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eightpoundsofhair · 6 years

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Senior Class Winter Project

Yay! My holiday one shot is here!

Heres a description because i am proficient:

Peridot's dedication to student council has gifted her with the opportunity to co-organize her high school's annual holiday dance. The only problem is her rival since seventh grade has been assigned her partner. Two repressed crushes and plenty of bickering cause for a frustrated student council team and a pretty okay school dance.

You can read it here on AO3 or below

eridot was frustrated. She sat tapping her foot as she waited for the student council manager, a crumpled piece of paper held tightly in her shaking hand. She took a moment as the tall woman continued to chat with another teacher to glance back down at the paper and make sure what she was reading was correct. She hoped that she had misread; her eyes darted, with a dim hopeful feeling, down looking for the senior class's winter assignment.

And there, in big bold letters, the horror still stood.

Senior Class Winter Project The senior class will be put in charge of planning and organizing the annual Holiday Dance for their winter assignment. Respective jobs for senior student council members are listed below. Project Leaders: Peridot Diamond and Lapis Lazuli

Peridot groaned to herself, as she lowered the paper from her eyes once more. She felt herself grow more irritated by the second, and she wanted the woman's conversation to be done with. Peridot let out a long breath as she shook her head. Why would the woman put Lapis and herself as partners? She had had to break up their arguments before, and knew that the pair had been rivals sense middle school, arguing over everything and anything they talked about, from tv shows to who was their tenth grade English teachers favorite student.

Frustratingly, more than a few rumors had been floating around the school for a few years, saying that the girls secretly liked each other. Peridot shoved them off, stating that she and Lapis really did argue with each other. Even if they did it more than was considered normal. It was like an addiction, Peridot reasoned, both parties seeming more than willing to pull arguments and competitions out of nowhere for the sake of arguing. More frustratingly, Peridot's small social circle often liked to tease Peridot on her "crush" on the blue haired girl. A crush that Peridot adamantly claimed not to have. Although, while she would never admit, lots of self reflecting in the middle of sleepless nights and a few particular fantasies couldn't quite get Peridot to agree with herself.

Peridot shook away the embarrassing thoughts and looked back down at the paper in her hand. Her eyes read over the same line a few more times. Her cheeks warmed and Peridot tried to assure herself it was because she was angry.

She sent a quick glare towards the blue haired girl in questions way. Lapis looked up from where she had been looking at the same list after a moment and the pair made eye contact. Peridot's heart skipped but she shoved the feeling away, instead hardened her glare, and Lapis stuck her tongue out at Peridot in response. Peridot rolled her eyes at the child-like display, and stepped forward as the woman she had been waiting for finished with her conversation.

Peridot gathered herself as the tall woman turned to her.

"Hello, Peridot," she said smoothly, adjusting her sunglasses as she stared down at the short girl.

"Hello, Ms. Garnet," Peridot replied, voice dripping with annoyance. She lifted the paper and shoved it towards the woman, "I wish to speak with you about my partner as project leader,"

Garnet shook her head at the student as she pushed the paper back into Peridot's hand, "I want you to work with her," she replied, her voice lacking any true expression.

Peridot, glanced back down at the paper, and then back up at her teacher, baffled. She opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted.

"You're differences will be put aside for at least the next few weeks so you can work together in leading your class. You two are both very dedicated to the student council and I believe both of you deserve this position,"

Peridot glanced quickly back at the blue haired girl in question, she had been watching and their eyes met as Peridot turned. Peridot quickly turned to look back at the taller woman who stood in front of her instead.

"But-" she started, her voice a near shout with her frustration.

"I know you two like to argue, but I think if you put your minds to it you will work together just fine. I am not making any adjustments," Garnet annunciated her last sentence before she looked down at Peridot.

Peridot groaned, and a chair squeaked behind her. She huffed as the fast footsteps stopped and she looked away from the taller girl next to her.

"She's impossible to work with! I can't-" Peridot rolled her eyes at the outburst. She wasn't the problem.

"Lapis," the tall woman's voice spoke coldly, "I'm not changing it. You two will have to figure things out. Now if you'll excuse me," with that the woman turned and left the two teenagers behind.

Peridot blushed as she noticed other members of the student council starring. A cold hand grabbed her arm, and started pulling her towards the other end of the library. Peridot grumbled and tried to shake her arm away as she realized it was Lapis.

"Buzz off, Lazuli,"

The girl in question groaned, and only gripped her harder. She mumbled something under her breath as she continued to drag her across the room.

Eventually they stopped in the back corner of the room, far enough away from prying eyes of the other student council members to have some privacy. Peridot noticed a slight blush converting Lapis's cheeks as the girls turned towards one another. She ignored the way it made heat rise to her own face.

"I don't want to work with you either," Lapis said coldly despite her flushing face, "So let's just split up the work, that way we won't have to talk to each other,"

"But that doesn't make any sense, we need to organize everything! I'm not going to let you mess up the whole dance!"

"If anyone is going to mess it up, it's going to be you," Lapis interjected, stepping forward and poking Peridot harshly on the chest with a pointed finger, "Remember in freshman year when you said you could bring-"

Peridot interrupted her, and followed Lapis's previous action, taking what she hoped was an intimidating step forward, "At least I-"

They were interrupted by a low whistle across the room. Peridot halted in her tracks, suddenly noting just how close she and Lapis had gotten as they kept stepping closer towards one another while fighting.

Another senior laughed loudly as the girls blushed, jumping away from each other.

"Get a room already!"

Peridot felt like her face was on fire as she stomped back to her table, Lapis and herself parting to sit on opposite sides of the library for the rest of the student council meeting.

The next few days left the senior class frustrated with their team captains. The daily meetings were terribly unproductive, the team leaders arguing on every detail and refusing to agree on even a theme. As Friday rolled around Peridot and Lapis were told firmly by the remaining members that if they hadn't chosen a theme by Monday it would choosen without them.

The rest of the group left, leaving Peridot and Lapis alone in the art room where the class had met after school.

Peridot turned to Lapis who was rummaging through her bag. Lapis shoved a small piece of paper into Peridot's hand, as she stood.

"What is this?" She asked.

"My phone number, dumbass," Lapis replied, flipping the backpack up so she could wear it, "Text me tonight and hopefully I can convince you to change your mind on your stupid Candy Land theme," she winked as she said it, a coy smile on her face. Peridot felt her face warm at the gesture and the little piece of paper in her hand felt far too heavy for what she knew it really was. Lapis lifted her hand in a mock wave as she left the tiny room.

Peridot watched her leave through the windows, rubbing at warm cheeks. She pushed the image of Lapis's face and a few bubbly feelings at getting Lapis's number out from her mind as she added the phone number on the small paper to her contact list.

She began composing a rough draft of a snappy text message on her walk home.

By nine thirty Peridot had given up much hope on getting a reply back from Lapis. She had probably given her a wrong number on purpose, or maybe she just didn't want to find a solution and wanted to let Peridot lose her high standing with the student council team. Lapis probably wouldn't even care if it cost her her own status. She may be "dedicated" but Peridot had a theory that she was only in it to excuse her questionable behavior and less than exemplary grades. Or maybe she was just doing it to torture Peridot, ever since she had moved to Beach City in the seventh grade Lapis's torment seemed like a constant part of her routine. Maybe this was all a plot to ruin Peridot's senior year.

She nearly jumped off her bed when her phone vibrated in her hands. Peridot smiled softly as she unlocked her phone.

Lapis: you still hanging onto the theme huh?

Peridot's smile dropped and she rolled her eyes at the text, yet she felt a slight bit of relief at finally getting a response.

She replied, Yes. It's much better than 'Winter Wonderland'. Every school has had at least five of those.

After a bit of internal debate, she sent another message.

What took you so long, anyway?

Lapis: it's friday night why are you in a rush

I just wanted to get the conversation over with.

Lapis: well, it might take a while if you're not willing to budge. it might be common, but it's a classic and I don't really see 'candy land' as very holiday-y

People eat tons of sweets for the holidays. There isn't exactly a lack of candy canes this time of year.

Lapis: yeah but when I think the holidays I think snow and the cold not shoving a candy cane up my ass

Peridot rolled her eyes at the vulgar statement. She tried to think of a quip back but found herself at a loss of words.

Haha, you're very funny.

Lapis: youre damn right. im a comedy master. you wouldn't know good humor if it hit you in the face

Can we refrain from going in this direction? I would prefer if we talked about the task at hand. We have to decide on a theme asap.

Lapis didn't respond right away, and Peridot huffed after five minutes, tossing her phone down on the bed, assuming that the blue haired girl had decided to ignore her after all.

When Lapis finally did reply a few minutes later, Peridot glared at her vibrating phone, imagining it were Lapis, before turning it over to look at the message.

Lapis: i hate to agree with you but yeah. and as much as im going to regret this we should probably have this conversation in person

Lapis followed the text with one containing her address.

Like tomorrow? Or?

Lapis: no? like now? get over here nerd before i change my mind

Peridot tiptoed out of her front door, hoping that her mother was busy with work and wouldn't hear the door or notice that she was missing. She pulled the hood of her winter coat up and over her head and jogged down her street until her mother's bedroom window was out of view. She turned off of her street and began walking to Lapis's house.

It didn't take very long, as their tiny town was less the a mile long. She arrived in about fifteen minutes and she knocked on the front door, double checking the address as she did so. After a few moments of waiting nervously in the cold the door opened.

On the other side Lapis stood in her pajamas and after a moment she stepped into the house further, allowing Peridot access.

After Peridot kicked her shoes off near the front door Lapis grabbed at Peridot's hand and began pulling her up the stairs that stood near the front door. When Peridot tried to pull away, her hand was squeezed softly and she was pulled all the more roughly. Peridot ignored the temptation to squeeze back.

She was shoved into Lapis's bedroom with a little more force than appreciated. She tripped over her feet and nearly fell onto the floor. Lapis grabbed at her arm though as she herself walked in, steadying the shorter girl with her strong hold. Peridot's heart beat quickened at the strong hold, and she silently cursed the organ.

Peridot pulled her arm away and glared at the blue haired girl as she rubbed at the place where Lapis's hand had been.

"Sorry," Lapis mumbled softly, walking further into the room and sitting down on her bed.

Peridot was surprised at the apology, but smiled smugly to herself, feeling as if she won somehow. She followed suit and sat down in a blue bean bag chair that was thrown haphazardly in a corner of the room.

Peridot took a moment to look around as Lapis pulled out a notebook. The room was somewhat cluttered, a few pairs of clothing or stray textbooks littering the corners of the floor, but Peridot was glad that despite the items on the floor it looked clean. A large purple rug covered most of the dark wood floor and a similarly colored duvet was thrown on to the unmade bed.

However, what caught Peridot's attention was a game console resting on a small table.

"What do you play?" Peridot asked, pointing at the device, excited that Lapis might share her affinity for video games.

Lapis stopped flipping through the book at the question, before letting out a heavy laugh and dropping her notebook onto her bed, "I thought you wanted to get this over with?" She asked, a smirk on her face, "If you want to rom-com it up and work out our differences that's chill and all, but we do have some time constraints,"

Peridot's cheeks burned, both at the comment as well as her realizing the off topic nature of her question, "Uh, sorry," she stuttered, "Let's, yes, get this," she trailed off, wishing she could unsay what she had said and start this conversation over. Lapis raised an eyebrow as they made eye contact.

"Over with?" She asked.

Peridot nodded, "Yes," her voice squeaked.

Lapis laughed again, and Peridot tried to resent the sound, but she found the sweet jingle necessary in the tense air. She ignored her pounding heart as Lapis looked into her eyes.

Peridot was surprised to find herself hoping into Lapis's car at almost one in the morning early on a Saturday, but nothing about this visit had gone as expected.

In a turn of events, after an hour or so of bickering, Lapis challenged her to a Mario-cart off to decide who's theme would become a reality.

In an even more dramatic turn of events, courtesy of Peridot going a tad bit easy on her, Lapis won the second race. She assured herself that her leniency was for dramatic effect; after all, it would be no fun if she won all three races. But when Peridot tried to regain her dominance and stopped letting Lapis win on purpose, Lapis won the third race too.

Lapis teased her as she jumped up and celebrated her victory, "I thought you were the nerd of us. Guess you're just all talk,"

Peridot blinked at the screen a few more times, before she grumbled, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. She blamed it on being tired and admitted, with perhaps too much passion, to going easy on Lapis. Lapis laughed and assured Peridot that she was just making excuses for her 'shit racing'.

"Let's do a rematch then," Peridot insisted, "If you're so confident,"

Lapis shook her head, "Don't go easy on me next time, Diamond," she flicked Peridot's nose.

"I-" Peridot started, voice indignant, but she found she could not find the right words to argue back.

After a few more jeers, and a few pillows thrown in Lapis's direction, Lapis offered Peridot a ride home. Peridot wanted to deny, wanting nothing to do with Lapis right now, but walking home alone in the middle of the night sounded less than ideal.

They drove to Peridot's house in awkward silence. Peridot tried to think of a way to get Lapis to change her mind on the theme after all. She was left with cotton mouth and a rambling brain.

When the girls pulled up in front of Peridot's house, Lapis lifted her hand in a kind-of wave good bye.

Peridot copied her actions as she got out of the beat up jeep. She turned around as Lapis beeped at her, backing out of Peridot's steep drive way.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you," the blue haired girl yelled out to Peridot from her open windows as she drove back off into the night.

Peridot flipped her off but doubted she saw.

The first hurdle had been jumped, and the people she had know since seventh grade seemed to sigh in unison as Lapis cheerily announced the theme to them. Peridot sat down in her chair towards the front of the art room and crossed her arms in protest as Lapis pulled out the same notebook she had seen in her bedroom on Friday night.

She bit her tongue as Lapis gushed about her image of their Winter Wonderland dance. She wanted to snap out protests but reminded herself she wasn't a sore loser.

Lapis announced that Peridot and herself still needed to decided on who was in charge of making what but safely put a few students in charge of finding a dj who had sunk low enough to work at their shitty dance. She softly announced that she didn't want to have their creepy hall monitor doing it again this year.

A scruffy boy who had taken Lapis to prom the year prior, Peridot though his name might have been Charlie, chuckled as the meeting began coming to what felt like an early close, "How'd you get Diamond to agree with you?" He asked, jokingly. Lapis opened her mouth but Peridot heard it shut tightly with a squeak before she could get any words out.

She glanced up to see what had stopped her and felt her cheeks burn hot at the crude gesture the brown haired boy made, spreading his fingers into a 'v' shape in front of his mouth and sticking his tongue out.

A few of the other students laughed as Peridot and Lapis burned bright hot at the front of the room.

"So that's a yes then?" Maybe-Charlie smirked.

Lapis grumbled something under her breath, and she stomped over to him. She dragged him out of the art room, and they didn't come back for the rest of the meeting.

Peridot felt her head swimming as her cheeks continued to burn as red as a flame. She tried to lead the rest of the meeting without making any executive decisions, although it was tempting. She huffed and eventually let everyone go early, as she was sure Lapis had been close to doing before she had left.

She casually slipped into the parking lot to see if Lapis's jeep was still there. It wasn't. Peridot shrugged it off before she walked home, her cheeks still hot with embarrassment.

The next day the crude boy was not at the student council meeting. Peridot was glad for that small victory.

Things went quicker from that point. A handful of competitions and debates created the fool proof, nit picking system that Lapis and Peridot needed to get decorations and lighting and food organized.

Peridot found herself looking forward to the all nighters she and Lapis begun to pull every Friday night as they went through their plans and organized what had and hadn't been done. Peridot started to find Lapis pleasant to be around, and Lapis's teasing stopped having the sharp bite of hatred it did only a few weeks earlier.

Peridot didn't want to admit it, but she felt that Lapis and herself made a good team.

A few weeks later she stood next to Lapis on their schools tiny stage that faced out into their tiny cafeteria. They barked orders in tandem, if with different directions, to the rest of the student council, who pulled in decorations and placed the poorly made snowflakes and white paper trees around the crowded space.

When the two girls were both semi-satisfied the rest of the student council left until later that day, and Peridot and Lapis made some small last minute touches. One moving things slightly to the left the other taking the the same object and pulling a few steps to the right.

Eventually Lapis huffed out a heavy breath, and laid down on the white tiled floor. Peridot sighed a breath of relief as well. They were done.

"Lay with me," Lapis said softly as Peridot turned to leave the room.

She let out a breath that was meant to be a laugh, "I think I'll pass. These floors do not get cleaned enough,"

Lapis groaned, pulling herself up, "That's too true,"

Lapis followed Peridot as she stepped into the hall. The walked in silence to the student parking lot. Lapis lifted her hand in what might be considered a wave as she drove past Peridot.

Peridot let herself smile, and flipped off the blue jeep in return. She laughed as Lapis's tan arm was shoved out the window, copying Peridot's gesture.

Peridot pulled at her uncomfortable white button up as she stood in the back of the hot, crowded room. She watched with mournful eyes as her beautifully crafted decorations were made fun of and torn down by the football team.

Lapis came out of the crowd holding two tiny paper cups. Peridot tried to focus on those and not the tiniest bit of cleavage Lapis's black dress shared as she continued to walk forward.

"Here," Lapis said shoving one of the cups into Peridot's hand after arriving next to her, "It'll make this slightly less shitty,"

Peridot stared into the bright pink liquid and then up at Lapis again, with wide eyes, "Did you spike it?" She whispered, glancing around to look at the required teacher supervisors nervously.

Lapis smirked at her, an eyebrow raised, "Do you want to know the answer to that question?"

Peridot huffed, and after a long moment of debate took a swig from the cup. Peridot was glad that the drink was not particularly strong, but the slightest bite reassured Peridot's suspicions.

Lapis laughed, "The good girl goes for it anyway. I think I'm wearing off on you,"

Peridot sighed, and let out a nod. She felt a surprising sinking feeling as she realized that she didn't have to speak to Lapis anymore after this. She turned to look at the girl as she took another long sip, emptying her cup. She decided that she was glad that this partnership was over, even if her gut was saying something else.

She let Lapis lead her to the punch, and they refilled their glasses. Peridot grabbed a stale cookie while she was at it.

The two girls stood in the corner of the room for a long time. Watching as their joint project was torn down.

"It was fun while it lasted," Peridot sighed.

Lapis nodded, and grabbed Peridot's cup, she tossed it in the large trash can before pulling Peridot into the heap of sweaty teenagers.

"What are you doing?" Peridot asked, eyebrows raised high. A slow song started, and Lapis grabbed Peridot's hips.

"Dancing with you," she replied calmly. Peridot got the urge to pull away as her cheeks warmed. Instead she let her pounding heart lead her and she carefully wrapped her arms around Lapis's neck. The girls swayed awkwardly as the song carried on. Peridot tried to ignore the several pairs of eyes that glanced in their direction.

Peridot swallowed hard, "I thought you hated me," she whispered, her voice squeaky as Lapis pulled her even closer.

Lapis giggled softly, and Peridot noticed the girls cheeks were pink too.

"Really?" She whispered back, "I didn't think I did a good job of hiding it,"

"What do you mean?" Peridot asked, stepping a tab bit closer to Lapis.

Lapis paused in their swaying, and Peridot nearly tripped over her feet, "You don't know?" Her voice was soft and shaky. Peridot felt her cheeks warm further as she noticed Lapis's were bright red.

Peridot shook her head, looking up into Lapis's eyes. Peridot's heart fluttered.

Lapis let out a heavy breath, as she broke their eye contact, "I have a crush on you," she let out in another whisper, a soft chuckle in her voice. Peridot's eyes widened and she could feel her face go bright red.

"All this time?" Peridot asked, she cringed at how excited her voice sounded.

Her heart pounded loudly as Lapis continued to dance with her. Lapis laughed, a pretty little jingle, into the air.

"It was pretty obvious," she said, wistfully.

Peridot couldn't help but laugh too. Her heart an erratic drumbeat that felt out of place with the slow music she was swaying to. She let her head fall onto Lapis's shoulder as they continued to sway, and Peridot finally let herself fully acknowledge her own crush on the girl that she had been repressing for so long.

"Was mine?" She finally asked, the song reaching a close after far too little time.

Lapis pulled back, her cheeks ablaze, "You-?"

Peridot pulled her closer again, a wide smile on her face and a hammering in her chest. She nodded.

Lapis smiled back, and as the last of the slow song faded away, Lapis pulled Peridot into a kiss. Peridot smiled into it, letting her heart pound heavily behind her chest. Peridot could feel Lapis's pounding in a similar fashion in the way their bodies were squished together.

The world seemed to fade into a mass of unimportant noise as Peridot kissed the girl she had wanted to since some time in seventh grade.

#holiday #lapidot #steven universe #My writing

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missmeikakuna · 5 years

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Chad and the Incel Chapter 6

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

6th Post: [Experiment] (POLL) What do you think of gay men?

At school, Noah saw Chad and immediately looked away. Chad did the same.

As he sat in class, Chad absentmindedly doodled a heart. When he noticed this, a jolt of fear ran through his spine and he scribbled over the drawing. When lunch arrived, Tyrone’s chatter became a blur in Chad’s ears as peridot eyes consumed his thoughts. Despite this, he refused to look at Noah.

On his way to his car after school, he saw a girl with thick-framed glasses who giggled and waved at him. He stared at her with lust in his eyes, but that quickly ended when the memory of Noah putting his glasses back on projected onto his mind.

At home, Chad curled his arm with a dumbbell, a manga in his other hand. When the image of Noah staring at him as he stared back popped up in his head, he dropped the dumbbell and swore as one end fell onto his foot.

The memory was replaced with another, but not of Noah. An image of Chad’s old middle school building flashed in his mind.

The sun woke Chad from his slumber. Well, that and the pencil regularly poking his cheek. He looked up and swore. Almost everyone had left the classroom. Everyone except for the teacher, who was packing her things, and the boy with the pencil in his hand.

Chad gazed at the boy’s face, which was bathed in the sunlight. The boy had a big grin that showed his missing tooth. He wore a pair of round glasses whose size made his face almost disappear. He wasn’t quite bald but had a thin bed of hair on his head. His nose bent a little to the side but he had never complained about it. He smelled strongly of supermarket cologne and his breath, as he laughed his loud, hearty laugh, was minty. When he pinched Chad’s cheek, Chad noticed how warm and sweaty his hands were. This boy was Gerry LeGume. He had been made fun of for his name but took it in stride.

‘What were you dreaming about, Sudan?’

Ah, yes. The nicknames he gave people. Usually, they were based on some sort of pun or similar word to their name. He even called himself either Gus or Matt depending on how highly he thought of himself that day (Gus for his arrogant moods, Matt for his ‘humbler’ moods). He derived these names from a film with his name as the title, a film he hadn’t even seen and yet already decided was genius.

Chad looked away. ‘You don’t dream if you only sleep for a little bit.’ He was kind of lying. He had been dreaming, though that dream swirled around his brain long before he fell asleep.

Gerry’s eyes were wide as if he was staring at a doorway to another world. ‘Is that true?’

Chad shrugged before yawning and stretching his arms. He made sure to continue looking away from Gerry, who reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope.

‘A girl gave me this to give to you,’ he explained. ‘Honestly, I wouldn’t bother reading it. I mean, she’s a coward if she doesn’t give it directly to you. And why write a letter when she could have just asked for your number?’

Chad grabbed the envelope and stared at it, rubbing his thumb against the heart sticker sealing it. He looked back up at Gerry, who was holding his glasses as he stared at him.

‘So watcha gonna do?’

Chad rested his chin on his hand and waved the envelope around with his other hand. ‘I mean, even if she did ask me for my number, I would’ve said no. I’m not looking to go out with anyone.’ Also a lie.

Gerry scoffed a laugh and turned around until he was facing the whiteboard. ‘Gay,’ he said sarcastically, though that sarcasm was lost on Chad, whose eyes travelled everywhere as if looking for an escape.

Gerry stood up and wrapped his arm around Chad’s neck, rubbing the knuckles of his free hand against Chad’s head.

‘You look like a cat that just discovered he got his own tongue,’ he said. Would it be important to mention he had high scores in English, and that he bragged about this constantly?

His body heat quickly transferred to Chad, who felt warm shivers run through his body. The cologne was overwhelming and the laughter-dispensed minty breath tickled Chad’s ear. Chad held his own arms to prevent them from doing something dangerous.

When the proximity became too much to handle, he pushed Gerry away and stood up, picking up his books and running out of the classroom. He raced home, rushed to his room and shut the door closed with all his strength. He stood against the door and slipped down onto the ground.

‘It’s nothing,’ he told himself. ‘I’ve had crushes on girls, so it’s nothing.’ He remembered Gerry’s cologne and changed that sentiment to, ‘I’m nothing.’ He held his knees up to his chin and let sour tears leave his eyes.

He kept crying for a few minutes but then decided to turn on the TV and distract himself. He took a pillow from his bed and put it on the floor, scooting close to the TV. The channel he ended up on when he turned it on was in the middle of a show. In it, a teenage boy was confessing to… another boy? What was this?

The other boy on the show smiled. ‘I thought you liked girls.’

The confessor laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I do, but I like you more.’

More tears fell down Chad’s face, but this time, when they reached his mouth, they tasted sweeter. When the television couple kissed, his heart, no, all of his organs, jumped up. Part of him felt like getting up and dancing but he heard the front door to the house open and decided against it, especially after hearing his mother call out to him.

The next day, he fidgeted in his seat, waiting for school to end. When the final bell rang, he grabbed Gerry’s arm.

‘Can we talk?’

‘Uh, sure? What is it?’

‘I mean in private. Don’t worry I’m not, you know, going to kill you or anything. Not that I ever would! Um… yeah. I just want to talk somewhere no one will hear us.’

Gerry turned his head to the side while still looking at him, but he nodded. After heading out of the building, they went behind it. Chad took a deep breath. Then he did it again. Then a third time. He quickly started to sound like he was hyperventilating.

Gerry laughed nervously. ‘You going to talk? You were acting pretty weird yesterday. What’s going on?’

‘Do you have a crush on anybody?’ Chad sputtered out.

A blush appeared on Gerry’s face. ‘N-No… maybe… yes. Why?’

Chad forced himself to look at Gerry. He put his hands in his front pant pockets and swayed back and forth.

‘I’ve got a crush on someone.’

‘Yeah? Who?’ Gerry asked with wide eyes and a grin.

Chad lowered his head and looked at his feet. ‘You.’ He turned around to walk away but stopped himself when he heard Gerry’s reply.

‘The fuck?’ Chad turned back around and saw a barely recognisable face. It was contorted, Gerry’s nose scrunched up and his eyes narrow. ‘I thought you liked girls.’

Chad moved his arm up to grab Gerry’s arm but didn’t touch it just yet. ‘I do, but… I l-like you... m-more.’ He almost slapped himself for fumbling that line. He took Gerry’s arm but Gerry shoved his hand away, dragging Chad’s heart down to his feet.

‘That’s weird. I didn’t expect you of all people to be a faggot. You don’t exactly act like one. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?’

‘Y-you’re just… I dunno… funny and… nice… and stuff.’

‘If I’m those things, then I don’t deserve to be creeped on by a faggot.’

‘But…’

Gerry passed him, walking at an angle to keep his body as far away from Chad’s as possible.

When school ended the next day and the teacher left the room to collect something, Gerry spoke to some other friends of his on the other side of the classroom, not bothering to lower his voice so Chad couldn’t hear it.

‘It’s freaky, huh? I’ve never met an actual homo before.’ He was sitting on another student’s desk and leaning back on his hands, kicking his legs back and forth.

The boy sitting in the seat at the desk laughed. ‘Yeah, and you wouldn’t expect it. I guess anyone we know could be like that. Creepy.’

Chad shuffled towards them. ‘’m not gay,’ he murmured.

‘What? Speak up,’ a second boy commanded. He was standing next to the desk.

‘I’m not gay.’

A third boy snickered, leaning back on his chair, which was behind the first boy. ‘Then why did you say you had a crush on Gerry?’

‘I like girls but I like him more.’

Gerry groaned. ‘That again?’

The third boy shifted his chair closer, sending a light screeching noise into the classroom. ‘So you’re straight?’

Chad stepped back and put his hands in his pockets again. ‘No… maybe… I don’t know. Maybe I’m both?’

The second boy laughed. ‘You can’t be both. You’re gay or straight. You’re not making any sense. Do you need to be put in a loony bin or something?’

Tears started creeping out of Chad’s eyes and the boys responded with laughter. The sitting ones stood. Together with the already standing second boy, they loomed closer, towering over Chad’s cowering body.

‘So are you a faggot or are you normal?’ Gerry asked.

The boys kept pushing Chad further down with their stares. He felt like a wounded gazelle in front of an entire pride of hungry lions. He did the one thing he could think to do.

He gripped Gerry’s collar and punched him square in the jaw. The pain in his fist mixed with righteousness in his heart to make a confusing concoction. Gerry pushed Chad to the ground and started repeatedly punching him. Chad pulled his arm towards him and bit it. The other boys pounced on Chad, kicking and punching him.

Chad screamed when he felt one of his ribs crack. He lost all energy in his arms and legs and lied there as the boys continued to bash him. The boys heard the voice of a teacher they knew outside the classroom and headed out, shutting the door.

Chad licked his lips and felt like vomiting as the taste of blood poured into his mouth from the crack in his bottom lip. His gums were in pain, just barely keeping their grip on his teeth after his mouth was punched so many times. He could already feel bruises developing on his chest and cheek, the latter of which stung with tears.

When his teacher returned, she shrieked and dropped her clipboard upon seeing his shivering body. She ran to him, kneeled, held him up and called emergency services.

At the hospital, Chad didn’t tell any of the doctors or nurses what happened, keeping his mouth shut, or at least as shut as it could be with swollen lips.

His parents visited him, but they were always preoccupied with their daughter’s latest achievement, reading articles about her on their phones instead of talking to him.

One day, he asked them to show him the website and he saw a recommended article at the end of the one about his sister. In the thumbnail was a tanned, broad-shouldered man with a neck that still managed to look like a tree trunk under his big helmet. He was holding a football up in preparation to pass it to someone.

When Chad was released from the hospital the first thing he did at home was look up gridiron classes.

After the memory ended, Chad lied down on his bed and did nothing, simply looking at the ceiling and wishing he was tired enough to fall asleep.

Noah posed a question to Incels.me before going to bed. When he returned to the site a few days later, he looked at the poll and saw a mixture of views.

Anicel1919- [Experiment] (POLL) What do you think of gay men?

They’re great- 20 votes

They’re good/okay- 19 votes

I don’t care about them- 45 votes

They’re bad- 23 votes

I hate them- 8 votes

He took a deep breath before looking at the comments. The mixture remained.

Yourwaifuistrash- I mean, they’re not fucking femoids all day, so I don’t care what they do with their lives.

ERdidnothingwrong- They’re degenerates. But hey, at least if we keep them with each other, they can give each other AIDS and die out.

Hopelesscel95- Gas to faggots and trannies.

Ropeourlordandsaviour- They’re fine. Lesbians are trash, though. They claim to hate men until Chad gives them a few bottles. Then see what happens. Fucking sluts.

mxsogklash- Some of them are fine, it’s just the ones that act all effeminate that annoy me. It’s also annoying how much sex they get and despite this fact they’re treated like a protected class.

Joshua69- Soy Boy! Soy boy! Lol, I don’t really care, though. For incels there’s no reason to be against gay people.

Lookcel404- Gay men are just coping incels. They can’t get femoids interested in them so they pretend to be something they’re not and, even though they may act happy and with ‘pride’, they’re really miserable because they can’t get femoids. That’s why so many of them off themselves.

After reading through comment after comment, he noticed how tense his arms were. Was this desire, this want, this need just a ‘cope’? Was he lying to himself? Was he going crazy?

He took a few deep breaths. Just before his breaths had completely calmed down, a memory from middle school jammed itself back into his mind.

Noah closed his tabs as his mother entered the room. ‘Whatcha up to?’ she asked.

‘Nothing.’

His parents weren’t ready for the truth. To him, they were still sheep following the words of a book they hadn’t even read. It was them who gave him the worst name possible. There was no way they would be able to understand their son’s ascendance into intellectual godhood.

What activity was blowing his mind and causing him to question the fragile foundations of society? Watching atheist YouTubers, of course!

When his mother left the room, he reopened the tabs and clicked on a recommended video. The host looked different from the others. He was a clean-shaven, muscular Asian man in a sea of bearded white atheists. He had a big pearly smile as he made fun of the logical inconsistencies in Ken Ham’s books.

Noah initially listened to his counterarguments with great interest, but around halfway through the video his attention went elsewhere- the man’s muscles. After a while, Noah stopped paying attention to his words completely and started noticing how the man’s biceps were slightly shiny. He pictured someone rubbing oil over those arms.

After a few seconds of imagination, he closed the tab again and looked at his door. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realised his mother wasn’t there.

His head started spinning and he felt a little sick. He could feel his heartbeat through his ears and, when he looked down at his lap, he swore. He unzipped his jeans. When he was done, his shoulders felt as heavy as an occupied palanquin under the weight of the shame he had placed upon himself. He looked at his hand as if putrid smoke was coming out of it.

The next day was spent trying to act like nothing had happened. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up when he imagined someone chatting with him and him blurting out what happened the previous night. Luckily no one talked to him.

When he returned home, he lied down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He wondered what would happen if he prayed. He doubted something would happen, but then he remembered something his mother always said.

‘A prayer a day keeps the despair away.’

He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes. He whispered his prayer. ‘Hey, god, I doubt you exist because your book makes no sense, but, I mean, on the off chance you are real, you mind giving me a girlfriend? You probably don’t want me repeating what I did last night. Make her a cool girl who’s interested in the same things as me. I want her to be smart. But not too smart! I don’t care if she’s pretty or whatever, just give me someone I can talk to easily. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m bothering with this infantile display of societal conformism. You can’t even hear me.’

The shame returned to his shoulders, as did the imagined smoke from his hand.

A week later, a new student joined the class. Becky White, a girl with messy hair in a ponytail and a constant frown. She scanned the class and sneered at them.

‘I was expecting more competition,’ she said as she turned to the teacher. ‘Are any of these people with an IQ higher than 110?’

Noah raised his hand. Facebook tests counted, right? Becky noted the seat next to Noah and sat next to him with a huff.

‘So, who do you prefer? Xenophanes or Pascal?’ she asked him.

Noah felt a sting from not knowing who either was. ‘Huh?’

‘It’s a very important question. I need to know if you’re a religious conformist or not.’

‘Oh, I’m an atheist.’

Becky grinned and held out her hand. He took it and they shook hands. He couldn’t help but notice how cool, smooth and lacking in sweat her hands were. He gave her a closer look and felt his heart beat just a little faster.

Noah pushed the memory away and watched an anime to let the show occupy his thoughts.

#chad vs incel #chad x incel #bisexual #incel #romance #drama #original fiction #breaking stereotypes #lesbian #Chad and the Incel

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avelera · 7 years

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The War Within: Similarities Between Bilbo Baggins and John Watson, as played by Martin Freeman

A really excellent post about John Watson in Sherlock Season 4 by @thepurplewombat got me thinking about Martin Freeman’s acting, which got me thinking about Bilbo, as is my usual train of thought, and it put me in the mood to ramble a bit.

First of all, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an actor have two characters be so infantilized as Martin Freeman’s roles are with John Watson and Bilbo Baggins. Both John and Bilbo are constantly depicted in fanworks as soft, emotional nurturers who often wear their heart on their sleeve and are the small, yaoi blond sub to their tall, dark, and brooding partner. This baffles me because it is a huge step away from the text, though of course this is all my opinion and I don’t want to come across as telling others how to do fanworks, so allow me to give my perspective.

Martin Freeman is very, very good in both of those roles at showing men at war within themselves. Martin once said the only similarity between Bilbo and John was the actor who plays them, and in that I’d say he’s wrong, or if he’s right it’s because he’s put something of himself so strongly into both roles that it would be uncomfortable to express in an interview. To the latter I cannot comment, not knowing the man personally, but here’s how I see the similarities between John and Bilbo:

Both John and Bilbo are defined by who they were supposed to be in life. John desperately wants to be normal, but more than that he wants to want to be normal. He sees his desire for action and danger, the desire that sent him into war in Afghanistan, as a faultline within himself. He resents the injury that sent him home from the war, where glimpses throughout the series (mostly in the first episode, but later his reaction to seeing Sholto) that the war was one of the high points of his life. More than his injury though, he resents in himself the fact that he misses the war. He wants to be someone who is glad to have been sent home, he wants to be someone who wants to put the war behind him as some sort of embarrassing adolescent phase, one that he’s grown out of in favor of settling down with a job as a doctor, a wife and children.

The reason, I think, for the sheer joie de vivre that we see in John in the first episode of BBC Sherlock, is because Sherlock allows John to be himself. He provides a replacement for the war, as Mycroft observes. For a short time, John is able to forget the war within himself and what he “should” do versus what he wants to do. But the tension returns soon after, as his nagging feeling that he should be working harder to settle down returns in 1.2 the Blind Banker with his dates with Sarah. For a little while we see John hoping he can live the superhero double life, but as this puts stress on his non-Sherlock relationships the tension within him is exacerbated. Can he really have it all, or does he have to choose, as the girlfriend Jeanette first puts into his mind in 2.1 Scandal in Belgravia, between a normal life and a fulfilling one with Sherlock?

I think there is a valid reason why so many fans and fanwork makers project a gay narrative onto John, and that’s because there is an element of struggling with one’s true desires running through the narrative. Like many gay men of a certain time period (and today), he wants to want a wife and children because it is the narrative society has told him he should want. He’s not only never been able to accept himself for who he is, which is a man who loves danger and who is lost, self-destructive, and off-kilter without it, but in addition when he is reminded of society he becomes resentful of the things and people that give him joy in life, namely danger, and Sherlock’s role in it.

I daresay for a little while near the end of season 2, John was close to making a decision in his life between inflicted domesticity and desired danger. He was leaning towards Sherlock, which I think is the root of much of the ship’s popularity. Sherlock and John felt as if they were moving towards being finally open with one another, with accepting one another in their lives as something they needn’t be ashamed of, of moving on past what society asks of them. Again, one of the core plot points of many gay narratives. This all went to hell when Sherlock faked his death, and didn’t take John with him.

John had dared to begin thinking he could buck what society wanted of him, but in return his life-- as he was beginning to build it-- was utterly destroyed. He dared to fly close to the sun, to happiness, and in his hubris he was crushed back to earth by Sherlock’s “death”. He did what many people do when confronted with such a trauma: he retreated back into the past. He made a somewhat superstitious assumption that he had been punished for not wanting domesticity, that he had been slapped down by the universe, and therefore that all that was left to him was to be who he was “supposed” to be - an upstanding member of society, a husband and father.

This is the reason why the revelation of Mary being an assassin was so traumatic in John’s life. Sherlock is back, and Mary is as dangerous as Sherlock, and as dangerous John had been on the battlefield. He had made the assumption that domesticity would protect him from himself, and it had failed. Now he has been burned badly by both sides of the desires in his life. He literally could not win and was horribly punished in both cases, losing Sherlock then losing his wife. Neither side of his personality could taste of anything but failure and grief. So yes, he became angry, he became introverted, as many trauma survivors do, he snapped at the people who represented either side of himself, he was seriously, deeply shell-shocked.

And to a very real extent, Sherlock understands only later what he has done. The reason why the Christmas episode features Watson saving Holmes from the Reichenbach Falls goes the way it does is because Sherlock finally understands that his moment of over self-reliance by leaving John out of his plan to destroy Moriarty’s network is where he lost everything he really wanted. Sherlock’s version of a happy ending is one where he never faked his own death, and never lost John as a result. Had he not faked it, he and John were in the process of fumbling their way towards a happy life together. Unlike every other interpretation of Sherlock Holmes, the BBC Sherlock is one where John is unable to forgive Sherlock for his betrayal, and that in my opinion has poisoned the narrative and left so many viewers dissatisfied, because the show was at its best when it was two men who had no exact word for what they were to each other, but who knew they were better and happier together. Men who were willing to throw society aside in order to complete one another. Sherlock, as much as John, believed he had to be alone because society had shown him no one could accept his eccentricities, so he too was learning that they could ignore the voices outside and build something together.

Adventure died, domesticity was used as a bandage to replace it, domesticity was poisoned, adventure returned only for John to discover that it too was poisoned by his grief and resentment which were in turn caused by the initial trauma of Sherlock’s death.

It may seem a jarring pivot here to suddenly switch to Bilbo Baggins, but indulge me.

Gandalf upon meeting Bilbo again after many years is shocked at what he finds. He had considered young Bilbo to be one of the few hobbits of the Shire with a thirst for something more from life, and a desire for adventure. Yet the man he finds so many years later is an utter homebody who claims to want nothing more from life than the comfort and solitude of his home.

We as the audience have not seen what happened in the intervening years, but we do get some hints from Gandalf: Bilbo’s parents have died, including his mother who loved adventure. He has refused to marry, though he is by all accounts the town’s most eligible bachelor, from the book we know it’s because part of Bilbo sensed he was waiting for something, someone to take him away who year after year never came. I would extrapolate here that the slow decay of time and society had beaten Bilbo into an acceptable, bland person. Not happy as such, but comfortable, and without the energy to change even as he never felt any true joy or purpose. This makes him similar to Martin’s John Watson, something that as an American is somewhat baffling to me and that I would typify as an “English” trait: both feel tremendous pressure to conform to society, while in their hearts they were meant for something different.

We never see Bilbo smile quite so joyfully as when he finally takes the leap and runs out his door. Like John Watson leaving his cane behind and racing through the streets of London, he has rediscovered an inner fire that was thought dead. I hesitate to speculate on a real person, but given the similarities and some tidbits from Martin’s personal biography, I wonder if he has ever felt that split between being a respectable family man versus the glamour and extroversion of his career. Even in “Fargo” we get the sense of a man trapped by domesticity who longs to be something more (in the case of that story, a murderer, but to each his own).

I tend to see Richard Armitage’s Thorin Oakenshield as the “Sherlock” of The Hobbit trilogy. It’s his quest that Bilbo embarks upon, so in a very real way he represents the danger that Bilbo is chasing after. Though Bilbo repeatedly mentions his desire to return to the comforts of his home, he only once attempts to do so and only after he perceives that Thorin (the adventure itself?) has rejected him. Once accepted into this life by Thorin’s embrace of Bilbo and his desire to help, it’s interesting to note that Bilbo never brings up Bag End again. And on Thorin’s deathbed, is is Thorin who reminds Bilbo of his desire to return home. Thorin vividly remembers that speech, perhaps because Thorin too is someone who is seeking home and recognized that desire in Bilbo but arguably from the opposite direction, in that Bilbo is enhanced by the desire to leave home for adventure, Thorin is enhanced by the desire to leave the world of adventure to return home.

What’s so striking about the moment when a dying Thorin urges to Bilbo to go home and live a long life is how confused Bilbo looks. He really does appear to have forgotten about Bag End entirely, just as he’s confused by Thorin’s request for forgiveness. In both cases, he seems utterly baffled that Thorin thought he needed forgiveness, and that Thorin thought Bilbo wanted to return home. Like John Watson on the case, he has found a life that makes him happy, he has forgotten domesticity.

At least, both John and Bilbo forget domesticity until the life they dreamed of building outside it is suddenly, and brutally snatched from them by the death of the person that represented adventure to them. The only two times we see Bilbo cry in the trilogy is over the death of Thorin, once at the moment of his death and the second time at his funeral. Sherlock’s gravestone is the only time we see John lose his composure and give in to tears, at least until Mary’s death. (You would never know it given how often fanworks depict Bilbo and John as constantly in tears, but there you are.)

With Thorin snatched from him, Bilbo can’t even consider remaining in Erebor, not even for a day after the funeral. This wouldn’t be so odd, given the emphasis the character has placed on returning to Bag End, if not for what happens when he finally returns to Bag End.

Bilbo’s return to Bag End is strikingly not a happy ending. After disrupting the auction of his belongings, Bilbo enters an empty, grey home that is in ruins in much the same manner as Thorin’s Erebor. Both homes were ransacked by greed, both leave the returning hero bereft and under the sway of evil, cursed gold. Our last glimpse of young Bilbo’s face is almost demonic as he smiles down to one comfort remaining in his life: Sauron’s Ring. For all that The Hobbit trilogy is about the desire to return home, in both cases we learn that home is perhaps the most dangerous and toxic place for our characters to return to. The domestic has been corrupted, the only purity lies in adventure and the road, where Bilbo returns as soon as he is free (60 years later) of the Ring’s influence.

Why did Bilbo return home? Because he wanted to, because Thorin asked him to, because he felt it was the right thing to do? Whatever the case, we see it is a bad place for him, a place where he is utterly alone with his demons. John Watson is not so different, we rarely see him truly smile when he is not on the case with Sherlock, yet he feels continuously compelled to go on dates, to marry, to settle down, to raise a family that he seems ultimately unable to connect with because it’s not where his true passions lie. Bilbo, by the way, never marries.

Both John Watson and Bilbo Baggins, as portrayed by Martin Freeman, are men caught between their soul’s desire for danger and adventure, and their society’s desire for them to stay home and conform. Freeman’s tremendous acting ability, especially his talent for showing a character thinking two things at once, enhances this aspect, or perhaps places it in both of characters in the first place. Perhaps it is something that comes from within the man himself. Perhaps it’s just a character he feels he understands for other reasons. But the popular fanon of John or Bilbo being domestic, protective nurturers has always rung false to me. They are both men of action who have been forced to be otherwise by a society that wants to soften them. But there is anger within them, there is rage, there is an adventurer that loves danger more than comfort longing to get out, and that inner turmoil sets up within them an endless inner war.

#bilbo baggins #martin freeman #john watson #bbc sherlock #the hobbit #my meta #bilbo #johnlock #bagginshield #thilbo

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ableism-in-anime · 5 years

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Mikaela Hyakuya and Krul Tepes: The Vampire Queen and the Golden Seraph: A Romance

Property rights belong to Kagami Takaya, Yamamoto Yamato, Furuya Daisuke, Shueheisa, Inc., and Shonen Jump and the numerous scanlators and translators of the online manga Seraph of the End. (終わりのセラフ)

This a Mika x Krul meta that I wrote two years ago yesterday.

If you have not been hiding under a rock in the world of Seraph of the End (終わりのセラフ) then you will have come to know the ship Yuumika or Mikayuu, which is the romantic pairing between Hyakuya Yuuichiro and Hyakuya Mikaela.

However, this essay will focus on the relationship between Krul Tepes and Mikaela Hyakuya, and why I believe it is a possibility of a romantic relationship between them.

When we first meet Krul Tepes and Mikaela Hyakuya, it is on opposite sides. Krul is a vampire, the Queen of Japan and over one thousand years old. Mikaela Hyakuya is an eight-year old human orphan whose parents had abused and abandoned him years before. On that day, Mikaela Hyakuya and the other orphans, including Yuuichiro, were supposed to be killed. Unknown to them at the time, Mikaela and the others had been human experiments by the Hyakuya sect, being known as “Seraphs.”

Krul, as the Queen of Japan, had a duty to kill all the Seraphs in the Hyakuya orphanage. However, she did not. Instead, what did she do? She transported the Hyakuya orphans into the underground city and kept them as livestock. Livestock, yes, having their blood taken by vampires, but alive. Why would Krul do such a thing?

In the first chapter of the manga, Mikaela is depicted as a cheerful and bright individual that taught Yuuichiro the meaning of family. He was the leader of the orphans, and selflessly gave his blood to Ferid in order for the orphans to have a better life. It is noted that the orphan has a nickname, Mika. His family members, including Yuuichiro, call him this as opposed to his full name. At age twelve, Mikaela and his family try to escape from the underground city, but Ferid catches them.

Mika’s arm is detached from his elbow, and is bleeding heavily from his wounds as Yuuichiro believes he is the last survivor of his family. Bodies of their family members surround him, and Mika is grateful that at least Yuuichiro got away. Several vampires come onto the scene are shown in Mika’s flashback in chapter 5 of the manga, and they immediately see Ferid on the floor with a surviving human child. One vampire raises his hand to kill Mika, but –

Krul enters the manga for the first time. Her first official line in the manga is to stop the unknown vampire to kill Mika. Her second line is “This human belongs to me.” At first glance, Krul appears similar to a child. With light pink hair and gothic clothing, she does not look like a queen in charge of thousands of her kind. However, it is immediately disregarded when she address Ferid.

She scolds him for killing “her” Seraphs and notes that one is dying. Ferid comments on her conduct, telling her that the Seraphs were supposed to be killed. He added that he should bring the matter to the Senior Council when Krul snaps and detaches his arm out of anger. After Ferid walks away, Krul focused on the dying Mika. She crouched down to her knees and tastes his blood for a moment before offering to give him eternal life. Mika weakly refuses.

Smirking darkly, Krul bites her lip with blood flowing down her chin as she crouches down onto Mika and…

Kisses him.

Mika screams as half-formed tears appears in his eyes. However, his emotion at this point is not the focus.

Krul could have turned Mika any way she wanted to. She had the power, knowing that he was a dying human. Instead, she kissed him to transfer the blood into his mouth. It is known that vampires are disgusted by any show of human affection and form of intimacy between humans. Why then, did Krul choose to kiss Mikaela Hyakuya in one of the most infamous ways of human affection?

We do not yet know of the relationship Krul and Mika had during the time-skip. However, we do know that Krul had been giving Mika her blood to feed as opposed to human blood. During the time shortly after Mika was transformed into a half-vampire in chapter 11, both the half-vampire and vampire were in her throne room. Krul is facing Mika, who is gasping as a human child is held captive in the room. Krul encourages Mika to drink. The blond continues to refuse. Krul then cuts her arm, and allows her blood to flow onto her wrist. Mika becomes agitated.

Crying with tears rolling down his cheeks, Mika continues to feed on Krul’s blood. However, Mika feeding on her blood is not easy for Krul.

She is sweating and breathing hard. It is not easy for her.

Still.

“You’re my dog now. My loyal servant…for all eternity.”

This sentence may cause some confusion among the readers. So then, does Krul only see Mika as her dog for all time? No. Look how she embraces him.

In hiragana, ぎゅうtranslates as hugging. However, the English version misses it completely. It is not a simple gesture of affection; it translates as a “big hug,” if you will.

Why does Krul initiate so much physical contact that her kind hate?

In addition to this note, chapter 43 has a mention of Mika’s reference to Krul. In the English translation, Mika stated that she raised him. However, in the Japanese raws, the kanji Mika uses is 飼う (かう, ramaj: kau), which is translated as to keep (as a pet or an animal). It can also translate as to feed, as in an animal in a morbid sense. However, does Krul truly treat Mika that way?

You would think with Mika’s hatred of vampires and self-hatred of himself because of what he is would cause him to hate the vampire who turned him. He hates Ferid, the one who wounded him to cause him to be turned into a vampire in the first place and slaughtered his family. But he does not hate Krul.

He cares about her.

When Mika was summoned by Krul, the pink-haired vampire was putting her blood into a vial for him. However, Mika was so thirsty that he caused the vial to shatter onto the floor as he roughly latched onto her neck. Any viewer of this scene would believe that Krul would be angry at Mika for his rough treatment. But she was not. Instead, Krul was amused at Mika’s actions. Mika, as soon as he regained his senses, looked horrified and apologized to Krul.

Look how at the sweat drop on his face, and of how violently he pushes Krul away from him.

“Oh…I-I’m sorry, Krul. I-I lost control.”

Since being turned into a vampire, Mika normally has an apathetic expression. Self-hatred and guilt over his family’s deaths, and thinking about Yuuichiro made him a shell of her former bright self, and he does not associate with many other vampires. Unless it is with Yuuichiro, Mika’s expression remains apathetic and dead. However, the concern on Mika’s face is not only limited to situations involving his last remaining family member. The emotional Mika is also present with his interactions with Krul.

During the senior council meeting, Krul looks shocked to see Mika there.

Later she states:

“Eight years ago I eliminated the Hyakuya sect. Every last one of the guinea pigs in the Hyakuya orphanage…who bore the Seraph gene…I killed with my own two hands.”

But she did not.

The Queen allowed one to escape with another by her side. After the meeting, Ferid and Krul converse about the Seraph of the End project again. Ferid explicitly tells Krul that meddling with Seraph of the End is a death sentences for vampires. However, Krul states nothing. When alone, Mika begins to question Krul and her motives. Krul then holds his hand and squeezes’ it behind his back, causing Mika to collapse onto the ground.

“I could end a puny life like yours.”

Krul continues to state of the reasons why Mika depends on her: feeding on her blood. She then releases Mika, telling him to trust her. She then tells him the reason why she is researching Seraph of the End. Mika is shocked, but Krul smiles and calls him “my selfish son.”

Now, many of you might also question of why I believe there could be a romantic relationship if Krul considers Mika her son. However, let us look at the relationship of another two characters: Hyakuya Yuuichiro and Ichinose Guren.

A year after Yuuichiro escapes and is confused for Guren’s son. Guren later corrects then but immediately calls him “his kid.”

Two other moments.

Guren treats Yuuichiro as his son, and sees his former self in the young man. However, does Krul treat Mikaela Hyakuya in a subordinate position, or treat him as an equal? I agree with the latter.

In the Japanese raws, vampires refer to the vampire they turned as 子(こramji: ko), which translates as child. However, Krul called Mika her son (息子、むすこ, romaji: musuko), which indicates her affection for him.

Krul orders Mika to find Yuuichiro. The vampire knows that Mika loves Yuuichiro and would do anything to get him back, and instead of giving him a mission to slaughter humans, she gives him an order to which corresponded to one of his deepest dreams. In another note, Krul referred to Yuuichiro by his nickname that his friends and family call him, which indicates that Krul cares for Yuuichiro because he is important to Mika.

When the Seraph of the End is revealed, Mika takes Yuuichiro and Krul tells him not to give his brother to the humans and that they should escape. The three are about to escape when Ferid appears with Crowley as a diversion and bites Krul on the neck.

She tries to make a deal with him, but look at this:

Krul stopped trying to make a deal with Ferid and…was more concerned with Mika.

Not herself.

Not the Seraph or the Seraph of the End.

But only Mika.

Krul tells Mika an incomprehensible message as a conflicted expression appears on Mika’s face before yelling at him to leave.

He does not want to leave, but she has told him to.

It is noted that Ferid stated that if he drinks too much of Krul’s blood, she would die. Why then was Krul giving Mika her blood for years despite the knowledge that she would die if a vampire drank too much? Why did she smile when after Mika regained his senses when he could have possibly killed her?

It is revealed in the later chapters that Krul being chained to her throne, bloody and unconscious. She is later seen hung upside down, blood slowly dripping onto the ground. Krul then reunites with Sato, one of the ancient vampires, and reminisces about a time one thousand years ago. Her older brother Ashura Tepes became a demon one thousand years ago to protect both of them. Krul had begged him not to, crying as she stated she didn’t want to live in this world without him.

It is unusual for a vampire as powerful as Krul to refer to her own kind as monsters. However, it is noted in the series that vampires usually begin hating of who and what they are, and attempt to resist any type of temptation human blood has to offer. However, vampires crave nothing but blood. If they do not drink blood, then the vampire turns into a demon. It was revealed in later chapters of the manga and the light novel that vampires begin to lose their human emotions. Shortly after being turned into a vampire, Crowley began to forget the faces of his comrades and of why he wanted to kill Ferid for turning him into a vampire. In the Japanese text, the sires of vampires refer to the vampires they turned as child. However, Krul did not refer Mika as her child. Instead, she referred to him in a more intimate form.

But I do not believe that her affection for him is a mother’s love for her son.

Mikaela hated himself for being a vampire and wanting to feed on human blood as Krul once did. It was also noted that vampires lose all human emotions at some point, and Mika himself noted that he is losing his feelings and love he had for his family except for Yuuichiro. Mika and the others are present when the punishment for Krul and Ferid is read. For ten days, Krul and Ferid were tied to crosses and placed into direct sunlight for ten days. There was also a possibility of both of them having the punishment for eternity. Both Ferid and Krul screamed from the agony and pain. Crowley commented on the punishment both vampires had to undergo, and did not appear to be concerned about Ferid’s agony. Mika continued to stare at Ferid as his body burned almost black in the sun, burning and screams of agony and horror echoing in the atmosphere. However, if Mika had no feelings for what happened to Krul, then why

Would this be his face?

Why would Mika have to look away when all the vampires didn’t care, including Crowley who seemed unaffected at Ferid’s agony?

Why would Mika look sad when Narumi mentioned Krul?

Yuuichiro states in the manga that they should save both Krul and Ferid. Mika had asked for what he would do, and agreed. At this point in the manga, the plot is focused on what occurred on the Apocalypse and the relationship between Guren and his squad, and their history with Hiiragi Mahiru.

It could be ten or twenty chapters before Yuuichiro, Mikaela, and the others save Krul and Mika.

Why does Krul want the Seraph of the End? Why did she choose to save Mika? Why does she care about him more than any vampire would?

The reason, I believe, is simple. Krul understands what Mika is going through. She has been where he is with her own brother who disappeared for one thousand years as a demon by being sealed in a sword belonging to Hiiragi Mahiru and then Hyakuya Yuuichiro. It can be argued that Krul only wants Mika to get to Yuuichiro, but I do not believe this is the case. Originally, perhaps, that was her end. However, I do not believe this is her intent.

Despite one thousand years passing, Krul is still the small child with tears in her eyes. She wants to see her brother again. Guren choose to revive his friends at the cost of so much life. I predict that Seraph of the End has the power to revive demons, vampires, into life once more. Krul wants the Seraph of the End to revive her brother Ashura in order to not being separated from him ever again.

This scene is almost exactly the same.

It could be ten or twenty chapters before Yuuichiro, Mikaela, and the others save Krul and Mika.

Why does Krul want the Seraph of the End? Why did she choose to save Mika? Why does she care about him more than any vampire would?

This scene is almost exactly the same.

“No! Don’t go with him! Who cares about some damn future? Don’t go! Don’t leave me alone in this world without you!”

“Yuu…forget about all of them and run away with me!”

“I’m your only true friend! I won’t try to deceive you! Those humans are only trying to use –”

Both participants wouldn’t give a shit if the world ended, or if everyone else would die. All Mika – and Krul – want is to have their brother by their side, and to never lose them again.

Because they are the light for their humanity.

Krul knows that Mika hates being a vampire. She had said before that there was no way for him to die in a normal way after being turned into a half-vampire. Therefore, despite the risk of Mika turning into a demon, Krul allowed him to drink her own blood despite causing her pain not because he is her pawn, her dog, or her son. Why then, after one thousand years, is Krul so kind to this former “live-stock?” Human emotions are supposed to have faded away from this time, but yet Krul is unflinchingly human in regards to Mikaela Hyakuya.

Krul Tepes loves Mikaela Hyakuya.

If the Seraph of the End is obtained, then there could be a possibility that Mika could become human again. That is Mika’s dearest wish, along to be with his brother Yuuichiro. We do not know if Krul would allow him to become human again, but we do have the interaction between them in chapter 41.

Krul did not gloat or smile at the sight of Mika turning into a vampire. She did not react in a way that she had before, smiling darkly. Compare this to before.

There was none of this in that chapter.

Krul simply told him that it was time to go with Yuuichiro.

She cares about Mika, not more about him being a vampire, in the end of the chapter.

Mika stated during the drive to Osaka that he is not certain if he trusts Krul. Why? The former Queen of Japan has been the only vampire kind to him during the four years of separation with Yuuichiro, and yet he stated that he is not certain of trusting her. It is because she is a vampire. Vampires were taught to be inhumane, and thinking of only blood and treating humans like live-stock. However, vampires are no more inhumane than vampires. They have a side to them that many are not willing to see.

Krul, did not, treat Mika as “live-stock.” The blond vampire continues to see the world with a narrow perception, and his view of Krul mainly as a vampire. What is Krul was human? In the famous chapter 13, there is this exchange between Mika and Ferid:

“Yes, I do hate humanity. But I hate vampires too.”

“Ooh, whatever shall you do?”

Mika hates vampires and humans. However, the only exceptions to this rule are Yuuichiro and Krul. A human and a vampire. Yuuichiro is the only family Mika has left, then what is Krul?

If she is not his mother or the vampire who used him as “live-stock,” then who is she to him?

#mikaxkrul #hyakuya mikaela #krul tepes #vampire #owari no seraph #guren ichinose #manga spoilers #light novel spoilers #romance

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