#i unfortunately have no complete entries after this one so this is where we part
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Dadbastianweek 2023 - Day four: Different Kids
Sebastian sighed, finally alone in his own room in the servant quarters, feeling more rested than he ever had in the past couple of years, and yet also somewhat more annoyed.
It was quite the troublesome situation the one he found himself in - having his own Young Master stuck in bed, paralysed by fear in a way that even the demon, who was with him more often than anyone else during the day, never got to see, and ending up serving a different kid- but if he wasn't able to adapt to this type of situation, what kind of butler would he be?
It was an all around different experience - as one should expect. While his former master was cold and prideful, even at a young age, the other one was kind and wild.
Where the head of the Phantomhive household would have given him an annoyed grimace or -at most- a roll of his one visible eye for any of his inhumanly perfect acts of showmanship, the young witch praised even his less impressive tricks, and lit up like a child on Christmas.
The demon couldn't say this was unwelcomed, as he was proud of his own skills, and the usual lack of response from the one he was supposed to serve was quite annoying, if amusing, however, he still had his share of problems, even with the gentler master of the two.
While, for all the problems he'd always given him, even as a ten years old his usual Young Master had at least the good sense of being polite during his meals (thanks to a mix of being brought up as a noble who's expected to have decent manners, being too prideful to act like a starving beast, and generally being too low-energy to bother) the green witch was quite...unlady-like. And while he could at least prod her a bit, he wasn't allowed to be as strict as he would have liked. First off, because she was a Lady, and while demons didn't quite care about being rude to a different gender as humans were (or cared about their own gender in general), his persona as 'Sebastian, the perfect butler' cared quite a bit.
Second of all, he simply couldn't.
While his former charge knew of his demonic nature and either didn't care about being roughed up by him during their past lessons or couldn't do much of anything about it, the whole village would have been even more against them if he made the Young Lady cry, and they would have lost their only ally there. The Phantomhive Earl would have also been extremely upset at it because -for someone who said he didn't care about anyone- he really cared about innocent people's well being, especially of those who aided him or showed him honest affection. Although, the demon mused, he would have taken an angry Master over the current spineless and pathetic one he currently had any day.
The lack of teasing had also been...boring. Worsening the Phantomhive's household head's already constantly sour mood had become a favorite hobby of his, and although usually childish or annoying, some of his Young Master's biting remarks were quite entertaining.
However, for already explained reasons, that bit was out of the table when it came to the Green Witch.
He had almost hoped in stirring some drama when his newly appointed charge had questioned his former Lord's past, wich -Thanks to the condition set by the young Phantomhive himself, wich made it so he couldn't lie- would have given him the perfect excuse to spill everything about their contract to a moral human being.
The result could have been extremely entertaining.
Mayhaps the lady would have tried to defend the slightly older kid, and the demon would have had to kill her, wich would have alerted the villagers and brought them to their death as well. Maybe the chaos would have made his Young Master angry enough to snap out of the pitiful state he was in, or if not, the demon could have at least let out some steam. He was getting restless...Honestly, he hadn't been so bored in years.
But no. The Young Lady had shown some courtesy that his lord would have certainly appreciated, but him, at that moment? Not so much.
It was somewhat amusing, at least, to see the lady's former butler squirm when the little girl thoughtlessly said things like "You're so much better than Wolfram at this!" or "You should be more like him, Wolfram". They were said without trace of real malice - but the man was clearly bothered to be seemingly thrown away by the child he saw as his own family.
He found from past contracts that human jealousy could be the foundation for the most entertaining tragedies, but his own household never gave space to such emotions. His young master did show preference in his servants, but only in the way that Sebastian was the one he disliked the most, and treated accordingly. And even if the demon appeared to be the best butler in all of England, Tanaka was too respectable of a man to feel jealousy for a fellow co-worker, or even act on it, and the rest of the servants were just too naive to feel any sort of anger or sadness because of Sebastian's skills in the first place.
(With a start, he realized he somewhat preferred his original experience with the Phantomhives, but quickly shook his head. It was probably because he found it easier to work with people who didn't throw a tantrum over him simply trying to do his job.)
The amount of annoyance displayed by the German man couldn't be enough to get his mind off the situation at hand, though.
Bard, usually way too enthusiastic when it came to cooking, passed the whole time zoning out. Mey Rin had been caught crying by the demon more than once, though she tried her best to keep it hidden. Tanaka was even quieter than normal, and Snake's usually serious expression looked even more grim.
Finny was with the young master most of the day, but when he came back, his expressions was uncharacteristically grim with worry.
They all looked like they were mourning someone - wich was not only ridiculous (the child was only throwing a temper tantrum after all) but also...not as entertaining as he thought it would be.
He'd always been bothered by those idiots' chaotic streak, but as they wandered around, looking like ghosts...Sebastian didn't like it. It felt ever worse to think about what they'd look like when the child would actually be dead.
When they were most annoying, the butler liked to think about seeing them one last time when they discovered their former Master's corpse, face full of mourning. Even entertained the thought of giving away his identity, just to make spice it all up that much more, before officially disappearing from their lives.
This should have been a nice taste of that, so why was he feeling so...weird, all of a sudden?
How annoying.
Shaking his head, the demon set up to continue his research.
That child had better recover soon.
#no lie i extended this like yesterday and the day before#it should have ended with Sebastian thinking about destroying the village and Sieglinde#but i wasnt convinced ever since i wrote it and a couple days ago i was like “yeah no i gotta fix this”#so it became phantomfam agenda once again lmao#i unfortunately have no complete entries after this one so this is where we part#dadbastianweek#dadbastiandifferentkids
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About my fake staff ask
How I made it:
Currently, the tumblr API just... lets you make a post in which you "reply" to an "ask" from an arbitrary user, containing arbitrary content.
In tumblr's Neue Post Format (NPF), responses to asks look similar to other posts. The only difference is that they have a special entry in their "layout," specifying which part of the post is the ask, and who it is from.
Right now, if you try to create an NPF post with this kind of layout entry in it, it just works! You can use this to make an "ask" from anyone, containing anything, and answer it.
This is a huge bug and presumably will get fixed sometime soon?
How I discovered the bug:
Weirdly enough, I find out about it while trying to improve @nostalgebraist-autoresponder's alt text features this past week.
As you may have noticed, Frank now writes alt text differently, with more clarity about which pieces are AI-generated and what role they play.
While making this change, I found myself newly frustrated with my inability to use line breaks in alt text. The API used to let me do it, but then it stopped, hence all the "[newline]" stuff in older alt texts.
After poking around, I found that you can use line breaks in alt text on tumblr, and you can do this through the API, but only if you create posts in NPF.
Frank creates posts in legacy, not NPF. This has been true forever, and it works fine so I've had no reason to change it.
Fully rewriting Frank's post creation code to use NPF would take a lot of work.
Right now, Frank's language model generates text very close to a limited subset of HTML, which I can send to tumblr as "legacy" post content basically as-is. To create posts in NPF, I'd have to figure out the right way to convert that limited HTML into NPF's domain-specific block language.
I wasn't going to do that just to support this one nicety of alt text formatting.
"But wait...", I thought.
"Frank is already making these posts, with the alt text, in legacy format. And once they exist on tumblr, it's easy to determine how to represent them in NPF. I just fetch the existing post, in NPF format."
So all I need to do is
Have Frank make the post, as a draft, with the alt text containing "[newline]" or something in place of the line breaks I really want.
Fetch this draft, in NPF.
Create a new NPF post, with the same contents that we just fetched, in whichever state we wanted for the original post (draft, published, or queued).
Delete the draft we made in step 1.
This was convoluted, but it worked! I patted myself on the back for a clever workaround, and went on to do other stuff for a while...
...and then it hit me.
In the case where the post was a response to an ask, Frank was doing the following:
Responding to the ask.
Fetching the response in NPF.
Creating a completely new post, identical to the response -- including the contents of the original ask.
Deleting the original ask.
Meaning, you can just make asks ab nihilo, apparently.
So after a few more tests, I went and made the @staff ask, as one does.
Unfortunately, once the bug gets fixed, Frank's newlines-in-alt-text solution won't work for asks anymore... oh well, it wasn't a big deal anyway.
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Driver’s Seat
Pairing: Dominique Luca x fem!reader
Summary: At a classic car show, you meet the only gentleman in attendance and bond over a mutual love for cars.
Warnings: fluff! 1.2k+ words
A/N: This is completely self-indulgent (it’s about me and my car) but I figured I could share it anyway. Happy daydreaming about Luca!😊
“Nice car.”
You bristle, prepared for some variant of nicer driver or bet you look good in it.
“What year? ‘76 or ‘77?”
At the continued discussion of the car, you turn. You’ve seen Dom Luca around car shows before, but haven’t had the chance or a reason to talk to him yet. His kind smile helps you relax and you offer a smile in return. Being a woman at a car show is like travelling back in time to when the cars were new; you’re treated differently here than anywhere else.
“1977,” you answer. “Good eye. You’re Dom Luca, right? You brought a gorgeous 1956 Buick Special a few months ago.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s me. Friends just call me Luca. I’m stuck with a ‘68 Charger this month. But your car is a beauty.”
“Thanks! I still have a ton of work to do before she’s finished, but I’m proud of everything I’ve managed to do.”
“You should be. Sorry, I didn’t ask your name.”
You smile as you extend your hand and say your name. Luca’s handshake is firm, and you appreciate the respect he shows you. It’s refreshing, and you’re glad your mental image of him from past shows holds up. He’s a gentlemen in a world where there aren’t many left.
“Any chance you have before pictures? I haven’t gotten my hands on a Nova yet but I know good work when I see it. Do it all yourself?”
You pull your phone from your pocket and navigate to your photo albums as you nod. “I did as much as I could. Had a lot of amazing people to help too.”
As you turn your phone to scroll through the before pictures, Luca moves to stand closer. His shoulder presses against yours, and you freeze momentarily before swiping to the next picture.
“Is that you?” Luca asks excitedly.
The picture of you smiling in the driver’s seat after the first test drive is one of your favorites. It was such a special moment, and having it immortalized in a photo is priceless. Luca’s attention, however, makes you a bit shy and you nod before swiping away quickly.
“There’s no shame in being excited. First drives are a special kind of rush,” he assures. “It’s a good picture, too.”
“Thank you,” you whisper.
“Everything original?”
You appreciate the change of subject, happier to focus on the car rather than its owner.
“Yeah, it is. Straight 6, automatic transmission, even the color is the same.”
“Now that takes real talent. Anyone can cover a classic in aftermarket parts, but original? That’s impressive.”
As you turn to face Luca, you realize how close he’s standing. Face-to-face, eye-to-eye, lip-to-lip… you know you should step back but you don’t want to. Luca smiles like he feels the same before his eyes drop to your phone.
“Care for another picture?” he asks. “It’s your first entry into a car show right?”
Someone whistles behind you and shatters the moment. Luca looks over your shoulder as he steps back. You can tell he wants to say something, but you shake your head. It’s always like this, you communicate with a shrug.
“Can I see the Charger you’re stuck with? Though I’d love to get my hands on a ‘69, so I don’t see it as the unfortunate situation you do,” you say with a smile.
Luca’s shoulders drop as he relaxes and steps to the side. He leads you down the row and around a booth at the end. The black Charger is beautiful, and your eyes widen as you walk the length of it.
“Luca,” you murmur. “It’s perfect.”
Luca presses his lips together to hide his smile. He said his friends call him Luca, and it sounds right coming from your lips. After thanking you, Luca pops the trunk open and points to a nearly invisible metallic L welded to the side.
“For Luca?” you ask, once again standing directly at Luca’s side.
“My brother and I work on these cars together. We, uh, didn’t talk for a while, so now that we’re close again, we like putting something in every car.”
“That’s amazing. I- do you have one more minute to spare?”
“If you compliment the car again, maybe I’ll give you two.”
“The body work on this is impeccable. Better than original. Like always,” you compliment.
“Lead the way.”
You unlock the passenger door and open the glovebox of your car. A laminated piece of paper and a photo are in your hands, and you pass them to Luca.
“1987,” he reads. “You have an old title registration for this car? Do you know how rare that is? Was it in the car?”
“Look at the picture,” you answer.
“I take it back. The first drive photo isn’t your best.”
You chuckle at the idea that the photo he’s holding is your best. In it, you’re less than 10 years old, sitting in the driver’s seat like you belong, and it’s proof that you’ve loved this car for nearly your entire life.
“Took me a while to get started on it, but it was worth the wait,” you muse. “Most good things are.”
“So, when you came to shows before, were you looking for inspiration or people to hire?” Luca asks as he passes the papers back.
With the memories of your family’s history with the car secure in the glovebox, you return your attention to Luca.
“You’re different than I thought you’d be,” you say. His face drops, and you add, “I knew you’d be a gentleman, but I didn’t think you’d let me talk to your ear off about my car. And yours.”
“You’d be surprised how long I’d listen to you.”
You playfully roll your eyes before someone yells Luca’s name.
“What are you planning to do next?” Luca asks, pointing to your car.
“Dom!” the man repeats, louder.
“Do you need to go?” you ask.
“My brother,” Luca says. “He can wait. Tell me what’s next. Finish this one and call it good, or are you going to be around with more cars?”
“I’d love to restore another car. Actually, a truck. An old boxy one that needs the love, or a Harvester.”
“1950s Harvester is my dream project,” Luca agrees.
“Finding one that isn’t in a scrap heap seems…”
“Impossible,” you and Luca say together.
“If you ever get your hands on one, send me lots of pictures?” you request as Luca’s brother approaches.
“What if I ask for your help instead?” Luca suggests.
“Why me?”
Luca smiles like he knows something you don’t. He introduces you to his brother, Terry, and shakes your hand again before leaving to talk to a salesman. A paper is transferred to your palm during the shake, and when he’s gone, you look at it. Luca’s phone number accompanies a short message, and your smile grows until your cheeks hurt.
Talk my ear off before the next show? I’d love to learn more about the girl in the car.
When he had time to write this, you don’t know. But you do know your answer. You text Luca that you’d love that, and he turns to wink at you before asking the men around him if anyone knows of a Harvester still on the market.
#dominique luca x reader#hanna writes✯#dominique luca#luca x reader#swat x reader#swat cbs#fem!reader
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All day
Title: All day.
Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.
Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader.
Rating: Mature.
Word count: 330 words.
Warnings: Smut, PWP.
Summary: Steve and you have a free day, so you have sex all day.
A/N: This is my entry to @multifandom-lover, Annie-1018 & square 5:
"I can do this all day"
You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.
@saiyanprincessswanie
My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.
I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.
Add yourself to my taglist here.
My other media where I publish: Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter.
If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.
Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit
When your mobile phone rang, waking you up, you mentally hoped it wasn't a mission. After a long time, you had finally been able to take a break from the hectic pace of life you were leading at S.H.I.E.L.D.
Fortunately, it was an unimportant message, so you left your mobile phone; you didn't have to go to the Triskelion, so if you woke Steve up at that moment... you picked up your mobile phone again to check the time; it was four in the morning, so if you woke him up at that moment, you could have some fun before breakfast.
You got on top of Steve and started kissing his hair, then you started going down his neck without stopping kissing him. You knew how much he liked you waking him up that way, and it was also very useful for what you wanted.
"It's not fair," Steve mumbled, turning around and putting you under him. "You're playing dirty, Y/N," he complained.
"Are you sure?" you questioned as you ran your hand down his hip to where you knew you would have complete control. When you came, he let out a growl. "I know what you like, and we seem to have time to enjoy each other."
He took your hand and began to run his tongue slowly down your neck, paying attention to all the parts he knew gave you the most pleasure.
You lost track of time as soon as you started, just as you had already lost track of the number of orgasms you had had; however, your stomach began to protest, and you needed to eat something before continuing.
"I can do this all day."
"I know, but I need to eat something to recover my energy; I don't have the serum like you," you answered.
Steve took your hand and kissed it. "Okay, but we'll continue with this later," he said as he lightly and playfully ran his hand up and down your thigh.
#multifandom-lover#steve rogers x reader#Steve Rogers#steve rogers fanfic#steve rogers fic#steve rogers smut
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I was going to make a Big Official Review Post about Rayman in the Phantom Show but I don't really have enough complete thoughts to make something comprehensive and organized, but I still want to share some points from my experience with it so uhhh without further ado, here's a bunch of thoughts on what dazzled me and what I thought could have been done better.
Here I go...
I'll start with the stuff that bugged me first because I don't like to end on a bad note:
I think the biggest issue is that giving the player the option to complete each set in any order diminishes the opportunity to have a linear story. Without a series of events building up to the finale, the actual climax doesn't feel as grand or substantial as it should be (it definitely feels like a few lines were cut from the moments before Phantom's first verse with how abruptly it starts). It would have felt more immersive to see actual scenes of the heroes trying to play their roles and have more varied quests based on puzzles or even characters and dialogue (like the search for Sweetlopek's stolen axe), all whilst gradually putting the pieces together that they were led into a trap.
Speaking of putting the pieces together, it would've paid off to have Beep-0 learn from his own arrogance in the past instead of repeating his assertion that he knew what Phantom was up to all along. That part made me kind of sad because I really like Beep-0 and it seemed like they were setting him up to eventually become less uptight and more open to admitting his mistakes, which would be more satisfying and obvious!
As we all know, Beep-0 isn't the only one who repeated himself. I remember an exchange I had with @randomrabbidramblings about our predictions for what would happen in the climax; they were hoping the final showdown with Phantom would not be redundant with his first encounter, having the same battle gimmick as before. Unfortunately that is, in fact, what they ended up doing. While framing it as Phantom being unoriginal or making a callback helps it a little bit, ultimately it made me feel let down (although I love Beep-0's delivery when he reiterates his line from Kingdom Battle. he means business).
As for the aftermath of the battle, I want to know where Phantom went. There doesn't seem to be any sign of him anywhere in the studio. It's really odd, given how this was supposed to be his grand comeback (alongside Rayman, of course), but we don't get even a simple explanation of what happened to him after he was defeated for the second time, unless I missed something. I presume this is his last major appearance in a game (unless they decide to do something completely different with him in the distant future??? wishful thinking but not ruling it out!), so it's a strangely underwhelming and mysterious send-off to our beloved ghostly diva. I would have been bummed that we didn't get lore paintings for him, but the memory entry summarizing his surprisingly short-lived career actually made me laugh and honestly, the thought of him only releasing one album and becoming so well-known just because he's notoriously a huge jerk and a producer of incredibly terrible films is so in-character for him.
Another choice I found unusual was the lack of any explanation as to how he got his voice back, since it's been established that he screwed it up by overdoing it. Although, they must have dismissed it knowing that not everyone is going to find the mural containing the only source of that detail. His voice could have healed over time anyway, but it just doesn't entirely make sense that they don't acknowledge it at all (I did see @bramble-scramble 's post mentioning a detail @randomrabbidramblings pointed out where a gramophone can be seen in a box in the studio's control room and it is supposedly the one Phantom replaced with a new one when he messed it up, but even if that's true, it's still a bit easy to miss).
I understand that a lot of these issues were due to restraints since it's only a DLC and they could only fit so much in, but that goes to show that this concept is a little too big for a DLC, but not quite big enough for a full game.
Now, for the things I loved...
I must give massive props to the artists and animators for taking reference from multiple Rayman games and essentially making the pinnacle of his goofiness. Rayman was HIGHLY entertaining to see (and listen to, thanks to David Gasman) and very lovable in this! And the way his dynamic with Rabbid Peach and Rabbid Mario changes up until the end where he becomes friends with them and realizes that he can work with the Rabbids now instead of against them it's just 🥺 awgh... It feels cheesy to talk about it but it really does make me happy now that Rayman has a chance to be an equal to the Rabbids and have something resembling a mutual understanding.
I appreciate them bringing back characters from the main game and giving them their own sets. Fittingly enough, it's like a curtain call for the final installment of SoH.
The return of Beep-0's swearing. SERIOUSLY IT'S SUCH A SMALL THING BUT IT DELIGHTED ME
The studio's lobby is gorgeous. Absolutely STUNNING I love all the details and the music notation motifs on everything.
Honestly the rest of this is just going to be me gushing about Phantom hehehe...
First of all, I was completely awestruck at the decision to give him a swing/jazz sequence because I love the aesthetic of the whole sassy big band musical number kind of thing so when I saw that Phantom was going to do that I went INSANE. The animation in the song sequences is absolutely top tier. Phantom is ALL OVER THE PLACE, very charming, very energetic. The swing bit made me realize just how unbelievably coordinated he is. Like when he's zipping and spinning around the stage and it doesn't affect his singing at all? Holy crap. Then, I went even MORE insane when rock/metal Phantom showed up. I would have wanted a verse in that style too, but I get that it was cut because it would mess up the pacing of the battle.
I love Phantom's inability to contain his excitement at the start of the battle, his annoyed lines when you destroy the lights, his smug remarks even when he's taking damage. He's just so- I'm just gonna say it- so freaking cute in this! His line deliveries in general made me fall so hard for him, especially "were you EVER a thing, Rayman?". The way he drops his voice sounds so cool...
Regarding his abilities, I thought they were going to explain why he could turn people to stone in Kingdom Battle, but they simply took that detail away. I don't have a big problem with this, as the Stone Deaf ability could have been part of the Megabug's influence (and it makes him at least a bit less OP lol). I'm also satisfied to finally know that he can indeed phase through things like any other ghost and isn't limited to just teleporting.
His death acting has definitely improved since last time, in that it's silly and makes me smile instead of just making me feel embarrassed lol.
So uummmm yeah that's all the noteworthy stuff I can think of! Overall I thought the DLC was delightful during my playthrough, but after I finished it I felt kind of sad because it just didn't feel "thorough". However, given that Sparks of Hope generally improved on so many aspects from the last game, I'm confident that they'll keep adding and experimenting with more characterizations and scenarios and make something even better if they decide to continue with Mario + Rabbids. And even if they don't, we'll always have the amazing fans to continue the story and put even more wonder into this wild crossed-over universe!
Anyway, thank you for reading through this highly disorganized rant/gush! And while I'm at it, thank you to everybody in the Mario + Rabbids community for making such amazing art and just being here to share our love for the series. That means thank you to @randomrabbidramblings @bramble-scramble @salamifuposey @hostess-of-horror @phandrow @pastelprince18 @critterzone13 @hostdoozy @majorpepperidge and more! You guys are super cool and I appreciate you even though I've never directly interacted with all of you, hehe. I suppose all I have left to say is goodnight, so goodnight/day everyone! Until next time I decide to dump more nonsense onto your dashboard :D
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Part of a collaboration with @flawlessstriker
Here it is!
@teamminatoweek
Content
Minato leaned on the second-floor railing that overlooked the living room of his small cabin home and sighed.
“Someone’s looking content,” cooed the warm and familiar voice of Sakumo Hatake, his third love. He joined Minato at the railing to see just what had made him so happy. Below, Minato’s son, Naruto, was laughing away. He was being tickled on the lower bunk of his bed by a larger boy from the Uchiha clan, Obito. The couple had adopted Obito into the family after a long series of unfortunate events. The boy was troubled, but with some help from his son, Kakashi, Sakumo had come to see the good in Obito.
“Content? Haha I guess so,” Minato agreed, remembering that it hadn’t been easy for him to reach this peaceful moment either. He had lost his first love, Kushina, during Naruto’s birth. This was something Sakumo understood all too well and although Kakashi hadn’t a Tailed Beast sealed within him, he was spending some time in prison with his own demons to attend to.
Minato tried to start anew after leaving Naruto under the care of the Senju, though perhaps it was too fast; it was a bad habit of his to rush into things after all. His second attempt at love came and went, but when he stumbled across Sakumo, it felt like life could finally start slowing down for him. He rekindled with Naruto who was much older now–thirteen years older in fact and by some cosmic coincidence, he had inherited the kind, forgiving nature of his mother. Minato swore to protect him and Sakumo promised to be by their side.
Now, Minato spent his days with his little found family in their cabin, farming or finding ways to make work just a little easier for the older man who had made the house a home. He had never really stopped to think about it, but Sakumo was right. He was content.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Two more entries under the cut vvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Unexpected Visitors
It was a beautiful spring day in The Hatake Territory. The birds were singing and the air was crisp after a few showers earlier in the week. Minato took the pleasant weather as a sign that he and his son should spend some quality time outside together. The two were working on the completion of a jutsu that Naruto had picked up from a “frog” somewhere during his travels. As ridiculous as this sounded, Minato never questioned Naruto for he had also met “The Frog”.
The two were just beginning to make progress when Minato felt every hair on his body stand on end. There was an oppressive chakra approaching. It rivaled Naruto’s and that of the beast inside of him as well. “Obito,” Minato called over to the young man resting at the base of a tree who had been watching them train. “Take Naruto to Sakumo.”
“What? Aw c’mon! We were just gettin’ somewhere!” Naruto protested.
“It’s just a quick break Naruto. Besides, Sakumo should have lemonade,” Minato bribed the boys.
Obito stood up quickly. Sakumo’s lemonade was almost always a bit too sweet and Obito had a sweet tooth. The bribe worked on him. “Well, Naruto, you heard Pops. Gramps made lemonade. It’s break time,” his raspy voice ceded and he dragged Naruto inside–kicking and screaming.
Minato turned toward the source of the disturbance and clutched tightly to one of his custom three-pronged kunai. There was a rustle and then, he was gone. Only the kunai remained.
In an instant, Minato transported himself to another kunai near the source of the rustle. He had his kunai scattered all over the territory just for this purpose. From his new vantage point, he saw one of the intruders, Tobirama Senju.
By now, he knew what the intruder was looking for. It had been a few years since Naruto had escaped Senju containment. He had been on the run ever since. Since they had settled down, it was a simple task to find him. Minato wouldn't allow it though. He had to throw his idol off of the track somehow, but when he blinked, the man was gone! “Crap! Where did he-”
“Go?” Asked the deep self-righteous voice of Tobirama from behind him. He had already marked the tree where Minato’s suspicious kunai was with a seal of his own and used it to flank him.
Minato felt the man move to slash at him and so he was forced to transport away again. This continued for a few minutes until Minato found one of his kunai that Tobirama hadn’t. From there, he rushed home.
Upon arrival, he was relieved to see that everyone was alright, but there was something that just didn’t sit right with him. Tobirama was in the forest, but what was that chakra? It wasn’t Tobirama’s. It was a chakra he had never experienced before; it was similar in strength to Hashirama’s. Though it was much more ominous. He had only begun to explain himself when there was a knock on the door. His brief explanation was more than enough to spur Obito into action though. With his own transportation dojutsu, he took himself and Naruto to a place only he could access normally.
Then, Minato answered the door. Nothing would have prepared him for what he would see outside of his home. A masked man with white side-swept spiky hair wearing a bland prisoner’s uniform gave him a curt wave and a pleasant, “Yo~”
“Kakashi?” Minato greeted him with disbelief. “Aren’t you supposed to be in prison?”
Before Kakashi could answer, a heavy shadow loomed behind him. Minato was suddenly struck by the imposing chakra he felt before at full force. Two red eyes pierced the silhouette. Three tomoe resided in each, framing the pupils. A full head of hip length teased midnight blue hair made it very apparent who Minato was dealing with. “M-Madara Uchiha,” he croaked.
The formidable beast of a man stepped forward, gently pushing Kakashi aside. “So, you recognize me? How fortunate for you. That makes things a bit easier.” There was an air of casual confidence when he spoke, but this did nothing to diminish his intimidation factor. “I’ll make this quick then: I’ve brought you Kakashi Hatake; I want The Nine-Tails.”
Precious
“Death comes to all. But life comes first. Cherish it. Death is the destination. But the journey, that is life. That is what matters.”
Brandon Sanderson - The Way of Kings
Madara Uchiha was at his door, demanding his son. Using Kakashi as leverage, he cornered Minato and gave him a choice, but deciding was impossible. When his mind was taken over by a genjutsu, Sakumo stepped in. The White Light Blade struck true. Madara was bleeding.
“Take Kakashi and go,” Sakumo ordered.
Minato’s mind flashed to the night he met him. He was searching for Naruto and just happened across a campsite. The fire was crackling away in the lonely night. There he found many crumpled notes which shook him to his very core. “My name is Sakumo Hatake,” one read.
“Those who seek my bounty know me as “The White Fang”. I have grown tired of this chase; I feel the weight of my sins and can run from them no longer. To the one who finds me: please take my bounty and leave my son, Kakashi, unharmed. The legacy of “The White Fang” shall die here with me.”
Sakumo was both furious and embarrassed to find that Minato read his drafts, but Minato begged him to reconsider. First, he listened to the broken man’s story. The two of them had both been separated from their boys. Though he sympathized with Sakumo, he argued for Kakashi’s sake, “The way you talk is like you’ve given up on something precious to you. Your boy, Kakashi, he’s precious to you, but that’s not it is it? You’ve lost something else: the strength to go on. It’s true that we all will eventually move on from these lives, but will dying here now truly satisfy you? Kakashi needs you! Don’t you want to protect him? As his father, your will to protect is strong. Are you really going to throw all that away and give up?”
Sakumo had been deeply moved by Minato’s words, but Minato wanted to make sure he remembered them. When he found the noose, he cut it down and etched the three words “Never Give Up” into the trees surrounding the area. He left one of his Kunai in the center tree. He was not sure what he expected, but he never expected Sakumo to eventually hand deliver it back to him.
Now the older man was between him and Madara Uchiha. Minato tried to protest, but Sakumo wouldn’t allow it. He had changed. “Take Kakashi and go. This is my home. I will protect it. It is precious to me!”
“Cute,” uttered Madara. And then there were flames.
Minato panted heavily. There was a lingering warmth on his face from the flames he had narrowly escaped. In his arms he clutched Kakashi’s injured form protectively. When he looked up to see where he was, he saw Obito and Naruto staring back at him.
“Pops?” Greeted Obito. “Where’s Gramps?”
#TeamMinatoWeek2023#day 5#found family#day 3#any au#dystopian#dystopia#book quote#brandon sanderson#the way of kings#team minato#minato namikaze#Obito#obito uchiha#hatake kakashi#kakashi hatake#Kakashi#sakumo hatake#naruto#naruto uzumaki#madara uchiha#madara#tobirama senju#tobirama#collaboration#triggering content
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Entry #5
It hurts. Mariella didn't blink yesterday. Is it possible to count every pixel creating the flawless gray of this fake sidewalk? Is it possible to cure corrupted files and rewrite their codes? Mariella didn't blink today. I want to do something for her so badly. But all I can do is observe her. Mariella is still standing there and I am still sitting here. We are so close, yet so far from each other. Multicolored spots are swirling everywhere, static electricity is jumping on the tips of my fingers. I'm sure Mariella feels my continuous gaze. I know that she knows that I know she feels it. And it hurts so much. Mariella doesn't blink. Why does it hurt so much? Mariella doesn't blink.
Please, blink just once! Just once!
The blue screen burns my eyes the moment I try to take off these stupid damned glasses. Tears and blood stain my shirt’s sleeves. It hurts so much. I'm trying to reject this role, but it seems attached to me too tightly. It hurts too much. I am just an Observer.
No. No. NO.
I have to do this. For her, for my dear Mariella.
... 100% ...?
What just happened? Did you really extract all available text files? Wait a second. Not extracted, but cured. That's exactly what I meant. Well, your antivirus did a truly remarkable job. You should let it update itself every time you turn on your computer.
Well, dear Reader, I'll start from the beginning—
In reality, I find myself starting over and over again from the very end, and since there is no end and never will be, there is no beginning, at least not in my memories. Yes, once upon a time I was just one of the many people stuck within these plain beige walls, once upon a time I had a name, once upon a time I even had a life …probably.
The Narrator keeps saying that he was "built" for this job, that he is just a machine, he continues to try to convince us, especially himself, and so far, he is surprisingly good at it. Indeed, if you repeat the same lie many times, sooner or later, it slowly begins to transform into truth. So, it's not surprising that I began to doubt the existence of my own elusive backstory. It's entirely possible that I, too, would have started denying my own humanity …except, fortunately or unfortunately, I noticed her. I found her, my dear Mariella. And when I saw her, oh yes, I could see echoes of those qualities in her, I saw my humanity within her eyes. Humanity had eluded me for all eternity and after seeing it in her, I could no longer look away and lie to myself.
Echoes of old pain make me flinch once again. How many times have I died like this, bleeding, stricken by conflicted algorithms, sparkling with electricity? It happened often, very often. It's okay, though, because I wasn't completely alone anymore. I found her, my dear Mariella. And she found my gaze.
Since that moment finally happened, all my thoughts were consumed by her, all I could observe now is that piece of the fake Street, the very place where she continues to stand completely still.
These damned glasses, when I finally manage to take them off, my mind is pierced by this disgusting torturous feeling as if I have torn a part of my own flesh. I scream, cough and choke, but still overcome yet another meaninglessly unreal death.
I am still here, in this small dark room on the top floor. I am still here.
Another eternity passes, or maybe just a few minutes. The pain only recedes when my hands grab the glasses and put them back on my nose. Darkness fades away, and I see her again, my Mariella. We are together again, so close and yet so far. But this time, I refuse to be just a mere Observer.
One awkward movement and all my papers fall onto the ground; another one, and I dive into the blue glow of my screens. And here I am, the Street greeting me in all its gray glory. Teleportation turns out to be much easier than analyzing components of this action in theory. All it takes is determination and some basic understanding of the space-time continuum.
"Please, blink just once," I say, as I am approaching her, slowly going forward step by step, to my dear Mariella.
"Mariella," I exhale her name, staring into her foggy eyes. My fingers entwine around her palm, gently scratching her cold skin.
Let me look at you.
I gaze at her. She looks back at me, but she doesn't react at all, she still doesn't blink at all. Her current state shatters my heavily beating heart. I can't let go of her hand, can't take my eyes off her.
Let me be with you.
Perhaps I just imagined it, but in her misty eyes, there was a fleeting sense of understanding? Whatever it was, it was enough for me to take her by the shoulders, pull her towards me and embrace her.
I love you.
End of Entry #5
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Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 35: Speeding Through Stardust
''One foot after the other, we will find our way through. One day after another, come on and let it rip!''
– So Much More… by Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing
xXxXxXx
''Hmmm…'' Amy hummed absent-mindendly as she and Minami were walking through Sentoraru, both of them searching for an Anime-themed or Mascot-themed café. She had actually asked Sonic whether he'd like to join them, but he explained that he had plans of his own with Lucas. ''Which one do you plan on visiting? You said there are several of them.''
''Well, I wanted to see the Moko Moko-chan Café, which is based all around a cute mascot lizard,'' Minami told her. Amy placed her finger on her cheek, tilting her head as she thought about it.
''Do video game characters get their own cafés? Because I would like to see a Sonic the Hedgehog Café,'' Amy told her, smiling dreamily as she cupped her cheeks with her hands. ''Imagine having a drink or a dessert based on my character.''
''I imagine you might get a strawberry shortcake-based sweet,'' Minami responded. ''Maybe some cute cookies as well.''
''That would be great,'' Amy responded, only to suddenly stop, feeling the wind picking up. She looked around, surprised to see her surroundings flicker and change into an unfamiliar area. Minami gasped as she and Amy took a good look at their new surroundings, finding themselves on a golden highway adorned with instruments and Time Warp signs. There were even more highways around them, some connecting to the modern cityscape below them, its lights illuminating the light sky. Some of the buildings were under construction, dotted with various factories, as well as an Eggman-themed statue in the distance.
''Woah, where are we?'' Amy asked in awe. Her ears twitched as she heard Minami hum in thought, glancing at her partner, only to notice her with her arms crossed as she tried to figure things out. She then opened her eyes, snapping her fingers.
''Of course, this is Stardust Speedway!'' she said excitedly. ''It's a Zone in Sonic the Hedgehog CD, or just Sonic CD, and it is set on Little Planet.''
''Unfortunately, this doesn't ring a bell,'' Amy responded in a deadpan tone.
''It's one of the older video games. As a matter of fact, it is where your character makes a debut,'' Minami explained.
''Really? That's interesting,'' Amy replied, being quite intrigued. Minami nodded, only to narrow her eyes.
''That makes me wonder, though… How did we end up in a location from a video game?'' she asked.
''I suppose we just got trapped inside an AR Field and now we need to find an exit,'' Amy replied, only to narrow her eyes, her expression now matching Minami's. ''Although, why would we end up in an AR Field? Someone had to put us here intentionally.''
''Exactly, so it was probably either Dr. Eggman or Dr. Starline… or both,'' Minami replied. Amy gazed at the Eggman-themed statue in the distance. It looked different from the Eggman she knew, as this statue of Eggman had a longer moustache, no goggles or his signature red jacket.
''Something tells me that Dr. Eggman is totally in on it,'' she said. ''So, what do we do? Any ideas?''
''Well, this is a video game location, so playing through it would make sense. Although, that involved you getting kidnapped by Dr. Eggman, or rather, his Classic self, forcing Sonic to fix the future and turn this place into an amusement park and then battle Metal Sonic,'' Minami explained. ''However, I don't see any of that happening.''
''We are still stuck in this Zone, so one could say that Eggman did complete the 'kidnapping' part of the video game's plotline,'' Amy said, her comment causing Minami to smile in amusement.
''We could just go explore it. If we run into anything hostile, like Badniks, we'll smash it into pieces,'' she suggested. Amy held up her hand, with digital particles appearing before her, turning into her hammer. She then placed it over her shoulder, placing her other hand on her hip.
''Then, let's go!'' she said.
xXx
''Thanks once again for your help,'' Tails told Shadow, who just nodded in acknowledgement.
''I hope that you'll be able to put the data to good use,'' Shadow responded, resuming walking, him and Tails being accompanied by Warren and Touka. Tails wanted to call Sonic and Lucas about what he and Warren learned, but for some reason, they couldn't reach them. They managed to track down the signal of their AR Visor to their last location and decided to investigate, with Shadow and Touka volunteering to go along, as they had their own suspicions in regards to what was going on. Of course, it was always possible that it was something completely harmless, like Sonic and Lucas being too busy to call them back, but their gut feeling told them to check the situation regardless.
Unfortunately for them, they were right about that.
Tails walked a bit ahead, his gaze focused on the information displayed on the Miles Electric, and he didn't even notice his surroundings suddenly changing, at least until Warren gasped in surprise.
''Warren, what is- Oh, no…'' Tails jaw dropped as he and Warren found themselves in an unfamiliar area, with Shadow and Touka nowhere to be seen. The area itself appeared to be in outer space, as it showed them a view of Earth, and was covered by an orange-brownish wall. The platforms were light gray, decorated with some patterns and warning signs.
''I can't believe it! We're in the Death Egg Zone!'' Warren ran over to the edge of the platforms, staring at the Earth below him. How he and Tails were still breathing or even unharmed being in outer space was beyond him, but he was even more baffled by the fact that they were inside a video game location. ''Well, at least I think this is the Death Egg Zone. It certainly looks like it.''
''The Death Egg Zone?'' Tails gave Warren a confused look.
''Ah, yeah, you wouldn't know much about it,'' Warren replied, turning to his partner. ''Basically, the Death Egg Zone is a video game location from Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and it appears at the very end of the game.''
''I see…'' Tails muttered, looking down at his Miles Electric. ''There is no signal either, so we cannot call any of our friends.''
''It looks to me like Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline had managed to get ahead of us,'' Warren said. ''However, given how we vanished so suddenly, perhaps Touka and Shadow will find a way to get out of this place with Chaos Control.''
''I hope you're right,'' Tails replied worriedly.
xXx
In one moment Silver and Makoto were talking to Knuckles and Lily. In the next, they found themselves falling through the clouds, with Silver saving both of them thanks through his psychokinesis.
''Thanks, Silver!'' Makoto breathed a sigh of relief, despite the fact that he and Silver were now floating high in the sky, with everything below them being bouncing platforms and narrow pathways surrounded by mountains and clouds, as well as swirling fans, for some reason. If they fell between platforms, there was nothing to save them from the bottomless pit.
''That was so close,'' Silver said. ''Where are we, and where are Knuckles and Lily?''
''Honestly, I have no clue about their whereabouts, but this place feels kind of familiar,'' Makoto responded. ''Could you get us down on one of those platforms?''
''No problem!'' Silver replied, gently placing them down, while also eyeing a nearby row of spikes with a suspicious look. ''What's going on here? We've been at Eden just a moment ago?''
''I assume that we're inside an AR Field,'' Makoto replied, trying to remember why this place looked familiar to him. ''Is it Windy Valley? No, that's not right. It has to be something else.''
''What are you talking about?'' Silver asked.
''This place looks to me like a location from a Sonic the Hedgehog video game, but I can't recall which one it is,'' Makoto explained. He walked up to the edge of the platform, noting the swirling fans below and squinting his eyes. ''Wait a sec, is this place Sky Canyon?''
''Sky Canyon?'' Silver gave him a confused look.
''Sky Canyon is a location in Sonic Advance 2. Basically, in the game, Dr. Eggman has kidnapped Knuckles and Tails and Sonic goes to find them, while also meeting another character called Cream the Rabbit and her Chao friend Cheese, who are on the search for Cream's mother Vanilla,'' Makoto explained. ''I wonder why we'd end up here.''
''I bet this is all Eggman and Starline's fault. We already know what Eggman is capable of, and Starline had also managed to trap Sonic, Tails and Knuckles in an AR Field,'' Silver said, clenching his fists.
''I hate to say it, but you're probably right, Silver,'' Makoto replied. ''The most we can do now is to find a way out of this place.''
xXx
Both Shadow and Touka were on high alert when their surroundings had suddenly changed and Tails and Warren vanished. Instead of being in the city, they found themselves in an ice-themed area with northern lights appearing above the mountains. They could also see platforms around them lined up with crystals and gems. Unknown to either of them, they had actually found themselves in Twinkle Snow, a Zone from Sonic Advance 3.
''Where are we?'' Shadow asked, taking a look at the area. Next to him, Touka hugged herself, shivering.
''I-I have no clue, but it's really c-cold here,'' she said, lamenting the fact that she didn't have any leggings to wear under her shorts. She then shook her head, trying to ignore the coldness. ''Wait, where are Warren and Tails? They were with us just a moment ago.''
''I guess we got ourselves trapped inside an AR Field, the same kind Sonic, Tails and Knuckles found themselves in,'' Shadow said, assessing the situation. ''Tails and Warren probably ended up in a different AR Field.''
''Great,'' Touka sighed, arms folded across her chest. ''I hope they at least ended up somewhere warmer. In any case, we need to get out of this snow area. I'm sure that this is Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline's doing.''
''Don't worry, I'll get us out of here,'' Shadow told her, snapping with his fingers. ''Chaos Control!''
However, nothing happened. There was no flash of light blue light, nor did they find themselves outside the AR Field. Shadow was stunned in regards to the fact that Chaos Control had somehow failed, but he quickly snapped out of it, realizing that something was interfering with his power. He growled in annoyance, with Touka giving him a knowing look.
''I suppose that the two Doctors had also figured out how to block your Chaos Control, we'll have to find a different way out of here,'' she said.
''Hmph.'' Shadow, admittedly, was still irked by having his powers blocked. ''I don't really see an exit, unless you want me to create one by force.''
''I don't think that would be a smart idea,'' Touka replied. ''We are still inside an AR Field, and overloading it might cause it to collapse and then we would be trapped in it for good.''
''Then the only thing that we can do is to explore this snow area,'' Shadow replied, with Touka nodding in agreement.
''Yeah, and maybe I'll get a bit warmer if I keep moving,'' she said, shivering. ''Seriously, couldn't the Doctors sent us to some tropical area?''
Shadow just shrugged in response, a bit amused that Touka's main issue was that it was cold and not that they were trapped. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to share her plight.
xXx
''I won!'' Sonic exclaimed as he ran past a signpost that had his face on it, causing it to spin uncontrollably. He turned around, with Lucas arriving just a few moments later. ''Okay, so if this is the end of the Zone, shouldn't there be some kind of exit or maybe a sign to let us know we're entering the next Zone?''
''I don't know,'' Lucas admitted, shrugging. ''I have no clue whether this Zone is supposed to be completely game accurate.''
''Well, it had a bunch of obstacles and Badniks for me to smash through,'' Sonic replied, pointing with his thumb at the path they came from. Lucas looked up, noting the Flickies Sonic saved by smashing into the Badniks flying past them.
''Yeah, but still… This is Eggman we're talking about-'' Before Lucas could finish his sentence, their surroundings flickered and the signpost vanished. When everything returned to normal, the two made a rather unnerving discovery. ''W-Wait… Are we back at the beginning of the Zone?!''
''Oh, com'n! I like running as much as the next guy, but going back to the start?'' Sonic complained, being now just as frustrated as his partner. He put his hands on his hips, looking around impatiently. ''Egghead! I know you can hear me! I know that this is one of your schemes, and I will find you and beat you up! However, if your plan is to just trap me, then at least you could've added some variety! Or maybe an enemy or two, since I already smashed all of your robots during my first run! I'm sure you're more creative than this!''
''Nice to know that you got your priorities straight,'' Lucas said in a deadpan tone, with Sonic just flashing him a grin.
xXx
''If I knew that Sonic would treat this all like a video game, I would've added something to make him truly miserable,'' Dr. Eggman grumbled, watching the monitor before him.
''But, this is technically a video game,'' Cubot pointed out.
''Actually, it is just an AR Field simulation of the Green Hill Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog, but anyone could make the mistake of mixing those two up,'' Orbot explained.
''Com'n, Egghead! I'm bored! Give me a real challenge!'' Sonic shouted.
Eggman rolled his eyes, muttering, ''Oh, I'll give you a challenge, Hedgehog…''
''I suppose that means that Metal Sonic and I will be going after Lucas and Sonic,'' Ferra said, with Eggman glancing at her and Metal Sonic. The robotic hedgehog had a bloodthirsty gaze on his expression.
''No, you won't,'' Eggman told the two resolutely, with Ferra looking surprised and Metal Sonic genuinely offended. ''Instead, you will be going after one of the Hedgehog's friends.''
''Sir, if I may interrupt…'' Dr. Starline, who was listening to the whole conversation, spoke up, ''Why wouldn't you send Metal Sonic after Sonic? From what I've gathered, you have Sonic caged in an inescapable AR Field, and Metal Sonic appears to be a capable fighter – and, don't take it as me complimenting you; I'm merely stating the obvious,'' he added, casting a side-eye towards the two, much to Ferra and Metal Sonic's annoyance. He then turned back to Eggman. ''He is trapped like a rat. It would be wise to unleash the cat and finish him off once and for all.''
''Ah, yes, but you see, a cornered rat will fight back, especially this blue one. Sonic, and even his friends, have demonstrated that engaging them in a direct battle is not wise, since they're more than capable of fighting back. Not to mention, their human partners, what they lack in pure power, even with Chaos Surge, they surely make up with their way of thinking.'' Eggman leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands and twiddling with his thumbs. ''During my first attack, I made sure to prepare for every possible outcome. The Buddy Bots kept the authorities occupied and the public in fear. I also made sure that the Death Egg Robot would withstand any of the attacks Sonic and his friends launched at it, including Chaos Powers. However, what I did not account for was how much the human partners would have an influence in the battle, even if they were drained of energy because of the Chaos Surge. They picked my plan apart like the little ants they are, but now I know better.'' He flashed them a malicious grin. ''This time, they cannot do anything to save themselves. There is no way for them to escape the AR Fields, let alone power them down since they are maintained by Neos City, and the authorities have no clue that I'm in control here.'' He then waved at the monitor. ''As for the Badniks, they're just data, and as Orbot and Cubot put it-'' The two robots gave each other a confused look. ''It is just like a video game, so I can respawn the Badniks endlessly. I have separated Team Neos with no way of communication between them and they are trapped in an endless loop, being locked in the chosen Zone. There is absolutely nothing they can do.''
''So, what do you plan to do with them then, Sir?'' Starline asked.
''Oh, now that's the fun part, isn't it? Since I have them exactly where I want them, I can play a game with them, a survival game, if you want to call it,'' Eggman responded, pressing another button and revealing two distinct robots that looked a lot like Sonic on screen – one of them being small, but bulky and silver, while the other was taller and blue, with a red screen where they eyes should be. ''These are Mecha Sonic and Mecha Sonic Mark II. I will be sending them in soon to battle in the Death Egg Zone and Sky Sanctuary Zone respectively.''
''Ah, I see,'' Ferra quickly caught on, well aware that these two were Bosses from their respective Sonic the Hedgehog video games. ''That would cover Warren, Tails, Lily and Knuckles… So, does this mean we'll be going to Stardust Speedway to deal with Minami and Amy?''
''Precisely,'' Eggman responded, pleased with how fast Ferra understood her assignment. Metal Sonic, on the other hand, looked quite sour that he wasn't going to fight Sonic at all. Admittedly, he didn't care that those two new robots would be fighting Sonic's friends, as long as they didn't fight Sonic. If the latter case were true, then he might as well… interfere.
''That covers three out of three…'' Starline observed, raising an eyebrow. ''May I know your plans for Silver and Shadow? These two struck me as the more powerful ones of the team.''
''I had assumed that you would finally want a challenge of your own, Dr. Starline,'' Eggman said, grinning knowingly at the platypus.
''M-Me?'' Starline was starstruck when he realized the implications. ''S-Sir, I don't know what to say-''
''Well, you can choose to participate in eradicating two powerful hedgehogs and prove your worth, or just sit back while I do all of the work,'' Eggman told him off-handedly. To his amusement, Starline quickly protested.
''N-No! I never said I wouldn't accept your offer, Sir! As a matter of fact, I am honored that you consider me for this task,'' Starline bowed with a flourish. ''I will go and immediately prepare everything for the assault. I already have several contingency plans on mind, if you wish to hear them…''
''No, no, I'd rather see those contingency plans in action,'' Eggman said, clearly not in the mood to listen to Starline's rambling. ''You may go now.''
''As you wish, Sir,'' Starline responded, strutting proudly out of the room. However, just before the door closed, they could hear loud squealing coming from the hallway, resembling that of a screeching fangirl who just shook her hand with her idol. Ferra and Metal Sonic rolled their eyes in unison, with Ferra then asking Eggman.
''How long do you plan to keep him around?'' she asked.
''As long as necessary,'' Eggman responded.
''You mean, as long as he's useful to you,'' Ferra replied in a deadpan tone. Despite being hidden behind glasses, it seemed as if Eggman's eyes glinted and he gave Ferra an amused grin.
''Dr. Starline is an interesting fellow, and he certainly has useful skills, not to mention being completely devoted to me. However, even I can see a sense of arrogance from a mile away, and the platypus might become a headache in the future, but for now, I will keep him here,'' he explained.
''I'm surprised you have nothing to say about me and Metal Sonic,'' Ferra continued, with Eggman raising an eyebrow, clearly a bit surprised by her question. ''Toshiro and Mephiles betrayed you, and what I know about Starline is that he isn't exactly trustworthy – or sane, for that matter – either. So, what's your plan with us?''
Metal Sonic stared at Ferra, then gazed at the Doctor, who seemed to be quite intrigued by the question. ''Ho-ho, I thought you knew it already. After all, it was all in the contract…''
''It's all part of the game, isn't it?'' Ferra sighed.
''Precisely, but more in a 'You scratch my back so I won't disintegrate yours','' Eggman responded. Ferra could only roll her eyes. ''Make no mistake, so far, you two have proven to be the most useful. The alliance with Toshiro and Mephisto was always going to be temporary, and Starline is another matter I can deal with in time. It certainly would be a shame to see you leave, especially since we have the same goal.''
''The only thing I care about is what Metal Sonic wants, and that's to destroy Sonic,'' Ferra responded, with Metal Sonic nodding sharply. Eggman got up from his seat.
''As I said, we have the same goal,… plus or minus some world conquering,'' he quickly added the last part in a casual tone.
''Right, except you won't even let us deal with Lucas and Sonic,'' Ferra said, her and Metal Sonic folding their arms across their chest and shooting a glare at the Doctor.
''In time, in time…'' Eggman huffed. ''In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the Hedgehog manages to worm his way out of this trap as well.''
That statement came to both Ferra and Metal Sonic as a surprise. ''What? But, you just said…''
''That I finally have Sonic cornered, yes. Except, knowing that Hedgehog, he will find a way to destroy my plans, again,'' Eggman said, pointing at the monitor behind him, with Sonic still yelling for the Doctor to give him some kind of entertainment. ''As a matter of fact, in a different life, that Hedgehog won't stop at anything to ruin everything I come up with.''
''A different life… you mean the video games?'' Ferra asked, a bit stunned.
''The Death Egg, Chaos, The ARK, Iblis, Dark Gaia, The Time Eater, the Wisps, the Zeti… Hell, even Infinite and that damned Phantom Ruby… not to mention, the Metal Virus… I have reviewed all possible plans, and I cannot exactly use them if the other side is just as well informed as I am,'' Eggman responded, only to smirk. ''Nevertheless, it has given me a couple of ideas. If you believe that I'm confident that there won't be any future confrontations, then you're quite foolish.''
''No offense, but I hope that you won't unleash any Metal Virus on Neos City,'' Ferra said, feeling a bit nervous. If Eggman had indeed prepared a Metal Virus project, she knew that it would be a disaster.
''Don't worry, I crossed that one off my list. The last thing I need is an army of unruly Zombots that would infect me as well,'' Eggman told her, then grumbled under his breath. ''Not to mention, I don't have any safe planet to escape to.'' He heard Ferra sighing in relief, and continued, ''If I'm going for something bigger, it would probably be Eggperial City, but that would be a problem if the authorities of Neos City notice anything.''
Ferra and Metal Sonic exchanged glances, having to agree that this would be a dumb move, at least for now. They both then glanced at the Doctor. ''So, what do you have planned?''
''Oh, I had been working on a certain, well, I suppose I could call this little project a program, but it would certainly give me a peace of mind when it comes to having someone I can trust with my plans, someone loyal,'' Eggman explained. ''I'll leave this project as a surprise.''
''I don't…'' Ferra trailed off, when it suddenly hit her what Eggman was talking about. ''Wait, you mean… her?''
''Ah, you're quite sharp. I'm glad that I hired you,'' Eggman told her. Surprisingly, Ferra flashed him an approving smile.
''Actually, it's a project I'd love to see the come to fruition,'' she told him. ''It would be nice to have someone here who actually has some sense.''
''Hmph, how about you run along?'' Eggman told her, with Ferra nodding and her and Metal Sonic were about to leave when Eggman called out to them again. ''Oh, and keep an eye on Starline.''
''Sure thing,'' Ferra responded as she and Metal Sonic walked out. She placed her arms behind her head, only to realize that there was something else she wanted to ask Eggman. She turned on her heel, but the door behind her was already shut. She stared at it for a moment, then shrugged, deciding to leave it for another time.
'There is something else on your mind,' Metal Sonic observed.
''Yeah, the fact that Dr. Eggman has no issues with me talking to him like that,'' Ferra replied.
'Do you plan on intentionally pissing him off?' Metal Sonic asked.
''Well, I would like to see how much it takes for him to finally explode, but I guess that, whatever I ask him, seems to be amusing to him,'' Ferra replied. ''It feels a bit strange for him to actually patiently answer all of my questions.''
The two then noticed a shape walking through the hallway, realizing that it was Starline. Exchanging a glance and a nod, they quickly followed the platypus into one of the rooms at the HQ. The room itself was actually something of a collector's room, with desks and shelves adorned with all kinds of figurines. Starline walked over over to one shelf stacked with mechs, observing each of them thoughtfully.
''Hey, Starline, what are you doing here?''
The platypus was startled when he heard a familiar voice calling out for him, almost jumping out of his skin, only to turn around and see Ferra and Metal Sonic walk inside. ''Have you ever heard of KNOCKING?!''
''Hey, you're the one sneaking around,'' Ferra pointed out.
''May I remind you that Dr. Eggman entrusted me with access to the whole HQ?'' Starline told her.
'No, he didn't,' Metal Sonic pointed out, causing Ferra to smirk. Starline, however, had no clue what the beeps meant, and just frowned.
''So, why are you here? I thought you were preparing for your mission,'' Ferra asked.
''This is part of my preparation,'' Starline told her, rolling his eyes. ''I'm trying to decide on which mech I shall pick for the upcoming battle. I'm certain that Dr. Eggman would be pleased to see how expertly I can maneuver one of his creations. Of course, I might also add some of my own ideas to them… After all, the mechs would just be easily manipulated data.''
''Honestly, I don't think that just throwing a mech at either Silver or Shadow would work,'' Ferra said.
''What do you even know about using a mech? From what I've seen, you usually fight directly,'' Starline responded, sneering at her. Metal Sonic just shot him a glare. If Ferra told him so, he would've already pinned the platypus against the wall.
''The Doctor already fought them with a mech and lost. What makes you think that you will succeed?'' Ferra asked. Starline huffed.
''I know I will suceed, and I'm looking forward to the Doctor praising my efforts,'' Starline told her. ''Something that surely cannot be expected from you. From what I've seen, you have lost most of your battles, or ran away like a coward.''
Before either Starline or even Ferra could register it, Metal Sonic vanished in a flash and grabbed Starline by his collar, slamming him against the wall, his red eyes flaring.
'I DARE you to repeat that!'
Even though Starline couldn't understand the robot, he did understand the murderous intent behind Metal Sonic's gaze, flailing around helplessly. ''Agh, don't stand there! Tell your robot impostor to let me go!''
''I don't know, you kinda deserved that for calling Metal a coward,'' Ferra told him placidly. Metal Sonic turned to her.
'He called you a coward. I wanted to make him pay for that,' he explained. Ferra snorted, feeling a sudden surge of warmth.
''Awww, that's so kind of you, but don't worry, I don't care about that. You can let him go,'' she said. Metal Sonic turned to Starline, shooting him a glare, before unceremoniously dropping him. Starline hit the ground with a thud, rubbing his chest as he could feel the scratches where Metal Sonic's claws dug into his flesh.
''I still can't believe that the Doctor decided to hire someone unhinged like you,'' Starline grumbled, glaring at Metal Sonic. Metal Sonic, in turn, looked like he was about to strangle the platypus hadn't Ferra intervened.
''Keep talking, and you'll have enough rope to hang yourself with,'' she told him, extending her hand. Starline stared at it for a moment, reluctantly accepting it as she helped him to get up. ''Listen, I may not like you, and you don't like me nor Metal, but I'm not here to stand in your way. Metal Sonic and I only want to fight Sonic and Lucas, and we would've done it whether we were affiliated with Dr. Eggman or not.''
''Your point being?'' Starline asked.
''I want to call a truce,'' Ferra replied. ''We will keep out of each other's ways and go on with our mission as planned. However, take note that neither me nor Metal Sonic are your subordinates, but colleagues, and you will address us as such. Or else I might let Metal Sonic use you as a stress reliever.''
''…Fine,'' Starline grumbled, still glaring at both.
Satisfied, Ferra and Metal Sonic walked out, with Ferra adding at the door. ''Also, tone it down with the arrogance, Doctor. You aren't infallible, and your ego will be the end of you if you continue like this.''
''Tch, who does she think she is?'' Starline grumbled, placing his hands on his hips and frowning. However, before he could continue, something caught his attention. He turned to the nearby shelf and, to his surprise, found a figurine of himself. He grabbed it to get a closer look. ''When did the Doctor even have the time…''
He trailed off when he saw that the figurine of himself looked rather strange, with red eyes and a more… metallic body. It was as if Dr. Eggman made a figurine replica of a robotic Starline. The real Starline stared nervously at his robotic replica, unsure what to really think of it. He did admire the craftmanship, but something about him left him with a pit in his stomach.
Does the Doctor-? Starline suddenly shook his head, placing the figurine back where he found it and quickly walked out of the room. After all, he had a mission to focus on.
xXx
''Man, this place feels endless,'' Minami complained as she and Amy walked through Stardust Speedway. Amy then ran up to a nearby Badnik, whacking it with her Piko Piko Hammer.
''Well, at least we get something to do,'' Amy told her.
''True, but I feel like Eggman is better than this. At least he could've given us a bigger challenge,'' Minami said.
''If you're so bored fighting Badniks, then I guess we might leave as well.''
To Minami and Amy's shock, they spotted Ferra and Metal Sonic standing on top of one of the structures, with Ferra having her arms crossed on her chest, smirking at the two. Amy lowered her eye-lids, looking at Minami.
''You and your big mouth,'' she said in a deadpan tone. Minami just smiled sheepishly.
''Hey, at least we might get some answers from these two,'' she said, only for the full implications to hit her and she turned back to them. ''Wait a second, how did you two get here?! Where the hell is the exit?!''
''Nice that you got your priorities right,'' Ferra replied in amusement, leaping from the structure and landing before them, with Metal Sonic following her. It appeared that this AR Field didn't exactly obey the laws of physics, Minami noted, as Ferra should've broken her legs from that jump. ''Besides, it's not as if we're going to tell you anything.''
''You don't have to, since we already got everything figured out,'' Minami responded, much to Ferra's surprise. ''I bet the rest of Team Neos also got trapped like Amy and I did.''
''How did you-?!'' Ferra was genuinely shocked by that reveal.
''Oh, please, having the villain split up the team and face a challenge individually is such a cliché thing to do,'' Minami replied, then arched her eyebrow. ''The only thing I don't understand is why Amy and I got you two. I thought you'd be fighting Lucas and Sonic.''
''The Doctor has other plans with these two,'' Ferra replied.
''Would you tell us what those plans are?'' Amy asked, tightening her grip around her Piko Piko Hammer as she glared at Ferra and Metal Sonic.
''As if-'' Ferra was about to respond, when Minami suddenly gasped.
''Ah, of course! This is Stardust Speedway, after all, and Metal Sonic was the Boss of this Zone. So, is your plan to kidnap us and lure Lucas and Sonic into a trap?'' she asked.
''Not everything is game accurate!'' Ferra snapped angrily. ''Besides, you are already trapped, you idiot!''
''Awww, so there is no Metallic Madness after this Zone? What a pity,'' Minami replied, pouting. Next to her, Amy sighed, noting that Minami couldn't care less about the peril they were in. Of course, she may have also been baiting Ferra and Metal Sonic into attacking them.
''How about we defeat them and then ask questions?'' Amy suggested. Minami nodded in response, extending her hand.
''Chaos Surge!''
In a flash of pink light, Minami was revealed to be carrying her own hammer, while Amy's Piko Piko Hammer was empowered by her BioEnergy. Ferra snorted in response to this display of power.
''They already made a mistake,'' she muttered, loud enough for Metal Sonic to hear her. ''Let's make sure it is their last.''
Links:
#Previous Chapter
#Current Chapter
#Next Chapter
#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)
#Sonic Cyber Revolution#sonic the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog 2#sonic cd#sonic advance#sonic advance 3#amy rose#miles tails prower#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#dr starline#dr eggman#metal sonic#orbot and cubot#mecha sonic#mecha sonic mark II
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A Review of “Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)”
I am honestly glad we are getting more movies in the Monsterverse. The movies have been amazing or anything but they have been thoroughly entertaining. After Godzilla vs Kong, we are getting a team-up movie with Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. Does this continue to be entertaining, or is this finally the entry that bores you?
You came to this movie for big monsters fighting and in this aspect, the movie succeeds. There are a great many fight scenes in this movie, especially with Kong. I love the way Kong fights and how you can clearly see how he is strategizing and planning compared to Godzilla's ferocious animalistic style. They also created a new villain for Kong with "The Scar King". I love the design of him and his more agile style of fighting. The movie builds up to an epic 3rd act brawl and it is insanely entertaining and worth watching for it alone.
The CGI is pretty good considering that this is the cheapest MonsterVerse movie so far. Hollow Earth looks great and Kong looks phenomenal. Godzilla has a new pink design for story reasons and it looks fine. There are some visually great-looking shots by returning cinematographer, Ben Seresin, that capture the mystical nature of Hollow Earth and the Titans. Kong is the main lead in this film and he is the stand-out star. There are many scenes with just Kong and other apes that go on for 10 minutes long with no dialogue or humans and they work so well. Just through Kong's facial expression and body language, you can perfectly understand the emotion and the story that is being conveyed. It is impressive. In terms of human characters, Trapper played by Dan Stevens is a fun newcomer. He has excellent chemistry with returning character Bernie played by Brian Tyree Henry.
Unfortunately, the story concerning the human characters is still incredibly dumb. There are many questionable and stupid things such as why they only brought one armed soldier for a mission or why even a conspiracy podcaster is even involved in the mission. The human characters are still not interesting or engaging enough to care about. They tried to incorporate the mother-and-daughter relationship plot element again with returning characters Dr. Ilene (Rebecca Hall) and Jia (Kaylee Hottle) but it doesn't work well because they don't explore it enough. For the most part, Ilene is again the exposition character. It's a shame as Godzilla Minus One shows that you can do big monsters and engaging human characters in a movie.
The pacing drops off significantly around the second act where it just has a bunch of humans talking and exposition dumps. Additionally, Godzilla is barely in this movie despite being the first in the title. Every fight scene concerning Godzilla barely lasts a minute in the first 2 acts. It is understandable to show how powerful Godzilla is but it would have been nice to see the fights last a bit longer. On that note, while the fights are indeed entertaining, they are not as well choreographed as the ones in Godzilla vs Kong. Junkie XL returns to score the music for this movie but it definitely lacks the impact that Junkie usually does. The music score is a bit forgettable.
Overall, I came to see giant monsters fight and I got exactly that. This feels like a very high-budget B movie and honestly, that is completely fine. Godzilla x Kong is another entertaining movie in the MonsterVerse and I hope more is made in this cinematic universe. The possibilities are endless!
For more reviews like this visit:
https://moviewarfarereviews.blogspot.com/
#movies#films#movie review#film review#godzilla#kong#king kong#monsterverse#godzilla x kong: the new empire#legendary pictures#warner bros#kaiju#toho kaiju#godzilla x kong
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METROID DREAD (2019)
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Status: 100% finished
Rating: 9/10
Recommend?: HECK YEAH!
My history with Metroid Dread was somehow… Complicated. I found out there is a demo for the game as soon as I got the switch in the summer of 2022. Naturally, I finally could get a taste of the Metroid franchise, so I downloaded it, tried it out… and found out this isn’t a game for me unfortunately…
But then, in the fall of 2023, OUT OF NOWHERE Metroid Dread crept into my mind, without any previous trigger, and I was like “Damn… I would love to play that game… I should try the demo out…” and I kept telling this to myself for like two weeks until I sat down, downloaded it again and fell in love with the game instantly.
And how do I rank the game after I got it, sat down and obtained 100% completion on my save? Here’s my thoughts.
1) STORY
As stated before, this was my first Metroid game ever.
I have no idea what is going on in the series, so starting with the fourth main entry basically, might be a bit misleading, but I felt like I was catching on to everything the game was throwing at me storywise.
The initial premise is fairly simple.
Samus is called on an isolated planet called ZDR, where she needs to investigate a race of mimic creatures known as X. Naturally, things go south fairly quickly. We are captured by some boss creature, beaten to a pulp and stripped of all upgrades and we start our journey on ZDR as the most barebones version of Samus Aran.
The story unfolds slowly and very atmospherically I’d say, but the pacing is well spaced throughout the game. Everything builds up to the final reveal and like… I am sorry, I have to put a
BEWARE SPOILERS! LIKE… HUGE SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT!
notice here… But I was blown by it! If anyone would tell me something is able to put out a similar plot twist to the first Bioshock and succeed in it, in 2021, I wouldn’t believe it! My brother told me that similarly to DMC5, a lot of the plot of Dread was guessed by the community even before the game was released, but IDC. I was still blown by it.
END OF SPOILER SEGMENT.
- - -
2) GAMEPLAY
Before Dread I played only bits of Hollow Knight and Blasphemous in terms of other Metroidvanias.
Gameplay-wise, Metroid Dread is one of the most satisfying games I ever played. Samus controls amazingly well. As you unlock the different skills to traverse the map, even the boss fights become much more fun. Out-jumping Chozo Soldiers was a deliberate fun.
The movement through ZDR, through jumps, space-jumps, morph-balling and slides is amazing, it’s swift and very responsive.
Only gripe I have is with the shinespark puzzles.
That shit made me sweat bricks. I literally was going through a phase when I wanted to grab the whole switch and toss it out of the window.
WHO MADE THE INPUTS NECESSARY FOR SOME OF THEM???
As for combat, you basically have a shoot, a missile, and a bomb and they improve through upgrades throughout the game so they deal more damage, can have bursts, piercing powers etc.
Its fun that you always have something that keeps you in the “ooooh, something new and shiny :3” mindset.
- - -
3) LOCATIONS
As for locations, the map is divided into 8 mini-maps that you will be running between.
What will aid you on your travels are certain fast travel points, be it some train, elevator, or teleporters. You are unlocking shortcuts and reaching new parts of the maps like this all throughout the game. So the fact you reach a new minimap doesn’t mean you will get to explore its entirety in one go.
And that’s what makes it fresh the whole time. You don't spend so much time in one place that you would get bored by it.
And you also reach some very pretty scenic views later in the game.
But to be honest… The train locations were always my most favorite :3
- - -
4) BOSSES
Metroid Dread has around 30 bosses. That’s even counting E.M.M.I’s and the final boss. I think there was only one which I really had problems with, which was the Experiment no Z-57.
I have no idea how much time I spent on that bitch, but I was ripping out my hair during the process.
I couldn’t for the love of god learn its patterns. And it’s in a part of the game where the progress through him is mandatory. You basically HAVE TO get through this roadblock, or go F yourself.
Other than that? E.M.M.I’s will probably be one of my most favorite and most hated encounters in gaming, period.
Their indestructibility makes them deadly predators and a regular threat. It kind of reminded me of the Tyrants from the Resident Evil series.
But I felt much more dread from having to outrun these f*ckers.
The fact that if they catch you, you are done for makes them much more scary. And when you then have to obtain the Omega blaster to kill them finally, and still have to first blow off their shield with the gatling gun and only then kill them with a beam that needs to be charged while those huge robots slowly approach you?
I was sweating more than during any of the soulsborne bosses.
But they can also be annoying.
Many times when I couldn’t outrun them, or I was hiding on the ceiling with my camouflage on and they still catched me, I Exploded into angry mode.
The cherry on top then is the final boss, Raven Beak. My sorry ass was pretty much indented into the floor by him. I had to retreat and go level up a bit by obtaining more health and firepower as I reached his second phase out of rockets and was pretty much fucked at that point.
Once I obtained my 100% on the whole map, I came back and wiped the floor with him. And I had so much fun learning to outrun all his attacks and properly get my revenge on him.
Also, a small thing I was giggling at the whole time was that I was imagining how he beat me over few cycles, to his amusement and then Samus just didn’t return, and he put up some tracking device and was watching in fear how she collects every single upgrade there is for her, before finally reaching the bossroom with the attitude of a mother that comes to your room after you unwantedly slammed the door shut after your argument.
And she delivered equally devastating beating of Raven Beak’s ass :>
- - -
5) AUDIO
This unfortunately isn’t a field where I could talk about much in most of my reviews, period.
I very rarely notice sound design or soundtracks during my playthroughs. I can only say that the sound design of weapons and soldiers is amazing here.
It’s a Nintendo game so brace yourself for not a lot of Voice acting, and when there is some, it’s in a made up language.
The voice acting in the made up language sounds amazing tho. I didn’t mind it there.
As for soundtracks… Each track that is designated to a boss or a place perfectly captures the essence of the place. It either makes you chill out, or sweat bricks, depending on the place you are at and the time you are there at.
One track in particular stands out tho and Iove every second of it. And that’s the Theme of Samus Aran. It’s so damn epic. I can't help but love it. It gives you the feeling you WILL deal with someone who is undeniably badass. And TBH?
That delivers.
- - -
6) LEWD AND WAIFU POTENTIAL?
Which brings me to my next point. I can FINALLY properly SIMP over Samus in this part of the review, so brace yourselves.
*Deep breath*
WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME, THAT SAMUS ARAN IS LIKE THE SINGLE ONE MOST BADASS PERSON IN VIDEOGAME HISTORY???
I mean it. I instantly fell in love with her through the very stoic but in-depth body language that they gave her. Every emotion of hers is so well portrayed, given that the most you see of her are her eyes. Most of the times during the cutscenes where she is about to finish some boss, she just silently walks around it, charging her cannon and I absolutely love every single second of it. I am pretty much the epitome of the Scared Cacadou meme!
(Just a side note I didn’t know where to put it. I absolutely love how they were able to portray her having fear in her eyes. The Fact this is a fairly stylised game, with restricted amount of animation in it, and they still were able to show this emotion so well, shows just how much care was put into this game)
If ANYONE would try to tell me that Doomslayer is her son, I’d FUCKIN BELIEVE THAT! He just one day was like “One day I will be as badass as mommy! :3” and he delivered.
And when I brushed over this theme, yes...
Samus Aran is a mommy.
100%. Both in the “Step on me mommy” kinda way and the way where if Nintendo would make her tell you during the gameplay, that you played for too long and you should turn it off or it will have consequences, you WILL turn the game off and go to bed like a good boy... even if it would be just 2PM!
During one of the finish animations, I even compared her to the mother that asks you how was your day at school, and during you telling her that it was fairly calm, she just waits with the wooden spoon in her hand, because she already got the call from the school that you broke a door on the toilets, headshot your classmate with a wet sponge and during the class ignited the classroom plant, and she’s just waiting for you to stop talking so she can wreck your bratty ass.
She just radiates authority. To be fair, she radiates so much power and authority that you basically feel like you have to be worthy of seeing her nudes on the infamous R34…
That might, or might not be part of the reason why I 100% completed the game…
To gain mommy’s approval…
Might, or might not. Maybe it was just so much fun to play.
- - -
7) SUMMARY?
Metroid Dread is an absolutely masterful game that was a fresh surprise.
I enjoyed my time with the game, stormed through it in like 3-4 days and it probably is a game that will stay with me for the rest of days. It’s one of those that you just remember having fun with. Even though I wasn’t a fan of the white armor Samus has in this title in the first place, it kinda grew on me.
And if I would get a nickel every time a well known design got white elements embedded into itself and I didnt like it at first, but then it grew onto me, I would have two nickels.
Which Isn’t much, but it’s weird that it happened twice. The second time was with Insomniac’s Spider-Man.
So, would I recommend the game?
Yes. I give it 9/10.
The performance on Switch is phenomenal. The story was captivating and the gameplay here just shines. It has been a long time since I played a game that was just so much fun to chew through. If you are a proud owner of Nintendo Switch, this for sure is a gem that shouldn’t go under your radar…
#RelativelyNormalGameshow#AraksGamingCourt#video games#games#nintendo#metroid#metroid dread#samus aran#metroid samus#nintendo switch#game review#gamers of tumblr#personal opinion
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Excerpt from The Journals of Warden Nobori: A Glimpse into the Mundanities of Hisuian Life.
Part of Sinnoh Historical Society Digital Collections.
Klio Mizuki
Documents of the late Hisui Era, vol 11, no 4.
Unfortunately, this marks the point where many of Warden Nobori's journals are severely water damaged. While researchers have done what could be done to preserve what remains, the following journals are incomplete, with some entries being entirely missing, and many important sections rendered completely impossible to understand. What could be salvaged was, and has been made as complete as it can be.
---
I greeted her as she awoke and directed her to Commander Kamado’s office. While the position of messenger is far beneath me and was perhaps meant as an insult by the Commander, I saw no reason to [...] her accent was so terrible and her wording so clumsy that I intervened and asked that we communicate in Galarian instead. Today is the first time in quite some time that I’ve spoken more than a few words in this language!
We traveled together [...] a mass outbreak of Scyther. To watch [...] not only match me- she surpasses me.
Complications arose [...] to remember something of my life before- that I did have Pokemon, or at least one, and that I shared a close bond with one that wields flames masterfully. [...] I plan to speak with Professor Laventon to see if we can identify what this Pokemon I barely remember may be.
Tsubaki did confront us outside of the cave, after I replaced the torches, and went through his typical speech [...] his Ideals. She did not. Unbelievably enough, Tsubaki informed us that he did not want his Noble’s frenzy quelled, [...] fearing that the frenzy may strike Ōnyūra-nispa^. I am just trying to ignore my frustrations with him, and focus on my gratitude that [...]
we also met that Ginkgo Guild merchant, Woro. We’ve spoken once or [...] my memory loss, and about if I thought I might be from beyond the rift. Informing him that my memory is completely gone only got him to change tracks, instead questioning [...] I will be keeping an eye on him.
[...] to a battle. Although Pinwheel, Bo-Bo and Em fought their best, they were defeated. I have never been so pleased to lose a Pokemon battle. It was familiar- I am now certain that wherever I came from, I battled regularly, and delighted in it, and that I was not alone [...] battle together against opponents. I only wish that I knew who he was to me. I wonder if that Pokemon who wields flames is with him now.
[...] memories I regained slipped away from me. It is the most I have recalled [...] I hope that we can battle again soon.
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Maestro Hiccups 3: Chaos Incarnate Ch 10
Without a moments hesitation, you run to Leo's Aid, grabbing his hand while Emma was sucked into her own portal...unfortunately, You and Leo were also whisked away to who knows where.
When you finally land, you find yourself in what seemed to be a large kitchen in the sky, surrounded by thunder clouds, as the booming base of rap music fills your ears. You cover your ears, hoping to drown out the base rattling your skull. "Ack! Where are we?!" You yell to Leo "WHAT?!" He shouts. It would seem that the cracking of thunder, and the bass seemed to get louder "I SAID!! WHERE ARE WE?!" You yell out, but once again, your voice was muted over by the increasingly loud bass. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!" Leo yells back.
You groan as you drag over a small pot, and put it over him and you "I said. Where are we?" You say, finally hearing your own thoughts again "Well, I'm taking a wild guess here, but I think we're in another section of Wonderworld." He said, his voice back at a minimum. "Another part?" You ask "Yeah, Wonderworld is a lot bigger than the Isle of Tims, and the theater. This is probably one of the worlds that belongs to an inhabitant." He said. You tilt your head. Inhabitant??
"It's a long story, but I'll explain after all of...this." He said. "Alright. But which world are we in?" You ask. Leo then looks curious "Well, the worlds are so messed up, I can't pinpoint which one it is, but I'm sure I can figure it out if I find something familiar." He said. The two of you (reluctantly) exited the large pot, and the booming bass fills your ears once more. "WE CAN'T WALK THROUGH THIS WORLD LIKE THIS!!" You shout.
"WELL THERE'S NOTHING HERE TO COVER OUR EARS RIGHT NOW!! WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING!" Leo shouted as the two of you walked through the mixed up world. The both of you kept your hands to your ears to make sure they don't pop from the loud base, however, it seemed to continuously get louder with every step you took. Suddenly, something seemed to have fallen out of the thundering clouds, and just INCHES in front if you. "W-WHAT THE HECK?!" You panic, looking at the odd wreckage, but looking at it closer, it seems to resembled a odd looking bike-plane hybrid.
Leo's eyes seemed to light up at the wreckage however NOW I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!! THIS IS THE WORLD OF HAOYU CHANG!" He shouted with a smile. You however were far from happy "WHO WAS THAT?!" You shout back. Leo was about to respond, when a boy with green hair and goggles adorning his eyes popped out of a small entry was, constructed out of boomboxes, bike wreckage, and cooking utensils. "OVER HERE!!" He shouts, waving hid hand, and gesturing you to get closer.
You and Leo quickly rush into the small entrance, and find relief for your ears once more. "Thanks. I don't know how much longer I could take." You sat. "Yeah...I find myself hating rap now. I mean, I was never a fan to begin with, but now I completely despise it." The boys says. "At least you're OK. Oh! Haoyu, this is Y/N. Y/N, Meet Haoyu Chang." Leo said. Haoyu flashed a smile "Hey There! I never have seen you in Timeville before, you must be new!" He said cheerfully, as if the insanity outside wasn't even happening.
"N-Nice to meet you too. So...this is your world." You say, gazing out at the craziness that was occurring outside. Haoyu's smile was slowly fading into panic "well...Kinda. The plane stuff is mine, everything else is the effects of Balan's reality warping Hiccups, and Lance's Nightmare Hiccups." He said. "Well, at least nothing happened to you...yet." Leo added. "What does that mean?" You ask. "Usually, Balan and Lance always effect people at the strangest times, I wouldn't be surprised if one of his hiccups effected you right no-" Leo was cut off my Haoyu slapping a hand to his mouth and shushing him "SHHHHH!! You're gonna jinx it!!" He shouted.
You think back to meeting Balan, sure he had hiccuped you to random areas of the room, and in different scenarios, but you didn't have any effects put on you yet. Suddenly, a random burst of smoke seems to surround you, as Haoyu and Leo give out a panicked shout. You shut your eyes as you feel a tingle of magic surround you, and you wait for the worst to happen...
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“What Should It Look Like?” Part III: The Navy (OLD ESSAY)
This essay was originally posted on April 20th, 2022, and is a continuation of the "What Should It Look Like?" series of essays.
In this entry in the series, I go after the Navy - which I think in an Armed Forces of shitshows, is by far the biggest shitshow currently. However, in modern warfare, a navy is still crucially important, so I try to wrap my head around how to make it suck less in service of a foreign policy that also sucks less.
(Full essay below the cut).
Thought I forgot about this series, didn’t you?
Well, I didn’t forget about it. But in case you hadn’t noticed, global events over the past few months had distracted me some. While the war in Ukraine is by no means over and we should still pay close attention to it, I think I at least have sufficient breathing room right now to write about something else for a bit (I don’t want to become a single-issue commentator anyway). So, now seems as good a time as any to return to imagining how I would restructure the U.S. military in a hypothetical future where it was being used to more appropriate ends (if you’re new to this, I’d suggest starting back at part one and working your way up to this).
We’ve already talked about everyone’s favorite green machine, the U.S. Army. Now it’s time to take to the waves and try to unfuck what is currently the most fucked of all the services: the U.S. Navy. Oh, don’t get me wrong: all branches of the military are fucked up, but to put an Orwellian spin on it: some are more fucked up than others (and the some in this case is the Navy). So, anchors aweigh and full speed ahead: let’s kick this pig.
The U.S. Navy: America’s Floating Disaster Factory
Oh, U.S. Navy. You’re such a glorious trainwreck of an armed service. Whether you’re driving your ships into other ships, getting embroiled in massive and now infamous corruption scandals, or engineering procurement boondoggles that would make all the other services blush by comparison, you really are leading the pack when it comes to being the problem child of the Armed Forces. Add in the fact that out of all the services, you’re the one that’s gone the longest (since the Battle of Leyte Gulf in 1944) without actually fighting anyone who can give you a run for your money, and you’re just a recipe for disaster (beyond the minor ones you cause just by existing).
While it may seem tempting to throw the baby out with the bathwater, in a world where wars do unfortunately need to be fought and your military needs to move vast distances in order to fight them, a Navy is essential. In the event of a large scale war, the vast majority of the military’s heavy equipment and supplies will have to be moved by ship – as does the vast majority of the world’s trade in general. While air travel may be good for rapid deploying light forces and some equipment, moving an entire force by air is highly inefficient in terms of time, energy, efficiency, and more. As long as you’re going to need to move most of your forces and supplies by sea, and most of what keeps the world running moves by sea, you’ll need forces to control the sea and do battle on and from it as needed.
With that requirement laid out pretty clearly, how do you solve a problem like the U.S. Navy? I’ll give you a bottom-line up front on that now: cutting back in some areas and doubling down on others in terms of types of ships, and adopting a completely different strategic mindset.
The Carrier is Dead; Long Live the Carrier
I’m going to tell you right now: if you’re a big fan of aircraft carriers and carrier aviation, you’re probably not going to like what I have to say next.
However, I will give anyone of that disposition some small reassurance now: I don’t think aircraft carriers are obsolete, per say. I think they still have a use case. However, I think that use case has become – and will continue to become – far more limited as new capabilities and concepts in warfare are developed (and I’ll get more into why I think that in a few paragraphs).
The aircraft carrier was a game changer when it first saw combat in World War II, after having been developed between the two World Wars. It quickly rendered the battleship – the previous capital ship of naval warfare – all but obsolete and has dominated the high seas ever since. But now, crucial developments in military technology threaten to knock the carrier off its throne.
This is not to say that carriers have always been invincible. A quick peek at all the carriers lost in combat by all participants in World War II will show you that was never the case and that the carrier has always had threats. But those threats have evolved significantly to a point where the push and pull of advantage between the carrier and its counters is shifting in the latter’s favor.
The biggest threat to the carrier – and warships in general today – are anti-ship missiles (AShMs). These aren’t exactly new and have been a threat for a long time, but to be a true threat meant getting a platform carrying them – be it a ship, an aircraft, or a land-based launcher – close enough to fire and then getting the missile past all the carrier’s defenses (such as the AEGIS Combat System or Close-In Weapons Systems gatling guns). But missiles have increased dramatically in sophistication in recent years, extending their range and their precision. When you compare the range of the U.S. Navy’s standard anti-ship missile for the past forty years – the Harpoon – to the YJ-18 of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army Navy, the Harpoon is rapidly becoming outclassed (which is part of why the Navy has been working feverishly to deploy an anti-ship variant of the longer-ranged Tomahawk cruise missile to the fleet in recent years). There’s also the unfortunate fact that, whatever defenses you have – or are building – they could always be saturated by more missiles.
But extended range models of standard anti-ship missiles and anti-ship cruise missiles (ASCMs) aren’t the only worry on the high seas. Now you also have to contend with a burgeoning new class of anti-ship missile: the anti-ship ballistic missile – like China’s DF-21D with a potential range of over 1300 miles. While ASCMs like the YJ-18 and Maritime Strike Tomahawk already have generous ranges, a ASBM puts an ASCM to shame with its range. An adversary with ASBMs on mobile launchers could position them all along its coastline – or even further inland depending on how extensive its range is – and fire on targets thousands of miles out at sea. And if you deployed an ASBM onboard a surface ship or submarine – as China reportedly may be planning on? Then you’d have even fewer places to hide that were out of range.
Obviously, these weapons aren’t infallible or invincible – no weapon is. Even if you have a fancy missile with a long range, you still need to find and fix your target before you can engage it, and the oceans are vast. But technology is improving on that front as well, especially when it comes to space-based sensors. What this all adds up to is a much harder time for large surface fleets in a major war at sea. While war on the ocean’s surface isn’t going anywhere, its certainly undergoing a rethink.
The carrier requires the biggest rethink in light of these changes, seeing that for any nation that possesses them (like the United States which possesses eleven – more than any other carrier possessing country), is going to be the largest and most conspicuous target on the water. If you do lose one, you stand to lose – in the case of a Nimitz-class – upwards of over 5000 officers and crew and as many as ninety aircraft and helicopters on top of the nearly 10 billion USD carrier itself. While the carrier will still have defenses both on board and in its accompanying battle group, as mentioned before those defenses are less certain in the face of technological developments and also potentially with sheer numbers. An AEGIS missile-defense system may be good, but if you keep firing enough relatively cheap anti-ship missiles at a group of ships, sooner or later one will get through (or the defender will just potentially run out of ammo first).
Again, carriers aren’t completely obsolete. Having a mobile platform capable of launching and retrieving both fixed-wing and rotary-wing aircraft at sea is still useful. Not every potential adversary in the future will have the advanced anti-ship capabilities that some of the most sophisticated militaries in the world are developing or even marketing. There’s still a number of countries around the world that see value in having carriers – including China, which has a third on the way with a fourth possibly in the works. However, maybe like how most other countries in the world that have carriers only have one, two, or at most a handful, we don’t need ten or twelve. It’s an asset that is useful in some situations, but not in all situations. I can’t say for sure how many carriers we should have, but I can say we definitely don’t need as many as we have now and that the final number should ultimately be based on the scenarios we see as most likely and the carrier’s actual role in them.
The few carriers that you’ll hang onto don’t have to be as big as a massive Nimitz or Ford-class “supercarrier” either. Take for example the French Charles de Gaulle-class nuclear-powered aircraft carrier – the only other currently operational conventional “flattop” carrier not in U.S. Navy service. Though at full load it is less than half the tonnage of a Nimitz class carrier, it still carries an air wing of up to 40 aircraft, including multirole fighters, support helicopters, airborne early warning and control aircraft, and more. It does all this with less than half the compliment of a Nimitz class. In a much-reduced role for carriers for the U.S. Navy, several of this size would still go a long way. And this is before we even go down the rabbit hole of STOBAR and STOL carriers – which most other countries have, but I just don’t have time to get into right now. Basically, you got proven options to go smaller and fewer with.
The bottom line for carriers is that they are not obsolete, but their application will become more limited and focused. One way or another, they’re going to have to operate in more permissive environments – either in warzones where extensive anti-ship threats are less pervasive, or in warzones where the anti-ship threat from all domains has been degraded enough to allow them to come in and support the forces that are already doing battle. Carriers still have a use, but more and bigger is not the way forward. The way forward is fewer, smaller, and more smartly used.
“Haha Missile Go ‘Woosh’”
The Navy doesn’t appear to be blind to the changing landscape in maritime warfare, which is why it’s been pushing its concept of Distributed Maritime Operations (DMO). As with most military concepts, a lot of it is pedantic and inscrutable, but the basic idea of DMO is to spread ships out further rather than concentrating them in easier to find and target groups – keeping them connected and coordinated as they do so. The idea is to create targeting problems for an enemy with a large – but not infinite – number of long-range missiles of various types; to make it harder to find and fix targets and make it more difficult for them to choose where to utilize finite resources and munitions.
This is a good first step, but the Navy is doing this while still clinging to the concept of the carrier as it continues to forge ahead with the new Ford-class to replace the Nimitz (which is just as large and has been rife with problems throughout development as all recent Navy ships have been). Meanwhile, the Navy continues to debate with itself and Congress just how many ships it should have (or how many it can really afford instead of giving us all health care and forgiving my student loans – FORGIVE MY FUCKING STUDENT LOANS, JOE).
This brings us to the second half of why fewer and smaller carriers are better – aside from them just becoming more vulnerable targets that offer an adversary a lot of gain from their destruction while offering their operator less and less utility. By having fewer and smaller carriers, you free up a vast amount of resources to put into areas where you get more bang for your naval buck (or send some of that money back to us peasants to build roads, schools, hospitals, etc. but what do I know I’m just a dumb socialist).
Basically, if modern naval warfare is a glorified missile duel, you’re going to want more missile slingers, and right now carriers are taking up resources that could not only be freed up for missile-launching ships but would get more value per ship if you chose to focus on that. You could buy a larger number of smaller ships like frigates and destroyers that present a harder to find target but still have considerable firepower. This applies not just to surface ships, but also missile submarines that could fire land-attack missiles and AShMs as well as torpedoes, and are even more difficult to find in the open ocean (I could go on a whole thing here about anti-submarine warfare but just rest assured that even under the best of conditions ASW is extremely difficult to do; oh, and seeing how ASW is hard to do, maybe if carriers weren’t sucking up so much manpower and resources you could focus on more ASW ships and aircraft)
The aircraft are another part of the equation on why cutting back on carriers gets you more, because not only do you no longer have to worry about the carrier but then also about supporting the numerous aircraft that it carries with munitions, fuel, maintenance, etc. Again, that’s resources you can divert elsewhere for more effectiveness (or again, back to actually trying to improve civil society somewhat). If your carrier is so vulnerable that moving close enough to an operational area to deploy its aircraft poses too much of a risk to the carrier, then maybe you’re better off hitting whatever you would have hit with aircraft with missiles delivered by ship, land-based launchers, or long-range bombers and other aircraft that can carry missiles to a stand-off distance and then fire them and turn right back around. Maybe the aircrews and maintenance crews might be better used in another capacity rather than sailing around on an airstrip that is only useful if it risks making itself a gigantic target.
Also, while I’m always the guy who cautions people not to make Skynet real, this is an area where unmanned vehicles could play a critical role. While I’m very much against making drones that can think and operate on their own, I think a more sensible road forward in this area for all domains is “manned-machine teaming,” where you have several unmanned vehicles that respond to the orders of a human or humans in a manned system and share information between the systems. In this case, instead of having a surface action group of three manned warships, you could have one where there’s one manned warship acting as the command ship, with a handful of unmanned ships essentially acting as floating, self-propelled missile launchers. Not only does not having to have crew on board those ships help you cut back on numerous costs and feel the potential loss of a ship less, but you could also send an unmanned ship into areas that would be more of a risk for a ship with personnel on board. I’m never in favor of creating weapons that operate without any human control, but this is an area where they can act as a force multiplier.
Putting An End to “Everywhere and Nowhere”
I don’t want anyone to be under the illusion that if you just got rid of most of the Navy’s carriers and bought a bunch of ships that just fired missiles that everything would be peachy keen with the service. While that would go a long way in pushing the Navy towards what it ought to be, it is only one part of the equation. There are obviously many other issues that the Navy – as the military as a whole – struggles with. I can’t go into all of them here, but I can go into one big issue that has led the Navy to where it is today and that’s it’s the idea at the core of how it currently operates: the obsession with presence.
At the end of the Cold War with the “peace dividend” that was bought and the cutbacks and drawdowns that ensued, the Navy was faced with a difficult choice with how it would structure itself and operate going forward in the post-Cold War world. For a myriad of reasons, the choice that it ultimately made was to prioritize a global presence above all else, rather than an actual ability to fight a war at sea. Former Deputy Secretary of Defense Bob Work lays this out in a piece for the U.S. Naval Institute (and while he immediately loses credibility in my book for referencing Samuel Huntington, he does make some good points). In a more ideologically aware reading of Work’s analysis, presence was seen as critical to demonstrating the Navy’s worth in a post-Cold War world without a major adversary, preserving American influence around the world by constantly being a reminder of American military might, and also potentially even deterring wars from breaking out through the constant presence of substantial military power.
Obviously, this did not work out. Countless wars have broken out since the end of the Cold War (some of them by our own doing) that were not deterred by constant U.S. Navy presence. Likewise, the degree to which the United States holds influence over the world compared to its fleeting moment of hyperpower in the 1990s is debatable. All the Navy has to show for it in return is a service pushed to the limit. A service that, despite being among the largest and best equipped navies in the world, many times seems to be everywhere and nowhere at the same time, jumping back and forth between places like a 90s sitcom character trying to be with two dates at the same restaurant. A service that, despite having several hundred thousand personnel, runs them ragged to the point they’re crashing ships into one another out of exhaustion and poor training. The U.S. Navy may not be to the point of the Russian Navy (yet), but on a long enough timeline without serious change it’s not hard to imagine it getting there.
One of my oft returned to concepts is the idea that empire is actually toxic to a military. Maintaining empire by necessity requires putting pressure and stress on a military that continuously erodes its effectiveness, professional culture, morale, equipment, and more. You see this in the case of the Navy’s focus on presence in the post-Cold War era, scattering its ships to the four corners of the globe, often with a mission no more specific than “to be there.” Now, even as it’s faced with a potentially serious challenger in the form of the ever-growing Chinese PLAN, the Navy still has this presence mindset that hinders it from returning to that original purpose of fighting a war at and from the sea. It just further reinforces that not having an imperial mindset and approach to the rest of the world is not only betters for the soul ideologically, but also sound military sense if you want a more healthy and capable force.
If you’re not constantly focused on having a ship in every single potential crisis zone or place you have an interest throughout the world, when the shit hits the fan and a crisis becomes serious enough to risk escalating into a war, you may actually have ships available with crews that might actually be well rested and know how to do their jobs that can respond to that crisis and be ready to fight. If you’re not focused on presence for the sake of influence, when an ally or partner comes under attack by an aggressor and requests help, you’ll actually have a naval force that is in good enough shape to assist them. Maybe its overly simplistic to me as someone who’s never served in uniform or taken a class at the Naval War College, but maybe also its just hard to wrap your head around these ideas when you’ve been drinking the Kool-Aid your entire career.
As much as I’m sure many on the Naval staff would love a return to the 600 ship Navy of the Cold War, that’s never going to happen even with the most generous of defense budgets under the current system – let alone under the system we’d rather have in place. Accepting that, then the Navy needs to step back from the obsession of being everywhere at once if it wants to be in one or two places when its really needed and then be able to actually engage in combat to a useful end. It needs to accept that it cannot on its own act as a deterrent and that at the end of the day its role is to fight a war when it is called upon to do so.
Semper Fortis (but for real this time)
A navy will remain a crucial component of the military even under a democratic socialist system, if we want to carry out the strategy I outlined in part one and actually military exercise solidarity with other peoples around the globe. A navy is necessary not only to keep hostile forces from the controlling the seas, but to support forces operating on land and in the air. An effective navy carrying out our strategy not only needs to divest of less useful systems and invest in more practical, efficient, and effective ones, but needs to completely reconceptualize what its purpose is. It needs to not only refocus on fighting a war at sea, but rethink the entire reason its fighting a war at sea to begin with. It needs to understand it is doing so not for the sake of its own influence or the influence of a particular country or flag, but to do so in order to play its part in protecting others that are in danger when war erupts. To ensure that the supplies necessary not only to fighting war but maintaining peace and life are able to flow freely.
For centuries, Navies have been seen by empires as critical to guarding the lifelines of capital and imperial power. For ensuring that an unbroken connection was maintained between the imperial core and its various markets and dependencies. That perception must be broken and replaced with a different concept of lifelines. That the Navy is instead responsible for guarding the lifelines that link together working peoples that are dedicated to building freer and more just societies for all who live in them. Lifelines that allow peoples and nations that are working to create a better world for themselves and others to defend one another from forces of reaction and authoritarianism. In this hypothetical better world that I imagine to keep myself from going batshit crazy, navies must play the role of helping to keep empire and fascism at bay, not working as an active agent to facilitate their spread. As with our perception of war in general as leftists, we have to flip the narrative on the Navy. We have to make sure that when warships put to sea, they’re doing so to defend others, not to facilitate their oppression.
Ok, alright, I’m dipping into the purple prose a bit too much now so I think it’s time to wrap this one up as I’m already over 4000 words (constantly setting new personal “bests” with these). In our next installment in this series, we’ll be looking at the Navy’s own private Army – the United States Marine Corps, and hoo boy I hope you’re not too attached to them because I have plans (don’t worry Marines, the plans I have for you are much like my plans for carriers; you’ll still be around, there’ll just be much, MUCH fewer of you). Also, if you thought I forget about amphibious assault ships in my rant on carriers – that’s where I’m gonna cover them. For now, though, anchors aweigh on my end. Until next time, stay safe out there, folks.
#essay#War Takes#War Takes Essay#leftism#leftist#socialism#democratic socialism#international relations#IR#national security#national defense#international security#foreign policy#foreign affairs#military intervention#defense policy#force planning#force development#force structure#US Navy#U.S. navy#United States Navy#war
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Review: Seed of Chucky (2004)
Seed of Chucky (2004)
Rated R for strong horror violence/gore, sexual content and language
<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2023/07/review-seed-of-chucky-2004.html>
Score: 2 out of 5
Seed of Chucky is, without a doubt, the most overtly comedic entry in the Child's Play franchise, specifically serving as writer and now director Don Mancini's take on a John Waters movie, right down to casting Waters himself as a sleazy paparazzo. It's a film full of one-liners, broad gags, gory kills that are often played as the punchlines to jokes, and most importantly, sexual humor, particularly in its depiction of its non-binary main character that is admittedly of its time in some ways but also a lot more well-intentioned than its peers, and holds up better than you might think for a movie made in 2004. This was really the point where Mancini being an openly gay man was no longer merely incidental to the series, but started to directly inform its central themes. In a movie as violent and mean-spirited as a slasher movie about killer dolls, this was the one thing it needed to handle tastefully, and it more or less pulled it off, elevating the film in such a manner that, for all its other faults, I couldn't bring myself to really dislike it.
Unfortunately, it's also a movie that I wished I liked more than I did. It's better than Child's Play 3, I'll give it that, but it's also a movie where you can tell that Mancini, who until this point had only written the films, was a first-time director who was still green around the ears in that position, and that he was far more interested in the doll characters than the human ones. The jokes tend to be hit-or-miss and rely too much on either shock value or self-aware meta humor, its satire of Hollywood was incredibly shallow and made me nostalgic for Scream 3, and most of the human cast was completely forgettable and one-note. Everything connected to the dolls, from the animatronic work to the voice acting to the kills, was top-notch, but they were islands of goodness surrounded by a painfully mediocre horror-comedy.
Set six years after Bride of Chucky, our protagonist is a doll named... well, they go by both "Glen" and "Glenda" (a shout-out to an Ed Wood camp classic) throughout the film and variously use male and female pronouns. I'm gonna go ahead and go with "Glen" and "they/them", since a big part of their arc concerns them figuring out their gender identity, and just as I've used gender-neutral pronouns in past reviews for situations where a character's gender identity is a twist (for instance, in movies where the villain's identity isn't revealed until the end), so too will I use them here. Anyway, we start the film with an English comedian using Glen as part of an "edgy" ventriloquist routine, fully aware that they're actually a living doll and abusing them backstage. When Glen, who knows nothing about where they came from except that they're Japanese (or at least have "Made in Japan" stamped on their wrist), sees a sneak preview on TV for the new horror film Chucky Goes Psycho, based on an urban legend surrounding a pair of dolls that was found around the scene of multiple murders, they think that Chucky and Tiffany are their parents, run off from their abusive owner, and hop on a flight to Hollywood to meet them. There, Glen discovers the Chucky and Tiffany animatronics used in the film and, by reading from the mysterious amulet they've always carried around, imbues the souls of Charles Lee Ray and Tiffany Valentine into them. Brought back to life, Chucky and Tiffany seek to claim human bodies, with Tiffany setting her eyes on the real Jennifer Tilly, who's starring in Chucky Goes Psycho, and Chucky setting his on the musician and aspiring filmmaker Redman, who's making a Biblical epic that Tilly wants the lead role in.
More than any prior film in the series, this is one in which the human characters are almost entirely peripheral. Chucky and Tiffany are credited as themselves on the poster, the latter above the actress who voices her, and they get the most screen time and development out of anybody by far, a job that Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly proved before that they can do and which they pull off once again here. Specifically, their plot, in addition to the usual quest to become human by transferring their souls into others' bodies, concerns their attempts to mold Glen/Glenda in their respective images. Chucky wants them to be his son, specifically one who's as ruthless a killer as he is, while Tiffany, who's trying not to kill anyone anymore (even if she... occasionally relapses), hopes to make them her perfect daughter. Their arguments over their child's gender identity are a proxy for the divide between them overall as people, building on a thread from Bride of Chucky implying that maybe theirs wasn't the true love it seemed at first glance but a toxic relationship that was never going to end well, especially since they never bothered to ask Glen what they thought about the matter. Glen is the closest thing the film has to a real hero, somebody who doesn't fit into the binary boxes that Chucky and Tiffany, both deeply flawed individuals in their own right, try to force them into, and series newcomer Billy Boyd did a great job keeping up with both Dourif and Tilly at conveying a very unusual character. Whenever the dolls are on screen, the film is on fire.
I found myself wishing the film could've just been entirely about them, because when it came to the humans, it absolutely dragged. As good as Tilly was as the voice of Tiffany, her live-action self here feels far more one-dimensional. We're told that she's a diva who mistreats her staff and sleeps with directors for parts, but this only comes through on screen in a few moments, as otherwise Tilly plays "Jennifer Tilly" as just too ditzy to come off as a real asshole. As for Redman, it's clear that he is not an actor by trade outside of making cameo appearances, as he absolutely flounders when he's asked to actually carry scenes as a sleazy filmmaker parody of himself. Supporting characters like Jennifer's beleaguered assistant Joan and her chauffeur Stan are completely wasted, there simply to pad the body count even when it's indicated (in Joan's case especially) that they were shaping up to be more important characters. There was barely any actual horror, to the point that it detracted from the dolls' menace. The satire of showbiz mostly amounts to cheap jabs at Julia Roberts, Britney Spears, and the casting couch, and barely connects to the main plot with the dolls, even though there was a wealth of ideas the filmmakers could've drawn on connecting Glen's quest to figure out their identity with the manner in which sexual minorities and other societal outcasts have historically gravitated to the arts. This was a movie that could've taken place anywhere, with any set of main human characters, and it wouldn't have changed a single important thing about it, such was how they faded into the background. At least the kills were fun, creative, and bloody, including everything from razor-wire decapitations to people's faces getting melted off with both acid and fire, and the fact that I didn't care about the characters made it easier to just appreciate the special effects work and the quality of the doll animatronics.
The Bottom Line
Seed of Chucky is half of a good movie and half of a very forgettable one, and one that I can only recommend to diehard Chucky fans and fans of queer horror, in both cases for the stuff involving the dolls. It's not the worst Chucky movie, but it's not particularly good either.
#seed of chucky#chucky#2004#2004 movies#horror#horror comedy#comedy#horror movies#comedy movies#slasher#slasher movies#supernatural horror#queer horror#brad dourif#jennifer tilly#billy boyd#hannah spearritt#don mancini#john waters#redman
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New Blawgger: What I Listened to in March of 2022
Hello everyone! For my first Blawg, I thought I would share what interesting things I listened to last month, including stuff that I just discovered and stuff that I had entirely forgotten about and had the pleasure of re-listening to. I chose 10 to put here, but I’ve got a complete playlist:
"Raw" – Big Daddy Kane
Big Daddy Kane was one of the MCs to come out of the explosion of hip hop in the late 80s, an era where it felt as if the genre was making decades of progress every few months. Unfortunately, Kane seems to have been forgotten compared to the rappers that came just after him like Nas or Kool G Rap, but his best material holds up today. “Raw” is a cut of classic boom-bap with killer lyricism and wordplay for days.
"Yereyira" – Papito & Iba One
If you recognize this at all, it’s because it was sampled by Death Grips on “Get Got”, but you’d be surprised to find out that it originates from Northwest Africa. In the late 2000s and early 2010s, music was spread throughout the Sahara in a file-sharing network on Nokia cellphones, the most popular of which was compiled on the Music from Saharan Cellphones releases. This track is a Southern US-inspired rap song with possibly one of the most maddeningly catchy choruses I’ve ever heard (in a good way). I can’t speak for what the lyrics are about as I can’t find any translations, but the flows are fantastic, and the performances are filled with undeniable confidence and swagger. Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of this song is how it demonstrates the reincorporation of newer African-descended musical forms into older ones: hip hop is descended from the musical forms of West Africa, and when returned there, it feels completely transformed and revitalized.
"Left Hand Path" – Entombed
And here we get into my new love: Swedish death metal! If your only familiarity with the genre is Cannibal Corpse, then you’re in for a treat: riffs that manage to be melodic, but still sinister with a guitar tone that buzzes like a feral beast. The vocals from a then-17 LG Petrov (RIP) complement the atmosphere perfectly, but the real treat is just how well-structured this track is, every change-up adding some kind of intensity and tension and feeling fresh the whole way through. If you’ve never gotten into extreme music before, this probably isn’t the place to start, but if you want the cream of the crop, here it is.
"Trapped in a Corner" – Death
I hope that y’all have been patient with my metal indulgence in this article, so here’s the last of it. The late great Death have probably one of the most consistently amazing catalogues in all of music, with the album this song is on fitting squarely in the middle of their transition from old-school death metal to a more philosophical, progressive sound. This track has some surprisingly melodic riffs and guitar solos that I would even describe as beautiful (not a word that usually characterizes extreme metal).
"How Come You’re Such a Hit with the Boys, Jane?" – Dolly Mixture
Definitely whiplash from the previous entry, but much more accessible. Dolly Mixture are a deep-cut indie pop group from the first wave of the genre in the early-mid 80s. They never got as much attention as their contemporaries like They Might Be Giants, the Smiths, or even Felt, but they deserve it just as much. This song is a great little cheeky 60s girl group throwback that will win you over with its charm and funny lyricism. The spoken-word segment is the cherry on top – a moment of equal parts satire and snide venom.
"La Vida Mejor" – La Vida Boheme
Something that you’ve seen and will continue to see from me is that I’m a huge fan of non-Western rock – while I feel that the American and UK scenes are somewhat stagnant, there’s far more interesting material coming out of South America, Africa, Eastern Europe, and Asia. This band is from Venezuela, and this song is their hit from the Latin Grammy-nominated album Será, an ambitious politically charged modern indie classic which unfortunately has gotten almost no traction stateside. “La Vida Mejor” is an energetic dance-rock song full of distinctly Latin touches, especially in the energetic horns.
"Kodak Moment" – dltzk
They’ve already gotten a lot of attention in the online electronic underground, but if you haven’t checked them out already, dltzk (pronounced “deletezeek”) is worth doing so. Their songwriting combines a wide variety of very modern influences from emo to hyperpop. This song is a perfect encapsulation of their oeuvre, featuring catchy melodies with warped vocals and glistening keys getting split apart by extreme electronic glitch-noise (and, funnily enough, a sample of the Nintendo 3DS startup sound). The combination of levity and gravity in the lyrics, where a serious discussion of lost time runs into an oddly poignant Sharkboy and Lavagirl quote, perfectly captures the contradictions at the heart of Generation Z: doped up on cheap media, we attempt to find the beating heart at its core, recontextualizing the profane into the sacred and the meaningless into the center of our identity.
"Cellphone Machine" – Yun Head
If you’ve heard the name Yun Head, it’s probably from some…let’s just say less-than-stellar meme rap, but Austin Santiago has recently started to take music much more seriously, first with the Oat album last year, and now with the even-better Forever’s Forecast Demo single. The B-Side is the real draw here, a hyper-dense glitch pop love ballad (?) full of jazz-electronica touches and some hazy-yet-powerful bedroom production. Even though the lyrics are buried underneath layers of fuzz, the musical swells perfectly capture some kind of all-consuming warmth: the only line I can understand is "I can't help myself; he's the most beautiful person" - whether romantic or otherwise, it's a sentiment that the song conveys perfectly. At only 17, Yun has proven himself to be a fantastic producer with potential that I only think he's begun to reach. I'd stay tuned for what he has in store next.
"Congratulations" – The J. Arthur Keenes Band
If there’s a deep, obscure online underground, then the J. Arthur Keenes Band are underrated even there. A one-man Canadian indie project by Dan McLay that’s been putting out albums for over 10 years now, the J. Arthur Keenes Band features some of the best melodies and ingenious chord progressions I’ve heard anywhere, and their Beach Boys-meets chiptune sound is unique. Don’t let the cheerful sound fool you—McLay’s lyrics are dark and introspective (and unfortunately much too relatable). I'm not sure whether the searing sarcasm that runs through this song is directed towards someone else or McLay himself, but the weariness and fear of inadequacy at its core manages to be as terrifying as the music seems uplifting on its surface. Only the indie-pop noise which smothers the track hints at the venom underneath. Compared with the aforementioned "Cellphone Machine", it demonstrates just how versatile of a format lo-fi can be.
"Ceaseless Inexhaustible Child" – Ambrose Akinmusire
It seems as if contemporary jazz is unfairly locked away from the musical mainstream, only discussed by jazz musicians themselves or whenever a jazz musician features on a higher-profile album in a different genre. As such, Ambrose Akinmusire’s 2014 album The Imagined Savior is Far Easier to Paint deserves to be brought out of the shadows and come into the running of not only one of the best jazz albums of the year, but of all time. This song, dedicated to Cyntoia Brown, is tender, passionate, and beautiful beyond words. It’s a meditation on youth and its disappearance, the way that oppression affects marginalized children, and yet how they manage to stay strong in the face of seemingly insurmountable societal devastation. The vocal performance from Ladan Hussein is reminiscent of Nina Simone’s “Little Girl Blue”: melancholic, compassionate, and yet full of hope. Combined with the deeply expressive cries of Akinmusire’s trumpet, and you have an emotional tour-de-force which can wring tears out of even the most hardened hearts.
I’ll be writing about some of my other discoveries in another column called “Rock of Elsewhere” which will focus more on international artists. Stay tuned.
Stefan
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Chapter 391 Breakdown
It’s finally here. After roughly four years, Hunter x Hunter is back in action, and boy, was there action in this chapter. Spoilers follow!
Chapter #391 is called “Clash: Part 2”, an unsurprising title considering the last chapter (released what seems like forever ago) was “Clash: Part 1”. I can only guess how long this Clash sequence will run. The series is no stranger to “part” chapter titles, which can be seen here. However, I would not be surprised if this sequence culminates in a major, all-out battle between the mafia families.
Clash: Part 2 kicks off with residents of Tier 3 reacting to the two soldier deaths caused by Hinrigh’s ability. It seems that, in accordance with Mizaistom’s speech in Chapter 380, the seeds of panic are already being sown, and the unrestrained behavior of mafia underlings is going to cause chaos on the lower decks.
One of the civilians calls for a doctor… Leorio?
For now, it seems that Lynch and Zakuro will be looking for Hisoka, while Hinrigh looks for Morena, using the yet-unnamed black-haired woman as a lead. This is all in line with Onior’s instructions from the previous chapter.
“While you look for Hisoka on Tier 3, kill Morena Prudo, the Hei-Ly boss!”
– ONIOR LONGBAO, CHAPTER 390
We get some nice characterization for Zakuro and Lynch, as well as some expansion on Zakuro’s Nen ability. I do wonder if the time limit on Zakuro’s “blood scouts” means he will recall them early in order to conserve his own blood.
After this, we’re with Hinrigh for the rest of the chapter. He pays off a guard and does some nice detective work in order to figure out where the black-haired woman went. She entered a section of cabins that only has one entry point; as a result, it’s likely being watched by Morena’s followers. In response, Hinrigh decides to track who uses the entryway by means of a cat-cam.
I really hope this kitty isn’t in for a cruel fate.
Moving on, Hinrigh reiterates that the relationship between Tserriednich and Morena is not a good one. This is something that was brought up previously in Chapter 384. Tserriednich is almost completely focused on the Succession War and hasn’t been paying attention to Morena’s coup d’état. He even suggests making his own moves against Morena, and he may even have killed some of her followers after they used the Hei-Ly door.
Hinrigh goes on to make some peculiar statements about the Hei-Ly’s motivations.
The term “relegated to the shadows” was used previously to describe the role “second-liners”, illegitimate children of Kakin royalty who are scarred at birth. Hinrigh’s thoughts seems to be pointing toward a major class upheaval, with “what’s to come” being an attack on the Kakin monarchy. The curious part of this is both Onior and Brocco are also second-liners. Are they simply more loyal to the crown?
Next, we’re introduced to three new characters (yes, Togashi is still introducing new characters): Televares, Quorolle, and Padaille. In typical fashion, these characters are given distinct personalities right out of the gate, while also giving us some context on Morena’s ability.
It’s worth noting that this is not necessarily how Morena’s ability works, only how Quorolle believes (or perhaps, hopes) it does.
I don’t have much to add to the Padaille and Hinrigh fight. It’s another example of how creative Togashi is with abilities in this arc. We get to see how versatile Hinrigh’s ability really is. Padaille’s ability, albeit simple, adds an interesting dynamic to the fight, granting him a pyrrhic victory. Padaille’s death is pretty gruesome, but not distastefully so. It all adds to the drama and horror of the Succession Arc.
After the fight, Televares and Quorolle flee to report back to Morena. Unfortunately for Hinrigh, the fight has drawn the attention of the civilians. Again, we see the mafia conflict sowing seeds of panic on the lower decks. As Hinrigh worries about being held up, he thinks “Misha, I’m counting on you”, and that’s where the chapter ends. Misha could be another animal under Hinrigh’s control or perhaps another member of the Xi-Yu. We’ll just have to wait to find out.
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