auughhh so if you translate thelxie's morse code and caesar cipher it, he legitimately speaks french

A Day at Coney Island

Nonnie’s Request: “Could I request all your OCs going to Coney island together? Maybe with Bucky and another of the boys as a chaperone? 😲😲😲”

A/N: I can’t believe how excited I got for this request. Thank you, Nonnie, so much. And just know that my OCs are ALWAYS open for any requests ya got. This was amazing and the highlight of my day. :) Also, for this shot I basically plucked all of my characters out of their worlds and threw them in a new one. XD

Summary: It’s not every day that these guys can catch a break, but go big or go home, right?

Word Count: 3128 words

Warnings: This is tooth-rotting fluff. How could I make this angsty?? Seriously - It’s meant to brighten your day. But there is cussing. There’s always cussing. XD

--

Nothing could ever compare to Coney Island. The feel of the sun warming their skin? The smell of too much salt and sunscreen? Obnoxious laughter and carnival music ringing in their ears? Truly, there was nothing like it.

“Roll the window down! Roll it down!” Marie’s urgency and beating against her thighs was enough to earn a laugh from Jeneva.

Pulling up next to their second vehicle, Jeneva rolled down her corvette’s window. Aviators hid her glowing eyes as she watched the other car’s window disappear. She was met by Andie’s beaming face and Sam peeking around her from the driver’s side. “How did y’end up in the front seat,” she asked Andie, knowing very well that meant Shuri and Bucky had been crammed into the back. Both had wanted to ride with Jeneva instead of the mom-mobile minivan, but Marie had won rock-paper-scissors.

“Same way Marie won your ride,” Andie told her. The passenger doors opened automatically with people piling out. Bucky was grumbling about being crammed in the backseat yet again as Jeneva pulled her keys out of her car.

Sarah rolled her eyes, unable to fight her smile as Typhanie wrapped her arms around Sarah’s shoulders. “He was whining the whole way, Jen. Can you take him next time,” the blonde asked as Sam locked the minivan.

Marie pouted. “No way. I don’t want to ride in that thing.”

“But you made me,” Shuri reminded her. Marie’s ears turned a bright pink as her best friend teased her. It really didn’t matter what that girl said, it was too easy for her to fluster Marie.

Bucky came up behind Jeneva, amusement glittering in his eyes as he watched the younger Lebeau act like such a teenager. She could break into almost any network, rewrite codes as if she were singing her ABC’s, and yet Shuri simply talking to her was enough to make her awkward. “Remember,” he said, giving a pointed look to Andie and Jeneva. “No powers.”

Jeneva waved him off. “Y’no fun.”

“Come on!” Shuri grabbed Marie’s hand, interlacing her fingers and quickly pulling her ahead. “I don’t want to spend the whole day in the parking lot!”

Andie giggled as she ran after them. Really, the idea of going to the beach was her favorite part. She loved sunbathing and that ocean was practically screaming her name.

Sam came up beside Bucky. Them and Jeneva lagged behind, watching his kid and Steve’s quick on their feet. He glanced at Bucky, raising a brow. “This is going to be a mess of a day, isn’t it?”

“Oh, for sure,” Bucky told him, noticing Jeneva roll her eyes even behind her sunglasses. He flicked her hat before spinning the bill around, nestling it on the back of her head. “Let’s get there before they kill the whole park.”

--

While Coney Island was naturally a busy place buzzing with people and energy, the group had brought another sort of life to it. They were so used to their chaotic lives that days like this were rare indeed. But still – if they were planning a whole day here, they had to choose their moments wisely.

Arcade games during the day.

Crazy rides at night.

“And the little lady is a winner again!” Andie smiled far too innocently as she won the sharpshooter game. Again. Bucky looked from his water gun to hers and then to that dimpled smile she had. The silent look on his face said it all. How? How did she do it?

“I think we have a new sharpshooter,” Sam teased Bucky as Andie was handed a massive stuffed giraffe.

“Oh, shut it, Birdbrain.”

Typhanie, Sarah, and Marie were playing ski-ball, albeit all in their own way. Typhanie would shoot hers back to back, consistently hitting the center and second holes. Meanwhile, Marie was using her computer brain to calculate the precise angle needed for countless high scores. The top two holes were hit over and over again. Marie never missed.

Both women were on either side of Sarah, teasing her endlessly. This was clearly not her game. She was lucky to get the lowest ones and sometimes even managed to send the ball flying back her way.  A yelp shot out of her throat as the skiball flew towards her head. She ducked, looking over her shoulder just as Jeneva caught the ball. In her hand and in Shuri’s were caramel apples.

“Y’gonna injure someone, petite.”

“Sorry,” Sarah muttered.

Electricity crackled around the ball as she tossed it into the air, catching it again. Sidestepping Sarah, she took her shot. The ball landed in the middle hole, short circuiting it. Ticket after ticket poured out of the machine as Sarah’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“That’s cheating,” Shuri reminded Jeneva, whacking her arm.

“Oh, c’mon. It’s a game.” Jeneva laughed when she saw how big Sarah was smiling. “’Sides,” she whispered to Shuri. “The fille needed help, ca va?”

Shuri glanced at Sarah as she gathered up the tickets. “Fine, klepto, but Bucky did say no powers.”

Typhanie looked up, snorting when she heard that. “You’re kidding, right? He’s still pouting because Andie beat him at the water gun thing. I think he’s ready to declare it rigged.”

“Sounds ‘bout right,” Marie commented, not looking their way. Shuri grinned, a sneaky glint flickering in her eyes.

“Hey, Miss Marie.” She planted a sticky-sweet kiss on Marie’s cheek moments before the ball flew from her fingers. Beat red, Marie watched as her last ball landed in the gutter. Innocently, Shuri asked, “Was that my fault?”

“Uh – I -- “ Marie huffed, ducking her head. “Non. That was ‘cause o’moi.”

A warm pair of arms wrapped around Jeneva and she felt a chin rest on top of her head. “Heard y’lost a shootin’ game,” Jeneva teased, not bothering to look up as Bucky’s arms squeezed her gently.

“Shush you.” Bucky grabbed her wrist and brought the caramel apple to his lips.

Jeneva yelped, squirming in his grip to try to keep the caramel from dripping on her. “Can’t y’get y’own?”

He shrugged and released her wrist, munching on the treat. “More fun this way.”

Andie came over, struggling to keep her arms wrapped around the giraffe. “This thing is awesome.” Typhanie came up, running her fingers through the cheap fuzz that made up the giraffe’s fur. “We all need to leave here with giant stuffed animals.”

“Hell yes,” Typhanie agreed. “We could get a huge photo of them on the beach.” She looked at Sarah. “How does that sound?”

“I’m all for it, but not the shooting game. I suck at that.”

Typhanie whipped her head around, searching for something that would work. “What about that one?” She pointed and Sarah followed her gaze. There was one of those games that was kind of like ring toss, but it was set up with little plastic balls and fishbowls. Sarah smiled.

That would work.

“See you guys in a bit!” Sarah grabbed Typhanie’s wrist, earning a squeal of laughter before the two were heading towards the game.

“Gotta admit,” Bucky told Sam, noting the tension in his shoulders. “They’re cute together.”

“Yeah,” Sam mumbled begrudgingly. “Still don’t have to like it.”

Andie rolled her eyes. “Jeez, you’re such a dad, you know that?”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I am one then.”

“Alright, y’guys,” Marie spoke up, finally finding her voice again. “If we’re gonna make this photo happen, we should probably find more games. Where to next?”

--

Two hours passed and finally everyone had their own stuffed animal. Even Sam and Bucky. Since this was Andie’s and Typhanie’s idea, the pair were currently lining up the animals near the water, trying to find the best angles. Andie’s giraffe and Typhanie’s bear were on either end. Sarah’s elephant was propped against the bear and Shuri had managed to win an octopus that was delicately placed next to the giraffe. Not that anyone but Marie really noticed. Jeneva’s long-armed monkey and Bucky’s wolf were propped in the middle, separated at Sam’s insistence for his goofy looking goldfish with way-too-big eyes.

“Alright, perfect!” Andie jumped to her feet, pulling out her phone. “No one touch anything!” Her jeans were rolled up as she stepped into the water, attempting to get a good angle. However, the way the wind was blowing kept knocking her hair in her face. As much as she tried to get it out of the way, it wasn’t willing to work with her. It took Sarah pulling her hair into a messy ponytail for Andie to finally get her photo.

“That good for you,” Bucky asked. His metal arm glinted in the sunlight. Because they were closer to the water, he’d taken off his jacket and let Jeneva wear it. Was it necessary? Maybe not, but he knew it made Jeneva more comfortable about being closer to the ocean.

Andie stuck her tongue out at him. “Yeah, Old man, that’s good for me,” she mocked as the Lebeau girls snickered. She shrugged her tote off her shoulder. It was woven, painted to look like a rainbow. Inside was her beach towel and some sunscreen, but still plenty of room for all their prizes. “Alright, toss ‘em in.”

One by one, each stuffed toy was crammed into the tote until only the giraffe head was peeking out. Andie looked out at the water, noticing how pretty the sky was starting to look. As much as she wanted a chance to lie in the sun, she had to admit. She was having more fun spending time with her friends. “So…we did the arcade games,” she said, looking back at her friends. “What’s next?”

--

“HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIII – “ Bucky’s scream carried through the air with ease as they whipped through the Cyclone. It might have been Steve who had thrown up the first time they rode the crazy rollercoaster, but there was a true possibility that it would be Bucky this time around.

He collided into Jeneva, pinning her into the side of the cart. She laughed, her sunglasses tucked safely away and eyes glowing their pretty gold. “Fuck, y’heavy,” she shouted over the roar of rumbling wood and metal.

“Everybody, hold on,” Shuri said, not even bothering to listen to her own advice. She threw her hands into the air as Marie attempted to shrink in her seat.

“Fuck! Shit! Damnit!!” The slurs weren’t enough for Marie. She quickly switched to her French tongue as her thick hair waved frantically in the wind. “’M gonna die, ‘m gonna die!”

“God, you’re no fun,” Sarah shouted at Marie as she and Typhanie slammed into one another around the curve. The ride was old. And creaking. Half the terror that came from the ride was due to the sheer curiosity of whether or not it would stay in one piece.

And being the thrill seeker that she was, Sarah loved it.

Typhanie yelped as her ribs slammed into the metal bar. Oh, that hurt. She twisted slightly, clinging to Sarah as their cackling filled the air. That alone was the reminder for the group that this was certainly their idea.

“I’m picking the next riIIDE!” Sam shouted from behind as Andie cackled next to him.

Half of the team were heroes, used to training and fighting against the bad guys. But facing the Cyclone? That was a whole other beast.

Stumbling off the ride, Bucky leaned heavily against Jeneva as she attempted to put her sunglasses on. “Homme, y’a super soldier! A coaster ain’t gonna send y’t’ya knees.” Bucky chuckled. Apparently her comment was enough to send his mind reeling. He leaned forward, whispering something in her ear that earned a bright pink tinge to her cheeks. Huffing, Jeneva elbowed him in the stomach. The obnoxious grunt that came from him was enough to satisfy her. “Behave y’self.”

“You’re no fun, Doll.”

“How ‘bout somethin’ a petite calmer,” Marie asked, her hand clinging to the crook of Shuri’s elbow. “Sil vous plait?”

Shuri gave her a small smile. Marie was definitely calmer than Jeneva. She didn’t thrive off of energy, something the other Lebeau had to do because of her powers. Marie preferred staying tucked away in her computer lab, exploring a world in technology that no one else had really understood before the two had met. Brushing some of Marie’s tangled hair out of her face, Shuri asked, “What about the Wonder Wheel?” She looked at the others, seeing them all share a look that meant they were on board.

“Wonder Wheel,” Andie said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “Here we go.”

--

It’s a much calmer experience than the Cyclone had been. Everyone piled into their own passenger cars. The lights flickered, glowing against their skin. “You and your friends picked a good time,” the attendant told Typhanie and Sarah. “The fireworks should be starting soon.”

“Cool,” Typhanie tugged Sarah in, laughing when her girlfriend stumbled into her seat. Sarah huffed, running a hand through her hair as the attendant closed the door. “Aw, you’re pouting,” Typhanie teased, poking her cheek.

“Shut up,” Sarah muttered, throwing her legs across Typhanie’s lap. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I could say the same thing to you.” Typhanie tugged her legs closer, forcing Sarah to get tucked into her side. Knowing Sarah wasn’t really upset, she gave her a sweet kiss.

Sarah giggled against her lips. “I thought the tradition was to kiss the girl at the top of the Ferris Wheel.”

“When do we ever follow tradition?”

Their laughter bubbled up, carrying to Marie’s and Shuri’s passenger car. They were sitting across from each other, the car gently rocking as they looked out at the water. It was a beautiful sight with the moon reflecting in the waves. “Merci,” Marie whispered, fingers playing with the ends of her hair as Shuri turned to look her way.

“For what?”

“Pickin’ this ride. It’s exactly what I needed.”

A small smile tugged at Shuri’s lips. She knew she wasn’t supposed to move around in the car. Not when they were in the air. But it couldn’t be helped. She moved quickly, noticing the way Marie sat a little straighter, and plopped into the seat next to her. “I like you.” Shuri noticed the panic flashing in Marie’s eyes. “A lot. And I know you’re freaking out, but I also know you feel the same way. You aren’t subtle.”

Marie bit her lip, eyes flicking and searching Shuri’s face. “I – I – “ She felt like she couldn’t talk. Taking a slow breath, Marie admitted, “I don’t understand romance. Or fallin’ in love. I’m not like mon famille who just dives in headfirst. I’m awkward…And I like when t’ings make sense. Romance and love don’t. And that terrifies moi.”

Shuri was waiting for the but. There had to be one. Surely, she hadn’t been imagining what was happening between them. Right?

“But I do. Like y’, I mean. I’m just really bad at understandin’ what that means.”

Shuri felt giddy. She didn’t mind the need to understand that came with Marie. It just meant that they had to work together. Intertwining their hands, Shuri gave a gentle squeeze. Marie shifted her gaze to their hands. It fit so well. “Maybe,” Shuri offered, nudging her with her shoulder. “We take it slow? And figure it all out together?”

Marie smiled, looking back at Shuri. “I t’ink I can get behind that.”

Jeneva had been watching from above, peering over the edge and trying to hear everything that was going on. She couldn’t help it. She liked making sure that Marie was okay.

“Get over here.” Bucky looped his flesh arm around her waist, tugging her back into his chest. “She’s a big girl, Jen. Let her figure it out.”

“I know,” Jeneva grumbled as she turned towards Bucky. He pushed her sunglasses on top of her head, smiling when he saw that liquid gold flickering in her eyes. “I just don’t want ‘er t’get hurt. That so bad?”

“No, it’s not,” Bucky assured her, his thumb running along her cheek. He watched as electricity ran under her skin, chasing after his thumb and making her skin glow. There was a time when he had thought those powers could only hurt people. Now…he knew that sometimes her powers had a calming effect. They could provide warmth and an odd feeling of fullness that he had come to love. Just like he loved her. “But we’re at the top of the Wonder Wheel,” he told her just as the ride pulled to a stop. “And I’d like a bit of your attention before you force me into that minivan again.”

Jeneva’s jaw dropped, a shocked laugh filling the air. “I didn’t! Marie won fair ‘n’ square!”

Bucky grinned. “Whatever,” he said, not fully believing that she would have forced Marie into the minivan.

The crackle and pop of fireworks grabbed their attention. Jeneva settled in on Bucky’s lap, resting her head on his shoulder as the sky lit up. Though her eyes watched the glow and show intently, his gaze was focused on her. The way her eyes flickered a little brighter with every new firework. How warm she felt because of the electricity coursing through her veins. The way her steady heart always made him feel calm. Pressing a small kiss to her forehead, he rest his cheek on her head, careful of the sunglasses, and looked back to the show she was so entranced by.

“How much you want to bet that none of them are actually watching the show?”

Sam glanced back at Andie. She had that same old, knowing smile on her lips. He scrunched his nose. While he and Bucky were supposed to be the chaperones for the day, he knew that Bucky would slack off since Jeneva was there. But still…

He didn’t need to picture it.

“I need you to keep those thoughts to yourself. One of them is my kid, you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Andie grinned like the cat that ate the canary, cuddling into her giraffe as another firework burst in the air. “That’s why I said it.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re as mean as Barnes, you know that?”

Andie laughed. “Careful. Imagine if I was his kid.”

He shuddered. “Nope. No, that’s worse than the idea of all of them ignoring the show.”

Andie’s laughter, though drowned out by the fireworks, was filled with warmth. The type that could only come from a day like today. A day with friends. With family. A day at Coney Island.

Finding Help

You know, sometimes it really hits me how in the beginning of catws, Steve was looking for help and perhaps seeing if he could get out.

And because of the events of catws, he can’t escape fighting. He has to search for Bucky, he has to fight Ultron, he has to protect Bucky and fight against the UN and against a friend, he’s on the run and still helping the world, he fights in the battle for the universe.

So! I’m gonna go into analysis mode and dissect Steve at the beginning of catws!

First off, we all know how this movies starts. With Mr Steve ‘I can run 13 miles in 30 minutes’ Rogers meeting Sam Wilson. Which… I firmly believe is absolutely not an accident. And, of course, Sam clocks on that Steve might not be managing. He goes straight into therapist mode, asking about ‘the defrosting thing’ and his bed.

I feel like Sam mentions the bed because Steve came straight out of the ice, having just been in the middle of the war. Not to mention, it’s been two years. We don’t know if his conditions are similar in SHIELD, when on missions, but it seems Steve still hasn’t adjusted, giving his opinion on his bed being like a marshmallow.

When Steve talks about the present he doesn’t sound, sincere. He’s still trying to find his place (and Sam totally notices that). The one thing that he does seem glad about is the food situation. And talking about there being no polio is obvious, but it’s just been told to him. He doesn’t know. It’s history. The internet too, he uses the kind of language I’d expect from an older person. “I've been reading that a lot trying to catch up” means, ‘I’ve been reading the internet’. Like, not info on the internet. Like, not going on websites to read. No, he’s been reading the actual internet. I don’t know about you, but that’s not how I talk.

He clearly has not adjusted, at all.

Then he goes on the mission. Says he’s sick of being Fury’s janitor. He feels used. He proceeds to jump out of the plane without a parachute at such a speed and height that hitting the water would break every bone in his body as he hit the stuff like it was concrete. But, no, he’s fineee, he’s a super soldier. That’s totally not suicidal behaviour, Steve.

AND THE STRIKE TEAM ARE USED TO IT!! Like this is what they expect. Steve is not okay. (Plus, there’s the dark joke he makes about his barbershop quartet being dead. That’s not a Steve joke, that’s a depression joke).

And when he fights Batroc, he puts his SHIELD away because the guy called him out over the shield? Oh yeah, Steve, that seems safe and totally not dodgy. It’s like he still has something to prove, probably part of the fact he hasn’t adjusted, (and that he might wanna die).

When it turns out Natasha had a different mission, he naturally goes off it. He’s losing faith in SHIELD, if he hasn’t already lost it. Half the reason he stays is because Peggy founded it. That’s a big portion, and hardly a valid reason for staying.

When he sees Project Insight, he’s angry. He disagrees immediately. Steve has strong opinions on this stuff, he fought in WWII. He knows that Project Insight was for control, and only that, never for protection. It’s fear mongering to keep people in line. (And that was before he knew it was HYDRA).

As soon as he leaves the Triskelion, he goes to his own museum exhibit. Which all seems a bit much for it being two years after he returned. But whatever. It’s clear in that scene that Captain America is seen more than Steve Rogers. It was never about Steve, nothing was about him. It was his image as CA. Only one person recognises him, and that person was a kid wearing a Captain America t-shirt.

He looks around, hands in his pockets, making himself small and invisible. He stares longingly at the uniforms, of the pictures of him and his friends. Then turns, to see Bucky’s section. A tiny part, even though his influence in Steve’s life was much greater. His and Steve’s history is erased on the plaque. It clearly isn’t public knowledge that Steve only recused the soldiers because there was hope Bucky was alive, it was changed to a ‘twist of fate’. Even Bucky’s basic info is wrong, it says born in 1916, then at the bottom says 1917-1944. The museum didn’t care to research.

That’s gotta sting Steve. He’s clearly still grieving, still upset, still sad. He’s suffering in silence. And so little time in the movie is given to how much Steve is still affected. I mean… had he even accepted it? Had he muddled through his grief?

From there, he goes to Peggy. When she says her only regret is that Steve didn’t get to live his life, he replies with the fact that he’s always just wanted to do what was right. That he isn’t sure what’s right anymore. That’s not good for him, that’s alarming. Remember, this is the man that didn’t want to kill, who lost his best friend, and then said he wouldn’t stop until all of HYDRA was dead or captured.

The ‘dead’ came first, not the ‘captured’. And now, he doesn’t know what’s right? He’s got issues, a lot of them. And he says serving isn’t the same anymore, he thought he could ‘throw himself back in’. Evidently showing he has never given himself time to get used to the future.

We know from ‘The Avengers’ that he has intrusive memories, when he was at the boxing ring, punching bags into oblivion. And he just threw himself into SHIELD after New York? SHIELD was a different beast to the army. He probably wasn’t fit to work, and what we see at the start of catws only backs that up.

So, anyhow, Peggy tells Steve the world has changed. (Hmm, how has it changed exactly, Agent Carter???). She effectively tells him to start over, which goes in line with him maybe getting out of SHIELD. (But he never gets that choice).

He then goes to Sam’s VA session and listens in. You can see Steve isn’t happy when he begins to talk to Sam. His hands are in his pockets again, his expression has this sad tint to it. When Sam talks about them all having the same problems, namely guilt and regret, Steve clocks on instantly because he knows that feeling. He knows what Sam is referring to.

Sam had much the same experience as Steve, unable to do anything as his friend dies, only being able to watch.

Sam is trying to relate to Steve, to gain an idea of what he’s thinking. Of what he’s feeling.

When he asks if Steve was thinking of getting out, Steve instantly says no, looking away. He’s lying there, avoiding eye contact. Then, he makes eye contact and says ‘I don’t know’. It’s such a small thing, but that’s the truth. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what he’d do either, so Sam makes a joke of it, but tells him he could ‘do whatever he wants to do’. Which matches starting over, as per Peggy’s advice.

Then Sam just has to ask what makes Steve happy. Steve shakes his head and looks to Sam, saying, ‘I don’t know’ again. And that’s…………………………. heart-breaking. It’s not healthy. Like, he doesn’t even give an answer, just says idk likes it’s no big deal.

All he’s got is the fighting. Because….

His home isn’t his own.

His shield isn’t even his, it’s the government’s.

He doesn’t own Captain America, that’s for the public. (His persona isn’t his, hasn’t been since 1945).

The only friend of his that isn’t SHIELD is Peggy, and kinda Sam but he just met him. Natasha isn’t truly his friend till later on.

Steve has nothing, he has no one, all he has is the will to keep fighting.

Getting out was a choice, starting over, possibly getting help, getting past his grief and adjusting, that was all a choice for him.

Until Bucky, until HYDRA. Then he was dragged back in, given no choice but to keep fighting. While maybe letting Captain America go along the way.

@avengersbarnes

neither lost nor found xi

August slid into September. Enjolras was busier than ever, between work and volunteering and meetings, though with varying school and work schedules, it was difficult to get everyone together at once for those. Long days turned into long nights in all his efforts to keep busy, to stay in touch with his friends and his clients and his parents, to trudge along as normally as possible in Grantaire’s absence because to do otherwise would be admitting to everyone something he couldn’t admit to himself.

They spoke nearly every day, even if just in quick texts when they were too busy for a phone call. Enjolras thought the longer Grantaire was away, the easier it would get. But he knew the longer Grantaire was away, the closer he was to having him back home, and that made him all the more anxious. It helped that they were all so busy; whenever Grantaire’s absence hit him particularly hard at a meeting or group dinner at Ferre’s, he could just pretend he’d been too busy at work to get away and could catch up with him later.

He always tried not to call Grantaire too late, when he might be at a late dinner or already in bed; he didn’t want to seem desperate to talk to him when the quiet of the night filled his apartment. But the day had been busy, and full of good news, and the very first thing he did when he got home late that night wasn’t changing out of his suit, but picking up the phone to call him.

Grantaire was down on the beach with his co-workers. It was Friday night and that usually meant they were out somewhere, in town or by the sea, or just hanging out together in one of the villas in the little complex. Most of them worked over the weekends, as well as during the week, but the evenings were almost always their own.

For a small group, they made a lot of noise. They had a bonfire going and music playing - they were remote enough to not have many neighbours to bother. The second Grantaire’s phone rang, he jumped up and moved away from the others to answer it. Enjolras didn’t usually call at this time.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey,” Enjolras said a little breathlessly, his heart skipping at the sound of Grantaire’s voice. He loosened his tie. “Is this a bad time? Are you out?”

“Non, non, it’s good,” Grantaire said. “I mean, I’m out, but it not a bad time. Are you alright?”

“Oui, I’m fine,” Enjolras said, breathing a laugh. “Non, I’m actually good. I’m great, it’s been a really great day. I just wanted to share it with you, but I can call later.”

“Non, non, non, tell me now,” Grantaire said, something in his chest swelling with warmth.

“Ca va, ca va, so, do you remember that case I had that we leaked to the press about the Muslim man who was set up for theft? We settled today for, dieu, I can’t tell you how much because of confidentiality, but we creamed them, R. They’re facing fines and penalties as well, they will probably have to sell the business to keep their heads above water, and I don’t even think that will be enough,” Enjolras said with an elated laugh. “My client told me he’s going to put some of the settlement money aside for law school, that I inspired him to go to law school, can you believe that? He wants to come sit in on a meeting sometime, and I told him that once he needs internship hours to call me, because - ca va, ready? I got my business license today. I’m a firm. A very small firm, but a firm.”

“Enjolras,” Grantaire said, the word coming out on a breath of laughter. “Enjolras… Oh, mon dieu… This is... Enjolras! Congratulations! Congratulations isn’t enough.”

“Can you believe it?” Enjolras said, his happiness ballooning with Grantaire’s. “I need to find a real office space, but the desk in my living room will do for now. And Clara was talking about leaving her firm - I could have a partner, a whole team of attorneys, and build up a legal aid clinic, and there won’t be any talk of bottom lines or profits, we’ll just be helping people.”

Grantaire wanted nothing more than to be back in Paris with him. “I am so, so happy for you,” he said, his throat a little tight.

“Merci, merci,” Enjolras said, softer now as he settled down. “I wish you were here. Everyone wants to go out and celebrate.”

“You better go!” Grantaire warned him. “If anything warrants celebrating…”

Enjolras breathed a laugh. “I will, I will. It’s just a big deal. You’ve always been here for the big things.”

Grantaire swallowed, hard. “I can't… If I could afford it, I’d be on the first flight back to Paris,” he said.

“Non, non, non,” Enjolras said quickly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I just wanted you to know you’re missed. That’s all.”

“I wish I could be there. I guess… I guess you'll be really busy now, ah?”

“Ah, oui. But that’s no different than usual, I’m always really busy.”

Grantaire nodded, sitting down on the sand a little way away from the others. He sifted it through the fingers of his free hand.

“It's okay if you can't visit, then,” he said, trying to keep his voice light. “This is way more important. This is really big, Enj.”

“Non, non, this doesn’t change anything,” Enjolras said firmly. Sometimes the only thing that kept him going was the promise of seeing Grantaire. “I told you before that I would make time if this happened. I have the time.”

“Sorry, I'm raining on your parade here,” Grantaire said, managing to laugh. “I'm so proud of you.”

Enjolras could feel his face flush. “Merci, chéri,” he said. “We can just celebrate together when I visit, ah?”

“Oui?”

“Oui,” Enjolras said. “Have you figured out a good time for it?”

“I mean, I'm all settled in. Work is steady. Anytime you like, really.”

“So you’re saying there is nothing stopping me from getting on the first flight out tomorrow morning?” Enjolras teased lightly.

“I mean, Ant needs somewhere to stay,” Grantaire said, laughing uncertainly.

“Oh, merde, I’m a terrible father,” Enjolras said, serious again. “Do you think Jehan would watch her?”

“Oui, absolument,” Grantaire said.

Enjolras hesitated a moment, realizing Grantaire may have told him not to worry about visiting because he’d changed his mind on the whole deal.

“Tu sais, if you’re too busy with work…”

“Non, non, I…” Grantaire said quickly. Was Enjolras looking for a way out now? “I mean, I have work… to do… but not an inordinate amount. I've gotten a lot done already, actually. I just mean… if it's too much time or too much money or whatever… or if you don't want to… Don't feel you have to, t’sais?”

“I want to,” Enjolras said honestly. He was growing tired of pretending not to care, when he cared so much, when he missed him so deeply. “I do. Time and money aren’t an issue. I just want to make sure that we’re… that it’s a good time.”

Grantaire found himself smiling. He tugged his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees, eyes on the horizon, an inky black line across the still just light sky.

“It’s a good time,” he said firmly. “There’s no bad time.”

“Okay,” Enjolras said, relaxing again. “Okay, good. I’ll look at flights, then.”

“Let me know what you find,” Grantaire said, his smile audible in his voice.

“I will,” Enjolras said, smiling too. “How long should I plan to be away?”

“How long would you like to be away?”

Enjolras laughed. “I would probably spend an entire year lying on a beach in Greece if I could.”

“So book a one-way plane ticket,” Grantaire teased.

“Ah, don’t tempt me,” Enjolras said. “I’ll stay even after you’ve left and we’ll find ourselves in the same situation.”

Grantaire laughed. “I can’t wait to show you round,” he said.

“I can’t wait to see it,” Enjolras said with a smile. “Has it been an inspiring landscape to paint?”

“Too inspiring,” Grantaire admitted with another laugh. “I can’t stop painting seascapes. I never knew the sea could be so many different shades of green and blue.”

Enjolras’ smile grew. “Do I get to see your work?”

“You get no say in the matter; it’s all over the place,” Grantaire said. “This is why I shouldn’t live alone. At least with Ant, even, I had to keep things tidy, or she’d sharpen her claws on the canvases.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” Enjolras said, laughing. “I’m excited to see you at work again, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the process.”

“Ah, oui… I guess it has,” Grantaire said.

“So, ah… a week?” Enjolras asked. “Can we get away with that?”

“A week sounds perfect,” Grantaire said. A week didn’t sound like nearly long enough.

“Oui?” Enjolras asked. “Not too long? It’s okay if you have to work while I’m there.”

“Non, not too long at all,” Grantaire said. “I’ll knuckle down and get on top of things, then…”

Enjolras found himself smiling. “Then…?”

“Then I’m all yours for the week.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Good,” Grantaire said, smiling to himself. He dug his toes into the sand, cool now the sun had gone down.

“Good,” Enjolras echoed, and fell silent for a long moment, just listening to Grantaire and the faint sounds of the ocean on the line. “I’ll let you go, ah? Get back to your outing. I haven’t even changed yet.”

Grantaire breathed a laugh. “I’m really glad you called,” he said.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Enjolras said, smiling. “We can look at flights together.”

“Can’t wait,” Grantaire said. “I’ll have my phone on me all day, so…”

“You’ll hear from me,” Enjolras said. “Early. I won’t make you wait all day.”

“I don’t mind waiting,” Grantaire laughed. “But your enthusiasm is noted.”

Enjolras laughed, happy Grantaire couldn’t see the flush of his face.

“Text me later so I know you got home okay.”

“You want me to text you so you know I managed to walk the five hundred metres from the beach back to the villas?” Grantaire asked, smiling.

“Oui, I do,” Enjolras said. “You never know what could happen, R.”

Grantaire snorted a laugh. “I’ll text, I’ll text,” he said. “But I think you’ve been hanging out with too many criminals.”

“You haven’t been here to keep me in line,” Enjolras teased.

“Well, you’ll be here soon enough, ah?”

“Soon enough would have been a week ago.”

Grantaire breathed a laugh, his stomach fluttering. “You can’t just say things like that…”

“Non?” Enjolras asked, heart thudding now they’d entered delicate territory. “It’s the truth. For me, anyway.”

Grantaire nodded. “So… I’ll text you later?”

“Yeah, okay,” Enjolras finally said, voice softer now. “Speak later.”

“Go celebrate!” Grantaire said as he got to his feet again.

“Have a nice night, R.”

“You too.”

Enjolras hung up quickly then, kicking himself for prying open that door and peeking through. Grantaire’s feelings towards him hadn’t changed and he was more in love with him than ever, and he was about to jet off to spend a week alone with him in Greece. What kind of masochist was he?

With an aggravated groan, he dropped his phone on the sofa and went to his room to change and vent to Ant.

What I choose to pursue

Spring has sprung and with the arrival of green grass, green leaves, warmer air, bluer skies, singing birds, daffodils and seedlings popping up in gardens all over so arrives the overload of all things money.   ​ Yes, it is spring and rather than focusing on the beauty of nature, we are being inundated with the reminder that not only is grass green, but so is money. Billboards with huge pictures of money pouring out of windows, reminding us to update our air conditioning, borrow money for home improvements, grow money with higher interest CD's, plant seeds of money today and watch them grow all summer.   Commercials telling us to save money at the local Home Depot or Lowes for all of our weekend warrior projects.   Money, money, money...how to earn it, how to grow it, how to cultivate it, how to keep it, how to love it, how to have more of it, how to whatever you can imagine, there is a way to do it. Life runs on money, especially, it would appear,  in spring.   I love spring. Well, maybe not the May flies and allergies, but the rest, yeah, I love it all. I love the renewal of energy that comes with spring. The simpleness of spring and the hope it grows for a new season. Tiny sprouts getting ready to grow into food for us.   Whether it be edible, nourishing food or food for thought, Spring sprouts bring us nourishment after a long winter rest.   We are awakened and ready to grow and boy does commercialism know it.   We've been programmed to always think about money, but never more than in spring.   Every day I open up an email offering me a new way to think about money, to learn about money, to allow money to flow to me, or to give away my money in order to bring more money to me. Every time I turn on the tv there is a commercial, a new report, a guru, a something to guide me into the dark, the scary and complex world of money.   The world in which I must need help in because so many are offering to help me in it.   The world where green grass means nothing unless it is growing money somewhere and where leaves aren't the only things that grow on trees. Oh, Yes, Money. Great and Wonderful MONEY. All these reminders, these classes, these commercials, these teachers who so graciously remind me how worthless, how uninspired, how useless, boring, simple and small I am without enough money.  How absolutely insignificant my life is without abundances of money and in just a few easy steps for the easy payment of only... or by shopping at the right store and investing in the right bank and listening to the new guru I too can be fulfilled by having money. I'm calling bullshit on this.   BULLSHIT! Money Sells.  Money sells faster with the insinuation of fear and I'm not buying into it. No amount of money will fulfill me or enhance my life unless I understand what is of value and what is not.   Yes, money is indeed very helpful in today's society and money does tend to make the world go round money is necessary for basic survival.  I like being able to pay my mortgage, drive a car, be warm in the winter, eat,  but for fuck's sake, can we stop being intimidated by money?   Could we just enjoy the little flowers that are smiling at us when we smile at them without wondering how much money it will cost to enjoy them?   Can we enjoy the symphony of the birds during the day and the owls at night without fearing if we are wasting our time enjoying rather than working? Could we stop looking at our bank accounts and start looking at the hiking path that will lead us to the most beautiful of waterfalls and see the riches that Mother Nature offers us free of charge? Is it possible to enjoy all that we have and enjoy earning money pursuing what we love without the constant fear of never having enough or never having what the other guy has? Can't we have it all without having all of it? Dear God, what do we have to do to catch a break?   For one, we have to understand that money is not what propels us. Money is what holds us back.   Money, no fear of the lack of money, keeps us from exploring life"s boundaries. The boundaries that our souls are here to explore and break.   Think about this for a moment.   Think of the word MONEY.   Five letters when put together in this pattern elicit incredibly complex emotions in our egotistical, human mind. This five letter word has the potential to raise us or ruin us, but very rarely will it balance us, and balance is exactly what we need when it comes to money. I grew up in small town, USA, the grand-daughter of a highly respected businessman who resided on the main street of small town, USA.   My grandfather was a good man who worked very hard for his respect and his money and I was graced with financial blessings because of this. I was also a motherless daughter. At 7 years old my mother died leaving behind my 10-year-old sister and two-week old baby brother. Money doesn't buy back the dead.   My girlfriend, a very beautiful and successful singer lost her brother a few years back to cancer. He left behind 2 young children who will forever be without their father. Parents who will be forever without their son. Money doesn't buy back the dead.   My best friend lost her dad at an age when she was just starting her own family.  Her father won't be attending her children's weddings, nor did he attend their graduations, birthdays, holidays and other significant life events. Money doesn't buy back the dead. I could go on and on, listing every friend I have who has lost a child, a father, mother, brother or sister, but I don't need to because you have lost them as well.   Money can't buy them back no matter how much money we have.   Love and loss aren't dictated by money. Nor should our lives.   Our lives should be lived and memories built in the pursuit of happiness, not the pursuit of money.   Money does play a part in our lives, but never should it be so important that it consumes us and clogs us from simple joys and basic blessings, which are of course never basic at all. I type these words not as someone who has risen above the fear of money, but as someone who is guilty of falling prey to it almost on a daily basis and is lucky enough to have caught a few tidbits of wisdom here and there and nip the fear in the ass when it rears its ugly face. I caught myself last night when talking to my adventurous daughter, Paige, who packed a few bags last year and headed to CA in pursuit of her happiness.   I fell right into the "you should be a nurse" conversation.   You know, the "you need money, it is safe, it is respectable, it is secure" conversation that great mom's do when they think their babies need protection because somehow money and security go hand and hand. I caught myself quickly last night and for that I am grateful. Wisdom speaks very softly but does indeed speak loud enough to those who are willing to listen.   Wisdom tells us that money is indeed a wonderful energy to surround yourself around without getting lost in its allure. Money offers us opportunities to grow, to expand and experience. It offers all things material for ourselves and our loved ones. It offers us tomorrows adventures if we are smart enough to live for only the magic of today. Money is an invaluable asset and I don't discount the necessity of it, but I also will never pursue it so much that it ruins my Spring. Typically the more money we have, the more we can spend, grow, share, explore, expand and play and in that way, money does make the world go round.  Money in of itself holds no value, but how it is used, what it is used for and how it is managed is of value.  The energy of money, like all energy is movement.  Money must be used in order for it to be of value, but what is of value is what I pursue. Money can't buy me abundance. I can't plant money seeds and get money bushes.   I can't call money on a Monday night and talk to it about football.   I can't hold money on a cold night and I sure as hell can't feel its warmth from a tender hug or a passionate kiss. I can't hold it tight to me and nurture it as I did my children.   Money doesn't text me out of the blue and asks "Are you smiling today?" like my friend, Steve, who I haven't seen in twenty plus years does every few weeks since he saw me falling down the rabbit hole during the elections. Money doesn't read my blogs and offer me thoughtful insights like my friend, Chris, who also isn't a daily confidant but an old high school friend. Money doesn't message me with some calming words of advice after he notices I may be heading into the crazy zone after the election of 45 in the way my old friend Ed did, who again I haven't seen since high school and currently lives in VA. Money can't give me A- blood like my best friend Stacey can.   Money also can't get stupid silly drunk with me like Stacey can either! There is something to say about old money, but it doesn't hold a candle to old friends.   Money is an energetic vibration that will rise with us when we pursue that in which we rise to.   Maybe because I am a child without a mother I can see differently the pursuit of happiness or maybe because being without money doesn't frighten me as much as being without people does, but for whatever reason, I would rather pursue the joy of wealth rather than the pursuit of money. Happy Spring, everyone.  Enjoy the abundance it has to offer. “Money is a guarantee that we may have what we want in the future. Though we need nothing at the moment it insures the possibility of satisfying a new desire when it arises.” --Aristotle “If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” —Edmund Burke

What I Choose to Pursue

Spring has sprung and with the arrival of green grass, green leaves, warmer air, bluer skies, singing birds, daffodils and seedlings popping up in gardens all over so arrives the overload of all things money.   ​ Yes, it is spring and rather than focusing on the beauty of nature, we are being inundated with the reminder that not only is grass green, but so is money. Billboards with huge pictures of money pouring out of windows, reminding us to update our air conditioning, borrow money for home improvements, grow money with higher interest CD's, plant seeds of money today and watch them grow all summer.   Commercials telling us to save money at the local Home Depot or Lowes for all of our weekend warrior projects.   Money, money, money...how to earn it, how to grow it, how to cultivate it, how to keep it, how to love it, how to have more of it, how to whatever you can imagine, there is a way to do it. Life runs on money, especially, it would appear,  in spring.   I love spring. Well, maybe not the May flies and allergies, but the rest, yeah, I love it all. I love the renewal of energy that comes with spring. The simpleness of spring and the hope it grows for a new season. Tiny sprouts getting ready to grow into food for us.   Whether it be edible, nourishing food or food for thought, Spring sprouts bring us nourishment after a long winter rest.   We are awakened and ready to grow and boy does commercialism know it.   We've been programmed to always think about money, but never more than in spring.   Every day I open up an email offering me a new way to think about money, to learn about money, to allow money to flow to me, or to give away my money in order to bring more money to me. Every time I turn on the tv there is a commercial, a new report, a guru, a something to guide me into the dark, the scary and complex world of money.   The world in which I must need help in because so many are offering to help me in it.   The world where green grass means nothing unless it is growing money somewhere and where leaves aren't the only things that grow on trees. Oh, Yes, Money. Great and Wonderful MONEY. All these reminders, these classes, these commercials, these teachers who so graciously remind me how worthless, how uninspired, how useless, boring, simple and small I am without enough money.  How absolutely insignificant my life is without abundances of money and in just a few easy steps for the easy payment of only... or by shopping at the right store and investing in the right bank and listening to the new guru I too can be fulfilled by having money. I'm calling bullshit on this.   BULLSHIT! Money Sells.  Money sells faster with the insinuation of fear and I'm not buying into it. No amount of money will fulfill me or enhance my life unless I understand what is of value and what is not.   Yes, money is indeed very helpful in today's society and money does tend to make the world go round money is necessary for basic survival.  I like being able to pay my mortgage, drive a car, be warm in the winter, eat,  but for fuck's sake, can we stop being intimidated by money?   Could we just enjoy the little flowers that are smiling at us when we smile at them without wondering how much money it will cost to enjoy them?   Can we enjoy the symphony of the birds during the day and the owls at night without fearing if we are wasting our time enjoying rather than working? Could we stop looking at our bank accounts and start looking at the hiking path that will lead us to the most beautiful of waterfalls and see the riches that Mother Nature offers us free of charge? Is it possible to enjoy all that we have and enjoy earning money pursuing what we love without the constant fear of never having enough or never having what the other guy has? Can't we have it all without having all of it? Dear God, what do we have to do to catch a break?   For one, we have to understand that money is not what propels us. Money is what holds us back.   Money, no fear of the lack of money, keeps us from exploring life"s boundaries. The boundaries that our souls are here to explore and break.   Think about this for a moment.   Think of the word MONEY.   Five letters when put together in this pattern elicit incredibly complex emotions in our egotistical, human mind. This five letter word has the potential to raise us or ruin us, but very rarely will it balance us, and balance is exactly what we need when it comes to money. I grew up in small town, USA, the grand-daughter of a highly respected businessman who resided on the main street of small town, USA.   My grandfather was a good man who worked very hard for his respect and his money and I was graced with financial blessings because of this. I was also a motherless daughter. At 7 years old my mother died leaving behind my 10-year-old sister and two-week old baby brother. Money doesn't buy back the dead.   My girlfriend, a very beautiful and successful singer lost her brother a few years back to cancer. He left behind 2 young children who will forever be without their father. Parents who will be forever without their son. Money doesn't buy back the dead.   My best friend lost her dad at an age when she was just starting her own family.  Her father won't be attending her children's weddings, nor did he attend their graduations, birthdays, holidays and other significant life events. Money doesn't buy back the dead. I could go on and on, listing every friend I have who has lost a child, a father, mother, brother or sister, but I don't need to because you have lost them as well.   Money can't buy them back no matter how much money we have.   Love and loss aren't dictated by money. Nor should our lives.   Our lives should be lived and memories built in the pursuit of happiness, not the pursuit of money.   Money does play a part in our lives, but never should it be so important that it consumes us and clogs us from simple joys and basic blessings, which are of course never basic at all. I type these words not as someone who has risen above the fear of money, but as someone who is guilty of falling prey to it almost on a daily basis and is lucky enough to have caught a few tidbits of wisdom here and there and nip the fear in the ass when it rears its ugly face. I caught myself last night when talking to my adventurous daughter, Paige, who packed a few bags last year and headed to CA in pursuit of her happiness.   I fell right into the "you should be a nurse" conversation.   You know, the "you need money, it is safe, it is respectable, it is secure" conversation that great mom's do when they think their babies need protection because somehow money and security go hand and hand. I caught myself quickly last night and for that I am grateful. Wisdom speaks very softly but does indeed speak loud enough to those who are willing to listen.   Wisdom tells us that money is indeed a wonderful energy to surround yourself around without getting lost in its allure. Money offers us opportunities to grow, to expand and experience. It offers all things material for ourselves and our loved ones. It offers us tomorrows adventures if we are smart enough to live for only the magic of today. Money is an invaluable asset and I don't discount the necessity of it, but I also will never pursue it so much that it ruins my Spring. Typically the more money we have, the more we can spend, grow, share, explore, expand and play and in that way, money does make the world go round.  Money in of itself holds no value, but how it is used, what it is used for and how it is managed is of value.  The energy of money, like all energy is movement.  Money must be used in order for it to be of value, but what is of value is what I pursue. Money can't buy me abundance. I can't plant money seeds and get money bushes.   I can't call money on a Monday night and talk to it about football.   I can't hold money on a cold night and I sure as hell can't feel its warmth from a tender hug or a passionate kiss. I can't hold it tight to me and nurture it as I did my children.   Money doesn't text me out of the blue and asks "Are you smiling today?" like my friend, Steve, who I haven't seen in twenty plus years does every few weeks since he saw me falling down the rabbit hole during the elections. Money doesn't read my blogs and offer me thoughtful insights like my friend, Chris, who also isn't a daily confidant but an old high school friend. Money doesn't message me with some calming words of advice after he notices I may be heading into the crazy zone after the election of 45 in the way my old friend Ed did, who again I haven't seen since high school and currently lives in VA. Money can't give me A- blood like my best friend Stacey can.   Money also can't get stupid silly drunk with me like Stacey can either! There is something to say about old money, but it doesn't hold a candle to old friends.   Money is an energetic vibration that will rise with us when we pursue that in which we rise to.   Maybe because I am a child without a mother I can see differently the pursuit of happiness or maybe because being without money doesn't frighten me as much as being without people does, but for whatever reason, I would rather pursue the joy of wealth rather than the pursuit of money. Happy Spring, everyone.  Enjoy the abundance it has to offer. ​“Money is a guarantee that we may have what we want in the future. Though we need nothing at the moment it insures the possibility of satisfying a new desire when it arises.” --Aristotle “If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” —Edmund Burke