I know I mentioned this a little bit last night with the screenshots. But it really is fascinating seeing Seiroku’s inherent contradictory-seeming nature to certain aspects.

He mocks and says friends and comrades are useless trash to not be worth saving or fighting for. Based on the limited discussion that Seiroku mentions towards Naoe, his band prior to the Obsidian Eight was NOT a good experience for him. 

But as long as they are in a band, those with special powers always get the short end of the stick. Bands are organizations where the weak masses cling to the few strong ones. None of them hesitate to push the hardest jobs onto others while they kick back and offer hollow encouragement. They only force you to carry their hopes and dreams They expect more and more. I’m sure your friends are the same worthless trash not even worth saving.

And....he isn’t entirely wrong, not completely. People DO project their hopes and dreams onto others, we even see it in the series, the same way we see the masses or certain cast members rely on only a handful to be the real fire power. It’s not a particularly STRONG point to the Uesugi because their strength COMES from that connection with one another (although it really is still applicable as the majority looked to Naoe and/or Kuroko to help them/tell them what to do). But we see it with others. Even if it is more positive since its main characters, but it’s still there under the surface. So one can imagine how much Seiroku was put under pressure. It’s like trying to swim while being dragged down. The backlash if something goes wrong, things just become ‘expected’ and no longer praise worthy or the effort acknowledged. The higher and stronger they’re viewed, the deeper the fall. Seiroku clearly had and has no interest in being any sort of motivating figure for others. He just wanted to do his part. Not to mention the hollow words of encouragement and pushing the hardest jobs onto others means he himself likely both observed and experienced that. It leaves a bitter taste when someone offers you fake happiness when they want to see you fail, or make you do everything while they get benefits from it. Aka like every school group project.

But at the same time, Seiroku DOES try to connect with the other members of the Obsidian Eight. It’s not a BAND. It’s a GROUP. And for the most part, they’re all strong. Different levels obviously, but it’s not like in a band with hundreds or thousands of significantly weaker members clinging helplessly to you and projecting onto you. For the hate and disgust and disdain he has for the bushi bands, its not a reflection of Seiroku’s interest in connections. He clearly puts in the effort, especially with Shiro that we’ve seen so far (which is rather hilarious considering Shiro is.....well......Shiro), to be able to have the connection and chat with others. He isn’t a lone wolf type, but he does see a clear divide between the weak and the strong and only wants to be around those who he sees as equals or at least in the strong category.

Now this is less headcanon-y and more just discussion. And all of it is very subjective because summaries only offer so much and I’d rather read the actual translations whenever they eventually come out, especially for what Seiroku himself says. But in regards to chapter 139. It’s mentioned the doors for the eight basically create whatever the members imagine or what they might wish for. An eternal dream so to speak. Although it’s mentioned Seiroku’s is probably his previous life. But I doubt that. More likely, its what Seiroku would have wished for. Or maybe it’s the beginning of it when things were nice before Seiroku became bitter and hateful towards bushi bands. Again, translations will play a lot into this. But it is interesting it is in fighting oni within a band, but a band he’s welcomed in and treated equally. More like how he is in the Obsidian Eight than what he likely was treated like in reality (or in reality once his strength showed itself fully - again dependent). Which really does just show he does WANT connections and a close circle to him, especially if it is Seiroku’s ideal dream. And also his want to play doctor more since he doesn’t get to do that as often anymore.

Something I find interesting is that Bad always has always played a bit of the fool when the Federation is involved. He pretends he doesn't understand things, he pretends furniture is enough to distract him from anything (sometimes it does, but other times he is clearly playing it up), he says he doesn't know how he got into this secret room, etc. He stays as neutral as possible without siding with them.

And for a while that seems to work. They keep using furniture to distract him. They never punish him even when he shows up in a Federation building, because he's just a silly guy and doesn't know how he got here.

But... Someone at the Federation has noticed. And the reason we can know this is because of the survey and the reward.

A lot of people have been given tasks recently, and they have all received the rewards that were offered to them. Everyone except Bad, who got scammed out of his initial reward and instead given a lot of furniture.

BUT! The fact that he was offered the question as a reward in the first place says a lot. It says the Federation knew that it needed to offer him a reward that would be enough to entice him to do the task (like the trident for Philza, and spawn eggs for Forever, etc.), and what reward did they deem suitable for BadBoyHalo? Answers. Answers to absolutely ANYTHING he could ask them.

It was an insane reward to offer, completely disproportionate to the task that was being requested of him. But apparently this was the only reward the lower case Cucurucho, Osito Bimbo, calculated would be enough to motivate Bad to do a task for him. It had to offer something INSANE to convince Bad to work for the Federation.

When he was given the furniture, the book that apologised for the confusion was in upper case. The original Cucurucho saw what was offered and pulled back, going with it's old reliable technique of distracting him with nice furniture instead. After all, Bad is silly, Bad is gullible, give him some shiny furniture and he'll give up on anything.

But that means... Osito Bimbo has not fallen for Bad's ruse. Osito Bimbo didn't even consider offering furniture - the offer was an answer to any question, because Osito Bimbo calculated that was the reward that would get Bad to cooperate.

Just interesting what this could be saying about the Cucuruchos and how they view Bad differently...

everyday I wake up and put on my Valentine's themed heart-shaped glasses for thirteen February, and every night i go to sleep with a Loveybug-esque pep in my step. don't worry

aww anon this is so sweet and I appreciate it SO much!! hang onto those heart-shaped glasses you will need them come wednesday<33(hopefully)

sneak peek for your patience

Chapter Four

i came out to my parents last night 😄

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

PTSD is so stupid saw a jar of biscoff cookie butter at the store and went ha that’s the brand they had in res. (Completely unaffected). Then went home and had a panic attack about it (????)

Me? Going absolutely insane over every single Kanej moment in both the books and the series? It’s more likely than you think

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

long tag ramble below u have been warned

i got back into BG3 to finally end my main run buuuuut i woke up today and decided i'm going to get work DONE and THEN play. let's be responsible for once god damn it.

randomly looked at this account to update my age and holy shit it's been a while since i posted here..........i have a small pile of art i have yet to post but hbhbshdbshbd too lazy

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

i am not cut out 4 dis party girl shit cuz y am i reminiscing abt every single little thing dat happened last night

realised i havent complained about my job in a while despite working a shit ton lately including holidays (10 hours xmas eve + 7 hours boxing day + 10 hours new year's eve 🤡) so here's some quickfire BOLLOCKS ive had to deal with:

the kp (19F) and supervisor (33F) almost got in a punch up LMAO

my manager decided to have a complete breakdown on nye and took it out on literally everyone. like he overbooked past our capacity and instead of being normal and just cancelling some people even if it meant losing money this man instead started pulling tables out of his arse and creating new seating areas (anyone who's worked in hopitality knows you Cant Just Do That least of all DURING the busiest night of the year). naturally we had a shit ton of customers complaing about being too squidged together and who got to deal with it? THE FLOOR STAFF i hate everything

same manager same night kept snapping at all of us im still furious about this okay basically i was working a 10 hour shift and at 6pm there's a shift change, so we all tend to move sections and when you've been working the same (shit) section for 6 hours this is a GODSEND. so i got moved from my least favourite section to my favourite section and there's always a bit of a scramble around the shift change bc we're all picking up where someone else left off so it's where MOST of the mistakes happen. this happens daily to every single waitress no matter how experienced. and do you know what i had the nerve to do? i forgot to give this one couple their menus. literally they had not sat for even 5 minutes and were waiting on drinks anyway and my manager STORMS over like 'why havent window 1 got menus' and i immediately was on it like 'oh shit sorry ive just taken their drinks order ill bring them now'. this utter CUNT walked off bc he cant handle actual confronation and the next thing i know one of the supervisors comes over like 'we need you running food so me and you are gonna swap'. and im here like 'okay. weird. i hate running food so this is less than ideal but i cant argue'. i find out from the other supervisor (bc waitresses are GOSSIPS i was always going to find out) that my manager apparently swanned down to them like '[redacted] cant handle her section i need one of you to take over she's in another world' HELLO???????? count ur fucking days

did u know the holiday period actually makes customers ruder. did u know that. did u know the season of joy and giving ends the moment u step into a pub. because i know that now

there should be a law that ur not allowed to flirt with someone who's working. like maybe an exception if they start it first and you just reciprocate but aside that if they're on the clock in a job where customer service demands they be nice to you then DONT FUCKING FLIRT WITH THEM my god i could kill you. one man literally tried to set me up with his son when i was trying to just take a drinks order and that was one of the TAME examples

the bar staff kept clocking off before me and purposely sitting on tables closest to my screen to drink just so they could brag. psychological warfare im telling you

i hate it when i finish gaming for the night because its like what am i going to do now but i open up the game and im like wow... I literally do not want to do any of this. and i have a headache