel poofs, mostly from exhaustion, but also because she’s getting Pink Diamond flashbacks.

When she reforms, she walks up to Amethyst and apologizes. If being a friend means leaving people alone, then that was something she was going to have to work on. Being a friend isn’t gonna be easy, but she can try. Just let her know whenever they need her to leave? Amethyst says she’ll do so, and the two hug it out. While doing so, Spinel asks if they can start over, and try being friends again. Amethyst agrees, saying it’s worth a shot.

SEASON 3

Super Watermelon Island

With Spinel and Amethyst finally getting along, Zoisite can now be formed! The battle with Malachite still happens, but now featuring Spinel’s illusion powers and Lepidolite’s feather duster (for cartoony hyjinx).

Barn Mates

At the end of the episode, Spinel is super happy to finally see Lapis again, but surprising everyone, she doesn’t leap into Lapis’ arms or anything. She instead extends a hand to shake.

Hit the Diamond

Spinel plays referee and pitcher. While doing the lineup, she announces that her name is Sarah, or would Sandy be better? She’s shushed. Later, there’s a throw-away line about how if the CGs don’t win this match, she, Sandy, is quitting. She knows what’s gonna happen and isn’t gonna stick around to witness it. Someone smacks her for breaking the fourth wall.

Too Short to Ride

Spinel stretches out without shapeshifting, which makes Peridot even more upset that she can’t do it. During the shapeshifting part, Spinel becomes a dog and a rabbit, playing a game of chase with Amethyst.

Trapped

After “The New Lars”. The hunt for Jasper continues, but Spinel and Steven take a break to go visit Peridot and Lapis. Steven and Peri hang out for a while before realizing that Spinel and Lapis are gone. They go looking for them, discovering them atop the silo. They’re laughing. Spinel apologizes for the whole mirror thing, saying that she knows what it’s like to be trapped and abandoned for years, too. Lapis says that it wasn’t her fault, it was Homeworld’s. Spinel says she knows that feel, having been the playmate of her old owner before she got left behind like a broken toy. She insists that Lapis had it worse, though, since she was forced to stay in one spot whereas Spinel chose to stay there, forever… Lapis tells her not to compare what they went through. They’re both hurt, and they can connect over it. That’s what’s important, not who had it worse. Spinel gives her a side hug, saying that she’s really glad Lapis is here. Steven and Peri decide to give them some privacy and leave, the other pair being none the wiser they were ever there.

Days pass, and the hunt continues. Pearl asks Steven if he’s seen Spinel, to which he says no. Garnet states that they need to find her and she warps them to the barn. There, Spinel and Lapis are continuing to hang out. Pearl is the first to scold, demanding to know where Spinel has been when they’re trying to find Jasper? Peridot hears this and tries to get Pearl to stop talking, but she doesn’t. That rogue gem is only going to cause trouble! Spinel feels awful, starting to apologize, but Lapis cuts her off. She insists that Spinel is always being left behind anyway, and has to constantly wear a smile to keep morale up, which makes her feel trapped, but here, she doesn’t have to do that! She’s free! She doesn’t have to be anyone’s friend here. So back off and leave her alone! Steven asks timidly if that’s true, to which Spinel nods.

She explains that she’s been trying to keep her distance, like Amethyst asked her to, but she feels like she isn’t being a good friend and is slacking off. That makes her stressed, because she knows her friends don’t want her around, so she kept coming here. She doesn’t have to be friends with Lapis or Peridot- that expectation was never there with them. She’s free to just relax here and get her mind off stuff. She didn’t mean to stay away for so long, but she thought no one wanted her there unless they had work for her to do. How can you be a friend if you stayed away? She had no idea, and it was so, so confusing. Spinel says that she was made to be a best friend to one person, and when that person sent her away, she felt lost. The same thing was happening again, and she didn’t know what to do. f

Lapis explains that she used to be a terriformer, shaping planets for her superiors forever and she wasn’t happy. But now, she feels much more free. Playing mediator, Steven builds on that, and explains that she shouldn’t have to feel like she needs to be friends with everyone. That’s an impossible task. If she needs to force it, then it isn’t friendship, and instead, is more just servitude. Lapis and Pearl both agree. Be friends with who you want. Who do you want to be friends with? Spinel thinks, hesitant to say her answer in fear she’ll make people angry, but everyone insists they won’t be. She says she wants to be friends with Steven, Amethyst, and Lapis for sure. She looks up to Pearl and Garnet, and they’re always gonna be family, and they can stay that way. For now. Everyone (sans Peri) hugs her, proud of her, before Peridot interrupts and announces that if she wants to be friends with Lapis, they’d have to fight over it. It looks like Spinel might fall back on old habits for a second before Peridot laughs, saying she was joking. There’s enough Lapis for both of them. Lapis, embarrassed, flies off. The ep ends as Spinel and Peridot look at each other in confusion, wondering what they said.

Together Again (formerly called “Camping”)

After “Restaurant Wars”. Spinel decides to take her friends camping! Lapis was “busy,” so it was just Amethyst and Steven with her. While out, they discover a corrupted gem, a quartz of some kind. She is a powerhouse and overruns everyone, then won’t leave them alone. The monster is big, and the group is in the mountains, so they slip into a small cave in the mountains where the beast can’t get them. As it walks away, Spinel sees the gem, located on its shoulder- it has a scratch in it. It’s 7TP. Her eyes flash in recognition, and she then tries to take it herself. She winds up pinned beneath the amethyst’s paw. She confesses that she knew the gem from the war, and it was one of her best friends. On the battlefield, the fight that occurred just before everyone was corrupted, 7TP got a scratch across her gem, not deep enough to count as a crack, but deep enough to be recognizable. They have to bubble her, quick! Steven and Amethyst get 7TP off Spinel and fighting ensues, but Spinel can’t bring herself to hurt her old friend now that she can put a face to the monster. Amethyst and Steven can’t take her alone, and at one point Amethyst is thrown down next to Spinel. The two agree that this isn’t working, and they fuse.

Lavender Alexite is a smaller, squishier version of Sugallite, now with 85% less visible muscle! Amethyst’s determination combines with Spinel’s frustration, and both of them together are able to bring the fusion down with their grappling hook-like weapon, tying her up and Lavender herself finishing the corruption off. Spinel bubbles her after Steven heals her, sending her off. Unprompted, she explains that when her old owner decided to get rid of her, 7TP was by her side. She’s been by Spinel’s side for so long. Refueled determination to heal corruption.

Note: Maybe mention 7TH at some point?

Monster Reunion

Spinel is shocked that the corruption could be healed as she was, but gives Steven space to be with Neph. At the end, she asks Steven if she could do that again, to which Garnet says no.

Healing Haze

Spinel goes up to Steven in the middle of the night to wake him up. She tells him that Garnet and the rest of the Gems are out on a mission trying to find Jasper, and they think that she’s exploring the desert. She drags him into the Bubble Room, brings down 7TP, and unbubbled her. Steven, having had no say in this (and was half-asleep until just now), freaks out. As 7TP is reforming, Spinel tells him to heal her before she wrecks the place and they both get in trouble! He does, slapping on some healing spit, and 7TP half uncorrupts. Spinel cautiously approaches, asking if the gem remembers her. She shapeshifts back into her War design, to which the gem now recognizes her. Spinel starts calling her Violet. Violet starts to freak out, realizing she’s been corrupted, and rushes to look at her reflection. She’s shocked and dazed. Spinel calms her down enough to switch the topic over to Steven, gesturing for him to come on over. She introduces them to each other, and tells Violet that things will be okay now. However, just like with Nephrite, Violet eventually recorrupts. Spinel bubbles her again, then thanks Steven, giving him a crushing hug.

The next night, she asks the same thing from him. Seeing Spinel so happy the previous night makes Steven more willing to let the gem out this time, though he still isn’t completely onboard. But, they have fun anyway, until Violet recorrupts again.

They do this again and again, with Steven’s unease growing more and more. This feels wrong, and he tells Connie as much on the phone. Connie tells him that he needs to get Spinel to stop. They bubble those gems for a reason- so they don’t suffer. By letting her out, having her back for a while, only to have her become a monster again, over and over and over… that can’t be good for poor 7TP. What if that has some kind of long-term effects? They need to stop. Besides, getting poofed so many times must hurt, even if Violet does just accept it when the time comes. Steven agrees, and when Spinel inevitably comes up to him the next night, he tells her all that. Spinel is devastated, and tells him to go back to sleep.

He wakes up to Spinel yelling. He looks over and sees 7TP running out of the Temple, fully corrupted, with Spinel tearing after her from behind, waving a cloth. Steven asks what in blazes she’s doing, to which she replies that she took some of his spit while he was sleeping and put it on this here very cloth and she put that on the gem and it didn’t work! She’s still corrupted! Steven gets understandably upset, and now the goal becomes catching Violet, and fast!

They wind up bringing her in through music, with Spinel singing a lullaby to her (a nod to Blue Order). Steven can now heal her, but since she’s already formed, it doesn’t do anything. She’s aware enough to have a conversation with now that she’s calm, though (maybe?) and Spinel apologizes for everything. They poof and bubble her again, for good this time.

When the other gems get back in the morning, they ask what happened to the house. Spinel owns up to her mistakes, and accepts the fact that they’re gonna bench her again. Garnet tells her no- Spinel understood what she did was wrong and learned her lesson. 7TP will be better off in the bubble, for now. Spinel asks about, since Garnet has future vision, why didn’t she stop her from unbubbling Violet so many times? Garnet states simply that Spinel was going to learn her lesson, and this was the only way that she’d truly understand. Just words weren’t gonna work.

Catching Up

After “Alone at Sea,” Spinel decides to do something fun with Lapis just like they did with Peridot. Shorty Squad Assemble, now featuring Spinel and Lapis! They decide to spend a day wherever Lapis wanted to be, which for now, was the barn. Understandable.

Next step, make Lapis a bootleg Funland! They all set up a bunch of fun activities around the barn, including a ring toss, a bean bag toss, a dance floor (with a radio), and water balloons! There’s also a game of baseball if people wanna play.

It’s a cute ep that is filled with fluff until, after a while, Lapis keeps zoning out. Steven, Peri, and Spins all try to keep her distracted, but Amethyst is the one who eventually steps up and tells Lapis to just spit it out. Lapis explains that Jasper has been on her mind, and she appreciates what everyone is doing for her- it has truly been fun- but it’s not working. Everything that happened on the boat is fresh in her mind, and she honestly just wants to be alone while she processes everything. Sorry for being a downer. She flies back into the barn.

Spinel and Steven go after her, though Amethyst and Peridot agree it’s best to leave her alone. The two find her on the top floor, and inch closer. Spinel tells her that she shouldn’t be alone to think about this kind of thing- being alone sucks. They both should know that by now. Steven asks if she wants to talk about it. Lapis says no. She appreciates the sentiment, really, but she needs to figure things out alone. They don’t know what it’s like to battle Jasper constantly, how tiring being stuck with her is. Spinel pipes up, saying that although that’s true, she does know what it’s like to fight Jasper. It was 5,300 years ago. They met on the battlefield, and she nearly got shattered that day. She recounts the story. She never had someone to talk to about it, and she thought that she couldn’t, since she was supposed to be everyone’s friend, their relief. But that’s not how it works. Right? It goes both ways? So don’t be silent.

Lapis says that she just doesn’t want to talk about it. There are things that happened down there that she doesn’t really want anyone to know about, and she wants to keep it down. Though, again, she really appreciates the sentiment. Steven and Spinel leave, then meet up with the guys down below.

They play baseball for a while, two on two, before someone hits the ball super far away. Lapis comes back with it, saying she’ll talk when she’s ready, but for now, let’s just have fun. Ends on a lighter note.

Bismuth

Spinel is almost as happy to see Bis as Pearl! Almost. Her weapon upgrade is a serrated blade. While sparring, Spinel turns on the illusion powers, then bounces around her like a ping pong ball. She attacks from behind, but Bismuth, expecting this, catches her. She shoves Spinel away, making room for Pearl to then come in! The rest is the same. Spinel clings to Pearl when Bis is bubbled away.

SEASON 4

Know Your Fusion

Garnet + Spinel fusion as well? Just for a moment? Pearl could take Sardonyx’s place while she’s gone. Spins would likely point out that she’s never fused with Garnet before, and since we’re meetin’ new fusions anyways, could it be cool to add one more to the roster?

Think more about the idea before declaring it canon. Don’t take away from characters, remember? This might not fit into 11 minutes, or maybe make it double length? Two parter? Think about it.

Return to Mask Island

After “Future Boy Zoltron”, Spinel tells Steven she’s convinced Lapis to hang out with them for a day! Steven decides to take the party to Mask Island, since it’s such a pretty place and would be good for unwinding. Lapis is nervous, since the last time she was here, she was Malachite. Whoops. Steven and Spinel both insist this will be good for her, since she wants to get over her past trauma of being fused with Jasper, and balancing some good memories into the mix of bad will do her some good! Amethyst agrees, so Lapis gives in. Steven tells her that fusion feels amazing, but only with the right people. They make camp, and montage of them having fun and unwinding. Show something slinking in the water.

Eventually, Steven breaks out the s’mores supplies. He and Amethyst really start talking, and they don’t really notice when Lapis and Spinel get up. They run out of crackers, and Amethyst volunteers to get more, only to then notice that half their party is gone. Steven will find them, and Ames runs off.

Four Gems and a Baby

Steven was intended to be Spinel’s new Best Friend so she thinks of him as a fellow Spinel playing a game with them at the moment. Like Ames said, being a baby was fun, so this must be going somewhere. Rose said he was gonna be a friend. So that’s what he was.

Gem Heist

Spinel becomes mute: the misadventure/near shattering :)

That Will Be All

She’s FIIIIIIINE…

Ruby Round-Up

Mission: Find and Locate All Ruby Guards

After “Storm in the Room.” Everyone heads back out into space to see if we can’t find the Rubies. We are able to find Army, Leggy, and Doc before Doc calls the cops on us and a Homeworld ship shows up. We find out more about Gem technology, namely that you can only go a straight line while using the gravity engine, so in theory, the other ship can track them. They need a safe place to hide. Spinel takes over the controls, and she takes them to the solar system with the Garden in it.

The whole time, Army and Doc don’t make it easy to escape. They keep making this harder for them to drive, having broken many parts of the ship in an effort to get it to stall, and the other gems have to leave Spins alone to drive while they make sure the three Rubies don’t cause any more trouble.

They hide the ship behind one of the smaller planets/moons floating there, shutting off the engine to help prevent being tracked/seen. The other ship zips right on past, missing them entierly. They power the ship back on, and land on the centerpiece.

The episode ends with everyone stepping out, and Spinel introducing them to the Garden.

Right Where You Left It

We visit one of the gem’s childhood homes…

Spinel takes on the grand tour of the garden, hoping to find parts and pieces to fix up the Roaming Eye. The three Rubies are put in time-out. We see the inside of the room, where Pink’s Biopoison Injector awaits, along with a line of rejuvenators. We also meet the cautious Coral and the untrustful Amber. Coral is in charge of all the plants, whereas Amber is in charge of making sure the buildings don’t collapse, but they only are supposed to be at work when they’re called. No one has called for thousands of years, and they’re too scared to go investigate. Spinel left a while ago, too, giving them zero reason to go out there. If an elite saw them, they could risk being shattered since no one wants them anymore. Where do useless gems go?

The two wind up telling them about the biopoison, and how it was made just for this garden when Pink finally decided she was done with it forever. The rejuvenators were meant to reset a gem, but Pink decommissioned them after a single use. Yellow has more.

They ask Spinel if she’s back to stay, also where is Pink Diamond? This is where we find out Spins and Pearl belonged to Pink. She’s gone, Spins says, and no, she’s not staying here. Do they want to go with them to Earth? After some thought Coral and Amber decide no- the threat of shattering is really scary, and they can’t fight back. They don’t even have gem weapons. Spinel tells them that she didn’t either, until her friend made her one! She pulls out her scythe. They could come along, too. The Earth is a beautiful place. They agree reluctantly, but then state that they don’t want to be a part of anything; if Earth is a place to be free, then they want to explore, maybe fix up or tidy up some Gem ruins there. Fighting is not an option, and they’re tired of staying in one spot.

The others agree, and Spinel apologizes for not paying them more attention when they were here together. She has a history of only focusing on what she wants to focus on, and ignores everything else. All is forgiven, and it’s back to Earth we go now that the ship is prepared.

The three Rubies manage to escape and warp back to Homeworld...

Making Up

Time to be frens with Connie. Finally. Took ya long enough.

and this is where it stops lmao. cliffhanger.

#a second chance #a second chance su au #asc su au #steven universe #su au #steven universe au #spinel #crystal gem spinel #su au art #steven universe fanart #su fanart #star spinel

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phoenixtakaramono · 1 year

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Hi! I feel a bit bad asking this as I know you are focused on TNotG, but I'm still feeling too feral over Truce (and was trying to find previews here and couldn't), but how is that going? Ah, I also read your twitter threads, and loved both the Fix-it AU and the Sugar Baby AU (both are so good, so in character, and the way it's written from HL's POV makes it so intriguing, his choices, how he thinks about Billy, how he pretty much obsesses (which is very true for him!) Sorry for the ramble

Hullo, hullo~! With all your usernames, I'm not sure which one to use, dear reader, so since this was sent over on tumblr with this account, I shall refer to you with this moniker ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) but feel free to let me know if you prefer something else!

Chapter Previews for Truce

So fun fact regarding previews of ch3 (and ch4) from Truce: you're right; they don't exist here on tumblr. This was before I'd realized the butch/lander community is also active here on this platform as well, so under that mentality I'd mostly just tweeted screenshots of ch3 (and 1 tweet about ch4) over on my Twitter account. Because it's awhile back, they're buried under my 300+ tweets (especially with the daily/weekly updates from the three threadfics of then) but I believe you can still find them on Twitter if you search for "Truce ch3" and "Truce ch4" and sort them by Latest tweets. You can also find a few sneak peek snippets in the ch2 Comments section of Truce that I gifted a couple readers as thanks for their comments~.

Truce Ch3 Status

At the time I was juggling three threadfics and Truce all in one go. A lot of ch3 was written even before ch2, but it was the beginning scene and the last scene that stumped me. What happened essentially since was I had a conversation with two moots based on a NS/FW drawing planned for ch3 and ended up changing the location, so that scene has to be changed.

Then what was left was the beginning scene I had to first tackle, and I made the decision to go waaaaaaaay outside the box that no one has written before—which is the subtle romantic parody of Superman and Lois Lane in outerspace. A reader of mine tweeted under my tweet of me airing out that idea, and they essentially sent me a thread of questioning the logistics of how that'd work and how dumb it'd be essentially on HL's part (because, y'know, space and exposed human eyeballs and the human body, lack of oxygen/ inability to breath in space, and then there's the question about how Billy's and Homelander's bodies are gonna be able to withstand the heat of re-entering Earth's atmosphere even with their nigh "invulnerable" bodies)—and that fired me up to commit to the outerspace idea as the dramatic first scene because I'm a stubborn writer (/lh). The more you tell me an idea is dumb or cannot be done, the more I feel compelled to do it to prove the person wrong. (Mind you, though, we're good friends on Twitter; this is not meant as shade or anything, haha. They know I joke about how I'm a "stubborn writer" like a certain main character from one of my fics and how their thread fired me up to dig my heels in and give this insane idea a shot.)

After TNotG ch1 is posted to AO3, I'll go back to resuming the writing of Truce ch3. Originally I was thinking of maybe waiting for The Boys (TV) S4 to air so I can bring in Firecracker and Sister Sage and keep true to their canon show personalities instead of me making it up, but then I saw someone tweet that Erin Moriarty doesn't think post production of S4 will be done till 2024. So I think, as long as I'm not gripped by TNoTG ch2 feels, I'm probably going to jump ship briefly and finish Truce ch3 first after TNoTG ch1.

Fix-it AU and the Sugar Baby AU

I'm glad you're enjoying them! Presently as I'm writing TNotG ch1 (and later Truce ch3), I'm putting them on a short pause so I can focus on them individually and not have my wires crossed. HL's POV is always entertaining to write, and there is a certain type of Homelander that I very much enjoy in both my readings and writings. I have a soft spot for reading about a vain, clingy, narcissistic obsessive/ possessive manipulative psychopath HL who is codependent on his partner and wanting them so much he lets himself be dommed—and, after experiencing an earth-shattering revelation and bliss, he now expects to be catered to and pampered like a pillow princess and having Billy's attention revolve around him 24/7 (bc ofc). It's delightful to read about in the fictional sphere where we can play with such an unhinged character, and I like sharing that with my readers.

I'm still thinking maybe after Truce is completed and we just have TNotG in my AO3 portfolio left, that maybe I can migrate these threadfics over as part of my Butchlander Twitter Threadfics series—but obviously polish them up and change a few story decisions and, eventually, finish them. Right now these threadfics only exist on Twitter—and so they shall remain there until I'm ready to begin the migration.

I see you have two more Asks sent to my Inbox. I'm gonna answer them one by one. :) Thank you for sending me the Asks! I swear I cannot stop smiling reading through them.

#tocadoguara #ask #phoenix talks #btw now that I know your other username lemme just say I've seen your comment in 'Truce' ch2 #I will respond! Do excuse my slowness! But it was really lovely and I want to match your energy <3 #don't worry about 'rambling'! On the contrary I relish 'em

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monstersinthecosmos · 2 years

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Anne has written countless sex scenes. Vampires are not ace. Some are. Gabrielle for example. She's also trans, or gender queer. But broadly claiming them all as ace has no grounds at all. You assume that sex has to involve genitals. It doesn't.

So I received this anon within like literal minutes of making this post, which TLDR said hey can we stop invalidating every time someone has an ace read of VC. And I debated whether or not to answer this because frankly, I find it quite mean-spirited and rude in context to the post I made, and as a rule I don't really like to publish salty anons in my space.

I also don't feel like a long response is necessarily warranted here because you don’t seem interested in a conversation and I’m not sure it’s productive to discuss this to you directly when you might not hear it. I have, many times in fandom, been laughed at for being too passionate or vulnerable and if you’re the type of person who’s gonna shut down what I have to say by making fun of me, I can’t do anything about that. That's a You Problem. Still, I can talk about this topic because it's important to me and because I want to, and the fact that I received this message in my inbox at all proves to me I need to talk about it even more lol.

And honestly, I REALLY hate the vague post bullshit culture on tumblr, like I've always tried to qualify my posts by saying I'm not the only person with an opinion that matters. No one has to agree with me and I know that fandom is not a monolith and I cannot possibly capture every person’s perspective at all times. And honestly? I shouldn’t have to. None of us should have to. It takes very little for someone to just read a post with good faith and not assume the worst of somebody for sharing something personal that doesn’t match their exact life experience. And I've always been open to a conversation if I get something wrong, I think I have a pretty good track record of being genuine about that.

Cause I can just see it already that if i respond to this rude, worst-faith-possible anon with a huge essay, people are gonna be like LMAAAO IT BOTHERED YOU SO MUCH and like so what if it bothers me? I'm a fucking person, dude. Like I have feelings just like everyone else? Idk man like I'm not a fuckin edgelord 22 year old who thinks having feelings is cringe, sorry I want to be a person. Yes it bothers me. I don't appreciate this. It's fucking rude and you know it's rude.

But I want to repeat some of the points I made in case you missed them, also because of the overwhelming support I've gotten from fellow aces in fandom. This is exactly the type of attitude I was talking about. I said "There is room for an ace read and you don't have to invalidate asexuals to share your version" and you immediately (within minutes of me posting) come to me saying that I have "no grounds" and then explain genitals to me. Thank you! I appreciate the stereotype that you think I've never had sex, that's very forward thinking .

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: My point is that you don't have to invalidate aces to share your opinion.

Let's get into this though.

"Anne has written countless sex scenes."

This is funny because it depends if you think the sex has to involve genitals (I don't think it does) and it depends if you read a vampire pleasuring a human as mutually satisfying. Some examples I can think of are: Armand watching Daniel with others, Lestat eating out that chick in Memnoch, all the Marius/Armand content, Marius & Armand with Bianca, & that weird shit in Vittorio. Even so I wouldn't necessarily call that "countless", I think I can actually list these scenes on my fingers lol.

Like this is what I'm saying. I can read those scenes as vampires playing with their food and offering a physical human experience. I really love this dynamic between Daniel & Armand in particular as sEEN BY THE MESS THAT IS MY AO3 PAGE LOL, because it's a constant push-pull of miscommunication of how to physically pleasure each other.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: You don't have to invalidate the aces in fandom by denying it so loudly.

And like, yes she has written countless scenes! The other half of her career was erotica!!! But the vampires were specifically not sexual. She talked about it a lot. This is a quote I really like from her:

"I see the vampires as deeply loving all sorts of people. Once they are made vampires, they transcend gender and sexual desire. Their loves have to do with the essence of the person."

I can think of twice in VC where two vampires have sex, and both were Pandora/Marius in her book.

Which brings me to:

"Vampires are not ace."

Both Marius/Pandora scenes are full of commentary about how it feels like nothing. That they're capable of doing it (same goes for Ursula/Vittorio) but that it's useless and doesn't excite either of them. It’s not a matter of their parts not working, it’s a matter of them not desiring sex.

There are also three examples I can think of where vampires are experiencing sex for their own pleasure: the two scenes in TOBT when Lestat is in the human body and his fuckin like vampire sex injection in PL. And this is a larger conversation about what asexuality means and I’m happy to entertain all angles, because this is a conversation about “does the Dark Gift fundamentally change your sexuality or does it stay with you in your mind?” (My entire point was that it DOES change your sexuality if you do an asexual read, even though I stated it wasn’t the only read.) But I personally see Lestat as wanting these things out of curiosity for the experience. Even in TOBT when he’s trying to get with David he’s making it more about needing to get to fuck a man while he still has the body, ie: an experience.

This resonates with me a lot!!!! I know a lot of ace people who are into sex conceptually like kink, or who will try it sometimes out of curiosity. Everyone I’ve fucked in the past 10 years since I accepted my asexuality was out of curiosity LOL. It’s a thing that ace people can do, we’re not all sex-repulsed.

I want to share a quote from the AVEN website--which I really recommend to EVERYONE because it’s a great resource-- ”Many asexual people may experience forms of attraction that can be romantic, aesthetic, or sensual in nature but do not lead to a need to act out on that attraction sexually.”

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: … it's this thing in the universe that they are no longer restrained by human social constructs. They love everyone, they can be attracted to anyone. But similarly, they don't have sex, and that attraction is not sexual in nature. Asexuality does not mean celibacy, but it does mean you are not experiencing sexual attraction.

This point that Pandora makes, the evidence that it feels like nothing and means nothing, also goes back to the idea of servicing a human as a favor to them that the vampire doesn't receive pleasure from.

Another helpful quote from AVEN: “Asexual people may still feel physical pleasure from activities that are sensual, but not sexual. This may include things like cuddling, kissing, or other forms of physical contact or embrace that fall short of sex while still fulfilling their needs. Different people have different levels of intimacy they require, and that’s no less true for asexual people – aside from not needing sex.”

As a counterpoint to your claim that there are “countless” sex scenes, I’d say there are countless examples of vampires explaining that sex feels like nothing and they only want to drink blood.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: (There is of course space here to translate what hunger/Blood means in regards to sexuality and I get that. You can read it more than one way.)

To come at me like I stated this is an absolute is really unfair, like. Again I’m here wondering if this is worth responding to because it’s in such horrifically bad faith, but. I think fandom needs to see this.

I say: There is ample evidence in the text that the vampires can be read as ace, even if you see other ways to read it, but being a dick about it is not necessary.

You, immediately in my inbox: Being a dick about it.

Cool, got it.

“Gabrielle for example. She's also trans, or gender queer.”

I’m really curious your logic on this one, because Gabrielle was never confirmed trans or genderqueer. I don’t understand why you’re allowed to state this as an absolute, but I’m not allowed to say that vampires can be read as asexual.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: Basically, I think younger folks in fandom need to understand that ace identity is still fairly new, especially considering how old these books are. I mean even AR herself spoke often about how she was genderfluid or non-binary without once ever adopting it as an identity. Perhaps she wasn't aware? I barely expect regular people TODAY to know about asexuality. I have to explain it every time I come out to somebody. I don't expect 20, 30, 40 year old novels to get it.

Anne Rice spoke often about gender, both in regards to herself and to her work. We see this several times in her books, too. Gabrielle is the most beloved, but Bianca was doing stuff like this too.

Fans even asked Anne if Gabrielle was trans, and she said no.

But I like the idea that Gabrielle is trans! I think it reads!!!!! It totally makes sense. But I see the way Anne spoke about her OWN gender and I wonder if she didn’t have the tools to articulate it back in the 70s/80s. That was the point I made about asexuality as well.

It doesn’t have to be literal, on the page. Lestat doesn’t have to tell us he’s ace in those words.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: I don't think she wrote them intentionally to be ace rep.

In fact, there’s a really interesting timeline of the history of asexuality as we know it, like when it was first discussed, when the term was coined as we use it today, etc. It’s almost entirely confined to academic papers in the 70s & 80s when this universe was being built. I also think it does good to remember that tumblr is an echochamber and you’re probably surrounded by likeminded queer people, and the reality is that the normies outside do not know what asexuality is. It’s STILL barely discussed.

And there is such a rich history of literature where characters are queer-coded, whether intentionally or not, because the author either wasn’t allowed to talk about it or didn’t know how to talk about it. There are so many historical figures that we are looking back on and asking if they were actually trans. Ask how often queer theory involves combing over old texts for clues lol.

There are also several points in VC that imply autistic/neurodiverse traits in the characters and like. That was not talked about until quite recently. So many times you see these traits in older novels and you have to wonder if the author was modeling it after themselves or someone they knew, and it’s interesting to wonder what it was based on. But just because it’s not on the page, literally, doesn’t mean it can’t be discussed. Especially books from decades where these concepts weren't readily available to the general public.

Anyway, I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: The way you read the book isn't the ONLY way to read it, and there's space for everybody. And no one is asking you not to read your version or have your headcanons. You can do all those things without telling ace fans that they're wrong.

“You assume that sex has to involve genitals. It doesn't.”

Tbh I’m a little lost on this point because I’m not sure where I said that, but in case you missed it, I did say: I'm not really thrilled about some of the conversations I see in VC fandom around asexuality.

Like, again. Yknow what, I try really hard to be kind to people in this fandom, and I’ve always done my best to be approachable, but this is such a condescending, fucked up thing to message to a stranger.

(I also said: Like, I'm not here to give a sex ed lesson, but asexuality is a spectrum.)

Honestly how dare you. I don’t even know what to say to this. Thanks for allosplaining genitals to me, Anonymous Tumblr User Who Has Never Met Me.

“But broadly claiming them all as ace has no grounds at all.”

I saved this one for last because what a completely preposterous thing to say.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: So basically, I don't want to hear that VC vampires aren't asexual. Even if it's imperfect or unintentional, there is room for that reading.

I’m not sure what you hoped to accomplish by dropping this in my inbox, to be honest. Like, I said numerous times all over the post that there’s more than one way to read it and you don’t need to be an asshole to people.

I think YOU claiming that there’s no grounds at all has no grounds at all! HOW BOUT THAT!

Like there is AMPLE evidence in the text, I’ve pointed a few parts out but like, ??? Did we read the same books?

I love this topic, honestly. I said so in my post about how it made me feel seen and less weird reading these books, and you can see in the notes on my post that it isn’t an uncommon response to VC. This resonated with a lot of people.

But I’m not gonna sit here and go through all of it on your ask, because frankly the aces in fandom deserve better than that. We deserve to talk about this when we feel like it without acephobes jumping in our inboxes to tell us we’re wrong. We shouldn’t have to be on the defense every time it comes up, and have to fight for space in a fandom for books about arguably asexual vampires. Like idk maybe I’m an Old Person but I’m not sure when Don’t Like Don’t Read fell out of fashion. If you don’t like asexual reads of VC, you could simply continue to scroll and not take time out of your day to hurt someone’s feelings! How did it make you feel to tell me I'm wrong? What was the outcome supposed to be?

You aren’t even the fuckin first, that’s what’s so sad about this. I say, “It would be nice if people could discuss asexuality in VC without a bunch of dickheads trying to invalidate us” and you saw that as an opportunity lol. And I’m glad to share this ask as an example, because this does happen, and it’s honestly so sad.

It’s absolutely laughable for you to say there’s no grounds. I don’t even know where to start, it’s all over every one of the books lol.

And tbh I not going to try to make more points about this. It’s done to death. And for you to come in my inbox saying this is just honestly so insincere.

Every other day I’m seeing posts from people saying they wish this fandom wasn’t so nasty to each other and it’s like. I don’t get it, why are you behaving like this?

As a policy I try not to post salty anons, and as a policy I try to be friendly and approachable to everyone, but I didn’t survive being violently bullied as a kid to lie down for mean jerks on tunglr dot com.

This isn’t something I tolerate and I’m going to publish it so that everyone else knows they don't have to tolerate it either.

I hope people write more about asexuality in VC and bring up more meta and quotes and all the other ways it comes up and that they feel safe doing so, because this is honestly ridiculous. Anne did enough damage to this fandom HERSELF, there’s no need for this infighting and high school bullshit.

I'll repeat something I said in my original post in case you missed it: I just think in some of these fandom conversations it wouldn't hurt to be more sensitive to these other takes, because it was personal for us too.

I’m not sure how you took my post as an invitation to invalidate my read, tell me there’s no room for my interpretation, and mansplain my orientation to me while simultaneously erasing my experience of it. I can’t see a situation where a person does this for any purpose except to be hurtful.

So idk man, mission accomplished I guess?

#wow sorry for the salt guys #i feel this is an unproductive forum for more ace talk but #let's make our own posts about this more often :)#asexual vc

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