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#i should have been working on smth else but--
yuri-is-online · 12 hours
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List of characters that i think smoke a lil weed:
Riddle. He needs to chill the fuck out. I don't think he'd be able to handle smoking though, physically or mentally, so like. Trey should maybe slip him a strawberry tart with some ganja in it
Cater. Let him find the will the live and spiritually high five Morgan freeman or smth idk
Ace and Deuce. Another day, another heart attack cause Yuu got into a situation again
Trey. Partially because we both know damn well how stressed he is on a daily, but mostly because I just want the strict "Rule Following Dorm" to just be chalk full of stoners. Never let them know your next move! 🤙
Ruggie. He deserves it. Weirdly enough, he actually preforms better at his jobs when he's high as balls (this is based on one of my brother's. He can't drive for shit but he can smoke a blunt and then suddenly he turns into a chauffeur???)
Jade. I don't think he would need it or even really feel a desire to do it; he just wanted to know what it felt like the first time he did it, but then Yuu shotgunned him once and now he's much more willing to smoke. Probably makes the best food ever when he's high
Jamil. Look me in my eye and tell me he doesn't need Marijuana like a white mom needs a live laugh love sign. You cant. He can't do it too much though cause whenever he gets high he ends up just. Melting into his floor and stares at the ceiling for the next few hours and he can't do shit.
Kalim. He wants to be included. Also I think he would be a crier cause Lord knows he needs a good sob
Epel. He'll do just about anything if he thinks it'll make him cooler, and in his mind, weed is pretty cool. It is significantly less cool when he starts coughing like he's trying to puke out his organs though.
Vil. I don't really know why, he just would. He wouldn't smoke it though. Probably just eat an edible, and not the normal ones like a brownie or a cookie or some type of sweet, nah. He's going for the peanut butter. "Vil why is your peanut butter green?" "It's made with pistachios" "Ok but why are your eyes so red" "it's windy out here". He's so good at lying through his teeth when it comes to this but come on! He needs a break! Let him do this or he's gonna bite neiges head off!
I dont think Rook would. I don't why for this either, it's just the vibes. Rook is staying sober.
Idia tried it once to see what the hype was about and started choking. He's one if those people who isn't affected by Marijuana so he didn't really do it again. Until those cotton candy vapes came out and then he tried it again.
Lilia. I don't think I have to explain this.
Yuu. They were the one that got everyone else smoking. The probably grow it in their garden and tell people it's mint (also inspired by my brother). They're stressed constantly and making out with their boyfriend doesn't always take that stress away, so why not make out with their boyfriend, but high.
Honorable mention: Sam! He's just cool like that.
Honorable mention: Chen'ya! Cause I feel like he would.
I know nothing about smoking weed because the smell makes me kind of sick so I will take your word for it that this list is accurate. I do know a decent bit about drinking vodka straight from the bottle so allow me to give you my list of people who I think would do that:
Crewel- i think he's a cocktail guy but sometimes he just doesn't have the patience. He also has a big bottle of absinthe for emergencies. It's been getting a work out with all the overblots this year.
Lilia- used to back when he was traveling the world, nowadays he prefers not to so he can set a good example for Silver. Probably sticks to weed since it's more natural
Floyd- I feel like he makes those toxic jungle juice mixes that you can't tell the alcohol content of for "funzies" but then refuses to drink it himself and just drinks it from the bottle.
Epel- again he thinks it makes him look cool. He hates vodka because as a proud citizen of Harveston he strikes me as more of a cider guy but he still assumes he looked cool.
Sebek- he did it on a dare and he hated every second of it.
Ruggie- he does the thing where he gets cheap vodka and puts it through a brita filter to make it better.
Leona- he is too lazy to get himself something better. Do you think he smokes weed or sticks to catnip? And if you asked him that how loud do you think he would laugh before trying to beat your ass?
Yuu- at all times they look like this to me:
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mewtwo24 · 18 days
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You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j
#mdzs#mxtx#i say this not to be critical but because she really does prove how time and again#people want a scapegoat and an easy target to blame#and so much of her work is abt proving how faulty these philosophical absolutes are--nothing is that simple.#literally the arguments made to put everything on wwx (at least for now) appear to be faulty at best#i mean sure sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth but like ;;;;;;;; the kid is just doing his best wtf#everyone out here like WWX IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU except for lwj and i'm just like#1. hes literally like 16 yrs old or smth#2. whether or not he stepped in during the cave scene was kind of a non-question??????#the wens were so clearly going to engage in egregeious violence regardless of the rationalizations that came after#pointing fingers is legitimately pointless and fallacious logic#if mianmian wasnt targeted theres really no guarantee smth similar wouldnt have happened#furthermore working tg and refusing to play by wens' rules was p much the only feasible option#lwj was young and afraid and had lost so much but he still had enough clarity to insist on working tg#i also really love what he said abt suffering bc its just true.#the way he claps back to his uncle by saying that nobody would be spared violence and atrocity#the only choice they had was to try to band tg and mitigate the dmg--basically 'war is hell'#i find it such a stark and lovely contrast to the common perception of others abt him#that lwj stands alone and thinks of no one else; quite the contrary#he's v self-contained and v disciplined but he's not indifferent to suffering or apathetic#i think so much of the natural love that blooms between wwx and lwj is rooted in their mutual desire to do good#wwx wants to help--he loves to see people smile. he would do anything to protect the ppl he loves#lwj is honestly the same--he's just more abt structure and stability#wwx is more spontaneous and more attuned to the people around him#im a little shocked that people werent able to tell lwj was just as obsessed with him#just bc wwx is loud and mischievous about his interest doesnt really???? to me mask the ways lwj is so responsive. also i ????????#still don't understand the mental gymnastics of madame jiang insisting it was all wwx's fault when she literally targeted wen's mistress ->#in retaliation???????????????? all this 'pick your battles what the fuck is wrong with you wwx' and she goes and instigates their wrath??#i mean idk fellas i was just sitting there like 'you could have handled this so many ways and you picked the TNT option. wat.'
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puppyeared · 7 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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hauntingblue · 2 months
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I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs
#momo must be so emotionally confused omg poor child. this guy says he is my father and treats me like his son and also this samurai who has#been acting like my father just died. and now i turned 28 and a dragon and i need to save this island or my shougnate will die. jesus#FUCKING ROB RUCCI!!! I SURE HOPE NOT ONE STRAY ATTACK REACHES THE ROOM FULL OF CP0 AGENTS!!!#now the government is going to invade wano AND TAKE ROBIN!!!!! ROB LUCCI DIEEEE!!!!! AND YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN!!!#now how tf did the heart pirates get there... who can fly on there or did they just tag along on momos tail#the dinosaur head snake???? hello?? qjdhakshsk and it worked.... sanji... 'thats what a brachiosaurus is!' well i do not think so....#wtf sanji.... so much of that wiggly dance he does with the heart eyes has brought him here...#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1053#poor killer man.... why doesnt he cut off the arm kid doesnt have... that should do it right???#jesus.... goodbye kid and law.... hawkins just hitting his head to a wall.... CUT OFF HIS ARM!!! oh no..... another self sacrificing mate..#YEAAHHH THE ARM!!!!! is he gonna take it and give it to kid akdjsksj OH HE TOOK THE STRAW DOLL!!! killer your brain is so huge..#the death card looking JUST like killer.... that was such a slay... they had this one thought out for a while.....#THE MUSIC!!! GOODBYE HAWKINS!!! KILLER OUTSERVED!!!! whats with the cutting of arms this arc.... kid now its your turn to slay (big mom)#episode 1054#sanji having an existential crisis and queen just: WELCOME TO THIS MOMSTER WORLD#having issues with his body transforming doesnt help with the transfem allegations#APOO IS STILL ALIVE???? CUT OFF HIS HEAD!!!!#i was gonna say KINEMON!!! BUT I KNOW ITS THAT FUCKING KANJURO!!!!!! nami drawing the moon on his asscheek akdjsksj#KIKU AND KINEMON ARE ALIVE??? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS THIS IS A TRAP!!! DON'T GIVE ME HOPE!!!#NOOOOOO THE CP0 IS IN ACTION TOO NOOOOOOOOO#they are breathing.... omg.... kiku..... ORICHI DIEEEE!!!!! i knew this couldn't end like this for her... i have been completely bamboozled#kinemon appearing like the first time... just legs.... amazing#how does big mom ikoku inside the castle are we insane... yamato can you like bite off kanjuros head off or smth... finish him off PLEASE#why do they have steel beams in kaido's castle. everything else is wood and stone. who designed this.#bepo being in law's mid episode animation akdjaksns.... thats really his beffo (bff) bepo#big mom being crushed by some beams doesn't sound right... kid should turn into magneto and start bloodbending... or repel her into the sea#episode 1055#episode 1056
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villainsidestep · 2 months
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oh survivor!fawn we are really in it now
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#people keep saying they’re sorry for your loss. Your Loss. that is how they refer to your brothers. how they refer to you.#you have always been one of three. part of the pack. and that has always been fine but now you are alone and you are not You but your loss.#julia says sorry for your loss. ricardo says sorry for your loss. you yell that it should be their loss too. it is everyone’s loss.#they have lost your brothers and now they have lost you too. (fate works in funny ways you think)#at the funeral people offer apologies. offer you flowers. offer you baked goods and stories of how [your loss] saved them or their mom or#their dad’s uncle’s wife’s coworker’s daughter’s friend from childhood or someone else equally unimportant. someone alive.#[I’m sorry for your loss] they all say and you do not say thank you. there is no being thankful for [your loss].#[I’m sorry] says ricardo. you stop listening. [I’m sorry] says julia. you wonder if she said it to the man she punched.#you do not apologize back. you do not let it be [their loss]. it is yours. they have always been yours.#[I’m sorry] says chen . for river and cyrus. the first to use their names with you. to acknowledge them as your brothers. to make them more#than just the pieces of you that have been broken. and you thank him.#we like writing in tags sorry !!!! also at some point the original idea was that any parts of ‘I’m sorry for your loss’#would start distorting and then get blacked out to show like. when u hear smth so much and esp w grief that u just block it out#anyway. survivor!fawn but still factoring in that chen is not afraid to just. Say Things.#esp in v3 I think the ortegas would be even more cautious w fawn out of wanting to not upset them and meanwhile chen is like yeah I’m gonna#just straight up acknowledge ur brothers for u bc I can tell that’s what u need#we are also thinking abt v3!au and fawn being heartbreak but. that’s not for this post obvs#verse: you are the survivor; you carry the guilt
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bahrmp3 · 16 days
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silverislander · 1 month
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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realized my math was wrong for how many credits i need and i need 2 more credits in any elective so i've just been looking through for the funniest classes to take. rn i've found an online walking class. where you walk. but it's an online class. it's worth 2 credits i might do it
#also found that u can take a self defense class for a single credit#there's also a weed science class and honestly i don't know if they're talking abt drugs or like plants but that's funny#there's also a baking class that only meets once a week for like 6 hours into the night ?#wild stuff but they don't have my beloved beekeeping class that i wouldn't've been able to take anyway but it makes me sad#after a lot of thought i've decided to take a poetry class#i like poetry it's fun i think i'll like it#more work for me though i'm taking a lot of classes in the fall and like 3 in the summer but it'll be cool i think and a lot of them#are half a semester classes so it'll be fineee it'll be okay i'll be great and then i'll graduate and then i'll figure smth else out ig#it has been pointed out to me that i don't *have to* go straight into grad school but also i don't think there are any good jobs to get w#just a psych bachelors. i've been considering an online grad school bc i'm like so tired and i don't want to live in dorms and i don't care#for the psych graduate degrees my current school offers :/#ugh whatever it's annoying to think abt anyway today i slept like 10 hours and i just got up a few hours ago but i'm still tired i kinda#want to take a nap but i have school boooo i should be allowed to sleep 16 hours every day but apparently that's not possible without#sacrifices that will ruin my future or whatever idk i think just for me they should make days like 36 hours so i can sleep and get#stuff done i think i deserve that
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cantofworms · 1 year
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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oatbugs · 1 year
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the way my heart sank . lol
#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious#but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her#and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree#so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call#and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated#and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad#and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so#confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not#want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should#but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same#instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and#work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow#idk what else i can do#i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk#i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me#like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w#the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at#me for trying to help . idk#UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me
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prismaticutie · 1 year
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I've been watching a lot of Omega Strikers guide videos lately and the one thing all of them have in common is that every single one of them highlights the importance of "just have fun".
That's something people say all the time, about any game. But there was one guide I watched yesterday, and in addition to giving that tip, also mentioned the importance of not being toxic and blaming your losses on your teammates.
This is genuinely the most helpful tip of all time. Like this guide really grilled into me just how horrible having that toxic mentality is. The full first minute of the video was dedicated to that. He also talked about how being toxic and playing w that mentality actively makes you worse at the game, period. Full stop. And he explained the reasoning for that as well.
I've heard this said and yeah I believe it as well, but this was the first time I'd ever had it thoroughly explained to me. It really put things into perspective for me.
Hoping I can improve at both Omega Strikers and Splatoon by keeping this in mind 👍
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ppulverse · 7 months
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every time i check twitter i find some new level of insanity how do they survive over there
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crownconstellation · 8 months
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name is Still Pending but for now im considering going back to publicly posting like, my actual nickname bc working here for the past 5 months has gotten me to kind of a Neutrality Standpoint w my full first name which has been the biggest thorn in regards to Vibing With My Nickname lately. + i like bell but it just doesn't feel like Meeeeeeee the way my actual nickname does
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extravalgant · 2 years
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title: river break me so i can heal
relationships: player character (the wizard) & duncan grimwater
summary: it had been some time since you had seen his face. and it had been a while since he had tried to kill you.
notes: oookay fair warning. possibly ooc for duncan? but also i sacrificed a bit of that in sake of getting the story across better. i mention this in my ao3 notes but i also think the wizard and duncan parallel each other to an extent... the context is also mentioned at the end notes for what i was thinking throughout this process. but anyways
>> READ ON A03 <<
Without another word, Duncan wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. And it is a hug, alright – just not a very good one. Your nose smashes into his shoulder painfully, and it would almost be enough to break you out of your crying spell, had you not been caught off by the sudden movement. 
This is… the first time you’ve ever gotten a hug. Actual human contact. His touch sends a soft ache spreading through your chest - a sweet warmth that your brain recognizes as affection. Security. The need to make you feel safe. 
It’s the hug of someone who has never hugged before – truly, if you were going to be honest, it was probably one of the worst hugs you have ever experienced; Duncan’s form is awkward, arms just a bit too tight and angled weirdly. 
You realize that he’s hugging you out of his own volition - that he wanted to let you know that he cared about you. And it’s the thought of someone comforting you, rubbing your back (which he is doing, albeit the motions feel stilted), that makes the bubble in your throat grow, chokes your own words out of your mouth, makes you cry even harder. 
Your hands clutch the back of his robes, clenching it between your fists as if he would disappear if you ever let go. You want to say something, hug him back, offer support, but you can’t. Your tongue feels like cotton, and your brain blanks out on the words needed to speak. Just the thought of someone hugging you was enough for another round of tears to leak through, and after everything you’ve been through crumbles in a matter of seconds.
“Run away with me.”
The words are flying out of his mouth before he knows it, before he even has a chance to logically think.
Run away? To where? Duncan wasn’t dumb enough to think that whatever calamity crawls out of the darkest parts of the spiral would simply stop because the Wizard wasn’t going to take care of them.
Even so, he doesn’t take back his words. They hang heavy in the crisp, muggy air of Triton Avenue. A storm rumbles above his head, and the thunder almost serves as a warning; a sign from Raven – to take back what he said or he would regret it. Regret trying to take her champion.
He knows you must feel his heart thudding fast and hard in his chest, arms still wrapped securely around your shoulders. Your face is still tucked in between the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and your hands are still clawing into his robes–it doesn’t hurt, by any means, but he’s caught off guard at how surprisingly.. clingy you are.
He wonders if you heard what he said.
“Did y—”
“I heard you.” You cut him off. Your voice is quiet and soft, but has a rough and scratchy quality to its tone that had been heightened from your crying session. 
There’s another agonizingly slow moment of silence, and in it, Duncan feels the gentle rustle of the wind brush over your figures. He never quite believed Suzie or Artur when they told him that Triton Avenue was cold, but the wind brings a chill that he can’t quite blame necromancy for. 
And when you speak, this coldness sinks further into his stomach.
“I can’t.”
“You can’t?” Duncan furrows his brows. "What do you mean you can't?"
When you pull back away from his chest, the descent is slow–like molasses. You don’t see a point in being discreet as you wipe the remaining tears away from your eyes, for he had seen it all, and sucked in a sharp breath. And when you meet his gaze, your eyes are red-rimmed and bright.
For a moment, the breath catches in his throat.
“I can’t.” You emphasize, this time. Your voice is more even than it was before. It sounded like the Wizard he recognized, and not the one that had been bawling into his robes moments ago. “I have responsibilities.” 
“Are you dumb?” Duncan says, and he can’t amend the way it comes out of his mouth–clunky and harsh, like a hammer striking iron. “It’s killing you! Look at you!”
He grabs your shoulders as he says this, and the touch is almost too much to bear with something like this. 
“I’m aware.” Your voice is bitter as you spit out the reply, but there is no denying the exhaustion in your voice. “I… don’t have a choice.” 
Duncan’s lips press into a thin line. 
“I just can’t.” You repeat, and a watery tone edges your words. “I have duties, I’m… I’m a savior now. There’s no room for what I want and my desires. They wouldn’t let me.” 
“‘They’?” Duncan quirks an eyebrow. 
He sees the way your gaze drifts over his shoulder, eyes glazing as if searching for something off in the distance. He thinks you must have found it, the way your pupils dilate, and stare for a long time.
“I used to think it was just Raven and Spider.” Your voice dips into something quieter, whispy. Like this conversation was just for him.  “There’s something else out there. I’ve never seen it, or heard it, or.. smelled it. I can only… feel it.” 
Duncan takes a chance to glance behind him, following your gaze—he expects to see a figure at least, and it only furthers his confusion about the entire thing. 
It must be his eyes playing tricks on him, because he does see it—a vague shape. A human-like figure.
He blinks and it’s gone.
“As fun as running away sounds,” Your voice brings him back to the present, back to your now neutral expression. “I don’t have a choice. Truly.” 
Really, there are more silences now than you care to admit, and it’s only when you make the decision to stand does he know your final answer. It doesn’t stop you from holding out your hand to help him up from the wet, muddy ground, and it doesn’t stop him from taking it. 
And even when all is said and done, you’re still grasping each other’s hands. Your fingers press against the pulse of his wrist, which beats heartily underneath your touch. 
“We could go somewhere new.” Duncan says. He doesn’t want to admit that he sounds desperate. Lonely. “The spiral is big. We could find some place where they don’t need us. Where no one ever gets the chance to take advantage of us.”
You can’t help the smile that breaks across your face, bleeds into your voice. It sounds too good to be true, even for you. “Oh?” 
“We don’t have to stay wizards. We could even swallow our pride and become pirates!” 
“You love necromancy, Duncan.” You say, and he does. He does. With every bit of his mind, body, and soul. “I’ve heard rumors on the shore that they’ve outlawed all magic. It would kill you.” 
His lip curls. 
“Admittedly, it would kill me, too.” Your hand slowly slips from his. “Even throughout all these years… I’ve come to love magic far too much to let it slip out of my fingers.” 
“...Will you come back?”
Duncan’s voice is far too vulnerable for his liking–it had only been today that he expressed his feelings of ostracization, of needing to feel wanted. He had made his first, real friend and it had been you, the one he had been previously sent to get rid of.
He doesn’t want to see you go if it means there’s a chance you won’t return.
Still, a smile spreads across your face at that question.
“Of course.” You say. “Nothing’s killed me yet—I consider that sign enough that I’m on the right path.”
You pause.
“And I want you to come with me.”
He’s not sure if he heard you right. Either that, or this was your idea of a prank. 
Or you’ve finally lost it.
“Do you hear yourself?” Duncan says, because he finds himself reeling. Of course he wants to join you—but also, are you crazy? The blood is roaring loud in his ears. “This is—this isn’t even my journey to go on!” 
“Who cares?” You reply, and he both hates and loves how flippant you’re being about the entire thing. “I didn’t exactly get the wizarding book of rules when I first got here. We’ll be fine, I think.” 
“I couldn’t even beat you!” 
“To be fair,” You say, and the smile on your face is a little bit too cocky for someone like you—someone meant to uphold the pedestal of light wasn’t meant to look so smug. “No one has been able to beat me yet. I can protect you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 
“I’m not worried about that!” He hisses out, but there is a semblance of an embarrassed flush creeping over his features. “And besides, I can take care of myself!” 
“Then we don’t have any problems.” 
There’s a long moment where he just—stares at you. Like he’s trying to figure out your goal for this, your angle. 
“....Why?” 
He feels conflicted. He feels lost. And most of all, he feels confused. Was one, heartfelt conversation all it took to get on your good side? It’s no wonder why anyone with bad intentions, but a good mask, was able to twist your promises of companionship and turn it into something else.
“...You know me the best.” You say, after a while. The sky rumbles above you once again, the final warning you receive, before a torrent of rain begins to pour down on you both. Your robes are soaked before long, bleeding into darker colors. 
The two of you don’t move. 
“Saving the world gets a bit lonely, too.” You continue on, and he recognizes that look on your face—it had been there at the beginning, when you had shown up unannounced in this field, and sat next to him without another word. 
“You’d say we could start over as friends… but I’m a very busy wizard.” Your smile is sad, this time, when it pulls at your lips. “We’d become strangers before long. A something that was there, but could never happen.” 
“...And you think taking me along a dangerous quest will fix that?” 
He hates how it, once again, comes out of his mouth wrong. He had never been good with dealing on how wonderful it felt to be wanted at someone’s side. 
“I said I’d protect you, didn’t I?” Your face tilts upward, and allows the drizzle to wash over your face. It feels almost holy in nature—your soul feels cleansed. 
“I don’t care what Ambrose thinks. I’m not his student anymore. I don’t care what the Arcanum thinks. They don’t trust me.” 
And when you open your eyes and face him, they open slowly, as if savoring this one singular moment. And the gradual motion of your hand as it reaches up from your side, before holding it out for him to take, is measured. 
You are in no rush. 
“I think I can trust you.” You say, softly. “Don’t you agree?” 
His hand as it slides into yours is cold and wet. But it still makes your heart soar nonetheless. 
“Yeah. You can.”
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plushie-lovey · 9 months
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Looking to order a new plushie in honor of my birthday today
#obviously the plush wont be here in time cause again my birthday is literally right now right this second#but this is a gift I wanna get myself#especially because Im sad today. its been a very mid bday#my fam took me out to lunch but my sis took part of my food cause we always trade some#but it ended up being half ofmy portion so I didn't get to eat a lot of the main course#amd other than that I've done literally everything else I do daily today#like I went to look around the nearby mall which Im at literally every day cause its close to work/is my bus stop#and then went home after an hour because I've already seen literally everything there#and now I get to sit at home on the corner of my bed on my phone. ir maybe draw on my pc#like I do every day of my life#amd Im sure some people will be like “why didn't you do smth different” couldn't because I have tp bus everywhere#amd nobody wanted to wake up or get dressed to go out until 2#then we went to eat. amd by the time we were done it was 4#so too late to travel by bus anywhere interesting cause it'd take an hour n a half/2 hours to arrive at wherever#caus by time we get there we gotta get the bus in an hour or 2 before it stops running for the day#and maybe I should just be grateful fpr a normal day and that I got to spend it with family#but my family sucks but I am appreciative#but this is a milestone birthday#idk if it's selfish t want a little more than the norm or not because of it. my mind is leaning towards yes#but anyways. plushies#idk whatIm getting yet#I want something colorful I think#I'll show pics when I choose/order#viti shoosh
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haxxy · 2 years
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my parents are good, but also give me so many fucking complexes
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