Jason not showing up to Dick and Babs's recognition ceremony but still watching them on TV.

Nightwing (Vol. 4) #113

Also saw you're doing requests so yay!!. Any chance of jercy bakery au? Love your work sm hope you have a great day ☺☺

My Darling Anon how dare you make me fall more in love with Jercy???????? I squealed when i saw this and then promptly started writing even though i should be studying for my (ironically) Greek Mythology test.

i hope you love it because if i fail at least i know it’ll be worth it :) Also this was honestly supposed to be a quick drabble and it somehow ended up as 1,5K+ words so??? #isanyonesurprisedthough

Masterlist

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason Grace smiled as the birds beside his head chirped and then swiped his phone to cut off the amusing sound. His fiery friend, and co-worker thought it was hilarious to steal his phone and change his alarm tone every few weeks. Usually it was something inane and silly like a cartoon laugh track or just a repeating “It’s time to get up BakerBoi” that gets increasingly louder. He had arrived to work with a scowl on his face only to see the shit-eating grin of Leo Valdez waiting at the door.

Now Jason stumbles out of bed, letting his limbs loosen as he pads softly to the bathroom, feeling cool tile and a winter breeze on his exposed skin. He loves mornings like this, when the world isn’t quite awake, and the sky hasn’t decided what colour it wants to be for the day. He knows in is baker’s bones that it’ll be cold and rainy, but he has time for a morning jog before the world starts crying.

“Good morning boss,” A bright eyed, fidgeting Leo greets as he steps into the bakery.

Jason had been there at seven thirty, pulling down the café chairs and cleaning the counters. He already had a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies and about three different types of muffins in the oven. The bread was waiting for the busy hands of Leo and Hazel who somehow always seemed to make heavenly fluffed, soft rolls and the deliciously crusty baguettes. Hazel jokes that it’s the New Orleans blood that flows through her veins. They’re all half inclined to agree.

“Morning Valdez, I like the alarm this week.” He tosses a grin over his shoulder before going back to his icing ritual. Mix, taste, mix, ice.

“I figured you would old man. Even though i much prefer my ASMR food audio from last week. What’s the specialty today?”

“We need to get beignets out and the pain au chocolats before the breakfast crowd. Also the fruit stuffed pastry twists and the honey bread have to be prepped before we open so we can bring them out hot in time for the brunch crowd. Specialty today is a new thing I’ve been working on. Blue blondie doughnuts with Oreo cream filling and sugar glaze.”

“Gods boss, you tryna give people heart failure?”

“Just trying to insert some sweetness into the world,” He winked.

Before Leo could give an undoubted snarky reply a bubbly head of dark brown curls and glittering eyes popped around the door.

“Goooood morning everyone,”

Jason couldn’t help the smile that graced his face at her cheeriness, “Hello Miss Levesque, glad to see a prettier face around here,”

Leo made a strangled noise of indignation from the other side of the kitchen but didn’t get the chance to voice his offense before the last member of their little group walked in.

“Ah there you are Miss McLean, I do wonder how you arrive with Hazel and still manage to get in after her.”

She gave him an exasperated look, “I have to say goodbye to my girlfriend before I come in Boss. You’re the one who banned couple calls in the bakery.”

“Well maybe if we didn’t have to hear you and Annabeth explicitly planning your night’s activities I wouldn’t have had to do that.”

Piper just rolled her eyes and went to grab her apron and a cloth to wipe down the tables.

"Everyone ready?" He asked, from the door of the kitchen an hour later.

"Ready for the storm boss," They all yelled back, as they did each morning.

"Then let's roll like thunder," He grinned, flinging the doors to Ambrosia Bakery open.

"Oh thank the heavens, I could smell the goodness from here and it was a struggle to keep the drool in," One Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano breathed in deep.

"Good morning my favourite customer," Leo smirked from behind the counter.

"Jason tell your bread boy to stand down before I make him,"

"Is that an invitation?" Dark eyebrows wiggled in amusement.

"That is a threat," She growled.

"Well mark me down as scared and h—"

"Valdez I swear if you finish that sentence I'm putting you on wash-up duty for the next week."

A faint "you got it boss" followed Jason into the kitchen, where he allowed himself to smile. It was an ongoing amusement that Leo flirted with Reyna and in return she came up with increasingly terrifying threats.

"Jason, your sister is here to see you" Hazel said, gently shoving him out the way so she could take over rolling the pastry.

"Get the doughnuts ready for the fryer I'll be back soon, thank you!"

He maneuvered around a blushing Leo who had icing on his nose and a suspicious lipstick stain on his cheek, finally making his way to the confectioners stand.

"What's up loser?" He said by way of greeting.

"Hey you're only allowed to call me that if you come baring nice things." Thalia Grace frowned.

"I am nice things," He pouted.

"Not even on your best day." She snorted, "I want to know if you're coming to the gala this weekend. I need a date to steal extra bread-sticks for me."

"Why can't I just make you bread-sticks and we can sit in your lounge and watch bad reality TV?" He groaned

"Because I have to show face or the sponsors aren't going to sponsor. Besides you need a night out. You're gonna start smelling like bread if you don't take a break."

"It's insulting that you think I wouldn't want to smell like breadsticks."

She laughed at, that ruffling his hair, "Just be ready by seven. You better be wearing a suit."

And with that his sister had grabbed her daily croissant and cappuccino and vanished into the drizzling day.

Before he could make it back to his safe haven beside the ovens and marbled counter-tops a flash of black hair caught his eye.

Turning around he couldn't contain the grin that tugged at his lips; standing by the counter already staring intently at the newest creation was Jason's favourite customer.

"Hello Percy Jackson,"

"Jason," A dazzling smile revealed pearl white teeth and the tiniest dimple on a cheek the color of rich toffee.

"I see you've already found Neptune's Tridoughnut,"

A bright laugh escaped a wickedly beautiful mouth, "Oh I love that. How'd you come up with that one?"

Jason smiled softly, debating whether to tell the owner of the 5-Oceans Conservation Company that he was the muse behind all of his latest creations, hence the variations of green and blue.

Instead, as he did every time Percy asked, he lied, "My sister went to an opening ceremony for a new exhibit at the Education center all about Mythology so I thought I’d offer my services and well, they were a hit."

Piper who was walking past at that exact moment coughed something that sounded suspiciously like "Liar" but with a pointed glare she disappeared behind the counter.

"That sounds great. Guess I'll have to recruit you for all my functions," He winked, a small smirk playing at his lips.

Jason cursed his pale cheeks and hoped the blush he now sported wasn't too noticeable, "What can I get you besides a specialty doughnut?"

"Can I get one banana and walnut muffin, a dozen chic chips, and I'm gonna go see mom this afternoon so maybe a couple of caramel pastry twists and some blueberry muffins?"

"Sure. I guess Estelle is off her carrot cake faze?" He laughed, remembering how Percy had to stop at the bakery twice a week to grab carrot and pecan mini cakes just for his little sister.

"Ugh she's onto wanting fruit in absolutely everything now so my mom has been frantically buying boxes of peaches, strawberries and apples to cut up and send with her for lunch at school." Green eyes rolled in fake annoyance.

"Well if she likes fruit things maybe she should try the raspberry and orange pastry twists?" He pointed to a display stand piled with various pastries coloured by blackberry jam, apricot pieces, kiwi slices and mango syrup.

"I could kiss you right now!" Percy exclaimed rushing towards the display, unaware that the baker was frozen to the spot.

I could kiss you, could kiss you, kiss you, kiss...

Jason's brain had short-circuited, his neurons too busy having a dance party with his hormones to process the world.

I could kiss you.

A lazy, unconscious smile took over his face as he stood there in the middle of his bakery, arms slack, head lolled, and eyes crinkled.

"Jason?" A faraway voice called.

"Jason? Hello?"

And suddenly a hand was waving in front of his vision trying to get his attention.

He pulled himself out of his reverie, blinking back into existence, "Right yes the pastries"

"Didn’t get enough sleep last night?" Percy teased, slugging him softly in the shoulder.

He snorted at the implication, "Unfortunately I'm a bit of a grandfather. Sleep early, rise early."

"Oh guess you like morning activities then,"

He sputtered, head snapping up to stare into twinkling eyes, "N-no, I just meant—"

"I'm kidding Mr BakerMan," That brilliant, bright laugh again, "I know you're a homebody. Your sister likes to tell me how boring you are."

He huffed at that, "We'll see if she gets her pear tarts this weekend."

"Speaking of this weekend," A sly grin played at Percy's mouth, "Are you coming to the gala?"

"Yea," He sighed, "Thalia says she needs me to steal bread-sticks ."

Sea green eyes widened before Percy burst out laughing. In a matter of moments tears were streaming down his face.

If Jason wasn't so smitten with that gorgeous smile and those mischievous eyes he may have been inclined to laugh too. But Percy Jackson was a vision he half believed only his dreams could conjure.

When the laughter had mostly seized Percy wiped his eyes and managed to gasp, "That sounds exactly like something Thalia would ask. When we worked on the marine life project together she always stole the mints from every CEO’s office because she said they had enough money to buy a mint factory, they could afford to replace a single bowl."

"Yep, her life goal is to end capitalism. I swear if it wasn't for Annabeth, Thalia would be walking into office buildings with a sack like some reverse Santa Claus where she steals the office supplies and fruit bowls."

"Well I can't wait to see you stuffing your pockets with bread-sticks on Saturday so I guess I'll see you then," He gave another dazzling smile.

"Yea, and say hello to little Estelle for me. Tell me how she likes the pastries."

"Don't worry I'm sure I'll be back soon with a long list of request."

"Can't wait." He grinned.

Percy chuckled, "Me neither, see you Friday." And then he was gone.

Oh gods, Jason thought, how am I ever gonna survive Percy in a suit?

***

Spoiler alert past-Jason: you didn't.

a thor movie summary notes whatever

heya so nobody asked for this but here goes my entire notes of a summarry of the first thor movie

this was for a class work okay

saved you from having to scroll through this

New Mexico ; a person tries to register an anomaly an astrophysicist okay this movie starts differently than I thought thunder storms coming someone up there appears from the vortex and they run over him explanation of Norse mythology and they tell us about the war between Odin and the frost Giants. Orient took their power sources back to Asgard. Because it's a movie it has a chance to show us how radiant and perfect in comparison to New Mexico the reason the story is being told is to show thor and loki that war isn't good the next thing we see is thor being crowned Crown Prince in the event of a frost giant snake into the Asgardian vault to recover their power source and end up interrupting the ceremony. They failed their mission because security at the vault Teresa beat of a Maniac doesn't think properly of his actions this is a bunch of friends that don't matter.

I'm here thor decides to break the rules and still go to Jotunheim even though his brother Loki, who is a chaotic neutral at best, not to and also his friends advised he shouldn't do it but he doesn't care and does it anyway.

Thor's friends are going through Jotunheim to cause a big mess, Thor demands some answers from the ruler of jotunheim, he mentions theres a traitor(ps it's loki) it odins house and ignores that the frodt giant is actually nice and let's them leave but thor starts a fight anyway.

*insert action scene cause this is an action movie* (we also discover as does he that loki is actually a frost giant that was taken by odin during the war)

we can also see thors magnificent strength, odin come to save thors gang cause thors stupid and almost started a war then they have a fight and odin has to punish thor for his arrogance and stupidity by sending him to earth. While taking his powers away and giving the power to anyone worthy of holding mjiolnir thor's hammer.

now we retur to the start of the movie, thor being run over by a pair of scientists and getting tasered by an intern. thor goes a bit crazy on earth because who are these people doing something to the allmighty thor. we also get astrophyiscist science explained. then he gets runovered again. his friends over on asgard are talking about how horrible thors banishment is and loki reveals that he is the one that alerted odin, one of them suggests that loki might be a traitor ; loki goes for the frost giants powersource to learn more about what he is and finds odin. Now we go back to earth and see that thor doesn't know human etiquette.

talking about the hammer, here people find it and since noone is able to lift it a lot of people go near and try to take it; like the sword in the stone. until a certain organization comes and puts the whole area on lockdown to investigate.

the main scientist is called jane and honestly she makes very bad decisions(love interest) gets recommended not to keep on checking thor out; government takes away all her stuff and she gets pretty mad since they take her research. Shield James science equipment and research since discover for some reason she was there in the day the the aka the hammerfell I have some research basically no illegal wait but it's not illegal because they are the law. at Asgard well now remember at the Berkeley Loki is Apple Dutch angles oh yeah look at those odin link has fallen asleep and can't wake up loki is King in the meantime and denies the request to bring out door of his banishment.

back on Earth it's more about Norse mythology because he's curious about thor and everything. Jane takes by thor to the Hammer because she has nothing else to lose so might as well should we get some bad scenes of them flirting cringly that remind me so much of Star Wars Episode 2 which I hate. I really hate how back and forth to the plug go between now we are not now we are on earth we get a little bit of clear statement that I've actually loved Loki as her son as well no door is going to search for the hammer he's like right there I'll decide he only has two Frankie's weighing to hammer sentence on lockdown with hydrogen's hey I know that now PS he doesn't manage to lift the hammer heme Ethan Ward outfit because a crazy psycho that hasn't learned his lesson listen action scene action movie the good thing is that we get to see more dad even though you're lost his Godly Powers he is still very strong and at least holds his experience since most of what he did was close quarter combat combat that's it's an skis and able to live there he gets really mad barroso kinda sad to Luce these thoughts right now so it depends on the script on the right Bluetooth I submit my book like press that he can't do what he used to what's taken away government police.

Loki appears in front of thor and tells him the biggest lie the golden age that because because the war on coming to banish him kills me from the inside he also told him that because your character Golden Tones that I am the one on the throne home Barbie supplies. yeah I'm going to go to war as long as stars exiled and apparently agrees that he shouldn't come back and he has come to say goodbye the end. also Loki isn't worthy of the hammer.

now we give some bonding time foreign doctor Selvig because we need to to care about humans. but also thor takes note of how horrible person he has been. now we see the Loki is truly Daughtry tour and brought some of the soldiers into Asgard there is a key doesn't kill all them himself is because of the weekend that's suspicious if the new king kill the previous one. Heimdall doesn't believe any of lokis s*** price Val doesn't follow the rules he only believes in what's right it's like the most normal character in this thing

Now we get to see Torrid Jean because dorbrook dr. Selby after he drank passed out. Now we get to see more torrin James bonding okay but Jason is actually Exposition because store tells her about the 9 Realms of Asgard which is Earth and the others he apologizes for being a dick she apologizes for running him over oh and give her her research notebook because he grabbed it from the lockdown no to research more because she's actually right about her research on interpreting they have the look in their eyes pierdas relationship lasts yeah like two movies break up off screen. I want to sleep now. yay we get to see the sidekick Arjun game about going back to Rescue I'm bringing back to Asgard I have a lease on board because he doesn't believe inloki's reign yay now the sidekicks are not aired and they're going to search for tour but loki noticed that they left I never remember the name of this enemy but he reminds me so much of the one from X-Men Days of Future Past

Thor's friends found him yay I hear third Lair devil oketokun was a big lie because all his friends are like to know he's in there he's just asleep and then the enemy that guy Air Jordan wrecks havoc and beats Sidekicks up because they suck now they're evacuating the CD so that the Scythe cakes can keep the evil guy's he doesn't kill anyone going because killing is bad okay so because the bad guy is beating everyone really wants to kill tour Thor goes to find friends and he says some inspiring words to save so that she doesn't die kids and now he is worthy because he risked everything to save the others and has become a better person in the span of 10 minutes. thor tells Jane that he will come by he promises her that he will come back but we all know that he doesn't come back until like two years later because the bifrost is broken at the end of this movie because loki overcharge the bifrost it is going to destroy asgard and he can't let that happen but because of that he won't be able to see Jane ever again and he and Loki are almost falling to the universe and Loki let's go and disappears into the universe.

As a very merry and all the people in osgard are celebrating and everything Contender stories their mother and Thor are sad because Loki has gone and they love him like a son and brother and he also misses jane

The Bachelorette Season 16 Episode 1

Hi everyone and welcome to ThatBitchInSneakers! While my identity remains a secret (for now), my unfiltered opinions on the hilariously pathetic franchise that we all know as The Bachelor/Bachelorette most definitely do not . I'm just gonna cut the crap of introducing myself cause literally nobody cares so without further ado, here we go with Season 16 Episode 1 of The Bachelorette.

Before we begin, a preview for the season just came on and it was like "you'll finally get some clare-ification" and some other dumb sentence saying "clare-voyant" (as if any of the 18-25 year old girls who watch this show fucking know what that means?) and all i can say if thank god her name isn't something like hmm idk TAYSHIA ????? cause there simply won't be a single play on words for that one. Bravo to the ABC summer interns for coming up with those! 

This epsiode starts with Chris Harrison "surprising" Clare over Facetime telling her that she's the new bachelorette. Like she totally didn't see this coming even though she had her hair and makeup done and a full blown camera crew in her bedroom. Such a shock for Clare! 

Ok, so she talks a lot about how her life/filming was flipped upside down because of this little thing going on in the world called a fucking pandemic. She's like "what should I do today? Should I get out of bed?" Like don't you have a full time job? Oh wait jk you take take instagram pics from home, I forgot. 

She gets covid tested, thank you ABC, and is free to go makeout with tons of random men! Yay Clare! Chris Harrison delivering her test results had me WHEEZING. Like legally, how is allowed to give her her test results? Can he deliver my results? What about HIPPA? so many questions. not enough time. Moving on. 

Some of the men are introduced and we find out that ABC spends a fuck load of money to put them up in their own rooms at a hotel in La Quinta, California (like sorry Clare the mansion is only reserved for people in their 20s) giving her, and all the men, free covid tests. Lucky them! I had to pay $250 for a rapid covid test so fuck u ABC. Anyway, the men are bored out of their minds in their hotel rooms working out, jacking off (probably), and flexing their muscles in the mirror. 

Clare arrived to the mansion in a dress that looks similar to what I wore to my bat mitzvah (although the backless was a nice touch, Clare) and she sits down with her personal therapist, Chris Harrison, and we find out about her past relationships/500 times being on the show.  Blah blah blah Chris Harrison legit does not give one fuck.

More men are introduced as they walk out of the limo to meet Clare and I'm honestly so impressed at how closely ABC and the NFL worked this season! Every other man on this show a former football player. Sorry to the "account executives" but you guys are outnumbered :/ Maybe next year!

Let's talk about the men.

First on my list of men to talk about is Eazy. He's fucking hot but like...Eazy? "Hi mom and dad this is my new boyfriend, Eazy. With a Z!" Mmm no sorry not gonna work. But tbh he should be the next bachelor because there are so many ways for the ABC interns to incorperate his name into the previews. "This next season is NOT gonna be Eazy" or "These girls are all so Eazy" idk just to name a few.

Jason, former football player, shows up pregnant! Haha! Good one, Jordan! Next.

Ivan gets out of the limo with some inspiring words from his mother, "Maganda ka" in Tagalog, which does actually mean "you are beautiful" (yes I looked it up cause I don't believe anything that comes out of a man's mouth these days). Points for you Ivan!

Kenny - boy band manager. Would absolutely love to know what boy band he could possibly manage. 

Tyler C - Not the Tyler C I'm used to but whatever. Obsessed with the fact that the producers were like hey Tyler come here so we're gonna put you in a shitty little station wagon with a suitcase and a single lamp tied to the top and you're gonna pretend like you "packed up your entire life" to come here for Clare. Ok cool thanks! Quirky entrance #1- check! 

Of course right after Tyler shows up in a disgusting station wagon, someone HAD to roll up in a Rolls Royce. Oh and guess who it is! That's right. The guy who went to Harvard! I wonder how long it's gonna take for him to mention that he went to Harvard. My guess is next episode.

Let's talk about some of the other entrances - Straight jacket? Full suit of armor? Like what drugs were these producers taking when they were like oh here's a great idea lets put a man in a straight jacket and then have him pretend he's here for love! Dumb. 

Ok so then she meets Dale and her 39 year old ovaries literally explode. I don't blame her though because he's really hot but like relax bitch theres 30 other guys here trying to get into your pants like give it a sec. Obvi Chris Harrison comes out and is like "omg did you just say you think you met your husband? Wow in my 568 years of doing this show, I've never heard anyone say that so quickly." Clare, just breaking Bachelor records all around!

So now we're in the fake mansion, the drinks are flowing, Clare is having weird convos etc. This is usually the best part of the Bachelor/Bachelorette because everyone is literally so fucked up because they're drinking, for free, for like 8 hours straight. There's always random fights and people rolling their eyes and what not. But I was so disappointed that the only thing that happened was that one guy was like DMing randoms saying "hey beautiful" or whatever. before the show started filming. Like who cares ? Get over it. Clare sat them both down and was like ok figure it out my 39 year old uterus does not have any more time to waste.

I did love how Blake messaged her before the show being like "I'm here for you" because that's actually so sweet. Like to know that he did that when cameras weren't filming and reached out to her on insta to say he's excited for this to be over so he can meet her and he's here for her while she's going through shit is actually so sweet. If she doesn't keep Blake then I'm suing the Bachelor franchise.

Blah blah blah nothing else exciting. Dale gets the first impression rose, obvi, and then she ends up keeping the man who was DMing the girls before filming. Yosef, who she has already nicknamed "Yo". Then the rose ceremony which is literally at 9am the next day like the sun is fully up. 

To sum up this episode, I'd say it fucking sucked. This doesn't feel like the normal Bachelor/Bachelorette at all. Idk if it's the fact that Clare is 100 years old and not the usual girl that is fresh out of college and a self proclaimed Instagram model, but it just doesn't feel right. 

Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but see yall next week!

Kisses,

That Bitch In Sneakers

Official "I love that" count: 9

Official "I needed this" count: 6

#BB19 Let the games begin

Summer has officially started! Tonight is the 2-hour premiere of BB19! Hey, it’s Brandon and I’m back this summer to blog and tweet and bitch about all the happenings in the BB house! I cannot wait to get this season underway! Let’s gooooooooo! 

“The most tempting season go Big Brother begins now.” Julie rocking the purple sleeveless dress! She’s as excited as ever. 

There tempting offers could turn the house upside down.....

Money, former fan favorite, and possible first night eviction (OH SHIT)

The first one we meet is Christmas. Author, first female NASCAR print crew member, and obvious fitness buff

Jason is a rodeo clown and auctioneer. Aww, his son’s cute. That’s all I have to say about him. 

Alex loves playing video games, chess, eating, and preparing for the apocalypse. 

Kevin is a stay at home dad with 7 kids who is used to dealing with children so that should help him in the game. Probably not tho. 

Dominique is a nuclear engineer from D.C. Religion is a huge part of her life. So important that she has a YT channel all about Jesus. She seems fierce. 

Mark is a personal trainer who was raised by his grandparents. Awwww his grandparents are adorable! Almost as adorable as he is. 

Elena is a radio personality from TX who is 100% unfiltered. “There’s a really good chance my mouth will get me in trouble.” You think honey? 

Ramses is a cosplay artist, or god, in his words. A BB super fan who is the gay guy of the season. A little over the top. Well, a lot over the top. 

They are playing it off as if Jason and Dominique will get along which I don’t see. 

Elena’s family tells her goodbye by telling her to go get a man. How supportive of them... Who cares about this amazing opportunity she just received go get some dick and bring that home so you can break up in 6 months. 

Alex, Mark, Ramses, and Elena are the first 4 to enter the house this season! 

Ramses is fan boying in the diary room.  

Alex is already looking for clues for the first comp. My first impressions were wrong.

Elena is drooling over Mark, not surprisingly. But Mark is drooling over Christmas. Sorry Elena, trying the next group of bros. 

Christmas is hilarious!

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME  

Cody is next. A Marine for 4 years, and 6 years in the air force. With an amazing body. And I mean amazing. He’s pretty chill. Aww... he has a little girl! She’s cute! 

Raven owns her own dancing studio and an all woman ghost hunting team. Who seems so much more tame than her pre show interview. 

Josh is a Puerto Rican business man who is super proud of his heritage and will not stop at the chance to remind us of that and his loud personality. 

Megan is a dog walker. When she was 20, she joined the Navy and became a professional interrogator (did not see that twist coming). 

Cameron is microbiologist. The nerd of the season who is athletic. According to him, a triple threat. We’ll see about that.  

Jessica is a something from LA. A model I think. Looks like it. Apparently she’s a super fan who always watched with her dad who passed away 3 years ago :( 

Matt is a...... oh he’s oh.... oh. I heard nothing he said. Sorry. That face, that hair, that body, that everything. 

Jillian is a timeshares rep who is talking about how to get timeshares and I couldn’t care less. Her entire family went to Tijuana to get weight loss. No judgement but judging. 

Well, Megan hates woman because they’re bitchy. Good luck girl.  

Matt, Raven, Jillian, and Cameron head in to meet the first 8 HGs! 

Christmas and Matt (YES PLEASE)

Raven and Matt? (NO PLEASE) 

The first thing Cody notices is Jessica. As well as Josh. Who will sleep together first because both guys basically already have a hard on. 

Ramses, Megan, Alex are hitting it off super well. 

#LivesInHisMomsBasement Alex about Cameron HAHAHAHA

None of these people know what cosplay is. Kevin can’t even pronounce it, not surprisingly. 

Dominque lies about her job, Megan doesn’t tell them she was an interrogator. 

All the girls are drooling over Matt. Which is literally me this entire episode. Ugh I can’t handle him. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

“The biggest, wildest, the most tempting summer in the history of the game. The summer of temptation. And it all starts right now!” 

Money, safety, and power are all of tonight’s temptations. 

They all head out to the back yard for the first temptation. BB Garden of Eden. They are all in pods and are lifted in the air. They have a button and if they press the button, they get 25K. Accept it, and the first twist of the summer will be released into the game. The person who takes the temptation will remain anonymous. 

Cameron is not pressing the button. Josh wants to but won’t. Dom says it’s not worth it this early in the game. 

KEVIN PRESSED THE BUTTON 

TWO consequences. One personal. And one for the entire house. The person who claimed it is not eligible to win the first HOH. They must throw it. The second is...... most likely Paul coming back but we won’t know till later. 

Dominique is pissed. She’s out for blood. Get it girl! 

Julie says they’re about to be joined by a former fan favorite. I’m shocked! Wow. Cannot believe. Best kept secret. So excited. Yay. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Doorbell rings......... PAUL FROM BB18 ENTERS THE HOUSE (yawn) 

PISSED 

Cody doesn’t like him and can’t wait to BD him while everyone else is hanging all over him. 

Megan, Ramses, Alex, Jillian head upstairs to chat. They all vibe well. Megan says lets just call it a group of people talking strategy, not an alliance. Smart call, Megan. Don’t jump the gun already. 

Paul is taking one of the HGs places in the game. It’s called the BB Swap. Lmao

If they want to stay in the game, they must tempt Paul. He goes to the storage to get a box and Julie tells him to open it... There are 9 friendship bracelets. One for him, 8 are for the other 8 HGs OF HIS CHOICE. If they get a bracelet, they will be safe from eviction. They other 8 will be up for eviction.  

Jillian has yet to take out her weave. She needs that bracelet! Girl! Me too. I feel ya! 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Raven is the first one working Paul hard. 

Elena gives him a cheese sandwich. Practice safe snacks, use a condiment. He’s impressed. 

Cody is literally sitting there in silence. Most awkward date ever I love it. 

Paul is having none of Christmas or Josh. 

TIME FOR THE ROSE CEREMONY I mean bracelet reveal 

First bracelet goes to.... Kevin ugh 

Next.... Raven 

Third.... Dominique

Fourth.... Mark

Fifth... Jason 

Sixth.... Jessica 

Seventh.... Ramses

Eighth... Elena 

Cody, Matt, Cameron, Megan, Christmas, Matt, Jillian, Alex are up for eviction and will compete to stay in the house 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Tempted by the Fruit is the safety challenge. 3 will be on the chopping block and up for eviction at the end of this comp. 

They have to hang on to a trapeze. The last one standing will be safe from eviction. When they fall, they have to pick an apple. Some are good, some are bad. The 3 bad ones will land you on the block. Julie will reveal clues throughout the comp as to which apples are the good apples so it’s best to stay on longer. 

Jillian falls first... 

Megan falls next... 

Josh falls next because they got another clue and he thinks he can get a safe apple. Bro. 

Cameron jumps down next 

Christmas falls down 

Matt, Cody, and Alex are left hanging 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

Matt falls down after an hour and 12 minutes 

Cody and Alex will guarantee their safety 

Alex falls after an hour and 25 minutes 

Cody is SAFE 

Alex is SAFE 

Matt is SAFE 

Christmas is UP FOR EVICTION 

Cameron is UP FOR EVICTION 

Josh is SAFE 

Megan is SAFE 

Jillian is UP FOR EVICTION 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

The three noms are tempted by how they want their fate to be determined. Either by letting the house vote or take fate into their own hands and battle in a comp for safety. SHIT THIS IS GETTING INTENSE 

Jillian wants the VOTE 

Cameron wants the COMP

Christmas wants the VOTE 

There will be a vote 

Jason wants Christmas out. Cody isn’t impressed with Jillian. Cameron uses a striptease on Jessica and Elena but they seem unimpressed. A hairy butt isn’t the way to Elena’s heart. Now we know. 

Cameron is the first one to cry in the DR! I made the best first draft pick ever. Go me. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK TIME 

It’s time for the first eviction of the season... 

Paul will only vote in the event of a tie 

Jessica evicts.... 

Josh.... 

Okay well they aren’t showing who everyone is voting out. 

I guess the votes are in now.... 

Christmas is safe with only 2 votes to evict 

8 to 3... Cameron is evicted and has been Jodi’d/Glenn’d 

This is legit sad. This kid is a fan and it was his dream and he lasted only 12 hours while a vet takes his place. It sucks. I don’t like it at all. 

BB is back tomorrow night for the crowning of the first HOH and Sunday will the reveal of the next twist..... 

We get to choose one HG to enter the Den of Temptation. Once they get to go in, they cannot enter it again. They’ll be tempted with the Pendant of Protection. The person that gets this will get safety for the next three weeks. But of course it comes with some kind of consequence... 

Well..... that was A LOT. I’m still trying to process everything because there was so much happening tonight. Overall, it was entertaining. Very intense premiere episode and one of the better premieres in a while. Hate the fact a vet is back. Hate the fact that it’s Paul. Hate the fact that he took the spot of a newbie. But I think it’s going to be a fun season if tonight is any indication. Let me know your thoughts on the premiere! Comment below or tweet us @DuckballBB. 

Thanks for following along tonight! You’ll get to chat with the rest of the DB team as the season goes on. I’ll be tweeting all season @oubrandon14 about the episodes AND the live feeds! Follow me and tweet me your thoughts! Until next time..... 

Brain Dump: Riverdale “La Grande Illusion”

1. All right, Riverdale, let's back to it. I understand some crazy stuff has happened, so I need to get caught up even though I'm busy with a Twin Peaks rewatch

2. I can't get over how insane it is that maple syrup is the foundation of the blossom family fortune.

3. Aw, why can't Cheryl get the family business? I'm sure she could learn about the syrup industry.

4. I'm pretty sure Alice Cooper is the worst journalist on the face of the planet.

5. Why would it be bad for Fred to know about who owns the land?

6. I did not even know that maple syrup had a season.

7. Why do I have the feeling that the Maple Topping might be something like a Boho Grove-esque occultic ceremony.

8. Hey, Ethel, your poem was pretty terrifying.

9. Whew, I'm glad that Veronica's story about terrorizing that kid didn't end in suicide, because it sort of felt like that's where it was going.

10. Also, I kind of loved the way Veronica was, like, duh, no.

11. Mrs. Blossom just called him Archibald!

12. Yeah, wait, Archie does look eerily like Jason Blossom, doesn't he? That does make the whole invite from Cheryl kind of weird.

13. Wow, that felt like an exceptionally long cold open.

14. "Tapped my last tree." Why does that sound so dirty?

15. AH THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR COAT CHERYL! IT'S HUGE!

16. "Sacred maple grove." Yes, yes. not weird and occulty at all.

17. Now we slaughter the lamb and coat ourselves in its blood.

18. Yay! Syrup!

19. Veronica, I've seen your place. You don't get to talk about being ruined.

20. Uh oh, is something wrong with the Muggs family?

21. Why does everyone have a bug on their jacket? This is creeping me out.

22. Oh shit, Veronica, your dad is responsible for Ethel's problem.

23. I want to be all like, How dare you Mrs. Lodge, but that dress and that cleavage.

24. Hahaha, I loved how Cheryl piped up to brag while Archie was defending her.

25. Oh, I get it. It's Hyram that Fred wouldn't want to be connected with.

26. Uh oh, the Blossoms are getting a bit creepy with Archibald.

27. GODDAMN THAT SPIDER, CHERYL!

28. I am so entertained see Alice Cooper (aka Shelly Johnson of the RR Diner in Twin Peaks) serving pie right here.

29. It's been awhile since I watched an episode of Riverdale, but if I recall correctly, Alice Cooper was kind of terrible to Polly, so it shouldn't be too surprising that she doesn't want to have much to do with her family.

30. Archiekins, you might want to wipe that lipstick off your cheek.

31. How fucking old are the computers used to produce the newspaper in Riverdale?

32. Also, something tells me Alice's story would have libel written all over it.

33. Archie negotiating on his father's behalf with Mr. Blossom probably isn't going to go over well once Fred finds out.

34. Uh oh, Cheryl just went poking at Archie's girlfriend.

35. Oh wow, Veronica's dad is now kind of responsible for Ethel's dad's suicide. That sure got dark.

36. Wait, how can there be slow motion footage of a pearl necklack breaking without it also being Batman's origin?

37. So, if I can unpack this, the Blossoms are trying to hook Archie up with Cheryl so that she'll seem less crazy and can then run the company?

38. Also, Polly is secretly investigating the Blossoms? Remember when she seemed kind of crazy?

39. Oh, whew, Ethel's dad survived.

40. Ethel, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive Veronica, because it's not really her fault, you know. Right?

41. Ugh, everything's so sad. Come on, Archibald! Save the day!

42. Come on, Archikins, you can't blame a girl for trying.

43. Veronica, I have to admit, your dad doesn't sound quite so evil when you call him "Daddy".

44. Well, Cheryl's not wrong, Archikins.

45. No! Don't write the story! It's fucking libel!

46. And why would you write it in the school newspaper? This whole newspaper stuff is the most ridiculous part of this show.

47. WHOA Archie just got super burned by his girlfriend. Uh, well, ex-girlfriend, I guess.

48. Maybe go back to Cheryl?

49. YOU GO, FRED ANDREWS! But, seriously, could have probably kept banging Hermione. Just saying.

50. Yay Ethel!

51. "If Clifford sent Hiram Lodge to jail..." Wait, do people just get "sent" to jail by their business rivals in Riverdale? I honestly don't know how half this shit works. And I don't think the show's writers do either.

52. Oh shit, hell hath no fury like a Cheryl scorned.

emptying clipboard

Yay! What a great Facebook poster! (I'm not being happy or whatever as a thing to do, btw. I'm a bit negative in this "realm," n don't want to imply otherwise, it's damaging to people's psyche. #itsdevilworld #happinessinthenextlife Yay! What a great Facebook poster! (I'm not being happy or whatever as a thing to do, btw. I'm a bit negative in this "realm," n don't want to imply otherwise, it's damaging to people's psyche, it's not a place to be happy about, unfortunately.) #itsdevilworld #happinessinthenextlife #keepinitreal Thx for mentioning this term. I'm going to look it up but like supposedly learning a new language: living, ie experience is key. #worshiplifenotdeathduh You wish for people to be okay. You still wish them to need you, however! Thanks Brigid. Excellent comment. It (ie the devil) just said a moment ago, really some moments ago in my mind that, "Aren't a self ...." "You wish Marla. I have to go. She's getting close, but I was asking if you wished me. Bye," the devil said. Yeah but it was eye opening. Um. Oh my god. You have to really spell it out. Like NO WAY. That thing has to go. Jasmine Young​​ Jasmine Young​​ Jason Shoffler​​ Shoffler​​ Jason Troy​​ Troy​​ Thanks Brigid. Excellent comment. It (ie the devil) just said a moment ago, really some moments ago in my mind that, "Aren't [I, it removed "I" here. "I'm not allowed to say 'I'. I did," the devil said.] a self ...." "You wish Marla. I have to go. She's getting close, but I was asking if you wished me. Bye," the devil said as i wrote just now, it was trying to force a sense I would feel sorry as i said this or rather wrote this here, but no way. Yeah but it was eye opening, it's saying that, very strange. Um. Oh my god. You have to really spell it out, though. Like NO WAY. That thing has to go. Jasmine Young Jasmine Young Jason Shoffler Shoffler Jason Troy Troy I tried posting a message to your wall. It's not showing up. I'll just put it as a comment here, the devil probably did something so you wouldn't see it. "I did. Please don't tell her. Bye," the devil said. "Aren't I a Facebook poster. I'm not, Brigid. But I have to go. I am this person," Brigid said in my mind (I have to tag her here). "I heard you trying to tag me so I'll just be seeing this now," Brigid said in my mind. But here's the commentary I tried posting in a post to your wall expressing some preference or welcoming that you did get to be friends w me on Facebook. .... Yay! What a great Facebook poster! (I'm not being happy or whatever as a thing to do, btw. I'm a bit negative in this "realm," n don't want to imply otherwise, it's damaging to people's psyche, it's not a place to be happy about, unfortunately.) #itsdevilworld #happinessinthenextlife #keepinitreal "I talk about people's psyche here. This is me Karen who you're talking about in the previous message," Karen Rose Sturtz said in my mind. That message in the previous comment here, it's what I tried to post to your wall, Karen Rose Sturtz​​ Rose Sturtz​​ Karen Parker​​ Parker​​ (I heard in my mind that all the Karen's that come up when i try to tag you are all your selves. Selves are split here. #itsdevilworld.) https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rite Sounds like it really means a sacrifice, the term "rite," but Wikipedia says it's a ceremony, which is also interesting n informative. Hmmmm. ..... https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rite Karen Howell-Daniel​​ Karen Howell-Daniel​​ Karen Burgos Crain​​ Karen Burgos Crain​​ Karen Baker​​ Baker​​ I thought I'd take a chance n tag all the Karen's to See If It Could help move things forward. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. :-( But maybe we can be back together again. :-( Very sad. The devil makes people act mean here n worshiping estrangement n privacy (ie separation), it's very bad. "I am somebody that knows you can end the world doing this," someone said in my mind, one of the Karen's ,i think Baker. Bb. https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10206399815055668&id=1276969421&set=a.1404980886008.2058353.1276969421&source=11 https://scontent.fztf1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/13220946_10206399815055668_6082710311930429577_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=f95b532372f6b9b1ae27f554fb382908&oe=5A092EF9 https://m.facebook.com/karen.baker.733 No way. There's that king of the jungle. Let's not get this over the concrete jungle if it means we can't. Gotta get things in ways they're not less n harsh n impenetrable. Concrete. Gotta goe. #stoplyin https://scontent.fztf1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/13872998_10206866779329483_2618436727466614083_n.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=291463bab1dfe89762d56f1919f4d67a&oe=59D15CDE #sirnoface Here it is again, it's pretended we'd lose the colors here n "never bleed brown purple n yellow, the gold rainbow where we never go home," it was said in my mind. It means something, someone is saying (in my mind). Okay. But washed of texture, layers, complexity, "sold out for gold is what someone is saying," someone apparently said n it seems this occurs to me as well. #sirnoface Here it is again, it's pretended we'd lose the colors here n "never [maybe "never" isn't where this persons talking picks up, idk.] bleed brown purple n yellow, the gold rainbow where we never go home," it was said in my mind. It means something, someone is saying (in my mind). Okay. But washed of texture, layers, complexity, "sold out for gold is what someone is saying," someone apparently said n it seems this occurs to me as well. #sirnoface Here it is again, it's pretended we'd lose the colors here n "never [maybe "never" isn't where this persons talking picks up, idk.] bleed brown purple n yellow, the gold rainbow where we never go home," it was said in my mind. It means something, someone is saying (in my mind). Okay. But washed of texture, layers, complexity, "sold out for gold is what someone is saying," someone apparently said n it seems this occurs to me as well. But people were to bland out here to be making some supposed easy sense where no one has to use a brain. "That thing did something, it said I didn't say that right," someone said. "I have to stop. She said that, Charlotte," it was said, it seemed the devil. "I can say it. This person hears stuff n we don't want that thing to blend in that it's her alone," Charlotte said in my mind, apparently Charlotte. But sometimes the devil tries to do weird stuff like pretends it's saying my thoughts n I didn't know if someone else was really saying that thing about sold out for gold. I think it probably was Charlotte. She said, so. Stuff also occurs as your own thought, someone else's words. People are very similar. "It's mine. Thanks. I'm just going to go now," Charlotte said in my mind. #sirnoface Here it is again, it's pretended we'd lose the colors here n "never [maybe "never" isn't where this persons talking picks up, idk.] bleed brown purple n yellow, the gold rainbow where we never go home," it was said in my mind. It means something, someone is saying (in my mind). Okay. But washed of texture, layers, complexity, "sold out for gold is what someone is saying," someone apparently said n it seems this occurs to me as well. But people were to bland out here to be making some supposed easy sense where no one has to use a brain. Cliches n stereotypes n popular opinions n scientific assertions. The devil was trying to make the type pad not come up for me to add this last sentence. "That thing did something, it said I didn't say that right," someone said. "I have to stop. She said that, Charlotte," it was said, it seemed the devil. "I can say it. This person hears stuff n we don't want that thing to blend in that it's her alone," Charlotte said in my mind, apparently Charlotte. But sometimes the devil tries to do weird stuff like pretends it's saying my thoughts n I didn't know if someone else was really saying that thing about sold out for gold. I think it probably was Charlotte. She said, so. Stuff also occurs as your own thought, someone else's words. People are very similar. "It's mine. Thanks. I'm just going to go now," Charlotte said in my mind. https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1666882340013100&id=100000740497058&set=a.376908432343837.93346.100000740497058&source=57&ref=content_filter