#also ive listened to too sweet on repeat for like 3 hours i dont want to take my whiskey neat anymore
Text
too sweet
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: a night out makes hotch realize a few too many things.
a/n: me??? writing for criminal minds again out of nowhere??? what is going on. and i do not have an answer i was just in a hotch mood bc he's fine asf and i finally have the confidence to write for him here we are lol. hope u enjoy this short lil thing
wc: 2.4k
warning(s): alcohol consumption, a sexual joke or two, written in one go so might be a mess! aaron is all in his head but this is basically all fluff
Hotch can’t focus.
Mostly because he can’t stop glancing over at you. Normally it’s not a problem—he’d lost count of how many times he’d distracted himself from mounds of paperwork by meeting your eyes through his office window, often accompanied by a smile that made even his heart beat a little faster—and especially now, it shouldn’t be a problem.
You and Derek have had some kind of bet going on during the past few nights out—you didn’t believe he was as charming and suave as he claimed, and Morgan was all too happy to prove you wrong.
You bet that he couldn’t get at least five numbers every night, and come last Thursday, Morgan took the win at the end of the evening with a smile on his face. As punishment, the first round of their next night out was on you.
And that’s nice, sure. Hotch is always thankful that his team can still joke around and have fun with each other despite everything they have to deal with each day. He hopes they keep the light in their eyes as long as possible, especially the younger ones. He’s fine with being the stick in the mud, the one who never smiles, the iron willed chief that scares local uniforms.
Hotch is not so fine with the way he feels right now.
It’s a busy night at the bar, which is understandable. Hotch is sure half the precinct is out alongside them, celebrating the BAU finally solving the case that had torn them to shreds over the past week. You, Reid, and Garcia put the threads together an hour into scouring through evidence, and the unsub was cuffed before noon.
Certainly something to celebrate—there’s a reason the whole team agreed to go out tonight and leave tomorrow. Even Rossi decided to join when he learned you would be buying, but he’s already abandoned them in favor of catching up with some old friends. Hotch even thinks they might have another round in their future because of their solve, courtesy of the local chief. They had a long night ahead of them.
But you haven’t gotten the drinks yet, and Hotch wonders how long it’ll take even after you do. Because some officer is trying to talk you up, and you’re smiling and laughing along and giving him every bit of your attention.
Hotch recognized him the moment he set eyes upon him, even in plain clothes. He’s some joke of an officer from the station, and he’s been trying to get your number—or even just get your attention—throughout their whole visit. Always sidling up to you during debriefs, specifically giving you any information or evidence he finds—Hotch has overheard him asking for your number more than once.
Hotch has been so focused on the case he’s not even sure if you’ve rejected him or not, and the mere thought is enough to annoy him. If he wasn’t equally as sure of your ability to defend yourself and afraid of overstepping with you, he would have stepped in.
But it makes sense. The officer is young and handsome, you’re young and pretty—not to mention you have a way of lighting up any room you step into. Hotch spent the whole first month of your employment wondering why you would want to do a job like this. He’s spent the rest of it thankful that you did.
You’re sharp as a whip, naturally, but you’ve also done wonders for the team atmosphere. It’s hard to feel down with a smile like yours beaming his way. The job weighs you down like it does everyone, but you still manage to lift everyone’s spirits on the jet ride back before they jump into the next case. It’s impressive.
It’s also trouble. You’ve been part of the BAU for almost two years now, and Hotch has spent just as much time tearing his eyes away from you as he has working. It’s wrong, and it’s wholly inappropriate in terms of your working relationship—he’s your boss, for god’s sake.
But sometimes, Hotch will be beating himself up over one thing or another on a case, and you’ll plant yourself in his vicinity and refuse to leave until you’ve helped him work through it. If you ever tire of the FBI, he thinks you have a second calling as an elementary school teacher.
Sometimes the hotel they’re staying at will have truly shitty coffee, worse than they’re used to at the BAU, and you’ll already be in the lobby with a tray full of the team’s orders. Hotch never recalls telling you his order—you just figured it out, and you remembered it.
Sometimes his gaze will drift your way, and he’ll find you already staring at him. You look away just as quickly as he does, and it makes him wonder.
Hotch has made a living off of studying the behavior of others. More often than not, he finds himself profiling his co-workers just out of instinct. His job is to know what others are thinking.
But god. When it comes to you, Hotch doesn’t think he’s ever felt more unsure in his life. Especially when you look at him the same way he wants to for weeks, then act nothing but proper another day; when you fall asleep against his shoulder on the jet one night and entertain some desk jockey another night.
It makes him feel like a highschooler again, trying to figure out if Haley really liked him or if she was just playing around, and it’s more embarrassing than it should be. Especially when he’s still dealing with the lingering emotions from the divorce.
“Hotch.” JJ’s voice is enough to break him out of his trance, and he blinks as he turns to her. At least someone paid him the mercy to dispel his thoughts, even if only for a temporary time.
“What?”
“Did you hear a single word I said?” she asks, a slight smile curving on her lips.
“Of course,” he responds. “The chief’s over there talking with the commissioner. He’s the same guy who made your life difficult the last time we were in Milwaukee.”
JJ’s eyebrows shoot up, and she nods. “I didn’t think you were listening.”
“I think he just got lucky,” Morgan cuts in, his gaze darting over to you momentarily. “I think you were too focused on our drinks.”
Reid frowns. “I don’t think he was focused on the drinks. He’s—”
“Just making sure they’re still coming,” Hotch interrupts, and he straightens his tie. Today really has been a long one—usually, he’s better at covering these things up. “And I wasn’t lucky. I was listening.”
“Trust me,” Morgan says with a laugh, “I’m watchin’ her until I’ve got a glass in my hand. She’s not getting out of this after the way she bragged this whole month.”
“The stupidest thing to make a bet on,” Prentiss remarks, “especially with you.”
“She said she just wanted to prove you wrong,” Reid contributes. “She thinks you’re too cocky.”
Morgan grins. “It’s not cocky if you can back it up.”
Hotch’s attention goes back to you, and you’ve finally gotten their drinks. You’re loading them onto a tray like you’re the bartender yourself, and his brows crease. Maybe he should have gone up with you.
“Do you think she needs help?” he asks. How obvious is too obvious? Why does it feel like his brain only works at half power whenever it comes to you?
“She’ll be fine,” Prentiss says. “And if she needs it, that guy talking her up can help.”
“Jason Rodriguez,” Reid remarks. “He hung around her the whole time we were trying to pinpoint a location, and he wasn’t any help, which makes sense because he's practically desk-bound at the precinct. I’m surprised she got any work done.”
JJ chuckles. “I’m surprised he hasn’t given up yet. He’s been following her around all week, like some lost puppy.”
Morgan shrugs. “I dunno. She seems pretty into him.”
“I don’t think ex-frat boys are her type,” Prentiss says wryly. Hotch doesn’t think so either, but he doesn’t say anything. Contributing to this kind of conversation is certainly too obvious.
“I doubt we’ll be back here for a while. She might as well.” Morgan smiled. “She probably needs a win after such an embarrassing loss.”
Thankfully, before Hotch has to keep pretending not to care about this topic, you walk over carrying a tray of cocktails—and you’re alone. The subject of their previous conversation seems lost in the crowd, and he feels a dangerous amount of relief.
“Are you all talking about me?” you drawl.
“You know we are, sweetheart. Thought you were never gonna get here.” Morgan sits up, smiling at you. “What’d my win get us?”
“Long Island Iced Teas,” you muse as you set the tray down. “Enjoy it, because I’m gonna be working some overtime to make up for all these.”
Morgan grins as he takes his drink. “You should’ve never doubted my skills.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t need any help,” Prentiss says. “You’ve done this before, huh?”
“Bartended my way through college.” You slide into the booth next to Hotch, just a bit too close for a bit too long, and he hopes that no one can see his chest still for a moment. It’s impressive that he still hasn’t figured out how to lessen the effect you have on him. “I’ve probably got better hands than you, Morgan.”
“Do we need to make another bet?” he asks. “Because I’d love to clean out your wallet.”
“Maybe wait another month before you prey on any more poor, defenseless agents,” you croon, and Morgan laughs.
He pivots the conversation away from you when you pick up your drink and take a sip, and you look at Hotch. Whenever your gaze is on him, you make him feel like he’s the only person in the room. He’s sure you never look at anyone else that way, but Hotch wonders how much of that is his mind trying to justify his imagination.
“I’m surprised you agreed with this,” you say, mercifully interrupting his thoughts. “I thought you’d want us to go back tonight.”
“You all earned a night out after the work you did,” Hotch says. He thinks about taking a drink, but he decides against it, at least for now. He can barely trust his sober mind.
“You’ve earned it too,” you say. “We wouldn’t be anywhere without you, Hotch. You keep us all together.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think I ever would’ve connected the dots like you and Reid can with Garcia. I hate unsubs with secret codes.”
“I’ve always liked puzzles,” you muse. “There’s nothin’ like it when it all finally clicks.”
Hotch hums, and for a moment, he’s silent. Your gaze remains fully on him, and that might be why he has trouble thinking. It’s too easy to get lost in your eyes.
“What did that guy say?” Hotch finally manages to ask, because he honestly can’t help it. Morgan’s points actually worried him a bit, and he wonders what that says about him. Ex-frat boy certainly isn’t your type, but someone forgettable for a one night stand isn’t the most absurd thing in the world.
Your brows knit together as you drink some more. “What guy?”
“The officer you were talking with,” he says. “He seemed to like you.”
He’d been flirting with you since the moment you stepped into the precinct, actually, desperate for your attention, but Hotch didn’t really want to say that. He’s sure you noticed either way, if the rest of the team did.
“Oh. Him.” You shrug. “He’s nice, I guess. Definitely a looker. But he’s got nothing beneath that hair.”
“Morgan’s surprised you didn’t bring him back,” Hotch says. He wonders if he’s pushing too much, and again, he feels like a highschooler testing the waters. Do you know what you do to him? What you reduce him to?
You shrug as you take a sip. “If he knows what’s good for him, he knows he doesn’t have a chance. My attention’s on someone else.”
Prentiss calls your name and you get drawn back into the middle of the team’s conversation, and thankfully, Hotch has a chance to digest your words—and the stunner of a smile you flash at him before you get pulled into their talk.
His decision to not drink seems even wiser, now. Hotch has to loosen his tie, and he ignores Reid watching him. It’s futile trying to hide anything from Spencer Reid—the kid already knows everything.
Again, it's dangerous how much satisfaction he gets from it—from knowing you never really paid that officer a second thought. You didn’t smile at him the way you smile at Hotch. You don’t smile at anyone the way you smile at Hotch. He thought he was imagining it at first, or that he was just a bit too stuck up, but it was the honest truth. You paid him special attention, and he couldn’t blame the warmth in his chest from the thought on any alcohol.
He tunes back into the conversation just to hear Morgan demand you pay for his next drink.
“You’re lucky I’m feeling generous,” you say.
He puts a hand to his chest. “Generous? You’re just paying what you owe me.”
You laugh and shake your head. “Pick your poison, pretty boy.”
“How do you feel about tequila?”
You make a noise of disgust and shake your head. “As long as I don’t have to drink it.”
“You’re just paying, sweetheart.” Morgan’s eyes dart to Hotch, and he nods as he grins. “One for me and our fearless leader.”
Hotch shakes his head. “Someone has to get us back to the hotel.”
“That’s what cabs are for!” Prentiss exclaims. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Hotchner. You deserve to let a little loose.”
“It takes most people an hour to process a drink,” Reid contributes, “so you’ll be fine before we leave if you want to drive.”
“Come on, Hotch,” you say, and you nudge his shoulder. “You might as well—I’m paying.”
“...Fine,” he says, and the whole team cheers. Even Reid smiles.
“Y’know, you can smile tonight, Hotch,” you say with one of your own before you down the rest of your drink and stand up.
And one actually tugs at his lips. It feels a lot hotter in this bar with your eyes sparkling and you beaming right at him, and he fights the need to shed his jacket. Your grin somehow grows.
“That’s what I came out to see,” you remark as you pick your wallet back up from the table. “I expect another when I get back, Hotch. There’s a lot to celebrate tonight.”
Yeah, he thinks as he watches you go. There just might be.
#me ignoring all my wips for a hot man?? it's more likely than you think#also ive listened to too sweet on repeat for like 3 hours i dont want to take my whiskey neat anymore#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch x reader#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner imagine#sadie writes
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For the ask meme? All of them.
jay,,,
give me a sec to edit this post ok
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine
i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book
7. earbuds or headphones?
ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me
8. movies or tv shows?
tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs
9. favorite smell in the summer?
pavement after rain and also. grass.
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!
12. name of your favorite playlist?
sorry i couldnt choose!
13. lanyard or key ring?
key ring!
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice
18. ideal weather?
when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice
19. sleeping position?
i just lie on my left side like a fool
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
notebook!
21. obsession from childhood?
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!
22. role model?
kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do
23. strange habits?
repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.
24. favorite crystal?
all of them!!!!!
25. first song you remember hearing?
my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
go for a walk!
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
slep
28. five songs to describe you?
we are the people by empire of the sun
home by cavetown
strawberry blonde by mitski
smile like you mean it by the killers
afterlife by arcade fire
29. best way to bond with you?
wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes
30. places that you find sacred?
i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?
*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match
32. top five favorite vines?
road work ahead
a avocado!! thanks!!!!!
REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK
i fell can you help me :(
that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles
33. most used phrase in your phone?
idk how to check that??? sowwy
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv
35. average time you fall asleep?
3am? 4am? idk for sure
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
t-trollface…
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff
38. lemonade or tea?
depends on my mood!
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals
41. last person you texted?
jay uwu
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
afabs cant have both huh
but i want both. please give me both.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies
44. favorite scent for soap?
aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
something really really long
47. favorite type of cheese?
there are different types????
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
i hope im a pear
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
become a good person. thats all.
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier
51. current stresses?
UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!
52. favorite font?
i like comic sans
53. what is the current state of your hands?
they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again
54. what did you learn from your first job?
i dont have one!
55. favorite fairy tale?
gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;
56. favorite tradition?
on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
im torn between sports anime and slice of life
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly
from haikyuu
obviously
62. seven characters you relate to?
tsukishima kei from haikyuu
mae borowski from nitw
apollo justice from ace attorney
flame princess from adventure time
donatello from tmnt
sokka from atla
kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100
63. five songs that would play in your club?
mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds
64. favorite website from your childhood?
if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf
65. any permanent scars?
yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox
66. favorite flower(s)?
idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips
67. good luck charms?
dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,
70. left or right handed?
im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie
71. least favorite pattern?
i like traditional ukrainian ornaments
72. worst subject?
history :P
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
ice cream + fries
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
if its green it can stay
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
i dont have a license, so.
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
fireflies!
82. pc or console?
i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!
83. writing or drawing?
please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad
84. podcasts or talk radio?
podcasts :O
84. barbie or polly pocket?
idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!
85. fairy tales or mythology?
i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both
86. cookies or cupcakes?
my heart goes to cookies
87. your greatest fear?
finding out im faking any part of my identity
88. your greatest wish?
get through whatever’s going on right now
89. who would you put before everyone else?
mom
90. luckiest mistake?
when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally
91. boxes or bags?
boxes!
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
fairy lights……
93. nicknames?
never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name
94. favorite season?
spring ;w;
95. favorite app on your phone?
sudoku
96. desktop background?
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
my own and my mom’s
98. favorite historical era?
eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap
#wl26#wl26 answers#flamingerrs#jay just so you know i love you a whole lot#i really did that huh#long post
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4, 13, 18, 29, 32, 40, 45, 52, 54, 63, 71, 77, 95 ~
(4) Last Song You Listened To.branded by natewantstobattle ~
(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?if its like. a long shower in the evening then yeah. i always have my phone across the bathroom playing something cause im trying to make shower times feel less like a chore and more like just a relaxation moment these days mmmm (its fun to be dysfunctional as fuck lol)
(18) Do You Collect Anything?i wouldnt say as much as collect as i just hoard stuff lol. i always think collecting more as ‘oh i have this thing and i wanna see what other things like this i can get together’ where as my hoarding is much more just like ‘oh i like this thing iM GONNA HAVE TWENTY OF THEM’. idk if someone else seems them as the same thing but yeah lol. but, to answer the question, i do hoard coffee mugs (that im now trying to get rid of tbh cause i have. too many lol), notebooks, i think video games count? and my most recent things are decorative tapes and fox postcards! ..tho also all these are items that eventually get used so it dont. know if that really counts as collecting or hoarding? i just have a lot of these buT ANYWAYS (this answer is getting long but i need to add now that maybe out of these the only one i’d count as collecting thing is the fox postcards? cause i dont wanna use them, i just buy them when i find them and its always just. fox cards. so.. thats a small collection i guess?)
(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.
(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? lightest blue, the most underrated color of the sky tbh
(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?i honestly dont think ive been obsessing over anything too much recently? ive been too tired to do any of that tbh lol. the only thing i feel like i could count is natewantstobattle cause that playlist has been on repeat for like the past week and yyyyeah. i might have a problem lol (i blame asagao!nate tbh, and my need to fuel the inspiration for him so mmmm going straight to the source for that one lol)
(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.i just talked about this last night, but yeah, slumdog millionaire. probably one of the only pure drama movies im willing to watch and i cried like the freaking baby i am cause its so pure and sweet and oh my god i love it
(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?hell yeah dude. i have noise canceling big headphones for a reason LOL
(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?uuuuuUUUUH. which one of my playlists tho..tho i think everyone wants the embarrassing answer over the obvious one, so lemme pull up my playlist of all songs i have on spotify and we’ll see what embarrassing bullshit i can pull together for you yAYprove me wrong by saliva..okay well this could have gone a whole lot worse tbh lol
(63) Favourite Pokemon?mmmm gosh i do love a lot of them, but cause im a dirty gen1′er im. gonna have to name my boi bulbasaur and vaporeon
(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?planning on either seeing captain marvel or avengers: endgame! dont know which one yet, hoping its gonna be captain marvel if i can rope a friend to go with me when i get enough money together for it before we eventually go see endgame together (cause he saw infinity war with me, im gonna make him also experience me crying at endgame lol)
(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?mmmm i only play dumb things lol. tho i do have pokemon go, which i dont. play i just have it lol. but i also have 1010! color, slices, and words of wonders (so basically i only have like. simple brain games lol). sometimes i amuse myself when im super bored and download like awful clicker games or something to play for like an hour before deleting them again, but thats really rare these days tbh
(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?oooof a lot of things tbh. i want a tribal styled phoenix bird on my shoulder blade or back, a little ribbon going around one of my ankles with two ace playing cards with the text ‘luck is for losers’ written on the ribbon, a watercolor styled fox on my right upper arm, with its tail dipped in black ink, leading down to my right lower arm where theres a pretty cursive text of some poets of the fall lyrics that the same fox seemingly painted with its ink tail.. and then the last two i havent fully planned yet, but i want something cat related to my left arm, and right now my craving for natewantstobattle lyrics is. very high. not only cause his lyrics are genius as fuck, but also cause they are a huge source of inspiration to me and that needs to be immortalized on my shitty skin (so basically the reasoning is the same as with the poets lyrics tbh lol)
ask me things!
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Cleftmom confessions: Things ive learned that I wish I knew before. A list from a mom of special kids❤️ I actually dont know how to address this list, I think I've realized these because I have 2 kids with "special" needs. But it may also apply to moms in general, Im sure all of us will have one or two of these thoughts or circumstances in our crazzzy momma life☺️ 📌I am not INVINCIBLE I need God. I am nothing - this is not because Im bring myself down, but because I am humbling myself. Im surrendering. I am nothing in this world compared to His greatness. Given how well nourished, well educated, or how powerful, how big your house is, you are nothing without God. YOU NEED HIM. Crazy as it may sound but with all the fear I felt, the next thing I realized/felt was this. I was HUMBLED. I know He's caliing me. I was reminded of how great he is and who am I in this world. This is why 2 COR 12:9 is one of my fave verses: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me 📌Take one day at a time I know you have so much to give, but I also know theres only so much you can take. We have limits, we are mortals, remember? If you will look past your now, sometimes it gives you serenity. Skipping the harder days, the surgeries etc. The power of hope. But in your darker days, when its just hard to find aomething to make you move forward, remember you have now, and what you do today, now, is what matters. Enjoy it, days goes by faster than you think. With all the hustle and bustle of this generation, sometimes its hard to remember this. But until your child hits another milestone, you wont stop to enjoy life and savor that moment with your kid. You will realize that they're growing too fast and there's that pinch making you ask "why so fast?". And then there's this joy, the assurance that they are doing well coz they're hitting those milestones just in time, sometimes a lil early, sometimes a lil late, but what the heck, they DID and that's what matters. Savor the moment🙂 📌Cliché as it may sounds: things will get better This!!! This cliche was pressed on me numerous times already. This is proven. I want to say by me, but well... i'd be lying, and you know it coz you've been there, done that😂 When reassuring new cleft parents I always say this line, which maybe doesn't help much hehe (but I know they'll realize one day that it's true😎). It's just hard to look beyond the firsts, beyond the uncertainty specially if the mom has not yet delivered. I totally understand that (i've bern there, didn't believed this line as well😂😂😂). But the most recent encounter with this lesson was because of our Jacob. I still get hotheaded while on our review sessions (di po ako ipokrita 😂), but he makes me more proud because of that. Because as I always say, he tries, he tries his best! Before, during his exams week, review sessions would be after school till bedtime and it wasn't even enough parin --- That's with prior review sessions pa. Before he cant even read a story book, it would take us an hour or two to finish those short stories. Before during exams He wont have time to do his kumon booklets anymore. But he did improved. He did better in reading books, he's good in math, he gets perfect scores in exams. Recently was his summative exam, he was able to finish reviewing all his subject before exam week started. so it was just a quick review for him during exam week. I felt how positive he is, how confident he is now specially in math and reading. I felt how happy he was that he could still do other things after reviewing. Things got better for me, but more for Jacob.❤️ 📌Downing moments are vital You wont have glorious days without your gloomy days. They make your success more sweet. If you let them eat you whole, you'll lose. Don't let trials win, empower your will to get back on your feet. Some days are harder, but that's what make you tougher. 📌You have to be worry sometimes ...So you wont put your guard down. 📌You need Two words:CLEFT TEAM If it would be possible go to them. NCF / PBM. Period! Google will help you with what a legit cleft team consists of💪🏼 📌This prayer help me calm myself❤️ I want to share it with you because in times my heart is in trouble, And I would say this prayer I would instantly feel calm. So much betteeeer❤️ The serenity prayer God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next. Amen. 📌God's plans for you is bigger Learning about Gabbie's cleft hit me hard. I comfort myself knowing that God has His plans and He definitely know better. It's really hard to know what it is, its hard to foresee but He asked me to have faith, Even as small as the mustard seed. I know my faith is far bigger than a mustard seed, because you know what, never as in NEVER He has forsaken me! JER 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 📌Go with your instinct Mother knows best. Also, this means you are the one responsible for your parenting style. Don't let others pressure you into a parenting style that is not YOU. You be the kind of mother YOU want to be, not the society, your doctor, your priests, you family ask you to be. You are the only person who knows what's best for your child😉 listen to their opinion or advice, pick what suits you, junk what's not and move on. Don't let them and their side comments affect you inside. 😉 📌Google will bring you horror, dont let it. Use it to your advantage. I will be honest, researching made me anxious. By the time we discovered Gabbie's a cleftie we only have around 8weeks to prepare for her special needs. I havent joined any support group, i tried searching but didnt found one (till gabbie was 2months old ata) so I have no clue what's the best kind of surgeon to go to, what will she need etc. google would redirect me to cases from across the globe, Mostly US, many patients in the US had over 10 surgeries, so yes, that scared me. Ear tubes, yup they did scare me - alot!!! Repeated palatoplasty? Complications per age, complications during surgery.... hell yes!! Speech problems?! Heart problems and syndromes!????! Like whaaaaatttt!!! I want to give birth already just to find out if she has any of it!!! But the internet provided me a vital information for our cleft journey - name of our surgeon. Dr. Glenda De Villa ❤️ learned what bottles we need, what to look out for, that yessss, I could breastfeed!!!🙂 the internet also provided the criteria of a CLEFT TEAM/CLEFT CENTER, and Dr. De Villa's team is a SURE WIN!💪🏼 📌You have to love your doctor. Trusting your surgeon is vital. After meeting her, my worries just fluffed their way out of my chest. She's an inspiration. She's also the one who told us about NCF. If not for her and our trust to her, our family won't have the privilege of knowing those who are behind NCF and their patients ☺️ 📌You are not alone I repeat. YOU.ARE.NOT.ALONE I treat my co-cleft moms and dads as my family. No one could understand me than someone who's going Through a journey like us. Yes, our families and friends are backing us up, they're always there. Always. But the STRUGGLE IS REAL! Haha there are certain things no one could relate to unless they have a "special" child. Noordhoff Craniofacial Foundation patients have a support grp - https://www.facebook.com/groups/IbahagiAngNgiti/ And https://www.facebook.com/groups/CleftSupportGroupPH/ is open to all clefties and their families 🙂 📌Be thankful. You are blessed. I always say God gives the hardest battles to His bravest soldiers. Wonder where our cleftstrong babies got their strength and spirit? Its from US, their parents. I was also in doubt at first😁 God chose us for a purpose. Be proud of the privilege and responsibility that God entrusted us🙂 1 thess 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Stop self blaming. Dont be too hard on yourself. Stop asking yourself if you did something wrong during your pregnancy. Accept that you too have shortcomings, and that's ok. Your kids still love you just the same because you are morethan ENOUGH!❤️ *list to be updated, usually in the wee hours of the morning I cant sleep.😂
#cleft mom confession#cleftmomconfessions#cleftmomph#jadegabrielle#cleftstrongph#cleftmomma#cleftmomandproud#diaryofacleftmom#gabbiesjourney#adhdMomma
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All categories. Every question.
Bloody hell!! 😂 Who on earth wants to know so much about me?? This could either be great or terrible! Thanks!Quick facts:1. Age: 182. Gender: Non binary i guess3. Sexual orientation: bi/pansexual but its complicated4. Zodiac sign: libra5. Best friend: @only-slightly-dangerous6. Height: 5'11" last time I checked7. Favourite colour: black.8. Hobbies: sleeping, self loathing and memes. In that order.9. Shoe size: 710. Eye colour: brownHave I... (this is gonna be a short section)1. Had sex? Nope2. Kissed someone in the rain? Nope3. Had a job? Yup! 3. I now have none smh4. Smoked weed? Nope5. Done drugs? Nope6. Drank alcohol? Yuup7. Broken a bone? Yuup, a couple8. Self harmed? Yh :/9. Caught sneaking out? Lmao nope10. Been in love? Doubt it, but I've loved very strongly.This or that1. Good morning or good night texts? Good night texts are cute as hell but they make me kinda sad so I'll say good morning texts.2. Sweet or salty? Sweet3. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate4. Fancy dates or casual dates? Casual dates all the way!!5. Airplane or drive? Drive6. Mountains or beach? ...mountains are cold but beaches have sand sooo? Both and also neither.7. Baths or showers? Baths! I miss baths!!8. Blonds or brunetts? Brunetts. I don't have *that* much of a type, but I never seem to go for blonds.9. TV or music? I love them both? ...ill say music.10. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls. No question about it.Last...1. Person you kissed: idfk i havent kissed anyone, family or otherwise, in ages2. Text you sent: "you on your wayy??"3. Person you texted: my friend rowan4. Show you watched: doctor who5. Time you cried: a week ago ish?6. Song you listened to: always something by cage the elephant7. Shoes you wore: some black converse8. Thing you ate: chocolate 😄9. Thing you bought: does a bus ticket count?10. Time you took a selfie: this morning,, but we're talking unflattering via snapchatDo you...1. Tan easy? I dont go outside enough to know 😂2. Regret anything? There are a lot of things I wish never happened, but they kinda made me who I am sooo...I'd say most things I regret are things I've said and things I haven't.3. Want to get back with your last ex? I think its easier as friends, in the best way possible.4. Have trust issues? Hoo boiiiii yeah.5. Like chinese food? It's a fave!6. Believe in love at first sight? Nah, attraction at first sight though.7. Sleep with your door open or closed? Its open just a tiny tiny bit so I don't make noise if I leave my room but I still feel safe8. Type fast? I'd say so yeah9. Have pets? Yup!! 2 bunnies that I love sooo much and a crackers cocker spaniel called borris!!10. Smile at strangers? Yeah! I mean, im awkward af but if i catch their eye then sure, you never know who might need itSex and romance? (This sections gonna be even shorter)1. Relationship status: single as usual2. Are you a virgin? Yeah 3. Ever cheated? Been cheated on? I could never cheat, I've seen what it does to people and it makes me so so mad. And nah, thankfully.4. How many people have you slept with? See 2.5. Given oral sex? Recieved it? Nah6. Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex? ...would need experience to decide 7. Worst sex you've had: see 28. Best sex you've had: see 29. Ever had sex with more than one person at a time? See 210. Rate yourself as a lover on a scale of 1-10? 1.Someone you...1. Miss: ummm... no one majorly. I guess theres someone i like id love to see2. Love: my best friend3. Trust: i trust like 2 people in this world- see one and two.4. Live with: my mum5. Have kissed: my ex i guess6. Have slept with: no one7. Hate: besides trump, theres a couple of people that have fucked me over that still make my blood boil.8. Idolize: Kaitlyn Alexander 😶9. Need: idk, friends in general. 10. Have known for years: girl at my sixth form called ella; ive known her since before i could talk.Miscalleneous1. What did the last text you sent say? "AAAAAAAAA" ~ I got sent a cat video.2. Have you ever done a prank call? Probably when I was like 8 but nothing very successful!3. If you're drunk and can't stand, who's taking care of you? I wish I knew 😂 4. How long does it take you to get ready in a morning? An hour and a half, at least. That's excluding time for picking clothes and doing makeup etc.5. Behind the camera or infront of it? Behind6. Last book you read? The Five People You Meet in Heaven, but it was last summer!7. How can someone win your heart? Be so authentically yourself that I can be me too. And be honest.8. Did you lose your virginity before 18? Nah9. Do you like your handwriting? When I'm not rushing, sure10. Do you play any musical instruments? I'm grade 8 at the kazoo11. Where do you want to live when you're older? I kinda want to move to canada or denmark! So long as I'm living with some I love its all good!12. What's something you like about yourself?.......bloody hell....erm......I guess I like that I always try. I don't really know how I do it, but I'll always find that extra bit of energy if needed.13. Whats something that drives you crazy about yourself? Just like who I am as a person 😂😂😂 nah, erm, I hate it when I can't communicate what I'm thinking irl (im okay if I'm typing). Things tend to come out wonky and in the wrong tone or meaning the wrong thing and I just beat myself up over it for the rest of the week.14. Closest friend on tumblr? @only-slightly-dangerous what a surprise!15. Do you think you'll be in a relationship 2 months from now? I should be so lucky 😂16. Do you like when people play with your hair? Yaaaas17. Top 5 songs right now? Bloody hell, erm, right at this second? In no particular order: -Rats- Motionless in White-just basically the entire new miw album (as esp the eternally yours video 👀)-The Night We Met, piano version, on repeat.-No Rest For the Wicked by Cage the Elephant-Corpse Roads by Keaton Henson18. Spell your name with your chin: ywtkur. Wow.19. Trip to the bottom of the ocean or outer space? *banging fists on table* outer space!!!!! Yaaaaas!!
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