#i was only there for a week so im probably missing a lot of nuance and subtleties here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biolizardboils · 5 months

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so heads up! im popping a LOT of Prime Season 3 posts into the queue--they'll start coming out one week from now, on January 22nd! if you can see this post and haven't watched it yet, here's some tags to block: #prime spoilers, #sonic prime spoilers, #sonic prime s3 spoilers, #sonic prime season 3 spoilers.

got all that? great! here's my final unorganized little rambles about the show:

shoutout to Rusty Rose's Birdie, who only appears in the very first and very last eps for some reason 😭 her speech about it not being her power source came outta nowhere too, but i loved the message behind it

when everyone arrives at the Grim, just before the ep ends, Nine starts breathing heavily and it. instantly reminded me of Movie!Tails when the bar was calling them freaks. fuck. its a nice reminder of where Nine's coming from

speaking of Nine his poses getting more unhinged over time!! hell yeah

i love that the final fight(s) felt like a kid smashing 3 different Lego sets together, real Robot Pirate Island shit

i laughed a little too hard when the Grim's dome started closing in cus Nine's citadel-thing already reminded me of a thing that happened in Fortnite once, but hell naw they had to add The Storm too sdfghj

METAL BIG DESTROYED ME LJKHGFDV im SO glad i wasnt spoiled about it!!! a while in i started finding it creepy instead of funny, which is an added bonus

i was spoiled about the Advance flashback and its clashing sprites though. the utter whiplash of seeing that without warning mightve made me choke on my hot cheeto puffs. someone's already remade it btw, check it out

i fistpumped at the small reprise of "me beauty" gfhjk ill miss you so much Dread

we're four years into the 2020's and Sonic has nearly died an agonizingly slow death 3 times in 3 different continuities! and dare i say it was delicious every time >:)

unless Word of God says otherwise I'm gonna assume that the giant shadow at the end was The Return Of Metal Big lpoihgfds

So... Twitter, huh? My spoiler filters there had some leaks, and I saw some discussion out of context that... actually made me kinda scared to finish the show. But then I did, and had fun with it just like the other two seasons, and I remembered that Twitter gets high-strung about things that don't matter so much, and that giving it sway over how much I enjoy things is silly lol.

Yes, I think the last season could've been paced differently so it wasn't 5 episodes of the same Final Boss Fight. Yes, I think the writing switches jarringly between gearing for a young new audience and for a seasoned old one. Yes, I think the 2D flashbacks look and move worse than what fans constantly make for free. Yes, I think the final episode doesn't do nearly as much housekeeping as it should (does the Shatterverse still exist or not??). Yes, I think declaring the show is canon to the games or whatever they said probably wasn't the best idea. And yes, I think Black Rose should've had a shoulder-parrot!Birdie to match the other Amys. All valid critiques! All sensible things to think when you've been around the Sonic bush!

But I swear to god, people on Twitter act like these things spoil the whole package. Where's the nuance? Why does every opinion there become an absolute worth tearing others down for? Is it the character limit? I bet it's the character limit.

There's so much I love about this show that were infeasible for the Sonic brand just 3-4 years ago. Externalizing the characters' facets to explore them in-depth. Said exploration spanning multiple episodes instead of being one-and-done. The sheer amount of genuine Sonadow food (and I don't actively do shipping, so me adding it here should hold a lot of weight). The snappy, playful, yet blistering fight scenes that, dare I say, feel like a successful TV-budget Spider-Verse. It was all so much fun!

But I guess stuff like Green Hill being the gang's "home" is a big deal-breaker?? Like?? I thought that was silly too, but not worth ratio'ing people with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse over? Get well soon, I guess??

Rambling over, shout-out to the entire country of Canada for giving me the most fun I've had with a Sonic show since X! I'm gonna go figure out how to address all this as The End lol

#sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime season 3 #sonic prime s3 #prime spoilers #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime s3 spoilers #sonic prime season 3 spoilers #sth #prime #me talking #boils watches #long

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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OKAY THE JO ASK I MENTIONED

I'm working on next week's video and it's just like 8 Characters Appearing In Y8 or whatever, and there's a lot I've scrapped to keep it manageable, but obviously I re-listened to the teaser trailer and it got me thinking about Y8 Jo... as usual...

RGG's connection with reality is tenuous at best, but in the case of prison life especially, it's pretty obvious it's Mostly modeled off of movies and other media. Which is fine, RGG is more often than not actively "going for RGG-ism rather than realism" (per staff interview), but it does mean I'll be BSing my way through most of this ask <3

So unlike America, in Japan, inmates can't just make a list of people who can visit them (I would cry if that were the case). Only family, people connected to the case/law enforcement/civil servants, and people who need to consult them about personal matters with legal consequences (e.g. marriage, childcare, employment) can get in.

Friends and associates aren't generally barred from visitation, but Basically It's A Pain In The Ass that requires consistent correspondence to prove they know each other. On top of wardens summarily rejecting visitation requests they don't think will be Productive for the inmate, there's an additional challenge for someone like Ichi as people with criminal records are deemed Bad Influences and so face higher rates of rejection and letter confiscation.

Now. ABSOLUTELY none of this Actually Matters because we've seen Yasuko (who absolutely should have a right to visitation) get rejected and people who probably shouldn't have a right be able to get in. Most wardens don't actually do their jobs (either because they're corrupt or because they're My Man Kosaka From Y5). Because of that corruption, even if a big deal is made of it (50/50 on that), it shouldn't be too hard for someone like Ichi to arrange a visit. It's just down to whatever Yokoyama and co. think is the best for the story.

HOWEVER. It did get me thinking. Because even before I noticed it was Jo's voice, I noticed he definitely didn't sound surprised to see Ichi. He doesn't miss a beat greeting him. And "been a long time, Ichi" has some nuance to it for being such a simple phrase; if you're saying it, and you're Jo, you're not only not surprised to see Ichi, but also the one who's starting the conversation proper and in control of the conversation, whether Ichi knows it or not. At least that's how it's been used so far and how it's generally used in media.

So it's like, What's The Circumstance Here where Ichi is not only able to meet him but Jo also isn't surprised... are you playing it cool... are you gonna be cunty... have you been writing/calling so you know to expect it... do you have other reasons to expect it... If I May Dream A Moment are you meeting outside of prison, so Ichi's the one who's caught by surprise...

This literally isn't even Anything for how long this ask is lol sorry I'm just. Yeah. I am once again Thinking

nothin like a lil thinkin while we wait for more lad8 news yk..... im an encourager of it hell yeah.......

#snap chats #speaking of Videos From Yourself am i heinous to ask what happened to that one tsutsumi vid - unless i just. missed it ☠️#tumblr loves hidin posts from me.. unless THAT video is THIS one but either way im interested to see this vid youre talkin bout #anyway i need to get away from my tablet the temptation to light my stylus on fire is immense i feel soooooo Detached rn #but my pyromania aside yaryar ive considered the circumstances surroundin jo and ichis Supposed reunion as implied by the trailer #so funny i was just talkin bout that bit with star lmao but anyhow #ill be utterly gobsmacked shocked in the dick if jo is out of jail in 8 but rggs done more Baffling things #jos timbre when greeting ichi could due to apathy or de to familiarity- arguably the same thing but i know them to be different in my soul #i dont think its an apathetic Hello tho so def seems like hes expectin jo for one reason or another #or. hes the one visiting ichi. in the My Dick's Been Shocked timeline where jo gets out #all that can be done at this point is to wonder-- ouuugh can next year get here already #i feel like ive been saying that everyday lmao but i truly must have this game in front of my eyeballs i just wanna knOW #too many questions too many wonders i wanna see them now before the compulsion to light myself on fire with this candle wins #much to think bout..#on that note im gonna get away from my tablet so i dont catch THAT on fire and im just gonna stare at this candle until uhh idk when i slee #forgive my lackluster response. ive been very lackluster as of late i fear (´▽｀;;)#i keep saying 'forgive me' yet i continue to be lame im horrible (¯x¯;;;;)

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shini--chan · 3 years

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I love you're writing skills! How would be the reader react when she travel the time back so like the 1600 in England?. And England would she see her in modern clothes. She want go back to her time(2020). Im so sorry for my bad English

Thank you, that is very sweet of you. Also don’t worry – your English probably isn’t as bad as you think.

If you want to see anything else set in that period, go and check that Pirate AU! Post. Now on to this here.

Yandere England – 1600s/Timetravler

Whether you would like it or not, you would find yourself hurtling through time and landing in England during the 17th century. Right in Puritan England to be precise, literally the worst decade to land into right after ending up in the middle of a battle. You would be wandering the countryside, in total confusion as well as in complete panic. That would be how Arthur would find you. He would be heading back home, utterly disgruntled by the state of affairs that he would have to suffer under. Then he would notice you, an alien entity by all means, in your strange clothing and foreign manners. First, he would consider just leaving you to your fate (which could be very gruesome) as the loon you would appear to be to him. Then he would remember the supposed Christian values of hospitality and altruism and approach you to take you home with him.

You would be both relieved and frightened to see somebody approach you. Through his clothing it would dawn upon you that you were really in the past. Despite fearing being deemed a witch or being interrogated or suffering from any other fate that would cross your mind, you would know that you would need help. The moment Arthur would open his mouth to inquire about you, the final nail would be hammered in the coffin. The Old English that would meet your ears would be absolute proof that was once history would be your present. A notion that would be affirmed when Arthur’s face would wrinkle in confusion when you would use your English.

Your strange use of his language would confuse, but would nevertheless ring a bell in the back of his mind. It would remind him how English had developed over the centuries. Would your way of using it just be a natural result of further evolution, hence making you a … timetravler? That would be at least what you would be trying to convey over the language barrier. Arthur would be sceptical at first, wanting to rule out all other possibilities before believe you. If you’d think him to be a fool, then you’d have something else coming. Then you’d try to use evidence to convince him.

Quickly, he grabbed the strange thing you were holding out to him. After giving you a brief mistrusting look, he would take a few steps away from you. A paranoid bastard as ever, he turned to stand in such a way that you couldn’t see everything he was doing while keeping an eye on you.

The thing that you handed to him was unlike anything he had ever seen before. It was rectangular and slim, smooth with its dark glass and opaque surfaces. He glimpsed his own cruel visage in the reflection. Was it nothing more than a strange mirror?

Then he went on to inspect the sides, the tips of his fingers finding a few elevations in the material. Curious, he pressed one of them …

… and nearly dropped it when the dark glass promptly lit up and it emitted a strange sound. You yelled besides him, suddenly directly at his side since your device had been endangered. He was sure that hadn’t his reflexes been so quick, then he would have to defend himself against a very enraged stranger. Instead, you glare at him, as irritated as you were, and tried to snatch your thing back.

Agitated by your action in turned, Arthur roughly pushed you away, sending you sprawling to the ground. You cussed at him, the aggressor recognising a few of the swears you tossed at him but not finding himself bothered enough to respond and instead staring at the picture that had manifested.

There was a colourful background, the nuances and lines and shadows showing a painting that was far more realistic then any he had ever seen before. In front of it, a series of number shined at him. One set was probably the time, he deduced, while the other was most likely the date from how it was written.

2021 …

That was nearly 400 hundred years in the future. He looked at you, observed how you had picking stones out of your scraped and bleeding palms.

Despite your disagreeable demeanour, you would likely prove very useful to him.

He would promptly take you with him, trying his best to convey to you through gestures and miss-matched words that he would only want to help you. If you prove define, then he would coerce you into following him by taking your smartphone hostage. Once you would calm down, then you would rationalize that this would probably be the best option you could receive and concede his wishes.

Arthur would keep you in his house, ensure that all the servants would steer clear from the rooms he would house you in, and gradually butter up to you, with all intentions of drawing the details of his future out of you. Other than that, he would intently observe you, knowing that the behavioural patter say a lot about a person, and in extension, give clues about the environment they grew up in. And needly to say, he would be very surprised by some things.

“You know, it is the third time you demand to be allowed to wash yourself this week. Don’t you think you are going too far? There is miasma in the water, and if you continue like this, not only will you render yourself a fool, but you’ll also become sick”, he chided you as he watched you hauled a bucket up the stairs.

As weak as you were, you were struggling with your heavy load, evidence to the lack of physical labour you had done in your life. It made Arthur ask himself if everybody in the future would be as weak and spoiled as you are, or if you were just the exception.

Either way, while manners and etiquette called for him to ease your burden which you evidently couldn’t manage on your own, he found the sight of you straggling up the flight of cold stone steps far too amusing to intervene.

With trembling arms, your set down the bucket and stared at him, eyes shooting daggers up at him. “In case you didn’t know, it is dirt that actually makes people sick. It is cleanliness that prevents infection. Which is why you would do well to wash daily as well!”

With a frown, Arthur picked up his shirt to sniff it. In his opinion, he didn’t stink, so he didn’t see what you were making such a fuss about. He was also sure he had understood you correctly – the two of you had managed to sort out things to the extent that you could communicate fairly well.

“I think that changing underclothing daily and bathing once a month to be sufficient. And now, before you say anything, be sure to keep your attitude in check. I’ve had more than enough of it”, he told you.

He watched your face wrinkle and swore he heard you mutter: “Damn patriarchy and its superiority complex.”

He didn’t know whether to be alarmed about your very simplistic, black-and-white view of the world and your grievous oversimplifications of the current era or be amused about how you thought you knew everything. Either way, he would have to take your words about the future with a grain of salt – who knew just how skewed your recounts would be.

“I fail to see how this has to do with that. The matter at hand is about the guest treating the host with respect, expected courtesy allowing humans to live together. I could put you out on the streets if you keep being a brat”, he countered.

You grasped the handle once more, water spilling over the rim as you picked it up with both hands. “We both know that you wouldn’t do that. You value me too much.”

And oh, in what ways he was beginning to value you.

For one, he would detest how condescending you would be, due to having all the knowledge of the next centuries and all the benefits that would come with it. Yet, he would bare most of it. When he wouldn’t, he’d let his sharp-tongue and centuries worth of life experience come to light. He would mock you for your nativity and prod at you for being coddled and accustomed to yet-to-be luxuries.

Arthur would tell you that he would put effort in finding a way to send you back to your own time. That would be a shameless lie. He wouldn’t be interested in anything of the sort. Rather he would insist on you staying with him, to help him further his imperial ambitions. Besides, you would be the most interesting and riveting thing that would have happened to him in ages. He would quickly grow attached to you, and with you having nobody else than him (he would ensure that) in a harsh and foreign world of which you would truly know little, you would find yourself relying on him.

He might tell you that he is a personification. Secrets for secrets, after all. And with him providing proof of his semi-immortality and the absurdity of time travel having happened you would be inclined to believe him. England would also tell you that if you would return to your own time, he would be sure to seek you out, so that you can be back together again. Besides rising alarm bells in your head, you would find yourself asking just how much of the timeline you would end up altering with the scrapes of information that he would wheedle out of you.

#yandere england #yandere hetalia #time traveler #yandere hetalia x reader

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directionoftime · 3 years

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Hi! How are you? Hope you’re well!

Sorry if I’m bothering you but I came across you fics and Im dying to read Storm Cloud but me, as silly as I am, I try to avoid to read unfinished stories cause I got attached to the stories and don’t know how to live without an ending to it….

So, all of this to ask if you please may consider writing the end of it…

Also another question: the number of chapters changes from ffnet and ao3, why is that? It’s due to the those sites structure to post?

Tá

Hi Anon,

Ah Storm Cloud... my first great love, and my greatest tragedy... and now seemingly cursed to wander the interwebs unfinished and loved only at a distance.

The early days of SC being written (where I'd update somewhere between a few days/week) was great going, I got to about the 200-250k mark no problems but life took over, I had to move (jobs/country) and life in general just got stressful in ways that parasitised my creativity. In addition to this, the story just stopped getting any engagement, the comments before (and on other stories like I Missed Again and Go No Further carried over a lot of the same readers and we had some great convos) But as my update turn around slowed, they dropped away - and I completely get it: the longer the update schedule you forget the nuance of the chapter/story and your interest wanes (I've been guilty of this myself more than once!) Soon, the only kind of comments I was getting were (quite literally): "more! XD"

"kill urself, virgin s---"

As you might imagine, neither of those particularly helped my already struggling creativity. In the earlier days of writing SC I was in some difficult situations and the good interactions offered me some level of positive social interaction I had precious little of in real life (this might sound weird, but the people I worked with were... hmm... unkind, shall we say).

I had no one else in my life who knew I wrote, or if they did assumed it was something silly, stupid and time wasting. They dgaf about anything I was doing.

So, to address your point of saying you only like to read finished stories: yes, I do understand that - it is frustrating beyond words to read so much of a story and get invented for it to just... end. But, if you can, think of it from my perspective (and other fan-fic authors) for just a moment:

You're expecting me (in context of SC) to run a hyper marathon with no support, no engagement, no feedback, nothing until it's done. [context: I estimate SC to be complete at 350k - that's a 700 page novel!] And then, maybe, I can expect a single comment (which may or may not provide feedback, offer anything kind to say, or any kind of useful positive comment) in return? Doesn't that sound just a little skewed to you?

I'm not attacking you here, I just tying to illustrate that writing takes time, effort, creativity, hard work and a lot of emotional labour (if you're really putting in effort, you need to understand your character, get into their headspace etc - this will vary a bit between authors tho).

In the midst of writing my longer form stories -- I cannot express to you what a well-spring of creativity and passion directly came out of reading comments from my readers. Even when I thought myself out of ideas, I'd read some lovely comments and the sparks were FLYING BABEY!

This has been hashed out by others in past, a probably much more eloquently, but we don't get paid, we have other pressing life responsibilities that no, cannot wait for fan-fiction.

I and others have said: comments are our 'pay'

I write because I love it, but I ALSO love engaging with others about my writing, writing stories that offer people a chance to practice emotions, or follow interesting stories, maybe it's just a free piece of fiction that lets them escape their "real life" for a few minutes - and the stresses there in. There is something magical there, writing a story that someone else loves? That's some lifting the veil of the universe sh-t right there!

There are a million reasons why we write and why we read - and why we (as humans) derive so much pleasure from it.

You get to decide how you interact with fandom (that's really only your choice and I don't mean this in a 'i think ur wrong' kind of way) so I'm not telling you do this or not do that, but I do just want you to consider this perspective the next time you pass over a story because it's "not finished" There is a person on the other end of that story -- the author -- and your willingness to skip over their story, might just be the thing that creatively starves them.

But to answer your question? Eh... maybe. It's been so long even I'm out of the loop of SC and can't really remember some finer points, so it's up in the air I'm afraid. (Diff chapters? Uh might just be because my posting there hasn't kept up whilst I was trying to edit typos/stupid mistakes etc)

I have some original novels and stories I'm working on atm anyway and I've just finished my Masters so I'm currently burnt out to fu-k.

Fandom we're the only ones keeping it and each other alive - please don't be afraid to spread some love!!! <3

#anon #fandom #storm cloud #naruto #kakasaku #thanks for the ask anon #no offence/hate meant #mean this only honestly for what feels kinda sensitive to me atm

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konaizumi · 3 years

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A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 8 thoughts/reaction

did i watch this episode secretly on my phone while i was in class bc i couldn’t stand waiting a whole hour to watch the new ep? maybe

tian visiting torfun’s memorial to leave flowers and tell her that he’s going to pha pun dao was sweet

also him and phupha missing each other again was just a really nice scene and phupha wondering who left her flowers

i have decided to forgive dr nam for last episode (the snooping not the flirting thing) bc i know he was just concerned about his friend and he didn’t intend for phupha to have that kind of reaction, but he still should’ve confronted tian directly before telling phupha

the way tian is looking at longtae in the beginning, seeing how supportive he’s being and knowing that he’s probably about to lose longtae as well

god this scene was so painful to watch, just knowing what was coming

but the editing that combines tian’s speech with phupha reading through the notebook

also, thank you to the writers for confirming that the tian/torfun similarities are bc he’s been reading the notebook and not because torfun’s spirit is possessing him, i didn’t think they would do that but nice to have confirmation

poor tian really did go there with the best intentions

oof, when the music goes silent when phupha interrupts his speech

also, i said this last week, but it should’ve been the rangers responsibility to tell everyone torfun had died and the fact that they didn’t only added to tian’s burden and the animosity aimed at him, and it annoyed me the way the rangers (perhaps unintentionally) let tian take on the full blame and didn’t admit that they had known about torfun’s death from the start

god and the way tian’s heart break is visible on his face as soon as phupha interrupts/confronts him and he realizes that phupha won’t be on his side

and mix’s acting in this scene (and the entire episode) is just so good, you can see the way he’s desperately trying to keep in together and not completely break down, and his heartbreak when he realizes he’s all alone

also, i made a longer post about how i understand phupha’s reaction, I think it’s pretty natural and that he’s not overreacting, however, i do wish he hadn’t confronted tian so publicly like that

just everything about this scene is just so good in the most painful way, especially the sad orchestral version of the theme song

now i think this ep is too sad for me to say it’s my favorite, but from a narrative/cinematography perspective it is my favorite, it was just really well done

i was really hoping the kids would have a bigger role this ep and begin the forgiveness process for the rest of the village, so i was excited when Meejoo came but then p’aof decided to stab me directly in the heart when she asked what death is

(also im sorry but how old are these kids that she doesn’t know what the word death is?)

(also given that everything that happens in this ep happens within like a 30 hour period, i still hold hope for the kids forgiving next ep once they have some time to process)

at least they didn’t make me watch the scene where tian had to explain what death was, that would’ve killed me

i understand the villager’s reactions too, and i do kind of wish tian would just stay home and give them some time to grieve and process before trying to interact with them–i don’t blame tian for keeping the truth from them this long, but he does need to respect the pain they’re going through

also this scene with phupha really fucked me up, the way phupha remains stone faced even though he’s clearly in a lot of pain

“i wish i could return it to her” one of the things about this story that really fucks me up is that you can’t have both torfun and tian--torfun had to die for tian to live, and if torfun had lived then tian would have died and all the characters are in a way stuck with this moral dilemma of “choosing” between tian and torfun, even if the decision was already made for them, and tian has had to deal with this problem since the beginning and made his choice a long time ago that he would have preferred that torfun had lived instead of him bc he feels like she had more to live for and left behind more than he would’ve

also the scene is so much more painful knowing that just that morning phupha had finally said out loud that he wanted tian to stay

and i was really ton this scene between understanding phupha’s reaction and where he’s coming from but also being like “please stop talking to my son like that, he feels bad enough as is”

i have often had the emotion of “i want to walk through the screen so i can give this character a hug” and i have literally never felt it stronger than this episode of atots

also thank you to dr nam who told phupha not that he was wrong for his actions, but that he should’ve confronted tian differently, also for figuring out that tian wasn’t the driver

the fact that tian just walked through the tea field so he knows that either khama was lying to him or that longtae saw him in the field and hid from him

poor longtae tho, thought he knew what was coming then was hit with “im responsible for her death”

you know what? i didn’t realize khama would have such a recurring role from the first episode, but i really like him--he’s trying to do his best for the village and that isn’t always easy and he’s the first to try to think about tian’s perspective even when it’s clearly difficult for him

also i love khaotung, he does a really good job as longtae, and as much as i loved him as chonlatee, i prefer him in more mature roles like longtae or fong

did dr nam really think phupha would keep letting tian stay in his room?

it came as a surprise to likely no one but i am glad to have definitve confirmation that tian was in fact not driving the car

against my wishes, tul did not show up this episode to give tian a hug so i hope he’s in the next ep to provide some much needed emotional support

tian’s involvement in torfun’s death is also complicated because to say he had no responsibility in it would be wrong but to say he had full responsibility wouldn’t be right either, there was so much of the situation that was just due to chance, as it the case in any accident, so i appreciate the nuance of the narrative in that tian does take responsibility (even if he takes too much) but other characters like longtae argue that it’s not his fault, bc it’s easy from an outside perspective to say it’s not tian’s fault but it would be much harder to be in tian’s position and not feel responsible that his actions lead to torfun’s death

longtae is truly best boi

tian saying he’s okay with just longtae understanding him is so sad but at the same time it’s good that he’s not trying to force other people to understand or forgive him

now i really want to know what torfun’s wish is bc you know it’s going to be all meaningful and thematically relevant

istg if i had a fucking nickel for every time tian has tried to give me a heart attack

i spent the entirety of part 4 yelling at tian to just stop being stupid

like i get it, you don’t feel like you have the time to waste to go find phupha, but still

also im worried that maybe the reason he was so adamant about doing it himself and not finding phupha was because he didn’t feel like he could go to phupha or that phupha might not believe him

tian please just listen to longtae being the voice of reason

or at least send longtae back to the village to go get phupha if you’re this determined

as soon as he pulled out his phone i fucking knew the flash would go off bc tian can’t be smart without also being dumb

pls don’t hit my son he has a weak heart

longtae running away like “i didn’t sign up for this shit”

pls stop hitting my son

i was wondering how tian’s dad would become involved in the story again and tian name dropping him to escape being killed by poachers was not it

but sakda was clearly scared when tian first said the name so obvi they’re connected and i’m assuming the person who called tian’s dad was either sakda or one of the other men there which means that tian’s dad is doing illegal shit (surprise surprise)

tian i know you’re stressed but pls let rang provide first aid

that montage at the end tho really hit me

also the parallels between this scene and the one when tian fainted in the field, it’s literally the exact same scene but the roles are reversed

also the fucking post credits scene, the emotional whiplash, the pain from knowing phupha said this stuff literally hours before everything went wrong

the way i squealed when phupha said i do (and throught the rest of the scene), it was literally the sweetest thing, it might be my favorite phutian moment so far

so for the last two episodes, im assuming that tian’s dad coming to get him and the dad being involved in illegal stuff will be the main external conflict, i wouldn’t be surprised if next ep ended with the dad showing up and demanding to take tian back

also the next ep preview, khama telling tian to forgive himself, im weak

this episode just made me feel so much, the story is just so complex and nuanced, and the characters are real and messy, and pls more bl in the future that aren’t afraid to tell more serious stories (as much as i love the romcom style of most bls i would love some more variety)

#1000 stars #atots #a tale of a thousand stars #1000 stars ep 8 #atots spoilers #1000 stars spoilers #konaizumi reactions

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rigelmejo · 3 years

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march 3/15/2021

im trying to read through tae kim’s grammar guide right now because i’m officially further in the nukemarine LLJ memrise decks (there’s tae kim grammar guide sections in there) than i am in actually reading the grammar guide. And obviously these example sentences in the memrise deck would teach me more if i CLEARLY understood why they’re like how they are. which i... need to read the grammar guide section to understand lol.

my goal rn with japanese is? to get further in the nukemarine LLJ decks than i did last time. I’ve already mildly accomplished that (have done officially MORE of the tae kim section than before, have NOT redone the 190 common words i did last time i did this though). there are about 400 more cards in this tae kim section (LLJ 4) and then 1000ish cards in the common word section (LLJ 5). I would love to get them done.

it would be sweet if i could get them done before April 22?/24? whenever Nier Replicant comes out because then I could play that baby in english and japanese! Then Nier Automata! ToT The Entire thing that kicked me back into wanting to study japanese was my old love for certain video games and desperately wanting to know what their stories/characters are like before translation/localization. So it would be cool if I could play them a little ;-; or at least check out lets plays.

(which, checking out the kh2 lets play has been going pretty well so far... also that part where namine says “we aren’t meant to exist” and roxas says “how could you say such a thing? even if it were true” he says in japanese like “thats brutal/harsh to say. even if its true.” ...great to know that line is equally raw and heartbreaking in japanese lol. KH2′s localization did real good on like equal vibe to original just like ‘less nuanced’ if that makes sense. also thanks to the chinese hanzi i know now watching the KH2 lets play means i can figure out a lot of noun’s writing even though i don’t catch the pronunciation... also i’m catching a lot of words that mean like ‘beautiful/good’ as in like ‘great move’ and ‘dang’ lol.)

i had to stop myself from redoing the chinese flashcards i’ve done in the past! because i get ‘into a zone’ lol. And i really don’t need to waste time redoing those 2000 cards. i also needed to stop myself from doing the hsk 5-6 cards. because realistically? i know half of them, i should just set a lot to ‘ignore’ on the computer but im too lazy, and i’m learning a lot of vocab from reading right now. i don’t need hsk words to pass any test. The words i’m learning right now in reading are a lot more applicable to the actual shows i watch/things i listen to/things i read. its more useful to me to keep reading. and also to not sidetrack my japanese lol. i have read... 39 chapters this month... this month is only half over! hanshe is truly motivating ToT it also helps the story CONSTANTLY ends on cliffhangers so i keep clicking next chapter. who knows, maybe hanshe will help me kick up my reading speed. it already shaved off 10 minutes per 20 pages - now my 20 pages are down to 30 minutes to read, which is better than a few months ago. hanshe has 155 chapters so i HOPE it speeds up my reading lol.

hanshe is increasing my vocab though, its definitely noticeable over time. and hanshe has really good repetition of vocab which helps with learning and later the payoff means i never have to look up the word in future once its learned while it remains useful to me and i keep being reminded of it. after i get bored of hanshe OR i finish it, whichever comes first, its either back to a priest novel or into another pingxie fanfic written by hanshe’s author. The author did one fanfic that’s only 33 chapters so that would be NICE to do after this one lol ToT

summary of what’s turned out to be my studying methods this month:

Japanese:

reading through grammar guides (the one yue-muffin made and tae kim’s). so just grammar explanation reading.

doing nukemarine LLJ decks (in the ACTUAL order they are in the deck to completion - last time i did like 3 per time and never finished any lol. this is bolded because it’s the primary activity i’m prioritizing). so SRS flashcards. it’s working well right now because i can just put this activity in anytime i have downtime, like when i pause shows (since we know me i gotta take a break from a show every 20 minutes lol). i am bafflingly in a flashcard mood and i’m trying to take advantage of it while i got it.

*when i feel like it: watching kh2 lets play. so some immersion where i look up words. (and when Nier Replicant remaster releases next month I’m likely to at least a tiny bit try to play it in japanese ToT lol we’ll see)

so grammar reading, srs flashcards covering some grammar/listening/reading/vocab, and some optional immersion.

(a note: i gave up on the japaneseaudiolessons for now because i got bored. its a great resource! i just don’t feel like it right now. and from an efficiency perspective, nukemarine LLJ decks cover vocab, grammar, audio, reading - so I don’t need another resource for that right now).

Chinese:

reading through hanshe. so immersion reading, intensive reading looking up unknown words. (unknown words are happening less so its getting less ‘intense’ lol)

listening to Chinese Spoonfed Audio. so listening to audio flashcards. for building up listening comprehension/repetition to pick up some more common words. (i’ve been doing this during daily walks making it much easier for me to consistently do, doing it mainly to supplement the Reading Heavy study i’m doing, i can drop this and pick it up later if i want since its mostly easy background listening)

*I am slowly rereading the grammar guide on www.chinese-grammar.com for explicit grammar clarification. but this is not a high priority, since I sort of implicitly understand a lot of this and i’m not working on fixing production mistakes yet. i just... miss knowing wtf is going on in the grammar lol.

*when i feel like it: Listening Reading The Glass Maiden/Love and Redemption Novel. I’ve done 2-3 hours of it this past week, but i don’t know when or if I’ll just stop. Thankfully l-r is beneficial somewhat even if i switch up books later. i WANT to L-R you have no idea (to Silent Reading and Guardian REALLY badly lol). But its so time intensive, and requires a lot of focus, and i have to really plan to do it for an hour at a time usually. I am so bad at doing stuff for that long consistently. I was in the mood earlier this week! ToT

*when i feel like it: watching chinese shows raw. I was super in the mood this month because Word of Honor came out, and Killer and Healer came out, and Rattan came out, and I didn’t want to wait for subs. As a result I watched a LOT of raw episodes this month. However, english subs have caught up and since I’m lazy I’m inclined to just watch the subs - especially since youku ITSELF just put english subs on their most-ahead viewing schedule version of the eps on youku vip. so guess who’s buying youuku vip today? -3-)/ That said... even if I stop for a while, if Rattan subs move too slow I’ll probably watch those raw. And as SOON as 2ha’s drama Immortality drops I am highly likely to watch the raws for that since I likely won’t be able to wait. Watching shows is pretty highly dependent on how much I want to watch something and if subs take a while lol.

so reading, and listening. and a little listening-reading method too. mainly just working on reading, listening, vocab acquisition. chinese is going good - for a few months now i’ve just had the plan ‘read often while looking up unknown words, and add some listening study activity when i have time.’ It’s simple, and its been working well. later on down the road i’ll need some explicit grammar clarification again, but this is bare bones enough of a study plan at the moment. i’m clearly picking up words and phrases and hanzi at a reasonable pace. its not the Fastest obviously, but it is causing improvement over time and since i’m enjoying it i see no reason to change it up.

ending things

...who knows WHY i am so well focused this month with so much energy... tbh... i track how many chapters i read a month/audio i listen to/show episodes i watch etc, and this month is like as much as 3 other of my usual months combined. also my japanese has been basically ‘dabbling only’ prior to this month.

although... maybe in part its how i’ve gotten better at reading hanshe? Reading being easier certainly motivates me TO read more. And watching shows was MUCH easier this month (still not ‘easy’ but following the main plot is) which definitely makes me Want to watch more. Also i am... unbelievably motivated by a challenge. I think i got it in my head that i ‘really want to do more of Nukemarine’s LLJ courses and see how much i understand after them’ and now... i really want them DONE. so maybe the current things motivating me will hold out for a while.

(On the listening-reading front meanwhile, that activity takes SO much concentration its hard to do if i’m tired, BUT i have so many TRANSLATED novels i want to read recently and honestly its fun hearing the chinese narration and audiobook actors so like... i very much Want to do l-r so i can hear them as i read the translation... immovable object of me tired versus how much i’m interested in them lol ToT).

also thank u thank u @a-whump-muffin for sending me those lets plays because honestly it got me so excited again and its so cool to see them!!! <3 <3 and its so much easier to watch them versus committing to playing a whole game myself just yet ToT

#rant #march progress #march #it is wild how much i've already done this month #i really have done a Lot?#maybe my reading kick from early this month is just transfering to chinese #from january on i read 11 books in english? or 12 #and now hanshe i'm speeding through? i think maybe hanshe just got easy enough to feel like reading a hard english book #and since i was reading english like non fiction i am already in a 'can handle takes a while per chapter' zone #since non fiction takes me like 1 hour for 20 pages or something horrific like that lol ToT

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bodytoflame-ao3 · 5 years

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falling from the start

did i write more wlw percabeth? you bet your ass i did!!!!!! i accidentally deleted the ask but for the anon who asked for fem!percy asking her mom for advice here it is :^) this takes place in the summer between botl and tlo. i absolutely want to write more in this same universe please give me more prompts omfg im begging this is so fun

Ao3 Link

“So how's Annabeth?”

Percy pushes the last few peas around her plate absentmindedly, “I don't know.” She doesn't, and she hates it. Ever since the end of summer, things had been so… weird. She didn't know what Annabeth's deal was. First off, for whatever reason, she hated Rachel. Percy didn't get it. Rachel was kind, and funny, and caring, and a really good friend to Percy (even if she was a mortal and didn’t understand some of the nuances of being a half-blood). It made her wonder what Rachel could've possibly done to upset her.

In any case, she didn’t know what she did to upset Annabeth either. Which brings her mind to the one thing she's been trying to push away since it happened: Annabeth kissing her. Because, right, Annabeth kissed her. It threatens to turn Percy's brain to mush every time she thinks about it. She daydreamed about kissing her, probably more than she should, so she should be crazy about it actually happening, but something in her gut just feels… wrong. For lack of a better description, Annabeth kissing her confuses the hell out of her. She loved Luke. She said so herself. She obviously didn't like Percy like that, so then why did she kiss her?

“I thought you were going to try to talk every weekend.”

Percy shrugs. That’s right. #2 on the list of weird things. They were. Annabeth wanted to know everything about her mom's wedding. But it’s been three weeks and she hasn’t made a single attempt to contact Percy; she’d worry she was in trouble if she didn’t know any better.

“Did you two get in a fight?”

“I don't know!” The fork clatters against the plate. She can’t stop her thoughts from spiraling out of control, and she hates herself for it.

“Percy,” her mom sits down next to her at the table and places a reassuring hand on her back.

“I don't know… I mean, there was the whole thing with the Labyrinth, and when I came back she just… she was so annoyed at me. Which, I mean, yeah that makes sense, it's totally like her to be annoyed that she thought I was dead, because that's exactly what she told me not to do, and since when do I ever listen to her?” She can't stop the flood of thoughts from coming out of her mouth. “I thought she would get over it, and she'd just tease me about it for a week like always and then everything would be fine, but then she was really mean to Rachel, even though she was just trying to help! She's never done anything to her, and I… I don't want my friends to fight. We're supposed to be fighting monsters, not each other.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“No but… she would’ve called if she wanted to talk to me.”

“I don’t know about that. You picked a stubborn one.”

Her mom decides movie night is the best way to mitigate her worries. Percy’s always loved The Little Mermaid (Sally’s always thought that was hilarious). Yeah, it’s ironic. You don’t need to tell her that twice, she’s been teased enough by her mom. To be perfectly fair, she always thought Ariel was stupid for leaving the ocean, because duh, it’s awesome, but she loved the music, and that was enough to make a toddler obsessed with something. By the time she realized how ridiculous it was for it to be the daughter of Poseidon’s favorite movie, it was already too big a part of her.

Usually, it’s easy for her to sit down and lose herself in it. She knows every scene almost word for word, and she loves every second of it, so there isn’t anywhere her mind wants to wander to. Nothing to analyze, nothing to be confused over. Tonight, however, she can’t concentrate. That is to say, even worse than usual. Her brain feels like the static of dead air on a TV. Fuzzy. Tingling? Buzzing. Just… stuck. As much as she wants to just lay down and have a normal, quiet movie night with her mom she doubts it’ll actually happen, because the only thing on her mind is Annabeth. She thinks about way she smirks when she has an idea, how her grey eyes shine against the moonlight, and the slight change in the cadence in her voice when she’s teasing Percy.

“Mom?” Percy needs to tell someone or she’s going to explode. Possibly literally. “I think I'm in love with Annabeth.”

“Mhm?”

Really? Percy glares at her, pouting. She’s not surprised, because she’s convinced her mom can practically read her mind, and she's teased her about it to no end.

“Do you want me to act like I didn't know?” She wonders if it would be easier that way. Sally furrows her eyebrows and sighs, “Percy…”

Percy almost whispers her response: “No… I want you to tell me everything’s gonna work out.” But it’s not. It won’t. “I want you to tell me she’s not going to hate me and I’m not going to lose one of the most important people in my life!” As her frustration builds, so does her voice, reaching a crescendo as her final words echo off the walls of the apartment.

“Come here,” she pats the couch cushion, and Percy drags herself off the chair to sit next to her. “I know it’s not easy.”

Percy’s not sure she knows what easy is.

“I had a crush on one of my best friends once.”

“It’s not the same! She’s—”

“A girl?” Sally offers quietly. Percy didn’t make it a habit to talk about these kinds of things, despite how close she was with her mom. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t scare her a bit at first; it’s not like the idea of liking girls was something she came to terms with easily. But it had been a whole hell of a lot easier than grappling with the fact that she liked Annabeth.

“No… I mean yes, but… I mean… she’s Annabeth.” She’s my best friend, and she’s smart, and wise, and tough, and she’s beautiful without even trying, and she doesn’t even know it, but her hair shines in the sun like it’s dusted with gold, and her eyes could stare into the depths of your soul and you’d ask her to do it again.

It happened slowly. Sure, her first thought when she woke up at Camp Half-Blood, Annabeth’s curls hanging down into her face, was, infact, ‘wow, she’s pretty.’ (She’s still not sure if that was the concussion talking or not, she digresses), but she was twelve, and wasn't thinking about things like that, not really. Soon, 'wow, she's pretty' turned into 'wow, she's tough' and 'maybe she can help me find my mom', and then they were a team, the three of them. By the time she realized she may have a teensy tiny crush on her, they were already bantering like old friends; and Annabeth was a clingy friend, so while Percy's heart would beat a little faster when she'd grab her hand, she knew Annabeth wouldn't fuss over something so simple. She finally had a friend, a girl (because there were just some things Grover didn’t need, or want to know) who she could talk to and share her secrets with (well, not all of them), and she wasn't about to ruin that by saying something stupid and fleeting.

Percy thought it would pass, after all it was just a stupid crush. She'd get over it. That's what always happened. But this time it didn't, and it just got worse. Now there was something different in the way her breath hitched when Annabeth would lean close to her; a change in the sense that her heart now fluttered when she called her Seaweed Brain.

She hated that her brain was betraying her like this. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her best friend. She was supposed to save the world, not complicate it with her messy relationship drama — not that you could even call it that.

“Oh, honey,” Sally wraps her arms around Percy, pulling her close, “She cares about you. And I know you care about her.”

“But what if she hates me?”

“Do you really think she could?”

She was right. She always was.

“She’ll come around. Give her some time. And give her a call — I’m sure she misses you.”

#percabeth #prompt fill #fic #~1k words #anon #annabeth chase #pjo #fem!percy jackson #fem!percy #wlw percabeth #made

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death-burst · 4 years

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My thoughts about His Dark Materials

I’ve finished volume 3 last week, and I wanted to come back to the earlier discussion now that I have a fresh memory of the conclusion.

And ooh boy, I don’t like that conclusion, but not for the reasons mentioned by star-anise that started this discussion. I’ll start with my own criticism, and go back to that after.

[Obviously, SPOILER WARNING, proceed at your own risk.]

So, in the last 30 pages or so, we get:

a reiteration in even clearer terms of that “servants have dog daemons” point, that a daemon represents a person “true” nature. We already had a branch of the previous discussion on that topic, and we all agreed it was bad. Some where doubting that it was what Pullman actually meant, or whether it was only some unreliable narrator’s opinion. Well, for me there’s no doubt anymore. At least, there’s a vague suggestion that it isn’t definitely fixed and that people could, theoretically, change, they just choose not to, so you know, silver lining and all that....

Lyra coming into her prophesied role as the “new Eve” and somehow preventing all the Dust from exiting the universe through the huge gap in reality caused by the Church’s bomb, without any explanation of what made her special or even how it works at all, and without any real story need for that, since the (good) Angels would close it soon after anyway. It’s just that, looping back to the foreshadowed prophecy, only for the sake of meeting expectations, but I find that it actually weakens the story a lot.

a confirmation that Angels are dumb-asses, and have been so for the last 300 years. For real, if it was so important, why did they need to ask Will specifically, and not any of the previous knife holder, how to close the portals?

and not only are they dumb, they are also mean for no reason to the kids that JUST FRICKING SAVED THE UNIVERSE, no big deal. Seriously, I’m not opposed to bad/sad endings when they are credible, but this one, gosh, I’m so angry, there was probably a dozen workarounds to have a happy ending instead, based on the books own premises. Just to name a few:

They are closing dozens of portals that have stayed open for hundred of years, but really, the universe can only withstand A SINGLE portal, strict limit, I promise. No way you can keep two portals open, no way. Yeah, I don’t believe you...

OK, OK, let’s admit we can’t keep two portals open. But we can open the second one briefly every 5 years or so to visit each other’s world, right? No? It will create a specter? AND HOW IS THAT A PROBLEM EXACTLY?!! You just fricking dealt with thousands of specters that accumulated and grew over a couple centuries. One specter every five years is peanuts. Just send a couple Angels to get rid of it as soon as it is spawned, and voilà! Or a squad of volunteer ghosts. With the number of people dying over 5 years over the whole multiverse, I’m sure you’ll get more than enough volunteers. You bunch of ungrateful pricks, you owe this two kids at least that much, and probably a thousand times more.

And what about the “natural” portals, those not created by the knife that do not leak Dust? Oh, you will close them to make sure I don’t waste my life looking for them? WHAT THE HECK!! Alternate proposition: I promise I won’t look for them myself, YOU look for them, AS YOU INTENDED TO ANYWAY, and instead of closing them, you map them, and if you finally find a route from my world to hers, you come back and tell me? Yeah, you know, try to find a solution instead of squashing hope and all that? I think someone needs to read Pandora’s myth again, the importance of hope and all that...

(sorry for all the caps. i’m REALLY *that* angry)

Also, in the grand explanation of everything at the end, we get told that the big fight between “good” and “evil” is actually a fight between wisdom and ignorance, with a flat affirmation that half the universe, including all organized religions, was fighting on the side of ignorance, to keep people dumb. I’m more or less an atheist myself, and even me, I feel so offended by such a rash statement. That’s such a narrow understanding of the origin and role of religion, how can you write a whole three books about it and come to such a broad and coarse conclusion? Get some nuance, dammit.

..... Probably the worst ending I’ve read to a series that I enjoyed.

Because yes, I enjoyed most of the series, it’s just the conclusion that is so awfully terrible, but the vast majority of the story is interesting and entertaining.

Despite all that, I still disagree with star-anise original post, at least as far as the books are concerned (she was watching the recent TV series). For reference, it’s here: https://star-anise.tumblr.com/post/190192181909/im-trying-to-watch-his-dark-materials-but

If I understood the gist of her argument correctly, she’s annoyed by Dust’s sudden change of behavior during adolescence, the claim "that puberty is the most pivotal time for a child developmentally”, to quote a later post in the thread. But in my interpretation, the books are NOT claiming that. I don’t know what the TV series did with that topic, but numerous points in the books point to a more continuous transition:

Lyra is always able to interact with Dust, through the alethiometer or Dr. Malone’s devices, even before she meets Will and fall in love or has sex.

The kids become gradually more aware of the Specters, it’s not a sudden shift. And they become fully vulnerable to them before their Daemons take a fixed form, showing that even before that they already have accumulated a lot of Dust.

There are various remarks that Dust accumulates slowly overtime. It says that young children have very little Dust (compared to adult), but not none at all. And it also says that old and wise persons have much more Dust than the average adult, evidence that Dust keeps accumulating over the whole life, it’s not just one change happening at puberty and/or with the discovery of sex/love.

Daemons do go through a sudden change of behavior at puberty, but a) it doesn’t seem related to Dust directly, and b) it’s implied they can still change, they just don’t want to. This sudden change is not “encoded into the physics of the universe”, it’s just a statistical trend, not an absolute truth.

On the other hand, supporting star-anise argument, there is one such change, but it’s about the mulefa, not the humans, so I’m not really sure what to make of it. The mulefa physically cannot accumulate Dust unless/until they absorb oil from the wheel trees, and so their youngsters do get through an abrupt transition when they get big enough to start using wheels, which is the closest equivalent for them of puberty. But once again, no link with love or sex.

At no point whatsoever is Dust presented as related to Sin, except by Miss Coulter and Lyra’s world’s Church, which are obviously bad guys and misguided.

So personally, I don’t fault the books on that topic, and I find that they present, on that topic specifically, a nuanced and interesting take. I think a more legitimate criticism in that direction is about the “special nature” of humans compared to animals, as if humans aren’t just another kind of animal, as if animals are not conscious at all. They are, and we should respect that more, and treat animals with more compassion in general. Animals should attract Dust too, even if at a slower rate.

(Also, I’m still annoyed by that “Daemon as true nature” bit...)

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ledamemangociana · 4 years

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2020 20 questions meme time UWU

i was tagged by @decertatio to do this! i havent spent enough time on here recently to tag anyone, B U T! if you see this and would like to do this, consider yourself tagged, and let me know! i wanna read your answers UWU

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1. Do you make your bed? - GAWD NO, at least not 70% of the time, im so bad at this. it’s coz on the weekdays, i start working at 6:30am or 7am at home coz my bosses are in Australia and a lot of our clients are in Australia and/or New Zealand, and they’re 3 or 4 hours ahead of us, so i gotta get on those emails and support case tickets as soon as i can, so i give myself about an hour to catch up, and then i hurry out of the condo to get to the office before im marked late at 10am lolololol. on the weekends, when im at home, BECAUSE im just at home, i never fix my bed coz im in it 85% of the time anyway lakdjf

2. What’s your favorite number? - 13, cliche as it sounds. not coz i think it’s lucky or anything, but because other people around me thought it was. i kind of clung onto it when i was in high school coz i wanted to fit in by standing out.

3. What’s your job? - An accounts and client services manager at a digital services agency.

4. If you could, would you go back to school? - Probably not. I love learning, HATE studying.

5. Can you parallel park? - i never got far enough into being taught how to drive by mom to get to parking

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I think every job I’ve ever held, tbh. I graduated interior design mainly because my dad told me to when i asked him if i should enroll in advertising instead (the entrance exam i passed was good for either course). the only ID job i ever had lasted only two weeks, at a firm i had to do my internship/OJT at. it was my first job, and i was let go after two weeks. after that, i was a call center agent for two months, and then a copywriter for 6 months, and then an SEO specialist for a year and a half, and then a social media content/community manager at one firm for one year, and then for another agency for 3 and a half, and now im in my second year as an accounts manager at a digital services cloud agency. even i’m surprised at this job list tbh.

7. Do you think aliens are real? - i absolutely do believe that we are not the only life in this big, huge, wide, expansive universe that the planet earth is but a miniscule blip on. there’s definitely other life out there.

8. Can you drive a manual car? - i haven’t driven a car legitimately outside of learning how to drive, but yeh i probably can, since that was what my mom taught me with.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? - junk food and soft drinks, but in general i try not to feel guilty about anything i take pleasure in

10. Tattoos? - none, but i am ACHING for them. i’ve had ideas for a loooong time. one that i DEFINITELY want to get as my first one is part of a letter that i found that my mom wrote for me in high school. “i know that you will be able to stand up for yourself and the world will stop and take notice.” i still have the letter, so i still have it in her handwriting. i want it on the inside of my left forearm.

11. Favorite color? - Pink! lighter/softer/pastel shades are my preferred ones, but i love any shade or hue of pink tbh

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? - i hate fake guilt trips. like, when someone wants me to do something that i can’t do, they’ll come in with like “nah, it’s fine, i’ll just drop all these SUPER IMPORTANT things im doing and go out of my way to do this thing that im asking you to do because i’m SOOOOO sorry that you’re unable to do it yourself” coz it’s like...dude, if you really were able to do that or if you wanted to actually do that, you wouldn’t have asked me to do the thing in the first place. like, you’re clearly just saying that to make me feel bad enough to make me drop everything im doing and do whatever it is you asked me to do. i also hate when ppl fish for compliments by being falsely humble or self-deprecating. like. PLEASE, y’all, i’ve lived with negative amounts of self-esteem for literal decades, i know the difference between actual self-loathing and you just wanting to hear good things about yourself that you don’t want to be called narcissistic for saying about yourself. i know what it sounds like when someone is actually going THRU something or is actually having an actual hard time accepting themselves and/or asking people for what they need as opposed to when someone just wants to be told something. like. don’t insult my intelligence and experiences like that. granted, there are nuances to consider for all of these things, bUT like i said, i know the differences when i see them.

13. Any Phobias? - i have a phobia of drowning that’s light enough to NOT keep me away from water but bad enough to sometimes make watching or listening to scenes where someone could potentially drown to set some triggers off for me. i also just have a really really bad fear of dying because of getting my oxygen cut off, coz that sounds like a really slow, painful way to die.

14. Favorite childhood sport? - i was never really a sports kid. the only sport i ever really enjoyed playing willingly was badminton. i trained for a few summers but never competed, but i got good enough to make games in a court fun. i still have my badminton racquet, it’s the only Legit™ badminton racquet in the house (it’s a Yonex, handed down to me by my trainer, only been restrung twice or thrice coz the last restringing was done so damn well), all the other racquets were inexpensive unbranded knock-offs that were good enough for me and my family to have casual games with.

15. Do you talk to yourself? - yes but mostly as a product of deep focus or concentration, or really heavy emotion. having social media has lessened doing it for the latter since i can just vent on here or on twitter, but when im doing stuff for work that’s hard or needs a lot of focus or concentration, i have full-on stand-up meetings with myself.

16. What movie do you adore? - “Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion.” it’s not a perfect movie by any means, but for someone who was a bullied outcast for much of elementary and high school years in a private, all-girls, Catholic school where everyone was tall and thin and pretty and pale and smart and popular, ALL the things that i wasn’t, it was - is? - like a beacon or a hug.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? - heck yeh, coz solving them makes me feel smart, and not being able to solve them but learning HOW to is so much fun for me.

18. Favorite kind of music? - i don’t know that i have one, to be honest, i haven’t listened to current radio in literal YEARS because i dont own a radio in the condo, i barely watch TV anymore, and i dont spend enough time in a vehicle to really know what’s up. i enjoy pop, hip-hop, rnb, showtunes.

19. Tea or coffee? - more of a coffee person myself, actual tea always just tastes LEGITIMATELY like leaf water to me, and i cant find a liking for it. i do really love sweet tea and milktea tho. but yeh, im mostly a bean juice person.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? - An architect, like my dad. i thought i would be one, up until i discovered writing in high school, and then i thought i wanted to become a journalist until i took it up as my first course in college and hated it. but yeh, it was always “architect! like daddy!” when i was asked that question when i was a kid. i looked up to him so much as a kid, and he and i were super tight when i was younger coz i was his firstborn and a daughter. we used to call each other best friends. i miss those days a lot; things between us seemed simpler, but maybe that’s because i didn’t have the ideals, knowledge and capacity to question the way he loves/loved me as My Parent™. our relationship these days is absolutely skewed and skewered.

#personalciana #Mango Goes to Jail #memeciana

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xueyaang · 5 years

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15 QUESTIONS, 15 MUTUALS

Tagged by @sozotohakai! :)

⭑ are you named after anyone ?

Allegedly, after my Great-Grandfather, named Christian. Paternal or Maternal, I’m not sure. That’s all I know, haha

⭑ when was the last time you cried ?

fucking hell.... every several episodes of Nirvana in Fire!! That show was such a ride. I need to watch it again. What really got me about it was the theme of stories, people, memories, etc... some coming back from the dead and all from the past long buried; everything being readdressed the way it ought to have been. And the best part that strikes me deep - justice and truth and integrity on all different levels is not ignored or thrown aside by those want change. That’s what really got me inspired and moved by this show. And also? Deep meaningful relationships linked by a past that slowly becomes uncovered through the show? The younger generation being upset at the collective disillusionment and passivity of the governing body and wanting change but powerless to do anything about it? fuck, hit me with all that good shit every time and I will betray every single hidden city for you.

Ah, I love Nirvana in Fire. If anyone watches it, please come yell at me about it.

⭑ do you have kids ?

2 cats: one longhair boy by the name of Tyelkormo, and one shorthair tabby with white mittens by the name of Nadia. I love them both <3 No human children, and I would like to keep it that way. But if that’s what My Lady wants, then I will oblige her and make every effort to be a suitable parent.

⭑ do you use sarcasm a lot ?

The amount of spice used and how often is pretty dependent on my mood. I don’t use it over IM or text, usually, because it can be interpreted in unintended ways. Also, if I deem that the personality I’m conversing with will take well to a dry sense of humor, I crank that shit up.

⭑ what’s the first thing you notice about people ?

Their mood or the way they react when I start talking. Theory is that it’s indicative of some anxiety that I can only assume comes from childhood and some form of parental neglect, but the theory is pending.

⭑ what’s your eye color ?

Brown!

⭑ scary movie or happy ending ?

Happy ending. I don’t like to watch scary movies, I don’t enjoy them enough X’D

⭑ any special talents ?

Same as Chris - empathy, probably, but I don’t hold it with that much value; it came at a cost and it actually makes things quite difficult for me X’D Additionally, and much more lately, a more deeply developed sense of intuition. Otherwise, not many other qualities X’D

⭑ where were you born ?

United States

⭑ what are your hobbies ?

Video games, writing rp, discussing stories (characters, plots, archetypes, nuances of relationships no matter platonic, rival, and less interested in romantic) themes!!, characterizations, etc) for just about anything I like, be it video games or books or shows or movies, intellectual discussions about various aspects of geography and recent news (except regional micropolitics, international/strategic politics only-!). I’m trying to get back into reading and cross stitching and learning the basics of embroidery, anything that will get me away from a screen. I’m also trying to enjoy the habit of physical activity again - it’s a really hard habit to build up.

⭑ do you have any pets ?

Mentioned previously. I got Tyelko (grey longhair pretty boy) the days after a funeral of someone i was quite close with, and I got Nadia after I got super angry learning that she was left behind by a family who moved away and left her outside to fend for herself.... she had 7 kittens in the weeks that followed bringing her home. I miss them all ):

⭑ what tattoos / piercings / body mods do you have ?

Lobe piercings. I’d like to get more piercings, but it’s not necessary either personally or culturally (not like my Lady!), and it would be highly impractical to get a piercing unless I took time off work for the healing process (if there isn’t a way to have an invisible post in the piercing?). I want a tattoo quite badly, but I can’t decide what I want or where so it simply hasn’t happened. Some Tolkien heraldy would be hella rad, or tengwar quotes of something motivating (obviously Ñoldorin lol)

⭑ how tall are you ?

If you round up, I’m 5′6″.

⭑ dream job ?

Hm, what I’m already doing, really. It’s been a goal for a very long time, but now that I’m here I haven’t decided what I want to be when I grow up. Possibly what I’m doing now, still as a federal employee but not with the military.

⭑ favorite subject at school?

Non-bio science classes! I adore earth science!! Physical geography, geomorphology and geology? Hnf. Meteorology, physics, dynamics? fuck yeah. Also, languages? That’s my shit.

Tagging: you, if you haven’t done it yet!

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sazandorable · 6 years

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so im gonna do that AAW meme thing! cw: tmi about aza’s thrilling life, some cringey or vaguely depressing/upsetting anecdotes, some happy things in a silly way, and fandom

1. Sunday, 21 October:

o Describe your experience of finding out about asexuality/the ace spectrum. What source(s) did you find it from? How did it feel to find out about asexuality? How did it change your life?

~Sherlock BBC fandom~! /o/ Yeaaaaah.

To be precise, the kink meme, on livejournal. just a random prompt asking for something exploring the arrangement between asexual sherlock and uhhh probably john but tbh i don’t remember that. maybe Irene. I’m almost sure this was right after the Scandal in Belgravia episode had aired, and that episode was why people were playing with the idea of Sherlock being uninterested in sex.

I don’t remember my exact feelings when I read that word, but I do remember that I was delighted at the concept (+ the discussion in the same episode about falling in love outside of your sexual orientation) and immediately convinced, that I jumped into researching asexuality, and that barely a few weeks later I was very deep in contemplating and musing about my own levels of attraction and sorting out all that stuff. I do think I just instantly realized this concept applied to me; I found the AVEN site and its definitions very fast, and grey-a felt good instantly. (I found demi later, and it took me a bit longer to claim it for myself, though I don’t remember much details about that.)

Like, years later I’m very much bitter about and Over™ Sherlock BBC, its writers, and that episode in particular and their stance on the sexualities and orientations of all their characters, but... it did bring me something very precious, that it would have taken me years to find out about otherwise.

It did change my life in that this is when I realized that I really, really, really didn’t have to date, have sex, marry or whatever “one day” if I never wanted to and I wasn’t “late” on anything. Took off a lot of pressure, and also made me stop trying to dub-con myself into accepting things I didn’t actively want just because I didn’t actively hate them.

2. Monday, 22 October:

o Talk about your coming out experience. Of course, one many never be finished coming out, but you could describe how you came out to friends, what reactions you have gotten, how you have felt by coming out, and more.

Mm, two:

not quite coming out, and I don’t remember how it came up, but I mentioned “ok but what about asexuality” at my mother, perhaps a year or two after finding out about it, and she just scoffed and said “that’s not a thing, it’s just being scared of sex,” and I just... froze. Blanked out. Zoned out. Possibly shook a little. This was my first first-hand experience of being just... disacknowledged, erased, denied out of existence, and I had absolutely not expected it, nor the violence of it, nor the casual quality of that violence. I couldn’t say anything in reply, and I don’t think my mother noticed anything at all.

on another hand, I once explained to a gay male friend of mine that, well, I don’t call myself a lesbian, I like girls but I don’t call my super-duper-precious-friend my girlfriend, we are extremely close but we don’t have sex or really date, I’m asexual; and his reaction was “?? THAT’S SO COOL. That fits you! I’m glad for you that you can just do whatever works for you without following conventions about relationships! Cool, great!” and that just made my day.

3. Tuesday, 23 October:

o Describe your experience of confronting stereotypes. There are many stereotypes or expectations of what being on the ace spectrum is like, but of course aspec people are just as diverse as any other group. How have you defied or corrected these stereotypes?

uuhhhhh

Mostly this happens when I talk about asexuality with people who are questioning themselves, explaining the many different flavors it can come in, that yeah you can be asexual at the same time as enjoying sex, masturbating, having fantasies, wanting to date, etc. Not so much smashing established stereotypes, more confirming that nop this thing that you think would “disqualify” you from being asexual doesn’t, actually, you still might be, you’re not “fake”.

4. Wednesday, 24 October:

o Talk about positive representation of aspec people in media which has benefited you or speaks to you strongly. Aspec people are not often represented in media, so it will be nice to see which representations have the strongest impacts.

*STANDS UP, VIBRATING*

TWENTYACETEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year I got two cases of explicit, confirmed, canon, accurate and nuanced representation with central characters in two series that were already extremely close to my heart, and I’m so happy about it!!!!

Spoilers for both fandoms!

1) Shimanami Tasogare: a recently finished manga about LGBT community. In one of the last arcs, we learn that the very central yet mysterious character Anonymous (Dareka-san) is asexual. Like, the character says it, in full letters, and it’s discussed a lot.

Well, it’s more complicated than that, because it’s set in Japan and written in Japanese and Japan has different approaches, concepts and vocabulary around asexuality than English-language; what Anonymous initially describes might be closer to what English-language would call aromanticism. But they also later go “Am I interested in sex, or not? Who knows :)”, with their potential interest in sex represented with them reading porn magazines, and they’ve already expressed that they’re not interested in dating, so as it happens they’re probably both aro and ace (in English terms) anyway. (In the same sequence, they also explain that they might be male, or female, and generally aren’t overly concerned with how people think of them, anything works for them.)

This brings the other characters to think some more about their own desires for love, sex, relationships, human contact... There is a beautiful scene where the main character thinks that knowing this lets him finally understand Anonymous, that this must be why they are so mysterious and detached and fleeting — and Anonymous tells him point-blank that nah. They’re not just their asexuality. Don’t reduce them to that. They’re not “anonymous” because they’re asexual, and vice-versa — those are just two incidental parts of who they are. They are a full person, who just happens to be asexual, and also to enjoy being anonymous and unknown and find freedom in living their life this way.

It was just incredible to read entire chapters dedicated to a central character talking at length about their asexuality, and also how they relate, not only to straight people, but also to queer non-ace people. In the end the main character still doesn’t quite get Anonymous, and that’s how they like it.

2) The Magnus Archives: an ongoing horror podcast that’s casually LGBTQIA-friendly. (Like, a lot of horrible stuff does happen to queer people, but that’s because there’s a lot of them, and I do think that statistically more of them survive than straight people. Equal opportunity horror.) I had been toying with headcanoning the main character Jon as asexual for a variety of reasons for a while, and then in an episode that aired a few months ago a character casually mentioned that “apparently [he] just... doesn’t. At all.” Asked to elaborate, the writer confirmed on twitter that yup, he’s written as asexual (though who knows if Jon would use that word himself, he doesn’t really think about it).

I’m especially delighted because this came up, in context, because Jon has dated. At least once. We know his ex, and she is super chill with him. This reveal also comes up in the same breath as the reveal that a male character seems to have a crush on him, and IMO the show seems to hint that said character is aware that Jon doesn’t do sex, and doesn’t/wouldn’t mind this if they were to date.

Jon did start out as the usual cold, rational, unempathetic character archetype (in fact, he’s very reminiscent of BBC’s Sherlock in early episodes), but by the time this line comes up, the listener knows that he actually cares a lot and is full of emotions. He’s shown to be very, very protective of the people close to him — though also very bad at it. And at expressing it. But, still around the same time of the ace reveal, he is making deliberate efforts to communicate more and value everyone’s feelings. And of course, being the central character, he’s a veeeeery developed character with tons of evolution and nuances, and a huge fandom fave. The reveal that’s he’s asexual has changed exactly nothing in the show; but, like I said, it fits him, he read as asexual to the point that I was suspecting it despite zero real textual evidence until then.

When this episode came out and I heard that line (... I actually had missed it on first listen), I was at work, and I just started almost crying at my desk.

And then I got to go around yelling about it at my fandom friends.

... And at my non-fandom friends.

#asexuality awareness week #aaw #about aza #representation #shimanami tasogare #the magnus archives

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losvcr · 7 years

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falling for you (reddie)

summary: the winter formal is coming around, and everyone is scrambling to find dates. eddie is hoping that maybe the signs richie’s been giving him means that richie will ask him, but is disappointed when he learns that richie has accepted another date.

pairing: reddie

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first reddie writing and one shot (it’s fuckin’ long im sorry, i probs should’ve broke it up in parts), so i hope it’s not too horrible. i haven’t read the book yet, only seen the movie/tv series, so i don’t know all of the nuances yet! i’ll do my best <3 feedback and comments/likes are appreciated and welcomed! oh also. the losers are around 16/17, taking place in modern times. some things might be different but i hope you welcome it

OH. song of the one shot is fallingforyou by the 1975. i listened to it while writing so maybe i’ll get you in the right mood

“gaaaay!” the losers looked over towards the end of their cafeteria table, not one of them surprised to see the person behind the call was none other than richie tozier.

despite richie being the only one to not have the same lunch period as them, he still managed to get out of history to come and bother the gang.

“beep. beep. richie.” stan pronounced each word with a hard pause, a slight glare finding his features as he gripped his boyfriend, bill’s, hand tighter.

“i’m just joking around. don’t get your damn panties in a twist, staniel..” the trashmouth grinned, taking a seat in the spot that he normally sat in - right next to eddie. “besides, everyone knows i ship stenbrough so hard.” a lanky arm was tossed around eddie’s shoulders, one which he shrugged off just as quickly in protest of his behavior.

everyone was used to richie’s antics, and ignored them for the most part. though, that hardly ever stopped tozier from continuing them. “mike, have you found a date to the winter formal yet?” beverly questioned across the table, leaning into ben’s side as his eyes glossed over homework reading instead of focusing on the lunch in front of him.

ahh. winter formal. in a small town like derry, maine, a school dance was something highly anticipated. buzz generally began weeks before.

“i’m stuck between rosie and taylor. you guys think they’d be down for a threeway date?”

as it was now, bill and stan, and ben and bev were supppsed to be attending the dance as couples, respectively. the only three without dates was richie, eddie, and mike.

the dance was only a week out, and eddie found himself shifting uncomfortably at the talk of the dance. he wasn’t sure that he would attend, but a huge part of him was hoping that he would be forced to go if a certain someone asked him to be their date.

“sure they would! who wouldn’t want some mclovin from you, mike? be careful, though. having two love interests can get preeeetty messy. eds and his mom would know.”

a frown crossed eddie’s face as he shoved richie’s shoulder gently. “beep beep richie! and don’t call me that! y’know i hate it when you call me that.” the frown on eddie’s face didn’t quite match the now hammering of his heart after registering that richie had identified him as a love interest. maybe eddie was reading too much into his joking. maybe richie’s increased flirting and touches was just him trying to be more annoying than usual.

“are you and eddie p-planning on g-g-going to the dance?” bill questioned, shooting a knowing look in both richie and eddie’s direction, causing eddie’s cheeks to lightly flush a pink while averting his gaze down onto his untouched food.

richie turned his attention on eddie, a small smile finding his lips as he stared at the pretty, small, teenage boy. it had taken him a few days to decide whether he wanted to go big with his formal date invitation to eddie or not.

it would have been his first time asking eddie out.

in the end, he decided that smaller was better. eddie wasn’t one to desire the attention of everyone in the school, even though it was like first nature for richie to do everything big and loudly. in the end, eddie’s comfort with the situation was all that mattered to him - that, and if his friend said no, it would be a quiet rejection that wouldn’t embarrass him in front of everyone.

“yeah, big bill. i totally plan on it. while it’s tempting to try and outdo your big poster you made for stan, i have taste, bill.” richie took in a deep breath; it was now or never, wasn’t it?

what had eddie’s eyes snapping up from his food was hearing richie start up with an “eddie, will you–”, which caused his heart to start thumping hard in his chest once again. was he finally gonna get the invitation he had been hoping for? except, it never came.

instead, richie cut off when he was tapped on the shoulder, seeing popular and pretty girl priscilla white standing there, looking as if she was going to break at any second. “hey richie, think i could talk to you for a second?”

—

the days swept by fast, and before anyone could blink, it was saturday night. the night of the dance.

“eddie, make sure to stay out of trouble! no drinking, and no drugs! call me as soon as you’re on your way home so that i can know that you’re safe.”

eddie adjusted the bow of his tie and got out a dejected “alright, ma”, before he walked out to get into bill’s car, squeezing into the back seat with beverly and ben.

he almost wasn’t going to go. why would he want to go to the dance when he was the only loser without a date? the only reason he was going was because bill had somehow convinced him. now he sat in the backseat of the car, feeling like a bit of a fifth wheel.

it wasn’t long before they’d reached their high school, and were making their way to the winter-themed gymnasium. almost as soon as they walked inside, eddie felt himself wanting to turn back.

it was jammed packed with the moving bodies of his fellow peers, and the music was unbelievably loud. quickly, he checked into his pocket to make sure his inhaler was there. while he didn’t use it as often anymore after finding out about his asthma being psychosomatic, he still felt the need to have it just in case.

“mike! richie!” eddie made a point of holding onto beverly’s wrist as they pushed through the crowds to get to the tables, his eyes finally adjusting to the flashing lights and landing on the missing two of the seven. mike sat with two girls on either arm, and richie sat next to priscilla, the lanky arm that usually sat on his shoulder sitting on priscilla’s. eddie felt like he would throw up any second.

richie’s leg bounced nervously up and down as he awkwardly sat next to priscilla, counting down the seconds when the rest of their friends would show up. it wasn’t until he heard his name that he looked up, seeing that their crew had made it.

automatically, his eyes searched for the familiar curls and brown eyes of eddie, feeling frozen when he finally found him. he was wearing a pink tux shirt and a pair of black dress pants that were a bit too long, but still - he looked fucking amazing.

“eddie.” richie spoke up slowly, waiting to get his attention. “you look…” before he could finish, eddie was walking past him and sitting as far away as he could possibly get. ouch. was eddie upset with him?

before he could ask, he felt priscilla squeezing his arm gently, leaning in to talk in his ear. “now’s a good time to dance.” he heard her whisper urgently, and before he could protest, she was grabbing his wrist tightly and dragging him towards the dance floor.

of course, she’d want to dance on a slow song. he did not want to deal with priscilla right now. he wanted to go back over and talk to his best friend. but he didn’t have a chance to once she wrapped her arms around his neck, urging him to dance with him.

hesitantly, richie placed his hands on her hips, hoping not to get too intimate with her as they swayed back and forth. however, priscilla seemed to have other plans. he would have tried to pull back if he had known it was coming, but he wasn’t as quick as he thought he was; out of nowhere, priscilla was kissing him on the lips.

his eyes widened in surprised, and by the time he’d gotten his wits about it, he was pushing her away. ”what the hell are you doing?! i thought we agreed!” he complained in a loud whisper, his gaze turning towards the table just in time to see eddie bolting away and running out the doors. “fuck. i gotta go.”

“wait, richie, don’t–”

he didn’t wait to hear what she had to say. instead, he found himself chasing after eddie. by the time he got outside, he saw the familiar ford pulling out of the parking lot and driving off. “fuck, fuck, fuck. think, trashmouth. where would he go?” after a few moments of bumbling, panicky thinking, richie finally realized exactly where eddie went.

—

so maybe it wasn’t so bright for him to take bill’s keys from beverly’s purse without permission, but eddie just needed to get out of there. after seeing richie and priscilla kiss out on the dance floor, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

he just kept wondering what he had done to deserve that sort of heartbreak twice in a row.

while any other night he would have never ventured out into the woods by himself, tonight was different. he couldn’t go home because his mom would ask a billion questions and probably assume the worse - so, he went to the next best thing. his and richie’s treehouse.

they had stumbled upon the abandoned structure one day while exploring together, and had made it their own. in all honesty, eddie loved to be there more than he liked to be home.

once making it inside of the familiar structure and turning on the lights, eddie sent out a text to bill to assure him that he would bring the car back before the dance was over - he just needed to get away, breathe, and quietly cry to himself.

as if to torture himself more, eddie put on a playlist that richie had made of some of his favorite song, laying on the makeshift bed and allowing the tears to drip from his cheek and nose and onto the sheets below him.

not even fifteen minutes into his self pitying party did he hear loud snaps and cracks from the latter below, causing him to shoot up into a sitting position with widened eyes as chills of fear ran up and down his spine. eddie could remember feeling this fear only once, though he couldn’t quite pin why he had been this scared before. he looked around for any weapon he could use, and just as he was getting ready to accept his fate, a head of dark curls appeared in the opening.

never had he thought he’d be so relieved to see richie.

“holy shit, richie. you scared the fuck out of me.” eddie berated, taking in shallow breaths before reaching for his inhaler and using it as richie awkwardly pushed himself inside. “what’re you doing here? i thought you were having a great time making out with priscilla white.” he got out bitterly.

“sorry… fuck… i’m so winded, give me a second, eds…”

“what? did you run all the way here or something?” eddie quickly reached up, attempting to get rid of the evidence of tear streaks on his cheeks and nose. he was so startled by the idea of richie seeing him crying that he didn’t even scold him for ‘eds’.

however, once richie was able to sit up straight, he could see the redness of eddie’s eyes and the tip of his nose. his heart twisted violently in his chest at the sight of this, feeling even more like shit.

“eddie, please. just let me explain.”

eddie watched as richie sat up, his face red from exertion and glasses fogged with heat. the boy really needed to stop smoking those cigarettes. however, his eyes couldn’t help but take in the freckles dotting his nose, those chapped, but somehow still tempting lips, and the black suit that seemed somewhat baggy on his gangly frame. it was hard to focus on the bagginess when a person got a hit of his hawaiian themed tux shirt, however.

“what is there to explain, richie? there’s nothing to say. i don’t understand why you ditched your date to come here.”

“i saw you run… just listen, alright? priscilla.. she doesn’t mean anything to me–”

“oh yeah, likely story, richie. you took her to the dance, and gave her a nice, big one. i really believe she means nothing to you.” richie sighed softly, moving closer to eddie. it surprised him that he could faintly here sweater weather in the background, but he couldn’t focus on that right now.

“okay, first of all, i didn’t kiss her. she kissed me.” he nearly facepalmed himself after saying that, but he rushed to continue on before eddie could try and retort. “second of all, you never let me tell you why i took priscilla to the dance. the reason i took her was because… okay. when she pulled me aside that day at lunch, she started… crying….”

it was stupid, yes, but richie didn’t know how to handle seeing someone else cry, especially when it came to the female population and people he cared about. it tugged at some sort of strings in his heart he hadn’t been aware existed.

“and she started complaining that that wanker of an ex boyfriend, bradley tether-” richie visibly rolled his eyes. if another henry bowers existed at their school, it would definitely be bradley. “would be taking someone else and she wanted to make him jealous. and you know how that dickhead feels about me. so being the chivalrous guy that i am, i wanted to help her get revenge…”

eddie stared at richie blankly, trying to process what the other male was saying. as ridiculous as it all sounded, was it true? was it really just a ploy to make someone jealous, rather than richie preferring to go to the dance with priscilla?

“but eddie… i didn’t want to go to the dance with her. i wanted to go with you. i was gonna ask you before priscilla interrupted.” richie finally said outloud, chewing on his lower lip in nervousness at this admission. this was his first time admitting his feelings for eddie outloud to eddie.

all eddie could do was blink in shock after hearing that, the hammering in his chest returning full blast. so richie did want to go to the dance with him.

“you’re not kidding, are you?”

after a moment, a song came on in the background that made richie perk up slightly, causing a sudden thought to pop up in his head. richie popped up to his feet, holding a hand out towards the other boy. “dance with me, eddie.” he whispered, causing eddie to stare at him in confusion.

“what are you–”

“beep beep eddie!” richie shot at him teasingly, causing eddie’s cheek to light up slightly. “stop talking and dance with me. please.”

eddie stared up at the tall boy hesitantly before finally grasping his hand, and standing up to his feet. he had never danced with anyone like this before, so eddie waited awkwardly for richie to take the lead. once he felt richie’s arms wrap snuggly around his waist, he let out a soft gasp, his arms automatically finding solace around his shoulders as he laid his head on richie’s chest.

richie placed his chin on top of eddie’s head, and slowly, they swayed back and forth to the beat of the song eddie wasn’t familiar with. it didn’t matter to him, though. he knew richie loved it. in fact, richie was singing along quietly to it.

“don’t you see me? i, i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you. and don’t you need me? i, i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you.” richie had a beautiful voice that eddie loved. the first time he heard his voice, it had been at richie’s house one day while he was in the shower, unaware that eddie had come over and heard. he had begged and pleaded with eddie not to tell anyone, going as far as to make him take a blood oath. in all honesty, he hadn’t planned on telling anyone anyway - it was a richie secret that he wanted to be the only one in the knowing of for as long as possible. besides, he was more shocked that richie was shy about it more than anything.

eddie felt himself growing more emotional as the song continued, his arms tightening around richie as he listened to the boy sing melodically along. he almost couldn’t believe this was actually happening. maybe this was all a dream.

“i don’t wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck.”

at the same time, they pulled back slightly to look at each other, eddie’s eyes red once more and filled with tears of emotion. richie smiled down at him, reaching up to brush some curls away eddie’s face before he took the leap of faith - he leaned down and pressed his lips to eddie’s soft, warm ones.

both their minds went blank for a moment, swirling with a sudden togetherness.

their lips fit perfectly and moved together in sync, richie’s tongue grazing eddie’s lower lip as if to ask for permission to deepen the connection. the kiss continued for what seemed like forever, before eddie pulled back to stare up at richie in breathless awe.

“i think i’m falling for you too, trashmouth.”

————-

GOD THIS WAS UNGODLY LONG. I’M SO SORRY. not only that but i’m a piece of shit who didn’t bother to edit. but pls read and give feedback!

#I HATE MYSELF UGH #i hope i don't end up deleting this #reddie #reddie fanfiction #reddie fanfic #my reddie fanfiction #it #it movie #it 2017 #the losers club #fanfic #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stenbrough #benverly #100+#*mine

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nebulawriter · 6 years

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Black Panther

WAIT BEFORE YOU SCROLL AWAY! If you like this blog, some news: I recently got a moviepass, which means I will be watching a lot more movies, I’m hoping to make it one movie per week, which means one movie REVIEW per week. I’m not sure what I want to do with television right now, though, so we’ll deal with that later.

ANYWAY as all the early reviews have told you this was a really good character driven, socially aware, well plotted, well crafted movie.

I mean I think it kinda had to be, right? The first major black superhero movie? Granted I only saw it a little bit ago, but it’s hard to find flaws. but I want to start with that so I can talk about the characters, since they’re the centerpoint of the film.

I mean I guess it’s not...the most complicated plot? I’m sure that was done intentionally so they could focus on showcasing the world and the characters and everything else, but...I mean its pretty predictable for the most part.

Tied into that there was a lot of pretty on the nose exposition? but that was needed to explain the world and properly set things up and. Yeah, it was fine.

Oh and there was one character death that was kinda unnecessary.

Other than that? Yeah it was pretty solid.

Killmonger: As you may have heard, this is one of the best villains marvel has put forward. I mean, it’s not the highest bar, basically he’s hanging out with Vulture, Hela, and Loki in the “best marvel villains” tent. I will disagree with some critics that he’s the BEST part of the movie or something like that (especially with like...*gestures to all the other characters*) but yeah he has a ‘point’ and some excellent political commentary and he’s got a cool look to him. Marvel has successfully saved another ex-human torch, because he does some wonderful acting that really stands out playing against the other characters. Personally I’m not quite behind the trend to make sure villains “have a point” but “take it too far” because I feel like that treads dangerously into just having the marginalized being villains for the heroes, and then we get into the “bad” marginalized people and....okay thats a complaint for the trope in general, THIS movie doesn’t do too much to contribute to that. I mean it’s a thing but he’s still a good character and a bad...person...and I get that. Actually a part of me wants to write something up about what really ‘Made’ him a villain, because I think it was more America than Wakanda, but that might not be for me to do.

Klaue: Andy Serkis steps out of his motion capture suit to give a....well it was still a pretty animated performance. I think if he were the ‘main’ villain he would have gotten annoying, but as a side villain he played off Killmonger well. Did not expect him to die, mostly cause I thought Marvel was gonna keep him on, but kudos, movie. Though I wasn’t happy Killmonger’s girlfriend died, that felt unnecessary.

W’Kabi & Okoye: This will probably be more about Okoye because Heck Yeah but I love the duality in morals presented with these two, especially as they’re presented as lovers. Both are close to T’Challa, but both end up betraying him for Killmonger at the halfway point (ish. Not really a betrayal. just. On Killmonger’s side) and it’s so clear that Okoye does this for her love of Wakanda, and when Killmonger did things according to the rules of Wakanda, Okoye followed him, even if she didn’t like it. Very Lawful. W’Kabi, though, wanted what Killmonger could offer, and when the chips fell, went to war over it. These two also were the leaders of the armies that fought in the finale, so it was very interesting to see these two as opposites. Also, though OKOYE!!! DAMN I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! LIKE DAMN!

M’Baku: Don’t have much to say on him, other than I guess the one thing that wasn’t predictable was the good guys coming to these guys for help, but it made narrative sense, and it was nice to see that he was just....legitimately doing what he thought was right, the traditionalist to Shuri’s progressiveness. I wonder what he thinks about the end of the movie.

Zuri: Yeah I called his death the second he was on screen.

Ramonda: I actually called her death too, but was gladly surprised. Woo!

Everett Ross: I did not expect to like Martin Freeman in this. It’s weird hearing him with an American Accent. He might be the weakest character in the movie, but that doesn’t quite feel like a flaw, he was....a plot point. And it was nice seeing the white guy being a plot point.

Nakia: I admit, it took me a bit to stop just thinking of her as Lupita Nyong’o, but I loved her, I loved that she was always right, I thought her romance with T’Challa was adorable, and she was badass. Absolutely the moral center of the film and I dug it.

Shuri: !!!!!!!! The comic relief of the film, clearly more in touch with the outside world than most, but she had respect for Wakanda and traditions and such. Her dynamic with her brother was amazing (actually, T’Challa’s dynamic with all the women were amazing, but we’ll get to that) She was smart and witty and brought some great levity to the film. Plus....awesome. IDK.

T’Challa: A solid man, a good king, I like him. I mean that was basically it was just following him as he faced some pretty damn tough decisions. And then everything went to hell in a handbasket and. Whoops. But yeah, he was awesome, and a great person to have at the center of all the wild personalities listed above. Woo!

Wakanda: What an amazing world. I know so little of African culture I can’t really speak to a lot of it but I appreciate all the touches of it, and....okay I really appreciated that the tribes were color coded that. that helped a lot. But yeah holy shit that was amazing to see.

(Sidenote, Theory for Infinity Wars: I’m betting that inside that Comet of Vibranium that’s made Wakanda so rich is in fact the Soul Stone. That’s my guess anyway. I dunno, if I were an alien trying to keep one of the Infinity Stones away from Thanos, wrapping it in a giant ball of Really Tough Metal and launching it into space (where it might have accidentally hit a measly planet like Earth) seems like a good idea.) (But the Wakandans in their new trading initiative dug too greedily and too deep and will probably find it and accidentally reveal its location to Thanos. Whoops. Can’t wait to see all the tribes united, fighting together, WITH the Avengers)

The Social Commentary: Im willing to put money on the idea that the mid-credit scene was written after 45′s election, because you could almost tell they were ust... desperately trying not to say the word “wall.”

As it was, yeah, this movie was directed towards a specifically African American audience, and I say African American instead of Black here because a lot of it is focused on America’s race problems (not to say other countries around the world DONT have that, but it was very America focused, which, for a movie made by Americans, makes sense.

Anyway, as I am NOT African American, or a racial minority of any sort, I cannot speak to this with any nuance and can just say “Good.” Like, thumbs up, with my understanding of it, I’m all in favor of black communities a) helping each other out and b) getting stronger in general. If anything, I think a lot of the white characters in the movie could have been held more accountable, and considering Ross was right there they could have done something with that. but hey, they kept their focus, I’m good.

The plot: Like I said, kinda predictable (did you really expect me to believe T’Challa was dead?) but I....don’t care. It was tight, like, no holes that I can think of though I’m sure the internet will think of some.

Oh, and Bucky’s still in Wakanda. We kinda knew that but ‘kay.

I really want to see Luke Cage working with the New York Wakandan Outreach Initiative, and/or going to Wakanda. I just think that’d be neat.

Wait, actually, thats it. T’Challa vs. Killmonger reminded me of Luke Cage vs.....shit what was his name, his half brother. Like, finding out his Dad was Wrong and now dealing with a villain his Dad created.

Am I missing anything? I think that covers all the stuff.

#black panther

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stillsolo · 6 years

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vin i love you. i love you and i love your han so much it hurts me. you have a complexity to your writing that i don't see in a lot of places, and whether you're writing with me or whether i get to see you write with other people, it's absolutely a joy every single time, and every single time i'm blown away by how incredibly brilliant you are, and how nuanced your characterization is, and by how much you CARE. you're so great, and i love you and your han so so so much

i’m keeping your message forever. let me just say you almost made me cry because it means the world coming from someone like you. sadflkjsadf. i love you and i love lando so very much. it’s difficult to articulate—honestly, i feel like i haven’t given you enough appreciation on my blog? i need like a big ass spotlight to shine down on me and charley right now ok and just some soft jazz as bg music but not the kind that’s cringy because i’m seriously cringy enough as it is @ofcloudcities

so, let me tell y’all the story of how I met charley.

I was about two and a half weeks into writing han when she followed me under a different url. she had donald’s face as her fc. I think by that time, they’d already cast him as lando but shit, like? I hadn’t seen any landos before her.

after immediately body slamming the follow button, I completely ignored my usual anxiety when it comes to talking to … any new mutual, and bombed her inbox instead of her IMs ( need I reiterate that i’m a shy weenie ). from then on, my skills as a writer … jumped drastically. there’s no other way to explain it.

As most of y’all know, english isn’t my first language; i learned what english tenses were around feb2016. in my native language, we only have present tense in both writing and speaking. I had learned past tense writing first and was somewhat comfortable with it, but there was still so much for me to learn ( I’m still learning every day ).

…cue charley and her amazing handle on present tense writing. It’s nuts guys—completely nuts. her writing is whack. writing with charley taught me more than any grammar books had.

might i mention charley has a habit of jumping blogs and making lots of muses? there was a time she juggled nearly five different blogs and stayed active. wtf? AND she has school, hw, work etc. point is, despite all that, her writing, to me, has always been the definition of flow—smooth sailing, and she pens it down so so effortlessly that I can’t help but look up to her? I want to write like her someday; i want that flow. her writing inspires me.

although i enjoy seeing her on her other blogs, i can’t tell you the number of times I’d jumped at the sight of her logging into lando! i never minded waiting for the two, three months it took for charley to rotate back to lando because to me, and i know this is probably cheesy and stupid, it was a chance for me to get better at writing english, just so i could impress her sdSJFKK for real oh my god. as much as i’d miss having charley and lando around, i thought of it as the perfect time to learn more

waiT WAIT DID I MENTION SHE ALSO SHE COMPLETELY SOLD ME ON OUR SHIP?

plus, their love is Pure. to this day, we’ve kept our ship afloat without any nsf.w, save for some cracky implications on the dash but c'mon! that’s not something you see too often. we’ve kept it afloat with angst. LMAO lots and lots of heartwrenching angst and plenty of sassy, sarcastic remarks.

wait this is so long what the fuck

..OKAY. I didn’t mean to make it this long but it’s happened and i’m not going to delete anything. although scattered af, these are my initial, sincere thoughts.

i’m so fucking proud to have charley as a friend. ♥

…. I LOVE YOU CHARLEY IM SO SORRY THIS IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG

#ofcloudcities #˒・*。◞ ( answered ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ‚ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ.#( . i actually stopped and went 'wait this is... really long what tf'#( . im so sorry i have a tendency to waffle on about people sjdfklsdf #( . also just everywhere tonight haha no regrets tho

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renmaru · 5 years

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you know. sometimes i love something a lot so i need to scream about the things that piss me off about it. i don’t think this is a particularly negative post but it’s just like sheer frustration and if you dont get some satisfaction from articulating your frustration into tumbler dot coms longposts and destroying the capital of this website because you are not a gemini sun then like fair i guess feel free to disregard this. tonbokiris kiwame is cool go look at that.

now to the lukewarm tea ive been simmering for five years. the one thing i always think about all the time is that tkrb is a popular game despite itself. the piss poor gameplay with only the barest of bare QoL in the five years its been up, the seeming complete lack of direction and the frankly nonexistent worldbuilding is held up purely because of its attention to detail and reverence to the original culture and history of the swords combined with some very good character design and subtle but nuanced character writing that can be openly interpreted. just enough flavour to imply something larger but chickening out on actually making anything y’know. concrete. basically allowing the fans to draw their own conclusions. but even then a game like that would not survive cause there have been countless, hundreds of games with high quality and fervent attention to detail and respect for the source material that just died completely because they have such little to actually offer in terms of engagement. i think the main thing that bugs me about tkrb is that it has one of THE most creative, dedicated and strong fanbases of this genre of game who go out of their way to engage with any and all of the content and the devs seem kind of oblivious to this.

in comparison to modern gacha style games, touken ranbu releases barely any new content and frequently recycles content but somehow it’s still relatively popular with approx. 1mil active players daily but the maddening thing is that tkrb can reach much MUCH further. the fans are there, the curiosity is there, it’s just the game content is not fucking there. it does not put the effort into commissioning seasonal art, pushing new events with actual plotline/story content, creating promotional materials, tie-ins etc. but somehow its still in the top 5 comiket circles for nearly five fuckin years straight. here are your badley compiled receipts: c89(w2015), c90(s2016), c91(w2016), c92(s2017), c93(w2017), c94(s2018), c95(w2018), c96(s2019)

it can launch itself from laughably low in the appstore ratings, hovering in the middle of the 200′s to TOP 30s in the appstore at the flick of a switch. what is this magic button that fucking quadruples revenue and skyrockets your app into the top 50 grossing apps? 3/4 of your characters getting static CGs that you cannot use at all anywhere in the game but will do a powerpoint transition and appear for 5 seconds at login. oh and like a few free mats i guess. and i kid you not it fuckin worked.

wanna know why that worked? it’s cause otherwise characters, especially fan favourites just don’t get anything at all. it’s like most characters outside of the very popular ones rarely get new art, new recollections, new anything outside of their kiwame upgrade which is more often than not years down the line and only recently, four years in, they decided to add alternate costumes but even then there’s a catch which has me feeling some kind of way.

and yes, i fully understand that tkrb is a multi-media franchise, i get that it’s got its fingers in so many pies like the stageplay, musicals, various manga anthologies, the animes, hell its even got live action but man, would it hurt to give some love in game? i’m not asking them to go full fgo route and commission the industry creme de la creme to make 6 full CE illustrations, lots of promo art and tonnes of new merch every single month. but the fact is for such a big franchise, reusing the same sprite art on nearly every piece of official merch, going so far as to add NEW costume art which is just the heads of the old default sprites edited onto new bodies? it screams cost cutting, it screams lazy, the path of minimum effort. it’s almost like the game itself and the original materials are an absolute afterthought at this point with only the most dedicated hanging on to it. i guarantee that the majority of people still playing tkrb are the committed day1 players and the actual rekijou cause it’s just painfully offputting to new fans, with other fans even going out of their way to specify the game is not integral to enjoying the series which sucks, but it’s true.

its a real damn shame to think that something you are so invested in is not particularly invested in itself. sometimes, just sometimes i wish they dev team for tkrb was more hands-on, more adventurous, more willing to listen to players, invest in the game and genuinely try and make the game the best it can be. i’m not asking for balls to the wall summer events, beautiful animated CMs from the likes of the industries best animators, i’m not asking for pages of supplemental lore compiled into books, character backstory novels or whatever i’m just asking for the lore and the characters that we love to sometimes occasionally be remembered in the actual game outside of like ... the two years between their kiwame and the vague possibility of a recollection. i want to feel like this game puts as much effort into itself as the fans do towards it.

it’s a painful truth but there’s one shining light which is that the fandom for tkrb is genuinely one of the most committed and transformative ones ive ever seen. i have never been involved with a fandom that varies so widely and puts in so much effort for these characters and this world. tkrb exists solely as a popular franchise due to the sheer legwork of the fans carrying it on their backs collaboratively. ultimately, tkrb is very very lore-light, there’s so much thats missing and the characters in-game rarely rarely interact with each other. the characters are contained solely in however many voice lines they get at implementation, their kiwame letters, and their updates kiwame lines and the only interaction they get with other swords is recollections or depending on the sword, the odd custom sparring lines.

but despite that there has been so much fan effort to explore everything in so many different varied ways, and amazingly there are certain tropes, relationships, lore etc. that have started off fanon and become canon. the fan community, especially the fanartists, doujins, writers, animators etc. being given a small indulgence by the anime is one of my favourite things about tkrbs relationship with its fanbase. that’s not to say that the fans dont give back in kind a hundred fold.

there’s so much i love about tkrb fans going out of their way to go SEE historical swords in japan, single-handedly reforging swords using crowdfunding and revitalising lots of small-town tourism having real world impact. shit makes me unbelievably happy. the stage plays and musicals are always met with warm reception and are always well attended and even though its hard to access, there are lots of western fans who have dived into a whole new MEDIUM that most of us arent really familiar with but out of their love for tkrb theyve done that. they have hosted the musical as far out as india and france, making tkrb a truly worldwide franchise and there theyve met full seats! as far out as india! then theres the fantranslators, who always have the drive the commitment and energy for the thankless work, the wiki always always is well maintained and they have new content up so fast, and there are so many people willing to help you out. even when crunchyr*ll got hanamaru s2 (i think) a week late and we were left without subs for the premier episode for a whole ass week, fantranslators who had never subbed before stepped up to translate a whole episode for FREE, encoding, subbing and timing it all despite never having done so just so others could understand the episode faster than cr*nchy themselves could. even, as well, it’s made so many history nerds out of a whole bunch of people, it’s created an appreciation for nihontou and japanese history that would otherwise probably never be in their orbit because of how inaccessible it is, especially in english. even on a personal note, i started learning japanese primarily so i could understand tkrb and the history behind it better and to read jp fanart/interact with fanartists.

no matter what, i am forever warmed by how much i love tkrb and its fanbase and im glad that tkrb is still going strong, even despite itself sometimes and i hope that moving on tkrb tries new things, and becomes better for everyone.

#rentxt #i started off grouchy but now my heart is warm #thats just how touken ranbu works babey #you know sometimes i think about how tkrb fans reforged hotarumaru and i get teared up

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