If i see one more person spread “news” sourced to outlets like f1-insider… please actually pay attention to sources and use critical thought about where it came from. these accounts want their engagement numbers and will share information derived from a fucking reddit comment if they think it’ll earn them a few extra dollars. there’s always an off chance these bullshit tabloids are right, but they almost never are, and a legitimate source will come along if there’s any whisper of truth to it. i just beg of people to simply wait for sources with the slightest bit of credibility to their name before they start sharing information.

Sweet and Sour (Tyler Galpin x Reader )

Pairing: Tyler Galpin x AFAB reader

Warnings: Smut. AGED UP CHARACTERS. Thigh riding, choking, hair pulling and slapping. Unprotected vaginal sex. No daddy kink here because I’m unable to write it. I tried. I hope you like it anyways. Yeti reader. Post Hyde Tyler.

A/N: Poor Tyler, was he a catholic? He definitely gave me the Christian guilt. Yes. I hate Inglourious Basterds with all my heart, but I will respect the awful spelling the guy chose.

Requested: Yes. I dedicate this fic to the person who requested it, but also to the anon who called me a monster fucker. I can get much worse, babe. Don’t tempt me.

The first time you walked into the Weathervane, Tyler was struck. The heat of the day made it so the café was having a slow day, even slower than usual since the whole town found out he was the Hyde. That had almost gotten him fired, but the mayor had forced his employer to keep him, citing that as a newly revealed outcast, it could be grounds for a discrimination scandal. Tyler didn’t care. The pay was good enough to compensate the lack of tips, and since it was the only café around here, it got plenty of outcast traffic. The owner was happy. His father was happy. The mayor was happy. He was…well, at least not in jail.

You came in wearing a soft, pastel colored dress, with a white sweater hanging from where you had it tied to your purse’s strap.

“Hi.” You say to him, all bright eyes and a smile. Immediately he knows you can’t be a local because if you knew, you wouldn’t be being so nice. “Do you guys serve ice tea?”

“Yes. We have plain, lemon infused and peach infused. Which one would you like?” Tyler takes out a plastic cup, already scribbling on it.

“Lemon.” You started taking out your card to pay, and Tyler used the brief respite to look you up and down once more. You were the prettiest girl he had ever seen, with your white heart shaped sunglasses perched on your hair, adorable sundress and glossy pink lip gloss. Total opposite of one Wednesday Addams. And maybe he was fucked up, he had no clear type or worse, he was looking into opposites of her. But you were pretty and smiling at him like he was a human being. Tyler was a sucker for manners.

“Okay, give me your name.” He asked, eyeing your purse. It was white, with a soft coral lining on the inside. Tyler could see your phone peeking out of it, wrapped in a light pink phone case. It made him smile.

“Y/N” Tyler scribbled it down, and you gave him a bright smile.

“You are new to town?”

“Yeah, my parents and I were checking out the place. They are going to enroll me at Nevermore, so they are meeting the principal. You look my age…” You cocked your head to the side, looking at him from beneath your eyelashes. “You go there?”

“I will be going there next semester, yeah.” Tyler grimaced. He should probably warn you, now, before someone else does. It would not take too long when they saw you, all pretty and innocent and consorting with the likes of him. “Look, if you want to make friends there… Avoid me. Please.”

“Not a Nevermore fan?” You asked, sitting at the counter and watching him pour your drink.

“More like Nevermore is not a fan of me.” He passes you the cup, and you take out a book of your purse and walk silently to a table. If he wanted his space, who were you to deny him? However, his warning intrigues you, and you keep stealing glances at him when you think he isn’t looking. You like the way his face dimples when he smiles and his eyes seem so genuine, you can’t help but find him attractive.

Tyler notices you looking at him, thinking you are being so sly. This attention is nice, and you are adorable, so he decides to enjoy it while it lasts. You don’t see each other again, not until the semester starts, and he is dropped off by his father in a school full of people who hate his guts. Which, honestly? Not that impressive for a school of outcasts. It seems you lose it once and go on a murdering spree, and suddenly, everyone is terrified. Come on! Their teacher was the one that triggered him in the first place!

By then, you had already heard all about how he killed a bunch of normies and almost maimed to death another kid, plus the charges of attempted murder against half the school. How he got away with everything, claiming it was all Thornhill, and drugs, and a bunch of legalese the public defender spun to get him out of jail, where he belongs. Yet, for some reason, you decide to sit next to him in your first class, looking prim and proper in your new uniform. Tyler doesn’t say anything. He warned you once, he is not about to do it again. He is a selfish creature, he will enjoy it while it lasts. The company is very pleasant, in comparison to his fabulous new roommate, who almost pissed his pants when he saw him.

“So.” You say, eyes crinkling. “What do you like to do for fun, apart from murdering people?” You ask, and he can’t help but snort. Tyler hasn’t laughed, truly laughed, since what? Six months ago? He isn’t really sure, but your attitude is refreshing. Nobody has dared to joke about it, and maybe it is because you weren’t here back then, but it’s nice not to be looked at like he is a monster. Even if some days he is not sure that he regrets it.

“I read, although not as much as you do.” Tyler answers, possibly betraying too much of his feelings by admitting he has been watching you. “I like to jog. And before, I used to play football…” His voice drops a little then, and you can’t help but smile at him.

“Wanna see something cool?” You ask him, and blow him a kiss. He is confused at first, but his eyes open wide when your breath turns into ice crystals, freezing in the air. “You weren’t the only presumed extinct, you know. Don’t feel so special.”

Knowing what you are makes everything about you have sense for Tyler. You are something special, something precious. A miracle kid, who with no doubt was sheltered and treasured. You are innocent and naive, and the idea of being the one to corrupt that innocence, claim the beautiful prize for himself, attracts the Hyde. Monsters like shiny things too. The urge to own, the urge to make his, is almost unbearable. And the more human side of him wonders what it would be like to get to hold your hand and maybe kiss you, showing you the same tenderness you had shown him.

He panics. Really. The idea of corrupting your innocence both excites him and fills him with dread. And so, Tyler buries his feelings deep and pretends everything is fine. He’ll just… be your friend. There is no harm in that, after all.

Turns out he was mistaken. So mistaken it is funny, actually. You start spending so much time together, everyone refers to you two like Y/N-and-Tyler, in the same breath. His reputation improves because how bad can Tyler really be if he hangs with you all the time, poster child for the discriminated outcasts? Besides, you are so sweet, so nice, but you wouldn’t stand for anything morally wrong. Your free periods are spent on the quad, legs lazily tangling together as you go over some homework or some book you are reading, explained with animated gestures. The weekends are spent at the Weathervane, sitting in a booth and doing the same thing, when you can’t get away with sneaking into each other’s room.

Tyler likes you. Like, as in, more than friends. There is something about you that reminds him of his life before, when he was one of Jericho’s golden boys, but without all the violence from back then. With you, he gets to be charming, cheesy, pulling blushes out of you left and right with clever words and soft touches. But as much as he tries to pretend the violence isn’t there, the Hyde still lurks beneath his act. He can’t help but wonder how dark the blush would be if he just grabbed you and kissed you, dragging his teeth along your neck, biting at your nape. How it would feel to have your hands on his cock, how flustered you would get if he taught you exactly how to please him. These ideas, they make him feel guilty every time you smile at him, yet Tyler can’t help but think about it. No amount of cold showers help.

The advantages of putting the fear of god on his roommate is that more often than not, he gets the room to himself. That means, you two can hang out there without being disturbed. Tyler is great at being a host, setting up everything perfectly. He tries not to think about how all this planning and organizing is something he used to do for the girls he dated, not for his friends. All the mental torture it’s worth it, when he sees how you kick off your shoes and climb on his bed, nestling yourself there and looking at the fairy lights that slightly illuminate the room.

“This is cozy.” You say, covering yourself with one of the throw blankets he has strategically placed there. “What are we watching? It was your pick this week.”

“The Ring.” Tyler smiles a little when you shudder.

“You know I don’t like horror!” You complain, lips dropping into a pretty pout. It’s convincing, but Tyler likes horror not because he is into the movies, it’s more because he likes the way you cling to him. Sue him. If that’s all he can get, he will have it. Tyler has never been into the business of lying to himself.

“And you know I don’t like Tarantino, and yet you forced me last week to watch Inglourious Basterds.”

“Oh come on, did you see Mélanie Laurent act? She is gorgeous and a badass. You can’t tell me you didn’t end up with a crush on her.”

“She has other movies.” Tyler states, getting into bed next to you after pressing play on his laptop.

“Yeah, nice try. Name one, that’s not Now You See Me.”

“Oxygène.” He answers with a winning smile. Tyler had done his homework. He liked the way your smile brightened when you realized he actually listened to you, and cared about your interests. “Critically acclaimed, or so I have been told.”

“Fancy, even in the original French!” You pulled him closer, and he went without protesting. You tugged at his arm until he wrapped it around you, and sighed happily when you were finally able to use him as a pillow.

As the movie went by, Tyler started carding his fingers through your hair, lightly massaging your head when you flinched at some scenes. Forty-five minutes in or so, you decided you weren’t able to take it anymore, and so, turned down to lay on your stomach, pressing your face against his chest.

“Hey, it’s not so bad.” He grabbed a little of your hair, gently making you tilt your head upwards and trying not to think how it would feel to really tug at your hair and force you to expose your throat.

Your breath caught.

“Don’t freak out.” You said, closing your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction. “But I might want to kiss you.”

“Oh.” Tyler let go of your hair like it burned him. The idea of kissing you was a delicious one, but it scared him too. He didn’t want to ruin your innocence. As for you, you knew Tyler wanted to kiss you too, you could tell by the way he kept sneaking glances at your lips. That had been the reason you had spoken out. “We shouldn’t.”

“Why?” You open your eyes then, staring at him like a petulant child. You would respect his decision if he said he wasn’t into you, but you don’t believe that’s the reason behind it.

“Because you have your whole life in front of you. I would drag you down.” Tyler states, clenching his jaw. It pains him to say it, he wants you so badly, but he wants you to have a shot at happiness too.

“Are you like forty or something? Last time I checked, you had your whole life too.” You roll your eyes a little.

“I would taint you. You are pure, and good and I… I am a monster. I don’t think you get it.” Tyler says, eyes glinting oddly. The idea of innocence… Is he into it? Oh, that was interesting. You make a mental note to test it out after, choosing to let out a snort.

“I’m not as pure as you would think. I’m not innocent, either.” You state, looking him right in the eyes.

“You don’t get it. I have killed people, Y/N.” Tyler strokes your hair once more, trying to soothe the sting of rejection. This conversation is getting to him. Tyler’s eyes are downcast, much the same way they are every time he asks if you are sure you want to keep being friends, if you aren’t disgusted. “Dead. In gorish, gruesome ways.”

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh because this is too a recurring argument.

“Do you?” Tyler’s voice trembles.

“Ty, I know you.”

“You like this sanitized version of me, this boy who brings you flowers and makes you laugh, all gentle hands, but that’s not…” His tone gets angrier, this time. You aren’t too sure what you should say to soothe his fears. Sure, he went a little crazy back then, even arguing he liked murdering people. You know he is scared that might be the truth about him, but for someone who believes himself to be such a dangerous, uncontrolled murdered, there has been a pointed absence of murders.

“Not you?” You decide not to voice your thoughts, too afraid it would end up turning this conversation into a full-blown fight. Tyler frowns.

“It is not me. You might like this version, but as much as I am this, the Hyde is who I am too. And, the things it wants to do to you…” He hides his face between his hands, and your hands go immediately to pull at it.

“Kill me? Permanently maim me?” You ask, pulling at his wrists and looking earnestly into his eyes. You aren’t scared. Even that might be fixable, given enough time.

“No. Own you. “ That is muttered under his breath, as if he is afraid he is going to scare you away. Instead, you smile.

“Oh, Tyler, you should be more worried about the things I want you to do to me.” And with that, you lifted yourself just enough so you could kiss him. Tyler was a good kisser, unsurprisingly. He kissed hungrily, needy, with many more teeth and tongue than any other first kiss you had ever had. It was almost as if he wanted to devour you. It should scare you, you knew it, but it only made him more attractive. Tyler encouraged you to lay on top of him, sliding a knee between yours, so you didn’t have to support your weight and strain to kiss him.

“We need to talk about this.” He said, pulling away. You chased his mouth, pressing another kiss there. Tyler pulled away again, with a fond smile dancing on his lips. “Hey.”

“Mmmmm.” You answered, more focused on the way his mouth moved, flashing pearly whites, instead of the words he was saying. You kissed the corner of his smile, feeling him tense.

“We need, like, safe words and stuff.” Tyler tried to interject, and you kissed him again, this time on the lips. When you pulled apart again, he seemed dazed. “Safe words.” He repeated, less sure of himself.

"Mmmmm. Mine's whale. Now, you either choke me or slap me, but you have to do something.” And maybe you were being too cheeky, but you needed him to fuck you like yesterday. In a surprising move from someone who seemed to be so hesitant to join the program, Tyler flipped you on the bed, ending up with you laying beneath him, thigh firmly pressed against your core.

“The things I want to do to you…” Tyler pulled at your hair, forcing you to expose your neck. The roots of your hair tingle, white-hot pain at your scalp. You don’t complain, curious about his next move. He goes straight for the kill, dragging pointy canines down your pulse point. The idea of those teeth, better suited to puncture skin, rip it apart, sliding down your vulnerable throat gets you horrifyingly wet.

“Do them, then. Or are you all talk?” You smirk, slowly, dangerously. You want to rile him up. Tyler is sweet, but you bet if he lets go, it would be the best sex of your life.

“You are such a brat.” His hand goes to your neck, pressing on your windpipe just enough to take your breath, but not enough you are in any actual danger. You don’t fight him. Tyler finds it cute, the way your pulse flutters under his fingers like a scared bunny, eyes open like you have just seen a miracle. “Why do you like danger so much?”

You just look at him. You aren’t sure what to tell him.

“Answer me, bunny. Or we stop.” Tyler’s hand leaves your throat and goes to grab your jaw harshly. Your lips end puckering up, at the way he is holding you, pressing your cheeks together. He is genuinely curious about it. You seem normal. You have never gone on a murder spree like him, you don’t have a monster sharing your body. But whatever the reason is, you aren’t divulging it now.

“I don’t know.” You say, grabbing at his wrist and placing his hand again on your throat. Tyler decides to drop the theme. He is much more interested in the way your whole body trembles at the feel of his hand on your throat.

“Come on, bunny. Rub yourself on my thigh.” He orders. You stare. Then, testing the waters, always testing, he slaps your cheek lightly. It’s what you asked for, but you didn’t think he would actually go through it. You give a delighted smile, and Tyler can’t help but smile back. You must look like fools. Two lovesick, crazy, fools. “Come on, do as I say.” And because you are practically dripping already, with one of his hands holding your throat, you do as he says, slowly rolling your hips against him. “Good girl.”

Tyler’s grip gets stronger, making your pulse jump. You make a pitiful sound, and that prompts him to push your hair away from your face.

“Come on, Tyler, clothes off.” You plead. You were aroused already, and the harsh denim of his jeans rubbing against yours is making you closer to orgasm than you would like. Tyler eyes you curiously, but he pulls back and struggles to take off your pants and panties in one go. You help him, lifting your hips. The cold air hits your pussy, and you feel a little ashamed at how wet you are from some kisses and rubbing. You look at Tyler, who has already gone back to his previous position. Does he want you to…?

Apparently, your thought process is too slow because he slaps you again. This time, it stings and you whimper.

“Come on. You got what you wanted. Do as I said.” Tyler calmly says. “Don’t tell me you are so dumb from riding my thigh fully clothed.”

You desperately want to please him, but the idea of rubbing your naked pussy against denims makes you hesitate. When you finally do as he wants, you can help but mewl, overwhelmed with the feeling. The material is rough against your clit, scratching at it in a way that’s almost painful. It’s like an itch you are desperate to scratch. Yet, you try to be careful, mindful that you are so wet you are practically dripping over Tyler’s leg.

“You know I can smell other people's emotions, right?” He asks, hand leaving your throat, just so he can come closer. Tyler makes a show of sniffing at your neck, mouth pursing in distaste. You surely shouldn't find it as hot as you do. “Doubt doesn’t smell as nicely as arousal, bunny.”

“But… your pants…”

“Make a mess, darling. Come on.” At that, you let out a tiny moan, and decide to do as Tyler says, pressing your pussy fully against his thigh. “Look at you, all pretty, getting my pants all dirty.”

Tyler doesn’t say it, but this is like a wet dream come to life for him. You are the perfect mix of innocence and sensuality, daring but shy, bold but still wanting him to show you the ropes. Maybe that’s why he gives in so easily, pulling himself out of his pants and rubbing the tip of his cock against your entrance.

“Do you want me to fuck you, bunny?” He wants to hear you say it, but he also wants your explicit consent. It’s such a Tyler gesture, it almost makes you laugh.

“Fuck me, Tyler. Please.” You look at him shyly, playing it up. You can tell he likes it because he slowly presses inside, and you give a slight moan at the stretch. The roll of your hips is calculatedly unsure. Tyler doesn’t move, looking at you with a tiny smirk. “Ty, please. Ah…. I… Tyler.” You beg, and this time it’s not for show.

Tyler doesn’t pull out, choosing instead to grind his hips against yours, until you give a punched out moan and your body tenses at one particular roll. He has been cataloging your reactions, you realize. Tyler pulls out, just to thrust back in and hit that same spot time and time again, with scary accuracy.

He enjoys the way you gasp and arch under him, pressing deeper, harder. When you start to grab desperately at his shoulders, clawing at them, legs tensing around his waist, he brings down his hand on your throat, once again. He squeezes, hard enough to startle you and bring tears to your eyes. “Come on, bunny.” He encourages you. “Make a mess.” And so, you do. The face you make when you come has to be one of his favorite sights in the whole world. It’s enough to make him come too, thrusting into you and making you sob harder from over stimulation. You push at him weakly, and he takes another look at your face.

Mascara is running down your cheeks, lip gloss messy around your mouth. You don’t look innocent anymore, you look debauched. The Hyde grumbles happily, and Tyler knows. He is never, ever letting you go.

Okayy I get where you’re coming from with the yunjin defending, and the next questions I’m asking fully genuinely.

Before this incident, somi (her friend) and Giselle (also her friend) received so much backlash for promoting Starbucks (somi) and posting McDonald’s (Giselle). After seeing the amount of backlash she got, she removed all her insta posts with Starbucks. Yet afterwards, she got Starbucks and PUBLICLY drank it? That’s what’s confusing to me — how she knew the consequences but still did it?

and what’s also confusing is how Yunjin is one of the most *chronically* online idols. She always knows what’s trending, new dances, and whatnot. And the g3no going on in Palestine isn’t hidden from Korea. I, myself, live in Japan but my dad lives in Korea, and he’s fully aware of the boycott (a 45 year old Asian man). And his alternative is drinking from other coffee shops, cause there is one in every corner of Seoul. After every street you walk, guaranteed 100% you’ll find a coffee shop. So that doesn’t make sense, why Starbucks, even though she highly knows of the ongoing boycott.

Secondly is how Rachel (her sister) liked dozens of pro-Zionists content on Instagram. And I know you guys say that not everyone thinks the same, but I just think it ties into it (personally).

And thirdly is how yunjin is an adult, she knew about the boycott, the reactions she’d get and how tens of thousands of kids (excluding teenagers) have died in the hands of Israelis. (Look at motaz’s page on insta for reference, big tw). She, if not, should know how severe the situation is in Palestine, specifically Rafah and Gaza. Yunjin is not a baby, she doesn’t need to be babied, just like how you guys are babying them for their icky live vocals, it won’t get them anywhere.

And regardless of wether Starbucks donated to Isreal or not, they’ve clearly shown their support to which side they’re on when they’ve fired workers over TWEETS their workers made over solidarity with Palestine. And to add onto it, they only “apologized” after losing BILLIONS of dollars.

That’s just me and my questions.

Hey I’ll answer your questions one by one, and no worries I understand where you’re coming from. (I’m gonna be a bit out of order so please bare with me.)

Again, (jesus I really dont wat to defend sb, so please understand i’m simply stating facts.) Starbucks sued the union because they used their logo to state a political statement. That was the reason they sued them. As stated in their official website, they do not see their company as a political one and doesn’t want to be revolved in ANYTHING related to politics. So that means even if the Union - per say - showed ‘support towards Joe Biden’, or any other political party or ideology, they would’ve acted the same. That’s how I see it.

Nobody was babying Yunjin. I’m not exactly sure if you’re accusing me or people who supported my post of babying her, but I’m clearly not. I stated directly that, I’m not saying not to take her accountable for her actions. Nobody’s babying her, especially me. I’m also not saying that she wasn’t aware of the war. I’m saying her ‘chronically online’ personality is being exaggerated in this situation. She’s a grown woman with a job, and a persona created for the crowd. Personally, I understand Lesserafim and any group in kpop as a CHARACTER. They’re not always real (even if there are exceptions), and seeing the Hun Yunjin and Yunjin of LSF as same is wrong.

Icky vocals? Not helping? That’s just a rude statement for you to make and completely irrelevant to the discussion at hand. That was unnecessary.

I’m an only child so I can’t say much of the average sibling dynamic, but I’m pretty sure Rachel and Yunjin are separate entities. They’re different people. Just like how my mother’s Christian and I’m an Atheist, just because you’re a family doesn’t mean you have the same ideology. You trying to link Rachel’s actions with her sister is just a hasty generalization.

I understand your father is in Korea and boycotts Starbucks. That’s great, Im also Korean and boycott, too. But the reason I said Starbucks isn’t as wildly boycotted in Korea compared to other countries is based on my personal interactions. From my school friends, colleagues, random people I’ve seen online, and even my family, quite literally all of them seemed to be unaware of the Starbucks boycott. Every Starbucks I’ve seen near my house (albeit which is in Busan) is filled to the brim with people. That includes shops in non populated areas AND tourist destination areas. Additionally, no news has been widely spread about the boycott on any Korean news websites that I’ve seen. MBC, KBS, and other news sites I’ve checked doesn’t even talk about boycotting at all. (It’s not something to be proud of, yes. I am simply stating a fact. ) With all these reasons I came to the conclusion not alot of Koreans are actively boycotting SB.

Are there alot of coffee shops in Korea? Yes. Are there alot of SB in Korea? Also yes. Korea ranks fourth in Starbucks location amounts. However, with this part of my post you’re focusing too much on a reasoning I understood could be a bit of a reach and not mentioning the reasoning I gave which said SB Korea is separate from the western organization. It’s bought out. Ideologies are different. Emart and the investment company has no statement regarding the war.

Somi and Giselle is completely unrelated to her actual ideologies. Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean they all fucking think the same. It is different people to people, but I don’t think every friend group gets together to discuss the society and political wars happening. You’re making a hasty generalization again - similar to your statement about Rachel. I don’t understand why you’re bringing up the two to counter my post about Huh Yunjin.

Yes, she most likely saw the backlash, and again, she didn’t publicly show “oh hey lookie i’m drinking SB”, she was just going to her company quickly and a few pixels of her cup was caught on a fan’s camera. That’s why I said in the original post that the people accusing her of being a performative activist are hypocrites.

My main point of the post wasn’t to a 100% defend Yunjin. The point was to say, if you’re gonna take someone accountable, do it right. Don’t make a mockery of her, you’re not any better than the people protecting her of her actions blindly. And don’t follow the crowd blindly to just simply get attention.

I don’t really want to fill my posts with these long posts, so if you have anymore follow up questions and discussions please DM me.

Swipe City: Part 4 Pre-Cursor

Disclaimer: This is fiction. I do not know any celebrity appearing in this story. It has been years since I have written anything; so, please be kind.  

Warnings: Mention of Age Gap (All parties are of legal age; OC is older), Female pronouns used (purely because I’m female and using some of my life experiences as inspiration.)  

@mllynne @breakablehcaven

“Soooooooooooo.” Christian cocks an eyebrow at Mason’s weirdness.

“Don’t give me that look, mate. You’ve been in your phone every time we take a break from FIFA.”  Mason replies with a stern look.

Christian sighs. Any time Mason gets an idea in his head, he becomes like a dog with a bone and will not let it go. In other words, there is no use in trying to lie to or distract Mason, because he will just dig harder to discover the truth. 

Not wanting to deal with more pestering, Christian goes straight for the truth. “I set up a profile on the app you showed me, and I’ve matched with someone. We are suppose to be going out on Wednesday.” Christian grumbles. He knows Mason and prepares himself for what he is fairly certain will follow next. 

“YEESSSSSSSS.” Mason yells. Christian cringes. Why couldn’t he have picked one of the other quiet ones to be best friends with? 

Mason’s yelling grabs the attention of the other guys causing Christian to sigh again– it’s about to no longer be his private life, but instead their private life. 

“What are you on about, Mase?” Jude asks.

   “Our resident American has got himself a date on Wednesday.”  Mason grins. “And it’s all thanks to my suggesting a dating app.” 

Kai looks at him curiously. “You actually followed one of Mount’s suggestions?” 

Mason glares at Kai while the others laugh. Christian relaxes a little and reminds himself these are his friends.  

As Mason and Kai bicker over who gives the worst suggestions, Reece approaches him. 

“So, a date.”    Christian blushes and nods. “Yeah, she seems nice so far.”   

“She know who you are?” Jude joins the conversation.

  “No, I kept my identity hidden when I made the account. We did exchange phone numbers, but we’ve only talked on the phone.” 

“You sure she isn’t crazy, mate? I mean she is going out with you and supposedly doesn’t know what you look like.”  Ben adds. 

Christian balks at the idea. What if Y/N does know who he is and is just lying? What if she figured out his identity based on the picture of his dog or something?

“Chilly, take that negativity out of here.” Reece defends. “I’m sure she is a nice person. Just go with your gut instinct.” 

“Ay, I want to see a picture!” Mason yells as he grabs Kai in a headlock.  Leave it to Mason to break the tension. 

Christian bashfully grins and pulls out his phone. He opens to Y/N’s dating profile and shows the guys as they crowd around him and the phone. 

“Damn. She’s beautiful.”  “Aww, she’s girl you with the nerdiness.” “Does she have any single friends?”  

The compliments keep coming until one causes a deadly silence. “34?”   Of course, it was Ben who notices the age. 

“Don’t you think that’s a bit old for you, mate? I mean you are young, successful, rich, and handsome. Why not go for someone closer to our ages who can go out and have a good time with us?” Ben questions.

Before Christian can think of a response, Mason speaks up. “I’ve been on dates with women that age and a little older. Those are the best ones, because they don’t typically act crazy and start posting everything on instagram when they figure out who I am. Usually, it’s a bit of a ‘oh, that’s cool.’ and we move onto a different subject. I think it’s a great idea, Chris.” 

Reece nods his agreement. Kai shrugs–he doesn’t know what it’s like to date that much older. Jude smiles supportively but awkwardly considering 34 is old enough to be his mother. 

“Besides, she could easily pass for 28.” Mason grins and claps Christian on the back. The group laughs as Christian bashfully shakes his head.

Ben smiles and says a little mental prayer that this doesn’t back fire on his dear friend–he doesn’t want to see Christian broken again like his last failed relationship.

Moral Orel #29: “Nature” | July 9, 2007 - 12:15AM | S02E19

This is an incredible episode. The first of a two-parter that caps off season two in a similar fashion to season one (if you watched it in production order and not airdate order, that is [this will always be a thing, sorry]). A Moral Orel episode where the facade of Moralton begins to crack and we’re let in on how real this world actually is. This one starts off slightly atypically: in Clay’s study, post-Orel-being-punished for some vague offense. The tone is pretty typical Moral Orel, bleakly-tinged darkly-comic dialogue and one-liners, a conventional story beginning to unfold that will soon have some wicked twist applied to it, strong visual storytelling and amusing background details, etc. All the shit you expect from Moral Orel.  

The plot is that Clay simply wants to take Orel hunting, as it’s about that time in a child’s/TV-show’s life when a father does that with his son. Personally, I’ve never hunted. But I came of age at a time and place when and where it was still fairly common shared experience among boys Orel’s age when I was also Orel’s age. Orel doesn’t have it in him to hunt down one of God’s creatures, despite Clay’s insistence that they are merely helping the animals take “nature’s shortcut”; God’s preference to man gave them the wisdom to flee from Nature, putting the animals in a pitiable position of remaining “ungodly”. So, taking them out as a part of a hunting expedition is akin to putting these damned souls out of their misery. It’s tortured logic, but that’s Christianity for you. (Penn & Teller Bullshit theme begins playing). 

Clay gets drunker and drunker and more and more cruel towards Orel. Not only does he shoot a deer in front of Orel against Orel’s wishes, he also kills a random person’s hunting dog, which is terrible. Clay cruelly denies Orel dinner, because he didn’t kill anything himself. Orel eventually calls Clay out on his drunkenness, which causes him to sort of go manic, just dumping nihilism on his son. The show is now a harrowing psycho-drama. Orel is clutching a pistol, which happens to be pointed at his dad. Orel fires. TO BE CONTINUED…

This one is pretty brutal, in the same vein of “Best Christmas Ever”. When Orel hesitantly tells his father that he’s too drunk, and that they need to go home, it breaks your heart. You’re witnessing this kid grow up in real time. Orel is supposed to be an innocent kid. Furthermore, he’s supposed to be a smart-allecky parody of Davey from Davey and Goliath. How could the writers let this happen? 

One really important thing to mention about this episode: In addition to being a “bummer” episode, it’s also exceptionally funny. The jokes in the show are especially strong, and land exquisitely. Maybe I only think this because I was bracing myself for the darker aspects of this episode as a Clay-aged person whose since become less in-denial about how much of an asshole my own father is. I didn’t like, get emotional or anything, but I was just sorta like “DAMN, YES. HOLY SHIT IT DO BE LIKE THAT”. Mine has never been as bad as Clay, but I’ve witnessed a drunken downward spiral from him more than I care to have. 

The events of this episode (as well as the next) will set the stage for season three, which is thirteen episodes (cut down from twenty) of shows that either take place right before or right after the hunting trip, as well as flashback episodes that are spurred by individual moments within this episode. It’s an ambitious and often emotional journey. There are no less than four episodes of season three that have been known to make me sob. This makes me wonder if I remembered all these moments in this episode that tie into other episodes (Orel’s vague references to whatever deed got him punished in the beginning comes to mind). Complex, non-linear chronology and side-stories are explored. Mountain Goats songs are licensed. I’m not reading ahead so I won’t go too deep into what connects with what in this post. But like Jesus and me, it’s coming (I always immediately bust when I finish a write-up).

To Be Continued (this is me edging).

Santa Fe is about more than Santa Fe

I cannot begin to emphasis how much I love the song “Santa Fe,” specifically the Newsies 1992 version sang by teenage Christian Bale. When asked what my favorite song is, this is the answer. I listen to it when I feel sad and my mood immediately rises. I hum it while I’m alone. It was the first song I listened to with my newborn. This song touches my soul.

“Santa Fe” is raw, and heartfelt, and honest. I’ll defend the 1992 version until my dying breath. 

It’s a really easy song to overlook compared to the upbeat fun dance numbers throughout the movie. It’s not as joyous as “King of New York,” or catchy like “Seize the Day.” None of our favorite ensemble characters are in it. It’s not even sung by a professional singer.

And yet ... I love it. So I’m going to break down why “Santa Fe” is so meaningful.

“Santa Fe” starts after Jack meets the Jacobs family and eats dinner with them. While Jack and David talk outside on the fire escape, David’s mother can be heard inside humming the melody of “Santa Fe” to Les as he falls asleep. Jack hears the melody of her lullaby and uses it to express his own emotional turmoil.

The most important part about “Santa F”e is that it isn’t about the city Santa Fe at all. It’s about finding a place to belong, a place with friends and family who care about Jack.

Cool. But why doesn’t Jack just sing about wanting friends and family instead? It would be a lot more straightforward. Yes it would. He doesn’t do this because Jack himself doesn’t even understand his feelings yet. He’s too close and emotionally caught up to step back and analyze his thoughts. Or at least, he doesn’t have the words to verbalize his true desire, not at the start of the movie.

Jack begins the song trying to process his experience being part of a family, if only for one meal. He tries to convince himself he’s better off alone, because again, I don’t think he knows how to express what he really wants yet. He’s just trying to protect himself by convincing himself he’s not as lonely as he feels.

“So that's what they call a family Mother, daughter, father, son Guess that everythin' you heard about is true So you ain't got any family Well who said you needed one? Ain't you glad nobody's waiting up for you?”

“When I dream, on my own I'm alone but I ain't lonely For a dreamer, night's the only time of day When the city's finally sleepin' And my thoughts begin to stray And I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe”

We know from previous dialog with David and the other newsies that Jack wants to leave New York to become a cowboy in Santa Fe. Ask any of his fellow newsies  and they’ll say his dream is to become a cowboy. He reads dime novels about cowboys living grand adventures, and his personal hero, his idol Teddy Roosevelt, is a famous outdoors man.

So it should make sense that the next verses discuss Jack’s dream of living in Santa Fe, right? What he wants to do there, what the city is like, the details of the dream he fantasizes about as he falls asleep imagining. Except they aren’t.

“And I'm free, like the wind Like I'm gonna live forever It's a feelin' time can never take away! All I need's a few more dollars And I'm outta here to stay Dreams comes true, yes they do In Santa Fe

“Where does it say that you gotta live and die here? Where does it say a guy can't catch a break? Why should you only take what you're given? Why should you spend your whole life livin' Trapped where they ain't no future, even at seventeen Breakin' your back for someone else's sake? If the life don't seem to suit ya, how 'bout a change of scene? Far from the lousy headlines and the deadlines in between”

Not once does he describe anything about the city of Santa Fe or what he wants to do if he lives there. The verses only talk about how Jack would feel if he went there. The specific location where he wants to go doesn’t actually matter. He could switch out the name of the city and he’d still feel relief at the idea of going there because he’s more interested in leaving New York than being in a new city.

He only wants freedom and escape from his current lousy circumstances. He’s more focused on leaving all of the frustrating parts of his life behind. In fact, never once in the film does he describe what he wants to do in Santa Fe.

Compare this to the lyrics of the Santa e Prologue from the Broadway show.

“Close your eyes Come with me Where it's clean and green and pretty And they went and made a city outta clay “Why, the minute that ya get there Folks'll walk right up and say "Welcome home, son Welcome home to Santa Fe!" “Plantin' crops Splittin' rails Swappin' tales around the fire 'Cept for Sunday when you lie around all day”

Broadway!Jack does nothing but describe the city and what he wants to do while he’s there. The other characters in the stage show get annoyed because Jack won’t shut up about how lovely and perfect Santa Fe is to him.

Jack in the film only likes the idea of running away to Santa Fe, of leaving all his his problems behind. Being poor, aging out of being a newsie, being lonely, being an orphan. He doesn’t actually want to go to Santa Fe. He just wants to escape New York and all of the problems he has there.

That’s a pretty tall order. I don’t blame Jack for not being able to express those thoughts and feelings clearly.

Santa Fe turns into an umbrella term that holds all of his emotions and thoughts about escaping, freedom from hardship, and the longing for people that care about him.

By the end, Jack and the audience realize what he actually wants most is a place to belong, a place filled with friends and found family. Not a train ticket to Santa Fe. So when he doesn’t go to Santa Fe when given the chance, he’s not abandoning his dream. He’s figured out that everything he thought he could find in Santa Fe, freedom and companionship, was already in New York so there was no reason to leave.

Wanting something so badly, but not being able to describe exactly what that thing was spoke to me so deeply when I first discovered Newsies as a teenager. It’s so human. I understood Jack’s dream because too wanted to escape (an emotionally and verbally abusive household) but at the time I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone specifically what I wanted or why I wanted it because the desire was too complicated and emotionally turbulent to construct into neat, tidy little sentences.

Beyond the meaning behind Santa Fe, I adore Christian Bale’s version because he’s not a trained singer showing off his pipes. Neither am I. The song was written to be easy to sing while still carrying a lot of emotional weight. And I really appreciate how soft and quiet the song is too. It’s intimate and personal, like having the privilege to know someone’s innermost thoughts after being trusted with their diary.

The song is complicated, imperfect, and deeply human. And this is why I adore “Santa Fe.”

For My 1000 Followers

Hi everyone! I know it’s been ages but I’ve been getting a surge of followers lately that I had to have a look at the number. I was super surprised so I’m here to say:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1000 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!

*coughs* I’m an old lady …

I’m actually in my early twenties and have been pretty inactive in the Voltage/Kissed By The Baddest Bidder fandom for a few years now. Things got intense with my studies the past few years and I haven’t had much time for writing fanfiction as much as I wanted to. I even made a New Years Resolution last year to write more fanfics but that never happened.

I wanted to take a moment to discuss what’s gonna happen moving forward with this blog. When I first made it, I was at the peak of my obsession with Voltage Inc otome games and specifically, Eisuke Ichinomiya. I found Tumblr and realised it was a place to write fanfiction and fall in love with my favourite otome characters from games like KBTBB and Star Crossed Myth. Eventually, I was added to the Discord, Otome Fanatics, and became even more involved with the community, entering writing competitions, talking with likeminded people, getting to share in the love for the company and their amazing games.

Soon though, my studies were starting to catch up to me and I found myself having less time to write. Now, I’ve never been personal on this blog but I’m going to start today. My name is Olivia and I’m a postgraduate Creative Writing student who completed a Bachelors in Creative Writing. So, I’m pretty committed to my work as a writer. I wanted to make the best kind of writing that I could for these amazing characters that Voltage have fleshed out for us to play with. This does include drafting and editing like mad!

I still love Eisuke, he’s still my favourite character, but since the past couple of years, I’ve lost interest in the games, I hardly go on the app anymore. My interests have since moved onto characters from TV shows, movies, games, and book characters.

The one thing that I love the most is reading. My favourite genre is crime fiction and since April 2022, I became obsessed with Ian Rankin’s detective novel series, John Rebus. He’s a Scottish detective inspector who is always in trouble for something while trying to capture criminals all over Edinburgh. He’s a wonderful, morally grey character who gets put through the ringer more than once. I read the first book and was immediately hooked! I have collected the entire series plus some plays that Rebus stars in! I was able to read the entire series (24 books) in 8 months! I absolutely adore Rebus and plan to write fanfiction for him cause he’s amazing and my new husband! I highly recommend the series for anyone who likes crime fiction and Scotland.

My next obsession began at the end of December where I finally read American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis. I fell in love with Patrick Bateman, which has transcended into a complete maddening obsession with Christian Bale. I mean, what an actor! And he’s so handsome! I’ve currently watched over 20 of his movies, including, The Dark Knight Trilogy, Equilibrium, 3:10 to Yuma, The Pale Blue Eye and many more. I may plan to write for Bale characters in the future but that’s still unsure.

During the pandemic, during lockdown, I finally started watching House M.D in 2020 and fell in love with Hugh Laurie and his character, Gregory House. Again, I had an obsession for ages! Hugh Laurie is an amazing actor. I also fell in love with the TV show, Chicago Fire and Taylor Kinney.

Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption II stole my heart in 2018 when the game came out. I have since bought the game on Steam and fell in love with his character. There may be some fanfics for him as well that I want to write and post!

I’m gonna start rebranding this blog into a place where I can dish out my love for all these characters and reposting much more. If you have book recommendations then I would love to know what they are! I mostly read crime fiction and realist and occasionally, sci-fi and fantasy and poetry.

Eisuke and Voltage will still be in my heart and I will continue to write for him and Leon (who I was also obsessed with for a long while – I guess I just love sadistic characters!) and I may end up posting book reviews or posts rambling on about how much I love Christian Bale. For those of you who have sent in requests for Eisuke, I do plan to write those and eventually I will post them.

I’m still very grateful for all those who have followed me and have been here since the start of this blog. I know its been very quiet but hopefully that will change this year in 2023.

Happy Festivus to all who celebrate! Welcome to what I'm calling Blurry Time '23. Elfcon is over, the preparations are done. It's all cookies and coffee from here.

I'm a fan of Outlined, the web comic by Chaz Hutton. My favorite comic is the drawing of a December calendar page where the second half is basically a bunch of wiggly lines.

That perfectly captures the feel of the season. Even for those of us working a normal day job schedule, there is a sense of shared down time and camaraderie among those out and about actually doing the things  for that week between Christmas eve and New Years day.

It's truly liminal space and time. It is magical time. It is time disconnected from time - or something like that.

2023 as a whole felt very liminal and transitional. It was a blurry-ish year moving from the extended pandemic dumpster fire years 2020-22 (2016-22 if you live in the U.S.) We'll get back to how 2024 is looking when we do the annual just-for-fun (and wishful thinking) year-ahead Tarot reading next weekend (-ish)

In the meantime, I want to use blurry time to bridge years.

2023 was the first full year of Sage Words Tarot. I want to circle back around and use the blurry time re-introduce it all for the bright, shiny new year on the way.

I don't know why - probably no reason at all - but it always seems to start with musing about names.

Hi! I'm Sage.

I'm also a Tarot reader and author of Sage Sips blog.

I've been reading Tarot and oracle cards since around 1992 which adds up to 30 years of experience with Tarot and intuition development (!)

I didn't originally start out to be a Tarot reader (who does?) At first, I did readings for myself and friends (why PAY for it when you can DIY it?) After close friend suggested I go online with my readings (eternal gratitude!) I offered psychic Tarot readings through Keen, Advice Trader and AllExperts under my old internet handle, Baihu. After doing hundreds of online readings (I stopped counting after 400) I opened my own Tarot practice in 2003 which grew to include ModernOracleTarot.com, the Tarotbytes blog and the now-defunct Quirk & Flotsam shop on Etsy.

It was all good, but had become a hodge-podge of names and logos over the years. Then along came the Covid pandemic and changed things even more. After a short interim as TaoCraft Tarot (2018-2023) I've been working as SageWordsTarot.com and writing Sage Sips blog ever since.

TaoCraft lingers in layout names. TaoCraft was drawn from my love of Taoist philosophy. My Tarot work will always be guided by the principles of simplicity, authenticity, and kindness. It was also drawn from my affinity for solitary eclectic witchcraft. The TaoCraft name means a lot to me, but not so much to anyone else who sees it and that's a problem because these Tarot readings aren't about me - they are for YOU and about YOU.

Sage is a pen name, which helps to protect our privacy. Christian nationalism and religious bigotry is a very real thing here in America.  I will do all I can to make this a safe space for everyone, especially for the lgbtquia+ community and those of us who are not Christian.

The herb sage has a comforting, familiar scent and flavor that most of us know from home cooking and holiday turkeys.

In aromatherapy, sage incense and essential oil can clear negative energy, calm anxiety and promote a feeling of general well being.

The word sage also means something or someone who is wise. The word sage describes the wise advice Tarot gives.

Safety, comfort, calmness, wisdom and a feeling that things are going to be alright are all qualities I hope you’ll experience when you read the blog, visit my social media or best of all get a private reading of your own .

Click HERE if you would like to order a private Tarot reading by email, no appointment needed.

Click HERE to schedule a flat rate ($40) in-person, phone or online reading (valid email required to participate)

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Understanding Love

First of all, this is not about KathNiel’s breakup, although I am really affected by it too.

Even when I was younger, I often hear the statement, “love is not enough”. I believed it too, but I didn’t understand it back then.

I always believed how strong and powerful love is. Because it pushes you to do things you never imagined yourself doing. Love is a noun and a verb. It is also an adjective because God is love. Love is a glue that binds everyone together, and at the same time a fire that destroys everything in a small amount of time.

Love is so powerful that it could even kill you.

But love could change you. It could bring either the best or the worst out of you.

They say love is blind. Because when you are in love all you see is the good things in the person, in or out. We tend to disregard the toxic behaviors of the person we love. Sometimes, their physical appearance as well.

I craved for a love that is a complete opposite of what I see in my parents.

I used to think that the most visible expression of love is the act of kindness and goodness. I also believe, until now, that the most important thing in a person is the heart. It’s being good (well, next to love because I do not believe there is goodness in the absence of love. When we love, everything follows).

Nothing is better than being good to people.

So I always taught myself that in looking for a partner, I should never look for wealth, but for heart alone. Because money can be earned anytime. I was not sent to a good school to be a housewife one day. I am proud I am not a gold digger, and was sure that I can earn my own money.

So it happened.

Reuben and I were together for more than four years. We were together in my entire college years.He is a good man, and I’m proud he is. He loves me very much. He is faithful. Most importantly, he is a Christian… But only in religion. He is jobless, and he just got back to school last three years. He is not rich.

At first, I thought it’s fine.

I understand he has no money and I appreciate his small gifts every occasion, although not consistently, but I appreciate. If he can make an effort to give me gifts even he has nothing, what more could he give when he has something? Ever since when we go out, I spent all the time, and it’s fine. During the pandemic, I didn’t really need the money, though I have a little. And I did appreciate how he stayed by my side even at the lowest point of my life when I struggled with depression and anxiety, and always wanted to die.

He was with me. When I thought nobody was, he is. Even we don’t see each other all the time, he is there. And I appreciated.

But then eventually, a lot of things happened, a lot had changed. My needs have changed. I need his presence more than everything else. I even offered to spend for everything, just so he can suffice my needs. It worked, but not very well. He started to treat me differently. He started making excuses all the time. He could not prioritize me anymore. He always got reasons. He is often irritated, then be sorry later on. At some point, he is not him anymore, he is not the person I used to love before. He’ll be sorry but manipulate things, gives lame reasons and often reprimands me. He started invalidating my feelings.

We broke up and get back again all the time. Because he could not keep his promises. He is not a man of his word. Nor a provider or a leader or a man I used to know.

I was not blinded by his red flags, I know I didn’t deserve it. And in return, even I remained as sweet as candy, my heart turned cold. I always find fault in him. I count his wrongs, unintentionally, because I tried not to make a big deal about it, but a small move creates a huge impact when piled up.

This is how I understand why love is not enough.

A relationship built with love is a good seed, but with not enough water and sunlight, it could not grow.

A relationship is like a plant, it has its own needs (good soil, water, and sunlight) to be sustained constantly. A relationship does not circle in love alone. It should always have trust, respect, and everything each person needs. People have desires other than love. The persons who belong to a relationship should acknowledge and honor these needs. And most importantly, a relationship needs God to fix each other’s fault. He will cut your withered leaves and watch over you. A God-centered relationship is something I used to dream. And I thought having a born again boyfriend is the answer, but no. A religion of person does not define true Christianity.

So I realize now, with all that been said, that love can really be enough to sustain a relationship because God is love. And we should surrender it all to Him. On the other hand, his graciousness and perfect will was enough indeed for this world, but the world did not accept Him. He is enough, but people chose something else.

In other words, I could say that love is enough. But it should be accompanied by actions.

Being good is also enough. But we can argue that people don’t stop being good while giving into temptations at the same time, because you are not defined but your mistakes. It is true. But this world is completely different from the ways of God. You see, being a good Christian means to be firm to not fall for sin. But all Christians sin every single day. It’s not fine, but God understands that humans are weak, that’s why His grace is sufficient for us, because His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12).

It is impossible to live a life without God. Because God created life. He is life.

Therefore, when we feel that love is not enough, we should start assessing ourselves: “did I ever seek God’s will over mine?” If not, then we should pray harder! Repent and seek His will. Just think about every single move you make. It might go against the will of God without you realizing it.

We also have to understand that no relationship is perfect for us humans, we always have to seek God.

No person could ever comprehend the goodness of God, and His peace despite of imperfections.

Well, not all relationships are for a lifetime. Sometimes, it is also God’s will for us to love somebody but don’t end up with them. It is part of God’s plan for our progress and growth. And it is not a waste of time. And it definitely does not mean that love is not enough.

Be dependent on God.

A game of: SMASH OR PASS, regarding my alters, in chronological order of their first appearance (that I remember)

(excluding littles… OBVIOUSLY)

1: ON THE BED, IN THE CAR, ON THE STAIRS, IN PUBLIC, IN PRIVATE, ON VIDEO, TOPPING, BOTTOMING, DOMMING, SUBBING, WHILE EATING, WHILE STARVING, WHILE DRUNK, WHILE SOBER, UNDER THE STARS, OVER THE TABLE, ETC ETC HE’S SO FUCKING HOTTTTTT

(though he’s absolutely the worst most toxic attachment in this list. He was an adult and I was like 13 when he took over my body forcefully, almost committed murder with it, and then raised me to be a soulless, unloveable bastard. He also violated me sexually at least once. I need him so bad though I need him so bad)

2: No. Pass. I was literally him under five years ago, I hate myself too much to fuck a dude who is essentially a different me, but is way more judgemental than me, way less chill than me, and even less morally sound. At least he was more ambitious and hopeful though!

3: Neither, she’s too ethereal and pure… I’d just stare at her in awe for three hours straight and then work up the courage to snuggle with her and weep while she pets my hair

4: Maybe? Idk my parents would definitely approve of him

5: Imagine doing the nasty with a robot xenomorph thing… (that means pass. I’m not like some of you absolute weirdos)

6: SMASHHHHHHH YES YES YES!!!!! (He’s the same dude as #1 at least 30% of the time due to merging, and when he’s not, he’s still really similar and he currently has the same face claim as #1 rn (Fugue Harvey Dent from Gotham Knights, episode 10 “Poison Pill”… **moans and arches back**), so SMASH. But I’d slap his face and spank him a LOT more and a LOT harder than #1 because he’s a lying piece of SHIT which annoys the hell out of me because I’m tryna figure out the truth of what caused all of this and I do NOT appreciate people who get between me and my goals, which is unfair because #1 is actually WAY worse and WAY more toxic)

7. SMASH!!! He’s spooky and kooky and I liked him a lot in the very short time we had together! Also his face claim was Christian Bale’s Gorr, so… (twirls hair and bites lip)

8: PASS PASS PASS she’s lovely I’m sure but that’s Jesus’s MOTHER I need to take a shower in holy water just thinking abt it…

9: Idk depends on which iteration of Barbie she is. If she looks like Margot Robbie then 100% SMASH

10: Pass… They weren’t unsexy per sé but they had 0% sexy energy and 100% emergency situation energy. Like a person sitting next to you under a desk in an active shooter situation telling you to shut tf up

11. PASS. She’s absolutely batshit insane and a cunt… Though I’d prolly hit her up if I was self-loathing and felt like I wanted to be genuinely abused and violated (/nonsexual, /nonhyperbolic)

BONUS!!!! THEORIZED ALTERS:

Theorized alter 1: wow PAAAAAAASSSSSS. I hope I never hear from him again. He makes me feel like absolute SHIT whenever he’s around and he NEVER shuts up!

Theorized alter 2: Hell no PASS I was him like less than nine months ago and he’s pathetic and erratic and insane. Like peak BPD behaviour but not in a tumblr sexy way. Just in a desperate train wreck way. Everyone was right abt him being cringe. Though I do feel bad for him because his behavior was a result of being in so much pain that he was literally being driven insane by it and had to go to the emergency room multiple times for actual physical health issues that literally manifested from the emotional pain itself. He felt like his organs were rotting and/or being lit on fire for like at least nine hours a day, and would do ANYTHING to try and avoid it, even if it meant being horrible and doing horrible shit to try and summon alter #1, who doesn’t feel emotional pain. He didn’t deserve allat he was just tryna succeed

Theorized alter 3: SMASH!!!! I’d be absolutely honored, I could only wish to be worthy of such a gift from his holiness! I suspect he’s prolly (based off of?) the same guy as #1 & #6, though I’ve never met him personally nor do I know much about him. He’s the alter at the top of the entire system hierarchy, I think.

And that’s all the (non-little) hoes in my brain I feel like putting in the effort to remember for this post, though I think I have more.

We Broke His Heart - The Revelation 🕊️🌱

Glory to the Lord for continuously giving us all a new day to breathe and to give Him all the praise, honor and glory!

God has put these topic into my heart before the surgery I had; so much has happened to my health but God has been so faithful and so perfect that He has delivered me through this entire process. During this time, I told my apostle I thought I wasn’t going to live to see the next day due to hearing a voice say that my time had come to an end; to this day I’m still surprised but extremely thankful to God for everything He’s done, so much that I’ve definitely felt different and see life differently than before. Whilst the people who continue to create division in my life are still people I choose to love, with God’s revelation He gave me I asked Him for help to write this on experiences that I’ve gathered from speaking to other brothers and sister’s in Christ because as One Body and One Spirit that He’s showed me; I’ve come to see that love He always spoke about.

I always asked God to reveal to His people how we are breaking His heart. When I started my walk in Christ, one of the things I asked Him always was to show us what was hurting His heart; something that a lot of preachers say is, “worship isn’t about you” and “your entire walk is based on God, not on you” and for the most part I find that to be true, worship isn’t about us and our walk isn’t based on us; however, how we worship does and how we walk does as well; what do I mean by this? How we worship, if we have other things in our minds and if we have others sitting at the throne of our hearts and we’re worshipping God at that same moment, there’s going to be intrusive thoughts and a heart that’s not on God, God doesn’t want worship lips and a stray heart. How we walk in Christ, God doesn’t love a heart that deceives nor does He want a heart that’s not contrite, whilst you may look beautifully clean on the outside what we speak and do come from our hearts and the Word says that what’s done in secret will come to the light.

God revealed many things and how we, His people can make division because of what many believe in or what many think that is appropriate for one, only they ruin it for that same person because they want to speak for others. Unfortunately, everyone of us will fall in this area, and it’s a guarantee. However, the Lord is with us. He promises us that He never leaves us alone during trials nor tribulations; He’s not a God that watches us suffer and then comes to our aid, no no no, God is a God that wants to deliver us, He says so much through Isaiah that He will be with us through waters, through fires. God is a God who keeps His promises. Not only that so but He also says that after suffering He makes that promise that He will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish us (1 Peter 5:10). This topic doesn’t only touch on public people but also people in general like myself, like christian content creators, etc., I had to deal with a public person who blasphemed and justified what their friend said with the Bible; obliviously saying that their friend had done nothing wrong but quoted the Bible; to which many of us who were saying it was blasphemy, got called pharisees and for not having a sense of humor that even God found it funny. But I couldn’t see how God could laugh at a content creator using a soap and dramatically say the last part of when He told the Father it was finished. We all sometimes can come off like John and James when they wanted fire to strike the Samaritans for disrespecting Jesus (Luke 9:54-55), but we got to forgive and remember that not everyone has the same revelation yet, it’s about having patience with people who commit sin and realizing that you need to pray for them instead because we are called to be peacemakers, who will be called children of God

There’s good representation and bad representation and this is of a follower in Christ; I’m more than positive that there has been both good and bad representation from myself, and I’m more than gladly to speak of my tempers, my talkative persona, how I forget Scripture or where I read the Scripture, etc., and this is very serious to me personally because the Word of God is no joke and not a conversation that you should manipulate to fit your life to excuse you of wanting to do something wrong, especially when speaking to those who want to believe in God; there’s a lot of people who will ask for Bible references (I’m one of those people), I love when people can explain the Truth in simple terms because the Word has deeper meanings, but right now the bad representations that I was revealed are of those that are visibly around the world who are doing things that cause chaos around the world, I’ve stumbled upon many many people of different ages, of both genders who have definitely not shown the love of Christ to others as we should be doing. I observed this in a lot of people who claims to walk in Christ, I still remember seeing a person telling someone something very uncomfortable even for me about having joy in watching someone suffering in hell for not accepting Jesus; something that I take personal not because it was told to me but because they make people push Jesus away due to people like that. Paul has said that we must judge righteously in church and we must not do it to those outside of church, it’s a constant reminder that I make to not only myself but many people who try to evangelize online who get frustrated with nonbelievers or people of different beliefs. The worst type of those who force Jesus on others, when that’s the work of God, Paul mentions this in 1 Cor 3:7 that even though God used Paul and Apollos, it was Him who helped grow the seeds.

I’m a firm believer of the tare and wheat parable, if God told His angels that they wouldn’t be able to know who is a wheat or a tare then we the more obvious, would not know; one of my favorite verses is that we’ll know them by their fruits; when Matthew wrote this, he was talking about someone who is trying to appear as one of God’s people; nowadays many people don’t use the gift of discernment and jump to judge and those who jump to judge come from what their flesh feels, I love how when Jesus was talking to the Pharisees in John 8:15, He says they judge by the flesh but He doesn’t pass judgement on anyone and what I love about 8:16, He says that if He did, He knew they were true because He wasn’t alone, He was with the Father who had sent Him, why do I love this? Because God can see what’s in our hearts and Jesus says that what the Father shows Him, He’d do. The bad representation starts when you lack discernment and base off judgement in your flesh; there’s jokes that shouldn’t be made and then there’s comments that get thrown here and there that shouldn’t be said, sometimes people make us angry but that’s why we pray to the Holy Spirit for to help us grow the fruit of self-control; there is a huge difference in speaking righteously and speaking non-righteously (Eph 4:29). And here is the situation; when someone speaks non-righteously, for someone who is discerning; it doesn’t take long to grow disinterest. Whenever someone gets called out for speaking in the flesh and not as a follower of Christ; they get angry because they want to be right and they’re driven on a control that is no longer righteous authority; if someone were to message me saying “you’re speaking in the flesh” about a Bible verse, I’d need to look back on what verse and check what I studied was not based on my own understanding. A lot of people get mad when they get called out for speaking non-righteously; as I’ve preached to others, if we get mad over what the Word says, we’re the problem. We need to learn the difference between authority and control, as followers of Christ we aren’t meant to walk in control, we’re meant to walk in authority; Jesus didn’t leave control, He left authority.

I was interested in what God showed me about the difference in control and authority and He amazingly put a CEO to be one of the first people who explain this, the most amazing thing is, she’s a follower of Christ; she explains the difference between authority and control; we need to identify to have authority you need to know humility; this is speaking of authority with others just like He has allowed many to have when it comes to the public. Something that I love about what she wrote is that those who have humility in their hearts are aware that they needed humility to do things correctly and the amazing thing is, is that a lot of what is mentioned is spoken about division and how one way of leading can create problems; which reminded me of what I heard a pastor say, “every relationship in your life; romantically or regular relationships are reflections of your relationship with Jesus.”

CEO of Health Counseling Center, Beverly says, “Authentic leadership requires modeling the behavior we expect from others. We can’t walk in authority until we learn humility and respect for others. Many people attempt to exert authority without going through the gate of humility,” ... “This creates tension, division, and causes a breakdown in communication.”

In Proverbs 16:18-19 AMPC, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall — Better it is to be of a humble spirit with the meek and poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.” And I love this because in a different version only, it’s in Spanish says, in DHH, “Tras el orgullo viene el fracaso; tras la altaneria, la caida. — Mas vale humillarse con los pobres que hacerse rico con los orgullosos.” A rough translation of the Spanish word for word is, “you bring pride, there comes failure; you bring the arrogance/haughty, the fall — better to have humility with the poor than become rich with the prideful”.

Why I love this revelation is because when we have pride we’re going to fall and it’s a guarantee because it’s always going to come from the Lord, the reason I love it is because God is doing this out of protection for us to grow more to trust Him and not trust our flesh, imagine if He didn’t care to help you once you had pride, that would be very worrisome. He doesn’t want us growing pride into our hearts, especially when it comes to His Will, He permits a person who has a lot of pride to fall and it can come from friends, circles, allies, etc. Having a proud spirit and proud thoughts will only come back to you as a punishment — in Proverbs 16:19 reading different versions, it mentions that it’s better to be humble with the poor rather than to become rich like the spoiled and the reason why I love this verse is because I got the rhema, the other day, I was reading my bible and found the book of Obadiah, he was a minor prophet from the Assyrian era and in Obadiah 1:3 NLT, “You have been deceived by your own pride because you live in a rock fortress and make your home high in the mountains. ‘Who can ever reach us way up here?’ You ask boastfully.” But in CEB it says “you who say in your heart, “Who will bring me down to the ground?” The reason why I loved this is because in the topic about guarding your heart, we’re meant to guard our hearts from pride and having pride only ruins us so continuing in Obadiah 1:4 but this time in the CEV, it says, “I will still bring you down, even if you fly higher than an eagle or nest among the stars. I, the Lord, have spoken!” And in the CEB it says it like this, “Though you soar like the eagle, though your nest is set among the stars, I will bring you down from there, says the Lord.” — in this time, it was a warning from God to the Edomites about what they were doing to His people; and what I’ve realized is that people take what is of the OT as if it weren’t the same that could happen nowadays; even though the Bible was written times ago, they still manage to test the Lord that His Word He has spoken still can’t happen; our lives are reflected in the walk with Christ and the cross, thinking that God won’t speak for us even through the Word is testing that God can’t do what looks impossible to us. His warning to those that hurt His people are also found in Psalms, and anyone who thinks they won’t fall, that they can continue to hurt His people and think that they’re going to get away with it; God reminds us that He will reach anyone because we can’t escape His wrath especially when it’s about those who are against His chosen people.

The whole book is one of my new favorite because we see the Lord who is our Heavenly Father, protecting us from whoever comes against His people and the reason why I say whoever is because not everyone is part of the chosen people, this spectrum can be in and outside the church, we have this confirmation in Romans 9:8 ESV, “This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring.”.

What I loved about the book of Obadiah is that God shows us that He really is watching everything, and I know there’s so many people who doubt and we as well sometimes want to dismay ourselves who are still working on growing our faith, thinking that He doesn’t see our pain but on the contrary in Obadiah 1:13-14 AMP, He speaks to our enemies, “Do not enter the gate of My people in the day of their disaster; Yes, you, do not look [with delight] on their misery in the day of their ruin, and do not loot treasures in the day of their ruin. — Do not stand at the crossroad to cut down those [of Judah] who escaped; And do not hand over [to the enemy] those [of Judah] who survive in the day of their distress.”

What I loved about the vision that God gave to Obadiah about the Edomites is about how they were acting towards their brother Judah; the reason why I loved finding this was because you can see this as well in church hurt;

I’ve spoken to a few people on instagram who have shared their experiences concerning church hurt and how they went through a lot of very saddening experiences that I was surprised had happened and unfortunately they couldn’t get the proper help because their leaders had turned the people against them, taking away the security and joy they felt in that church, this is perfectly shown what God spoke over those who hurt His people, those who instead of helping their brother, they cause pain and delight in their day of distress. These same people who delight in those who get hurt by the church will reap what they sow and unfortunately not a lot of people take this seriously, how could I possibly know that they don’t? Because there’s no fear of the Lord when people sin against their brother/sister in Christ. These people left due to the lack of support and unity that wasn’t shown to them, instead of having to be one in one Spirit and in one Body to help them, they ran from the church. So many people tried to speak to them but they kept speaking things against God for not healing their wounds, unfortunately no one could have a sound conversation about God’s mercy to them because they were so hurt due to the church’s love towards their leader and caring about the leader rather than the one sheep that they permitted to get stray due to favoritism of leader, when a whole church is guided by the head of the church to cause division, this is extremely bad because what gets ministered at the altar is what goes into the hearts of the people. — as it says in Proverbs 15:11 GW, “If Sheol and Abaddon lie open in front of the LORD how much more the human heart!” Meaning that if God can see what’s in the depths of death and destruction, He can for sure see what’s hiding in the heart of man.

Something that the Holy Spirit showed me was through a pastor that I’ve been watching ever since I started my walk in Christ, he mentioned that the hate that someone speaks causes division and when we get ministered hate, we create division and discord between one another, causing division among others is something that shows us if we want to be tares or wheat; this is why it’s important to catch ourselves and guard our mouths when it comes to speaking against people or judge in total.

This is important because when someone is teaching the Word, depending on the vocabulary being used, it could be pro-division, this is when someone has hatred against siblings in Christ, you make division, John says in 1 John 3:14 ERV, “ We know that we have left death and have come into life. We know this because we love each other as brothers and sisters. Anyone who does not love is still in death.”, but let’s not go so far, this goes for all of us who help those learn in their walk with Christ, in Romans 2:19 ERV, “You think you are a guide for people who don’t know the right way, a light for those who are in the dark.”, continuing onward God used Paul to write Romans 2:20-21 ERV, “You think you can show foolish people what is right. And you think you are a teacher for those who are just beginning to learn. You have the law, and so you think you know everything and have all truth. — You teach others, so why don't you teach yourself? You tell them not to steal, but you yourself steal.”

The reason why I love this is because as disciples we’re in a form correcting and teaching those who are beginning to walk with Jesus, how to walk; but when we grow a love for the Word and God gives the gift of teaching that’s when we can either use it for good or not use it at all. But for everyone who does use the gift, there’s a standard that if we know the Word, and we’re giving out the Word; we’re meant to live it.

Romans 2:23-24 ERV, “You are so proud that you have God's law, but you bring shame to God by breaking his law. — As the Scriptures say, "People in other nations insult God because of you.”” — the reason I love this part of the Scripture is because to get the whole context, in the book of Titus, Paul had the revelation in 2:4-5 NIV, stating, “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God.” The specific part that I love from verse 5 are the words “so that no one will malign the Word of God.”, the whole message of the two verses is the context that whilst the teaching mentions of wives, it doesn’t exclude to the teach that we are to live the Word so that no one can in other words blaspheme the Word, when Paul says to be imitators of God, imitators as children of God; because we are to carry out the Word because we are a reflection of the works of God.

If we’re creating division and walking in Christ, what would we be? we aren’t children of God that’s for sure, in 1 John 3:10 ERV, “So we can see who God’s children are and who the devil’s children are. These are the ones who are not God’s children: those who don’t do what is right and those who do not love their brothers and sisters in God’s family.” And as mentioned before in Proverbs 11:15, about God seeing the depths of death and destruction, He sees in the depth of the hearts; Jesus knew what was in the hearts of the Jews when He said that He wouldn’t show them signs and wonders because He knew their hearts already; in Matthew 23, He mentions the hypocrisy that the pharisees showed towards those that they were trying to convert into a Jew.

If you claim to want prosperity and unity but you show division and discord, those who hear you and see how you act and speak will receive what you say and do, if you’re teaching pro-condemnation, you’re ministering condemnation.

What comes from the mouth is something that is very delicate; Proverbs 18:21 ASV, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” — What i started to notice in my walk with Christ was that people love to talk and talk but not walk the walk with Jesus, when ministering the Word from the altar and depending what you say and how you carry out the Word after the teaching to the people of God is something extremely powerful, I’ve always been hyperaware of everything; how we give the Word and how we act afterwards, shows if we truly are also learning what we’re giving out. I’ve had my own experiences when my apostle or his family members preach, I’ve grown and learned a lot about spiritual warfares and how to go about situations but the true tests are after the teachings, same with the Bible, once you close the Bible after reading a lesson God has taught you in the Bible; you’re going to be tested.

This is why we must learn the differences between control and authority, the pharisees loved having control but Jesus had authority and that’s what Jesus taught us to have. What I loved about this is that the CEO broke the two leaderships into two groups, the CEO of Health Counseling Center states the differences between authority and controlling,

Authority: Listens, helps us grow, uses our strengths, equips others, widens horizons, delegates, correction and discipline, justice (what is wrong), teaches how to make decisions, establishes boundaries, gives, listens, flows from a spirit of love

Control: Demands, stifles personal expression, takes advantage of our weaknesses, robs others of their autonomy, narrows experiences, micromanages, punishment and retribution, judgement (who is wrong), makes decisions on your behalf, trespasses across personal boundaries, takes, dictates, operates from a spirit of fear

I love how she broke this because control has a lot to do with pride, if Jesus would’ve wanted us to have control He would’ve left all under our own control. We would be self-reliant. In Philippians 2:3 in the NCV the translation says it this way, “When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves.” — so when you allow pride and selfishness to be your guide. You’re putting your flesh first, your interests first when you let what’s carnal guide you, you’re going to fall because you’re looking out for yourself and what fits your reputation, that’s why the Word says in Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.“

When the Lord speaks. What He says, will come to pass because it will happen. I have no doubt that for many this Word will come soon in His timing, could be when we’re gone or when we’re there but the Lord will carry out His Will when it comes to those who are His people that are faithful to Him.

James 1:26 GW, “If a person thinks that he is religious but can’t control his tongue, he is fooling himself. That person’s religion is worthless.”

Don’t be that person. No one should ever boast in just knowing the Word of God but can’t show the change God has done in them, that person is living in vain, in the KJV James 1:26, “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”

What I love about this is that the Lord has been revealing when people don’t guard their mouths; not overtaking-wise like children tend to do, no, but in speaking abusive words, defiling words, words of hatred, words that can hurt a person’s soul, words that condemn you, words that have the power to destroy someone’s life.

I was looking into the Words, “bridleth not his tongue” and loved what God gave me in both, the worldly definition and the biblical definition. The worldly definition of bridle is “the headgear used to control a horse, consisting of buckled straps to which a bit and reins are attached.” This is the Oxford Languages dictionary, it’s used to direct a horse, and it’s pretty funny because this entire time God was placing horse films in my view; without wanting, I learnt a lot about horses and the trusting and control and one of the things that stayed in my heart was that the horse knows where you’re looking, if your eyes are on an object and whether you feel nervous or confident, the horse can sense it. on whatever object you place your eyes on as the aim to get there, the horse will follow towards the place that your eyes are on, you control them with the reins; a horse can sense your emotions they reflect what you’re feeling and how can we see this in the mouth? You’re aiming to get to some place, your mouth will speak what will get you to a place or person, how you feel is how you speak, your words reflect what you feel and the reins control, when you take control of your mouth you walk like a wise man. now seeing it biblically, I love using the Strong dictionary to break down the Word when there’s a deeper meaning to a verse, in the Strong dictionary, bridleth is G5468; in Spanish the meaning is; ser el que dirige el freno — which means to be the one who directs the stop.

This goes well with Proverbs 13:3 NKJV, “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.”

Paul mentions something very evident that we as believers should already know, in 2 Tim 3:1-5 ERV, “Remember this: There are some terrible times coming in the last days. — People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud and boast about themselves. They will abuse others with insults. They will not obey their parents. They will be ungrateful and against all that is pleasing to God. — They will have no love for others and will refuse to forgive anyone. They will talk about others to hurt them and will have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. — People will turn against their friends. They will do foolish things without thinking and will be so proud of themselves. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure. — They will go on pretending to be devoted to God, but they will refuse to let that "devotion" change the way they live. Stay away from these people!” — and this warning isn’t so far from when Paul wrote to the church about walking with the Spirit and not walking in the flesh, as well as giving us the fruits of the Holy Spirit and reminding us to renew our minds with the Word of God.

Everything is possible with a heart that is contrite, when we truly want to change God is ready to help a willing heart. God’s Wrath is one of the most fearful fears I constantly wonder about and get sad for those who don’t have the revelation, it’s truly scary to know what end awaits those who you wish were saved.

We’re no longer living in the times where we get angry at each other over small things, where we want to get revenge by speaking and making division in the Body of Christ, we are One Spirit in Christ but whenever we cause a brother or sister to stumble, remember that that will be accounted to each and every one of us who permits it to happen.

revelation: Any careless word said in public, said in secret, any careless action done against a faithful sheep of the Lord, any condemning word and act done against them will be accounted towards those who abuse in control, those who allow and act on any sort of division to be made, will be accounted to them who are spiritually immature and lack to show the fruits of the Holy Spirit, all this will be given to us by the Lord on the last day. Being persecuted by others in Christ is a real thing that people dust off like it’s nothing but those too will give an account to the Lord, this is to those who have been in Christ the longest and still show the lack of maturity that’s needed to be face to face with the Lord.

What the Bible Says about Self Worth

Self-Image, Self Confidence, Self Love: What the Bible Says about Self Worth

An Ordinary Daisy 

From as far back as I can remember, I wanted to be extraordinary. I didn’t want to be just another person in the nameless mass of humanity. I wanted to stand out as someone who broke out of the prison that most of us are born into; the prison of such a short wisp of a life–gone almost before it starts, no remembrance of it when gone, and no lasting impression made while alive. I’m aware that many, if not most of us, face this same struggle. I don’t know if mine was more profound than most. I only know that it was a driving force of my existence from the time I was a young teenager.

When I gave my life to the Lord at age 18, this desire was automatically transferred into the kingdom of God. I was determined to not be an “ordinary Christian.” I was going to do outstanding things for God, at any personal cost or sacrifice. I would never, never be a mere pew warmer. In those years I was quite zealous for God, and on my college campus, I had a reputation (which I loved) of being “on fire for God.” I attended Christian meetings almost every night of the week, spent much time in prayer and reading the Bible, and shared the Gospel everywhere I went. My desire and love for the things of God were genuine. However, I did not see that lurking under the surface of my zeal was a deep insecurity that the enemy would try to use to destroy me.

Breaking Free from Proving My Worthiness, Insecurity, and Pride

I didn’t see that much of my so-called “fire” for God was just a fire for myself to be acceptable in my own eyes. I truly loved the Lord, but it would have shocked me if I could have seen back then (or probably even now!) how much of what I did for the Lord, was just for myself. I laughed at the Pharisees when I read how Jesus preached at them for doing what they did so men could see them and admire them. It never occurred to me that I might be in that category myself. No one likes to see the worst in themselves, and many times we are truly blinded to it. It takes the gentle work of the Holy Spirit, peeling away layers of pride, deception, sin, and insecurities for us to see ourselves as we are.

Since that time, God has led me through many things to break this deadly “religious spirit.” I don’t have time to share them all here, but I will say that the work has been sometimes painful, but always cleansing and freeing. Most of our striving is based on the simple fact that deep down inside we aren’t sure that anyone (least of all God) likes us for who we are–especially at our weakest and most horrible. Most of us can accept that He loves us because He is God, but we tend to look at it as a broad sort of “tough love”–He loves us, but is more saddened by us than anything, and tolerates us because of His goodness–but He doesn’t like us that much.

Recently, the Lord showed me in a beautiful way, how wrong we are to think this of Him. I was at a prophetic conference in Colorado with a dear friend of mine, and one of our assignments was to turn around to the person behind us (someone we did not know) and pray together, and then share what the Lord had shown us about each other. Needless to say, some were nervous that they wouldn’t “get anything” from God, but we all obeyed. The man who prayed with me began to share what he was seeing, and one of the words that he used was weed. For some reason, this sort of bothered me deep inside. A weed seemed so…ordinary, so weak and unimpressive. “Surely that wasn’t how God saw me, was it?” I exclaimed.

Later, as I shared the words that had been given to me and received, I didn’t mention Daisy at all, because I felt sort of ashamed about it.  All I mentioned about it was that the man I prayed with had called me a weed.

On the next and final day of the conference, all the attendees were assigned to go to various “prophetic teams” of people who would pray and prophesy over us before we went home. As I was being prayed over, one of the ladies in the team said, “Lord, I see here a Daisy, and that there is something so special to you about Daisy's heart.” Again, I felt a slight flare of annoyance but ignored it, so I could “move on in the spirit” to everything else they were saying. Much of what was said ministered deeply to me, but as it turned out, nothing touched me more than the reference to Daisy.

The Simply Beauty God Sees in Us

Immediately after the prayer, I was walking to meet my friend, and I heard the voice of God speak clearly to my heart. “Mercy, why do you love Daisies so much?” This surprised me. This may seem unbelievable, but right up until that very moment, I had forgotten how much I genuinely love Daisies! “Well, they just cheer me up I guess,” I said to the Lord. “I like them because of their simple beauty. They aren’t overblown or pretentious. They seem clean and pure and wholesome and real. They just make me smile. I guess I can’t explain all the reasons why I’m attracted to them–I just am.” Immediately, I began to cry, as I realized what the Lord was trying to show me.

It is often said that the hardest person to live with and love unconditionally is ourselves. Yet, I believe that just as we are attracted to things like Daises, so God made us be attracted to ourselves as well–and I am not talking about vain narcissism or arrogant pride. These are Satan’s counterfeits for this truth of God. His ways breed envy and disdain for our fellow man. God’s ways, however, release us to find joy in being just who He created us to be — a unique reflection of His image. When this work is completed in us, we can truly rejoice at the marvelous things He has done in others without feeling the slightest twinge of envy, competition, or inferiority.

Could it be that many of us would like ourselves a whole lot more if we weren’t so busy trying to impress ourselves and others, trying to create another persona that we feel more comfortable in? Could it be that if we would simply let God be Himself in us, we might like the person that emerges–that hidden, weak, scared side of us that we try to keep stuff away from prying eyes? In that area of our being (even in the most humiliating part of it) lies a precious seed planted by God. God wants to breathe on it and cause supernatural life to grow from that place that we hate the most. This is where He will bring forth the greatest beauty in us–if we will let Him. All it takes is bravery; which is another word for faith. This He gives freely and abundantly to all who call on Him in truth.

Whether we ever make the history books of this world is of very little consequence. The records that are kept by man are incomplete and biased anyway. We all remember things differently from each other, and couldn’t possibly do justice to even one life, let alone the billions of people that have lived on this planet. However, there is a Book that has recorded every one of our lives–a History Book kept by the only One who sees everything that happened and who is impartial in His records. In His Book, no one is overlooked or forgotten, regardless of the importance of their life on earth. We may weep over injustice in human history and our fears of being forgotten, but I tell you that with God there is no such thing. A Day of Reckoning is coming — and on that day, all of history will be judged by the only One who can judge it righteously and mercifully.

Anyone can do “good deeds” but they do not necessarily justify us in God’s eyes, or win His heart. The Pharisees are proof of that. What He wants from us is honesty and humility. Our own “righteous actions” can never cover the nakedness of that part of us that we are ashamed and embarrassed about. We may feel that we haven’t done anything worthwhile and that we aren’t very high up on God’s list of important things to do, and if we only become a better Christians, He will love us more — but that is a lie straight from hell. Of course, God wants all of us to mature in faith and to do the works He did–but the purpose of all of this is so that each one of us can become a friend of God. Friendship with God should be our goal, not great works to do for Him. If we are His friend, great works will follow, simply born out of a loving relationship with Him. Our work won’t make us proud of ourselves, either. They will make us proud of Him!

I know I still have a way to go, in letting God transform my old ways of thinking and acting. I realize an important key is to not become absorbed in myself–my strengths and weaknesses, but rather, to become absorbed in Him. Where does healing come from? Where is the fountain of life that washes away all that smells of death and despair? If the world knew, how they would run to it? If the Church knew, oh how we would run to it!

I have no fancy answer to finding that healing River. The Bible says that if we believe in Him, it is flowing from our innermost being. The Bible says that it is already there! The river is all that we need. It may come manifested in healing words spoken to us by a brother or sister in the Lord. It may come from many different sources, one of the greatest is to love and pray for those around us (even those we have a problem with) the way we would like to be loved and prayed for. But most of all, it will come from one place; the Secret Place of the Highest. If you have never been to a secret place with Him–or if it has been many years, ask God to take you there, just as you are. His spirit will wash you and make you beautiful in His eyes. The more of your sin that you recognize and repent of, the more room you will have for Him in your heart — and this is something that you can never be worthy of. All He wants is for you to accept it and take the time to dwell in it. This is an act of His grace and love to you–little ordinary you. Weak and unspectacular as you are, He loves you far more than you can begin to imagine. Your life has been written in God’s History Book, and if you seek Him with all your heart, the story of your life will be one of beauty, strength, and grace.

From: Steven P. Miller @ParkermillerQ, Founder of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups Thursday, May 25, 2023, Jacksonville, Florida., Duval County, USA. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Sparkermiller.JAX.FL.USA, https://www.facebook.com/StevenParkerMillerQ Instagram: steven_parker_miller_1956, Twitter: @GatekeeperWatchman1, @ParkermillerQ, https://twitter.com/StevenPMiller6 Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gatekeeperwatchman, https://www.tumblr.com/gatekeeper-watchman, https://www.pinterest.com/GatekeeperWatchman1/ #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO, #Ephraim1, #IAM, #Sparkermiller, #Eldermiller1981

nothing feels better than laying in bed after a shower after you’ve done your skin care your body care your hair & in your pajamas rubbing your feet together like a crickettttt NOTHING

i got a book i like i made a list for new reads & i’m excited i found a christian author that i just know i’ll enjoy :) i think reading is so nice because you literally escape & get lost in the literature it’s sometimes an out of body experience depending on what it is your reading maybe i’ll get into fiction some day (besides poems) i also got a workbook by somebody i like & maybe i’ll start it tomorrow if i finish what i’m reading but i take a day or 2 off & i still have like 90 pages i think maybe

so i be going on this app sometimes @ night when i can’t sleep & ive told everyone i was going to sleep & i hear discussions- why is everyone so caught up on race/nationality my goodness i never thought ppl were actually that simple minded; i usually date minority men like myself because it’s what i’m attracted to however if i found a man that wasn’t hispanic/black i wouldn’t be against it or think ima have to explain my culture to him i’ve dated opposite cultures/religions & as long as it’s respect there it is totally ok i wouldn’t think my bloodline is going to be weak or sacrificed or anything of that nature LOL plus as your connection grows so does the knowledge of your person you should know your person inside & out i don’t think ppls souls have a race but idk i could be wrong i just am grateful i am not that simple minded plus when it’s adversity is often when i bond with ppl i like to see their reactions to different topics see how they act when someone doesn’t agree that’s where i see if i could build with someone i don’t ever want to be with a arrogant man againnnnnn such wasted energy - i won’t date a man that doesn’t believe in Jesus again tho i want going to church to be a thing i be seeing the families in my church & it’s beautiful i want that for me i didn’t grow up in church besides special occasions & i want my kids to actually know God every early on & create their own connection with the Lord watching little kids pray is the cutestttttt 😭 it’s so pure they always just give thanks they may ask for like a toy or to go to a place but mostly it’s them being thankful

i still haven’t went try to start a fire

i always be telling myself what more i want to get done & what more i want to grow in certain aspects & i don’t ever give credit for how far i’ve come i started being grateful for my progress thus far & it’s made such a difference in how i treat others i’m less blunt (i still speak my mind but it’s kinder) you truly have to have patience with yourself & others always setting & achieving goals is great & you should want to be productive but don’t be so consumed with the next task you forget the one you’ve just completed plus being busy was never my goal idk how i started getting into that but i’m glad i’ve slowed down my break was very much needed & appreciated

also the world is ending idc what anyone says everyone calls me crazy or weird anyway but like i will witness it if not me my kids or their kids that’s how soon it will be just wait & see!

imagine the ppl that have been floating around waiting to go to their final destination i bet even they are more excited than me

i just pray none of my loved ones are drunk or high when the time comes. i wish ppl would just get serious about their spirituality already we too grown to be playing around still i know i had a ball already in that lifestyle it’s no need to keep doing the same stuff over & over i want more for the ppl i love & for ppl in general or at least keep it to like rare occasions or celebrations vices turned to habits that ppl don’t break are detrimental to your personal growth how haven’t ppl caught on? it doesn’t seem like rocket science different behavior will bring different results DUH

happy fridayyyyyy xoxo

ps am i champ for only having my ends blonde now? i’m going to get my roots done so if i am i won’t be much longer lolllllll

How To Control Your Tongue

The 3rd chapter of James began by saying “not many of you should become teachers.” The reason? Because of its responsibilities, start with learning how to control your tongue. We all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.  James 3:2 I’m sure you have heard the phrase; “sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” The Bible though, says this in Proverbs. The words of the reckless pierce like swords. Proverbs 12:18 As we continue in James, he made some comparisons of how much power the tongue contains. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. James 3:3-4 The horse’s bit and the ship’s rudder are proportionately tiny compared to the task they are asked to do. Look what James said about the tongue. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5 My words don’t get me into trouble like they used to. I think that comes from a combination of age and experience. But I can identify with the tiny spark of words. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. James 3:6

Curses and Blessings

The tongue can spew nasty, sinful words one moment and encouraging words the next. Sometimes it’s hard to determine what is coming out next. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.  And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.  James 3:10 James said, brothers and sisters, this is not right! Then he brought some logic into this conversation. Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring. James 3:11-12

Controlling Your Tongue

I can’t control your tongue, and neither can your pastor or anyone else for that matter. Trying to put a clamp on your tongue would do no good, either. James said we can tame other things but not the tongue. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:7-8 In reading the words that Jesus spoke, he said the tongue is only part of the problem. Your tongue is your mouthpiece, it isn’t your source. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you.” Matthew 15:19-20

You see, you are the only one who can bring any kind of control to your tongue. And if you’ve been a Christian for any amount of time you should know this; God doesn’t give us formulas for living a Christian life. You can, however, take some steps to help control your tongue. Below are 5 of them.

Steps to Help Control Your Tongue

1. Dedicate yourself to the Lord every day. Starting with your heart and mind. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. Luke 6:45 Be careful what are you filling your heart and mind with? 2. Ask the Lord to give you an awareness of your words before they come out of your mouth. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 Take responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth. 3. As Christians we have many “rights.” Complaining isn’t one of them. Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look—the Judge is standing at the door! James 5:9 Enjoy the rights you do have, don’t exercise the ones you don’t have. 4. Ask forgiveness for your unloving words If we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2. Work on changing the way you speak so you can demonstrate His love. 5. Make it a habit to speak words of encouragement, comfort, and edification. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 Lord, help us all to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Check out some other posts related to how we relate to others. - Staying Out Of The Middle Is The Best Policy - The Commandment To Love Is Nothing New - What Does The Bible Say About Judging Others? Read the full article

MAG019, Confession

Case #0113005, Edwin Burroughs Release date: May 30, 2016 First listen: 15th October, definitely walking home. I remember exactly where I was on Kingston Road at the line, ‘I’m so sorry… It wants your faith.’

Heads up, the next few are going to be written while I’m on a course of antibiotics. Nothing major, infected tooth. But historically I have not had ‘a good time’ while on antibiotics. I don’t think it’s an allergy or anything but my mental faculties just kinda, drop off a bit. I feel rough, I’m more anxious, I loose time, I do things I won’t typically do. So the next few may be a bit more meandering than usual.

Ah religion… A favoured medium of the horror genre and one that has the potential to scare the absolute living shit out of me. Disclaimer, my relationship with religion and faith is a bit ropey at best. I don’t have any major personal religious trauma, and from a personal stand point I just kinda came to a realisation how much time out of my life the Church of England had taken up without me really agreeing to it. That is how the Church has wronged me. Now, how the Church and many other different world denominations have harmed others has me wanting to burn these institutions to the ground. But that is a long and bloody manifesto that I do not yet have the skills to articulate well. Rule of thumb; Faith? Cool, groovy, whatever helps you through the day. Religion? Keep that the heck away from me.

So, I typically regard Christianity the same way I would regard a Cassowary; with academic interest, at a significant distance, ideally through reinforced glass, looking at the pretty colours, and trying to be quiet as I laugh at the things on their heads so that they don’t hear me, hunt me down and disembowel me.

- Again, bless the folks responsible for the transcripts because I always thought it was ‘Burrows’, like my house master in secondary school, and not ‘Burroughs’.

- ‘Demonic possession’. I think at this point I was thinking, ah see NOW we’re gonna have some BuzzFeed Unsolved levels of wacky hijinks. And just like with MAG001, I am quickly disillusioned of that idea.

- ‘Statement of Father Edwin Burroughs’, ok, ok a clergy man. Ok…. The what service sorry? Prison?!

- ‘…in case I get violent.’ I mean, apart from what landed him in prison, has he had any past history of violence since incarceration? Have they had him come in contact with any other prisoners to even test that theory?

- ‘At least, assuming that you’re real. I hope you’re real.’ Oh buddy… The Spiral gotcha good huh?

- ‘We’ll get to the cannibalism, of course-’ Tyre screech … WHAT!?

- ‘…the Catholic Church is not against belief in the supernatural outside of the official doctrine.’ The magnitude to which the Christian Church cannot keep its’ business clean is at once hilarious and appalling… But I am going to point and laugh and throw rocks at Heinrich Kramer and the tyre fire his life in Innsbruck, Austria was that had him trying and failing to have a local woman killed for witchcraft because she called him out on his bullshit, he stalked her for a year, got kicked out of town by the local bishop, wrote the Malleus Maleficarum and pretty much single handedly kicked off the witch hunts that spread through Europe and would hop to America. Like an absolute raging ass hole. But with fear mongering managed to effectively flip the public opinion of ‘if you do believe in witches you’re a heretic and a lunatic’ to ‘if you don’t believe in witches you’re a heretic and a lunatic’. To be fair to them, the Church saw how dangerous this was but the fear of the people will do that… Oh fuck, fear will do that… shit.

- ‘...Relatively early in my vocation as a priest that I trained as an exorcist.’ Ah so they got you young, huh buddy? Like a recruitment officer at a high school.

- OK, I do not know enough about Catholicism to be drawing any kind of ideas, but he said he was a Jesuit. Looks like Oxford University has a private halls run by Jesuits, Campion Hall, opened 1896. I don’t know much about the Jesuits but I think I’ve often heard it in the same breath as ‘missionaries’ and… yeah, nope.

- ‘In my time I have performed just over one hundred exorcisms.’ Just what the hell is going on in Oxford in the mid 2000s that meant there was call for an exorcism every fortnight?

- ‘I’m sorry, It won’t let me say the words.’ Oh… Oh yikes. With all the themes of agency and choice in later seasons and the compulsion to do or no do dictated by something other than you own will… Yikes. Also, as someone who has mumbled their way through many a church service without really thinking it, it’s leaving a nasty taste in my mouth; the idea that I’ve had no really will to say those words but they got dragged from me and Father Burroughs wanting to say them but being prevented from getting them out.

- Bullingdon Road, according to Google Maps, is less than a mile from Hill Top Road. Oxford, what the fresh hell?

- Had a quick look at Bethany’s Saint Hugh’s college, seems to offer a wide variety of courses. Didn’t know if there was something significant there, but we never learn what she was studying do we.

- ‘…could no longer trust her senses, and had found herself doing much that she did not understand.’ looks at my opening paragraph Huh… umm, question, was she on any new medication?

- Bethany going to eat the rock, I mean, pica’s a thing. Has she also gone to a doctor?

- OK, ‘mentis’ in blue paint under wallpaper is screaming The Spiral at me. But I’m surprised Father Burroughs didn’t speak to any of her housemates about her condition or tired to get them to see if they could see the word on the wall.

- ‘Facial lacerations,’ good grief. Yikes.

- This nurse Anne Willett, Annie, what is her game? This is the second statement she’s been involved in, other one being MAG008 and directly connected to this one, but she is a bit too involved with these cases. This feels like she’s crossing some medical practises and ethics lines.

- HANG ON, WAIT, THE NAMES DON’T MATCH. MAG008, we’ve got Anna Kasuma. MAG019, we’ve got Anne Willett. Both are an ‘Annie’ known to Father Burroughs… What is going on here? 2 women? 1 woman and we’ve got a name hygiene hiccup? What in the fresh hell?

- Falling face first into a full-length mirror, that feels very Spiral.

- ‘Annie was convinced that an exorcism was the only way, and so finally, I agreed to do so.’ Who is this ‘Annie’ and why is she wielding this sort of influence? Oh fuck me running, is she an agent for The Web?

- ‘…usually a response either from the demon, or at least the victim,’… Sir… What would you be doing that would illicit a response from the victim? Are you inflicting painful stimuli by any chance?

- ‘Annie just stood in the corner, watching and clearly eager to help...’ Someone get this woman away from the situation before I do it myself. Get her out of here, revoke her nursing license. Why is she here?!

- Seizures are on the list of brain haemorrhage symptoms. I don’t know how hard or easy to miss it would be if someone came in and was being treated for head injuries. I kinda want to ask my sister and brother-in-law to be, both medics, but I don’t know how many times more they will buy my ‘for writing purposes’ excuse before they expect to see something for it.

- ‘Annie almost got suspended over the matter, but in the end was spared further disciplinary action, as she had been simply passing on the wishes of the patient.’ Was she though? Was she really? The more I think about it, the further I am falling down the ‘Annie, Agent of The Web’ rabbit hole.

- ‘…priests are certainly not immune to alcoholism.’  thinks about the last vicar my village church had who was a drinker and was suspected of violence against his family sucks teeth

- ‘… from unwittingly stealing holy wine to my later crimes.’ You start small, little infringements that may go unnoticed. Build strength.

- ‘Until I got a call from Annie,’ OK whoever she is, she needs to stop this shit. Right now. ‘After a lot of pestering,’ stop it! Yeah, nah, Annie is The Web aligned, I’ve decided. Father Burroughs may have just gone on his miserable way but calling him to Hill Top Road had a purpose, that was for something.

- OK, but yeah, Hill Top Road and MAG008 occurred after Bethany.

- FUCK, HOLD UP, IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN. MAG008 says that the encounter at Hill Top Road happened November 2006 but Father Burroughs said there was ‘a couple of years’ between Bethany’s death and his memory of Hill Top Road. And he was in Oxford 2005-2009. So even if Bethany happened 2005, which the text really does not support, there’s no way the dates match up… JONNY?! WHAT FRESH HELL IS GOING ON!? IS THIS JUST HELL TOP ROAD DOING ITS’ FUCKED UP THING TO REALITY?! JONNY?!

- ‘Something in his manner was a bit off-putting,’ bit rich but sure, go off. ‘…watching me like a hawk, as though I were about to vanish at any moment.’ Well, to be fair to Ivo, he’d had a rough week of it.

- Now, the It that Father Burroughs speaks of and Bethany mentions wanting his faith, I’m not sure what that could be exactly. Could be a number of The Entities; The Desolation, wanting to destroy all the potential that Father Burroughs’ faith contained. The Spiral, seeing someone with ‘religious pride’ and assuredness in themselves and wanting to break that apart from the inside. The Web, seeing him as a chess piece that can set other pieces toppling.

- ‘I am not for you. I am marked.’ So which got to him first? I reckon probably The Spiral via Bethany, even if Annie was the one to ensure it took.

- And the whiplash of the end of the statement, half of it missing. I do wonder, if it was incomplete,  what exactly prompted the Archivist to start recording before the other half was found?

- ‘…he apparently murdered two first year university students following Sunday Mass, and then peeled off and ate most of their skin.’…. SCREAMING

10/22/2022 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 39:1-41:18, 2 Timothy 1:1-18, Psalm 90:1-91:16, Proverbs 26:1-2

Today is the 22nd day of October, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian and it's always wonderful to be here with you. So, it's wonderful now for us to have a place together around the Global Campfire and take the next step forward. Our next step forward, leads us back into the book of Jeremiah in the Old Testament, and then we get to the New Testament, we will move forward in the pastoral epistles. We concluded first Timothy yesterday. And so, we will begin second Timothy today and we'll talk about second Timothy when we get there. But first Jeremiah chapters 39, 40 and 41 today.

Introduction into the Book of Second Timothy:

Okay, so now we have come to the book, or the letter known as second Timothy, having completed first Timothy yesterday. And second Timothy, notwithstanding the scholarly controversies that have been going on a long time about the pastoral epistles and who wrote them, this letter is written as if it were written by Paul to his son in the faith Timothy, and it appears this is the last thing he ever wrote. He knows now, Paul is back in prison, he’s not being treated well, he knows he’s about to die, very likely, short of a miracle. And we can read that gravity, as we read the letter. So, just remembering, Timothy is a son in the faith to the apostle Paul. Timothy at this time, was the pastor of the church in Ephesus. Paul looked at Timothy as a son, a son in the faith. Now Paul had been under arrest previously, he appealed to Caesar, but it appears he was able to have freedom and was released from custody and traveled once more. And probably, during that last bit of travel, is when the pastoral epistles of first Timothy, second Timothy and Titus were written. But then, Paul was arrested again, with the new Emperor. He was incarcerated under Emperor Nero. And Emperor Nero is historically a pretty bad guy, at least if you’re looking at from a Christian perspective. He was savage to the Christians and inventing just terrible ways to torture people. Like we've heard of Roman candles, but this is like to dip somebody in a flammable material, and kind of impale them on up a pole and then set them on fire and make them a human candlelight. Like, lighting roadways, that kind of craziness, that kind of like, who sits down and thinks this awful stuff up, sort of thing. This is when Nero was notorious for during his reign and there's plenty more, you can search for Nero and find out all about it is if that's what you want to do. But Paul is incarcerated again, and he is not likely to get a favorable judgment. So, just knowing that and ironically in Rome, there is sort of like the Imperial dungeon, and the dungeon that it is thought that Paul had spent some time in actually, that Peter spent some time in as well. But that Paul, like this is what we’re talking about, this is where Paul was, and I have stood in that dungeon and there's not a lot of room. I've imagined dungeons in my mind, reading the Bible since I was a kid. This was all of that, dark dank, small, zero conveniences you know, no HVAC, no furnace. So, however, it is outside, it’s how it’s going to be in the dungeon, if not worse. Paul talks about that in second Timothy, he wants his coat, he wants his parchments, like there's so much personal stuff in this letter, that is so bittersweet, to begin to understand what we’re waiting here is thought to be the last letter of Paul. Understanding all that we've learned about Paul and all that we've gone through with Paul. So, to reach the end, to sort of realize Paul sure would love to see his son again, his son in the faith, he’d sure love to see Timothy again, if it's possible in any sort of way. If Timothy can get there, if a miracle happens, if he could see him again, that would be really, really wonderful. But for Paul to be sitting in the dungeon, writing a letter that may very well be the last things he gets to say to Timothy, because the timing may not work out and they may never see each other again. That gives us a perspective from which to read this letter. And it wasn’t right, Christians were basically become scapegoats, they were marginalized, and Nero was a lot of, had a lot to do with that marginalizing the Christians and blaming them for things and stereotyping them in such a way that it was looked like they were anti-Roman, they were against the Empire and so persecution had broken out. And Paul is probably not getting out of jail and as we know he doesn't. And for Paul to be incarcerated, awaiting trial, awaiting likely execution, meant not only that Paul was gonna die, but it also meant that he was gonna have to leave the churches that he planted and the people that he loved. And persecution was truly breaking out, so he would be gone, and they would have to face the persecutions that were descending upon Christian people. So, he tells Timothy to be awake, to be vigilant, to stay true to his faith, to stay true no matter what happens. But this is also the letter where Paul, reflecting upon his own life, says something very famous, that he had fought the good fight of faith and finished the race. And so, with that, we begin; second Timothy chapter 1.

Prayer:

Thank You Father for Your word. Thank You for bringing us safely and successfully through another week to spend together around the Global Campfire. Thank You for bringing us into this territory of second Timothy, may we consider it with deep gravity and allow it to encourage and instruct us. Come, Holy Spirit, and lead us into all truth. We ask this expectantly, knowing that You will, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com that is home base, home of the Global Campfire. It's where you find out what's going on around here, unless you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, and that will also tell you what's going on around here, in the palm of your hand. So, check that out. I have been mentioning this week and told the whole story earlier this week, about a brand-new resource that is coming in just a little over a week on the first day of November. A brand-new resource called Sleep, A Contemplative Journey, will release. And this is part two, that began with Heart, A Contemplative Journey and now Sleep, A Contemplative Journey. And this is the first project I've been able to mix using spatial audio or Dolby Atmos and I really wanted to do that. Like I was planning to do that as a plan for this project out, because I really felt like creating a very large, wide, spacious, a warm atmosphere for our rest, which would be appropriate, and it is really beautiful. It is a very lovely space to be in and so that has been very enjoyable although there are a bunch of technical hoops to jump through to kind of sort that out. It is what it needs to be. So, this will be coming on 1 November, but it is available for preorder now, just go to whatever, wherever it is that you get your music and search for Sleep, A Contemplative Journey, or search for my name or whatever, and you should be able to find it and preorder it. And I am very much looking forward to hearing your sleep stories. So, go check that out wherever you get your music.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible. Thank you, humbly, we would not, we would not be here if we were not in this together and so thank you, profoundly for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, that is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

I am Grateful Gracie from Montana. I'm so pleased to be a member of the DAB family. I don't call in much, I do listen to the prayers and requests and I just, I don't know what to say except thank you all for your blessings very much. I'm an old lady and I can’t get my words straight. But God bless you all and my joy is in heaven. Hope to see you there, love you.

Hi, I’ve lived most of my life in addiction. And for about 20 years, I thought that if I would work at a church, that that might help me to overcome my addiction. So, I spent a little over 20 years as a lay minister or a teacher in the churches. And but all that did was lead to me living a dual life. And that dual life became unmanageable about 5 years ago. So, I left the church. The consequences of my addiction and poor choices, led to my arrest and subsequent conviction. While I was in jail, Papa came and sat with me and reframed everything I thought I knew about Him and our faith. Instead of prison, I was gratefully given 10 years of probation and I’ll be 69 years old when I’m finished. As a part of recovery, I wanted to listen to the Bible every day and I found the DAB. The terms of probation make it very difficult for me to go to church or to attend a church. So, my community became a 12 step programs. But when I began to listen to the prayers of the DAB, I found my home church. And I pray for each and every one of you. My spirit is full, and I am well, I’m good. And I have the rush of God that I’ve ever had in my entire life. The one thing that’s been missing for me is a full night's sleep and I have been praying for the answer. And when I heard Brian’s announcement today, I knew that Papa was answering my prayers. So, thanks to each of you for being a part of my life. And thank you Brian for these resources that you share with us. I am grateful in Tennessee.

Good morning DAB family. This is God’s Little Mud Petal from Maryland. I’m calling for my nephew Jacob. He’s been struggling, trying to sleep and been having really bad dreams. So, as Brian was talking about struggling with sleep, I thought to bring Jacob before you guys and ask that you would just pray for him, that he would have dreams of growing to meet Jesus as Lord and Savior. And he will find rest in the loving arms of Christ. I thank you for your prayers for him. I thank you that you are willing to take the time to lift him up. Thank you.

Hello DAB family it’s your girl Val here in Vegas. I love you, I love you, I love you. Hey, please keep up the prayers, it’s working. Oh, God, I’m expecting a great testimony about my healing ya’ll, my range of motion is increasing, the physical therapy is working, praise God. And speaking of prayer, let’s go after it. That’s what we do here. And family, let’s not just be a family that prays together, and I don’t mean to say “just”, we need to be a family that prays together. Let’s be a family that gives together. Giving to this ministry, our talents, our tithe and our resources. And we thank You Father. God, right now, we want to pray for Mr. Brian Hardin, Lord. Thank You for the vision that You’ve given him, Lord. And thank You that You give him the strength to execute, Lord, thank You, thank You, thank You. As I thank about our word Rooted, Lord, and how rooted in the Word, I have been this year, Lord. And I have to say thank you to this ministry, Father. God, protect him. Lord, continue to give him the style and grace to read the word to us every single day, Lord. Build him up Lord. Whatever he may feel that he’s lacking, God, let his cup overflow, Heavenly Father. God, bless, not only him and the ministry but, Lord, his family. Anyone attached to Brian wins Lord. Thank You Heavenly Father, thank You Lord Jesus. God, thank You for the ability to tithe to this ministry, God, it means so much to me. Lord, provide everything that they need, Lord, in abundance, Heavenly Father. God, I’m sure that if you bless him, they’ll be a blessing to someone else, Lord. So, let it flow Father, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow. I love you all and I’ll see you next month. Stay rooted. Stay strong. We’re just so close to the end. We can do it. In Jesus name, I know we can do it family. I love you all so much. I’ll see you next month.