#i need to stop watching the old videos
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Hey I’m gonna throw up
#christian cage#edge and christian#adam copeland#I can’t stop watching old videos of them#why did i make this#need them back#aew#my mvs
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Rory's first session with steadiness training and she's crushing it!
#dogblr#rory borealis#my face#bird dog training#so bird dogs need a really strong WOAH (stop moving and stay) for safety#and also to help encourage pointing in younger dogs (you woah them when they have the scent of the bird before the bird flushes)#ive never taught woah before so i read a bunch of books and watched a bunch of videos#one of the first steps is steadiness (basically impulse control)#so were using my elevated step and some kibbles and a flat collar with a tab leash#basically once your dog understands the board you can start#hold the tab loosely (no tension in the leash but enough that you can stop them from going after the snack)#throw the snack and dont let the dog go for it (hold leash and feed snacks on the board)#make sure theres no tension in the leash before you release#the dog should be standing there of their own will not the leash stopping them#its really hard so make sure the dog is exercised and calm before you start esp the first time#and only do short short sessions#and reward HEAVILY#there are faster more old fashioned ways to teach it#but shes a baby and i dont mind going slow so this is what im doing#also - look at my face i was so unsure if she would stay 😂
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#I’ve been listening to a lot of ‘resident evil 9 speculation’ videos#(this is bad for my mental health lmao)#why do people think Chris is the only one getting old!!!#they’re acting like Chris and Leon have a 20 year age gap between each other!!!#dl#I just need to stop watching these lol
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^_^
#i need to stop watching baldis basics videos. my youtube is literally like a 9yr old's#i watch slime asmr videos and cats.... and goats and thats about it... ohyea and minecraft mods#ugh.. week 8 burnout is real#yap
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i need one of my siblings or friends to get married and have a baby stat bc i don't plan on having kids and i don't have a job where i work with kids anymore and my baby cousins are grown up now. and i miss hanging out with babies and little kids so much
#just watched a video of some guy playing a game with his baby brother#and the kids shrieking laughter reminded me so much of the way my cousins would laugh when they were little#it made me so sad i miss them when they were babies and i miss the kids at my old camp job too :(#anyways. my brother needs to stop fucking around and find someone he actually wants to have a kid w bc i need a little niece or nephew NOW#shut up hanna
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dude i swear if i actually make gang's bay a real show and i write a joke about being trans people are gonna be like "this is incredibly offensive to trans people" and im gonna have to come out and be like "yall im literally a trans person writing myself im just having a laugh why cant you too"
like seriously where's the line between a joke poking fun for laughs and a joke that's actually offensive? i feel like that's a little bit subjective dontcha think
#sorry i literally cant stop thinking about this#i think we need to learn how to laugh at our own imperfections and just our attributes in general#even when they're being joked about from an outside perspective#people laugh at italian stereotypes and little german boy and conservative cartoons actively trying to offend queer people#oh but when a guy known to make fun of autistics makes a video making fun of 20-years-old european music suddenly thats bad#i feel like this ties into the whole idea of critical thinking too. which people are actively getting worse at on all sides#people need to learn to lighten up. not everything needs to either be 'safe to enjoy' or 'actively avoid this bad thing because its bad'#i actively watch helluva boss despite all the controversy around it. i dont give a fuck it's a funny show about hell whatever#i've been trying to avoid saying it because i was afraid people would block me about it. personally i dont have an opinion on the drama#it's just. swagever dude! im so tired of controversy over media actually what the fuck ever i dont care#there's an episode of clone high where they have a REALLY stereotyped charicature of adhd. i watch it anyway bc it's silly#are people boycotting the new spiderverse over the alleged stress workers faced? doesnt fucking seem like it!#idk maybe im just stubborn. or people REALLY need to grow thicker skin and lighten up#there is almost ALWAYS gonna be problems with something you like. learn to not give a shit and have fun anyway
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like it’s VERY very important to not text and drive. and i understand how dangerous it is to do that and to be distracted at all in any way for any amount of time on the road. i know it’s important to learn about these stories and bear witness to them. but i just think. like idk. watching multiple of them every day for 10 days (with a two day break halfway through for the weekend) is realy… like idk. i think after seeing a couple you can get the point. i don’t want to sound dismissive or lackadaisacal and im scared im sounding like that but i just am so freaked out by all of this and witb every new horror they’re showing us it’s scaring me worse.
#purrs#delete later#car accidents tw#death tw#child death tw#ask to tag#drivers ed tag#like this sucks so bad. we go from watching a video about how to drive in the city… to a 10 minute vid of a man talking abt how he hit and#killed 3 kids and it shows a PICTURE OF THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT WITH BLOOD AND EVERYTHING… and then after the video we immediately start#talking about like. fucking street cleaners and how you have to watch out for them. HOW is the video about the kids being hit and killed#part of the flow of the learning. what purpose does it serve. and it’s like these are REAL PEOPLE who died. real kids who existed. and it#just feels kind of fucked up. maybe it’s more fucked up thst im not following the flow and accepting the weight of it but it’s hard to when#im scared as fuck and just want to not be shown gore videos anymore. and then once we pick up the content again like abt street cleaners and#shit i can’t focus on any content bc i have to wind down from seeing the dead bodies and hearing the letter the parents wrote. like how is t#this helping. maybe it’s landing / more necessary for the 16 year olds but im 24. i am a whole adult. i do not take being alive for granted#i am terrified of death and dying and painfully aware of how fragile human beings are and how easy it is to be in danger. this is not#helping me or sending me a message it’s just making me so scared and terrified to even leave the house and unable to stop thinking about#death or injury lol!!! and i can’t tell them to stop and i can’t quit bc i need my fucking license so i have to just put my head down and#do this but it sucks indescribably. and we also saw one of those trick videos again too that makes you feel stupid bc it tells you to count#the number of lkke. things you see and it turns out i missed a few AND they were like did you notice what was going on in the background snd#i didn’t bc i was too busy counting the fucking things they told us to. i want to SCREAM. this makes me feel so stupid and helpless lolllll#<- as i was typing that we were learning about the chance of survival if you are hit by a car at different speeds! bc that’s relevant 😍😍😍😍😍😍#anyways. my therapist was telling me stuff abt how i need to remember this isn’t targeted for me and i need to regulate my nervous system an#and how to calm down when it triggers me but i forgot everything she said literally 5 hours ago and now im here freaking the fuck out so. 🥰
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Having a mental breakdown over the video of seb and mark's Singapore date... 🫠
#clutching my chest like some victorian maiden#idk why i didnt realize there was video evidence but AAAAAAHHHHH#cant stop biting my hand trying to contain myself LOL#what watching a 14 yr old video at 5 am does to a man#but anyways im just idek#i have so many thoughts about this video#all the pics made me freak out enough but the vid! THE VID!!!#im just rly glad this exists#cause there's not too much content from back then compared to now#so having like a video of them basically on a date is like a precious gem to me sjdkfk#i would be like 'heres my top 10 thoughts' but it would just be incoherent rambling and keyboard smashes#cant even make it through a 4 min vid without pausing constantly to go AAAAGGHHH#forgive me its 5 am and im still sick#*actually yknow i thoughts the pics were *a lot* but there's so many things in this vid version i cant handle#HOW DOES THIS EXIST BUT THANK GOD IT DOES#seb has literal heart eyes my god#i need to stop bcs i keep having to come back to edit these tags every time i get 10 secs further#to me this vid is just: mark webber and his str boywife seb#sebmark out here doing pr challenge vids before they were cool#someone in the comments saying seb looks like a 'kleine mädchen' we get it hes babygirl#the vid descrip being 'MW and SV spend an evening in singapore' 😵💫😵💫#alright i finished the vid *clutching it in my arms*#ty to the random person on tiktok who linked it i owe you my life#srsly tho finding these artifacts is <3 to me#catie.rambling.txt
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just. just need to be emotional about loneliness for a minute. as a treat.
#man i need to stop watching Certain youtube videos because they just make me so sad.#who is going to go on a roadtrip in an old ford bronco w me ....#who is going to share their 2 am emergencies w me ....#like i'm living my life and having experiences and it's all very fake and closeted But It's Fine.#but like. sometimes i wish i lived in a city w a gay bar. you know?#i'm just so desperate for genuine connection w somebody.#where i don't have to mask or hide the transness. i can just exist & appreciate the company of someone else who is also just. existing.
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I HAD TO DO IT TO ‘EM | for @girlpsych
There was a picnic basket in the back seat, all loaded up with lunch and the kinds of snacks necessary for their day-long journey to his home state. How he managed to pluck Gwen out of her daily routine and into an out-of-the-blue road trip was beyond him, but the young man wasn’t in a position to question it. He knew better — they were building something. Evan didn’t want to put too much stock into what that could be in the case that he was wrong in thinking of the multiple ways they could grow ( he’d think of their friendship, know that it was sturdy as ever, and wonder about MORE ).
The image of her in his t-shirt that one time still burned in his mind.
Evidently, taking her HOME was something important to him. He’d been letting her into the world that was Evan Beckett, as much as she was letting him into her own as Gwen Blake. SO — this all led to his desire to visit his home state, see the beaches again, to hear country music on all of the popular radio stations. For sweet tea. She’d been the first and only thought for company, and while he was certain about the plan to get them there, anything else was to be worked out on the fly.
A solid ten hours from start to finish meant filling time with the radio, with conversation or with silence, and while Evan’s mind could often run a thousand miles a minute, he felt at ease driving with Gwen.
‘ Oh, we’ve got to get ourselves some peach cobbler, ‘ he said, glancing over at her and grinning, the idea of visiting any mom-and-pop shop for some fresh baked cobbler gave him chills. He was excited to share his home state with her in one way or another, and wasn’t shy in showing it.
#honestly what if i hyped the icon up for literally no reason#also i need to stop watching old jenna julien videos rip me#aries kitchen be LIKE#anyway these tags are completely useless#† ( in my mind im going to carolina // STARTERS )#† ( heard the highway calling // THREADS )#girlpsych#MAINS // girlpsych — gwen ( i gotta talk about this with the man upstairs )
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Thinking about Cowboy stuff.
#Cade.Txts#i watched a video about queer history of the old west d:D#was super interesting and they even included a bit about transmen from that time too which made me v happy.#old gay cowboy poetry...ough. one of em may of made me cry.#i need 2 watch more videos about queer history its fun to learn about#wanna be a gay ass cowboy....wish i still went horse back riding d:(#we stopped cus we couldn't afford it anymore but man i miss the horses.
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#mothers day#it still counts even though it's 12:30#when I just became a mother#this song came out#dancing with a baby#lol#I remember watching this video with him#I didn't really get to have youth#but I honestly think this is better#I think I will be young my whole life#Sagittarius#this is also a channeled song#two things can be true#I do what the fuck I want#fuck who's trying to stop me#it's me and my babies against the world#my son gave me the best Mother's Day#like he just knew exactly what I needed#my daughter helped lol#but he's a little water sign#I did good#my babies are so good#and just good people#only god can judge ya#that's the meaning of my name#that should have given a clue#lmao#I forgot what my middle name means#it means I'm old lol#because it's one of those where you can peg someone's age when they tell you
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Just a bunch of Useful websites - Updated for 2023
Removed/checked all links to make sure everything is working (03/03/23). Hope they help!
Sejda - Free online PDF editor.
Supercook - Have ingredients but no idea what to make? Put them in here and it'll give you recipe ideas.
Still Tasty - Trying the above but unsure about whether that sauce in the fridge is still edible? Check here first.
Archive.ph - Paywall bypass. Like 12ft below but appears to work far better and across more sites in my testing. I'd recommend trying this one first as I had more success with it.
12ft – Hate paywalls? Try this site out.
Where Is This - Want to know where a picture was taken, this site can help.
TOS/DR - Terms of service, didn't read. Gives you a summary of terms of service plus gives each site a privacy rating.
OneLook - Reverse dictionary for when you know the description of the word but can't for the life of you remember the actual word.
My Abandonware - Brilliant site for free, legal games. Has games from 1978 up to present day across pc and console. You'll be surprised by some of the games on there, some absolute gems.
Project Gutenberg – Always ends up on these type of lists and for very good reason. All works that are copyright free in one place.
Ninite – New PC? Install all of your programs in one go with no bloat or unnecessary crap.
PatchMyPC - Alternative to ninite with over 300 app options to keep upto date. Free for home users.
Unchecky – Tired of software trying to install additional unwanted programs? This will stop it completely by unchecking the necessary boxes when you install.
Sci-Hub – Research papers galore! Check here before shelling out money. And if it’s not here, try the next link in our list.
LibGen – Lots of free PDFs relate primarily to the sciences.
Zotero – A free and easy to use program to collect, organize, cite and share research.
Car Complaints – Buying a used car? Check out what other owners of the same model have to say about it first.
CamelCamelCamel – Check the historical prices of items on Amazon and set alerts for when prices drop.
Have I Been Pawned – Still the king when it comes to checking if your online accounts have been released in a data breach. Also able to sign up for email alerts if you’ve ever a victim of a breach.
I Have No TV - A collection of documentaries for you to while away the time. Completely free.
Radio Garden – Think Google Earth but wherever you zoom, you get the radio station of that place.
Just The Recipe – Paste in the url and get just the recipe as a result. No life story or adverts.
Tineye – An Amazing reverse image search tool.
My 90s TV – Simulates 90’s TV using YouTube videos. Also has My80sTV, My70sTV, My60sTV and for the younger ones out there, My00sTV. Lose yourself in nostalgia.
Foto Forensics – Free image analysis tools.
Old Games Download – A repository of games from the 90’s and early 2000’s. Get your fix of nostalgia here.
Online OCR – Convert pictures of text into actual text and output it in the format you need.
Remove Background – An amazingly quick and accurate way to remove backgrounds from your pictures.
Twoseven – Allows you to sync videos from providers such as Netflix, Youtube, Disney+ etc and watch them with your friends. Ad free and also has the ability to do real time video and text chat.
Terms of Service, Didn’t Read – Get a quick summary of Terms of service plus a privacy rating.
Coolors – Struggling to get a good combination of colors? This site will generate color palettes for you.
This To That – Need to glue two things together? This’ll help.
Photopea – A free online alternative to Adobe Photoshop. Does everything in your browser.
BitWarden – Free open source password manager.
Just Beam It - Peer to peer file transfer. Drop the file in on one end, click create link and send to whoever. Leave your pc on that page while they download. Because of how it works there are no file limits. It's genuinely amazing. Best file transfer system I have ever used.
Atlas Obscura – Travelling to a new place? Find out the hidden treasures you should go to with Atlas Obscura.
ID Ransomware – Ever get ransomware on your computer? Use this to see if the virus infecting your pc has been cracked yet or not. Potentially saving you money. You can also sign up for email notifications if your particular problem hasn’t been cracked yet.
Way Back Machine – The Internet Archive is a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites and loads more.
Rome2Rio – Directions from anywhere to anywhere by bus, train, plane, car and ferry.
Splitter – Seperate different audio tracks audio. Allowing you to split out music from the words for example.
myNoise – Gives you beautiful noises to match your mood. Increase your productivity, calm down and need help sleeping? All here for you.
DeepL – Best language translation tool on the web.
Forvo – Alternatively, if you need to hear a local speaking a word, this is the site for you.
For even more useful sites, there is an expanded list that can be found here.
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There's a viral video circulating from the Fort Worth Zoo, of two keepers who ended up in a habitat at the same time as a silverback gorilla. Spoiler for good news: neither the humans nor the gorilla got hurt. It's a bad situation that ended extremely well, and that's why I want to talk about it.
The audio for this video is mostly someone praying loudly, so if you need to turn the audio off to watch it, you won't miss anything relevant. If you don't want to watch it, here's the summary: it starts with a keeper running around the corner into the main exhibit, pursued by a large male gorilla. She is quickly able to get into a doorway at the back of the exhibit, but does not completely close the door because the gorilla is standing across from her, watching. He eventually moves off to the right hand side of the exhibit, where we can see a keeper is trapped in the corner at the front. She was trying to move towards the exit as he moved to the right, and she stops, standing very still behind a tree, while he stays along the far right wall. They stay like that for a minute, and then the gorilla runs to the front right corner, and the keeper is able to run to the door in the back of the exhibit and get to safety.
Let's start with basic information. Even though it's just going viral now, this video is from October of 2023. It was taken not by a guest, but by the zoo security officer responding to the situation. Hmmm, seems like he maybe should have been doing something else during that situation, instead of than taking a phone video. It's going viral now because the guy (who is no longer employed at the zoo) decided to post it on TikTok for his five minutes of fame. This guy immediately started giving all sorts of media interviews, answering questions like "why no tranquilizers" inappropriately, making memes out of his own video, generally distasteful shit.
Zoo spokesperson Avery Elander gave a public statement that "thankfully, there was no physical contact between keepers and gorilla, and all staff and animals are safe." A comment from the zoo has also indicated that the incident was due to keeper error. (As opposed to, for instance, something in the fencing breaking.) According to the guy who posted the video, a lock was left unsecured and the gorilla was able to open the door to the habitat. I don't know if I buy it, and again, this just... is probably why he doesn't have a job anymore. By sharing that detail - real or not - he places a ton of public scrutiny and blame on that keeper team. (If that's what happened, I can promise you it will have been dealt with internally.) He also was nice enough to say he wouldn't name the women in the video... but verified they're still staffers at the zoo... which means they're eminently identifiable! Excuse me while I ragequit for a second.
So there's two reasons I wanted to talk about this. The first is to make sure it is well known that this guy is purposefully and intentionally exploiting the worst day of someone's life for media attention. Their lives were in danger, and he's using it for fame. His name is in the media articles - I'm not going to share it because he doesn't deserve that attention. The second reason, though, is because this video is a masterclass on how to survive if you end up sharing space with a gorilla. Every zoo person I've spoken to or seen comment on the video is so, so impressed with how the keepers handled themselves.
The gorilla in this video is 34-year-old Elmo. All apes in AZA zoos are managed in protected contact, so keepers are supposed to be separated from them by a barrier at all times. The zookeepers were in the habitat putting out a mid-day meal when he got out. Watching the video, you can see he's not actively being aggressive towards them - he's not making threat displays or trying to approach them. Mostly, Elmo seems like he doesn't know what is going on and he's kinda freaked out about it. (This is confirmed in the zoo's press statement, too). The staff stayed calm, and importantly, watched and waited to see how he'd move and act.
The zoo did say one thing, though, that's a bit misleading. In one article, their press person I quote as saying “In general, gorillas are considered the “gentle giants” of the great ape species.” Just because this may be true in comparison to other great ape species doesn't meant gorilla aren't still incredibly dangerous. This type of messaging always worries me, because I think it leads people to misunderstand the risks of being close to megafauna. Gorilla are extremely strong animals, and their social norms/behaviors are very different from that of humans. That's why it's such a big deal any time people end up in gorilla habitats, and why sometimes in those circumstances lethal measures have to be taken to protect human life.
These keepers are incredibly lucky to be unharmed. These women stayed safe specifically because they're trained professionals who knew how to act around gorilla, they knew this particular animal well, and they'd learned the escapes from the exhibit just in case this ever happened. We should applaud them for their cool heads and quick thinking.
As for the guy who posted the video? As a colleague put it, may he always step on a Lego.
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Oc Art time!
Hi! This is Fault <3 He is Baby and Plush is a Twitch Streamer and I looovveee him :D
He's my little romance-based-story character (His main plot is Romance and it's Adorable aaaaaaaa)
Okie that's all for now :]
#He's lovely i love plush eeee#oc art#digitalart#digital art#I keep not putting a space inbetween digital and art on accident because DeviantArt doesn't allow spaces inbetween tags LOL#Also his outfit was a tiny bit inspired by this one 3rd life grian design but idk how i forgor#dog oc#I call him a Puppy sometimes but he's a 20 year old man.#still adorable tho#lol#idk what else to tag but I am watching a Hypno video atm so I need to stop typing bbbyyeeee
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#tag talk#I've started using music to fall asleep to. because if you watch a video and start to feel sleepy but then stop once you close the video?#the answer is to leave the video running while you fall asleep of course#I'm using music not talking so I don't dream funky and sleep restlessly.#it probably says horrible things about my ability to calm down. rest. and not need distraction. but anything that helps right?#idk. the brain's inability to sit with any sort of quiet. any sort of space to think.#I can't stand when nothing is happening because then I have time to think my own thoughts.#I'm just high school again. which... yeah I'm stressed to hell so it makes sense. but it's annoying and a little disappointing#disappointing that enough stress can just revert me back. I know I'll bounce back faster and more healthily because of the work I've done#but it's still annoying to be back in this same place#how can you move on when you're constantly visiting your old self?#is it nostalgia? trauma? a secret other thing? perhaps all of them at once? I don't know.#I can never be estranged from my bio sex because I'm him all the time.#things get bad and I'm just that terrified little kid who's convinced everyone can read his mind and hates him and wants to hurt him.#and then I'm older me. angry and ready to hurt anyone who touches us. because I'm fucking done with getting pushed around#but I want to get back to me. I want to get back to smiling and laughing so hard I have to lie down on the cold kitchen tile to calm down#one of my minecraft kids told me yesterday that his face hurt from smiling so much while talking to me. that's the kind of person I am now#and I want to be that. I want to be her. I want to be me. I'm so tired of bouncing between past and present.#what does it say that my protective mode is a man and my emotionally honest mode is a woman? idk#trans men often live more emotionally honest and authentic when they transition. obviously my experience will be limited data#I don't think it means anything except the inherent fear that is perhaps characterized so often in trans-women experiences#the fear that becoming myself is somehow reductive of gender roles. the fear that I'm confirming some deeply held bias#which is bullshit. I can be who I want. and I certainly can be who I AM. I just. I want to be me. I want to lose the pressure#because sharing my experiences with others in a way that improves other people's lives is what I want from life.#hmmmm. just had a thought about how minecraft allows me to express whichever side of me I want.#the eager insufferable know it all kid who just wanted to create the world in his own image.#the paranoid and nervous maniac who just wanted everything ordered properly and for it to stay predictable for even just two fucking minutes#and me. the one who wants to create things with others. to engineer collaborative experiences and to build others up and make them happier#idk. I vibe with a lot of stuff I read about did but I really don't match so none of this is trying to pretend or co-opt identity.#but idk. I'm so tired of being split between these eras of my life and getting thrown back into one of those people when things get bad
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