#i really rambled a bit but its 1am now and im feeling some kinda way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weltonreject · 4 years

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08.17.20

re: trying new things (a la journaling!)- i've been watching a lot of like, morning routine/aesthetic montage of coffee drinking @ 5:30am/ peaceful definitely idealized and intentionally scenic daily life videos a lot recently. and it's definitely inspiring (?) as i creep closer to moving out, esp in contract to the dark academia and study/"productivity" posts i keep feeding myself in order to picture how i want to have my days look, and go into my new home with intention.

i'm personally, um, not doing very well at this particular moment (hence the inconsistent writing, answering, and posting) and living alone has not seemed like the best idea. but watching these videos and getting advice for journaling (which I'll respond to more directly asap thank you for all the tips btw love y'all xo) has been both incredibly intimidating to a part of me that needs things to be Perfect or Else, but also encouraging for me to not sabotage myself before i even get TO my own living space where i can craft a morning routine or budget or diet or Self.

i want to pick out ways to decorate my room in the most pretentious & DA way because why not? i want to start a morning routine of note taking and reading and tea! i want to learn a third language and fold that into my routine! i want to take back learning and care and independence without a grade over me.

but i also know that this excitement is very reactionary. i'm not well. and it's weird to say. and weird to look at these DA aes posts and have them be a... "positive" (???) example of things i can "do" if i get help and get better. i can include those kind of studying/learning (out of school)/gloomy autumnal Vibez into my life if i take care of it enough to actually have energy to shape it.

DA is obviously not the end all be all and should not be a priority to anyone's life purpose/self/identity etc. like. we know this. but in living alone i am getting the chance to indulge in all that stupidly and wonderfully pretentious things we all love about our favorite books and characters and films-- and frankly, each other! it's exciting to think i'll be able to read in all my free time at work and not have a grade to dictate the notes or research i do (or why i'm doing it at 3am...) or i can try new teas and coffees with my morning routine of peace and quiet (and my new habit of piano-based film scores). i feel inspired to be excited and excited to be excited...

i guess this counts as beginning steps to daily journaling, but i'm saying it here because... i don't know, there's something about the performative nature of seeing Aesthetic Journaling that has actually come full circle and gotten me to ACTUALLY do it, rather than fret over perfection. and do it in a way that keeps me accountable? like, i know i am not doing well-- but i didn't want to just write about that (here) and enforce that Poor Coping Mechanisms Hype. i also didn't want it to slip past myself, as it would by staying in a more private place (bc i know myself, not bc i think all feelings should be public instead), that i am feeling slightly energized to... frankly, save my own life.

i want to bookmark that i do want to make a very brooding (and healthy) little slice of post-undergrad, grad school life for myself in the coming months. i want to... feel good enough about my situation to buy myself some fucking furniture? and to plan on literally purchasing groceries as a regular habit? and take care of my life, even if i want it "follow" a certain Energy that's all about academia and being a nitwit in a tweed coat yellin' about homoerotic subtext in "classic" literature...

i want to say this, mostly for my dumb ass, to remind myself that bitch you are excited. there are things to look forward to creating, even if you feel anxious about it needing to be perfect. this is also a way to have things pre-written when i, eventually, need to call my own self out to my friends and say that i need some help. a little support and supervision to this new life i have complete free reign over; if my excitement is reactionary, my destructive behavior can be the same way.

this is already way too long. this was literally just supposed to be about watching a "my 5:30am routine" and feeling like i want to make a very mindful and unplugged routine to read and make my own coffee every day. that was it. but then i remembered... that there's a lot more i have to do before i can even consider making "morning ritual✨" content and posts and videos or whatever to share with y'all (bc if I get into this grad school i do want to start sharing stuff that relates to my new reading lists and study habits and writing methods blah blah blah we get it Mitchell you want to engage with people who have your interests SHH). before i can do that, i have to like. be healthy enough to have any of that be healthy, and not just an avoidance technique. or literally a way to make myself worse (and i mean d**d, technically).

so, somehow, still writing. needing to shut up. but, i wanted to say something for myself, but in a way that can be pointed to like "hey, mitchell, you uhhhh work on this at all, or are you just Politely Not Seeing It??" (providing i get to a worse place in which i am not communicating these thoughts to my irl friends i am moving closer to... although no one here is obligated to look after me. at all. to be clear.)

life is cool, man. i really like filling it with depressing and sorrowful literature and theory because it's interesting, but it's cool. it's cool to be alive for, ya know? life is worth being alive for to shape and create to your own liking. that's literally the point. and i forget thag. constantly.

hope life is cool to you. i think you're very cool for being here, alive today. sending you my warmest regards (or maybe coolest bc summer & motifs)...

sto lat.

mitchell k.

#journaling #personal #mental health talks sprinkled into general positive-ish life updates and realizations #nothing detailed but like. in case the vibes could harm your current state of peace etc just lettin ya know!#i really rambled a bit but its 1am now and im feeling some kinda way #long post #post grad periodical

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riskeith · 3 years

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good morning love! (or afternoon for you hehe)

deku vs kacchan part 2 is my favorite ep of the entire series actually. i’ve watch that ep so many times as well it’s just perfect. i got into them when i watched that episode actually! the voice acting god..... literally shivers. now that i think about it it might even be my favorite anime ep of all time help. i just love how bakugou lets it all out and we get to see that side of him.. the insecure scared child he tries to hide. god i could ramble about it forever idk just love it. OH YOU WATCHED THE MOVE RIGHT AFTER? a scene with bakugou and todoroki is guaranteed a good time.. and they work so well together. haha that’s such a nice coincidence tho their dynamic is great in that movie even if it’s mostly kiribaku sjsksjk. what do you think about kiribaku btw?

RIGHT!!! at least we have a couple days to decide hihi.... paimon no longer emergency snack.. only seelie. 🥴 oooh? what kind of thing have you envisioned? (if you wanna share ofc!)

i’ve seen so many people mention that!! like one of the worst parts of the game is that in the higher level you get the less there are to do.. ssjksjdk at some point all you can do is grind domains and try to level up shdkdfhdj

LEVEL 40 INTO A LEVEL 70+ FIGHT ok that’s honestly hilariously brave doesn’t she like die right away 😔 oh yeah you’ll be leveling up Again soon *praying for you*... can’t believe they don’t keep the easy bosses anymore sjdkfh that’s so rude. this game is just grind grind grind. WE NEED A BENNY STORY SO BADLY. like imagine a story with him wanting to seek out diluc because he wants to learn how to fight from a master or something like that. i saw it in a comic and i can’t stop thinking about it 😭 all of them deserve stories!!! there’s so many ways they could make it happen pls mihoyo... chongyun x xingqiu story... <333

shfkjdskdjhf nope right now i’m playing with noelle as my main damage dealer, traveller, lisa and barbara actually. so i think i have a pretty good balance atm.. 2 long range 2 short range-ish. i usually trade out barbara for another character if i have to tho, hehe. that’s only combat though ^ benny is with me when we explore. mood is me having a 5 star and not even using her... i still need to think of ways qiqi could fit into the group yk. is your group still looking the same as before? ooooh if you could rank the elements what would your ranking look like?

172!!!!! that’s a bit short though when you said tall i thought like... 190 or something sjksjdxk. wait how tall are You?

oh i just meant like... people bashing others for spending too much money on the game vs those that bash people for not spending money and complaining that they don’t get 5 star etc? idk yt comments can be so ugly though so it’s a good thing that you don’t read them sjdjdjdkd

that’s super smart!!! you just follow along the plan and delete when you come to the part. must feel so satisfying too i imagine. haha, what little notes i have i put in the notes app and just check up on when i need to. sometimes i even forget they’re there shdkdhsks. my notes are filled with half-assed dialogue or random one words notes that don’t make any sense to me anymore.. nskdhddjdj

you’re right!! so you write at night? sometimes i just open docs on my phone and write a bit before i sleep and when i wake up it’s either a grammatical mess or just... super bad hskshd the brain is simply too tired to create anything shakespeareian

nooo i’ll def check these out and let you know what i think. i’ve seen halsey being in pretty much every klance playlist on spotify so i imagine she portrays their vibes pretty nicely. doesn’t she have a song she sings about being blue and red or something... shdjfhdj such a bad description but i see it being used in edits a lot. also now that i think of it melanie has a song called pacify her that i really like!! do you like it?

THATS SO CUTE YOU ARE A CRYBABY. 🥺 same here tbh i actually like crying sometimes... sjskdjdjd like you said it just feels nice to get it all out. i cry to almost movie or series or book i read i’m a super emotional person but i also think it adds to the experience? you feel more immersed in it that way.

RIGHT??? ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! and it’s our boys 😭 and they’re cuddling 😭 under the sun 😭 ssjdjdhdjdj 😭

can’t wait to hear from you again <3 yours, ma <3

good night! more like ahhah

:o!! that’s so legendary of them wow.. <33 and yeah honestly the voice acting is phenomenal.. and all the implications behind the fight too? bakugou finally opening up? midoriya understanding that what he needs is to fight him? ugh. kiribaku is fine! fhdsjfks my brain is so full of todobaku that any other ship is really just... in the background hfskjfs but i can appreciate the relationship they have! with kiri being the only one bakugou has really acknowledged and seeing as being on the same level, that iconic hand clasp when bakugou was being rescued... i have a kiribaku fic in my drafts but idk if i can ever get to it ahha. you like them a lot right?

ikkk also i didn’t know we had to wait until the very end to buy? i have more than enough to buy it rn but when i clicked it said ‘must explore area 14 first’ and i was just... bruh. AHAHAH. okay so in my mind it’s like.. chongyun at a funky angle we’re kinda looking up at him and his body is like bent down towards us fhsdkjs idk how to describe it but i can picture it very well but i also cannot put it to paper/screen. and then his clothes are just black instead of white! HAHAH. tho i kinda wanna see if i can draw a xiao first to offer up to the gacha gods hfsdjkfs (and if i can i’ll do a version w a dark outfit too for u hehe)

legitttt im literally just logging in and grinding the talent domains every day fhsdkjfhskfhjd there are some artifacts i want as well but the domain is literally SO difficult for me fuck.

i just go in and use her skill then heal a bit and switch right away fhsdkjfsd it going alright! and then i go ham with my other 3 charas and switch back to her to heal again fhskfjd. OMGGG that’s so cute please... i miss diluc too... come back!! i wish we had a way to replay the old quests even if we get nothing out of them like i just wanna experience it again ya know.

oooo! that’s pretty nice. hfskjd you could switch barbara out for qiqi! since she’s a healer as well. omg wait you have lumine right? so your combat team has no males? legendary 😩 we love fighting queens! ya! traveller, chongyun, xiangling, fischl. and then i switch depending on the domain/boss i’m gonna fight. hmm elements I think would go: anemo, cryo, electro, pyro, hydro, geo, dendro? LMAO i reckon if i had diluc tho pyro would be higher... i also almost forgot to add geo to that list lmaooooooo oops, hbu??

I JUST SAW THE LINK.... AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! the bestest boys look how cute they’re sjdkfjdjjdd i’m obsessed. the picture where benny has his back turned sjdudjdjddnd stop. 🥺 they’re so neat. 🥺 also NO ARE YOU SERIOUS? that’s so upsetting are you gonna try it out nonetheless or do you think it’s too risky?

they’re SO neat!!! and bennett facing the other way was so fhskjfd yeah cute <3333333 I KNOWWW IM SO SAD :((( and no...... im not gonna try 😭😭😭 i told my brother about it too and he asked how many rolls i was at and i said 70 and he was straight up ‘you can’t try then’ and i was like ‘i know 😔😔’. @ xiao... i am giving up xingqiu rate up for you 😤😤😤😤 ugh i hope i can still get xingqiu in xiao’s banner tho even tho the chances will be shit. are you gonna roll ganyu’s banner?

FHSKJFSD NOOOOOO don’t tell me 172 is average for you wtf... (apparently the average male height in japan is 160cm! for reference ahah) and i myself am. one hundred and. fifty something cm hfsdjfhskjdfhskdjfhw9uehdsifhwsdkjfhsdkfhsd 😔 big sighs lmaoooooooo. how tall are you? (im assuming much taller 😔😔😔😔😔)

ooh notes app? nice ahaha. fhdkjfhskfsk hdthat’s the mood tho! if i don’t have my laptop with me i’ll write out everything on notes first then transfer to my laptop~

AHAHAH yeahhh i think mostly i do? bc during school times i’ll only write after i’m done with my work which = night time. for a while Peak writing time for me was like 1am lmfao but i do that in a like half-asleep half-conscious state so when i come back the next day at a “normal” time i run into the same issue as you fshdfkjshfs

she does!!! it’s called colours 😩 but i think the one i related to voltron most is control! there was this really good shiro edit with that song i still remember it to this day <3 yeah i do!!! i like most of melanie’s songs actually ahahah. i think my favourite for a while was show and tell~

it totally does!! like it’s satisfying as well you know... like the characters have gone through so much and you experienced that with them so it’s natural to get emotional about it. that reminds me, what kind of books do/did you read? did you read all Those YA novels ahah talking about crying has reminded me how i cried reading those..

<333 i wanna be there with them 😩 actually no i want to BE them 😩😩😩

eager for your response <33 love, c.r.

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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someone-always-cares · 4 years

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[image description: a q&a for the webcomic someone always cares. full desc under the cut because its long and wordy sorry]

post chapter 3 Q&A

first - previous - next

thanks for yalls questions!! it was fun to answer! if anyone still has questions feel free to ask whenever i am always 100% down to ramble. even if i did go slightly off topic in some answers

additional: went off topic with the hair question a bit. their bright hair is all part of the transformations. regular hair dye does exist though. best way to tell is that if the eyebrow matches the hair its probably not dyed. also, quartz’s hair is naturally ginger.

also for more on ages, check out the character bios here

also was gonna keep this in the tags but thought i might as well actually try to answer it: the question i found it hardest to answer was someone the song one. my taste in music is. a mess really. ive been listening to like the same 5 songs on repeat all day. more under the cut because i was rambling again and now its uhhh half 1am

if it helps at the time of answering that specific question i had home by cavetown on repeat, and that song reminds me of both rami and lewis. but that may be because i project onto those two a lot, and as a aro trans dude. who sucks with people skills, yeah of course i love that song.

specifically the vibes of like not knowing how to communicate (rami is fine with his friends but other people are different), the lines “ Turn off your porcelain face, I can't really think right now and this place, Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane” idk what the porcelain face line is supposed to mean but im picturing it as like. a mask. that you need to take off and stop hiding and rami does tend to hide when hes feeling upset, and the next two lines kinda could tie into that, like the feeling of when youre overwhelemed and just want the world to stop so you just hide somewhere. also the colours could go with chapter 3 with the chromatic abberation.

also the bit with “ my eyes went dark, I don't know where, my pupils are, But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here” just kinda sums up ramis whole hero thing with his powers and all. anyway this has turned into less what songs rami would like and why this particular song reminds me of him and lewis (lewis specifically has the hair cutting/chest hiding, [big transmasc mood], and also messy haired trainwreck who doesnt know who he is yet. also the ghosts bit)

i did end up picking upbeat songs because ramis a dude who like to try and be upbeat even if things arent. even if hes not really feeling it he will pretend to.

[full description: Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: “hi ily!!! do characters like quartz who have colored hair have that naturally or did they dye it?”

“its both natural and not! while most supers can do a magical girl ish transformation, including a change in hair colour, there are some exceptions.”

theres two small full body drawings of rami, one in civilian clothes, one fully transformed.

“if a superhero were to have a biological child, the child will inherit the powers of the parent(s). however, the child will not inherit the full transfromation. they do inherit any physical transformations, but not the outfit.”

theres a drawing of a woman in blue, quartz’s mother, fully transformed, holding her mask in her hand, smiling down at a much younger quartz as a child. hes smiling back up at her with the same blue eyes, pointy ears, and blue hair, but hes still in normal clothes.

“in the case of quartz, both of hisparents had superpowers, and he inherited those powers and the physical transformations.he can also pick and mix whatphysical traits to change.“

next is a headshot of adult quartz, his face split down the middle with one side having hair and eye like his mother, the other like his father. theres a list of traits from each parents, blue hair and eyes and pointy ears from his mum, and purple hair and eyes and pointy teeth from their dad.

“Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: Are all the characters the same age? If not, how old are they? Are they irl friends or just superhero friends?”

theres some headshots of rami and his team lined up with ages labelled: cam is 15, rami himself is 17, lin, mateo, and dante, are all 18, and cap is 20.

“rami and xandra were somewhat friends before she got superpowers, so when, after the incident with her old team, she found rami had developed powers, xandra stuck close to him. their other teamates started off as superhero friends but soon turned into irl friends too”

theres a headshot of lewis and jade. theyre both 17

“when lewis first decided to start being a vigilante,jade quickly found him and decided to help train himand offered to be a mentor of sorts, as they both have similar powers. that quickly derailed.”

“ cinder5555 said to someone-always-cares: How long does it usually take to make a comic page? I'm curious because they're so freaking good that they must take FOREVER”

theres a drawing of myself, a fluffy hair tired bastard in a hoodie, smiling

“Thanks! Ive been doing this shit since like 2017 and i still have no idea how long it takes me. i can get a page done in a day if i have nothing else to do or if its a simple page, but if i have work then maybe 2-3 days? i spend like, most of my free time doing this.“

another drawing of me, now looking frustrated muttering “how the FUCK does time work”

“but i can never do it all on one sitting.i will inevitably get distracted and zone out daydreaming mid drawing so its very hard to get an accurate read on how long it takes. so however long a piece of string is i guess“

the only qustion not from tumblr is a discord message from RuneStone Cabin:

“Q: Can you talk about the incidence of superpowers in this world? Like many people are supers, which powers are more or less common, how long they've been a thing for, stuff like that. Also does Omen know I'd die for them “

theres a drawing of omen pointing at a date circled on a calender marked “decembuary”, theyre saying “i know. i already wrote your death in my calender.”

then a giant wall of text reading: “Supers have only existed for a relativly short time, since the early 1940s. momento mori was the second person to have ever gained powers.

Only a small number of the population are supers! the chances are higher in more populated cities, but unusally london has oneof the higher percentages of supers. while nobody in universe has any idea of the origins of superpowers, it does seem that powers are more likely to occur in people who would actually use their powers.

as for what powers are most common, after making a badly catagorized spreadsheet of every superpowered character ive made for this world (70% of which will probably never even be seen), turns out that elemental powers are the most common. although not all elemental powers manifest as the straight up 'controling this element' as seen in characters like lin or tsunami. for example, iris's powers would fall under shadow elemntal powers, but theyre a lot more weird that just controlling shadows.there are some abilities that have never been seen before,such as ressurection or full on time travel (aka anything that could bring a character back to life), but powers are certainly allowed to toe the line eg healing, powers involving undeath, immortality, pausing or manipulating time.

aside from that, anything goes. you could get plain old superstrength, but you could also get the ability to create dogs with your mind. other not quite rules, more guidelines are that supers are immune to their own powers hurting them (unless they were pushing themselves too hard), although the way the imminuties occur may be inconvinient to the super.

while some powers may be 'more powerful' than others, powers dont really get to be way underpowered or overpowered in comparision to others. sure being able to talk to animals may feel a bit useless compared to someone who can lift 4 tanks at once, but nobodys going to end up with a power like 'can turn into a goose but only once' or 'can grow toenails twice as fast' or 'if i sneeze i can change my hair colour'. at the same time, youre not going to get someone with the power to snap their fingers and level a city, or instantly blow up the moon or whatever.

“Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: I love rami PLEASE tell me his favorite song(s) and why. I will die for you”

a drawing of rami saying out loud “i dont really have any specific favourite song, really? i just listen to whatever sounds catchy and then listen to that on repeat for hours until i hate it. i guess i do like upbeat songs? ones that make you feel happy even if the lyrics are sad”

“ un1c0rnhh said to someone-always-cares: tell me,,, please,, cam,,, are they a cat person or a dog person?? ily"

theres a drawing of cam a metre away from a cat lying down. she has her arm out and is making ‘psspsspss’ noises at it. end id]

FUCK i am so glad i didnt hand write all of that, it would have been a major pain in the ass to write it all and then have to transcribe all that next. but nope i could directly copy paste the asks and word answers. cheers if anyone made it this far down. if anyone wonders why this is uploaded late, you know now.

#sac #someone always cares #sorry to my friends i rambled to about the previosly mentioned attempt at catagorizing powers #i made a fucking spreadsheet and everything #it was awful #also it probably obvious but i still have yet to download the font i use to this computer #did i ever mention what i named the font when i made it #because its called 'dicks out for the void' or something #it was funny back in mid/late 2017 ok

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

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BNHA AU Ideas : Twin Star Runaways

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: On the run from houses they never called home, Bakugo and Izuku make some unlikely friends and make the worlds least conventional steps towards being heroes.

They'll be amazing.

Bakugo and izuku were a little closer than in canon

when izuku's quirk didnt come in bakugo didnt jump straight to being mean and izuku didnt develop like, most of his issues because his best friend didnt abandon him

but everyone turned against the "quirkless weirdo" and when bakugo didnt leave him? they turned on him too

bakugo was a "villain in the making" or was crazy, scary, or "the weirdo's rabid dog" and he tries to play it off, like it doesnt bother him, but izuku gets angry, not that people are talking shit about him, but that they are coming after bakugo just for being a good person

not getting into canon, but in this au mitsuki is really abusive. inko is absent/neglectful because shes upset her husband divorced her and works nights as a nurse

so, the start of junior high, aged 11 and 12, izuku and katsuki run away because honestly anything is better than what they've been living though

as pretty cute kids they get pity food but they look so young no one will employ them

then they meet Touya, who for the sake of this AU is 17 at the time

so dabi runs into these 2 kids that look the same age as his little brother, one of which tried to blow him up within 20 secs of meeting him and the other was hiding behind a dumpster

and hes just like,,, "shit i cant believe i have 2 little brothers now"

that is cemented when he finds out izuku, hiding behind the dumpster? ya boy had a knife and was katsuki's backup

so dabi shows up where he knows these kids hide, he brings them food bc they are getting really thin, brings a new coat for katsuki bc he didnt have anything, teaches izuku how to use his knife better and sharpens it for him

he tells them about stain about corrupt heroes, and about his dad and katsuki and izuku latch onto this

katsuki's mum wished his quirk was "less violent" and that hed never be a hero because he was too scary and izuku's dad threw him away the second he realized his kid was Quirkless

and so izuku and katsuki decide they want to meet stain

dabi gives them some change and his email so they can contact him if they ever need to, and they set out for hosu (why is stain in hosu even tho it doesnt follow canon timelines? because i like hosu and i like tensei)

so in this au, stain skipped forward a bit, attacking hosu in some of his first rounds of hero purging

izuku and katsuki catch wind of a "cover up" by iidaten but izuku quickly realizes it was faked by another hero agency to try and get iidaten’s funding cut

and then they get a terrible feeling because thats the kinda thing that would cause stain to go after a hero so they end up running across hosu every night, taking turns to try and cover tensei as they look for stain

izuku and katsuki find stain over tensei, about to deliver the final blow and katsuki freezes because, stain is really scary and he has a bad vibe around him that almost made endeavour puke

but izuku throws himself inbetween tensei and stain

and stain is a little annoyed, but mostly impressed this scrawny kid is trying to stand up to him but then izuku tells him the scandal was faked and lays out every detail while hes pouring with tears because "ingenium is a good hero chizome"

and stain is like

wAIT WHY DOES A 10 YEAR OLD KNOW MY NAMe

(the answer? Dot connecting, the UA sports festival, and Steinhal. our boy is a smart cookie!)

at this point katsuki snaps out of his fear and tells stain he'll set off the loudest explosion he can manage if he doesnt step away from "one of the real heroes" and stain is honestly? pretty shook

so he does

and he just kinda, vanishes into the night

and izuku and katsuki swear because thats the guy they have been looking for for 2 weeks and they are out of food money and they just wanna get back to mutsutafu already so they start running after him

by the end they are freezing, 1AM and izuku is honestly worried about katsuki bc he gets cold easier because his quirk makes him sweaty even when he isnt hot and stain just takes pity on these kids and just kinda asks them is they have anywhere to go

izuku starts sobbing again because thats the kinda person he is, and katsuki tries to tell stain to go fuck himself but his teeth are chattering so hard he almost bites his tongue

stain just kinda sighs because god these kids remind him of Touya

and he laughs as izuku deadlifts a complaining katsuki and asks stain where hes gonna take them

also please: a subplot in this is tensei trying to work out who the kids that saved his life were

and he finds hospital records of katsuki and izuku for various brusies and broken bones

and sees that they havent been at school for 3 months, but also sees that no missing reports have been filed

and hes really upset because these kids are his little brothers age

anyway, after stain saves them from freezing they tell him ab how they cant be heroes but they wanted to be like him

and stain tells them they would make great heroes anyway and they cry

(at this point the AU changed from what was going to be a villain duo au into a vigilante au because its Soft AU Hours)

so, when they get back to mustutafu they meet up w dabi who says he has a present for izuku

(dabi said he join the leauge if afo gave izuku a quirk, and afo is interested to see how this goes so he said yes)

he would have joined the league anyway but he wanted to do his honorary little bro a solid if he could

afo was read to give izuku a kinda meh quirk honestly because the kid was going to want to be a hero and thats just bad business sense

then he finds out stain is fond of them and he pauses bc, thats pretty odd

then izuku walks in, is greeted by kurogiri and he bows to him bc hes a polite kid and afo is starting to like this child

izuku then tells shigiraki that he likes his shoes and shigiraki looks pleased with himself

so afo turns on the monitor and says hello and izuku pauses for a second and says

"sensei right? are you hurt? Why else would the video be off… oh sorry! I ramble when im nervous"

and afo just kinda,, "oh lord this child is sharp" so he chats with izuku a while and hears about how kids hurt him for being qurikless and afo kinda relates because people tried to murder him for having a quirk in the first place (i then ran through like 30 quirk ideas trying to work out the one I wanted to give him oops)

all for one gifts him the quirk guardian: can create hard light barriers. the more ambient light at the time of creation, the stronger the construct

he has the quirks perfect counter anyway, blackout: remove all light in a area, so hes not worried.

“where’d u get that quirk izuku”

“….enstranged uncle”

he works with katsuki to create barriers at the moment katsuki lets out explosions to maximise the strength

they start working as vigilanties

these lil baby 12 year olds and dabi is a big concered bro so he gets them some platform boots to make them look taller and masks to hide their voices

they wear big baggy hoodies bc they take them impacts and hide how thin they are

because they work at night they see aizawa a lot and aizawa is kinda confused because they have some pretty legit looking gear (big bro touya) so hes not sure if they are new heroes or not

izuku like, maybe stalked aizawa a little and found out hes a teacher at UA and izuku is so impressed and starstuck over this underground hero

katsuki is just grumbling because hes really impressed too but emotions are lame

izuku gets really hurt and katsuki knows this bitch is in trouble but he doesnt know what to do

katsuki asks eraserhead for help n aizawa is like "what going on??? are you a villain?" and katsuki rips off his mask, and is visible a super underweight 13 year old and aizawa just kinda feels his heart sink

and katsuki is trying not to cry and hes begging aizawa for help and aizawa is like "ahhhh fuuck I have 2 sons now"

vigilantes izuku and katsuki becoming wards of UA bc aizawa found them and has a deep seated hatred of the foster system

and the teachers just kinda accidentally adopt them

they take the ua entrance exam and manage to tie for first place, bakugo is all villain points and izuku got 50/50 rescue/villain points

and they have their letters playing at the same time as they hide in an alley way and the both start crying

because they really can be heroes

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straykats · 3 years

Text

it's almost 1am, but i just have some late night ramblings. will put under the cut.

talking about things like coming out, family. actually turned out to be a bit more of a relationship/love life talk than i'd intended.

validity. i know i don't need to have queer experiences to be queer? i don't need to have had a massive crush on a girl or have kissed a girl to know i like girls.. same as w guys. but at the same time i'm like. i just. i. ???? feel like i'm not "really" bi because i haven't had a massive crush. but the thing is, i don't even know if i've hada crush on a guy ngl like i've had my "but what if we both liked eachother and he asks me out" kinda moments in school but i've also been Traumatised in relation to that so it's not like anything went anywhere. like there were so many reasons that during highschool, i didn't have any type of romantic interest towards others. i never really gave myself the chance to think about those feelings or opportunities or anything. i just shut them all down asap bc what use were they gonna do me if [bad stuff], yknow? but like .... now im here and im like. it's not like anything was a missed opportunity, but at the same time, what /if/i i had let myself explore my feelings or what if i had been more social or what if what if what if? and i guess we'll never know??? sigh but yeah back to the whole validity thing. i'm okay with wherever i'm currently at w my sexuality, mainly because i haven't really /needed/ to think much about it. i've come out to some people i trust i know two of them 100% support and are fine with it. my bestest friend hehe i know she doesnt care (in a good way; as in she's accepting) but im also scared she's accepting in a bit of a "kat's just going through a phase"? although that's also just down to me scared of losing her because she means a lot to me. when i'm not worried or anything i'm very confident she supports me. other people i've told.. i know they're accepting but it's definitely a bit of a "i think they think it's a phase/she's confused" kinda thing which i'm like. yeah it sucks but at the same time i don't really care, as of right now.

relationships. i've never been in one and i don't really mind but i feel like i'm "falling behind" because everyone around me is getting into relos and i know !!!!!! it doesnt matter and all that but it's one of those "this is what i would tell others in my position, but the advice/comment doesn't apply to me" kinda things. not that i /want/ to be in a relo, but sometimes i just wish i had that connection with someone. i think emotionally i have it w my friend (the one mentioned above; will now refer to her as N) but like i wanna be able to hug someone for an extended period or time and i wanna cuddle and i wanna have (non-sexual) intimate moments and feel like. like my presence and my existence is more than just a passing thing? and like yeah friends can have those types of connections (to an extent) but like even if i... wanted to do that (all on a platonic level) with N, it just wouldnt feel like "us" and yeah okay when i'm a lil tipsy i do debate whether or not i have a crush on her (uh oh) but i also think its just me being touch deprived and my inhibitions lowering and her being the person i'd be most comfortable wanting to hug or whatever. but anu potential feelings i have for N are a whole new discussion. but anyways yeah back to relationships. I don't talk about romantic things and relationship stuff often (if at all) and i really only recall talking about it (in regards to myself) super superficially once with N, when she was going through her first breakup (i know that makes it sound like i made it all about me, but thats not it) and so like even now for me to be open or anything just. i cant.

self disclosure. to carry on from that last sentence - i think i used to trauma dump a lot. i used to complain or like send snaps about family situations that i knew were messed up but at the same time, was messed up in a normal asian-household kinda way. ...and then i found it it wasn't messed up in that kinda way and was just in general messed up and i also learnt about trauma dumping and the effects i have on others etc. and then i just. closed up. i just didn't talk about anything anymore. and i still can't (which is why i think i find counselling beneficial in a non-beneficial way (i get to open up in a safe space, but i don't really do anything outside of those sessions, including following through w goals)) and it makes upening up about anything serious at all really challenging. the only "serious" topic i really talk about now is uni stress lol bc hashtag relatable AHAHA but... like, N knows stuff from the past and she knows i just don't talk about it in a serious manner anymore and she respects everything but yeah hm idk i just. it'd be easier to talk about relationships etc if i was okay with opening up at all?

parents. i'm yet to come out to them at all. i think mum would be a bit "it makes me sad bc and i wish it wasn't like this but i still love you" or whatever, but i think dad will be a bit.. harder to get through. but i also think i don't need to tell them at all because this is a "what they don't know won't hurt them" kinda thing. like okay if in some distant future i do end up dating somoene other than a guy, i suppose i'd need to tell them but like until then, it's whatever. on the topic of parents, i also just dont tell them any personal things anymore. after [bad stuff] i feel like i just don't owe them anything and i feel like my identity belongs to me and i don't want them to have that as another topic to debate or yell about so i htink that's also why i don't wanna tell them. and i wanna ba able to say i don't care what they think, but i also feel like i've grown up too much a people pleaser and with too much guilt tripping to be able to hide something like my partner from them lol so anyways.

it's now past 1am and i will sleep.

#kats personal

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