ive made myself more wet and pathetic

I'm experiencing existential shrimp emotions and yet still expected to play nice and go to work and it's just. Man. Man. I wanna sit around and think and feel until I reach some sort of tenable equilibrium. Not just crush the intensity under my heel into apathy, or at least the false facade of apathy. I care too deeply! Let me care about every little thing intensely and consumptively! I don't WANT to not be like this.

Oh this is hysterical

what's it called when your wips are eating you alive again

🐰🩹🧸🏨

DID NEIL GAYMEN WRITE DBD

He wrote the comics yes

I NEED my brain to stop waking me up with nightmares but

got 7 hours of sleep this time around despite it. I'm actually proud enough of that to post abt it lmaooo

...

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

Y'know I think I'm starting to truly understand the kids who just didn't do anything in class during middle and high school. As someone who used to be a gifted kid and never really got it. Fucking hell

I hope my three day trip with my friends will finally put my mind at peace. I just feel so lonely...

LiEat Fanfic

LiEat fanfic I wrote in the year of our lord 2023.

Read Here

Summary: Teo attempts to do forgery while also forcing Efina to go to bed at a regular time.

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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend

my neighborhood is apparently losing connection for ? some time ? so parting gift for u all. its v sillies how tsurugi spent so much time in blind faith and dependency due to being vvv traumatized and having no options other than juu. like i don’t think i’m well versed (or awake) enough to accurately articulate my thoughts on a “cult like” childhood right now but u guys get the vibe?

it’s silly how that’s how he grew up and then whoops! haha funny story tsurugi you know how you keep being given ways out/having your beliefs questioned and challenged and changed (kinji (twice), satsuki, etc)?

haha. wellll hope u took those lessons to hard because ur now being forcibly cut from the person u were reliant on in the past! because juu fucking sucks and traumatized as u are u can’t rely on him anymore as the figure u follow because the beliefs he instilled in u are the antithesis of his actions! so i sure hope ur able to cope with everything in a normal way instead of falling back on ur old beliefs to a even more extremist degree because everyone who gets close to u and then acts against what u believe in winds up dead or “worse” (a criminal/a despair)

and so obviously because this is how he is with systems of beliefs and with dependent tendencies he launches hard into isolating himself from others and not allowing for their input. and whoops look at what u did tsurugi! you created a workplace environment where people work for u (forming reliance/dependency) and also u provide them with a sense of security safety and stability after they’ve been traumatized and have a severe distrust of the entire world/view it as something which needs to be cleansed. and then u have a category 5 meltdown do some morally questionable things and go off the map because ur arguably alone.

this is so long but tldr. i think it’s really funny (not) the degree to which tsurugi winds up replicating juu. i need to not think abt tsurugi anymore i have so much schoolwork due i need to sleep

🧍🏻