after a bad losing streak of my morning clementines being inedible (unripe, weird slime), i finally got a good one! it's my emotional support clementine now. me and The Good Clementine vs this lecture

Dec 29th, Monday 13:51

„We really need to stick to the list this time.“

They had just reached the supermarket in the nearest city, parking the car in a free spot that wasn’t completely snowed in, when Robbe had made that joke. Sander and Jens were both grinning as they collected their jackets to get out.

„Okay? But why wouldn’t we?“ Lucas asked puzzled at the dumb reference, as he handed Jens his gloves he had hold onto for the drive. 

„So last year at our fall-break trip together, Robbe and me sort of didn’t bother to buy a single thing that Amber had asked for.“ 

The grin on Sander’ face almost grew into an expression of cocky proudness. Though it really didn’t helped to clear any confusion of the younger boy in the passenger seat, who followed to step out of the car as well.

„And she was fucking pissed, dude.“ Jens accused, not even trying to hide his amusement away. Even though the girl had been absolutely livid, as she had expected the shopping they had done. Sander had just shrugged it off back then. „She had to go herself later again. I think Aaron and Moyo went with her, not on their free will though.“

„But why?“

Jens had just double checked the driver’s door to be locked, before he turned to face Sander to give an answer. Jens had actually never really asked. He knew Robbe had went with him and that they had gotten to know each other. There was something with a song playing as well, but Jens had forgotten which one, or why it had been important in the first place.

„Well, I, uh, had a certain boy to impress.“ Sander said and it was quite fascinating to see the oldest of them to loose a bit of his cool composure and grow a bit shy instead.

„I assume it had worked?“ Lucas only replied, smiling brightly from Sander to Robbe, who simply nodded, as they still somehow hadn’t moved from their spot on the parking lot.

„Oh definitely. He completely succumbed to my charms.“ 

Ah there it was again. Sander apparently had only slipped briefly, when a smirk graced his lips and he leaned towards his boyfriend to place a kiss on his forehead. Robbe rolled his eyes at that, but didn’t deny the allegation even in the slightest. 

„Adorable. Is that actually the first time you met? You said something about a grocery store.“

Right. Jens almost had actually forgotten that Lucas had come out early on to his two friends and that they apparently had talked hours about their experiences. Jens guessed he knew probably more about their relationship then him. Odd, when Robbe was his best friend.

„The first time Robbe saw me at least.“ Sander wiggled his brows, very much cheery over that fact. „I may or may not have seen him before, when he was with Noor.“

So maybe Jens had been wrong. Lucas certainly didn’t looked like he knew about what had happened before the two boys got together. Neither had Jens talked a lot about that time. It had been so long ago and it felt like a completely different life at that point. There was a little pause between the name dropping and him continuing to explain.

„And then there was Brit of course, who I asked about Noor and Robbe, as she was her closest friend and I obviously had seen her next to him.“

„Sorry, Brit? Who is that.“

It only now dawned on Jens that Sander actually had also been with Brit, for months at that. Which made him acknowledge some other truths about them having been with the same girl. So first of all, ugh. And second of all, how had this never occured to him before? Well, this realisation was absolutely something he’d rather see reburied very very deep in the furthest corner of his brain. Because. No. No. Nonono.

Sander too seemed to have briefly been come to a similar conclusion, as his eyes darted in horror over to Jens, before he cleared his throat and went on.

„That’s a bit complicated.“

Yes, very helpful, Jens thought, as they finally got moving.

„She is, as already mentioned, a good friend of Noor’s and actually goes to our school.“ Jens began, gladly accepting the hand Lucas reached out to him.

„Really? Why haven’t I met her, if you all know her?“ The dutch boy definitely was on a curiousity spree today. Jens guessed they wouldn’t have much luck to ignore this conversation from happening.

„Brit isn’t really part of our group. Like we are alright to give the occasional nod and hello in passing, but since Sander and Robbe became a thing, she kinda had enough of us.“ Jens managed to awkwardly proclaim, very unsure how to word it all. „A bit of a sore spot for Brit with Noor as well, as she still is close to them and us in general. You know that she attends our meetings and is in the group chat and so on.“

„Okay? Couldn’t be more cryptic, huh?“ Lucas teased with a grin on his lips, despite him being left to press on to get his answers. At least someone was having fun here. Jens hated to have to be reminded of it all. It was messy at best.

„So I knew Brit first. We got along really well since we both were in the same class in our first year of secondary school and became a couple for eight or nine months when we were 15, if I remember that right.“ He trailed off their at the end, uncertainty strong in his voice, as he tried to get the timeline right.

„I don’t care if she is your ex, Jens.“

„Well, the thing is that Jana was her best friend for years and therefore we spend a lot of time together as well. The three of us, I mean. Often with Robbe there as well. Only that the last three weeks of our relationship I cheated on Brit with Jana.“

Lucas stopped in his tracks, pulling Jens to a halt while at it. Sander and Robbe quick to join them. They only had reached the entrance to the supermarket so far. This would take forever, if it continued on like this.

„For real? That’s awful.“

„I know. I. I don’t.“ Jens stumbled over his own words. He really didn’t wanted Lucas to think bad of him. He especially didn’t wanted his boyfriend to loose trust in him. It had destroyed his relationship with Jana. It was probably the same reason Jens hadn’t yet let Lucas in on that part of his life. „Uhm, so then I was with Jana for a bit. And we probably could have tried harder, but as everyone knows that hadn’t worked out quite great in the end. Brit in the meantime had met Noor somehow and found a new boyfriend.“

„Who was me.“ Sander confided sheepishly, while he raised his hand, his head ducked low next to Robbe. Jens could never tell if the older boy was actually rueful. He never seemed to have been too invested with Brit anyway. But it was only a guess on his part. The only time he had seen them as a couple had been on their trip to the sea.

„Oh no.“ 

Lucas finally seemed to connect some dots. His mouth hung open, as he regarded every single one of the three boys infront of him. He still hold Jens’s hand. So that was a good sign, right?

„Yup.“ Jens popped the p, slowly collecting his thoughts to bring this topic to an end. It got cold, and they really should get going. „So Sander here kinda cheated on her with Robbe, who to his credit did actually broke it off with Noor a bit earlier. And well, Brit isn’t therefore really fond of sticking around so much, you know.“

„Wow. You are assholes.“ Lucas stated rather dull, yet not without huffing an unamused laugh. „Like okay, my best friend kinda did something similar. Stuff happens. Sucks, but okay. But that poor girl. Twice?“ A unison of nods followed from all of them that had been involved. „Also, first her boyfriend and her best friend. And then her boyfriend with the bestfriend of her ex? I mean. Fuck.“

„Yea, that sums it up quite nicely.“ Robbe quietly agreed.

„Good god.“

„We know.“ Sander confirmed, before they fell into silence. Each of them wallowing in their own thoughts for a little while, before they startled at Robbe’s phone notifying him of a new text.

„Uh, I think we really should head inside, guys. Amber is asking me yet again how long we will need. She also put three exclamation marks after telling us to get everything on the list.“ Robbe summed up, while he presented his phone screen to the little group to read for themselves. Amber definitely wasn’t leaving it to chance. Jens also had to promise to keep check on the other two boys.

Therefore they all finally entered the supermarket, grabbing one of the shopping carts, while Sander read the list outloud for everyone to figure out where to start. It was a long list. But fortunately the warmth already made him feel better.

Lucas came up next to him, when he pushed the cart between the aisles filled to the brim with vegetables and fruits. Sander and Robbe busy to argue what type of tomates they needed.

„I can’t believe you did that.“ His boyfriend said, without any animousity. Instead he shook his head smiling, as he breathed a kiss on Jens’s cheek, before he stepped slightly aside, to grab a bundle of carrots.

„I told you, I was an ass back then.“

„Agreed.“ Lucas affirmed and Jens nodded in turn, busy remembering if Amber had said red or yellow onions. „I’m really glad I got to know you now, though. Honestly.“

__ __ __ tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

Fever Dream: Day 1: Announcement

Fandom: BTS, Stray Kids, Monsta X, Ateez

Genre: Fluff, Hybrid AU

Warning(s): Theres mention of the pandemic in this fic, so if you’re sensitive to that, it’s best not to read.

The air in the empty lobby of the Harding Lodge was thick as the four groups waited for the cars that would bring them to the airport and bring their reprieve from famous life to an end. Behind the reception desk, a single television played the morning news, forgotten as the remaining staff prepared to close up the lodge for the season.

Jungkook stood next to his Acquisitions Manager, Zara Underhill, pushing her wheeled suitcase back and forth absently as they waited, his bushy tail swinging with the movement.

“Girls always pack so much more,” he said, gesturing to his own bag- a lone duffle that rested at their feet.

Zara looked up at Jungkook, her brow arching and her lips curving into a smirk that sent his heart beating in the Fox Hybrid’s chest.

“Tae has two bags and Jimin has three,” she replied. Jungkook’s own lips curved to match.

“Yeah, but Taehyung’s got Tannie with him, Noona. I think two bags are acceptable.”

“And Jimin’s excuse?”

“He’s a fashionista.”

Jungkook beamed as Zara laughed, a full bodied, head-thrown-back laugh. The boys loved making Zara laugh like that, and after a decade, they were quite good at it.

The laughter died as Zara’s work phone rang, a ringtone that told Jungkook it was from BangPD-nim himself. With a soft scratch to Jungkook’s ear to excuse herself, Zara took a few steps away to answer the call.

Jungkook, still smiling, continued to roll Zara’s suitcase absentmindedly. He had absolutely no worries, enjoying the peaceful chatter of his closest friends.

Until Astrin’s phone rang.

And then Suni’s.

And Korra’s.

Once more, Jungkook found his gaze directed at Zara.

She looked...worried.

Without hanging up the phone Zara crossed over to Namjoon and began whispering into his ear, whatever she was telling him, making the leader’s eyes widen with surprise, his ears pointed straight up in the air.

“Suni?” Changkyun pressed gentle fingers against Suni’s elbow as she spoke on the phone, “What’s going on?”

Everyone’s murmuring became frantic as they fed off of the distress of their Managers, the scent of panic becoming apparent, but Astrin cut it all off as she raised the volume of the television up.

“...amid growing cases of the Coronavirus that’s sweeping the World, officials believe a lockdown is the best course of action; Flights in and out of the United States are grounded, and you are advised to stay inside to prevent further spread of theVirus. CDC advises you to remember to wash your hands, and avoid touching your mouth or face...”

Korra tipped her head back, letting out a long suffering sigh.

Zara, finally hanging up the phone, immediately set to texting, instead. It was no surprise to anyone at all that she took charge; she’d been in this business the longest, after all.

“Guess we can cancel those Ubers. Astrin, how much food have you got left over from the Lodge’s winter run? We’ll need to make a list of things we need because we won’t be able to get out to the grocery stores all the time.”

Astrin disappeared into her father’s office, coming back out a few minutes later with a stack of papers in her hands; the most recent kitchen inventory list.

“Looks like we’re mostly set on oats and rice, and the meat can stay in the freezer for a few months. Canned fruits and vegetables are okay, but we need more. We’ll need milk, probably cereal, and lots and lots of snacks, even if I *do*have the key to the vending machines.”

Zara was nodding, jotting things down on the list. “I’ll buy extra supplies for baking so we don’t have a bread shortage. We’ll need suppressants too, if we can get them.” She glanced up at the group when she was done. “Who wants to volunteer to go?”

——

It was unanimously decided that Suni and Zara should be the ones to gather supplies, as well as Jin and Kihyun, as they’d be the most efficient shoppers. The group had decided to divide and conquer, Zara and Jin braving the crowd at Sam’s Club for groceries, while Suni and Kihyun tackle the problem of What the hell to do for the next however many weeks.

They start at the bookstore, despite the expansive library at the Lodge; Namjoon and Zara could spend several days curled up and reading, and so books were a necessity.

Crafts were acquired, as well as copious amounts of art supplies, puzzles and movies, coloring books, comfy blankets, candles, more puzzles, LEGO’s...the cart was filled to the brim in every store they went to. If there was one thing that Suni knew about the Hybrids, it was that they were easily bored.

The pharmacy was the last place Suni and Kihyun stopped, having piled all the other bags into the beat up old shuttle the Lodge used as transport. The shelves were devoid of hand sanitizer and medicine, rows upon rows of over the counter suppressants empty. A quick chat with the Pharmacist proved that the expensive stuff was just as barren.

At a loss, Suni stood in the middle of an aisle, rubbing under her lip. She supposed she could put in a couple calls to get the suppressants from Korea but she wasn’t sure if the Starship would pay for that. Suppressants weren’t necessities,after all.

“I know that face, Master,” Kihyun said, nuzzling his face into the side of Suni’s neck. Absently, her mind still wondering how to get the suppressants, she stroked the base of Kihyun’s soft Feline ear. He purred softly at her, nuzzling further. “There’s no reason to panic, we can live without the suppressants.”

This was true; Bangtan had been going without suppressants for almost three years, and according to Zara there hadn't been any negative connotations from it. And she’d heard from Korra that Seonghwa had never been on them, and Hongjoong was starting to wean himself off of them. Still...

“What if quitting cold turkey hurts you?”

Kihyun warped his arms around Suni, giving a few rough licks to the skin of her neck that made goosebumps erupt.

“We’ll figure it out as we go. Whatever happens, at least we’re all together. That’s all that matters. Now let’s go get Zara and Jin Hyung and get this quarantine party started.”

Suni snorted, allowing Kihyun to drag her out of the pharmacy.

Quarantine Party indeed.

HOLD! WHO GOES THERE? WHY, IS THAT [CATLINA JOHAR] THE [MADAME OF THE HOUSE] OF [ILLASQA]? THEY DO LOOK [ASSERTIVE] FOR A [WOMAN] OF [29] YEARS. DON’T THEY CALL [HER] THE [SAVVY AND PROTECTIVE HARLOT]? I’VE HEARD THEY’RE ALSO [SILVER TONGUED AND VICIOUS] THOUGH. DON’T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT BUT THEY DO LOOK AN AWFUL LOT LIKE [SUMMER BISHIL].

Basic Info

NAME: Catlina Johar

PRONUNCIATION: Cat-Leena Joe-Har

OCCUPATION: Madame of the Nightshade

AGE: 29

PLACE OF ORIGIN: The Red Keep

FAMILY MEMBERS: None known

Physical Description

HEIGHT: 5′2″

HAIIR COLOR: Dark chestnut with some lighter brown highlights

EYE COLOR: Dark brown

GENDER: Female

BUILD: Pete and slim

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES?: None besides a few freckles

ANY HEALTH RELATED ISSUES?: None

Personality

Catlina isn’t a sweet person. She can drip honey from her tongue if that’s what you want but it’ll cost you. Overall, she is someone who isn’t afraid to speak her mind but won’t give you any insight into her past. She does have a bit of an explosive temper but her rage is something she rarely taps into because she knows if she did, the things she’d say would probably land her in prison.

She is, however, extremely loyal to those who have been good to her. Whether that’s a simple favor or someone who has befriended her, you can be sure Catlina Johar will have your back. She is extremely protective of the people who work in her brothel and by extension, the people that work in the tavern. The tavern itself is owned by someone else but they all work together closely.

Additional Info

Catlina runs a tavern and brothel in Illasqa currently, though she was born in the Red Keep. I would love for her to have a few girls and/or guys in her care and business partners. Anything involving the brothel, essentially. As well as rival brothels or establishments too. She’s extremely protective of the girls in her care and wouldn’t let anyone do anything without their consent.

I’d love the Elliot to her Margo. He could be someone who frequents the tavern/brothel or someone who bought it with her. Essentially, he’s her only real friend and the only person other than herself she actually trusts. She would kill for him… and probably has. And he thinks of her as his best friend.

People from her past. She was born on the streets of the Red Keep, her mother was probably a prostitute herself. But an older woman took pity on Cat and took her in, essentially ‘buying’ her from her mother. She was the only person Cat ever saw as a mother but she died when she was a child. Afterwards, Cat lived on the street and probably ran with some bad crowds, fending for herself. She probably made friends enough with some of the prostitutes and convinced them to let her clean up after them or fetch them food and drinks, etc, that they gave her a little closet she could sleep in. She eventually got a job as a serving wench and worked as a prostitute when she was older. But I would love plots from her past, anyone that would have known her back then.

History

She could have ended up in the gutter, in the shit and the muck, in the poorest areas of the Red Keep were it not for her intense desire to not die. Catlina was born without a last name. She was born without a first name until she was given up, just a few days after her birth. Her mother was a prostitute and she was an accident.

Cat was given up to an old woman known around town as Mani who often sold pastries and bread and cakes to the courtesans and clients that visited the Red Door. Her mother had left her in a basket, her only words to the old baker woman were “Please… I can’t. Please take my johar.” The first few years of her life were probably the happiest she could have actually known, given all of the circumstances. The woman was old and growing frail, already into at least her mid-sixties by the time she’d been given Catlina. But she had a heart full of love and a warm home, even if it was really just a room on top of her bakery.

The woman had decided to give Catlina a real name, though she often called her ‘Johar’ as her birth mother did. She taught Catlina how to read and write over the years and some basics that she knew about keeping her business going in the bakery. She often told Cat tales of her own youth and the life she’d led with her husband who had died a few years before. It had been a joyful and full life, even if they’d never had children. And she never told Cat who her mother was, only where she worked. She always said “We’ll talk about this when you’re older.”

But older never came for Cat’s caretaker. She was returning from buying goods from the woman when the bakery was ablaze. The old woman’s body had been burned to an unrecognizable degree and all the magi putting out the fire could tell her was that they hoped she’d died before the inferno took over the home. It seemed the oven had caught the rickety old walls on fire and the rest… was left as cinders. She had once again lost everything and she realized the woman who’d taken care of her was the closest thing she had to a mother.

For weeks, the girl managed to survive on the streets, doing odd chores for various business owners who knew her caretaker. They gave her a few coins, enough for her to buy some bread and fruit and occasionally would let her sleep in their store rooms. It was enough for her, she only ever wanted to survive.

Catlina found herself on the streets during a storm and afterwards, the girl became terribly ill. She remembers falling asleep on the streets and later feeling nothing but warmth. She didn’t know that’s what death would feel like but she was certain she was dying. And perhaps it was Jvala greeting her herself. Welcoming her back into the volcanic earth that she grew.

When she came to, she found it wasn’t Jvala’s warmth welcoming her into the After, but rather someone physical and real and towering and… she was terrified at first. Arvasdarr happened to be the one to find her, broken and sick and cold as she was in the streets. And through whatever hope or goodness or pity he had left in his heart, he took her in and helped her recover. She was with him for a few months at the most, and he’d never quite felt human. She’d asked him very straightforward if he was a dragon. He laughed at her but that was all the answer she needed. Even as a child of just ten years old, she knew he needed his freedom. And he needed to fly free more than anything. And he couldn’t do that looking after a kid. So she went to the place her Mani had mentioned, the Red Door.

No child of ten should have seen the things Catlina saw there. But she begged a few of the girls to give her chores, errands, let her clean, anything, if they’d just let her stay in one of the small store closets. They allowed this little trespass as long as she stayed out of their way. So Catlina went to Arvasdarr and the two parted ways. It was for the best, although he might have been the closest she’d ever find to a father figure.

The years drug on for Catlina, she cleaned, cooked, ran errands, bought groceries, mopped up bodily fluids and even helped the women at the brothel kick drunk men out of their rooms. And she stayed out of sight when she could and out of the way the rest of the time. The women there kicked her a few coins back every time she did them a favor and Catlina began saving more and more of it, buying only as much food as she needed to survive, the rest she stockpiled in order to one day leave the Red Keep.

She had dreams, she wanted a small house somewhere on a beach maybe, and she wanted to live by what she could provide herself. If she found a family along the way, she might be happy to make her own, but all she needed, perhaps, was independence and her own indomitable willpower.

Catlina started servicing the clients too sometime around fifteen or sixteen. She was making more money and paid for a room at the brothel out of her cut. Still, she scrimped and saved, occasionally fighting with one other girl there specifically, but she paid her as little mind as possible. She knew it would solve nothing and get her nowhere near what she wanted.

At eighteen, she left the Red Keep. Her first stop was a three year long stint in East Reach before she finally had enough money saved to book passage and move permanently to Illasqa. She found work there at what was then the Shrieking Clam. But she was motivated and she put in more than her fair share of hard work. On top of taking clients, she did what she could around the tavern and inn to make it function and look better.

She also met Avitej Kumara there. If only she’d known how much her life would change just by meeting him.

The first rule for any whore is to never fall in love. And perhaps she’d broken that rule the moment they’d locked eyes. But she would not realize the extent of the hold he had on her for many years. He was wild then, seemingly untamable. But he’d come often to the Shrieking Clam, it was a favorite haunt of his apparently, and when he’d laid eyes on her, there’d been no one else he wanted to claim.

The next few years were a whirlwind for Catlina. She quickly gained the previous owner of the Shrieking Clam’s favor by being hardworking and having the business tact and savvy that he was looking for. He was aging and wanted someone to take over for him. He trained her on everything she needed to properly manage a brothel and as she stepped further into the role of leadership, the place really started to turn around, and she took less and less clients.

When the man finally retired, Catlina was twenty six. By that point, she only ever took one client when he came around, and she had fixed and rebuilt all of the broken parts of the brothel. She renamed it the Nightshade and slowly, but surely, it had become less and less of a den of debauchery, and more and more a palace of pleasure. If it was any other sort of business, it would be respectable outside of Loqoala, even admired and favored.

But that was Calina Johar’s life. Hard work. The fate she was given overcome by sheer will but the fate she wanted still so far out of reach.

FAR CRY 5 HOLIDAY EXCHANGE FIC

The Family That Cooks Together

Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, John Seed do some brotherly bonding over cooking. This should go well. Cameos of Sibyl Rook and Hope County citizens near the end.

@fadedjacket​

Here’s my gift to you! I really hope you like it. I tried my best to make it as wholesome and happy as possible😊 Happy holidays!!

——————————————————————————————————————

It had only been seven months since the move to Hope County when John came with an invitation. “We’ve been invited to a county social event, and we need to bring a dish!”

Joseph looked up from his books, head tilted in curiosity at his brother’s statement.  He had set up a mini-study upon the kitchen table, much to John’s consternation whenever it was dinner time (“Joseph, I have a library and you have a wonderful space in your room!” “But I can be together with you in this room”).

“Ah, the Rye’s barbecue? Pastor Jerome told me today. So we got a proper invite, hmm? That’s wonderful,” Joseph said, ever placid with a small smile on his face. Jacob had only let out a grunt from his spot on the couch, not even registering what John had said as he kept working on the wooden figurine he was carving.

John held in his disappointment at his surprise being ruined to give a sharp look at Jacob and the wood shaving littering his once-pristine floor. “Could you have done that outside, Jacob? Now I’ll have to clean the floor.”

“But if I was outside, then I wouldn’t be able to hear about the party you and Joseph will be heading to, and what food you two come up with,” Jacob said, a small smirk on his weathered features.

“You’ll be coming too, Jacob. Hope County is a close-knit community, so we should do our best to be friendly,” Joseph said, his brows furrowed.

“Joseph is right. You can’t just be a shut-in at my place and only go out to hunt when it suits you,” John added, lips pursed.

Watch me, Jacob thought, but knew better than to say it and have to deal with Joseph’s disappointed face and John’s worried henpecking. He simply shrugged and went back to carving, pointedly ignoring the stink-eye from John.

John let out a huffy sigh before looking back at Joseph with a smile. “I hope it was alright that I accepted for all of us. The Rye’s seem to be an important family in the county and open to getting to know us better. I’m even going to learn some tips about flying from Nick.” And eventually outshine him, but John didn’t voice that out-loud. Joseph would chide him on the sins of pride and Jacob might burst out laughing, like the first time John mentioned an interest in flying.

“When’s the party?” Joseph said, standing up from the desk.

“Two days, but I’m sure you two will come up with a wonderful dish to bring to the event,” John said with a glowing smile. It faltered a bit as he took his brother’s face: Joseph in surprise and Jacob’s dry scowl. “Was it something I said?”

“There’s no way you’ll be able to whip something up in two days’ time. Do you even know how to cook, John?” Jacob asked. “And don’t shrug your project onto us, since it was you who accepted this invite.”

“Well, how hard can cooking be? And of course I will help out; a simple slip of the tongue. If we put our minds together and work hard, then there’s nothing we cannot achieve!” John said with confidence.

Even Jacob looked impressed. He should be a motivational speaker with that type of confidence and bullshit spewing from his mouth.

Joseph was beaming as he put his hands upon John’s shoulders and bumped heads with his younger brother. “That’s a wonderful attitude to have, John. It will be a wonderful time spent together and with others. You agree, right, Jacob?”

Jacob knew exactly how this was going to play out as he saw John’s beaming, borderline smug face and Joseph’s eyebrow raised as he looked at Jacob with hope. He loved his brothers, but having looked after them when they were children and studying their behaviors and personalities upon finally being reunited gave him an idea about what was about to happen over the course of these two days, and thus began to come up with a backup plan for when shit hit the fan and his brothers needed his help. That’s what older brothers do.

For now, Jacob shrugged and let out a disgruntled sigh. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be in this, but I’ll lend a hand if you need it.”

Joseph and John’s smiles were bright. Not even Jacob could be too disgruntled at them. He would at least see his brother’s happy and get some entertainment from this experience.

“Wonderful! I think this will be a fruitful project to bond. We’ll be ready before the event!” John said with a positive tone.

———————————————————————————————————————

It was no surprise John had given up the following day. The brothers had spent the night looking through websites about what could be a good side for a barbecue. But every time Jacob or Joseph thought they had found a winner, John resolutely shot down every single suggestion. It was evident to both older brothers that the John had been raised with a silver spoon when it came to fine dining. Jacob mused if, had they stayed in Georgia, he would even dare to dine on any Southern fair that wasn’t served up in a five-star restaurant.

“John, you cannot simply shoot down every idea that is suggested. We only have today to prepare a dish for tomorrow’s event. We have to agree on something,” Joseph said with exasperation tinging his voice. Patience was a virtue that Joseph managed well, but John was really trying him at this moment.

“I’m sorry, Joseph, but none of these are good enough! They are all so…unrefined.” John flipped through each page on the kitchen counter, unimpressed with every option he saw.

“John, it’s a barbecue, not a state dinner,” Jacob scoffed. “I don’t think they’ll care much about what they put in their mouths as long as it tastes charred.”

“Well, I want to show these hick—err, country folk, that we have great skills they’ve never seen before. It’s to make a good first impression and take pride in what we can accomplish.”

Oh, John. Pride is the most dangerous sin and you’re practically swimming in it… It took all the willpower Joseph held within him not to snark back, reminding himself that this is his little brother who has been led astray and just needed more subtle guidance.

Joseph put on a placid smile and placed a hand on John’s back, subtly gesturing towards the front door. “You’re right, John. We cannot simply give them a dish. Why don’t you head to the store for some ingredients or homemade sweet tea.”

“Well, sweet tea does sound nice, and buying alcohol wouldn’t be good for baby Rye. But why should I go all the way to the store for a few ingredients for a drink? What about the dish?”

“You leave that to me and Jacob. You have an important task that will help us. I doubt any of these people have tasted homemade, Georgia sweet tea. They will be impressed with the effort and passion you put into creating something from scratch. Will you do that for us?”

The smile and conviction with which Joseph said this lit up John’s face and his blue eyes twinkled at the project his amazing older brother had given him. He went to put on his duster coat and grab his keys, saying with enthusiasm, “Leave it to me, you two! I’ll be back with only the finest ingredients for the best southern sweet tea that Hope County has ever seen!”

“Make sure to get a pound of sugar. None of that Splenda shit, only real and pure cane sugar,” Jacob called. He nodded as John waved a hand in acknowledgement and the younger Seed was out the door.

Once he was sure John was out of hearing distance, Jacob turned to Joseph. His middle brother’s back was to him as he began preparations by digging out a steel pot and a mixing bowl, murmuring to himself.

“That was pretty cold of you, Joe. In another life, you could’ve been the leader of the next Jonestown,” Jacob said.

“I’m not being hurtful. John is simply overwhelmed by this task and I just gave him proper guidance. He’ll make a wonderful sweet tea and this will give me time to create a suitable dish. Now, what type of cheese did she use…“

Joseph took a peek into the refrigerator. “Cheddar and mozzarella. That will have to do.”

“And what are you going to be making?” Jacob asked, genuinely curious as Joseph gathered food supplies with a faraway stare.

“Macaroni and cheese. Faith used to cook a wonderful recipe for the two of us. I can remember some of it, and I figured how difficult can it truly be to recreate?”

Jacob looked skeptical, but decided to avoid any more line of questioning. Joseph’s wife and unborn child, along with their childhood and separation, would only dredge up unhappy memories. Who knows, maybe his old lady showed Joseph a thing or two about cooking.

——————————————————————————————————————

John felt he wasn’t gone for that long. He had run to the closest grocery store and (meager as it was) quickly found some tea leaves and sugar and checked-out. It wasn’t like he followed the road signs either (although, who in Hope County did? When in Rome, as the saying goes), so he must have averaged a speed of 90 MPH for the trip.

It was not, however, fast enough to thwart the catastrophe that took place in his kitchen.

John suspected that something was awry when he stepped through his front door. There was thick black smoke hanging near the ceiling and all of his smoke alarms were going off. Even the one near his bedroom, which he was sure he took the batteries out of, but God worked in mysterious ways.

“Joseph, Jacob?!” The homeowner shouted, making his way toward the kitchen, “What’s going on?! Are you all alri—” He was cut off as he opened the kitchen door. Acrid black smoke poured out to him, and he couldn’t help by cough and gag as it filled his lungs.

“Ah, John,” Joseph, tranquil as ever replied, not bothered by the fact that his clothes where covered in off-white mornay sauce, slightly blackened in some places. “I may have made a mistake somewhere in the recipe.”

“Probably when he tried to melt cheese and flour together,” Jacob said as if nothing was amiss, sitting in his corner carving away at a small soldier figurine. Was he using a wooden spoon as a carving block?! “He kept saying it was the best way to make a beach-a-mal or something, but I don’t think mac n’ cheese should look that black.”

“I’m gone…for 5 minutes,” John said, running his hand down his face, doing his best to keep his wrath in check. “Why did you even try to make macaroni? I don’t think I even have milk in the house or, well, macaroni noodles.”

“I would have thought you would know about making the best of a bad situation, John,” Joseph said. “Besides, we had half-and-half and ziti. It’ll be fine.”

“No, it won’t.” Both younger and older had managed to agree on something for once. Joseph only wished it wasn’t against him.

“I got the ingredients for the sweet tea, but my kitchen looks like the apocalypse ran through!” John said as he began opening windows to let the smoke out. “There’s no way I’ll be able to cook it up tonight when cleaning this kitchen will take an entire day and the party’s tomorrow!”

“Well, we need something for the party,” Joseph said, removing the pot of blackened ziti and flour sauce from the burner. “This looks…edible?”

Jacob and John stared into the pot. After a moment, John spoke up, “I think we need to throw out that pot.”

Jacob grunted in agreement.

“What are we supposed to do then?” Joseph asked. “Bring nothing?”

“Oh my God, who the hell cares?” Jacob said, getting fed up with this stupid party that he didn’t even want to go to. He tossed his completed figurine aside and threw his hands up.

“Language,” Joseph said mildly, sadly looking at his failed meal. Faith and their little angel would be looking down at him with disappointment.

“The invitation clearly states we need to bring a dish!” John snapped, massaging his temples. “I will not be the only one among these hillbil—people to not bring a dish to a barbecue and make a bad impression.”

“John’s right. It wouldn’t be right to be graciously invited, and not deliver a gift to our hosts,” Joseph added, chucking the whole pot into the trash. He sighed and muttered, “Such a waste of food.”

Jacob sighed and looked at the clock as John turned off the alarms and Joseph halfheartedly tried to clean up his mess. It was 6:00. He was sure there was time for his brothers to keep making fuck-ups, but he would rather solve this quickly and efficiently, and just get this over with. “I’ll make the mac n’ cheese. You two get out of here, got get something to eat, and leave this to me.”

“You know how to cook?” John asked. He hadn’t seen his brother touch a pot or pan since they were kids. Joseph also looked surprised, but he seemed more enthusiastic in his brother’s commitment to their culinary cause.

“Who do you think was giving you meals when Old Man Seed was blacked-out drunk and mom locked herself in her room? Also, the army teaches you life skills,” Jacob mumbled. “I got it. No problems.”

“But shouldn’t we should stay and help you?” Joseph asked. “I don’t want you to do this alone.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Joe, but I’d rather you didn’t,” Jacob said. “It’ll be simple. If you guys start chiming in, I’m sure it’ll get FUBAR.”

Joseph still seemed unsure, but John saw this as an opportunity to abscond this hectic responsibility and get his loving, overbearing, catastrophic brother out of his home before he destroyed it. He had already grabbed Joseph by the shoulder and started dragging him out. “Okay Jacob, if you’re sure! Me and Joseph will grab something at the Spread Eagle! I’ll even ask Mary May if we can use her kitchen to make my sweet tea. We’ll grab you a burger!”

Jacob grunted and waved them off. Once he heard his youngest brother’s car peel out of the driveway, he got up from his seat, dusting the wood shavings off his lap, and cracked his back.

“Time to get to work,” he groaned, heading to a door.

John’s basement was more unorganized than Jacob remembered. During the move, instead of tossing out the majority of their old things, Joseph begged Jacob that they keep some of it for keepsakes. Who’d wanna remember our shitty past? But Jacob relented, and now was regretting it. It was a struggle to find any of their old things. He’d have to talk to his youngest brother about putting his toys in order later. Still, he was glad that he found what he was looking for: a green, wooden chest with black letters “U.S.A” emboldened on the top.

Grabbing the chest by the handles on each side, he lugged it up to the kitchen and put it on the dining table. He quickly undid the lock on the front and opened the chest, which was stuffed with piles of opaque, beige cellophane bags.

“Let’s see here…Menu #4 Cheese and Veggie Omelet; only if I want to poison people…Ah, Menu #10 Chili and Macaroni. Perfect. Let’s get this on the tray.”

Grabbing three of the beige bags labeled “MENU #10 Meals Ready-to-Eat (MRE),” he opened them up before grabbing a mess try from his trunk and pouring everything out onto the tray. The contents were more cellophane bags labeled with the contents they contained. He tossed the sides and accessory packets back into his trunk, to save for another rainy day.

“Hmm…Kippered Beef Snacks?” He stopped on one side, observed it, shrugged and opened it up. He began to snack on the jerky. “Alright, let’s get to cooking.”

He grabbed the odd item out in the pack, a green plastic bag known as a flame-less ration heater (FRE) and shoved the three bags of chili and macaroni inside of it. He went over to the sink afterwards and filled up a cup with a little water, and tossed it into the FRE before folding it over. In no time, it started to crackle and puff up as the exothermic reaction began making steam.

“Nice.” Jacob chewed through a piece of kippered beef. After about 20 minutes, the steam stopped escaping the FRE. Jacob carefully opened it and extracted the macaroni packets. Grabbing a knife, he opened the bags and poured them all out onto the tray.

“Huh.” He looked at the product. It was runny and certainly full of chili, but very little cheese. Looking through the contents of the MRE, he saw that he had six packets of “Cheddar with Jalapeno Spread.”          

This’ll work, Jacob thought, ripping open the little packets, and squirting them over his macaroni. He mixed it all together and…it formed into a glue-like paste. Crap.

Jacob looked at the mess on his tray and knew he had to fix it. Looking around the kitchen he had an idea. The old pot that Joseph used today was sitting in the trash, and it clicked in his mind; that’s how he’d thin the mac and cheese! Running to the cabinets, he grabbed another large pot and scrapped the gluey, chili and cheese noodle mixture off of his tray and into the pot before placing it in the sink. He turned the faucet towards his pan and let the water run for 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!

“Perfect.” With a nod of confidence, Jacob turned off the faucet and stirred the pot vigorous. The result was creamy, if somewhat watery, macaroni and cheese with chili. He then set the pot on the semi-blackened stove (burner turned off, of course), threw his mess tray in the dishwasher and moved his trunk back downstairs before his brothers came home.

“Ain’t no one who can complain about this mac n’ cheese.”

———————————————————————————————————————

“It’s obvious they’re complaining about our dish,” John hissed through a pearly-white smile to Joseph and Jacob, glancing at some of the guests who were staring at the meal and discretely edging to a trash bin. “I saw the way Nick Rye shuddered when he caught sight of the mac and cheese. And how about when that Rachel Jessop drank some of my sweet tea? She looked like she had consumed acid!”

“John, please calm down. We are having a pleasant time,” Joseph said, a happy smile as he basked in the sun, holding his plate. He took a bite of the mac and cheese, and after working through his grimace, he swallowed with a calm smile.

When the brothers had gotten home from their dinner-out, John was excited to see the meal that would go with his perfect sweet tea. Mary May did snort a bit when they explained what happened, but she and her dad allowed them to use the kitchen to cook it up, as long as John kept his hands and pick-up lines to himself. Joseph thanked them and kept his brother out of trouble, even striking up pleasant conversation with the newest sheriff’s deputy, who introduced herself as Sibyl Rook. John actually did well on the tea, though Casey and Mary May side-eyed each other when they saw just how much sugar John added to the drink. Overall, it was a nice dinner and they were looking forward to their brother’s efforts.

However, taking one look at the concoction in the stove, they both quietly gave up and headed for bed, smiling through the pain as they congratulated Jacob for his wonderful meal and how impressed everyone would be tomorrow.

Jacob’s response? “They’d better be. They could have had Vomelet if I had been cruel enough.”

The brothers knew the mac and cheese had not been exactly well-received, though Jacob wasn’t offended like his little brother was on his behalf. He secretly got a thrill watching the party-goers look with hidden disgust and confusion, even holding in guffaws as they bravely tried to eat it. However, he did bond with Dutch, Eli and Jerome who, as fellow military veterans, could spot an MRE when they saw one and they had a laugh over the gross meals. Jacob even shared some of the candies he got from the package with Jerome’s young daughter Joy and some other kids, and actually finding himself enjoying the party.

Joseph and John also enjoyed the day despite knowing they had the worst dish, though John was aghast that only some people liked his sweet tea. He was seething when that boor Boshaw had the nerve to say to his face, “Johnny, no offense, but I get the feeling you’re trying to give us all dia-beetus with this drink. Shit’s hurting my teeth. I’ll still drink it, though, so good job on that front.”

His cousin, on the other hand, couldn’t get enough of the stuff and nearly chugged the entire jug. “Don’t listen to Sharky, amigo. Man, this stuff could have gotten the Monkey King through the worst of it. Do you wanna hear about my adventures with the Monkey King?”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I need to speak with Nick about some important matters,” John said hurriedly, and he spent most of the barbecue avoiding his new best friend.

Joseph watched his brothers from the shade of trees, having made sure to talk to everyone at the barbecue, ranging from polite conversation to offering gracious laughter when it came to ribbing the mac and cheese, responding with passive-aggressive “bless your hearts.”  Although the overabundance of social interaction had worn Joseph out, he felt a warmth in his heart to see Jacob’s rare smiles as he talked with Eli and Dutch about survival techniques, and John being the life of the party as he charmed many people and comically avoided Hurk.

“Ready to head home yet?” Joseph turned to the voice, and saw the young woman he spoke with the other night. Sibyl offered a friendly smile as she came next to him. “I’m pretty worn out myself. Just got through getting called a witch by that old hag Mable.”

“Some people have small minds, though it seems you would feel rather warm in that outfit.” Sibyl did have a unique fashion sense for a deputy. “Funeral couture,” as John had dubbed it.

She just shrugged. “Eh, you can put up with anything for the aesthetic. Still, it’s good you’re being received well. I was new here myself and surprised by how friendly everyone here is. It can get a bit smothering.”

“I’m content being anywhere, no matter how I’m received; I’m just happy to see my brothers doing well. We were born and raised in Georgia and had reunited after…painful separations. I felt we needed a fresh start, but deep down I was worried they wouldn’t like it here.”

Sibyl patted Joseph’s shoulders and gave him a wink. “Well, I think you’re all doing fine from the looks of it. Though I’d suggest keeping your brothers away from a kitchen until you get some cooking lessons in. Maybe you can show me some of your cooking sometime.”

Joseph let out a short laugh. “Maybe after some lessons myself. It seems John’s giving me a look of rescue. Perhaps we’ll call this a day.”

After departing from Sibyl, Joseph rounded up his brothers, they said their goodbyes, and retrieved an empty pitcher and a half-eaten Tupperware of watery mac and cheese (Kim Rye happily insisted on them taking home their leftovers).

As they drove away in their car, John said with a semi-content sigh, “Well, that could have been worse.”

“I know, you made a best friend, Johnny. Gonna invite Drubman and Boshaw to your next dinner?” Jacob teased as he drove on.

“Don’t you start! I saw you being Mr. Social with half the county, so you have no right to talk! Joseph, tell him to stop teasing me!”

Joseph simply smiled and looked out the window. May there be many more watery mac and cheese and barbecues to come.

Tips for Traveling With IBS /Crohns Disease

Don't let your IBS symptoms keep you from seeing the world or visiting relatives. With planning and perseverance, you can have a wonderful vacation. Visions of vacations dance in many heads at this time of year. But if you're one of the estimated 58 million people in the U.S. with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), the idea may sound torturous. It's bad enough to worry about recurring symptoms of bloating, gas, stomach cramping, constipation, or diarrhea when in your own hometown. What about when in unfamiliar territory? Plus, your digestive system may be so finicky that any changes in routine may aggravate symptoms. Such worries prevent many people from taking out-of-town trips. In a survey of 1,000 Americans, 28% of respondents with IBS-like symptoms avoided travel at least once in the past year, reports the International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders (IFFGD). Nonetheless, IBS patients need not be deprived of holiday travel. "If it's something that you're really looking forward to doing, by all means, do it," says Nancy Norton, the IFFGD's president and founder. "We talk to people (with IBS) all the time who have been apprehensive about traveling, but they go and let us know they've had a wonderful time."CONTINUE READING BELOW With courage, preparation, and determination, it is possible to explore new places with IBS. Perhaps the trip, if relaxing, could even have a therapeutic effect. Of course the hassles of travel, such as lost luggage, unhappy kids, or a bout of traveler's diarrhea, could work against that. But even then, you may be able to use the same stress management strategies used for daily pressures at home. Stress busters include eating a well-balanced diet appropriate for your IBS, getting enough sleep and exercise, meditation, and doing something enjoyable. Reducing stress may, indeed, be one of the crucial elements to a good retreat. "There's definitely a benefit to taking a vacation, but people need to plan it so that it's not too stressful," says Sheila Crowe, MD, a gastroenterologist and spokeswoman for the American Gastroenterological Association (AGA). "Don't feel like you have to see all the sights in the city. Maybe just enjoy a leisurely breakfast, and then only see two sights instead of four." It's important to do things you want to do rather than things you feel you ought to do, such as visiting everything and everyone, says Crowe. Resist over-planning and leave room for spontaneity. Yet plan enough so that you know there are safe places to go to the bathroom. Here are a few more tips from the experts on how to ease travel with IBS:

Before Your Trip

Choose a destination that you will enjoy. "Anyplace calm and relaxing is probably good," says Edward Blanchard, PhD, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany. He says a frenetic, multicity tour of Europe might be more difficult for IBS patients.Check travel advisories for different parts of the world. This is a smart thing to do even if you don't have IBS. The CDC web site (www.cdc.gov) has a traveler's health section. It contains information about disease risks (such as travelers' diarrhea), vaccinations, and other prophylactics. Make sure to visit the site well before your trip as some immunizations take weeks to become effective.Ask a lot of questions. Knowing the who, what, when, where, and how of your journey can help avert stress and anxiety. Allow enough time to get to places to avoid rushing and to have time to assess a situation. "The less surprised one is, the better," says Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, author of the American Dietetic Association Guide to Better Digestion. "The only surprises should be delightful surprises because you're in a beautiful place, or you discover a fantastic buy on silver." Some questions to ask include: Is there an early check-in for the hotel if I arrive in the morning?Is there a late check-out if I need one?Is there a refrigerator for my own snacks in the hotel?Is there a restaurant on the premises? What is on the menu?Are there grocery stores and restaurants in the area?Will I be able to request special meals in the plane, hotel, or restaurant? Investigate the bathroom situation. Is there a toilet on the bus? Are there designated times when airplane passengers cannot leave their seats? Will I need special coins or to buy toilet paper at certain restrooms? The answers to these questions could help better plan lavatory trips. Some IBS patients request aisle seats rows closest to the bathroom. Others feel more comfortable driving to their destination so they can stop as many times as they want. When driving, or out and about in an unfamiliar place, it may help to know the location of the nearest bathroom. Norton says people have checked the Internet for bathroom diaries and have mapped out the location of large chain bookstores with restrooms. Palm Pilot users have used Vindigo, a high-tech directory service. Learn how to say key words if traveling to a foreign country. Besides knowing how to say 'Where's the bathroom?' it will also help to be able to ask the locals things like: 'Can you make (a dish) without ...' and 'I can't tolerate. ...' You fill in the blanks with your particular food sensitivity or intolerance. This may mean going to a local library, a university, or private companies such as Berlitz for consultation on language, says Bonci.Be up front with your travel companions. The destination may not matter as much if people are honest with tour guides and travel buddies. "People have gone through bus tours of Europe, and they let (guides) know in the very beginning that if they needed to stop for a restroom, they would appreciate it," says Norton, noting that people are usually very understanding.Pack essentials. Bring a carry-on bag with extra clothes, medications, fiber supplements, bottled water, and snacks. You will want all of this with you in case your luggage gets lost and when there are no good food choices in transportation terminals. For emergencies, it will help to have handy your doctor's contact information and possible sites for medical care at your destination.

During Your Trip

Premedicate. For a long trip, it's a good idea for IBS patients with diarrhea to take antidiarrheal medicines such as Imodium or Lomotil if they know they can tolerate it, says Crowe. Some people become too constipated with the drugs. Crowe says IBS patients need to pay attention to their symptoms and to bring their usual medications and fiber supplements. "You want to have them in the plane or train, where you can't purchase these things," she says, noting that some destinations may also not have these drugs readily available. There are travelers, for example, who experience gas with changes in altitude. For these people, Crowe recommends bringing antiflatulents such as Gas-X. Other drugs that might give relief, depending on symptoms, include antacids, prescription antispasmodics (such as Levbid and Bentyl), and laxatives (such as Lactulose and MiraLax). Visit your doctor to find out the appropriate treatment for you. Keep meals as consistent as possible. Try to keep to the same serving amount and to the same number of meals. Many people end up miserable because they don't eat or drink enough, they gorge, or they eat foods that aren't agreeable to their systems. "Somebody might say, 'Hey, I didn't snack because I'm in a hotel room and there's nothing available,'" says Bonci. To this, she offers the following solution: Bring healthy snack foods you can tolerate, such as nuts, crackers, trail mix, a sports bar, or yogurt. They are better options than the fare offered in vending machines and transportation hubs. Watch your food and drink choices. To keep hydrated, opt for bottled water or Gatorade instead of carbonated beverages. It's better to buy liquids and other edibles from a hotel restaurant or grocery store instead of small fruit stands. Americanized guts may not be able to tolerate some foods in these places, says Bonci. If you decide to try a new food, experiment in small amounts, and try only one new thing per day, advises Bonci. However, Norton says vacation isn't a good time for people to experiment. "Stick with foods you're comfortable with," she says. Don't despair if IBS symptoms flare up. "I would invite people to think of vacation as almost like a scientific experiment," says Mary-Joan Gerson, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York. "That gives people a sense of control." She suggests IBS patients ask themselves, 'What kind of IBS person am I?' Then try to learn something from the answers. In addition, Gerson says vacation is the perfect time to experiment with meditation and its healing properties. "If you start a simple type of meditation a week before (vacation), you can shift into that state at a moment's notice, even for 5 minutes somewhere, whether at a beach or pool-side," she says. Bonci recommends different foods, depending on the symptoms. Chamomile tea has an antispasmodic effect for stomach cramping. For constipation, she suggests traveling with fiber supplements or a box of ground or milled flaxseed. The dietary supplement can be sprinkled on salads, cooked vegetables, or cereals. To ease diarrhea, try fruit pectins such as Sure-Jell or Certo. "Fruit pectins are used to make jelly - to make jelly gel - but they also have a wonderful effect of slowing the emptying from the gut," says Bonci. Oatmeal can apparently do the same thing. The good news is that both oatmeal and fruit pectins come in small, easily transportable packets. While on vacation, it is, indeed, important to look out for your personal needs with IBS. After that, just try to take whatever comes your way in stride. Remember, traveling with any ailment takes some effort, but with IBS, it is entirely possible to take an out-of-town journey, and have fun. But make sure you first check in with your doctor for appropriate treatments. Bon voyage! https://crohnsdigest.net/crohns-disease-toiletriestravel/ Read the full article

Breadmaker Baking vs Buying to Lower Food Expenses

Greetings Gothamites! Several weeks ago, I impulsively purchased a Zojirushi Breadmaker, under the ruse it would help lower monthly food expenses. Living in New York City (NYC), most expenses are inflated versus other localities, including groceries, restaurants, and, sadly bars too. First, let’s touch on the conclusion, then my own food-related expenses, which were the partial catalyst that prompted this purchase, and finally we’ll move to the actual cost of homemade breadmaking.

Conclusions First 

Baking bread with a breadmaker at home might help lower monthly food expenses, but a low-cost machine is necessary and your commitment. The Zojirushi Breadmaker is high cost and you're unlikely to meaningfully lower your food expenses quickly or recoup the expense vs. buying. Lower-cost alternatives such as Hamilton Beach, or buying via Goodwill are more frugal options to lower your monthly food bill. Like most New Yorkers, you're probably constantly constrained for time, so your best option may be simply buying the damn loaf. My Food & Restaurant Expenses Are Disgustingly High The simple truth is, our monthly food and restaurant expenses are disgustingly high, even by New York standards. For July 2018, food and dining expenses for our household were $2,418.63, or 26% of the total, according to our Mint.com data. It was the second-largest expense category coming in just behind the home at 33%. Within that food and restaurant expense category 63% was allocated towards restaurants and bars! There’s nothing frugal about that spending. But, what can I do about it? This is NYC, it’s expensive, right? Print  CSV  Excel  Copy   Enter the Breadmaker, the Solver of All Food-Expense Related Problems One fine rain-soaked commute into work via the wonderful NYC subway, I was drowning out the background noise of a mother yelling at her children and another young man kind enough to introduce everyone to reggaeton, listening to a ChooseFI podcast. I believe it was episode 007 (America’s Food Obsession | How To Crush Your Grocery Bill) wherein partway through commenting on food preparation at home somewhat they nonchalantly mentioned using a breadmaker, at a cost of $0.18 per loaf! This planted the seed. What an excellent way to lower monthly food expenses! On the commute home my obsessive-compulsive persona was frantically pondering if a breadmaker would help lower monthly food expenses. It appealed to me, and why not? At $0.18 per loaf it was cheap relative to buying from the local grocery that could cost $2.00-3.00 for bargain-priced options, but in practice, over $5.00 for a whole wheat multigrain. I liked the idea of automation and timesaving elements of using a breadmaker too. To me, optimization is key alongside lowering expenses on my path to financial independence. My partner was receptive to the idea of making bread at home. In fact, more supportive than I anticipated given it could possibly lower monthly food expenses, but more importantly, provide a preservative-free vegan option too. I’ll come back to this later. So Why the Zojirushi Breadmaker? Ultimately, we chose to purchase the Zojirushi Breadmaker, which also happened to be about the most expensive option ($$$$). I liked the fact that it provided a heating element at the top of the machine which provides a more even browning versus alternative breadmakers. Perhaps more importantly, it also bakes a two-pound loaf that is similar in size and shape to store-bought bread. The runner-up was the Breville Custom Loaf Bread Maker, also fairly expensive ($$$), but with the added automated fruit and nut dispenser. Beyond that, lower price point alternatives that were intriguing included the Cuisinart Convection Bread Maker ($$) that utilizes convection heating technology and the more budget-friendly Hamilton Beach ($). Honestly, for the more budget-conscious consumer who may want to simply test the Kool-Aid first, your best bet may be purchasing a used breadmaker via your local Goodwill store, Craigslist or eBay. I get the distinct impression most breadmakers purchased new are often regifted or left off at their local Goodwill. But, if breadmaking is so inexpensive and healthier, why are people dumping their breadmakers? Look, like starting anything from scratch, including breadmaking, it takes some commitment and diligence to achieve the end result. Using a breadmaker at home is no different. When you dig into the actual cost and effort associated with homemade breadmaking it is more expensive than we initially anticipated as we’ll touch on next. The Vegan Low Carb Criteria Conundrum There are two key criteria to our homemade bread recipe; 1) it needs to be vegan and 2) also low carb. Here’s where opposites attract I suppose. Myself, I try to generally limit carb intake, which lends itself to a protein-rich diet and I was previously not a big bread consumer as a result. My partner, on the other hand, is at the opposite end of this spectrum. Vegan. Engaging the help of Google, I was able to find a proper recipe wherein our universes overlapped. The recipe for low carb vegan bread below was derived from Gabi's World-Famous Bread, but modified with added stevia and salt for taste. It is vegan and at around 3.4 net carbs per slice, passes as low carb too. Low Carb Vegan Bread Recipe – 2lb Loaf Begin with adding yeast plus agave syrup (or sugar) and stevia to the bottom of your breadmaker. Pour warm water (90-100°F) over and then give it a few minutes to see if the mixture is bubbling (reacting); this is proofing. Concurrently, in a separate bowl, mix your dry ingredients. Once the wet mixture is proofed, add olive oil, then add your dry ingredient mixture to the breadmaker. Set it and forget it after that, the breadmaker will take it the rest of the way! Ingredients Measure Units Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2 Sugar or Agave tsp 1 Olive Oil Tbsp 6 Baking Powder tsp 3 Salt tsp 3 Stevia pks 10 Vital Wheat Gluten Flour cups 2 Oat Flour cups 1/2 Soy Flour cups 1 1/2 Flaxseed Meal cups 1/2 Wheat Bran Unprocessed cups 1/2 Water cups 2 1/4 For our initial foray into breadmaking, we purchased a limited amount of ingredients via Amazon. We were able to buy small packages of dry yeast, baking powder, vital wheat gluten flour, oat flour, soy flour, flaxseed meal and wheat bran unprocessed. Other items we previously had on hand or bought from Costco. There would be no economies of scale with this initial venture! More excited than a college student comped a free drink, we hurriedly mixed the ingredients upon arrival and tossed them into the new Zojirushi Breadmaker. Pressing the start button after closing the machine, we looked with anticipation pondering what would happen next. Not much, in fact. Breadmaking is boring, and it was several minutes before the machine proceeded to do anything. The whole process takes several hours and we moved on to other matters; this was the optimization we were paying for, right? After about three hours the process was complete. What came out (based on half the ingredients listed above for a one-pound loaf, sans the stevia and about half the amount of salt), was a Franken-Loaf looking hunk of bread. It had knots characteristic of those you’d see on a disfigured tree limb and wouldn’t pass for something in the discount bin of your local grocery. It was pigeon food! The taste, that’s what matters, I told myself. After cooling, we cut some slices and bite into the still-warm bread; cardboard. Was it worth eating cardboard to lower monthly food expenses? Our next experiment turned out markedly better, with added sweetener in the form of stevia plus about 50% more salt than the original recipe called for. This made for a notable improvement in the taste that was similar to store-bought bread. After finding a palatable recipe that worked, like any individual on their path to financial independence, I wanted to dig into lower the cost. Hindsight 20/20, this should have been the first step before even purchasing the Zojirushi Breadmaker! Only a New Yorker Can Make an $8.00 Loaf of Bread at Home Leave it up to a New Yorker to figure out a way to make at homemade bread at $8.00 per loaf. And, no, it does not have avocados on it or truffle oil in it! After scouring Google a bit more, I was able to find a local place called Bakers Authority that sells most of the items I needed for our low carb vegan bread recipe. Here I was able to purchase semi-bulk sizes of key ingredients including vital wheat gluten and soy flours, among other items. Purchasing in five-pound bags from here was notably cheaper than Amazon. It is worth noting, that costs could be reduced by purchasing 50-pound bags of select items that have extended shelf lives (such as wheat gluten where the cost per pound could be -40% less!). So, how do we arrive at our $8.00 per loaf cost for homemade bread? Let’s take a step back to your microeconomics class of yesteryear. Remember your production cost formulas of total costs equals fixed plus variable costs? That’s okay, neither do I most of the time. But, in essence, that’s one of the key costs we’re concerned with when considering the expense of breadmaking at home. We have our variable costs including our ingredients, energy and labor, plus our fixed cost, the breadmaker. For simplicity of our analysis I’ve excluded labor, but your time (labor) is something to be mindful of! The closest substitute product for our low carb vegan bread recipe comes in at around $8-10 per loaf. The table below breaks down the variable cost components for the recipe based on most of the ingredients purchased from Bakers Authority and Costco. Electricity data was pulled from our Wemo (assumes $0.275 per kWh, about the monthly average thus far for NYC in 2018). The graph following provides a breakeven of how many loaves we’d need to bake at home before breaking even with store-bought substitutes at $8.00 per loaf for low vegan low carb and $2.25 for plain white bread. Ingredients Measure Units Cost per Loaf Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2                0.20 Sugar or Agave tsp 1                0.07 Olive Oil Tbsp 6                0.82 Baking Powder tsp 3                0.10 Salt tsp 3                0.03 Stevia pks 10                0.39 Vital Wheat Gluten Flour cups 2                2.27 Oat Flour cups  1/2                0.33 Soy Flour cups 1 1/2                1.32 Flaxseed Meal cups  1/2                0.53 Wheat Bran Unprocessed cups  1/2                0.17 Water cups 2 1/4                0.00 Electricity kWh 0.35                0.10 Cost per Loaf Total                6.32 The variable cost of making a two-pound loaf of low carb vegan bread is about $6.32. Add another $1.68 per loaf to account for the fixed cost of the breadmaker assuming 191 loaves baked (the breakeven assuming a ~$320 breadmaker cost), and your total unit cost per loaf is now $8.00. Not so cheap, right? It is also worth noting, due to the Zojirushi's high upfront (fixed) cost, even in the event you baked 300 loaves at home, that last loaf would only save you about $0.61 versus buying. Under a different scenario if one were to make homemade white bread with the Zojirushi, the variable cost component is significantly less. Based on the recipe below with ingredients purchased from Costco, the variable cost is about $0.61 per loaf, with the fixed cost estimated at $1.64 (195 loaf breakeven), bringing the total unit cost to $2.25. Baking beyond the 195 loaves one would actually start to save a small amount per loaf versus buying. It is worth noting the disparity if an individual had purchased the lower fixed cost Hamilton Beach breadmaker. At only 37 loaves made with the Hamilton Beach of plain white bread, you're already at breakeven versus buying a low priced alternative at the grocery (assuming a ~$60 breadmaker cost for this analysis) Contrast that with the higher cost Zojirushi wherein you're not at breakeven until 195 loaves! Ingredients Measure Units Cost per Loaf Dry Yeast - Rapid tsp (or 2 pks) 4 1/2                0.20 Sugar Tbsp 4                0.06 Vegetable Oil Tbsp 8                0.19 Salt tsp 3                0.02 White Flour cups 6                0.04 Water cups 2 1/4                0.00 Electricity kWh  0.35                0.10 Cost per Loaf Total                0.61 Does Homemade Breadmaking Save Money? Time Will Tell It remains to be seen if my impulsive purchase of the Zojirushi Breadmaker will help lower monthly food expenses. At $8.00 per loaf, on the surface, this seems unlikely. However, taking a step back to your microeconomics class, perhaps you recall substitute goods? Ultimately, our goal is to lower our food expenses in NYC. Previously, maintaining a low carb high protein diet wasn’t the cheapest option. A homemade meal of baked organic chicken and brussels may cost $4-5 per serving (still significantly cheaper than buying out). While the $8.00 homemade bread is expensive, spread out over eight sandwiches (~16 slices per loaf), plus the cost of meats and condiments, the cost of per serving is likely $2-3. At this time, I don’t have an answer for you if the breadmaker will help lower our monthly food expenses here in NYC. It will take time and commitment, like most things on the path to financial independence. Six months down the road if we are still committed breadmakers, there are incremental options we can use to lower costs and improve optimization. We can buy bulk 50-pound bags of key ingredients with long shelf lives lowering several variable costs by as much as 40%. Periodically we can also pre-mix dry ingredients in canning jars to make the weekly breadmaking process less time consuming during the hectic workweek. Is homemade breadmaking something worth pursuing yourself? There are a number of positives and negatives with the process. You may be able to lower your costs if you consume a significant amount of bread in your family. But be mindful, the breakeven with a high-cost Zojirushi Breadmaker could be 3.7 years or longer (assuming ~52 loaves per year). If you buy secondhand or a lower cost breadmaker, you could significantly reduce that payback period and lower your breakeven point. Using the lower price point Hamilton Beach model your breakeven drops to 0.7 years (37 loaves)! Other immeasurable benefits such as the absence of preservatives in homemade bread and perhaps your love of cooking and trying new recipes may be offsetting factors to the hard math associated with breadmaking costs. All of that said, if you’re like most New Yorkers, you’re endlessly busy and constantly time constrained; go buy a damn loaf of bread and call it a day! Read the full article

How To avoid wasting Money At Grocery Stores

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First Lines Meme

RULES: List the first lines of the last ten stories you published updated have scraps written of. Look to see if there are any patterns that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any! Then tag some friends.

Was tagged by @tinacentury , who clearly thought it’d be fun to tag me. Thanks, dudette!!!! XD

Let’s see how this goes, despite may not having all 10 stories published/posted online on my fanfic page yet? I think? Opps. Eh. >.<’

1. Mamoru's Outing with his Little-Odango

“Did she just slam the door in front of me without hesitating?” Mamoru Chiba asked, looking to his little six and a half-year-old daughter in disbelief. He couldn't believe his wife had done that.

2. After Work Routine

"Hello, Good Evening Sir. Welcome to Seven-Eleven. We have our berry sodas and bubble teas on sale. Also, there's a buy one get one half-off sale on any popular soft drink soda brands you buy," The cheerful girl behind the convince store's checkout counter's voice made Mamoru feel more soured than he was.

"Thanks," he mumbled, making a beeline for picking up a red shopping cart and going down an aisle at random.

3. Safe and Sound - Chapter Prologue

"Alright now, that should be everything that your mother had called in this morning," the man explained, placing a few more items into the grocery bags while scanning the list in his hand. "Organic fresh vegetables, fruits, a small sack of jasmine rice, a half pound of Kobe ground beef, one carton of cream milk, one carton of organic milk, and one carton each of brown and white organic eggs." The grocery store owner looked from the brown paper bags, that was filled to the brim with items, to the girl behind the counter. "Is that correct?"  The young girl smiled brightly, bobbing her head in confirmation. "Hai, I think that's everything on my Mama's list, Mr. Hiroshima."

4. Not Yet Published, Finished Being Written and As Not Yet Untitled

“BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!”

Tsukino, Usagi slowly opened her eyes as she forced her head to leave her very comfortable pillow. 'Ugh...I was having such a nice dream...wish it was real...not this time sadly. What the hell is that noise?' she thought a little bitterly to herself.

5. Not Yet Published (Yep, another one not yet finished WIP Story. Heh!)

Pumpkin Spice…the scent of it was growing strong the more it lingered inside the mixing bowl with the other dried ingredients.  Eighteen-year-old Tsukino Usagi’s eyes left the bowl going to the worn pages of the recipe baking cookbook on her kitchen counter covered in post-it notes and paper clipped various worn notes.

6. Not Yet Published and (you guessed it y’all) Still Untitled...

“D-daddy!!! I'm out of juice!!!” Chibi-Usa's voice wailed loudly from her bedroom in the apartment's hallway.

7.  Seeking Love Advice From “Dear Bunny”

"Dear Bunny, Hi, my name is Jun, I am in my first year of high school, I love American Comics like D.C. as well as typical girl mangas, and I am in a bit of a pickle. What should I do with my boyfriend for our first official anniversary, gift wise? Our anniversary is coming up in a month, and it's been maybe a couple of months since he started asking me to go steady with him. I was thinking of getting him comic but the thing is, he has every kind of comic in his comic and manga collection. Please Bunny-san, HELP!!! Sincerely, Jun a.k.a. "Stressed and Frantic"

"Hmm...she sounds like she is definitely in a pickle, especially if it's geek girl and geek boy first love romance," Ami commented, looking over Usagi's shoulder to read the email on the laptop screen.

8. That Girl with the Eyes and Headphones On

“Mamoru, why don't you go outside and just talk to her.” Motoki sighed, shaking his head as he continued to wipe down the counters of the bar in Crown Arcade. His best friend looking up from staring outside the windows where his eyes were attentively staring...waiting for someone.

9. Denial of the Soba Noodles

“Mmmm, that smell delicious. Is that garlic I smell sizzling on that grill Makoto?” Motoki asked, sitting on his couch in the living room, as his nose continued to pick up the scent of garlic with various other spices and the strong smell of onions coming from inside the small kitchen area of his apartment.

10. Christmas With You

“Mamo-Chan, do you want the last slice of dark chocolate double fudge Christmas cake that Mama made?” Usagi asked her boyfriend, holding a Tupperware container as she motioned to the last slice of the rich looking chocolate Christmas cake covered in white icing with various designs of green and red poinsettia flowers.

P a t t e r n s:

1) With Published Story-Drabble #1, I can sometimes see Mamoru as a Father when he is officially being full on Dad-Father to Chibi-Usa in an AU normal world that sometimes he does talk/communicate with her like she’s a little mature adult despite her actual age, etc. And I guess I like it in stories when Mamoru and Chibi-Usa have those moments of just being able to adult-kind of talk bond as parent and child with each other...plus, Usagi would so boot him out of the front door like how her own Mother Ikuko would at times. I could see that in their marriage Crystal Tokyo or AU living wise. XD

2) Published Story-Drabble #2: Trying to write Mamoru when he was cold-grumpy-butt closed off to the world hermit Mamoru in that drabble story...It I found was beyond difficult trying to get into that boy’s head, difficult. I honestly felt I didn’t give him much justice in that story. Did I? Never really sure about that one. As for Usagi and Naru sneaking into that Seven-Eleven, it was inspired by the times when I was in middle school/junior high when my friends Nikki, Amanda, Nicole, Mackenzie, and I would after being dropped off early mornings to the 2-3 min. walk route to school campus by our parentals/or over Amanda’s house spending the night on weekends, would...field trip ourselves secretly together in grrrl anime punk/goth packs together to the closest Mexican Mini-Market Mart or Circle K or Seven Eleven market to stock up on junk and drinks exactly like Naru and Usagi did. Randomly, loudly, cheering like teenage tween girls would at finding favorite soda and snack junk food for midnight snacks at Amanda’s house/sneaking back into her house via bedroom or laundry room window or in the early morning before hour for the school gates to open on weekdays would go down at our middle school...we never got caught/busted. We were that grrrl slick and timed shit down. XD

3) With stories and drabbles finished/published/not yet published posted: Yes...I am a self-admitted foodie, d.i.y. do or die baker and cook...who also loves eating like a foodie and damn well proud of it. Clearly anyone can see that if you see how food, cooking, or baking is written in my stories. I love the idea of Usagi somehow eventually figuring it out and finding her own way in baking/cooking for herself. Her wanting to amaze or show her loved ones she can do it like her own Ikuko-Mama and Makoto-chan can nail cooking and baking. So, sometimes I can’t help it with writing things where it’s Usagi or Makoto cooking or baking together or alone. Or sometimes Ikuko-Mama wanting to go full on Mommy Mama Tsukino on all of her family, her kids friends, anyone who stops by her home or kitchen. Especially with wanting to always feed/fatten up Usagi’s girls the senshi like Hotaru or Mamoru her little girl’s one true love a.k.a. “future son-in-law” because let’s face it...Ikuko-Mama would look at Mamoru and Hotaru-chan and just go, “Mamoru...you need to eat more. Stop eating take out delivery and food mart garbage. I’ll make sure you leave this house with proper home cooked nutritious meals for home. Hotaru sweetie, don’t you eat enough with two wonderful mothers and ahem your ‘papa’ in that mansion? You need some extra meat on those bones. Sit! You’ll be getting seconds on dinner, don’t argue with me. Everyone will be eating at my table, everything!”  Because it’s so Ikuko-Mama. Aren’t everyone’s Mothers like that? I know my Mom is!

I’d love your thoughts/input on this. I’m not sure who to tag back since I’m sure everyone I know who writes fics has probably been already tagged.

I’m annoyed by how challenging it is to eat healthily in college. I don’t even think college is the problem so much as dining halls. Yes, I can make healthy decisions given my options. Yes, I can opt for salads and vegetable soups and fruit. It’s more just my own personal anxieties about dealing with dining halls; sometimes the healthier options require waiting in line and talking to someone who serves the food, which means ordering food in front of random dudes in line, which stresses me out. Sometimes I feel like going with the crowd, and the crowd doesn’t usually try to eat clean. Sometimes I’m in a hurry and pick the quickest thing (usually pizza or a burger). Sometimes I give in to temptation because there’s a ton of unhealthy, steaming hot food waiting in the dining hall at all hours. Even if I do pick healthier entrees, like tofu vegetable stir-fry or something from the deli section with the word ‘salad’ in it, there’s probably plenty of excess salt, oil, etc. that goes into making it. I’m just never sure what I’m getting when I eat dining hall food. I’m really excited for 7 weeks from now, when I’ll have access to a car, a grocery store, a full kitchen, and I’ll be out of the stress of regularly eating/ordering around other people.

I know that I need to work hard these next 7 weeks though. So what’s going to happen from now until I go back home:

- regular weigh-ins. Every Sunday at minimum. More weigh-ins are fine, but Sundays are my regular checkins. I’ll also make sure to weigh-in the last day before I put my scale in storage as a sort of ending point. Also, tracking my food intake on myfitnesspal. 

- making the best of dining hall food. going to fresh foods for breakfast is a trek, but I don’t have to ‘justify the trip’ or ‘get my money’s worth’. It’s okay to just get a bowl of oatmeal with some eggs. try to avoid eating biscuits and sausage for breakfast, pizza and burgers for lunch and dinner, and dessert in the dining hall. These things are okay every once in a while, like a couple times per week, but shouldn’t be part of my ~regular~ routine. going to the dining hall for breakfast, lunch and dinner will help me make sure I don’t overeat because I won’t go super hungry ready to compensate for missing a meal.

- stocking up on snacks in the dorm that are healthy. when I get hungry at like 2 pm between meals and don’t have healthy snacks on hand I’m likely to make unhealthy food choices, whether that means overeating at the dining hall or heading to Auntie Annes or Starbucks and getting sugary, carb-laden junk food. I’m going to go to Target in the near future and buy some fruits and vegetables, some nuts/seeds, and maybe some yogurt or string cheese. Maybe some rice crackers too or something similar. Healthy, relatively low-calorie and light snacks to give me energy and sustenance between classes and meals.

- getting workouts in. I recognize that going for a run and burning 350 calories isn’t going to have a huge impact on my net calorie intake. if I were burning 700+ cals in a workout it might be a different story, but realistically a 3 mile run isn’t going to burn enough calories to make a huge difference. however, it’ll make me feel better, and if it raises my mood and confidence, it’s worth it in its own right. on top of this, I’m likely to eat better when I’m in the swing of working out. plus, burning a few extra calories never hurts, and if I’m getting in better shape, that means I’ll have a stronger heart and lungs, which means day-to-day activities will be less of a stressor on my body. strengthening my legs via running will also make it easier to get into lifting this summer. finally, it’s enjoyable. I like beating old times and competing with myself. plus, I can go to spin and cardio classes to mix things up and achieve the same result: moving, having fun, working up a sweat. I don’t need to workout every day, but a couple runs each week and a class or two on top of that could make a noticeable difference in my life.

- making better choices out. just because me and a carful of friends end up at McDonalds or Cookout doesn’t mean I have to say ‘fuck it’ and order 2,000 calories worth of junk. I can go to McDonalds breakfast and get coffee and a yogurt parfait, or a 4 piece nugget for lunch and toss a granola bar and banana into my bag on the way if that’s not enough. if I’m at cookout, I can spring for a tray but pass on the milkshake. that sort of thing.

-stress management. this means getting a good amount of sleep every night, taking the time to stretch and relax, having fun and enjoying myself, not letting assignments go undone until the last minute when I’m panicked about them, etc. general life habits that could use a little tuning up.

I have 7 weeks left of my freshman year of college. I have to really work hard to bounce back from a rough first semester. The six steps I outlined are enough to get me going in the right direction. I don’t have to be perfect, I just need to make some gradual changes. To summarize: track weight/food, make good decisions in the dining hall, make good decisions eating out, buy and eat healthy snacks, work out, take care of myself.  I might lose 7 pounds in 7 weeks, I might lose 12, I might lose 3. But I’m sure as hell going to work on my habits, and I’m going to be coming back home for the summer ready to head to Trader Joe’s and Mariano’s and the gym and the pool. 

In these next 7 weeks, I have a week of post-spring break readjustment. I’ll work hard but I’ll just be thrilled to be back on campus. Then a week that should be relatively easy in terms of exams, and I’ll be excited to be about to see my mom and sister. Then I come back from my trip and it’s April, and I’ll have 5 fucking weeks left and be shook. Those 4 weeks in April will be tough, and will require a lot of studying. A lot of hours in the library and at Starbucks spent learning material, memorizing terms and definitions, writing papers, preparing for exams. It’ll be a lot. Then week 7 is finals week, and I have two of my three finals the first day. They’ll be done by 2 PM at the latest, and then I’ll have the rest of Monday, all of Tuesday and most of Wednesday to prepare for one lit exam and to pack to go home. All the work for week 7 will be done during the next 6 weeks; week 7 will just be about applying what I know. I’m terrified, I’m excited, and I’m determined. Being on spring break and getting sunburned and dealing with my roommates (who are also some of my closest friends) for 7 straight days with little to no privacy has reminded me that people can be annoying as fuck, but I can deal. I’m tough, I’m strong, I’m worthwhile. and anyone who disagrees can get out of my life. I may have my problems, and I may need to improve in many areas of my life, but I’m doing a lot better than I good be. I have a strong work ethic, a good sense of humor and a good head on my shoulders. I have strong convictions that are backed up and that I can articulate well. I’m an honors student studying important, interesting and meaningful things and I’m in a political club and I write for the school newspaper. I could be doing more but I could also be doing less. I’ll be okay.

That’s all for tn lol that was a hell of a post wow kk <3

Tips for Traveling With IBS /Crohns Disease

Don't let your IBS symptoms keep you from seeing the world or visiting relatives. With planning and perseverance, you can have a wonderful vacation. Visions of vacations dance in many heads at this time of year. But if you're one of the estimated 58 million people in the U.S. with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), the idea may sound torturous. It's bad enough to worry about recurring symptoms of bloating, gas, stomach cramping, constipation, or diarrhea when in your own hometown. What about when in unfamiliar territory? Plus, your digestive system may be so finicky that any changes in routine may aggravate symptoms. Such worries prevent many people from taking out-of-town trips. In a survey of 1,000 Americans, 28% of respondents with IBS-like symptoms avoided travel at least once in the past year, reports the International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders (IFFGD). Nonetheless, IBS patients need not be deprived of holiday travel. "If it's something that you're really looking forward to doing, by all means, do it," says Nancy Norton, the IFFGD's president and founder. "We talk to people (with IBS) all the time who have been apprehensive about traveling, but they go and let us know they've had a wonderful time."CONTINUE READING BELOW With courage, preparation, and determination, it is possible to explore new places with IBS. Perhaps the trip, if relaxing, could even have a therapeutic effect. Of course the hassles of travel, such as lost luggage, unhappy kids, or a bout of traveler's diarrhea, could work against that. But even then, you may be able to use the same stress management strategies used for daily pressures at home. Stress busters include eating a well-balanced diet appropriate for your IBS, getting enough sleep and exercise, meditation, and doing something enjoyable. Reducing stress may, indeed, be one of the crucial elements to a good retreat. "There's definitely a benefit to taking a vacation, but people need to plan it so that it's not too stressful," says Sheila Crowe, MD, a gastroenterologist and spokeswoman for the American Gastroenterological Association (AGA). "Don't feel like you have to see all the sights in the city. Maybe just enjoy a leisurely breakfast, and then only see two sights instead of four." It's important to do things you want to do rather than things you feel you ought to do, such as visiting everything and everyone, says Crowe. Resist over-planning and leave room for spontaneity. Yet plan enough so that you know there are safe places to go to the bathroom. Here are a few more tips from the experts on how to ease travel with IBS:

Before Your Trip

Choose a destination that you will enjoy. "Anyplace calm and relaxing is probably good," says Edward Blanchard, PhD, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Albany. He says a frenetic, multicity tour of Europe might be more difficult for IBS patients.Check travel advisories for different parts of the world. This is a smart thing to do even if you don't have IBS. The CDC web site (www.cdc.gov) has a traveler's health section. It contains information about disease risks (such as travelers' diarrhea), vaccinations, and other prophylactics. Make sure to visit the site well before your trip as some immunizations take weeks to become effective.Ask a lot of questions. Knowing the who, what, when, where, and how of your journey can help avert stress and anxiety. Allow enough time to get to places to avoid rushing and to have time to assess a situation. "The less surprised one is, the better," says Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, author of the American Dietetic Association Guide to Better Digestion. "The only surprises should be delightful surprises because you're in a beautiful place, or you discover a fantastic buy on silver." Some questions to ask include: Is there an early check-in for the hotel if I arrive in the morning?Is there a late check-out if I need one?Is there a refrigerator for my own snacks in the hotel?Is there a restaurant on the premises? What is on the menu?Are there grocery stores and restaurants in the area?Will I be able to request special meals in the plane, hotel, or restaurant? Investigate the bathroom situation. Is there a toilet on the bus? Are there designated times when airplane passengers cannot leave their seats? Will I need special coins or to buy toilet paper at certain restrooms? The answers to these questions could help better plan lavatory trips. Some IBS patients request aisle seats rows closest to the bathroom. Others feel more comfortable driving to their destination so they can stop as many times as they want. When driving, or out and about in an unfamiliar place, it may help to know the location of the nearest bathroom. Norton says people have checked the Internet for bathroom diaries and have mapped out the location of large chain bookstores with restrooms. Palm Pilot users have used Vindigo, a high-tech directory service. Learn how to say key words if traveling to a foreign country. Besides knowing how to say 'Where's the bathroom?' it will also help to be able to ask the locals things like: 'Can you make (a dish) without ...' and 'I can't tolerate. ...' You fill in the blanks with your particular food sensitivity or intolerance. This may mean going to a local library, a university, or private companies such as Berlitz for consultation on language, says Bonci.Be up front with your travel companions. The destination may not matter as much if people are honest with tour guides and travel buddies. "People have gone through bus tours of Europe, and they let (guides) know in the very beginning that if they needed to stop for a restroom, they would appreciate it," says Norton, noting that people are usually very understanding.Pack essentials. Bring a carry-on bag with extra clothes, medications, fiber supplements, bottled water, and snacks. You will want all of this with you in case your luggage gets lost and when there are no good food choices in transportation terminals. For emergencies, it will help to have handy your doctor's contact information and possible sites for medical care at your destination.

During Your Trip

Premedicate. For a long trip, it's a good idea for IBS patients with diarrhea to take antidiarrheal medicines such as Imodium or Lomotil if they know they can tolerate it, says Crowe. Some people become too constipated with the drugs. Crowe says IBS patients need to pay attention to their symptoms and to bring their usual medications and fiber supplements. "You want to have them in the plane or train, where you can't purchase these things," she says, noting that some destinations may also not have these drugs readily available. There are travelers, for example, who experience gas with changes in altitude. For these people, Crowe recommends bringing antiflatulents such as Gas-X. Other drugs that might give relief, depending on symptoms, include antacids, prescription antispasmodics (such as Levbid and Bentyl), and laxatives (such as Lactulose and MiraLax). Visit your doctor to find out the appropriate treatment for you. Keep meals as consistent as possible. Try to keep to the same serving amount and to the same number of meals. Many people end up miserable because they don't eat or drink enough, they gorge, or they eat foods that aren't agreeable to their systems. "Somebody might say, 'Hey, I didn't snack because I'm in a hotel room and there's nothing available,'" says Bonci. To this, she offers the following solution: Bring healthy snack foods you can tolerate, such as nuts, crackers, trail mix, a sports bar, or yogurt. They are better options than the fare offered in vending machines and transportation hubs. Watch your food and drink choices. To keep hydrated, opt for bottled water or Gatorade instead of carbonated beverages. It's better to buy liquids and other edibles from a hotel restaurant or grocery store instead of small fruit stands. Americanized guts may not be able to tolerate some foods in these places, says Bonci. If you decide to try a new food, experiment in small amounts, and try only one new thing per day, advises Bonci. However, Norton says vacation isn't a good time for people to experiment. "Stick with foods you're comfortable with," she says. Don't despair if IBS symptoms flare up. "I would invite people to think of vacation as almost like a scientific experiment," says Mary-Joan Gerson, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York. "That gives people a sense of control." She suggests IBS patients ask themselves, 'What kind of IBS person am I?' Then try to learn something from the answers. In addition, Gerson says vacation is the perfect time to experiment with meditation and its healing properties. "If you start a simple type of meditation a week before (vacation), you can shift into that state at a moment's notice, even for 5 minutes somewhere, whether at a beach or pool-side," she says. Bonci recommends different foods, depending on the symptoms. Chamomile tea has an antispasmodic effect for stomach cramping. For constipation, she suggests traveling with fiber supplements or a box of ground or milled flaxseed. The dietary supplement can be sprinkled on salads, cooked vegetables, or cereals. To ease diarrhea, try fruit pectins such as Sure-Jell or Certo. "Fruit pectins are used to make jelly - to make jelly gel - but they also have a wonderful effect of slowing the emptying from the gut," says Bonci. Oatmeal can apparently do the same thing. The good news is that both oatmeal and fruit pectins come in small, easily transportable packets. While on vacation, it is, indeed, important to look out for your personal needs with IBS. After that, just try to take whatever comes your way in stride. Remember, traveling with any ailment takes some effort, but with IBS, it is entirely possible to take an out-of-town journey, and have fun. But make sure you first check in with your doctor for appropriate treatments. Bon voyage! https://crohnsdigest.net/crohns-disease-toiletriestravel/ Read the full article