#i rly hate how they didnt line any of this up BUT - very hot
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#i rly hate how they didnt line any of this up BUT - very hot#kratos#god of war valhalla#god of war ragnarok#gow: valhalla#gow: ragnarok#gowedit#gow: valhalla spoilers#myedits
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crush culture • richie tozier
(richie tozier x reader)
requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!
warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho
this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)
[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]
3.8k words L O L :))
♡
you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.
it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.
and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.
you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking.
he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.
so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was.
so yeah.
you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.
like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.
he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.
“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.
you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”
you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.
god, jealousy is a fucking disease.
“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.
after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.
as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail.
he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.
you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”
richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work.
all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.
but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.
so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.
richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.
you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.
then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.
richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.
as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -
"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.
the rubber band snaps.
"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm.
bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.
he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.
“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.
“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.
with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.
you want to die.
does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him?
"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."
you nearly cry. or scream.
“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.
this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.
it’s tranquilizing to see him like this - he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.
“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”
you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.
“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.
it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.
"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.
“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.
“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain.
the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded.
your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."
richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.
richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.
for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).
but it's driving you crazy.
“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.
you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.
without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”
what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.
"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."
then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne.
you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.
“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.
you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.
"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.
he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.
"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?
it hurts to hear him say that about himself.
he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.
“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.
your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."
you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.
“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.
"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”
richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.
"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.
they broke up?
he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder.
"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats.
you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did.
but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.
he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks.
he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."
he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.
"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."
richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted.
you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.
"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.
"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily.
you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"
he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.
"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.
"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls.
he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.
richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever.
you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin.
you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.
"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.
"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.
he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.
the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.
tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters
#richie tozier x reader#requests#losers x reader#losers club x reader#bill denbrough x reader#mike hanlon x reader#ben hanscom x reader#beverly marsh x reader#eddie kaspbrak x reader#stanley uris x reader
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Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101
Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL
Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)
Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.
Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is
Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like
The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet
Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK
There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)
Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.
Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.
I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.
Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)
I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.
Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!
#history 4: close to you#history 4#a thot#god my anxiety was thru the roof turns out i needed to eat
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Maybe not the right account to ask, but how can I tell the difference between just being attracted to men and that playing into gay relationships or wanting to be a man? I know it’s common for straight girls to get turned on/find male couples attractive(I mean this as respectfully as I can), but I also know being drawn towards gay relationships could indicate that I’m a gay man? I’m just really confused about that and I can’t tell what I’m feeling
hi nonnie. i know ive definitely talked about the latter case (my interest in mlm playing a role in ultimately understanding my identity as a trans mlm) so i feel like i definitely need to clarify. That isnt the only reason i began to question my gender. i had a LOT of other things going on and throughout my life i noticed many different moments & preferences that, altogether, i see as being a part of my gender dysphoria that i didnt understand at the time. these things include:
hating girly things as a kid, being the stereotypical "tomboy"
when i was rly little i was obsessed with being able to "pee like a boy" even after i understood the "difference" (aka genitals) i still was like. Obsessed with the thought of it like "what if I could.....Pee Like A Boy....what....might that mean......"
i loved writing & i never wrote from the pov of a girl it was almost always a guy. i was all "im not like other girls i dont understand ~them~" which alone is just like internalized misogyny but. even after understanding that i didnt Like writing from the pov of a girl or "playing" girl characters or anything.....i realize now this dislike was bc i felt like i was always "playing" a girl & i wanted to escape that.
I not only hated my name (my birth name was a very feminine name) but always kept trying to find nicknames or change my name to something gender neutral or masculine. I got in trouble in 6th grade where my teachers called a parent teacher conference to tell my parents that i needed to stop turning in all my schoolwork with the names of male celebrities that i liked at the time.
Related to previous bullet point - my friends and i would "role play" a lot together where we just thought of a story & characters & then just improved it out as those characters & to hear them refer to me as a guys name with he/him pronouns was like......i could NOT get enough. In english classes when we acted out plays i always begged for a guys role. in high school i even wrote a journal for a time from my teenage Malesona(TM)
when i did go hyperfeminine & wore dresses & always did my hair & make up etc. it was fun for a time & then it got very old. It didnt feel like me, it felt like a fake person. people have told me after coming out that they thought i was like fake/insincere. I was also extremely depressed at this time so i figured it was the depression at the time but like now i see that actually probably a large part of my depression was bc i was forcing myself to be a girl.
and while these are just my hyperspecific examples from my personal transition, i hope that it shows that there were a lot of other "signs" that i didnt understand at the time even if they seem really obvious now. i questioned my gender since puberty hit, i started binding my chest around 10th/11th grade, etc. all of this PLUS the way i interacted with m/m slash fandom was how i came to my identity.
so i think to answer ur question nonnie - do you just like reading m/m fic bc those r characters u like and u find them hot, or like watching gay porn vids bc dudes r hot & women in porn can sometimes be iffy (w the Male Gaze & all) so its harder to find stuff u like w f/m & f/f vids, & just generally stuff along these lines but nothing to do w how u personally view ur own gender or how u want to be perceived by others? Then youre probably a girl who is attracted to guys (and/or other genders since u didnt specify!)
OR......
are you questioning your gender in other ways, does it make you uncomfortable to be seen as a woman, do you not like to think of yourself as being a woman, do other people seeing you & interacting with you as a guy or another gender make you happier than as a girl, or any other similar experiences where you feel your actual gender is not the same as the one you were "assigned" from birth? if thats accurate, maybe looking into some transgender resources might be helpful.
I hope this helps you nonnie, please feel free to message me on my main @warrenkoles as well if you have any more specific questions or just want to talk a bit about what its like being trans. :)
Wes
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iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?
i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/
I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/
like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/
Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5
Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!
Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.
Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…
Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???
But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!
#if we were villians#books#also literally dont apologize for any mistakes or going bonkers like i have no problem n i understood what u meant anyways LMAO#anon#ask
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HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)
so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol)
so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):
6) My Hero (HIStory1) -
probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre...
i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable..
i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol
5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -
people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...
the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!
nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol!
basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)
4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)
this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol
i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...)
i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!
3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -
i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)
i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...
overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho...
2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -
ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?!
(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)
the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)
i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!
1) Trapped (HIStory3) -
lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!
from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol
i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol
(conclusion)
Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue!
So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)
fin~
#HIStory series#HIStory1#HIStory2#HIStory3#(not gonna tag them all individually cos we'll be here for years lol)#review#rant#(not really)#gay series#taiwanese series#lgbt series#lgbtq#HIStory#i've not read it through lol... might make no sense... dont read this lol
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cue me, clanking noisily at a nearby manhole as i attempt to scrabble my way bk out of the sewer like the stinky little rat tht i am. enchanté, ghouls! some of u might remember me (nai/from manchester so i pronounce things like a gallagher brother n i’m profusely sry abt it) bt if nt i hd to drop off the face of the Earth rp wise fr a hot minute there bt now im bk n i couldn’t resist reviving lana so???? here we r. u kno the drill more abt her under the cut!!
( cis-female ) haven’t seen LANA JAMESON around in a while. the KRISTINE FROSETH lookalike has been known to be (+) VIVACIOUS & (+) ALLURING, but SHE can also be (-) UNRELIABLE & (-) CARELESS. The 22 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in BALLET. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/ha/the beast from split. )
some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror
SO i think in terms of explainin where she’s been fr the past month i’m gna say tht she didn’t rly.... tell a lot of ppl??? probably only a select few bt to others im guessin she was pretty vague bc she hates discussin anythin serious/personal. anyway essentially she’s been back @ home helpin her brother out n i won’t elaborate much more bc im a thot
frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey
she’s local to the ny area i jst havent decided where exactly she grew up tbh. probably somewhere upstate
okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few rly big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life
they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst.... a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty
her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once
despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly
growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character
she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r
anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself
this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married
she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh
new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks
personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another
plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!
#water:intro#inhales a deep breath before slappin down these tws#theyr all only briefly touched upon / vague bt! jst to be sure#rape tw#statutory rape tw#abuse tw#ptsd tw#hospitalisation tw#hypersexuality tw#death tw#mental illness tw#drugs tw#also im literally 2 lazy to finish doin her blog so if u click on the pages n r shocked by the barren findings then i jst. i jst dnt kno#wht to tell u
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTERS 10 + 11
we had a week of peace and now we’re gonna get annihilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no clue how long this liveblog may end up but hell and high water i’m combining them both
she tore the jade pendant from her neck and flung it into the darkness.
let’s give a warm welcome, to sadness,
i’m very excited for all-new cinder content hhhhhhh if u havent gathered by now I Love This Bitch and I Love Her Many Problems so im thankful for this gift 😞
Cinder was a ruin, her pride carved and served like slabs of meat.
i can FEEL diesel n kc rly patting themselves on the back for every bit of wet meat they can toss at me!!!!!!!!!! U HEAR THAT I CAN FEEL U!!!!!!!!!!! but also i still love this shit w/ all my heart!!!!!!!!!! IM NEVER GONNA STOP SAYIN IT
She had never looked at Glynda’s files.
im so sorry cinder baby but that whole thing? is still HILARIOUS oh my GOD i cannot believe you fucked up that badly. u shoved yr entire head into a beartrap. u absolutely crapped yr pants on that one. yr gonna be thinking abt that on yr deathbed,
/looks at the chapter title again
hhhhhhhh im. so pumped. its gonna be hard to talk abt most of this w/o doing a million fingerguns a minute but i’m gonna try my best
Cinder approached the mirror and touched its silvered face with black-tipped claws,
I SAID IM GONNA TRY MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was iron barbs beneath the nail bed, glowing coals underfoot, the singular capacity to do harm. She was a beast, armed with fang and claw and a deep, dark void where her compassion should have laid, and she was dressed for dinner.
HHHHHH god YES THIS IS THE CINDER IM THIRSTY FOR............ i literally cannot say anything that isnt a massive 👈😎👈 but AAAAAAA
like im reading thru this and i cant cherry-pick lines this whole bit? is SO GOOD... kc n diesel are Yet Again obliterating me w/ their mastery of the narrative style of offal hunt and i just love all of this i rly wish i could explain how offal hunt is EXACTLY MY BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F U C K
The final touch on her mastercraft disaster: the four sawed-off horn stumps which grew among her silver-streaked hair.
HOOOO B O I i am. Losin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER HORNS.......... CINDR...............
Wretchedly, she wondered: did Glynda even respect her now?
any other villain: my plan didnt work and im mad >:(
cinder fall: my plan didnt work and now im mad but also mostly sad :(
CINDER’S TRYING HER BEST GOD.......... i literally hate how the remaster has made her So Soft, Actually... I BELIEVE IN U CINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YR BEST
Every part of her was hot and hollow. She was sick with loathing.
i LOVE HER.... CINDER I HOPE U KNO THAT YR LOVED... god tho i dont like how SAD I AM RN... cinder’s so small and the world is so big and wants 2 Shit On Her blease
honestly like. im rly- LOOK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT. this is why im rly lovin the new cinder content because in the first version we only got glimpses of her internal machinations and now we’re in full-blown Always Sad territory and everything is suffering :)
She blinked. Her double did not.
‘well’, thought murphy. ‘that’s terrifying.’
she’d only survived thanks to a keen instinct for danger, cultivated during her tenuous teenage years.
i NEED. I NEED. CINDER BACKSTORY. all these lil nuggets dont constitute a meal! I WANT A BIG MAC AND FRIES. WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS BABY DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also again. the body horror of offal hunt? peak content. Im Lovin It
its getting harder to divine what is and what is not a 👈😎👈 because we got bits sprinkled around and theres only rly a spoiler potential if u glue em all together so im still being extra careful and the answer is blared in everyones faces so this whole kondor scene will go uncommented unless some Bullshit Happens which it will, so,
When she had become so invested in Glynda’s approval? When had a desire to be recognized as something inhuman, something ferocious, something black and terrible and capable of keeping up with Glynda Fucking Goodwitch turned into this?
oh! oh! i have the answer! i do! i know the answer! it’s you a lesbian,
The spectres of her youth haunted this city, owl-eyed children and fox-eared teens. They’d been a second sort of family, the only kind she’d had within these walls, and she’d wondered what had become of them in the past decades, but…
It was too sentimental, and she wasn’t meant to be a creature of sentiment.
oh boy okay wow
okay so actually this bit made me cry??? fuck OFF im losing it!!!!!!!! LET HER BE SENTIMENTAL!!!! LET HER HAVE PPL TO CARE ABT!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY CRYING IM GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!
She would go barefoot from this point on, her heels clutched at her side. When she left the hotel room to steal into the night, she promised herself not to look back.
im sorry im just. so sad rn. i havent cried over a fic in YEARS and we still have another chapter ago i hate this SO MUCH..............
here comes chapter 11
if i cry even once more im going to stab!!!!!! im not sure what BUT ILL STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even without his wings, the Manticore would easily have been twice the size of any of the other Grimm, far outstripping them in sheer bulk.
HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATI HATI HATI
holy shit we actually get to see him this time!!!!!!!!!!! WE GET TO SEE THIS LEGENDARY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHONCC,
also hes a manticore now which is, Radical, may i just say, and just a little bit sexy,
The effortless grace in each move betrayed power most Grimm would not live to achieve. Once he stood, he had to dip his head low to meet her eye to eye. His canines were the length of her forearm.
if u werent here for the remaster? we never even SAW hati but now hes here, hes Big, and rly thats all that matters,
Like a child who’d been allowed to lie and lie until at last they’d strangled themself in the web they’d spun, Cinder couldn’t speak. Could only wait on his verdict.
every single one of cinder’s inherent themes is killing me and this business w/ family? stop. im dying. this is rude
The scant space between them popped and cracked like an sparking flame, warm and effervescent, and this time, Cinder lingered, hugging Hati close.
IF I CRY ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U ASSHOLES MAKE ME CRY ONCE MORE I WILL DOXX YOU,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaah im loving this content i rly dont have words for it dhjfgsdfgjh i just, rly like the words, and the order theyre in, and i honestly keep forgetting to liveblog it cause i just wanna READ EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tempting as it was—as it always had been, ever since she’d left the relative safety of the wastes and learned what happened to scraggly-limbed teens with horns and fangs and gleaming eyes—
with every chapter i desperately have 2 kno more abt baby cinder i HAVE to know i am so. UNBEARABLY CURIOUS... baby cinder what happened... what happened 2 u....
A lantern’s glow warmed her, bleeding into the darkness leeching at them both. It was a gentle gold across her skin, and like an answering signal from a distant outpost, Cinder saw a flush of light through the dark fur lining Hati’s throat, as though flames licked at his insides.
i forgot. that cinder glows like that when she feels Loved or full of pride and you know what i dont like these chapters. they were made to hurt me and i Dont Like That (im mclovin it)
From the safety of Hati’s neck, she found it easier—after all this time, he was still her bastion.
WHEN YOU REALISE? THAT YR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?? STOP,
For a regular person, the machine would be able to draw out short bursts of power, the likes of which no Semblance could ever channel. The taxation would eventually destroy the soul so deeply, so thoroughly, as to leave it empty for good.
For a Witch? For—
the fact. she cut herself off before she could think ‘for glynda’. has me on the FLOOR. this bit is just So Much i dont like it
Glynda Goodwitch would not abandon this hunt. Cinder knew it, had read it from her palms like an open book—Glynda Goodwitch did not know how to stop. If it had been anyone else on Remnant, they might never return, might never pull themselves back into action after today—but Glynda did not have a shred of self-preservation.
me, knocking against cinder’s head: u kno for someone w/ so many schemes in yr brain yr pretty dumb and gay, huh,
firstly let’s talk abt cinder’s “””””””””””””””””””self-preservation””””””””””””””””””” instin-- whats that? not found? yes
[Glynda’s] eyes were empty, hungry, insatiable.
i feel like ive read this line before! lets jump back a chapter--
In [Cinder’s] eyes, there was a subtle, endless hunger.
WAKE UP CINDER SHE’S YR SOULMATE!!!!!!!!!!! THE COFFEE’S READY U CAN SMELL THE BACON FROM HERE WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With a fluid leap, they were in the air, the ground quickly shrinking beneath them. Pressing her face against his neck to shield herself from the wind, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for what was to come, trusting Hati to deliver her safely.
that said i ADORE my boy hati is literally the best part of offal hunt kc and diesel do not interact,
He was frozen in horrific anticipation, like watching an imminent tragedy and being absolutely helpless to stop it. Like all the tension was mixed with grief and hopeless, futile fear.
when will offal hunt be nice to me. when will any of these characters get to be happy. hello. im full of sadness.
The sound was like a saw working back and forth, but resonating inside her head, rattling every tooth in her jaw, deafening to her ears.
im literally gritting my teeth at this i can hear it in my own head and its Very Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
okay god i can barely handle to quote anything more this bit is hurting ME so lets swiftly move on before I Die
Cinder closed her weary eyes, sinking into sleep like a shallow grave.
BE NICE TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE NICE TO HER JUST THIS ONCE, PLEASE, IM BEGGING YOU,
They only knew death, only ever sought death; fangs and claws slicked with blood, magic rending meat and marrow apart, and everywhere that choking, scalding heat, spilled blood like magma, like the core of a planet.
hmm... that seems like a 👈😎👈 ~reference~
They were all alert, ears pricked, hackles raised like Hati’s. They all fixed on the same spot, somewhere beyond the darkness of the cave opening, and though she could barely think, she knew:
She was out of time. The Witch was here.
oh no.
okay so THATS CHAPTERS 10 AND 11! i only cried ONCE and u kno what thats. a Victory. these two chapters were VERY GOOD i rly loved em and i can tell new readers r gonna have a blast w/ this shit!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile i, a veteran reader, am full of peril,
terrible.
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all of the asks! >:3
god ok
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
😏
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
i dont think i could date anyone who does any kind of drugs,, it makes me Very uncomfortable
4. Is your last name longer than six letters?
its only 4 babey
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
sober...ive never been drunk
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
i guess?? it was in high school so i dnt think it rly counts since yknow, i was 16
7. What does your last received text say?
“jgdijgjfdivjdjdj me“
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
not enough times !!! i love kissing my gf
9. Where was your last kiss at?
in the parkinglot behind my dorm building
10. When is the last time you saw your sister?
i saw both my sisters when i was home for break a few weeks ago
11. What do you drink in the morning?
coffey
12. Where did you sleep last night?
my bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard?
not rly? i think if relationships r hard then they arent rly meant to be
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
god i wouldnt have spent so much money
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
none at all ;3c
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
i guess rainy....overcast weather is my fav
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
my mom ! probably lots of other people too shjkdh lee is a fairly common name i think
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
jeans
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
i hope so!!!
20. Does anyone like you?
god i sure hope my gf does
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
nop
22. Is the last person you kissed gay?
ya thats why i kissed them ghksdjs
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
no one that i know personally.. there r some like celebrities and other famous ppl i dont like
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
yes i want a tattoo from a specific artist in my hometown!!!
25. In the past week have you cried?
i mean probably i dont remember though
26. What breed was the last dog you saw?
a pug...i saw him in a donut shop
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
i dry off as im stepping out of the shower
28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
no bc jocks intimidate me
29. Do you think you’re old?
not really in the grand scheme of things.. im only 20 i still have decades ahead of me !
30. Do you like text messaging?
ya
31. What type of day are you having?
its been ok! i spent time w my roommates downtown
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
i hav my septum pierced but a nostril piercing would b nice
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
cold..
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
i dont rly think theres such a thing as “opposite sex” since sex is also on a spectrum like gender
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
relationship ! flings r nice i guess but i prefer the stability and commitment of an actual relationship
36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
i thnik im fairly simple..idk
37. What song are you listening to?
when he died by lemon demon
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
yea of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
my best friemd emily40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
theyre hot and funny and very kind!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?
idk maybe an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?
im hungry and not being held by my gf43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
its my mom so fairly well i think44. Does anyone disgust you?
men45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
no bc im already dating someone46. Are you in a good mood right now?
i feel...neutral47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my roommate !48. What color shirt are you wearing?
its blue pruple n green tie dye49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
ya my history professor told me i had to read books50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
no one is coming to mind51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
i dont hate anyone!
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
almost gave up on ever being able to pet the raccoons outside the dining hall but someday ill be able to earn their trust
53. Do you like rain?
yes!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
not rly ! as long as theyre safe about it ykwim55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
no i think ive told most of my crushes how i felt about them at the time 56. Do you like to cuddle?
god yes i love to hold and be held57. Are you shy?
its the social anxiety 58. Do you get along with girls?
i am a lesbian59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
we r dating !! 60. What do you carry with you at all times?
my phone and my peper spray 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?
id do it for 10 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
ive been in my current one for 7 and my longest lasted 8 ! 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?
yes! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
anything my gf does is cute65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
my cat yawned when she tried to meow and made a weird squeak sound
66. How old are the last three people you kissed?
18 (or maybe 19 now idk), 19, 20
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?
i do them myself bc i hate spending money68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?
ghgdh,....neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?
i dont have a car yet 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?
neither...i dont rly like eithr of those music genres71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?
im samsung bitch until i die72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?
its been months. maybe years. i dont like pizza73. Do you like diet soda?
i dont rly like any soda anymore tbh74. What color are the walls in your room?
plain white...f 75. Are you 16 or older?
bitche im 2076. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?
nop i dont even know waht its about77. Do you have a job?
yes i work in a library ! 78. What are your initials?
ylb79. Did you ever have braces?
no :^/80. Are you from the south?
nope im a pnw bitch
81. What does your last status on facebook say?
something about voting82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?
ya shes my best friemd83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?
my mom.. fuck my dad !84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?
i vaguely remember attending a gymnastics class when i was like 5 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
uhh.. venom i think86. Do you smoke?
no never !!!87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?
flip flops. 88. Is your phone touch screen?
god how old are these questions. who has a phone that isnt touch screen now89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?
my hair is naturally curly !90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?
no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?
a pool..... rivers and lakes r scary92. Have you ever made out in a car?
not yet93. …Had sex in a car?
no that seems. . difficult. theres not very much room94. Are you single or in a relationship?
im in a luvly relationship95. What were you doing last night at midnight?
sleepin96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?
new years i think??97. Do you like the camera on your phone?
yea its pretty nice98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
no but ik i wanted one before i got into my current relationship skdgjhj99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
no but i did drink half a beer thing once and went to sleep bc i got a stomach ache100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?
i dont even use facebook101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?
when i was in first grade id play “family” w my friend sometimes and she’d pretend to be the dad and i was the mom so we would spoon each other bc we thot thats what sex was and i thought she actually got me pregnant bc i was 7 and didnt know anything102. Name your favorite Kesha song:
the song blind slaps103. Do you have any tan lines right now?
no its winter and i also dont go outdoors104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?
i hate wearing shorts
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Rose Garden / Part Two
YO SO I HOPE U ALL LIKED THE FIRST PART BC THERES MORE COMING :-) (so i mean it sucks if u didnt)
thank u for liking it !!!! it rly means a lot life is shite nd this is what makes me feel happy so I’m gna do it more lol HOPE U ENJOY - evie XX
words: 1,302
warnings: none!
gif creds to the owner! :))))
The next couple of weeks in the library were fairly mundane and boring. You spent most of the time with Helen, gossiping about whoever she had a crush on that week and how she hated men and so on and so on. Your boss had returned the following day, so you hadn’t been expected to go and collect any fines, which was a shame since it was slightly more interesting than stacking or issuing books.
“Emillie?” You heard your boss shout from the front desk, as you and Helen were hidden behind the religion section giggling like schoolgirls, “could you come and help me please?”
You rolled your eyes to your ginger-haired friend, who stuck her tongue out at you, before heading over to the checkout desk, where your elderly boss was drowning in customers. You hadn’t even noticed how many people were in the library, though you and Helen were sharing your sexual exploits behind the Bible.
You took your space next to Tim, your boss, and began issuing books out to customers, “name please?” You called out, not bothering to move your head up to the man in front of you. It had become a habit, but you were far too tired to smile for five hours on end.
“Alfred Solomons,” he replied, a familiar voice grumbled above you. You took his card, and looked up and the boasting figure stood before you, “nice to see you again, Emillie.”
“You too, Mr Solomons,” you said, stamping the due date in his book. One you had never expected to see a man of his characteristics read; Pride and Prejudice. You looked up at the man, an eyebrow raised.
Alfie noticed your gaze and coughed slightly, embarrassed, “I thought I’d start with the classics.” He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, trying to cover his flushed cheeks.
“It’s my favourite,” you said honestly, biting your lip to stop the smile from breaking out on your face. His mouth broke out into the widest smile you’d ever seen on a man in your life, as you looked at him through your lashes. You continued to stamp the return date of the book on the front; a weeks time.
“I’ll let you know how I get on, Emillie,” he picked up the book carefully and tucked it into the inside pocket of his jacket, careful not to tear any pages.You grinned as you watched him leave, even thinking that his back looked attractive.
You were quickly snapped out of your thoughts as Helen came waltzing past, a knowing grin plastered on her face. “Who was he?” She asked, cocking her left eyebrow and leaning one elbow on the wooden desk. Helen’s poker face stayed stationary until you lost the unofficial game of chicken.
You sighed, feeling heat rise to your cheeks, “he’s the owner of a bakery in town.”
“And?” She pressed, her green eyes sweeping over your uncomfortable demeanour. Tim, an elderly man of over eighty, just looked at you back and forth before rolling his eyes and dismissing you both to stacking books in the far corner of the building.
You busied yourself, hoping Helen had forgotten about how you were sat staring at the back of a man you barely knew. But her face popping up in between two cookery books told you that she hadn’t.“I met him when I went to go and collect a fine last week, remember?” You explained, placing a book next to where her head was resting on the shelf. She coughed, expecting you to continue. “There’s nothing else to say, Helen.” She looked at you, an unimpressed smirk displayed on her face, and you groaned, “Helen! I’ve only met the man twice!”
“Do you like him?” She pressed, urging you to spill your inner most thoughts- something you weren’t all that comfortable doing.
“I hardly know him!” You marvelled, cautious about keeping the volume down. You especially didn’t need Tim on your back, not with Helen already doing your head in,
“Yes, but do you fancy him?” Helen nagged, wandering to shelve a book away in the non-fiction section.
“I think he’s quite attractive,” conceding, you shook your head at your best friend’s triumphant face, “but don’t say anything! I barely know the man, Helen. Plus, I doubt he’d be interested in me, he’s at least ten years older than me.”
“Who knows? He could be your Mr Darcy,” she laughed, a knowing glint in her eyes. You rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might fall out of your head, but continued to do your work, leaving her to bask in this new found information.
Your shift ended at five, an hour before the library shut for the public. As you left, a smell of coffee was brought to your attention, making your stomach grumble with hunger. It was coming from the little patisserie across from the green grocers, a small walk away.
Deciding to follow your nose (and stomach), you ended up in the shop, ordering a cup of coffee and a piece of Victoria sandwich. The evening was cool; a breeze nipping at your shoulders and dancing around the ringlets of your hair, but still warm enough to sit outside.
Half way through your drink, a man sat opposite you; George Wicker.
“Oh, hello,” you said, putting your drink down and looking up at the man who you’d been all through school with. Despite being very attractive, you could never think of George as anything but the boy who pushed you over in the mud when you were seven years old, “can I do anything for you?”
He smiled, looking deeply into your eyes. You blushed without meaning to, but the intensive stare just kept your cheeks growing redder and redder- until you resembled the same colour as a tomato.
“How about accompanying me to the pictures tonight?” He proposed, a hand going to touch your thigh under the table. You flinched, nearly knocking over your drink.
“Oh, no thank you George. I already have plans; I think Helen is free tomorrow, though,” you said, moving his hand off of your leg, and continuing to eat your cake in peace.
“Go on, Em,” he moved his hand back, tracing lines up and down on your bare skin, “it’ll be fun- plus I don’t like Helen. She’s far too eager.”
Your conversation continued for a while, neither of you giving up. It was only when George’s hand travelled further up your leg did you feel extremely uncomfortable, and end up knocking your steaming hot drink onto his hand. It was an accident, but you still thanked your lucky stars and whoever was looking out for you.
Needless to say, George left rather quickly, and you were able to get away without a date. There was no way in hell you’d ever date that boy- his reputation was a bit too much for handle, and considering you thought of him as a weird little boy who made friends with ants, it wasn’t likely to happen.
You made your way back to your place, the streets darkening and goosebumps appearing on your skin. It wasn’t a far walk, but you still felt tired as anything when you finally arrived at your door. Your neighbours were in, the glare from the lights peeping through their net curtains. You could hear the couple squabbling about something; probably the same thing they’d squabble about every single night since you’d moved in.
Sighing, you unlocked the door, immediately going straight to your bedroom. It wasn’t that late; but suddenly you felt your eyes becoming droopy and struggled to keep them awake. Maybe it was George causing you stress; or maybe it was your body telling you to dream about Alfie.
Either way, you knew men were the problem.
#Peaky Blinders#peaky blinder imagine#peaky blinder fanfic#Alfie Solomons#Tom Hardy#tom hardy imagine#tom hardy fanfiction
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⭐️11 Questions!⭐️
i was tagged by @kyungminie to do this tag which is actually very similar to something else they’ve tagged me in that i haven’t gotten around to finishing yet lmao anyways!!! thanks SO MUCH for the tag ur such a great mutual ok
im jus gonna tag some ppl before i get started: @pokshi @sprignday @pinkyjihoon @beautifulmv @beautifulcarats @midnighthansol @hoejisoo @minghuo
ok so the rules are basically you answer the questions and then give 11 of your own and tag some ppl!!
1. If you had to choose between listening to music or watching any kind of video (tv, movie,mv) which would you choose if you had to give one up? (the most evil question 😈)
AAAAAAAAAAAH THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION !!!but i GUESS i would have to give up videos and stuff bc music means way too much to me
2. Do have any favorite sayings/lines/lyrics and why are they your favorites?
well my favorite lyrics would be p much any borns song (just pretend i put the special o ok im too lazy to google it n then copy n paste) OR the lyrics to Neptune by Sleeping At Last?? they’re so pretty and idk.... i’ve known that song since last summer but it still calms me down whenever i hear it
3. Do you collect any kpop related stuff? Merch/Photocards/Albums/ect? and what groups?
well idk about COLLECT but i want more albums......tbh i only became a kpop stan last december and i have more 5sos merch (DVD, albums, t shirts) than kpop IM A MESS but i rly wanna start collecting stickers of svt bc there are a lot of rly cute svt stickers
4. What are your top 3 favorite and least favorite food?
#1 fav: rice!!!
#2 fav: seafood?? (shrimp lobster and crab in particular)
#3 fav: chesters hot fries!!(ut they dont sell them in kw except SOMETIMES at my mom’s job so :(()
#1 least fav: anything that comes off someone else’s plate/fork(except for my sister lmao i’ve known her since i was born)
#2 least fav: anything ft cold spaghetti sauce UGH just the smell of non hot spaghetti sauce makes me GAG
#3 least fav: cilantro !! i hate it unless its in a rly good soup otherwise ITS NASTY
5. If you were given 1000 dollars to spend on whatever you like no catches what would you spend it on?
well for my last bday my dad gave me a lot of money and i gradually spent it all on food so i’d probably just spend it all on food but slowly (and merch prolly)
6. What hobbies do you have outside of kpop?
uhhhh well i cross-stitch and i’m learning howto make music ?? like on a computer and i also like to build things and paint :)
7. Do you have any piercings or tattoos? if so where and of what?
aaaaaa im only a lil baby!! so i have only my ears pierced and a fake septum from claire’s LMAO
8. What is your favorite beverage beside water/coffee/tea/pop?
minute maid!! all the flavors!!! also on new years itried non alcoholic wine and i LOVED IT
9. Where is the coolest places you ever been? Tell me about it!
umm when i went to LA it was pretty cool!! i was there for five days and i didnt go to in n out but i went to nice guy?? the portions were tiny and i ate my food and my mom’s food and my sister’s food LMAOOO but!! it was good but their truffle fries were gross tho :/ it was comicon weekend and i took a train to san diego and met zack(zach??) and keith from buzzfeed and got a picture nbiohinoinxbbdn i was shaking and being SOO ANNOYING but it was fun!
10. What group/s is/are your bias group/s? Why?
umm svt for sure!!! i think its bc thats always where my ult has been (first it was jeonghan then it was joshua now its josh/hao) and also i joined the fandom right after booomboom came out??? before all the christmas stuff and i was just amazed by how talented they were i learned everything about them in like three days
11. Name a less popular group that you like that you think doesn’t get the recognition they deserve! hype them up!! (coughcoughmonstaxcoughcough)
YES MONSTA X !!! i dont rly stan but i watched the video of the two guys getting hypnotized and i cried within the first five mins !!! they are lovely boys
My Questions:
1. Favorite Kpop MV?
2. Favorite Solo Singer?
3. Do you have a fav pic of ur bias?? describe it!!
4. What’s your favorite TV show?
5. What’s a song that you think describes you as a person?
6.Favorite Girl Group?
7. What’s your favorite dessert?
8. Do you have a favorite book?
9. What’s your favorite meme (lmao)
10. What’s your favorite album artwork?
11. Are you more of an outdoors or indoors type person?
#THANK YOU DEAR MUTUAL FOR THE TAG I BROKE MY LATOP CHARGER ANF IM USING MY LAST BIT OF JUICE TO DO THIS#YALL TAGGED DONT HAVE TO DO IT OFC#tag stuff
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 6
another saturday, another series of me screaming. not much of an intro up here just a plunge straight tino desert bullfuckery. here we GO-
Then the mass at the core of them took shape, practically glowing from inside like a coal in a burner. Glynda recognized the patterns of gold surging with Aura along Cinder’s dress, the long strides which carried her over the molten remains of the stone spire.
we’re opening with this quote because i feel like i never did express how absolutely God Damn Sexy cinder is in this chapter. there is something VERY attractive abt having someone become SO POWERFUL they are completely overwhelming. this is going from a candle to a blowtorch. i’m very into it. i don’t think i ever said that before BUT HERE WE ARE.
im pretty sure this is their first real desert encounter but i wonder if glynda would have noticed any marginal increases to cinder’s fire bullshit if she hadn’t been so focused on the hunt..... but no glynda needs to whapped in her face with a wet fish before she notices JACK SHIT,
glynda yr EYES,
Even the slightest graze against her Aura invoked flash sweats, the heat of the desert paling in comparison.
i get that shit from sitting in a 24C bedroom i would be DEAD BY NOW,
i wonder how fire like this feels to cinder... ive written weiss as being immune to cold before (which is hilarious when she’s trying to articulate how cold something is to someone who actually, yknow, feels it) and im like... is cinder like ‘well this is toasty warm’... cinder whats yr body temp.... hello..........................
honestly i just wanna know, as someone who hates heat, what its like, to not hate it,
Too much, if she was being honest, but staying here meant death, and death meant failure.
my favourite character trope is people who think failure > death, and honestly it makes me think of hermione when shes like... we could get killed, or worse, expelled. im just rly enjoyin this HYPERFOCUSED GLYNDA OKAY.............. shes just so 👌 and also a moron,
“It must be the heat.”
/distantly: ‘its cause yr so hot,’
Yet for all that Cinder must have known what rushed at her back, she didn’t waver, her eyes set on Glynda, never straying.
:3c
i mean lets be real you’ll have read to the end of this chapter before reading my blathering like a total Foole so like... consider how terrifying it must be to have yr rival ignoring the danger (because she has nothing to fear) just to focus on u. so powerful! u’d shit yrself! there’s nothing in the WORLD to draw her attention from u..... Oh No,
glynda Yet again refuses to fear Anything do u kno how many times this stupid lesbian ends up in trouble because of this??? Too Many is the answer. too.... fuckign many.
Glynda was as vulnerable as a rabbit in a snare.
velvet scarlatina is en route to break yr bones,
A jolt of terrible recognition shot down her spine at the sight of Cinder Fall silhouetted against the sunlight filtering in, her dress billowing around her as her flame construct faded into nothing behind her.
i stan this Aesthetiq Bitch!!!!! like HONESTLY she stood there, waited for glynda to fuckin look up, posing, silhouetted, the billowing wind.... darth vader who? only one bitch has the pizzazz, the willpower, the flawless Look(tm), and its cinder.
It was like looking into a mirror and trying to parse the empty gaze staring back at her.
oh bitch what a good line THATS A GOOD LINE WHAT THE HELL
oh no like. thats really good, actually, like, oh no. THATS. MMMMMMM-
He would have to take her destroyed body back to Beacon, for she could never return to the only home she’d ever known by her own feet again.
WAS THIS WHOLE BIT NECESSARY??????????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAA-
god thats. Rough. like i love the whole desert arc bit thing because it is Full Of gifts but also. it takes away so much.
Cinder’s toes curled against the stone. “Leave.”
FINALLY WE’RE HERE!!!! THE JUICY BIT BEGINS,
honestly the references to cinder’s sigils are. very good. she is Hot and i would like cinder to step on me, and also kill me maybe,
Cinder stood silent and still as a queen, watching her soldiers lower their heads as they passed her by.
i was threatened and the threat came to PASS, WHAT THE FUCK,
god cinder is SO GOOD IN THIS REMASTER shes powerful, sexey, a small gay loser....................... i am Lovin It and im EATIN HER UP...... but srsly tho the thirst,
there ARE still a bunch of 👈😎👈 moments but we finally had one of the bigger juicy bits drop (AND WE HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN ALL OF THE JUICE YET..... CHUG CHUG BABEY) so its Fine and also-
Alerted by some miniscule sound, Cinder’s head turned, eyes gleaming like an animal’s by night.
THE GLOWY EYES HAVE COME TO PASS THIS CHAPTER GIVES SO MUCH oh my god i have been waiting on the glowy eyes for. Years. i am 97 years old,
Instead, Cinder examined Glynda closely before crouching carefully before her, one knee pressed into the ground.
‘will u marry me’
‘wh-’
‘im attracted to idiots and i gotta say u have maybe 2 braincells going for u rn,’
“The great Glynda Goodwitch, on her knees before the enemy.” Cinder said, thumb smoothing an errant tangle of blonde hair out of Glynda’s eyes. “Do you understand what I could do to you?”
im losing my FUCKIGN MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is. god. u kno in films where the bad guy flirts relentlessly in a position of power.... well i never cared for it because it was almost always hetero but as it turns out, like most things, when its gay i am HERE 4 IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Red-hot and foreign, it was entirely unlike any other Aura Glynda had ever felt. In her years, Glynda had encountered hundreds of people and their Auras—but this was something dark and feral, wine-red and ichor-black, shooting scalding and angry through Glynda’s own body. A steady flow of blood or a seep of decay; Cinder’s Aura was so wild it barely felt human at all.
did i say i wouldnt 👈😎👈? jk i lied
👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈
honestly? diesel n kc can. die,,
god why is this scene SO...... WHY ARE THEY NOT KISSING YET, IS THE THING, IS THE QUESTION, I HAVE TO ASK-- like seriously this scene became. 3x more queer than it was before. are yall seeing this shit????????????
Just who was Cinder Fall?
YR FUTURE GF AND WIFE WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE GLYNDA,
okay so. okay. did i mention i love the desert arc? because i DO and i continue to LOVE IT and i cannot wait for the bullshit that was chapter 7 now chapter 9??? did i get that right i probably didnt. BUT STILL,
anyway this chapter was powerful and gay and i loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CINDER, U SEXY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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