#i might have more thoughts in the future just bc it's me?? but this is what i have atm and it was v fun
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Kung Fu Panda 4 - The Movie
The last really, really long discussion post (for now).
Major spoilers ahead!
This review is full of spoilers, so please refrain from reading through it until you've watched KFP4. I would highly suggest doing so, as I want everyone to form their own opinions without my influence. The movie has its flaws (some of which admittedly being a bit distracting), but it's a fun film that has things to offer.
Kung Fu Panda 4 is a fun movie (take that as you will) that takes its audience on an action-packed, surprisingly funny, yet relatively contained adventure on which Po doesn't really do much. It's an inconsequential, safe sequel that doesn't really hurt the franchise but adds close to nothing.
I had a good time watching the movie. It was obviously produced with its theater experience in mind and the action scenes especially reflected that priority. The humor was actually funny sometimes and I enjoyed Po and Zhen's dynamic. During the film, I was able to put most (most!) of my grievances aside and take the movie for what it is. I've discovered that the best way to watch KFP4 is with low expectations and an open mind.
I have a lot of things to say about KFP4, both complaints and compliments (though the former might be taking the forefront in this review), and I hope this review can help those of you who have seen the movie organize your thoughts. I've been having a lot of trouble with that specific aspect of things myself. Those who get it get it.
With that said, let's get into my full review of KFP4! I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to write this and I'm so excited to share every single thought.
I'm going to follow the format of my first discussion post and curate a bulleted list of my thoughts, followed by an analysis of each of these points. Keep in mind that everything I say is IMO and this is more of a rant post than anything else.
Here are my main points:
The Furious Five's role is comically minuscule in the context of the film. Their actions are inconsequential and add nothing to the plot (a confirmed last-minute add), and they have 30~ seconds of screen time. Shifu is also largely irrelevant.
Mr. Ping and Li's presence has little to no effect on the movie (though I won't complain too much because they were pretty fun to watch and this movie has bigger problems). In almost any scenario, I am adamantly against having characters present that don't add anything to the narrative; however, Mr. Ping is an exception. I love Mr. Ping. James Hong is a gem.
Zhen's screen time is not utilized well and her character is underdeveloped. She definitely wasn't annoying, but I didn't find her either compelling or funny enough to warrant the screen time she was given, especially considering it wasn't used to establish a backstory/strong motives. This makes me feel bad for the character because the movie kind of screwed her out of any substantial development.
The Chameleon, while complimented greatly by Viola Davis, is an underwhelming villain. Viola Davis is amazing in this film and I would suggest watching it for her performance if for nothing else, but the Chameleon is underwhelming considering the super cool concept behind the character.
The film feels very rushed. Apologies to those who disagree, but I think the pacing is atrocious and the final fight is anticlimactic. The movie felt like a word-vomit with no discernible intermissions that stops abruptly when the film ends.
I felt as though Po didn't change/grow as a person and the audience never had a chance to either bond with or relate to his character. His internal struggle is kept to a minimum and we don't spend a moment alone with him as an audience, which is disorienting and distracting. Watching the film felt like running into an old friend at the store who's too in a rush to have a real conversation.
The action scenes were strong with few exceptions. Creative art direction was utilized and I thought the martial arts choreography was entertaining and dynamic. I love the color palette of the film and many scenes were very impressive visually.
With my main points established, I do believe it's ranting time. Strap in, folks.
Let's start strong with the Furious Five: I'm gutted. Chagrined, despondent, crestfallen, etc.
The lack of the Furious Five negatively affects KFP4 so much, because not only does their absence hurt the atmospheric integrity of KFP as a franchise, it also forces KFP4 to bring in a slew of different characters—all while still noncommittally including the FF at the very end because I believe the marketing team required it—that clog up the cast a bit. It all goes to show how important strong, established side characters are.
The Furious Five are side characters, but the role of "side character" does not equate to being irrelevant, expendable, or exchangeable. I recognize that the Furious Five aren't super developed as characters beyond a handful of lines that allude to traits sprinkled sparingly among the members; however, I believe that the tiny bits of development we have been given have proved impactful in the past. Tigress's development in KFP2 is a prime example of how much narratively conscious changes (however small they may be) can positively affect these movies.
Because of limited runtimes, the Furious Five often operate as more of a singular unit than five individuals. Even so, I don't think discarding them is valid. They're so important to the KFP universe (to Po's universe!) and not having them with him feels so wrong. The Furious Five are fully integral to the heart of Kung Fu Panda, which is why I believe a lot of those who have seen the new movie have expressed something feeling "off" or something being missing.
I agree with this sentiment. To me, KFP4 didn't feel like a KFP movie. I don't need a Furious Five spin-off movie and I can be fully content with a KFP5 centered around Po's journey as an individual as was intended from the beginning, but he can't carry an entire movie on his back. As strong as he is in every sense of the word, he is only one character. He's the centerpiece of the franchise, but a centerpiece can only go so far without the rest of the design, so to speak.
For me, the Furious Five's absence is one of this film's biggest faults. It's huge and glaring. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either, because the friends with whom I saw the film refused to talk about any other aspect of the movie after seeing it. Seeing them at the end was better than nothing, of course, but it was a disappointing culmination after eight years of waiting.
That all is to say I feel robbed. Despite all of this, though, I understand that there were reasons why the Furious Five weren't included in the movie. I don't believe the production team would exclude the Furious Five unless they weren't given a choice.
Shifu and Po's dynamic continues to be thoroughly delightful but their interactions are short and simplified. I would have loved to see more of them in this film, especially considering the extreme relevance of teacher-student relationships in KFP4. I (somewhat) digress, though, because the idea of Shifu having to live at the Jade Palace with only Po for an extended period of time is hilarious enough on its own. Maybe that's what the short film is about!
The comedy is odd but has some jokes that stand out. Po maintains a healthy relationship with his inner sass, which I think makes him more fun to watch and kind of eradicates the man-child verdict. Some jokes don't land, of course, but I genuinely thought KFP4 had some funny moments. Mr. Ping was consistently awesome and Po had some good lines sprinkled throughout the film.
As for Mr. Ping, he and Li Shan are the subjects of the film's B-plot as they follow Po to Juniper City out of shared concern for their son's safety. In my mind, they don't add anything to the story that couldn't have been brought about by other characters, but they had their moments of being entertaining. I enjoyed their silliness and thought they had a cute dynamic if nothing else.
Speaking of other characters, I want to discuss KFP4's deuteragonist and why I genuinely feel bad about the way her character was treated.
I want to let it be known that I'm still not on board with Po passing the Dragon Warrior torch to another character. While I agree that his arc is now calling for him to have a student, I disagree with the notion of him retiring from his DW role.
As I stated in my first discussion post:
Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.
When it comes to Zhen as a character, contrary to what I predicted I would think of her, I thought she was okay. While I was still a bit distracted by how out-of-place her design looks, I wasn't truly annoyed by her at any point and she and Po had some cute moments. Even so, I think their relationship could have been a bit more refined and developed.
While it's evident that Po and Zhen are meant to have a teacher-student/mentor-apprentice dynamic, I think their relationship feels half-baked. There were parallels that contradicted one another and ended up being confusing come the film's conclusion, and the nature of their relationship seems to vacillate depending on the scene. Additionally, the strength of their bond goes from zero to one hundred within thirty-ish minutes and left me with a bit of whiplash.
We're shown that Po and Zhen care about one another, but we're never shown why. They have a brief conversation during which they bond over being orphans, and Zhen says at one point, "You're actually a good guy," but that's it. This obvious lack of development is a bit disorienting because we're later led to believe that Zhen and Po care very deeply for one another when there's almost nothing to back it up.
A scene that sticks out to me when discussing this is when Zhen attack-hugs Po in a way that explicitly mirrors Tigress's hug from KFP2. This happens around the beginning of the third act, and while it had the potential to be an endearing moment, I think it fell flat.
The impact of Tigress's hug was brought on by her character's hardcore nature and reputation of being heartless, further strengthened with the knowledge that she was hugging Po (which was obviously way outside her comfort zone) as a show of companionship and fundamental understanding. Tigress hugged Po because he needed someone to recognize his strive for closure.
Zhen's hug had little to no impact because she had no reason to do it and it didn't indicate growth. She hugs Po because she's sorry for betraying him and doesn't want him to be killed by the Chameleon, but neither of these things are newly-established via this hug; we have already gathered by now that Zhen regrets betraying Po and doesn't want him to get hurt.
The hug is far from the movie's weakest point, but I think it's unnecessary given the context. I'm big on hugs in movies (an underutilized form of platonic affection, in my opinion), but it didn't fit here. I don't hate it, and I see it as an honest effort to bring emotionality to Po and Zhen's relationship, but it seems arbitrary.
Zhen and Po's relationship has a lot of potential and I'd be open to seeing more of them in the future, but I think some more thoughtful development needs to occur before I can humor it further. Even so, I can see myself featuring Zhen in some future post-KFP4 one-shots—sparingly, of course, because we have a lot of Furious Five content to compensate for.
Overall, they had a cute dynamic and some sweet moments but I'm not attached. I'm on board with Po having a student but I think their relationship needs a lot more development, something that this film unfortunately didn't give them time to either accomplish or earn.
Now, onto the Chameleon!
The concept of the Chameleon's character is admittedly super interesting. She's the deuteragonist's fastidious mother figure who feels that Zhen owes her a debt and as a result holds her to an impossible standard. That dynamic had the potential to be so interesting but I didn't think it was explored at all. There is no indication of Zhen having any internal conflict about fighting the Chameleon, no emotional complexity between them at all; it's disappointing because I think it would've added a bit of earnestness to the film.
Additionally, the idea of a shape-shifting villain is versatile. A shape-shifting villain gives those telling the story a lot of room to experiment with the protagonist and different ways in which the main character can be challenged and tested. It's yet another good idea utilized poorly. Just one idea: the Chameleon could have disguised herself as one (or several) of Po's family, friends, etc. and brought to fruition a new arc with his character (seeing as he arguably doesn't have one in this film), but she only disguises herself as Zhen very briefly in the movie.
Furthermore, the Chameleon completely relies on the powers of previous villains to pose any sort of threat to the main characters. She summons Po's former nemeses from the Spirit Realm (despite there being little logic in doing so considering Kai's literal evisceration) and takes their kung fu abilities for herself.
An excerpt from my first KFP4 discussion post that I think is relevant to the point I'm trying to make:
I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.
While there was an honest effort made to portray the Chameleon as intimidating, I never felt as though any of the characters were endangered by either her or her army of lizard henchman. She's a visually appealing character (aside from her eyes, which I thought more resembled those of a gecko than a chameleon) and I greatly enjoyed Davis's performance, but overall I don't see the Chameleon as a notable villain.
The return of Tai Lung (had he been on his own) had the makings to be an excellent story, especially considering the importance of teacher-student dynamics in KFP4. To see him interacting with Shifu would have been incredible and could have led to further closure on Tai Lung's end (because I think that's kind of what the team was going for anyway), but it didn't happen.
It was nice to see Ian McShane reprise his role, but I wish Tai Lung's characterization had been more reminiscent of the way he was in the first film and more complimentary of his overall character arc. Tai Lung isn't a one-dimensional villain with a singular goal and motivation, and I couldn't help but feel as though the complexity of his character was simplified for the sake of KFP4's narrative.
Tai Lung's presence in KFP4 may be odd, but Shen and Kai's appearances are even more so. Kai, if I remember correctly, was fully obliterated by Po, reduced to literal particles on screen (which is kind of wild now that I think about it). Shen being in the Spirit Realm makes sense all things considered; however, Po and Li had no visible reaction to his presence, which seemed a bit unlikely considering Shen's deeds. This plot hole can likely be attributed to the fact that Shen and Kai's cameos (to my knowledge) were last-minute additions to the movie.
I have to talk about the pacing. I have to. I'm sorry, bear with me.
To me, the film's pacing is erratic and disconcerting. While I can appreciate a quick-moving narrative that doesn't dawdle on storylines that aren't interesting/important, KFP4 kind of flings itself too far in the opposite direction and ends up being frighteningly fast-paced. Once the credits began, I felt like I had been holding my breath for the entire movie.
KFP4 is confusing because while the runtime is standard for a KFP movie, it feels incredibly short. At the same time, the film's story moves at a breakneck speed and leaves little time for heart and development. These things culminate into a barreling boulder of a movie that simply doesn't have time to let its characters, story, or audience take a breath.
A fast pace is not inherently negative, but I don't think it worked in the favor of KFP4. The KFP franchise has always been very emotionally grounded (and just very grounded in general), so to see a film in which emotion/heart takes an aggressive backseat in comparison to action and comedy is jarring. While I think it's unreasonable for fans to expect the same emotional integrity as the original films to be present in the current and upcoming ones, I still think there's room for Po to grow and I felt as though the notion of him developing further was brushed aside in this film.
As for Po's growth, I felt it was nearly nonexistent. The previous trilogy wrapped up his character's journey beautifully and I know that KFP4 was bound to struggle with this particular aspect of making another KFP film; however, just because the strongest pillars of Po's character are established doesn't serve as a valid excuse to reverse his development and repeat what he learned in KFP3.
In KFP3, Po learned firsthand that he is capable of spreading wisdom and teaching kung fu. He also learns that he is constantly growing and that change is inevitable; there is always something more to learn.
"If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now."
"I don't want to be anything more, I like who I am!"
In KFP4, Po pushes against this narrative despite fully accepting it in KFP3, actively reversing crucial parts of his character development achieved in the latter. KFP3 was non-ambiguously about learning to cope with change and responsibility, and I can't help but feel like KFP4 is simply copying this message while not adding anything to it.
Additionally, I felt that KFP4's Po generally felt less personal than he has in the past. In every KFP movie up to the franchise's most recent addition, I felt very connected to Po as an audience member. I felt like I was truly seeing the world of KFP through his eyes. I consider this to be one of the franchise's most impressive feats; it's incredibly difficult to build a universe around a character without making the audience feel limited to one perspective and one part of the world.
With KFP4, I felt both limited and disconnected. The world didn't feel as vast and all-encompassing as it has in the past and Po didn't seem fully like himself. This could be me nitpicking (as I'm prone to do), but I can't recall a single moment in the movie in which Po was alone on screen. Scenes like these are crucial for me because I see them as a meet-cute between the character and the audience, a moment for us to cross the bridge into their world in a way that's silent and intuitive. These little bonding moments are absolutely integral to feeling connected to a character.
Po's dream sequence in the first KFP movie is one of the best examples of this. It presents his aspirations, alludes to his way of life up to the point of the movie, and showcases his personality. During Po's dream sequence, the audience is quite literally inside Po's mind; we're there with him, seeing what he sees, subsequently feeling what he feels. Po is a dreamer at heart and makes the audience feel like dreamers, too.
In KFP4, I felt like I little to no point of reference when it comes to how Po was feeling. I didn't feel immersed in him and his world.
I know I've been very "doom and gloom" throughout this post, which is an exhausting mindset for everyone involved. I want to end my critique with something positive because I think some praise is deserved. Let's just say the movie could have been a lot worse, the details of which I'm sure you're all well aware.
The color palette of the movie is beautiful and somewhat reminiscent of the first film. While the animation style of KFP4 is far more simplistic than its predecessors, I was very impressed with its use of shadow and light. Po's many faces were also hysterical, props to those who helped make him as expressive as he is.
Additionally, the movie's action sequences were clearly thought out and discussed in great detail. The experimentation with camera angles was really fun to watch and I enjoyed the majority of the film's fight scenes. They were fun, bouncy, and entertaining, and quite likely reinstated audiences's love of watching a cuddly panda kick butt.
Congratulations, you've reached the end! Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to read this unnecessarily long and detailed review. As long as I help someone translate their conflicted feelings into coherent thoughts, I'll call it a win.
I want to reiterate that I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 and I had fun while watching the film. It has its flaws and there are a lot of aspects that I dislike, but the effort of the crew is obvious and I greatly admire and respect the hard work put into the film by those who worked on it. This does not at all excuse my issues with the movie, but it's worth saying.
As for the future of the series, I only hope that the next installment is more considerate of the franchise's origins and why Po's story is being told in the first place. I fully believe that another sequel could be good given a strong, passionate crew with a great understanding of the characters and world (and I wouldn't be averse to some previous directors returning, just to put it out there).
Thanks again to those who took the time to read this crazy excuse for a movie review. Feel free to either disagree with me or add things in the replies/reblogs, I'm always looking for more thoughts to think.
Until next time!
#kung fu panda 4#kung fu panda#dreamworks animation#kfp#kfp 4#movie review#i'll add the actual picture of the furious five's cameo when i can get ahold of one of decent quality#my time has come#it wasn't THAT bad#i didn't love it#but it is what it is#it's a tentative 6/10 all things considered#free the five#perhaps i treated kfp3 too harshly#don't get me wrong the movie had good qualities and i can tell a lot of work went into it#a lot of missed potential imo#a lot of characters done dirty#i didn't even mention the score but i thought it was just okay#i wasn't wowed#i know close to nothing about composing though so i should probably just not even go there#credits were the best part both cinematically and musically#i feel mean but i'm not going to be dishonest#bc obviously you all simply must know how i feel about the silly panda movie#a more detailed version of the grievances i have w the dragon warrior plot can be found in my og discussion post if anyone's interested#as well as my thoughts on bringing back old villains#might make some edits to this in the future but this is all i have to say for now
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I love you storytelling I love you world building I love you carefully crafted works I love you time spent into doing what you love I love you pieces embedded into stories that reflect the author I love you detailed backgrounds I love you clear imagery I love you creative writing I love you descriptive scenes I love you tiny details just to have I love you run on sentences for dramatic effect I love you full expression through writing I love you
#and if u just like writing without certain intent and purely for the fun of it#I love u too#bc I do the same w my pwp’s LOL#and that’s totally fine#but it’s all about choice and respecting how people create their craft#and respecting how they want their craft to be handled#my pwp’s can be handled Willy nilly bc im just here for the smut lmao#but my carefully thought out works that have had years of dedicated enveloped into them?#I would like for that to be handled with appreciation and care and that’s okay for me to want to#anyway tonight was very stressful#which says something bc I just planned out all my future classes surprisingly very calmly LOL#and then boom I’m on here stressed lmfao#time for a break!!! I might make more banners bc that was so fun#okay gn everyone!! remember to relax your shoulders and take a deep breath 😮💨#stupid ass emoji just ruined my message 🤨 LMFAO#—in store chit chat! 🍫#DEDICATION not dedicated -_-
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btw to filipino moots im gna be an arenean B) or iskolar ng bayan who knows!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my only choices for college r the big 4 personally i'm so sorrey ... but minus ust tbh bcs i rlly dont want to be a thomasian LOL#IT'S JUST REALLY PERSONAL i don't like the culture of ust & etc . i have my reasons. dlsu is ok but ateneo or up is my Dream#may be a surprise but i've always been a straight a student and real smart :3 even in anything to do w filipino#but that is the one thing that drags my grades (slightly) down ..... but my math is so exemplary and i get perfect computer anything always#bs cs future major hereee but since i want ateneo i'm going for dual degree cs bs-dgdd#yeehaw i never talk abt really real life stuff like this but this is still okey#one day u might get a face revea but only for my eyes bcs im sorta obsessed w and unfortunately think im really cute. so#ANYWAY !!!!! excited for college tbh. scared. but yes!#i havent finished my admu app but it is due friday i am so crazy LMFAOOOOOOO but i have recos alr <3 yay <33#rlly confident in myself but i want to be careful and really get what i desevre. gna do my best and try to get top 15% AND MAYBE even 200#but that one specifically is sorta crazy but tbf i could achieve it if i study a bit more :P so ya#it's amazing bcs ... english is literally second nature to me BUT i am and have always been amazing at math & sci#always been a math kid and sci kid AND art kid AND eng kid and music too and computer#idk. just proud of myself. i love me lol#there's a lot to it but no need to get into specifics :3 im just happy w myself yay!
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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💒🧸🎀🐇
#i've been so so scared and anxious and worried for the future for a while now#everything's changing#my mom is talking about moving (without me lol rip)#i have to become independent now#i fucking hate myself bc im almost 25!!!! and im still a pathetic loser who is dependent on her mom#but ofc i cant be#even if i've thought a lot abt myself and my personality disorders and i think this is just who i am#i need and want to be dependent on someone. to be taken care of and someone to make choices for me#but my mom just dont want to do that which i ofc get sksksk#and idk i dont have a dream. i cant imagine myself capable of any job#but i have two ideas of occupations i might be ok at#buuuuut i have no fkn idea how u get an apartment??? how do u get money? how do u do this and that#i know NOTHING abt being an adult or independent and im so fucking scared#dying seems so much easier and more tempting#i cant do.. cant do it to my mom#also it's sad bc recently a dream has formed in my mind#it's including another person tho. and i dont have any control over that. i cant force someone to choose or want me#so that dream is the least realistic of everything. even if this person really is my dream.... bit i cant count on it#and i have to build a live for myself. even if its not the life i really want#im scared im too dumb and childish and worthless to do so tho
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overanalyzing haruna and tsubaki's conversation in the my prince event bc i got nothing else to do.
their conversation begins after aoi goes to get some beverages for her and haruna. before that though, aoi says that she's been getting better and better at acting as romeo ever since she started practicing with her. aoi praises her, tells her that everything feels right, but she says that the only problem she has is that it lacks authenticity; it lacks motivation.
haruna, right after aoi notes this, says and i'll quote: "Focus on my motivation, on authenticity over an idealized role...."
then aoi goes to get beverages and tsubaki appears with boxed lunches, telling her that it tastes better than it seems.
she thanks tsubaki for the boxed lunches and tsubaki asks haruna how practicing is going, haruna answers that she's getting better and better thanks to aoi. she also adds the fact that aoi memorized the lines to help. tsubaki says that it sounds like something aoi would do, and asks if aoi was acting as juliet.
haruna says that tsubaki is correct, but she believes that aoi should've been acting as romeo, with how charming and prince-like she is, she believes that role would suit her more.
tsubaki's face, as soon as she hears this, turns serious. she hesitates before answering with "i see".
right after, haruna says that she has been copying aoi's mannerisms whenever she plays as romeo because to her she is the perfect image for romeo.
now, before this episode in the story, aoi and haruna met up in a cafe and aoi opened up a little bit about herself, she told haruna about the fact that she likes making jam, that she's afraid of bugs, and the reason she started djing. (im not adding more to this because it isnt connected, as much as i want to do it though.)
back to what was happening, haruna says that she pales in comparison to aoi, who is, "so confident, so cool, so..."
tsubaki, hearing this, says and i'll quote: "you haven't learned anything, haruna. you've only seen aoi on a superficial level."
haruna tells tsubaki that it wasnt her intention, but she then remembers aoi saying that "everyone seemed to like it" and it hits her that aoi was just going with what people told her.
tsubaki tells her that aoi isnt sensitive enough to be bothered by it, but there is more to what haruna sees. she says that aoi is deeper than that and that she would appreciate it if she haruna could see every part of her.
incomes the quote of tsubaki saying that she loves likes every facet of aoi and then aoi herself shows up. tsubaki gets flustered, tells her she made boxed lunches, and runs away.
after aoi chuckles about how she got them boxed lunches, haruna apologizes for seeing her just for her looks and actions, not what was under it. aoi tells her that she shouldn't be sorry and that she appreciates the compliments with a smile. haruna wonders in her head if what she was saying was true, if she truly meant every word she said.
now, since tsubaki and haruna's conversation is done, im gonna go to aoi's initial 3* card story "the girl with the long hair".
tsubaki and aoi were going to meet up in a cafe and tsubaki was late, after aoi says that she just got there too because she took a walk to pass the time tsubaki apologizes and says that she "made a reservation online but the beauty salon made her wait", aoi assures her that it's alright because she doesnt mind. she also notes that tsubaki has long hair, so it must be a bit harder to take care of.
tsubaki asks if that's the reason why aoi has hers short and aoi answers with "not really no. i just think it suits me."
tsubaki then asks if she ever wore her hair long and aoi answers that she used to in high school, tsubaki chuckles and aoi asks her what's funny about it so tsubaki answers that she has a hard time believing it.
aoi then tells her that she can show her a photo from before, and tsubaki agrees, i will add the fact that tsubaki sounds excited here compared to aoi who sounds nervous when she was about to show the picture.
tsubaki looks at it and notes that it isn't how she imagined and kind of freezes for a moment, aoi asks her if she was alright and that she was right there. tsubaki then says that that's what makes it so hard to believe and aoi says that was the reaction she usually got, she also says that the others photos of herself at those times werent as cute. after she says that, she tells tsubaki about how people saw her as a crossdressing boy and tsubaki's face relaxes to a serious one and she asks aoi if it ever bothered her. aoi replies that she just tries to stay positive and says that she tells herself that she looks better in short hair and that it was more manageable.
tsubaki tells aoi that she's envious of her, maybe talking about the fact that aoi can manage to stay positive about something for so long, then aoi then changes the subject -- and attention -- to tsubaki, telling her that she hopes tsubaki keeps her long hair (making it seem that aoi thought she was talking about hair) because it suits her and then while she's flustered, asks her what she thought of the lyrics.
there is a only a slight difference in the card story because u cant read their thoughts, but u can tell that tsubaki caught on the fact that aoi has difficulty seeing herself as cute because of how her classmates treated her in high school, while for haruna's case, when she saw aoi's photo properly knowing who it is, she doesnt catch it, she doesnt see it. all because aoi managed to hide it well. thanks to that, it goes to haruna thinking that aoi was being kind and considerate because she was acting like how she should be, but aoi tells her that she just does it to be considerate and that she cares for them. haruna then says a note to herself saying that "to play a romeo convincingly, one must sincerely care for others." and that she must be kind and considerate to juliet because that will make her role feel natural.
now then. when aoi was going to show haruna the photo, her face was blank, no emotion, just a polite smile. comparing that with tsubaki's, she was nervous looking and nervous sounding: hesitant. this probably connects to the fact that she had her poker face on when she isnt with rondo.
aoi changing the subject by telling both of them that she doesnt mind or compliments them is something people do in real life, (take it from me, who does this all the time) she knows how to avoid and take away the attention from herself or the subject of the conversation. that's why in most event stories, unless theyre focused on rondo or aoi herself, she almost doesnt talk at all.
oh yeah, tsubaki saying that her boxed lunches are tastier than they seem is connected to the whole thing of the event, which is trying not to judge the book by its cover.
i honestly have no idea how to end this so just. like. take this. my mind is fried and i cant word my thoughts on it anymore.
#crow talks#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#aoi miyake#tsubaki aoyagi#haruna kasuga#i had to fact check haruna's reaction (another time) bc i didnt want people to get mad at me#i have more thoughts but it just. doesnt mean anything.#it's just a bunch of jumbled thoughts that are probably dumb#so just take this and think abt my thoughts on it? ig?#idk#my mind is just a mess rn.#just take my overly complicated (maybe confusing) analysis on this thing and go along ur merry way#i do not want to talk abt my proper thoughts on this event bc. like. i know that people in the future will see it and might hate me#based on that and it scares me#(if u read and pay attention to my wording tho u might be able to guess my thoughts on this!!)#so anyway yeah. my prince. i'd rate it a like. 6/10 bc i got to learn more abt aoi.
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i dont have an actual name for it but depressed college au is probably one of my favorites. i dont really care for the adults in paranatural and thinking about how the activity club/others might grow up and continue their lives is so much more interesting to me
#i started reading this comic when i was 15? i think? and now im recently 23. i cant really say i relate or want to relate to 12 year olds an#y more. and yeah i prefer a lot more nuance and complexity when crafting+ reading stories#but when your protags are 12. well. yeah pass#pnats adults are fine but the kids are the ones i have any actual emotional interest or compulsion towards#so when i write something that might be less 'yippee whimsical wacky adventures' and the options are spender and zarei. again theyre fine bu#t i dont really care enough about spender and zarei#but i still want to write about adults you know. BEING 12 was hard enough you could not PAY me to go back into that headspace#honestly thats actually why most of wizard au takes place in their later school years#like you know those aged up mob psycho 100 aus. where mob is like a fireman and ritsu is an english major and theyre not exactly having epic#adventures anymore but theyre coming into themselves etc. god. thats the stuff 2 me#i used to hate aged up aus as a teenager bc i thought it was the author/artists excuse to put kids in weird situations. and idk considering#it was 2015. yeah fair. but i do think i get it now. teenage years are hard and theres a certain part of that hardness that i love. things#like growing up [from a 17yo perspective] and people you love going to college and trying to find yourself and dealing w friends and fear#for the future. THOSE are the kind of teen stories i like reading about. but when you start getting tired and mellowing out and things that#come with the end of college and grad school and growing up [from a 22yos perspective] is similar. but its more somber. youre older now#when the protagonists become people. thats what i like#wizard au is fun as a huge intense magical adventure project but depressed college au is just like. where i can project.#drinking an entire pack of mikes hard lemonade by myself and lying on the floor talking to friends about how im scared and pushing myself#towards a career that i love but dont know i can achieve. friends leaving. getting an apartment for the first time. and the second and#the third. that feels better when i can sit down and go 'okay. someday isabel will do this too. i might not understand. my friends might not#understand. nobody could understand and i could be alone. but max woke up with a hangover today and i know what that feels like' etc#idk just feels better. taking your favorite characters with you while you go through things. by which i mean#'taking my favorite characters and making them go through things'#you want them to be safe and happy and having fun. i want them to feel fear. we both know what we want from fiction and treasure each#depressed college au
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i have the horror genre brainrot and have been playing dead by daylight nonstop lately, so here’s a bunch of fun concepts for a few ocs as survivors. for elide and maeve i like to imagine they were plucked from their fantasy worlds~ just because it brings to mind some funny imagery while putting them next to regular ass modern folk. (tagging @carminasolis bc of the recent ask you sent! here are half of the requested thoughts 😂)
ELIDE.
perk #1 — perpetual calculations. you always think multiple steps ahead, preparing for success and failure alike. for each successful great skill check you gain a token, storing a total of 3/4/5 per trial. when you fail a skill check you expend one of your tokens, granting you the chance to immediately attempt the skill check once more with a 15%/20%/25% better chance at success. only one token can be expended per failed skill check.
perk #2 — trick shot. you've scrounged for materials over the course of your last few trials, giving you enough to craft a single shot for the arbiter (the scattergun elide invented in andaria). once per trial you can activate the second ability button while standing still, pulling out the arbiter and taking aim. you can shoot at a range of up to 8/12/16 meters, stunning the killer for 4 seconds if you successfully hit them.
perk #3 — rapid repair. you know how to quickly fix damaged machinery. you can see the auras of incomplete generators within a 8/16/24meter range. you gain a 8%/10%/12% bonus to repair speed while repairing generators below 60% progress.
outfits — would probably be her outfits from this art line-up! syllerian would be the default, casual a rare and orothelli the very rare. another very rare could be one of her modern outfits. a deep green teddy bodysuit under a pair of tight-fitting black jeans and a red cardigan. half-up crown braid styled hair.
MAEVE.
perk #1 — damsel in distress. physical fights aren't your strong suit, but you have faith that your friends will always come to your aid. other survivors gain 10%/15%/20% speed while healing and rescuing you from a hook. when a survivor takes a protection hit for you while you're being chased, you both gain a 7% haste status effect for 4/5/6 seconds.
perk #2 — historical accounts. from the grim journals of maeve sommers, you recognize the details of your next trial’s setting. at the start of the trial, auras of generators, chests, hooks and totems are revealed to all survivors for 8/10/12 seconds within a 32 meter range.
perk #3 — the bard's muse. there's nothing wrong with a bit of idolization every once in a while. at the start of the trial, one other survivor is chosen at random to be your muse. the aura of your muse is revealed to you when you are within 8/16/24 meters of them. while your muse’s aura is revealed to you, they gain 8%/10%/12% action speed while repairing generators, unhooking survivors and healing.
default outfit — her outfit in the art here! prolly with pink and blue recolor options uwu
rare outfit — prolly a cute and more casual outfit, something she’d be found wearing at her estate. a dark purple long-sleeved top with ruffles around the edges and a floor-length black ruffled skirt to match, then a corset over the top which has flowers embroidered on it purely for the aesthetic bc who needs function. honestly could look good in a roughed up state.
very rare outfit — mayhaps just a modern maeve outfit bc why not. hair in half-up space buns. a lace heavy shirt worn underneath a flower patterned elbow length button-up, both tucked into a pair of light jeans. bi pride patch stitched onto one of the back pockets and wearing a bunch of jewelry plus pink heart-shaped glasses.
SPENCER.
perk #1 — seeker’s study. your deductive and perceptive skills can aid your allies. perks that allow you to reveal the aura of the killer last 3/4/6 seconds longer. whenever you reveal the killer’s aura, other survivors within range can also see their aura.
perk #2 — rogue’s evasion. outrunning dangers seems to be a family inherited trait. gain a token for each successful pallet stun and rushed vault while being chased, up to a maximum of 3/5/7 tokens. for each token you gain a 1% haste effect while being chased by the killer. being put into the dying state or being hooked removes all tokens.
perk #3 — cosmic resistance. you are less afraid of the eldritch and arcane after accepting the harsh truths of the universe. killer perks effects that affect you within their terror radius are reduced by 8%/12%/18%. you recover from status and passive effects 4%/7%/10% faster and reduce the remaining duration of exhaustion by 6/8/10 seconds when you escape a chase.
default outfit — a denim jacket worn over a stripe patterned t-shirt, accompanied by dark blue jean leggings and a messenger bag slung across her shoulder. variants change the pattern of her shirt and shade of her jacket/pants. loose hair.
rare skin — a knee-length brown, wool double-breasted trench coat worn over a green sweater and light blue pair of jeans. her hair is up in a messy bun.
very rare skin — mandy thompson morph (like the stranger things/resident evil specials). she wears a yellow tweed jacket over top a dark brown shirt with a belt around her middle, with a below-the-knee box-pleated red skirt and plain dark knee stockings underneath. her glasses and pearl necklace are pristine baybee.
map — velma’s diner in arkham city, though from way back when in the 1930s~ when eldritch cult activity was at its peak in the city and investigators needed a space to relax and grab some food. and then, y’know, make it extremely fucked up. kind of as if the old cult had succeeded in summoning a great one and the city got screwed as a result, the entity pulled that universe’s version of it. the main building is the diner which has broken windows, doors and walls opened as vaults. the inside has a load of retro decorations and electronics, and in some places amidst all the random clutter there can be seen notes and gear of investigators that were still working to fight the good fight. the long countertop and rearranged barricades made out of the tables/booths are your classic loops. the outside is the parking lot and a small bit of the forest behind the diner, a killer’s shack replacing what was probably a utility shack of some kind just a small bit off to the side of the diner, and a road that you can cross. the other side has a handful of storefronts with signs so dilapidated that you can’t make out what they once were, but who cares bc there’s probably some generator spawns there.
killer — leader of the cult of atlach-nacha, aka the cult spencer was working against in her home realm. a humanoid man that has started to morph from his time spent devoted to and communicating with eldritch beings, able to call upon their powers for his machinations. probably that classic of having one tentacle-eqsue growth on one arm that has overtaken half the chest, making him a bit lopsided in stature but incredibly strong with that arm. not too sure about his ability. could be a case of calling on the power of the eldritch “deity” he worships to summon a tangible circle of the cosmos in a certain radius, triggering a countdown that leads to the survivors being confronted with the absolute horrors of reality and becoming afflicted by manifestations of that deity which could slow/injure them. ways to rid themselves of the effects could perhaps be reading one of mandy’s journals that are scattered throughout the map because her sensible, clinical ass notes can clear the mind lmao. i DO know that it’d be dope to have a perk about conflicting loyalties, where he can displease his eldritch deity by instead working with the entity to alter smth in the trial. i don’t know what but it sounds cool from a character perspective.
i don’t know exactly Why it would have happened, but i know the When of spencer and the cult leader being brought into the entity’s realm would have been right in the middle of spencer and her friends attempting to disrupt the cult’s big ritual. two of the biggest players on that board being yoinked would have been really sucky so who knows what happened after that (i mean, i do. in this fake scenario her friends would have 100% won because she has really skilled allies lol)
#ch: elide harker#ch: maeve sommers#ch: spencer thompson#misc: au ramblings#spencer's special and got actual map/killer concepts bc her character lends well to this game lmao#elide and maeve are just for the lulz#i might have more thoughts in the future just bc it's me?? but this is what i have atm and it was v fun#i discovered while working on this that a lot of custom perk makers all have the same thoughts. we share braincells#ok so elide's perks were inspired by her class features and feat#perpetual calculations is just a spin on her lucky feat (or how i always pictured her lucky feat working instead of pure luck)#maeve's were the easiest to come up with just base concepts bc they're so core to her character#yeah ofc the bard who wants to build up witchers and non-humans is gonna offer pure support perks#spencer's took a bit longer but i liked how they ended up! esp rogue's evasion bc it's very Her#favorite overall is probably bard's muse or perpetual calculations tbh bc i'd like to actually use them#anyhow i am in fact also writing scattered quarry au thoughts whenever i'm lying in bed so that's another thing#but dbd got a bitch in a stranglehold so#too lazy to add the character banners <3#smash that post button bc i'm tired of lookin @ all this
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WOOO 🎉 getting my life together hash tag BOSS !
#i SHOWERED and HAD DINNER and PLANNED for my FUTURE#nevermind all the things that r wrong and especially nevermind the living fucking beetle i found in my hair in the shower O-o#its. been a hot second since i showered 💗💗 he was just hanging out. when the episode depressives. ick that was gross#hes gone now im all clean no more bugs on me. i hope#but like woo!!! figured out my priorities for the next few months; like making moneys more important for me rn than school#& bc of my uncommon class schedule i made for myself im gonna have GREAT working hours#& not too many acedemic classes. besides chem & my funky humanities cryptid class i only have 2 academic classes?#<- i leave those 2 classes out bc theyre both things i learn about for FUN already#unless i switch out of choir for spanish which is feeling kinda likely rn for . reasons. love u choir but its gonna be different#might try and find a choir outside my school. why the fuck not. maybe i'll join a barbershop group#bc the choir in my school is. deteriorating like i'll get WAY more from a spanish class than a choir class#& spanishs not hard for me so like . why not man#SORRY THIS IS A LOT OF THOUGHTS. BUT LIKE. idk im just organizing myself. i need an aim thats why i feel like im floating#i just need smth to work on. i dont have people to ground me rn but i can work on getting myself stability for the future#and who knows maybe starting up school (and getting HOME) again will be stabilizing even if its all going to be vastly different#priorities r changin. this is good i'll be happier this way probably#anyways. yeah sorry im jsut.. thinkin. bout life. yeah#tobin talks
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.
#i'm gonna jot my thoughts here#i use this blog as an archive more or less of things i like. i browse through older shit a lot. i'm thinking this as a memento or a marker#cause ive spent a lot of time and thought with this subject. so. i think its only fitting since im forcibly and suddenly removing it#that i put my thoughts here and now down#no ones gonna see this and care much anyway. this is for me. past and present and future.#ahem. anyway.#fuck dude. four years for this?#i liked this guy because of how genuine he seemed. he told us not to rely on a cc for anything and set good reasonable boundaries#hes open with mental health struggles im familiar with and can resonate with the rest#he realized his audience was lgbt and decided to not only embrace that but also donate to charities for it#bro supports fuckin furries#and now im wondering if all of that was just to make him look good. if he really believed what he was saying#bc apparently all he cares about is his image? like damn#i dont think he was dishonest with all of it- in particular the mental health and like political standings. but.#the fact im even calling it into question is bad#he (throughout several years) and others (now) have proven just how manipulative and power hungry he is#this guy needs fucking therapy AT LEAST. which he says hes getting and has been at for a while now. with seemingly no progress thus far#but i believe in the improvement of individuals. people can change. they just have to want it. it doesn't seem like he does.#i hope therapy ends up good for him and/or he comes to his fucking senses. i cant move forward with him and i hate to lose this#if he shows Good and i mean Good improvement i might come back. idk. i might still be in denial or whatever#ill keep listening to some of his stuff too until it disgusts me eventually. ive deleted a lot of his shit from my playlists already#if sorry ends up posting ill watch the rest of that as well. cant imagine theyll make anything more after this season though#ill listen to the album once its out too i think. i cant let go of his art just yet#he can't stream can't imagine youtube so anything else is kaput#so outside of that. idk. only time will tell.#sigh. this sucks.
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#gonna rant here a bit abt nothing much but just because I have no one to talk about it with#i kinda like this guy and honestly. its not that big of a deal. but i do think he might like someone else and i have no idea who and its#making me a bit insane. Like. im not too bothered by it bc i think of it more as a whim than anything else. and im not going to cry if he#doesn't like me back. Like. im 18 dude I have no business in worrying too deeply aboyt those sorts of things yk? but i do miss the feeling#of someone liking me back. I do feel like I haven't gotten that in a while and it does make me a bit sad. Yk the whole 'what is so-#inherently unlikeable about me' sorta thing. Should I keep waiting or should I do something or what. like. what do I do. Im trying to stay#focused on uni and my professional future but I cant help thinking about all these other things#I feel like its the being a young adult of it all. that if I wasnt maybe I wouldnt be thinking about it too hard. I already have so much on#my plate as it is. I cant focus on everything and I feel like I cant focus on anything anyway#I thought I was a bad person for thinking about making a move when I had JUST found out that he had broken up w his gf just a couple of#weeks prior to me finding out. but apparently for him it was a long time coming. And now he's completely moved on and likes someone else#and its driving me mad not knowing who it is. Because I also cant fathom the possibility of it being me. I really cant. And its gonna sound#so stupid and superficial but god. he has so many pretty girls in his life and Im just here. Im just me. How could it be me.#when it never is#like I said. its dumb. and im overthinking it but I cant help it. I dont even think I want an actual relationship or anything. but I do#want to be selfish about it. I want it to be me#And I feel terrible because I know this isn't about him. its about wanting someone to like me. and he doesn't deserve that.#I dont know what to do
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cringe corner express
#also in another life i wonder if i might have been a musician#i have the vocals and the gay panache and the love for performance but i just cannot write songs for shit#but still like#idk#one thing about living alone is i play a lot of music from my speaker and i enjoy singing like different bits and pieces on top of the song#and adding my own melodies and stuff in random places just for fun but like#idk i wonder where i would be now if i had explored that more#i’ve had a little notebook since i was 16 that has little bits and lines and choruses and stuff and i haven’t touched it in years#bc i went the route of academic grind -> corporate#and i’m not dissatisfied with my life!!!!#i just know that the choice wasn’t my own and if i didn’t grow up in a hyperreligious household then who would i be?#what choices would i have had the freedom to make differently?#anyways lots of thoughts that will get deleted very soon#good night all!!!!!!#update: oh god i made a whole post about music and completely forgot the intense trauma i was exposed to in middle school#when i played the viola for 2 years in middle school and hardly practiced at all but made it to first chair because#rhythm and pitch and harmonies are just something i understand intuitively (yes i’ll brag all i want this is My blog)#and then my mom made me quit bc she wanted me to take home economics classes LMAO#and outright told me that taking The Future Wife classes were more important than my passions#I WAS TWELVE#oh to break a child’s spirit so young ….
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too sweet
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: a night out makes hotch realize a few too many things.
a/n: me??? writing for criminal minds again out of nowhere??? what is going on. and i do not have an answer i was just in a hotch mood bc he's fine asf and i finally have the confidence to write for him here we are lol. hope u enjoy this short lil thing
wc: 2.4k
warning(s): alcohol consumption, a sexual joke or two, written in one go so might be a mess! aaron is all in his head but this is basically all fluff
Hotch can’t focus.
Mostly because he can’t stop glancing over at you. Normally it’s not a problem—he’d lost count of how many times he’d distracted himself from mounds of paperwork by meeting your eyes through his office window, often accompanied by a smile that made even his heart beat a little faster—and especially now, it shouldn’t be a problem.
You and Derek have had some kind of bet going on during the past few nights out—you didn’t believe he was as charming and suave as he claimed, and Morgan was all too happy to prove you wrong.
You bet that he couldn’t get at least five numbers every night, and come last Thursday, Morgan took the win at the end of the evening with a smile on his face. As punishment, the first round of their next night out was on you.
And that’s nice, sure. Hotch is always thankful that his team can still joke around and have fun with each other despite everything they have to deal with each day. He hopes they keep the light in their eyes as long as possible, especially the younger ones. He’s fine with being the stick in the mud, the one who never smiles, the iron willed chief that scares local uniforms.
Hotch is not so fine with the way he feels right now.
It’s a busy night at the bar, which is understandable. Hotch is sure half the precinct is out alongside them, celebrating the BAU finally solving the case that had torn them to shreds over the past week. You, Reid, and Garcia put the threads together an hour into scouring through evidence, and the unsub was cuffed before noon.
Certainly something to celebrate—there’s a reason the whole team agreed to go out tonight and leave tomorrow. Even Rossi decided to join when he learned you would be buying, but he’s already abandoned them in favor of catching up with some old friends. Hotch even thinks they might have another round in their future because of their solve, courtesy of the local chief. They had a long night ahead of them.
But you haven’t gotten the drinks yet, and Hotch wonders how long it’ll take even after you do. Because some officer is trying to talk you up, and you’re smiling and laughing along and giving him every bit of your attention.
Hotch recognized him the moment he set eyes upon him, even in plain clothes. He’s some joke of an officer from the station, and he’s been trying to get your number—or even just get your attention—throughout their whole visit. Always sidling up to you during debriefs, specifically giving you any information or evidence he finds—Hotch has overheard him asking for your number more than once.
Hotch has been so focused on the case he’s not even sure if you’ve rejected him or not, and the mere thought is enough to annoy him. If he wasn’t equally as sure of your ability to defend yourself and afraid of overstepping with you, he would have stepped in.
But it makes sense. The officer is young and handsome, you’re young and pretty—not to mention you have a way of lighting up any room you step into. Hotch spent the whole first month of your employment wondering why you would want to do a job like this. He’s spent the rest of it thankful that you did.
You’re sharp as a whip, naturally, but you’ve also done wonders for the team atmosphere. It’s hard to feel down with a smile like yours beaming his way. The job weighs you down like it does everyone, but you still manage to lift everyone’s spirits on the jet ride back before they jump into the next case. It’s impressive.
It’s also trouble. You’ve been part of the BAU for almost two years now, and Hotch has spent just as much time tearing his eyes away from you as he has working. It’s wrong, and it’s wholly inappropriate in terms of your working relationship—he’s your boss, for god’s sake.
But sometimes, Hotch will be beating himself up over one thing or another on a case, and you’ll plant yourself in his vicinity and refuse to leave until you’ve helped him work through it. If you ever tire of the FBI, he thinks you have a second calling as an elementary school teacher.
Sometimes the hotel they’re staying at will have truly shitty coffee, worse than they’re used to at the BAU, and you’ll already be in the lobby with a tray full of the team’s orders. Hotch never recalls telling you his order—you just figured it out, and you remembered it.
Sometimes his gaze will drift your way, and he’ll find you already staring at him. You look away just as quickly as he does, and it makes him wonder.
Hotch has made a living off of studying the behavior of others. More often than not, he finds himself profiling his co-workers just out of instinct. His job is to know what others are thinking.
But god. When it comes to you, Hotch doesn’t think he’s ever felt more unsure in his life. Especially when you look at him the same way he wants to for weeks, then act nothing but proper another day; when you fall asleep against his shoulder on the jet one night and entertain some desk jockey another night.
It makes him feel like a highschooler again, trying to figure out if Haley really liked him or if she was just playing around, and it’s more embarrassing than it should be. Especially when he’s still dealing with the lingering emotions from the divorce.
“Hotch.” JJ’s voice is enough to break him out of his trance, and he blinks as he turns to her. At least someone paid him the mercy to dispel his thoughts, even if only for a temporary time.
“What?”
“Did you hear a single word I said?” she asks, a slight smile curving on her lips.
“Of course,” he responds. “The chief’s over there talking with the commissioner. He’s the same guy who made your life difficult the last time we were in Milwaukee.”
JJ’s eyebrows shoot up, and she nods. “I didn’t think you were listening.”
“I think he just got lucky,” Morgan cuts in, his gaze darting over to you momentarily. “I think you were too focused on our drinks.”
Reid frowns. “I don’t think he was focused on the drinks. He’s—”
“Just making sure they’re still coming,” Hotch interrupts, and he straightens his tie. Today really has been a long one—usually, he’s better at covering these things up. “And I wasn’t lucky. I was listening.”
“Trust me,” Morgan says with a laugh, “I’m watchin’ her until I’ve got a glass in my hand. She’s not getting out of this after the way she bragged this whole month.”
“The stupidest thing to make a bet on,” Prentiss remarks, “especially with you.”
“She said she just wanted to prove you wrong,” Reid contributes. “She thinks you’re too cocky.”
Morgan grins. “It’s not cocky if you can back it up.”
Hotch’s attention goes back to you, and you’ve finally gotten their drinks. You’re loading them onto a tray like you’re the bartender yourself, and his brows crease. Maybe he should have gone up with you.
“Do you think she needs help?” he asks. How obvious is too obvious? Why does it feel like his brain only works at half power whenever it comes to you?
“She’ll be fine,” Prentiss says. “And if she needs it, that guy talking her up can help.”
“Jason Rodriguez,” Reid remarks. “He hung around her the whole time we were trying to pinpoint a location, and he wasn’t any help, which makes sense because he's practically desk-bound at the precinct. I’m surprised she got any work done.”
JJ chuckles. “I’m surprised he hasn’t given up yet. He’s been following her around all week, like some lost puppy.”
Morgan shrugs. “I dunno. She seems pretty into him.”
“I don’t think ex-frat boys are her type,” Prentiss says wryly. Hotch doesn’t think so either, but he doesn’t say anything. Contributing to this kind of conversation is certainly too obvious.
“I doubt we’ll be back here for a while. She might as well.” Morgan smiled. “She probably needs a win after such an embarrassing loss.”
Thankfully, before Hotch has to keep pretending not to care about this topic, you walk over carrying a tray of cocktails—and you’re alone. The subject of their previous conversation seems lost in the crowd, and he feels a dangerous amount of relief.
“Are you all talking about me?” you drawl.
“You know we are, sweetheart. Thought you were never gonna get here.” Morgan sits up, smiling at you. “What’d my win get us?”
“Long Island Iced Teas,” you muse as you set the tray down. “Enjoy it, because I’m gonna be working some overtime to make up for all these.”
Morgan grins as he takes his drink. “You should’ve never doubted my skills.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t need any help,” Prentiss says. “You’ve done this before, huh?”
“Bartended my way through college.” You slide into the booth next to Hotch, just a bit too close for a bit too long, and he hopes that no one can see his chest still for a moment. It’s impressive that he still hasn’t figured out how to lessen the effect you have on him. “I’ve probably got better hands than you, Morgan.”
“Do we need to make another bet?” he asks. “Because I’d love to clean out your wallet.”
“Maybe wait another month before you prey on any more poor, defenseless agents,” you croon, and Morgan laughs.
He pivots the conversation away from you when you pick up your drink and take a sip, and you look at Hotch. Whenever your gaze is on him, you make him feel like he’s the only person in the room. He’s sure you never look at anyone else that way, but Hotch wonders how much of that is his mind trying to justify his imagination.
“I’m surprised you agreed with this,” you say, mercifully interrupting his thoughts. “I thought you’d want us to go back tonight.”
“You all earned a night out after the work you did,” Hotch says. He thinks about taking a drink, but he decides against it, at least for now. He can barely trust his sober mind.
“You’ve earned it too,” you say. “We wouldn’t be anywhere without you, Hotch. You keep us all together.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think I ever would’ve connected the dots like you and Reid can with Garcia. I hate unsubs with secret codes.”
“I’ve always liked puzzles,” you muse. “There’s nothin’ like it when it all finally clicks.”
Hotch hums, and for a moment, he’s silent. Your gaze remains fully on him, and that might be why he has trouble thinking. It’s too easy to get lost in your eyes.
“What did that guy say?” Hotch finally manages to ask, because he honestly can’t help it. Morgan’s points actually worried him a bit, and he wonders what that says about him. Ex-frat boy certainly isn’t your type, but someone forgettable for a one night stand isn’t the most absurd thing in the world.
Your brows knit together as you drink some more. “What guy?”
“The officer you were talking with,” he says. “He seemed to like you.”
He’d been flirting with you since the moment you stepped into the precinct, actually, desperate for your attention, but Hotch didn’t really want to say that. He’s sure you noticed either way, if the rest of the team did.
“Oh. Him.” You shrug. “He’s nice, I guess. Definitely a looker. But he’s got nothing beneath that hair.”
“Morgan’s surprised you didn’t bring him back,” Hotch says. He wonders if he’s pushing too much, and again, he feels like a highschooler testing the waters. Do you know what you do to him? What you reduce him to?
You shrug as you take a sip. “If he knows what’s good for him, he knows he doesn’t have a chance. My attention’s on someone else.”
Prentiss calls your name and you get drawn back into the middle of the team’s conversation, and thankfully, Hotch has a chance to digest your words—and the stunner of a smile you flash at him before you get pulled into their talk.
His decision to not drink seems even wiser, now. Hotch has to loosen his tie, and he ignores Reid watching him. It’s futile trying to hide anything from Spencer Reid—the kid already knows everything.
Again, it's dangerous how much satisfaction he gets from it—from knowing you never really paid that officer a second thought. You didn’t smile at him the way you smile at Hotch. You don’t smile at anyone the way you smile at Hotch. He thought he was imagining it at first, or that he was just a bit too stuck up, but it was the honest truth. You paid him special attention, and he couldn’t blame the warmth in his chest from the thought on any alcohol.
He tunes back into the conversation just to hear Morgan demand you pay for his next drink.
“You’re lucky I’m feeling generous,” you say.
He puts a hand to his chest. “Generous? You’re just paying what you owe me.”
You laugh and shake your head. “Pick your poison, pretty boy.”
“How do you feel about tequila?”
You make a noise of disgust and shake your head. “As long as I don’t have to drink it.”
“You’re just paying, sweetheart.” Morgan’s eyes dart to Hotch, and he nods as he grins. “One for me and our fearless leader.”
Hotch shakes his head. “Someone has to get us back to the hotel.”
“That’s what cabs are for!” Prentiss exclaims. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Hotchner. You deserve to let a little loose.”
“It takes most people an hour to process a drink,” Reid contributes, “so you’ll be fine before we leave if you want to drive.”
“Come on, Hotch,” you say, and you nudge his shoulder. “You might as well—I’m paying.”
“...Fine,” he says, and the whole team cheers. Even Reid smiles.
“Y’know, you can smile tonight, Hotch,” you say with one of your own before you down the rest of your drink and stand up.
And one actually tugs at his lips. It feels a lot hotter in this bar with your eyes sparkling and you beaming right at him, and he fights the need to shed his jacket. Your grin somehow grows.
“That’s what I came out to see,” you remark as you pick your wallet back up from the table. “I expect another when I get back, Hotch. There’s a lot to celebrate tonight.”
Yeah, he thinks as he watches you go. There just might be.
#me ignoring all my wips for a hot man?? it's more likely than you think#also ive listened to too sweet on repeat for like 3 hours i dont want to take my whiskey neat anymore#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x reader#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner imagine#sadie writes
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Heyy ya!! Hwo you doing? I wanted to ask maybe you can write Coriolanus x reader when he gets to district after just finishing training for pacekeepers, or maybe where his tribute just arrived to the capitol and the reader maybe says the “what does my mentor do besides bring me roses?” Line? ❤️
A/n the turn around for this was so fast for me 😭 i got excited
hi!! i love these prompts and am so glad for the excuse to write something for him 😭,, also i didn't blatantly make the reader the district 12 tribute bc i didn't want to necessarily cute lucy gray out all together, but it's clear that she's from a poorer district and that being assigned to mentor her is an insult to the Snow name,, also reader pulls a katniss and volunteers for a younger family member bc the irony of that scratches an inch in my brain
Summary: After the very public slight of being assigned to mentor a female tribute from a lower district, all Snow can think about is the uphill battle that winning the Plinth prize will now be. Until, he realizes, that he's been given the first ever district volunteer who seems to have a quality that makes people care about her.
Warnings: my first time writing for a specific character, Coriolanus's internal thoughts are a little softer than they should be at some points but i love the accidental and deeply impractical crush trope so
---
Of Angels
The desperation masquerading as fierceness behind her eyes is undeniable. Coriolanus feels the way your panic, your shock as the weight of your own words dawn on you in his chest. He swallows, forcing down the feeling.
Take me--take me instead! The phrase is repeated again and again, shaky and pleading.
Something about the display, about the 12-year-old girl that desperately tries to cling to you as peace keepers push you forward, makes it hard to watch. Even worse, it makes it impossible to look away.
The first ever district volunteer. A suicide mission or a--a desperate call for attention? A decision made out of hysteria that you're already starting to regret?
He can't decide as the footage of you being ushered onto stage is played. Surely, Dr. Gaul and other Capitol officials won't find this acceptable. The concept of volunteering has always been reserved for the careers, the districts that produce well fed children that train for this. It's a way to allow them to pick their best, their strongest. It is not a way for someone to lay down their life for someone else.
"Are you saying you volunteer?"
You blink, eyes wild and bright as you openly survey the crowd. Coriolanus briefly thinks that you might attempt to take what he doubts is an actual out. You seem to be considering something before finally nodding once. The motion so stiff it makes you look smaller, like the girl whose name was originally called.
"Yes," you mumble. The softness of it is a personal accost. Your choice was made in panic, but that isn't who you are. You're not much of a performer or a fighter or even bold...you're not much of a chance at the Plinth Prize. "I-I volunteer."
----
In the end, he had come because of Tigris. She had insisted that there was a way to see his tribute as more than just another face from the districts, as more human than animal.
She loves that little girl enough to die in her place. If I was her, I'd want someone to tell me that my choice meant something. I'd want someone to show that they care about me.
The words had felt dismissible at first, but the more he thought about them, the more it made sense. Panem had seen the entire thing, had seen the way that his tribute continued to comfort the younger girl even after sentencing herself to death. There's a story worthy of a show in that.
If he can convince you to go on camera, to speak of the girl, of the choice...maybe he'd have a chance at his future. And if the public support manages to help you in some way or another, that'd only be an additional benefit. You love that girl enough to die for her, maybe that means you love her enough to fight tooth and nail to live for her as well.
The train that stops at each district pulls to a stop. The doors open, releasing the sound of tributes that are learning the consequences of attempting to cause issues for the peacekeepers.
A boy he vaguely recognizes steps out, and then a younger girl. Are you one of the tributes already risking their lives in an attempt to aggravate peacekeepers? Or maybe you're cowering at the back of the train, clinging onto the safety of a familiar space.
You prove to be neither. You emerge from the train, perfectly in tact and stable.
Coriolanus parts his lips, yet no words manage to come out. You're different in person, the white you're dressed in is objectively dirtier than it was when you were reaped and yet somehow, here in the dim, gray station it feels brighter. A stray beam of sunlight breaking through a cluster of clouds. A promise that the storm will end soon and that the angels have yet to abandon the earth.
Your dress is a simple thing, loose enough to be a hand-me-down or maybe even borrowed, the lace of the skirt falling farther down your knees than it should. That paired with the ribbon scraps tied to each side of your head make you look younger and cruelly innocent.
"Hello." The blandness of his own beginning forces a burning sort of regret to take over his chest. You attentively turn, expression kind and expecting. It only makes the embarrassment he doesn't fully understand scorch him from the inside out with more violence. He's once again struck with the desire to look away and finding himself incapable of doing so. "My name is Coriolanus Snow, and I'm your mentor."
You nod, features hardening. You've pieced it all together--his appearance, what he's saying, and where you are. He's revealed himself as part of the Capitol and now you can no longer watch him with kind, accepting eyes. The look you're giving him is almost enough to make him wish he could have presented this differently.
Coriolanus extends an arm, the carefully chosen pure white rose an olive branch. You blink, eyebrows drawing together before you slowly reach out and take the flower by its stem. Your fingertips brush against his own, the warmth of your skin is so shocking he has to remind himself not to flinch.
"A mentor?" You repeat the word like your only reason for doing so is to try out the foreign word on your tongue. "Does everyone get one or am I just lucky?" You look down at the rose you're now holding. "Or has the rumor that I'm a rebellion trick spread to the Capitol?"
The last question genuinely surprises him. It shouldn't, there had been some talk about why anyone from a poor district would ever choose to go into the games. The way you and the girl you saved reacted to each other could have been staged...but Coriolanus didn't think it was enough to warrant genuine rumors. Anyone that had looked at your eyes and seen the fear in them would have known that it was sacrifice. Is sacrifice. That girl means the world to you.
"No," he starts slowly, "No, everyone gets one and no one here has any preconceptions about you."
You raise your eyebrows, making it clear that you don't believe him. No preconceptions had been a strong way to phrase things, but the urge to assure you had taken over with no warning. You then look away, glancing around to take in your surroundings.
"Then why isn't there..." You trail off, your gaze landing firmly on him. "You're not supposed to be here."
He blinks. For the first time, it feels like you're truly looking at him. His own susceptibility to your wide eyes turns his stomach. You're the one that should feel like something up for display under his stare. "No, I'm not."
The admission forces the edge of your lips to pull upwards. "Alright," you hum, "So what does my mentor do for me besides bring me roses?"
"I do my best to take care of you."
For a second, all you do is stare. He's surprised you. The realization brings him more relief than it should. "The girl who you volunteered for..."
You tilt your head downwards, hiding your expression as your fingers carefully toy with the exterior of the soft petals. "My cousin," the explanation is low, cautious, "But we uh--we're more like sisters."
An in that he doesn't even have to work for. "I understand that." You look up, not bothering to hide your confusion. Maybe you weren't expecting something so human to come out. Maybe human works for you. "During the war, we took care of each other...and then after our parents passed, we were left in the care of our grandmother."
The silence that follows is tight, straining against the sympathies you're not willing to extend to someone like him. Your lips part, and Coriolanus is disgusted by the part of him that's curious about what's going to come next.
You're pushed back with no warning. His attention snaps towards the peacekeeper who is shoving against your shoulder with more force than necessary.
"Excuse--" No reaction, no response as another peacekeeper grabs your arm. "Excuse me, I'm her--" You're being dragged away in order to be packed into another vehicle of transportation with the rest of them.
Coriolanus stays near, doing his best to never lose sight of you in the chaos. A tribute breaks free from the hold of the peacekeepers and launches his body forward. An ill thought out escape attempt. The distraction is all Coriolanus needs. This is his chance to go after you, to cement a connection that will guarantee cooperation.
It's not the distraction that gets him to move or even thoughts of the Plinth prize, it's the final flash of angel white fabric as its forced back into darkness. He rushes forward before he can overthink, entering the vehicle just as the doors shut.
----
i think i might make a part 2!!
#the hunger games#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow#the hunger games x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes x reader#coriolanus x reader
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An idea!
Maybe an FWB situation with BestestFriend!BuckyxAvenger!Reader they do it mostly for Bucky after a long, gruesome, taxing mission. Bucky made it clear that no feelings must be involved. He also made it clear that he’s not into her as he is still very much inlove and hung up with his ex. Basically this FWB situation mostly benefits Bucky, even Nat thinks it’s not really a FWB, just Bucky using her. But she doesn’t mind. Bucky is a good fuck. Like damnnn good. And if she can’t have Bucky as a romantic partner, she’ll take what she can get. Besides, Bucky told her that he doesn’t want an avenger or an agent as a partner. Too much danger and chaos for his heart. He wants to love a civilian like his ex, in hopes of living a normal life after retiring.
So, she starts distancing herself when she sees Bucky slowly trying to get back with his ex. Less sex, more excuses. But for some reason? Bucky does not like it. He does not like how you were not there anymore, how you don’t need nor seek him for the “benefit,” he’s also not that happy with whatever he’s doing to win his ex back. She doesn’t necessarily reject him when he asks for sex, just avoids him all in all. Day by day though, she consumes his thoughts and mind. Did he do something wrong? Say something? Forget something? What did he do to deserve this treatment from her? Bottom line, he misses her. What’s weird is, she’s still there as his best friend when he needs either steve or her. Just less of that benefits part
Then it grows progressively worse (for Bucky) from there as he sees her bring one night stands, to consistent and stable dates in their home. He’s still happy tho Bc if the date goes wrong or the one night stand doesn’t satisfy her, she goes to Bucky for a satisfying sex.
However, what pushes Bucky over the edge was one night filled with passion. Both of them feels this sex is different. One thinks he’s doing and feeling this extreme emotion Bc he’s angry while the other thinks she’s just frustrated. But the truth is? It’s passion and connection between them. She feels so good that she can’t help but blurt out “oh god I wish my future boyfriend/husband could fuck and fill me up like you do”
That’s it for Bucky. Those words are enough to make him feral. Just the thought of another man giving her attention, affection, love, adoration, and faithfulness makes him sick to the core. So, He fucks her with all his might, all his feelings. He fucks her with all the possessiveness and the green monster inside him. He fucks her in hopes of filling her full and deep that no other man can reach and own her like he does. (Maybe even breed her so that no man would actually be with her, but him)
Bc how bold of her to think that he would let another man touch her. That he would let her wear someone else’s ring and last name? That he would let her carry another man’s babies? No. Absolutely not.
Obviously this confuses her, but she thinks of it as part of their play. Maybe heat of the moment? Whatever it is, it’s hot and made their sex better so she didn’t question Bucky as of the moment.
Come next morning, she wakes up buried in bucky’s arms tightly and securedly wrapped around her as if she would disappear any moment. She has things to do so she attempts to leave but this just wakes Bucky up. She was abt to say something but Bucky just kisses her passionately yes Bucky now admits what it is. Not letting her go and aiming for another hot steamy possessive sex. Her words from last night ringing in his ears as she tries to leave.
Idk what to do next, I just want them to be happy and together in the end (maybe fast forward to their wedding? To them having twins?) 😭 then maybe the last line was like “well my love, you’re lucky your husband could fuck and fill you just like I did when we were fuck buddies”
18+
This is so perfect, i love this and that ending line is sending me, its so angsty and steamy and fuck it's so cute. Literally had to pull out a google doc to paste the request so I could look at my draft and the points side by side cause of all the details, I’m so sorry if I missed anything
-
“Strictly sex?”
“Strictly sex”
Bucky’s lips smashed onto yours as soon as the words left your mouth, the both of you clawing off your tactical gear, throwing it off haphazardly. You didn’t even make it to the bedroom; Bucky had taken you right in the middle of the safe house floor, no prep, sliding into you and fucking you till the sun was up.
Moments earlier
The mission was long. Stressful. Violent. Bloody. You weren’t even sure if you’d make it but you’d both made it out alive. You’d noticed Bucky on edge the entire time, his jaw clenched, fingers twitching while you tried to patch up a few scratches on yourself.
“You okay Buck?”
“M’fine” He mumbled, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back, resting on the wall of the jet letting out a strained groan.
“You don’t seem fine” You gave him a pointed look, clearly not believing him. “What do you normally do to relax” You cocked an eyebrow while Bucky stared at you, his eyes turning a shade darker.
“Fuck” His eyes bore into you, challenging you to ask more questions, his patience wearing thin. “I fuck”
“I can help with that”
*****
“So what’s with you and y/n?”
“Nothin’“
“You’re saying there's nothing?”
“I- I’m not over Lauren yet” Bucky shrugged, his mind constantly clinging onto his ex. She was the first girl he had dated in years and the first girl he felt anything for in a long time. The break up was mutual; his job took up long hours and the longer he was away, the more they grew apart. The split was made sense but he couldn’t let go of the lingering feeling in the back of his mind about how things would have been if he had just tried harder. Bucky set down the mug he was drinking from, leaving the kitchen while you entered. He gave you a nod, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away. What if he had just tried harder...
Nat shrugged, not pushing the matter further but she never believed either of you when you both insisted there was nothing more between you. She knew damn well Bucky was using you to fuck his feelings away but it didn’t seem to bother you. You were more than satisfied with some super solder dick because it was good. Damn good. Still, she was a trained assassin and not stupid. Nat could see the way your eyes would linger on him for a second longer and the way you’d lighten up as soon as he stepped into the room.
“So you and Barnes are just friends, huh?”
“Obviously” You looked at her with wide eyes, hoping to ignore her question while you made yourself some tea but she continued to stare at your instead. “It’s nothing more than that. We hook up sometimes but it’s just casual”
“And you’re completely okay with things staying just the way they are?” She cocked an eyebrow, her eyes narrowed accusatorily as if she could see right through you. “You’re fine with always just being a quick fuck?”
“It’s what we both need, honestly, I’m fine with the way things are” You nodded, thinking back to a conversation the both of you had both had after a mission.
“If I ever settle down, it’d have to be with someone outside of all this”
“Outside of what?”
“This” Bucky waved his hand around, pointing to the arsenal of weapons you were putting away after yet another grueling mission. “All this avenger shit, saving the world. I just want to go home to something peaceful. normal. Leave all this behind and just exist with someone I love. I’d never date someone from the team or someone associated with this, it’s too much”
You felt a strange tightness in your chest at his words but you shrugged the feeling off, understanding where Bucky was coming from.
“So who do you think you’ll end up with Barnes”
Why were you asking him this as if you’d like the answer.
“Maybe someone like Lauren” He mumbled, “Just someone who isn’t a part of this. Normal”
You felt the tightness creep back up but you shoved it back down. After all he’d been through, he deserved a little bit of normal.
You took your tea and made your way to your room, sipping while you thought about Nat’s question. Were you okay with the way things were? He was a good friend to you and no doubt the only person who could have you screaming till your lungs were sore.
Still.
He was never yours.
He never saw you that way.
You were just a good fuck.
He always loved his ex.
It didn’t help that you’d recently noticed he’d been out more often. He didn’t say anything to you directly but you could tell he was trying to get back with his ex. Cut his hair. Cleaned up. Quietly going out and not breathing a word about where he was off to. You weren’t 100% sure what he was doing but it was enough for you to decided you had to pull back.
A few weeks later
Bucky frowned, hearing yet another excuse from you as you made your way to your room, softly closing your door and hearing the muffled noise of your TV switch on, not going to bed like you insisted. It had been weeks since he’d spoken to you properly. He couldn’t even remember the last time you had the benefits part of your “friendship” You were usually always slinking around him like a cat, your touch, your voice, your scent, some form of you always surrounding him.
Recently?
Nothing.
He didn’t like it.
Not one damn bit.
He hated that you didn’t wrap your arms around him randomly, whispering in his ear about how badly you needed him. Or the way you’d bite your lip looking over to him in the middle of the field, a silent promise of sucking his soul out as soon as the mission was over. Or how your back would arch off the bed, your thighs suffocating him, tugging the hair from his roots when he nursed from your clit as if your arousal quenched his thirst. Or the way he’d let his cum seep down your thighs, fucking it back into you with his fingers, getting you to lick them clean afterwards-
Bucky groaned to himself, shifting uncomfortably at the hard on he’d given himself thinking about you. It’s not even like he could go to you to get you to take care of it. The few time’s he’d tried to initiate something, you were tired. Had cramps. Not feeling well. Injured. Always something, leaving him high and dry, avoiding him all together. He decided to make his way down to the gym, punching his feelings away yet again, though this time they were over you.
A few more days had done by and Bucky was worse than before. Sure he was talking to his ex again, but he was more concerned over the growing distance between you both. You’d both agreed the benefits would stay just the same unless either of you got into a committed relationship and while he had reconnected with Lauren, they weren’t official....
Why did you avoid him so much?
Was it because of Lauren?
Why did he even try to reconnect with her...
How come you didn’t let him get close to you anymore?
He started to wrack and pick at his brain wondering where it all went down hill. Did he say something to you? He didn’t forget your birthday, he’d gotten you everything you’d ever mentioned, even the littlest things you figured he hadn’t paid attention to. So what did he do to deserve this? He’s pent up like never before and it’s not just sexually. It dawns on him that he needs more than just sex, he also needs your friendship, your softness, your laugh.
He missed you.
All of you.
Of course you were there for him when he needed you, patching him up after missions, keeping his favorite snacks always stocked up, listening to him vent about Sam. It wasn’t the same though. As soon as you did your job taking care of him, you were out of his hair and off to do something else that had nothing to do with him.
*****
Bucky thought it was bad before but now he was seeing red. He was silently seething, seeing yet another handsome stranger drop you off, kissing you and giving your ass a playful squeeze before letting you make your way inside. The worst was when your stupid dates would actually make it inside the compound and all the way up to your room, Bucky had never been more thankful for sound proof walls. He watched you carefully, your smile dropping as soon as your date drove off, kicking your heels off and making your way to the kitchen to pour yourself a drink.
Though Bucky despised seeing you after dates (unable to understand why he felt so strongly about them in the first place) there was one benefit to your rendezvous. One he wouldn’t openly admit to enjoying. A twisted part of him was happy when you didn’t enjoy yourself because while you would keep your distance from him on a regular basis, there were a few select times you’d relent and give into your needs. Like right now.
“Bad date?” He cocked his head while you downed the dark liquid in one go, slinking over to his side, the warmth of your skin radiating off you. You nodded, letting your arms drape around his shoulders, standing between his legs.
“Wanna help me forget?”
It happened often and left Bucky more tormented than before. He hated that you only came to him when you needed to forget your shitty date but what could he say when you were supposed to be just friends with benefits anyway. You have a hold on him he can’t even explain. A hold no one else had ever had on him before. Not even his ex.
His ex.
Bucky isn’t even sure why he had tried to reconnect with her. He realized there was nothing between the day he met her again after months. He remembered the relationship differently; rose coloured glasses making him forget that there wasn’t ever a strong connection between them. Now he was struggling to figure out why all of his thoughts were consumed with you. If that was the only way he’d get to have you then he’d take what he could get.
*****
Bucky smiled to himself when he heard the a soft knock at his door, opening it to find your semi disheveled state, your hair a mess, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt.
“Need something doll?” Bucky smirked while you rolled your eyes, pushing past him, walking right into his room. You were there for one thing and one thing only. He knew it and you knew it.
“You know what I need Barnes” You huffed, unsatisfied from your date who rubbed you like a scratch lottery ticket, asking if you had finished 30 seconds after. “He couldn’t find my clit” You shook your head, tossing your tshirt off, leaving you bare moving laying on his bed “Not that most guys can”
Bucky felt all of his blood rush down south, it didn’t matter how many times he’d seen you naked, how many times he’d had you spread out for him, he’d forever be taken with how perfect you looked wearing absolutely nothing. He palmed his boner as he made his way over to you, stripping all his clothes off before giving his cock a few tugs.
“Pretty sure I can” Bucky murmured, crawling onto the bed and spreading your legs in front of his face. “And if I remember correctly...” He nipped your inner thigh making, smiling to himself at the soft gasp that slipped form your lips, pressing a sloppy wet kiss right onto your clit “It’s right there, isn’t it baby”
You let out a whimper, nodding while he hummed, a cocky smirk curling on his lips. He pressing his hard cock against the mattress for some relief, the feel of your soft silkiness making him leak. “I know exactly where my pretty doll’s clit is, don’t worry your pretty head baby”
“He didn’t know how to touch you, huh” Bucky cocked an eyebrow when you silent shook your head, his thumb coming to rub soft circles around your clit, “You like it slow and gentle at first, hm? Barely touching you, teasing you a little before getting faster?” Bucky watched you carefully, your chest rising up and down faster as he started to apply more pressure, his blue eyes locked with yours. “Then you like it faster, just like this” He removed his thumb, twitching to his two fingers', coating them in your arousal before using his fingers tips to rub you making you moan louder, “That’s right, sing for me baby, sing for me while I play with your pretty little clit”
“I remember you loved when I did this...” He gently sealed his lips around your sensitive nub, suckling with the lightest pressure, his hands holding your thighs apart, loving the way you moaned just for him. He pulled off so he could use his tongue, lapping and twirling around your clit, groaning at the sweetness that coated his tongue.
“Need-need more” You moaned, getting louder as he pushed two fingers into you, curling them and speeding up his pace, grinding against the bed, his balls growing heavy. “Need your cock Bucky! Please fuck me” You grabbed at his shoulders, too desperate for just his fingers, needing to feel all of him.
“Okay, okay baby, m’here” Bucky cooed, as he came up, kissing your neck, jealousy creeping through his veins smelling the remnants of your dates cologne still lingering on your skin.
Another man. Who touched you. Felt your body.
Unacceptable.
“Need you” You moaned again, feeling his cock nudge against your soaked entrance, your thighs wrapping around his waist. Your eyes were practically pleading with him, rolling back when you felt him start to press into you, moaning into your neck.
“You have me” Bucky groaned as he shoved his cock into you, not giving you a second to adjust, his arms wrapped tightly around you, and pounding you right into the mattress. You cried out from pleasure, the air nearly knocked out of your lungs from his cock hitting your sweet spot, his cock starting to drip inside you. You could feel him all over, his body weight heavy on top of yours, the scent of his body wash, the scent of him, the heat off his body, the way he tasted when he smashed his lips against yours.
You’d hooked up plenty of times before but none of them were like this.
Bucky’s face was tucked into the crook of your neck, sucking dark bruises, gently licking and kissing them right after. His arms were holding you tight against him, rolling his hips so that he’d still be pressed against every inch of your body the entire time. It felt like he was trying to fuck the deepest depths of your soul, unrelenting, the bed post steadily thudding against the bedroom wall.
Bucky felt it too. Something more. He didn’t know what, maybe you were frustrated, pent up from being unsatisfied but he’d never had you like this before. Your legs squeezed his sides, your nails scratching down his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. You were begging him for more, nearly crying, tears clouding your vision as he braced himself up slightly on his knees, fucking you even deeper. He savored your sweetness on his tongue, the smell of your shampoo, how silky and soft your body was. His cock was throbbing, threatening to blow sooner than he’d like, your pussy sucking him back in every time he fucked you.
Your hands went to card through his hair, your nails grazing through his scalp, drawing the sluttiest moan from Bucky, his eyes rolling back, fucking you even harder. You could feel your arousal squirt out of you at how desperate and delicious he sounded, squirming under him, feeling the wiry hair at the base of his cock rub against your clit.
No one else had ever satisfied you the way he did, touching you in a way that made your body light on fire. He felt so good, fucked so good, tasted so good, made you feel things everywhere. Your heart was screaming, wanting to making the night last forever, but forever wasn’t something either of you agreed on. He wasn’t yours. If only. If only you could always have this. You needed this. Exactly this. You tried to bite your tongue, your voice needy and broken, unable to stop the words from tumbling out as your mind swirled.
“Fuck Bucky I wish my future husband would fuck me this good, oh god-
You cried out as he growled, grabbing you and bringing your knees up, angling his hips till his thrusts made your belly bulge. He felt feral hearing your words, knowing you needed more of what he was giving you, what only he could give you. No one else would ever make you feel this good.
“Yeah? That what you want? Another man to fuck like me?” Bucky felt another surge of jealously course through his veins at the thought of another man having you the way he did. Another man touching you. Making love to you. Fucking you. Filling your tight cunt with their cum, breeding you till your belly was round and swollen. He snarled against your neck thinking about you carrying someone elses name. Someone else making you feel good, making you moan, putting their cock in you, it was supposed to be just him. Only him.
Huh.
Why was he so possessive.
He tried to shake off the thought but the image seared into his brain.
He couldn’t stand the image of you in your wedding dress, saying I do to a man that was someone else, your soft lips kissing theirs, sealing the both of you together forever, taking you away from him.
Fuck that.
Bucky fucked you like his life depended on it, the green monster of envy and jealous possessing his very soul, pouring all his feelings into the way he fucked you. He marked your neck, your shoulders, your breasts'.
“Need-need this Bucky” You cried out, feeling pressure and tightness growing through your body, your orgasm desperate to spill over. He grunted, his balls growing heavy, his own climax at the tip of his cock.
How could you think of letting someone else have you this way.
To have you so vulnerable, hearing how beautiful you sounded when you were lost in pleasure.
How could you think of wearing another mans right? Taking his last name?
How the fuck could you think of carrying another mans child, giving birth to his babies, having a family with someone that wasn’t him.
How could you.
Bucky’s mind felt muddled, he felt sick at the thought of you belonging to someone else, not when you had him. Not when he could give you what you wanted. He couldn’t push away the thought of how you’d look if you were carrying his babies. The way your tummy would be so round. How tired you’d look, a little super soldier baby growing inside you.
The way you’d be pouty, your breasts leaking, your swollen belly perfect evidence that you belonged to him. No one would look at you twice, knowing who your baby daddy is. Who would dare look at the pretty thing the winter solider knocked up, thinking twice before they even looked your way.
Fuck, you’d look so perfect, pregnant with his baby. He’d take such good care of you, massaging your sore feet, rubbing your belly, doting on you every second of the day. He’d spend hours worshipping your pussy with his mouth, knowing you wouldn’t even be able to see him over the swell of your tummy but your satisfied moans would be more than enough for him. He’d carry you everywhere, treat you like a queen, make love to you, drink your sweet milk when you felt heavy and sore, you be all of his-
“F-FUCK I’M CUMMING” Bucky bit hard onto your shoulder, moaning loudly as he started to cum, thoughts of your leaking nipples and firm belly making his whole body jolt, his cock sensitive, spurts of his seed endlessly pouring into you. “Y/n, look at me” He panted, still rutting his cock into you while your eyes rolled back into a silent scream, cumming around his throbbing length.
“Look at me” He grasped your cheeks, making you look at him, sweat beading at his forehead, his skin flushed “I’m gonna get you pregnant” You gasped, moaning against his mouth as he continued to sloppily grind into you, his cock still some how hard. “You’re all mine, understand?”
You nodded, but it wasn’t enough, his grip on your cheeks tightened, desperate to hear your voice.
“Say it” He pleaded with you, panting and grunting, overstimulated but too deep in wanting to fill you again to care.
“I-I’m yours James!” You could feel pleasure creep up you again, working yourself up to a second high just off his words alone.
“Keep saying it, keeping saying it, m’gonna cum again, don’t fuckin stop, keep telling me” He almost sounded like he was going to cry, his balls throbbing, still full and heavy.
“I’m yours, I’m yours, get-get me pregnant daddy”
“FUCK YES” That did it, his second orgasm spilling into you, his cock finally starting to soften. You panted, your mind reeling over the what had just happened, too fucked out to formulate words. He had taken you apart, cumming in you twice, his seed still deep inside you as he stayed inside you, slowly drifting off to sleep. As much as you wanted to ask him about what had just happened, you figured it was just the heat of the moment. You melted into his hold, letting sleep take over instead, what just happened wasn’t a big deal anyway....
*****
You blinked awake, heat engulfing you, Bucky’s arms wrapped around your body keeping you tightly and securely right against him. You squirmed, only to feel him hug you closer, whining, as if you’d disappear if he let go. You tried to gently wiggle free, not wanting to deal with the fact that you’d stayed the night, but your attempts to leave only woke him up. You blinked at his soft blue eyes gazing down at you, his strong arms still clinging onto you like no tomorrow.
“Bu-
You were cut off by his lip smashing onto yours in a breathe stealing kiss, your eyes growing wide before melting and kissing him back. You both reluctantly broke away for oxygen, your face heating up as he tucked your hair behind your ear, still holding you close.
“Stay”
“But-”
He rolled over, pinning you down onto the bed, his hard cock pressing against your thigh. “Stay, please” All Bucky could think about was your words from last night, the thought of anyone else other than him having you making him sick. He needed it again. Needed more. Wanting the same passion from the night before, his heart yearning and aching for it. “Y/, doll please”
You shook your head, a sudden surge of anger fueling you when you remembered he wasn’t even yours and his heart was elsewhere.
“James, let me go-
“No” He stayed in place, bringing his hands to lace with yours, pinning you further, “Doll, I know I have no right but-but I need you”
“You had me last night, that’s all you need anyway” You scoffed, while he shook his head, regret clouding his eyes.
“No baby, it’s not enough. It was never enough. It’s always been you”
“James, you were just trying to get back with your ex-
“It was a mistake. I learnt that the same day I met her. There wasn’t anything between us, truthfully there never was. I guess I remembered things differently from how they actually were. A stupid memory that never even existed. She never made me feel the same way you did. Not even close”
You stayed silent, while Bucky continued to nervously ramble, his feelings coming out scrambled, fear making it difficult for him to focus. He couldn’t lose you. He adored you. Needed you. Couldn't stand the thought of someone else other than him being by your side.
“It’s all you baby, always all you” He whispered, giving you his best puppy eyes, his heart hammering against his chest. You spread your legs slightly, letting his cock rest against your core, your nose bumping against his.
“Show me you mean it” You whispered against his lips, gasping as he filled you, moving slowly so you could feel every bit of him. Him. The only person you truly every wanted. The person you imagined your future with. The person you wanted it all with.
“M’gonna show you for the rest of my life doll”
A few years later
You yawned, handing off your little one to Bucky, giving him a quick kiss before he was carried off to bed. Bucky rocked his son in his arms for a moment before setting him down in his bed, kissing him goodnight before switching the night light on. He made his way back to the bedroom, his heart swelling when his eyes settle on you, the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“How are my babies” Bucky smiled, laying in front of you and pulling your shirt up over your swollen belly, his two little angels fluttering inside.
“Kicking and causing a ruckus, just like you a Steve” You huffed, giggling when he laid his head on your tummy, kissing the area where he felt the little ones moving.
“Let mama sleep” He soothed, rubbing your skin, smiling when he felt the babies settle down. “Be good for mommy, she’s sleepy, carrying you both around all day, keeping you warm and cozy”
Bucky continued to coo and whisper to your belly, lulling you in and out of sleep, listening to his soothing voice. He had done the same thing when you first son Steve Grant Barnes Jr. was born, doting on you every second of the day. You had sworn you needed time to recuperate, exhausted from carrying his enhanced little one though both of you struggled to keep your hands to yourselves.
“You just had to get me pregnant with twins, didn’t you” You playfully narrowed your eyes at him, gently stroking his hair while he continued to cuddle with your tummy. Bucky grinned, taking your hand and kissing your palm, the ring on your finger glinting softly under the glow of the table lamp.
“Not my fault, you were the one who had your hands down my pants when we got back from that mission. I didn’t hear you complain when I made you cum three times in a row” He wiggled his eyebrows while your face heated up, biting your lip, remembering the way he had taken you apart in the jet, the safe house and then your home, the both of you insatiable as always, “Aren’t you lucky your husband fucks you like I did, Mrs. Barnes”
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x : AVOIDANCE :*+ﾟ
in which: falling for blade was not on your agenda, so naturally you decide to distance yourself. however, the last thing you'd predicted was blade being upset with the sudden space.
warnings: 2.3k wc, FLUFF, ooc!blade probably bc i'm still trying to figure it out, kafka meddles with the two of you, gn!stellaron hunter!reader who has a past lol, NOT PROOFREAD, idiots in love bc i love that trope, bad writing
a/n: thank you to the anon who gave me this idea :D much appreciated, i had a lot of fun with this one when my angstier fics were draining me af. i hope you enjoy, apologies if it's a little low quality, but it's my child <3
when you first joined the team of stellaron hunters, you didn’t expect to get much out of it, especially since the team looked so cold, calculating, mischievous, and unforgiving, greeting you with vicious smiles and muddy eyes. preemptively, you assumed the most you would receive is acquaintanceship.
however, time has proven you wrong, because on the contrary, you have found comfort, friendship, and stability in the form of this mismatched group.
you never expected to find love either.
but you did, and it might be the worst decision your heart has ever made.
“y/n, there you are. kafka and i are thinking about going out to lunch. want to join?” silver wolf’s voice interrupts your train of thought, disrupting your peace in your private spot amongst the gardens.
“oh, hi silver wolf,” you murmur, shutting your book after shoving in a bookmark. “who else is going?”
“kafka asked blade and he agreed.”
the genius hacker doesn’t notice the way you tense upon hearing a certain swordman’s name. instead, you play it cool by opening up your book again, scanning the pages in hopes of ignoring the racing of your heart.
“i think i’ll pass on this one. thank you though,” you mutter.
“really?” the silver-haired asks, popping her gum before shrugging. “whatever you say. i’m off!”
“bye!”
hearing her footsteps fade, you slump in your seat, your memories with blade hauntingly eminent in your mind. you don’t recall when you fell for him, or why exactly, all you have in your recollection is a series of moments that you look back fondly upon with a full heart, love slowly seeping in to you and causing your affections to grow to the size that they reside at now.
when you had realised, the love had already grown too big to deflate, and dejection struck moments after; a big bang of butterflies in your stomach that all disintegrated straight after.
how brutal- perhaps this was an indication that blade was rubbing off on you too much, and you need to cleanse yourself of his influence.
love, although fickle, was not something that you avidly rejected. despite having lived like a hunted deer, your experiences have been fleeting, building your delicate heart for a life of meeting, falling, then leaving when you least wanted to, needing to run before an arrow pierced you- and certainly not cupid’s one.
but with blade, everything is different. there is no arrow to run from, not in the life that elio has foreseen for you. for the first time in your life, you can stop running away and try fall into the arms of love with little remorse.
it's just ironic that you fall into the arms of a man who should not be touched.
“y/n’s not coming with us today,” silver wolf reports after meeting up with the other two stellaron hunters.
“oh?” kafka hums, “usually y/n’s always willing to hangout, why’s that?”
“busy or something, i don’t know, i didn’t care to ask.”
the slight scrunch of displeasure in blade’s expression passes by the keen eyes of both kafka and silver wolf. if either of them had noticed then perhaps it would have been a topic of interest, but for the time being, the pair move on (faster than the third member), your unusual absence dismissed in favour of where to get food.
as the days turn into nights and elio issues more missions and mumbles more futures, blade feels as though he sees you less and less.
it’s not intuition more than it is you purposefully ignoring and evading blade in your everyday, though.
“good morning,” kafka’s voice greets when she walks in to the cafeteria, where you were eating breakfast alone. setting down your phone, you regard her with a mouth full of bread. “gross. at least swallow first.”
“screw off,” you murmur. “how did you sleep?”
“fine fine, i woke up in the wrong position though and my neck is killing me, but what about you? seems like you’ve been up a while.”
“i’ve been up since asscrack of dawn.”
the purple-haired regards you with amusement. “why’s that?”
“body clock or whatever,” you lie, staring down at your glass of water.
“i see,” kafka hums half-heartedly, as if seeing right through you. “well, i’m going to get some coffee, i’ll be right back.”
“mk.”
you’re left on your own for only a few minutes, waiting patiently in silence for kafka to return. the morning is cool and pleasant, and the smell of rain is still heavy in the air as the morning dew lightens the atmosphere. the weather will surely get hotter as the day matures, but for now, you enjoy the gentle caress of sunlight on your back.
or rather- you were enjoying the gentle caress of the sun, but the methodicalness of it all is ruined when you spot a certain figure with dark, long hair beside kafka.
suddenly the last thing you know is peace and calm, and the abrupt, painful scraping of your chair against the floor symbolises that.
“going somewhere?” kafka asks.
picking up your scraps, you avoid blade’s gaze. “yeah! i- uh, realised that i have some documents to drop off for elio by twelve or whatever.”
“won't you stay to keep us company for breakfast,” the purple-haired tempts, “it feels like it’s been so long since we’ve spent some proper time together.”
“has it?” you laugh nervously and kafka easily picks up the pitchiness of your tone. “i’ll make it up soon, i promise, i’ve just been overflowed with things to do.”
“alright. you be off then. don’t work too hard.”
“i won’t. my head is remaining tight on my shoulders, don’t you worry!” you reassure before scrambling away, feeling like your legs could not be any slower as you retreat away from blade’s scrutinising gaze. when you round the corner, you sigh a breath of relief.
it’s laughable and simultaneously admirable how dedicated you are about dodging every interaction possible, but for the record, you think you’re doing quite well. not that space was doing many favours for your heart, but persistence is key.
whoever believed that distance makes the heart grow fonder just clearly didn’t try enough, because yours feels like it’s about to hammer out of your chest with how fast it is racing, and the sensation is equivalent to something like pain rather than fondness.
“i’m worried,” blade mutters, gaze lingering on where you’d just disappeared. “and why does y/n talk like i’m not right here?”
“aww, are you upset?” coos kafka, taking a seat. the swordsman mimics her.
“why wouldn’t i be? it feels like y/n has been ignoring me as of late.”
kafka hums thoughtfully, swirling her coffee cup around.
“do you know anything about that?”
“nup. nothing at all,” she answers, feigning ignorance to the many suspicions that are bubbling around in her mind. the last thing kafka is, is blind, your unusual behaviour has not bypassed her perceptive eye at all, but she believes she has uncovered the reasoning as to why; said reasoning being a certain swordsman.
the revelation is definitely interesting, and she might just be able to give the push you both need.
“y’know what, bladie? if it concerns you that much, i’d say you go check up on y/n later,” kafka suggests.
“why not you?”
“i’ll be busy, but i think some support in dire times is just what y/n needs.”
“okay. fine.”
when blade gathers the courage to check up on you, like kafka recommended, the time is nearing 5pm. the sun is beginning to cool, the animals are retreating into their nests, and the big, bad, intimidating stellaron hunter is roaming around the archives, where you’re situated to work, hoping to locate you.
it takes a few laps around to finally find your placement because you’re fast asleep, only identifiable to blade by the jacket you hung on the back of your chair.
the sight of you hunched over your desk over a multitude of forms and papers causes a wave of concern (however much he can feel) to wash over blade, and suddenly, he does something completely foreign to him: dote over someone.
gently lifting your jacket to cover your shoulders, he stills when you shift a little, your eyebrows furrowing in your sleep. deciding to leave you alone, all blade spares is one lasting look at your vulnerability before leaving.
he wonders what it is that could be making you so frustrated.
(if only he knew).
a few days later, kafka confronts you about the suspicions that’s been creeping to the forefront of her mind.
“did you do something to piss a certain bladie off?”
kafka’s saccharine voice is laced with mischief as she leans towards you, chin resting on the palm of her hand. she certainly does not miss the way you tense up at the mention of the swordsman’s name and her smirk widens when you shuffle away, subconsciously turning away, as if avoiding the subject.
“i can’t think of why i would have,” you murmur, crossing your arms. “why?”
“oh, nothing, he’s just been complaining and crying a lot recently.”
“he does that all the time.”
“so he does,” your fellow stellaron hunter hums. “except he’s mentioning your name a lot more nowadays.”
you freeze. “what?”
“hm? did i say something peculiar?”
inhaling a deep breath, you steady yourself. you know what kafka wants out of you and you’re not going to give it to her despite how innocent and pretty she spins the web to look. after all these years together, you hope to have learnt a thing or two about how to avoid her snare.
“what is blade saying about me?” you quiz.
she blinks at you. “why so curious if you haven’t done anything?”
“can i not ask about something that involves my name? besides, he’s my friend, i want to know what he’s saying,” you lean against the back of the couch, trying to calm the involuntary shake in your legs. you despise that the slightest mention of blade can cause a bottomless pit to form in your stomach and it’s not because of how intimidating or threatening he is.
no, it’s because you’ve fallen for him, hook, line, and centre.
and blade would have to die before you ever tell him.
“mostly just grumbles about wondering where you are,” kafka expands, waving her hands about to match her words. “he asked silver wolf and i if you’ve been talking to us and when we said ‘yes’, he looked pissed! when i asked why he was being a sourpuss, he just stormed off.”
“so temperamental, that man,” she sighs. then, she looks back at you with those half-lidded eyes that have always gotten her what she wants, and in this case, they’re answers. “so tell me, y/n, what did you do to our bladie to have him all riled up like this?”
“nothing. absolutely nothing.”
“are you sure?”
“positive.”
“positive?”
you avoid her curious gaze. “positive.”
“maybe i phrased the question wrong. has bladie done something to you instead?”
panic settles within you. “no,” you lie through your teeth. “he hasn’t.”
“so if i asked you why you left breakfast so abruptly that day, you wouldn’t say that it’s because of him?”
“i had work to do, kafka, you know how busy my job gets.”
“i know, i know,” she persists, “then why weren’t you in a hurry before blade arrived that morning?”
you don’t know how to refute that, letting silence speak volumes instead.
“and why did you skip out on lunch with silver wolf and i? was it because we also invited a certain someone?”
“okay! fine, you’ve got me. what do you want to know?” you explode, tossing your phone on the couch in frustration.
“so it is about blade?” questions your coworker.
“yeah. it is.”
“what about him? did he do something to hurt you? you know he’s accidentally mean sometimes-”
“it’s not that, he’s nothing but a sweetheart.”
“so what’s the problem?”
“that is the problem! he’s just… he’s him.”
“is that bad?”
“for my heart, yes.”
“oh my- so you like him?”
you exhale exasperatedly, “don’t act like you haven’t already figured that out, kafka.”
the cheshire smile she then flashes sends shivers down your spine. for whatever reason, an oppressive feeling grows in your gut, resembling something like a warning.
“you’re right, i knew,” she flaunts. then, her gaze cuts to look behind you. “but i don’t think blade did.”
your heart lurches out of your chest with enough force to pull you off the couch and you stumble around to see that, lo and behold, blade was indeed standing in the hallway. the expression he wears tells you enough; he heard you, he knows.
kafka somehow sneaks her way out of the room, leaving you alone to deal with the face of rejection. it’s daunting being in the same space as him after so long, you almost forgot about the intimidating pressure that blade naturally exudes and projects in every space he enters.
“hi,” you start, looking away.
he stalks over to you, footsteps soundless before stopping a feet in front of you. instead of saying something, the swordsman merely gazes down at you whilst you keep your eyes glued to the side.
“can you reject me already? the silence is kinda killing me,” you snap after a few seconds, crossing your arms protectively.
instead of obeying to your request, blade does something completely unexpected; he very gently lifts your chin with his hand, and red eyes bore right into yours. is it odd to feel seen in your demise? because blade is looking- no, surveying you with such immense focus and clarity that your heart stills, frozen in position because it wants him to see the most picturesque part of you.
(he sees it, but he wants to know more of you. the pretty, the ugly, the likeable, and the unwanted.)
“would you like to go on a date?” he asks.
© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
#this was awful </3#blade x reader#blade hsr x reader#ren x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x gn!reader#blade x gn!reader#blade fluff#blade x reader fluff
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