#i love that beej is not only IN the fight
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Aloe Vera
Cross-posted to my ao3: Cepheid_Variable
Beetlejuice x Reader: You get sunburned, and Beetlejuice wants to help. Massage + love confessions = smut because duh.
You swore you put sunscreen on. Other people had helped you put sunscreen on. You put sunscreen on. So why the ever-loving-HELL were you burned all over?! Your face, shoulders, and back all burned like a thousand tiny needles were poking into your back. Every single thing that touched you hurt. All you wanted was to get home and sleep. Cool silk sheets sounded absolutely amazing.
You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your overenthusiastic roommate, Beetlejuice, jumping on top of you and wrapping you in a bear hug. “I missed you SO much, babes you wouldn’t believe how much I missed you I was so BORED-” He ranted and yelled, but you only responded with a gasp and yelp. He pulled back immediately, knowing those sounds meant pain. “Babes? What’s wrong? Wait why is your face all red oh my god did you get slapped or some shit babes did you get in a fight cuz that’s super badass but I mean are you okay oh my-” You put your hand over his mouth. The concern was cute, but goddamn it was annoying sometimes.
“I got sunburned, Beej. Calm down. It just hurts if you put pressure anywhere on… this.” You turned around to show him your fiery back, and he grimaced.
“That looks… not fun.” He grumbled. You nodded. Sighing, you stretched your arms above your head.
“I need to head to bed, BJ. I’m exhausted from being out in the sun all day long. If you need me, I’ll be bathing in ice cubes and aloe for the rest of the day,” you groaned. Heading towards your room, you felt an icy cold hand on your shoulder. You hissed, and then melted into the feeling.
“Y’know I’m dead, right? I could cool ya off if y’know what I mean,” he said with a wink. You chuckled, and leaned into his hand. “What’s this aloe shit you were talking about?”
***
Holy. Fucking. Cheeseballs. Who knew that Beetlejuice, the loudest, clingiest, scariest pervert in the world could give massages? His cool hands and the aloe gel combined were so soothing and you felt like you were going to sink right into a deep sleep.
For context, Beetlejuice had grabbed the bottle of aloe gel as soon as you had spoken, snapped you into your bed (complete with silk sheets - pretty sure you didn’t own those before) facedown with shorts and a tank top. He was settled above you, knees on either side of your hips, gently smoothing the gel into your burn. Every time he pressed against a bundle of muscle, you had to hold back embarrassingly loud groans. After an hour of discomfort this was an absolute godsend. His rough but cool hands smoothed over the center of your back, making your eyelids flutter. You sank into the bed with every movement, falling into a sleepy trance. It was so quiet, only the sounds of you breathing and Beetlejuice concentrating. He pressed up against a particularly hard knot in your shoulder, and you hissed under your breath.
“Ah, sorry, angel. Lemme try and get this knot out,” Did he just call me angel? That’s adorable. He worked his thick fingers between the muscle, kneading it out gently. You felt the release throughout your whole neck, and you let out an unabashed moan.
“Oh, holy shit, Beej, that feels so good,” You whispered breathily. He paused in his ministrations, and then continued again. More small whimpers escaped you as the relief flooded through your veins. You heard Beej’s breath stutter behind you. “What’s up, BJ?” You asked, confused.
“Uh, nothin’ angel, I just - I mean I uh…” He trailed off. Okay, seriously, what’s wrong with him? You began to turn over as he spoke, causing him to shift above you. “Maybe you just need to stop makin’ those noises, babes. They’re, uh, not exactly PG, huh?” He chuckled weakly. Your face lit up like a firecracker, seeing his bright pink hair and hearing his words. You noticed that he was being all shifty, wiggling back and forth, and-
Oh.
A very prominent bulge pressed into your stomach where Beej sat. He realized that you realized that he had an… issue, and he blushed a bright green. He began stuttering and moving off of you, trying to hide his face.
“Uh, sorry babes, I’ll just, uh, go now, uh, I’m so sorry, I-” he stuttered out, hair turning yellow and purple. Your heart broke at the sight, and you reached out your hand and grabbed his wrist. He stopped in his tracks, looking at you with shocked eyes. What are you doing?!
“Beej, it’s okay. Promise. It was a totally natural reaction, and it was partly my fault,” You chuckled awkwardly, feeling your face heat up even more. What the hell were you supposed to say? “I’m flattered by your obvious boner because I am totally down to fuck”? “Actually it’d be great if that was caused by me because I like you an unhealthy amount for a dead roommate”? So. Screwed. You looked up to his face, seeing that his eyes were glued to your hand. “Honestly, Beej, it’s kinda, uhm, flattering.” His head whipped to yours as you turned your face into the pillow. What the shit are you doing?! He’s going to think you’re such a weirdo!
“Babes?” You shook your head. “Angel, c’mon, look at me.” You whined and shoved your face deeper into the pillow, muffling a pitiful ‘no’. “Angel,” He said, a little more forcefully, “Look at me.” You shook your head again. You felt a hand grabbing your chin, pulling it to look at him. You whined in protest, scrunching your eyes shut. You heard a growl from above you. All the sudden, lips were on your lips and your eyes flew open in surprise. Beetlejuice met your gaze, pulling away slowly.
“Babes, I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you meant what you just said. Because if you did, I’m gonna rock your world so hard you’re not gonna walk straight for a week,” His hair was almost a forest green, so he meant business. You blushed at his words. “Cuz I really like you, dollface. More than just your sweet ass or your nice rack,” Okay, really? I thought this was going to be sweet? “I like you. The you that worries about me when I’m out and I do the same for. The you that cooks for me even though I can’t eat and doesn’t get mad when I put bugs in your hair. I really, really like you, angel.” He finished and took a deep breath, sitting back on his haunches above you. He nodded as if to say ‘Done with that bullshit’. He looked down at you and cocked his head, raising an eyebrow. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Everything is about to change.
“I mean it, BJ. I really really like you a lot, too. And I would be flattered if you rocked my wo-” Not even letting you finish, he cut you off with a kiss. His hands roamed up your sides, gently caressing your shoulders. He kissed down your neck, leaving marks as he went. He bit down, causing you to gasp. Your hands snuck to his hips, where you grasped at the soft flesh. One hand wandered to his crotch and palmed against his boner. He groaned and rested his forehead against yours.
“You have no idea how long I’ve imagined this, babes.” He whispered breathlessly. You ran your unoccupied hand through his magenta hair, smiling at the effects you’d caused. “Like what you see, dollface? I sure do. Maybe, though…” His fingers pulled at the edge of your tank top. “I could see more?” You nodded. With a snap, both of you were completely naked, and his cock seeped onto your bare stomach and hand. You squealed and your face turned dark red. I thought he meant just my TOP!! Beej just laughed at your reaction. You scowled.
“Two can play at that game, mister,” You growled. Before he even had a chance to react, you squeezed and jerked his dick. Hard. A high-pitched strangled moan squeaked its way out of Beej’s throat, and he slammed his head into the mattress beside you. You heard a very jumbled ‘fuck’ beside you, followed by a loud whine. You giggled softly, continuing to stroke him. He growled at your amusement to his reaction, pulling back to look you in the eye.
“Dick.” He muttered.
“Mine.” You responded, squeezing him again. He squeezed his eyes shut, groaned, and pulled out of your grasp. You pouted, but he ignored you. Grabbing your calves, he lifted them over his shoulders and pressed his mouth to the inside of your knee. You whined, and he bit down in protest, sucking and leaving a dark mark. He kissed his way down your thigh, nibbling and biting as he went. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin right next to your entrance, making you gasp. He gently stroked his fingers through your slick. Pumping one and then two fingers into you, he rubbed your clit with his thumb. You jolted, and he responded by making a ‘come hither’ motion and you moaned. He brought his fingers to his mouth, holding your gaze the whole time. His hair was dark magenta as he licked and slurped the wetness he gathered. He smirked.
“Sweet lil’ pussy’s so wet for me, huh, doll? A dead guy really gets ya goin’ that much?” You huffed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Not so much of an angel now, huh?” You went to grab his hair to pull him down, but he caught your wrist. “Not so fast, babes,” He chuckled. With yet another snap, you were on your forearms and knees, fully displayed for Beetlejuice. You squeaked and tried to lift yourself up, but his hand met the back of your neck, pushing you back down. “Stay right there, babes. Damn, that’s a pretty image,” He spoke, stroking and squeezing your ass.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” You muttered bitterly. I mean, c’mon! I wanna see him too! You heard a camera shutter. “Hey!”
“What? I’m just doing what you told me to,” You could hear the fucking smirk. You wiggled your hips just slightly, and his cool hand left your neck to stroke up and down your heated back. “Like you’re blushin’ all over for me, babes.” With no warning, he shoved two thick fingers into your entrance, curling them to hit your g-spot perfectly. You arched your back and reached your arms above your head to grab the pillow, moaning and whining. “There she is. Perfect lil’ kitten. Ready for the big finale, babes?” He leaned up to whisper in your ear, biting and sucking the hollow of your neck. You nodded. He chuckled. “Use your words, babygirl.”
“Please, Beej,” You whined. He shook his head, pulling back as he curled his fingers again.
“Please what? I’m not a mind-reader, babes.” You growled at him, but it became strangled when he twisted his hand in just the right way.
“Please fuck me ‘til I can’t walk straight, please BJ I nee-” He wrapped one hand around the front of your neck, effectively cutting you off. He pulled you up slightly, just enough so that there’s pressure against your windpipe and your back is arched perfectly. He rutted against your entrance, sliding against your slit and brushing your clit with each pass. Your thighs jolted, and your hips leaned back onto him. Slowly, he pushed until he was fully inside you, and you both let out a sigh of relief. It felt so right. You turned your head in Beej’s grasp and met his lips in a searing kiss. You circled your hips against his and he growled. With one hand grasping your neck and one on your hip, he began to thrust slow and deep. You let your head fall back onto his shoulder and grabbed at his hair with your hands.
His thrusts became faster and faster and before long you were back facedown on the mattress, Beej’s erratic thrusts shoving you down. Both his hands bruised your hips and you let him use you.
“Fuck, kitten, I can’t last much longer,” He groaned. You shook your head (well, as much as you could while being pushed into the mattress).
“Me neither, Lawrence.” Full stop. It felt like time froze completely.
“What did you just call me?” He growled in your ear.
“Isn’t that your name? Lawrence?” He moaned, and you felt his dick twitch inside you.
“Again.”
“Lawrence,” you moaned. He thrusted once, as deep as he could go. “Fuck! Lawrence,” you yelled. He did it again, harder. “I can’t - fuck, wait -” He continued. You felt the knot in your stomach get tighter. You weren’t going to last much longer. “Shit, oh my - please, please -”
“Perfect lil’ kitten, ah shit - love you so much -” He growled into your ear. He leaned back, rolling his hips a few more times.
“Dammit! Fuck - love you - Beetlejuice!” You screamed as you finished. He pulled out at the last second, spilling his seed all over your back as he groaned. A camera shutter echoed throughout the room. You scowled over your shoulder at his cheeky grin. “Clean me up, asshole.” You grumbled, collapsing onto your stomach. He laughed and demon-magicked it off. He climbed up to lay beside you, pulling you to lay on his chest. You wrapped a leg over his in an effort to get even closer.
“Did you mean it?” You whispered, not quite meeting his eyes. He made a small ‘hm?’ in response. “Do you really love me?” He tensed. “Because I love you. And I’d hate if that wasn’t reciprocated,” You got quieter with every word. He lifted your chin to place a kiss on your forehead.
“Of course I meant it, angel. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’d be an idiot not to fall in love.” He whispered back. With a smile on both faces and a satiated sexual appetite (for now), the two of you took a nap. The details of your relationship could be discussed later.
For now, cuddles with the Ghost with the Most.
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I always wonder how Beetlejuice would react to someone who looks very sweet and soft but is actually really hardcore. Like death metal, rage room, loves extremely gorey and disturbing media, constantly wanting someone to pick a fight with them so they could pummel them kinda hardcore.
It would be funny if they scared Beetlejuice a bit more than beetlejuice would scare them haha
Here's some drabbles just to get this idea out of my head lol I'm no writer so aa yeah DJSBJZ idk if I captured his Beetlejuice-ness enough ee
No pronouns used but a little (and I mean very little) nsft bc it's beetlejuice lol
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"Hey babes! Ya miss-?" He'd ask as he suddenly appears in their room, loud gutteral screaming stopping him in his tracks for a split second before he basks in it. His breather is glued to the TV as he sways over to their side on the couch. Bloody cries and begs fill the silence between them.
Beetlejuice looks between the TV and his sweet breather, dressed in hello kitty pajamas with a stuffed animal under their arm. Kitten socks on their feet and a bunny hair band holding their hair from the puppy print face mask they have on. Such a stark contrast from the bloody murder playing on the TV. He chuckled to himself as he sat back and continued watching with them, laughing occasionally.
__________
"I'm going out, Beej. Please behave." You absentmindedly say as you grabbed your keys, heading for the door.
"Where'ya goin? Can I come?" Beetlejuice would say hopefully as he shot up from his place on the couch. You were wearing sweats with one leg covered in cutesy anime Chibis and some logo for the anime you were currently obsessed with and a tank top that read 'BE KIND' In bright letters with stars and smily faces surrounding it (If you have long hair it'll be tied up) you weren't dressed up fancy so he didn't have a clue where you'd be going. It was your day off and he couldn't recall any plans that didn't include suffocating you with his 'love'.
"I'm going to a rage room, helps me decompress." You said with a chuckle, wanting to see how he'd react since you knew he didn't think you had a violent bone in your body. You'd shoo out any bugs that got inside, choosing to let the spiders you'd see around your place be as they helped with other bugs, you weren't overly confrontational either and he'd only ever see you cry when you were really mad. He looked at you from across the room confused but intrigued.
"Rage room? Is that some breather code for orgy?" Beetlejuice sat up on his knees from his previous sitting position, looking dopey and cocky as per usual.
"If you wanted one babes all you had to do was-"
"No! That's not what that means!" You cut him off with a laugh, you always appreciated the demons enthusiasm and humor.
"Its a room where you break stuff! Hence 'rage' room." You explained as you put on your shoes. If he wasn't already interested in joining you, he sure as sugar was now. He'd never seen you take your anger out on anyone or anything for that matter. You tended to cry it out, take a moment and sometimes you'd yell a bit while venting to him but usually he was the one who broke things so he was definitely going to tag along for the ride.
"you can come, but I don't go easy on the stuff in there. Also if appreciate it if you didn't distract me. It's the only time I can take my pent up rage out and have zero consequences." You laugh as you pick up your bright bag with some first aid, water bottles and your wallet and things for your phone Incase you were there for longer than you planned.
Cut to you demolishing every piece of furniture in the room, the safety suit hiding the rage and fire behind your eyes as you yelled out and screamed all the things you'd wish you could say to the people that come in and out of your life. Beetlejuice watching in fascination and a little bit of 'im going to screw their brains out when we get home'
He loved this side of his sweet and cuddly breather.
______
You were listening to your usual music when beetlejuice decided now would be the perfect time to yank your headphones from your head and see what kind of cutesy music you were listening to as you went about your day. Safe to say his hears almost bled with the volume of the music, looking at you as if you were an imposter.
"Who are you?? Where's my precious breather??" He'd cry out as he took whatever you were working on from you and held it protectively.
"Beej, stop playing around I want to finish that!" You'd laugh out, only making him back away from you further.
"No! You're not allowed to touch (Y/N's) things!" He'd hiss as he playfully ran around your shared space. He only let up when you managed to bribe him with a few kisses.
______
I'm not a writer so djsbjxhs sorry if this is bad LOLOL I read lots of fan fics tho (◠‿・)—☆ this was pretty fun to do instead of working out tho haha
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(this is also just one of my fave parts 😭) :
“Yeah,” BJ said, wishing again that Hawkeye would toss him a pair of boxers or a burlap sack or something. The desire only made him feel worse. He hadn’t been embarrassed in front of Hawkeye in years. “I’m sorry. Weird day.”
“Yeah,” Hawkeye agreed, rubbing his back. “Lots to deal with. Um—”
“What?” BJ asked, slowly relaxing into the feeling of Hawkeye’s hand on his lower back.
“Did I upset you somehow? I don’t really understand what, uh, what, what this afternoon was about, I think.”
“I’m just—I’m an idiot,” BJ said, stating it to the cool dark of his closed eyes, muffled into the blanket. “It’s not you. I’m just ridiculous.”
Hawkeye kept rubbing his back. “Sometimes. But not half as ridiculous as I am. Frankly I’d be glad to have competition for once.”
OOOGHHH thank you I also loved writing this little bit LMAO. answer below the cut and THANK YOU for the ask ughhhh them. them. okay
ohhh okay this lil part ohhhhh. I wasn't even thinking anything too complex except for trying to figure out how BJ and Hawkeye would communicate 20 years down the line.
I mostly wanted to show that they could still disagree and have misunderstandings while also knowing and trusting each other well enough to know they can communicate anything.
BJ's dealing with an emotion that both feels terrible and one he knows isn't all the way rational, and he's embarrassed to be feeling bad about something he knows Hawkeye doesn't really care about, which I think with show-era Beej is prime Angry Spiral territory. This is usually where he'd get snippy enough at an earnestly-trying-to-help Hawkeye that they'd set off a different, worse fight, and probably misunderstand each other all over again.
But! After literally decades, I really wanted to show that they're at a point with each other where BJ can accept a negative emotion, work through it, and then let Hawkeye in to reassure him.
And flipside Hawkeye knows how to help BJ out, and also how to help him open up gently without demanding, where earlier I think me might have seen him really try to prod BJ over an issue he wasn't willing to really open up about. IDK mostly I just wanted them to be Tender and Domestic and understanding of each other. They're familiar -- BJ defaulting to mild reticence in the face of pain and embarrassment, while Hawkeye makes a bedside-manner joke to cheer him up -- but they genuinely just click and get each other. ouuuuughhh. THEM. that's all that's it. THEM.
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Haunting - Part 14
Summary: getting pissed with BJ.
Read Part 13 here
Read Part 15 here
You were sitting on the living room couch, giving Betelgeuse a very unprofessional home manicure job (you had seen a grand total of 2 YouTube tutorials and somehow you were convinced that you had devised the holy grail of ways to go about the manicure by following both). When asked about colour, you decided on black lacquer; “Gotta get that grave dirt aesthetic, babes!” he had said.
Doing this while drunk and on a sugar high was proving to be more of a disaster than you anticipated. Somehow you found yourself missing his nails and painting a good deal of his finger, the couch and your clothes along with it, not that Betelgeuse seemed to care in the slightest. Because he was also drunk as hell. You’d ‘touch up’ the edges later with a q-tip, although by that point, ‘touch-up’ was a rather generous term to describe what had gone down.
You had made a cheeky stop for the liquor store before heading home from your beach trip and the many brightly coloured bottles of flavoured soju lining the shelves caught your eyes. Betelgeuse couldn’t decide on a flavour, and you loved most of them in equal measure so you did the self indulgent thing and bought a bottle of each.
He’s only got a month of this, I may as well go all out, you said to yourself as you made the purchase. A tacky excuse, but not untrue. You weren’t an alcoholic by any means, but social drinking made for more than interesting fun times, you discovered from past experience.
At the end of the day, you ended up bagging 6 bottles. And now, here you were. Utterly wasted, binge eating gummy candy and trying unsuccessfully to paint Betelgeuse’s nails.
“You know, you were kind of an asshole back before you were, yknow corporeal. You still are sometimes, but at least you’re yourself. It’s funny because i feel like sometimes you’re so unapologetically genuine and other times you try so hard to be funny when you’re uncomfortable.”
“Ey, come on! Why d’ya gotta call me out like that! It’s my defence mechanism. Some animals go for flight, fight or flee but I run my engines on frightening, flirting and lifting some spirits. It’s the new vogue baby!” He couldn’t help but feel just a little bit pleased with himself.
You ignored the bad pun with a great ounce of determination.
“Yeah, well I wouldn’t point it out except for the fact that your face literally shows exactly how you feel.”
“I’ll have you know, I have, *hic* a fucking excellent poker face.” Betelgeuse leaned in toward you, until he was just inches away as he schooled an expression of complete calmness into his face. You didn’t even need to take a whiff to know that he smelt absolutely flammable.
Pfttt!
You tried (to varying degrees of success) to hold in your chuckling, a thin hiss of air escaping every now and then.
And it was all fine until your eyes locked with his and the floodgates burst open. Ugly laughter, snorts and giggles spilled out with nothing to stop it. First you, and then Betelgeuse followed (you hoped he was laughing with you and not at you, although you were so light headed you couldn’t tell). It was one of those moments where even the most random shit would seem funny.
You laughed so hard your sides started cramping up and you had to gasp between your breaths for oxygen. “Ow ow ow ow ow!”
“Wow, you ok there? Just take a little breather baby.” The pun took too long to register as the words rolled about your mind like loose marbles.
Almost instinctively you found his hands holding you upright at your armpits like a cat that’s been picked up like so and stretched ever so slightly.
“Beej! You’ll ruin your nails! You gotta wait for them to dry before you start doing things like that!” You protested.
“You couldn’t breathe and I wasn’t going to wait until you keeled over and died from asphyxiation before I did that! Besides, ‘gives me an excuse to ask you to do them for me tomorrow.”
“Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually paint your nails and not everything around them.” You began to yawn widely as your words became increasingly slurred.
“Alright, time for bed babes. You look like you’re gonna pass out any minute.” Scooping you up in his arms you pressed your face into his shirt, hiding away from the light as much as you could. You couldn’t see his face but if you could in the moment, he would’ve been flushed, and not just from the alcohol.
“..mm...” Vaguely, you acknowledged what he said, finding it hard to garner the energy to respond or react. Your limbs felt so so heavy, like lead weights trying to work against Betelgeuse as he carried you to your room.
“What?”
“...you’re so soft, Beej... and comfy.. like a giant pillow..” With your head resting against his chest, you could heart the faint rhythmic thump of his heart beneath the stripy ensemble he insisted on wearing. You fell silent as he carried you, lulled to attention by the quiet symphony of organs working in unison, the way they popped and squelched inside his body. It was too hard to keep your eyes open in the comfort you were encased in and once they shut, you couldn’t seem to foster the will to open them again.
You felt, rather than saw him deposit you under the blankets and when it was done, his warmth reluctantly receded from your side, leaving you feeling as cold as the unwarmed bed you lay on. Before you could stop yourself, you chased his sleeve with your hand, groping blindly in the darkness, hoping to land on something and somehow connecting with him.
“Stay with me, please?”
Betelgeuse felt his breath hitch. It was the first time you had ever asked him to join you in bed. Maybe it was said in a moment of fleeting confusion fuelled by a night of excessive drinking, but it showed that some part of you (maybe a misguided part) trusted him enough now to let him sleep near you.
Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in or maybe he just wanted a reason to get close combined with a rather enticing invitation, but he didn’t protest as he slipped under the covers to snuggle up beside you to enjoy the moment. He has learned not to question the small blessings that life gifts him.
Feeling the dip in the bed beside you, you shuffled closer, you pressed yourself up against that gentle warmth and sighing in contentment at how nice it felt. You heard a strange purr rumbling from beside you as Betelgeuse shifts, wrapping his soft frame around you like the overgrown cat he was, making it known that he was enjoying whatever this was.
It wouldn’t last, he knew, As quick as it had come, it was sure to leave once you came to your senses in the morning. That was alright though. It was fine to indulge in a little fantasy of playing house every once in a while, wasn’t it?
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice musical#beetlejuice x reader#musicaljuice x reader#musicaljuice#brightjuice#blumjuice
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Thoughts on the Beetlejuice 2 movie?
Honestly . . . .
*deep breath*
Michael Keaton said that Beetlejuice was "lightning in a bottle." They had no idea WTF they were doing and whether anyone would like it. All the cast members were fairly unknown then; there were no Movie Stars as the main characters. Tim Burton was still on the Hollywood fringe. So everybody involved was pretty unselfconscious about it. Beetlejuice was sort of the equivalent of, "Hey, guys, let's make a goofy scary movie with a bunch of cheap-ass stop-motion, it'll be a fuckin' hoot!"
I remember hearing about it at the time. All the Entertainment Industry was saying, "Burton's next film sounds absolutely ridiculous. It's had three rewrites already."
They were stunned when it became massive hit.
This time Warner Bros, Burton & Co. know Beej has a huge fandom. So they're making the film with that in mind. And, in my humble opinion, when you self-consciously make something to please people you get clunky and messy.
Michael Keaton, bless his heart and I love the guy, is too old. He's 72. I have a lot of doubts whether he can capture the manic energy of Beej again. I mean, he basically created the character, but still, I've seen Keaton in recent roles and I definitely notice he's way older. The little bit I saw of him as Batman in The Flash made me cringe a bit.
I don't know the sequel's plot, but if they have Beej going after Lydia's daughter Imma gonna be pissed. I only Ship Beej + Lyds. I'd love Beej trying to win back older Lydia, and her, now a woman who is/was evidently married (maybe), and who has a kid, fighting against temptation. What 50+ year old woman wouldn't want to leave dull middle-age and hook up with a poltergeist?
The moment I saw this
I really ground my teeth. It made me think of the old Robot Chicken skit of Beej married with a kid, still going to see Lydia. But Beej married????? NO no no nono.
If Beej is Lydia's kid's father . . . they're going to have to fill me in on all the backstory about THAT.
I don't trust the screenwriters to have gotten it right. I don't trust Tim Burton. His last several movies have all been shit (I enjoy Dumbo in spite of its many, crappy flaws). It's like Burton comes up with great ideas and then fucks up their execution. I haven't seen Wednesday so maybe I'm wrong, maybe he's bounced back. But I'm worried he Greenlit the Beej project because he thought, "We're getting too old, we need to do this now, before either Keaton or me dies," so he accepted a less than polished screenplay.
I want to be proven wrong. I want to walk out of Beetlejuice 2 laughing and yelling, "IT WAS FANTASTIC!" I'd love that.
I don't believe for a second I will.
What do you think, Anon?
Also, it better not have any references to that wet turd of a musical. I doubt it will. Both Michael Keaton and Tim Burton kept their distance from it. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the reasons Burton decided to greenlight the sequel was to return Beetlejuice to its original canon. He and Keaton, who basically invented Beej, had no involvement whatsoever with the musical; that was all Warner Brothers' baby.
youtube
#Beetlejuice#Beetlejuice 2#Beetlejuice sequel#Michael Keaton#Lydia Deetz#Winona Ryder#Tim Burton#I'm dreading it
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"I love you like that weird uncle that brings vodka to the baby shower"
Hey I figured how to post texts easily from my computer, so I'm... just gonna throw my Beetlejuice!Musical scenarios out there because why not.
It's just quick ideas and probably already done in the fandom (i'm... so late. Why did I start only now) but my friends really liked them so I'm feeling confident.
QUICK WARNING : Maybe some spelling / grammar errors (my ADHD + french ass is trying its best) / the “i love you”s are purely platonic / suicide mention (Lyds talks briefly about when she and BJ met)
Summary : Lyds and BJ are having a great time until they don't, and after some fights, feels are talked about
Just a reminder, it's not a full fanfic, but a big draft
...here goes nothing
So we're going for the basic scenario where BJ came back into the house, maybe some years after the events ; supposedly just to say “hi” and try to squat a bit while trying not to mess TOO MUCH with them because they kinda won his respect (and because he cares a lot for Lydia. She’s a good kid and a good bestie.) yada yada..
Some scenes pass, where Lydia is trying to find him and talks about it to the Maitlands who are equally confused.
One time when he was hanging out with Lydia, being lil pests and joking around, Lyds went “you’re the worst” while laughing… and Beej, instead of reacting like “yeah kid, i’m a literal demon >:)” just… laughed a bit weakly and answered with “you’re right kid”.
Lydia, confused as hell by this sad sounding reaction, just looks at him as if saying “what was that ??” but the demon already caught himself and went back to his chaotic self in no time. But the girl kept pushing ! What was that ! To the point where BJ is just getting annoyed and goes away to “sulk” because “why are we not playing anymooooore”
After a while, she realised that the demon IS avoiding her and… it’s upsetting her. So she starts summoning him.
“Beetlejuice ? Beeeetlejuice ? Beeee-”
“Okay okay alright I’m there, no need to fucking summon me. It’s gonna make a mess and I’m tired of hearing your dad complaining all the goddamn time.”
So they start talking, and even starting a bit of a fight, as Beetlejuice doesn't like to be vulnerable and Lydia is just angry and worried. To the point where she sat down, tired, while telling him “I love you man, that’s why I’m worried and keep annoying you, you didn’t talk to me for the whole day !”
BJ just… freezes, and looks back at her, looking angry and shocked at the same time, and asks her to repeat what she just said, he may not have heard that right.
“..you didn’t talk to me for the whole day ?”
“No, before.”
“I keep annoying you ?”
“True, but no, before.”
“I’m worried ?? What the hell do you want from me- oh I get it.”
“..you get what”
“... that’s “I love you man” that you wanted to hear ?”
“No you fucking don’t.”
And the fight comes back, stronger than before as it opened the dam. BJ keeps making a list of all the reasons why he’s unlovable and he knows it, and he doesn’t care about it, but he thought that Lydia was smarter than that.
And Lyds is mad too and goes on a whole tirade :
“You saved me from killing myself !”
“It was to manipulate you, you were my only chance to get out of this shit !”
“But you made me feel alive again by distracting me, by giving me a best friend ! You made me laugh for real and have fun for the first time after my mother’s death. You protect me YOURSELF from Juno. You respected me and my family by going away after all that crap while you could have left and never let us heal.”
“I love you like that weird uncle that brings vodka to the baby shower or the gender reveal party, I love you like that big brother that keeps cheating at game boards but then teaches me how to do it, I love you like that family member that you don’t remember how is he even blood related ; but when you see him pulling at the family function, you know you’re gonna have a great laugh, I love you like that big wild cousin that brings the grossest, punkest, weirdest but coolest gifts while everyone was gifting me pink sparkly shits. I love you like that cool uncle, my best friend, my partner in crime, my family.”
“And I’m sorry that your mother never told you this, that NOBODY ever told you this because you acted like a manipulative murderous bitch the whole time, but you are honestly and weirdly fun, and friendly, and somehow even more present that my father, so yeah. I love you asshole.”
And Beetlejuice… can’t say anything. His hair goes full purple and he starts sobbing right away. Lydia catches him in her arms and sinks slowly to the floor with him, while hugging him.. They stay like this for a while, BJ still crying his heart out while clutching to her, Lydia a bit teary and there for him.. and once he calms down he just mumbles “... lil bastard, you got me feeling as much as the short time that I was alive” which makes her laugh a bit.
I don’t really know how to really finish that, but they spend a little while talking and Lydia realises.. how tired he actually is. Things had happened while he was out there and he came back here because… this is the safest place he remembers.
Thanks for reading my thoughts :’D I’ll maybe write the full thing if the hyperfixation is strong enough !
#beetlejuice musical#beetlejuice#bjtm#nano.doc#(yay new tag)#lydia deetz#no beetleb@bes btw#or at least try to be discret#I'm uncomfy with that#and i tends to check the notes time to time
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Holy shit. Beej, I love this.
I'll be running as fast as I can in my pretty little heels, gasping and trying not to make a sound. I'll probably pull my gown down a couple times, in a futile effort to cover my panties. And when I feel that gust of cold...let's just say, I didn't wear a bra, so something is going to be poking out.
I'll be out of breath easily, panting and adrenaline rushing, giving you the perfect opportunity to show up and maybe get a look or two down my cleavage.
I'll squeal and shriek when you wrap me up- your poor little victim is terrified. I'm gonna squirm and try to push against you, but it's only gonna get my clit throbbing and my teeny little panties soaked.
That tongue of yours...it's so big and long, but it feels...oddly nice...
-Monstrous Anon
You're beautiful when you're scared, baby.
I don't wanna wear you out too much, prey. Don't want you too exhausted to put up just as much fight as you want. The nice thing about a serpentine form is that I can get all around you, hissing and chuckling in your ear, an' the next moment have my face down at the hem of that skimpy little nightgown of yours.
A forked tongue is good for tickling and gettin' a nice taste of those damp little panties of yours, but my real tongue does better work. You thought your panties were wet before? I'm gonna suck your pussy through 'em. I'm gonna nibble your clit through the fabric, an' I'm gonna keep it up till you cream on my tongue. You're all wrapped up, so there's no way you can fight me off, baby.
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Love me, love me, say that you love me
Musical beetlejuice x fem reader
Beej hits you with a love potion to get you to confess you love him, it goes wrong
Dubious consent, nsft, nothing serious happens, you know me
"Satisfaction guaranteed..." the ghoul mumble to himself as he read the label of the bottle he was holding.
Beetlejuice, you're undead demonic, freeloader of a roommate, had just come back from a quick trip to the netherworld, and unlike his other trips, it wasnt for business, but pleasure, a quick shopping trip while you were out of the house.
"For the chunk of change you cost, it better" the ghoul smiled, pink streaks creeping into his hair.
In his hands was a pink bottle shaped like a human heart, a perfume type atomizer spray bottle.
Beetlejuice KNEW you liked him, but he also knew you were a coward about it, yes your shyness was cute, and the way you danced around this fact did have its charms, but the time has come for you to spit it out, you had to make the first move, not him.
Yes the demon could charm you, but you wouldnt take him seriously, he knew that, beetlejuice knew his flirting towards you and his advances towards you were seen as a joke, and why wouldnt it, he knew he couldnt be taken seriously, he took every chance he had to make a crude joke, why would anyone take him seriously, so he played it up to get you to smile, or even to get you embarrassed was also nice.
But today was different, today beetlejuice was gonna get you to say "I love you" albeit with force, but that was something he could live/die with.
The ghoul, now buzzing electric pink and green ready's himself at the door, waiting for his sweet breather to come in him trap.
You were on your way back from the post office to pick up a package that you or beej werent home to sign for, it was just some clothes, nothing too exciting, but a nice excuse to get out of the house for a nice walk, as much as you loved spending time with your undead friend, who you may or may not have a crush on, it was nice to have some alone time.
You walk into you apartment complex and slowly make it back to your flat, you fumble with your keys as you unlock the door, the soft jingle and muffled cursing was a great single to beetlejuice that you were home, the ghoul takes a deep breath, not that he needed too, and gets into position, readying the bottle's nozzle to the level of your face.
"I'm home-" was all you got out before receiving a face full of god knows what, you prayed it was water, wiping your face and rubbing your eyes, you didnt need to see who the culprit was for this shitty joke, pulling your hands from your face, you saw the demon standing infront of you, arms stretched out in a pre hug position, eyes closed, lips puckered, slightly leaning towards you.
Your anger quickly faded, but was replaced with confusion, you say nothing but only stare at the ghoul.
Seconds pass, beetlejuice opens on eye to see what the hold up was, was there a delay with the potion? Does it take a minute to kick in? Or was it a peice of junk?
Beetlejuice drops his awkward position, and smooths back his hair, trying to hide to spots the purple trying to emerge.
"So y/n, welcome home" he starts off shaky "you feel okay? Maybe a little warmer? Heart beating a little faster? Maybe even a little eager to jump someone or tell them something deep?" Subtle
"What are you talking about? Beetlejuice what the hell was that about?!" You huff
The ghoul is taken back by your tone, he was expecting you to be more soft, after a spray of that crap, he scowls glancing down to the bottle in his hands, waste of money, unless, he drops his scowl and focuses back to you, a sly smile plastered across his face.
"Just some netherworld perfume, very popular stuff, thought I'd surprise my favorite breather with it"
"Suprise is right" you grumble walking passed him, heading to the living room you place your things on the table, beetlejuice was quick to follow.
"How bout another try babes? I promise I wont get ya in the face, though I prefer to squirt ya in the face~"
"I dont know bee, I'm not that really into perfume" you shurg
Beetlejuice frowns and huffs out his nose, for what he paid for this peice of shit he wasnt gonna give up after one shot.
"Come on babes, do it for your good pal~" he pleads
You frown in response
"Okay sugar, you know regardless of what you say I'm gonna get what I want, so just play ball"
"Fine" you grumble, you can always take a shower later, hell you were going to anyway, your face felt gross after being hit by that stuff earlier.
The demon's face lights up at your answer, you held out your wrist as an indicator that you wanted to be sprayed their and were ready for it, though that wish was completely ignored, as the ghoul quickly leans forward and sprays you in the face again.
The ghoul stares at you praying to whatever and whoever for this to work, you turn away from the demon, curse under your breath and rub at your face.
As you rub your face beetlejuice goes back into position, arms stretched out, lips puckered, ready to receive your love, and hoping you wont banish him if this didnt work.
Moving your hands from your face you let out sigh, you jolt feeling a familiar twinge in your lower reigns, a desperate pulse for attention, you could feel your heart racing, your head was swimming, turning to face the ghoul, the second you laid your eyes on him the pulsing inbetween your legs intensifies, give let out a soft "bee" before leaping into his arms, slamming your lips into his, and wrapping your legs around his waist. The demon's eyes shoot open at this, his hands were quick to grab onto your rear, a mix of holding you up and feeling you up, his hair bloomed from green to pink in a flash, hell he was so excited his stripes went from black to pink.
"Oh Lawrence" you breathed between kisses, beetlejuice only hummed in response, too lost in this bliss to think.
"Couch?" You whine as you wiggle your hips against his semi.
"Holy crap" he groans, this was really happening, he quickly brought you to the couch, flopping down on his back, having you sit pretty on top of him.
You continue to kiss him, shoving your tongue in his mouth, the ghoul loved you taking charge, he dreamed of it often, he didnt put up a fight and gave you the dominance to explore his mouth, pulling away to breath, a nice line of spit connected the two of you. You move your attention on to the demon's neck, peppering it with kisses and giving the occasional nip at his cold flesh.
Beetlejuice was over the moon with this change in demeanor, who knew his y/n would have it in them, the ghoul purs feeling your hands roam his body, his hands plant firmly on your rear, giving it a small pinch every once and again, everytime you would respond with a whine.
He was in heaven, or as close as an undead demon was gonna get.
You give his tie a tug, as if to ask for permission to continue, beetlejuice moans encouraging you to keep going.
You give the demon a quick kiss on the lips, moving to his jawline, to his neck, as you untie his tie, you toss the garment aside as you start to work on his shirt's buttons, kissing every inch of skin that is slowly revealed.
You move down his body, the demons chest and stomach fully exposed, and kissed, beetlejuice was in a complete daze from your love, but quickly snaps out of it when he feels you palm the tent in his pants.
"Whoa babes-"
"Is this for me?~" you coo "it looks so big~" you sigh giving the tent a light squeeze "it's really hard"
Beetlejuice quickly sits up, stifling a moan.
"Babes, y/n, just hold it-"
"Oh, would you rather be on top?" You ask softly crawling towards him "or would you rather I not use my hands? I can give it a kiss if you want" You crawl back into the demon's arms leaning in for another kiss, you stumble forward as beetlejuice quickly vanished, reappearing a few feet away from you, the demon pulling his shirt together, as if trying to hide himself.
"Let's just take a second here, likes put a pin in this, and ah, just relax" god slash satan this wasnt fair, and maybe 100 percent his fault, here you were drugged out of your mind begging him to have sex with you, jesus all he needed from you was a simple "I love you" not this, but he'll sure be thinking about this later.
"Why dont ya cool down babes, and we can talk about this"
"How can I cool down, when I'm so hot for you" you moan as you unbutton your shirt, fully exposing your lacy black bra, the demon swallows hard, you slowly stand up letting your shirt fall, your hands traveling behind your back as you unhooked your bra, letting it fall to the floor.
"Oh fuck" beetlejuice whines in a higher pitch,
You slowly make your way over to him, gently grabbing one of his hands and bringing it to your exposed chest "your hands are so nice and cold, maybe you could help me cool down?"
God slash satan did he wanted to give your boob a nice squeeze, but you're not you right now, he pulls his hand away, then places both of his hands on your shoulders, your skin was hot to the touch. Averting your gaze he clears his throat
"Maybe a cold shower would be help ya out"
"Maybe if you join me" you sigh leaning into the demon's chest, your hands resting on his hips.
"Y/n-"
"Are you sure you dont want help with your 'little friend'?"
Any other time he'd be delighted to have you help, but now was not that time.
"Let's just take a second here babes, we'll fool around later okay, I mean do you have condoms? I dont have any on me, we need protection" beetlejuice knew he couldnt get you sick or pregnant since he was a dead demon, but you didnt know that. "And besides, no means no, you know that y/n" BJ didnt exactly blame you, you werent in your right mind, you were horny as hell thanks to that stupid potion, of course you couldnt think straight.
You pull away from him, mortified at your pushy behavior "I'm sorry" you breath out "I just, I couldn't help myself Lawrence, you're just, I mean, i just love you so much, my body needed you" you began to cry "you're always saying how much you want me, and how you're "ready to go" all the time, I just thought-" you babbled, tears rolling down your cheeks
I love you
Those 3 little words he ached to hear, not how he wanted to hear them, but this whole thing was a mess.
"Babes, it's okay, I was enjoying it, believe me, it's just that I'm not ready to go all the way with you, let's just give it some time" which wasnt true, if you were willing so was he, willing as in not drugged. "And yeah, I talk a big game, but believe me doll, i want our first time to be special, so Hows bought you go put a top on, and we can put this little mess behind us?" It was an odd day when this harbinger of chaos had to be a voice of reason.
You nodded as you slip away to collect your bra and shirt that were tossed aside, beetlejuice frowns at this situation and wanders off to the item that started it, retrieving the bottle he squints at the label to read the rest of the instructions he didnt bother reading, and their it was, in the fine print 'warning, do not use on the living, results may vary and are not limited to nausea, drowsiness, intense sexual desires-' he groans then curses.
"Beetlejuice?"
The ghoul turns his attention to you, fully dressed.
"No hard feelings, aside from your, you know"
The demon gives you a soft laugh "no hard feelings babes"
"Could I have a hug? I promise to behave" it's not that the pulsing in your loins stopped, in fact the intensity was stronger now, you just wanted to be close the ghoul before dealing with these feelings alone, there was no harm in that
Beetlejuice pauses for a second, before smiling "alright sugar, bring it in" there was no harm in a hug, sure his dick was still kinda hard, but that's fine.
You walk into the ghoul's arms, slowly circling your own around him, beetlejuice gently pats your back. You nuzzle into his neck, and whisper "I love you Lawrence" before planting a soft kiss on his cheek.
Pulling away from the ghoul, his scent, and touch fresh in your mind you make your way to the bathroom to shower, amongst other things.
If you were to turn back you would have seen a glowing pink Beej who's legs are about to give out
"ARRGHHH! That's worse... They're killing me again!"
The should of the shower rings through the ghoul's ears, he grumbles as he puts his suit back together, grabbing the bottle that started it all he snaps his fingers and vanishes, off to give the schmuck who sold this to him a peice if his mind.
...
A few hours later beetlejuice reappears into your living room, grumbling to himself as he tucks the bottle into his jacket, no sense tossing it, maybe when the two of you are knocking boots, he could use it as an aphrodisiac, with your consent of course.
"Bee? Is that you?" Your voice rings through your flat, it was late, beetlejuice was hoping youd be asleep when he came back.
The ghoul makes his way to your room.
"Yeah, I had to take care of something"
"I was just about to go to bed" you were sitting on your bed wearing an over sized shirt that just covered your bum, the ghoul's eyes glance about, stopping at your vibrator that was now laying on the floor, he could smell the sex in the air, another time this would have been delightful.
"Do you want to join me? Sleeping? Like you normally do?" You sounded a tad too eager "I mean if you feel comfortable"
Beetlejuice gives you smile "sure" he snaps away his suit, leaving a pair of boxers, seeing your eyes light up was something he had to burn in his brain forever.
You scramble under the covers waiting for the demon to join you, which he promptly did.
"Is it okay if I snuggle with you?" You ask softly
"Anything you want babes" he purred, you quickly snuggle up to him, using his soft chest as a pillow, your hand petting the hair on his stomach.
"If you change your mind, I'm not wearing any panties" you whisper in the demons ear.
This was gonna be a long night
...
Bonus
The next morning beetlejuice woke up to an empty bed, confused he made his way to the living room, and there you were, sitting on the couch with your face in your hands.
"Morning?" He greets you
No response
"Babes?"
Nothing, beetlejuice makes his way to you, sitting down next to you, he places a hand on your shoulder, you flinch.
"Wake up and smell the coffee babycakes-"
"I am so sorry for yesterday, I- i don't know what came over me, i- beetlejuice, I so sorry for putting you into that type of situation, I-" you sobbed
The ghoul's hair quickly bloomed purple, you're blaming yourself for what he did to you "dont worry your pretty little head sweetheart, it was that perfume, how was I supposed to know it messed with breathers, believe me I gave that guy who sold it to me a peice of my mind, my poor little y/n warped and twisted into someone hornier then me" it wasnt all true, but beetlejuice couldnt have you beating yourself up over this, nor did he want to tell you the full truth.
"Really?" You sniffle
"Really"
You lean into the demon and he pulls you into a soft embrace, patting your back.
"How's bout we order some take out and I put a smile on that sweet face of yours?"
You pull away from beetlejuice and rub away your tears "I'd like that"
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Can I request a pure, angelic s/o that loves to make flower crowns for the slasher boys?
cute! x also added some accompanying emoji faces because they fit so well hahah
Michael
⚆-⚆
- very confused.
- he loves to watch you make them, fascinated with the amount of skill required to weave and bend intricate pieces of flowers and stems between your fingers.
- Michael sometimes will just sit opposite you and watch you do it, fingering the stems with curiosity.
- however, when you presented one to him, he just made a confused noise and stared at it, unsure what to do with it.
- when you tried putting it on his head, he kept leaning back until he was practically lay on the carpet like a feral cat.
- he bats it away and will probably hiss if you keep insisting he wears it.
- however, he does accept the gift eventually, he just refuses to wear anything on his head that interferes either with his mask or his look.
- instead, Michael sports flower bracelets or lets you wrap them around his knife handles.
- becomes a big fan of the red coloured flowers because they match the bloodied weapons.
Bubba
(◐‿◐✿)♥
- loves them! He’s always keen to help, but he’s not very good at it, and usually ends up crushing the flowers.
- however, he doesn’t get upset by this and will still present the end product to you, in a mess of crushed petals and stems.
- if you praise him for it, he becomes all blushy and content, prompting you to make more.
- he wears his all the time, even though his family teases him relentlessly for it.
- Bubba takes great pride in his flower accessories, and cried once when his crown broke because he caught it when putting his apron on.
- his victims are super confused to see this huge, bloody man with a chainsaw and a flower crown slanted over his head.
- wears his crowns in the shower, literally everywhere, and will always come straight to you if he breaks or loss it.
- basically, Bubba is a big soft baby.
Jason
(๑•́ᗜ•́)
- not only does he love watching you make these, but he’s also very good at it.
- Jason is very talented with his hands (hehe) and he is very quick to learn new skills, especially when you’re involved, he just loves being by your side doing anything.
- he likes that you’re so passionate about this, and that it brings out your softness.
- you’re so precious to him, he just wants to keep you constantly safe and happy.
- he gets really into the flower crown thing, bringing you back all kinds of flowers he finds in the forest, even finding certain weeds pretty.
- Jason doesn’t wear them very much though, only because he wants to keep them safe and decorate his cabin with them.
- the one time he wore one, a teen ripped it off him when fighting, and Jason just yeeted the kid across the forest in rage at the sight of his broken gift from you.
- of course, he comes back to you and whines until you make him another.
Billy & Stu
(Ɔ˘з˘)(ꈍヮꈍ)ε˘ C)
- you would have thought you’d given them a gold watch with their responses.
- Billy plays it cool, grinning and flicking his hair aside as he insists you be the one to put it on his head because of course he can’t do it himself.
- he rocks it throughout the school, strutting, showing it off.
- Stu is a lot less contained, he gives you puppy eyes and laughs exciteably.
- nobody has ever given him something so personal that they made by their own hands!
- Stu insists he wants a matching one to Billy, and eventually they both insist that you wear one too so you all can match.
- the way they see it, these crowns are signs of ownership, that they own you and they’re equally yours.
- if anybody in school even smiles, or makes a tiny comment, Billy grabs them by the collar and will actually growl like a dog, with Stu leering over his shoulder.
- nobody messes with the Flower Crown Squad
The Man
(ﾟдﾟ )
- okay, so stinky hunter man doesn’t like being taken care of very much because he’s not used to it, so it takes time for him to warm up to your love.
- however, it’s obvious that you are different to him, and he’s only soft around you, which of course means he’s equally possessive of you.
- when you start making crowns, he scoffs jokingly, but he comments on how well they turn out.
- he’s a bit like Jason in the sense that he will actively seek to bring you home flowers from the woods or probably stolen from someone’s garden.
- it makes him a bit uncomfortable at the thought of looking vulnerable though, so you have to practically wrestle him the first time to get one on his head, and then he just sits there like a stunned deer in headlights.
- he looks in the mirror and his face lights up.
- “Ooh, okay!”
- does a little turn, flashing a grin in thanks.
- he starts to love the confusion that it sets in people when he’s shooting arrow bolts at them, but wearing a bright pink flower crown.
- he prefers seeing you in them, though, finding it as adorable as it is a bit of a turn-on.
- yes, he will ask you to wear one in bed.
Beetlejuice
ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ )
- um, what is this?? Flowers?? Gross
- he takes some convincing, but eventually you notice he starts to watch you making them more, leaning over your shoulder and suggesting colour combos.
- finally (it only takes like a week) he gives in and wants one badly.
- he requests his colours (green, black, purple) so you make him one of fake flowers, which is easier because he kills real flowers in a second.
- Beej follows you around until you’ve finished and then (like Billy) insists you bestow it on his head.
- it becomes his signature accessory, like his suit jacket, and he fusses with getting it just right on his head.
- Beej wants you to make more flower stuff, like bracelets, and ropes, and... yeah, he gets very carried away into horny land
- regardless, he’s very proud of it and tells everyone what a good creator you are.
- any mocking of you or his crown = BJ scaring them so badly they have a heart attack.
#slasher#horror#reader insert#michael myers x reader#jason voorhees x reader#bubba sawyer x reader#beetlejuice x reader#the man x reader#hush 2016#billy and stu x reader#billy x stu x reader#cute#fluff
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Part of me wants rewriting, like Beej and Lyds have an actual fight before she goes up to the Maitlands or Juno gets more screentime... And Beej doesn't leave and gets adopted but at the same time I'm always worried if there are rewrites maybe there will be censoring of the raunchier jokes? As far as I can tell I don't think there'll be any need for major rewrites in response to modern events except covid, maybe there'll be some new disease jokes like Beej punches an anti-masker?
official petition to bring back the “i was anti-vaxx now i’m dead” guy in What I Know Now sign your name here !!!
but oh god i am so excited and so afraid to find out if they’re going to be making any rewrites. i don’t think i’ve ever mentioned it on this blog so you guys probably don’t know this (🙃) but the pre-broadway DC show was the version i first fell in love with and adjusting to all the changes that were made when it moved to broadway was…..a process. don’t get me wrong i REALLY loved all the stuff they added, but it was also really tough to lose all the stuff we lost, to have gotten to know and love one show and then have it change so much. which is the only reason i’m a little 😬 to find out about re-opening cause I’M NOT WILLING TO LOSE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN’T GO THROUGH IT AGAIN.
BUT!! the good news is even if there are changes this time they definitely won’t be as drastic as the last time. my guess is if there are any re-writes they’ll just be a few added jokes to keep the humor current (i definitely think you’re right they’re gonna fit at LEAST one covid joke in we’re calling it now), and maybe a couple lyric rewrites (at the very least we already know they’re gonna have to change the opening lines of TWBDT). censoring to make the show more “family-friendly” was a pretty big part of the DC to Broadway changes so i’d like to think they already made the show as PG as they’re willing to go (fingers crossed…). but i love your ideas i think they’d be really cool!! i guess all i’m hoping is that any changes they make will be added on and not taken away know what i mean?
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What are your fav beetlebabes headcanons? Also, love your stuff <3
Thank you <3. And thank you for the wait cause oh boy if I don’t answer this ask with a ridiculous amount of art how will I live?
*Digging out the dust covered manuscript that is my nonexistent Beetlebabes fic from under the floorboards* It’s showtime.
So...Lydia is the one who falls first. She is about 17 or 18 at the time, so this is very much an “I have a teen crush on someone I am not supposed to” type of deal. Honestly they fell in love with each other way before that but like, platonically
Beej is...horribly oblivious XD. Honestly its for the best because Lydia spends the better part of her pre-college summer freaking about because any time her best friend walks in the door her heart wants to go bull-riding in her chest and if she actually has to confront her feelings she might just explode.
Then, just before Lydia was supposed to go away to college, Beetlejuice...disappears. He leaves a note, saying he’ll be back, but weeks turn into months, months turn into a year, and no one either in the living world or the netherworld has seen a hair of him. Lydia goes through college without really knowing what to do with herself, missing what was probably the closest person in her life. She graduates with a journalism degree and a minor in photography. She works for a newspaper as an investigative journalist before breaking off over less than great circumstances and going off on her own.
She’s 25 when she establishes herself as a pivate eye, with an enormous amount of anonymous sources being dead people. Also, this takes place in New York City.
(Yes she absolutely does exorcisms on the side).
She’s following a rather stange missing persons case when one of her sources points to a run down establishment that is 100% totally haunted. Except when she goes there she doesn’t find any ghosts, but rather
Beetlejuice. And he looks awful. And very much human.
Lydia: You look like hell.
Beej: Yeah, I just got back.
...
Beej: Also I’ma pass out now so you better catch me.
So he crashes at Lydia’s place, and the whole thing turns into solving the crime as well as Beej’s mysterious aquirement of a beating heart and working lungs. He doesn’t remember how that’s happened, only now everything is Too Much with Too Many Feelings. Speaking of feelings, you bet your ass there is PINING. SO much pining. Lydia’s best friend comes back and suddenly those feelings she’d dismissed as a stupid teenage crush come FLOODING BACK.
While Lydia’s internally feaking out over her feelings (it's totally normal and platonic to wanna kiss your best friend while he sleeps, right??), Beetlejuice is, you guessed it, totally oblivious! To his own feelings especially! All he knows is that it's his best friend only now she seems like a completely different person, and hot. She is now hot. His mad respect for Lydia makes him bury that thought deep, deep down. Also the whole marriage deal is a source on bad memories for both of them and he doesn’t wanna ruin the only good thing he’s ever had and-
Anyway, more pining:
Lydia’s feelings bring out resentment, too. She hates that Beej calls her kid, because that means he still sees her as one, and her ego and her desire for him make her want him to see her, the woman who's seen some real shit in the name of finding the truth, who can take care of herself, and who is very different from that angsty 15 year old girl on the roof.
It all comes ahead to a big confrontation where Lydia is shot, and Beetlejuice has to drag her to the hospital without any knowledge of how human bodies work and he has no magic so he can’t help her-
The hospital needs to know his relationship to her when they take her away, and Beetlejuice knows they wont let him in unless he’s close family so he is blurts out: “Husband. Yeah, I’m her...husband.”
Lydia wakes up with a patched up hole in her side and Beetlejuice clinging to her hand. She’s happy she’s alive, but also angry, because she could have avoided all of this. She was competent enough to not need anyone to rescue her.
She wants to get back on the case as soon as possible, she found the key lead, but Beej doesn’t wanna hear it, cause he saw way too much of her blood and he’s not big on how human bodies work, but he's pretty sure that shit’s supposed to stay inside. They’re arguing when the nurse comes in and adresses him as “Mr. Deetz.”
Lydia snatches the clipboard away, sees that he’s told them she’s his wife, and is livid. Because crush or not the wedding thing had a whole lot of baggage she does not want to unpack. She has to confront the fact that her feelings are for someone who manipulated her into marriage at 15 and who she’s not supposed to see in that way but she does anyway.
And Beej, a dumbass but also angry cause she almost died out of a stupid reckless mistake is like: "Why are you all mad? It was a green card thing. It's not like it means anything." And that gets Lyds even more upset, with him cause he's an idiot, and with herself because she's still pining for someone who, she thinks, still sees her as a child.
Lyds, getting her coat: "Fuck off."
BJ: "Kid-"
Lydia: "Stop calling me that! I haven't been a child since my mother died. I haven't been a child since you showed up! I haven't been a child since I've started this, since I moved here, since the first asshole tried to kill me. I've been through literal hell and I've had to pull myself out of it all on my own because I was still here and you left."
There's a beat of silence as Lydia realizes what she just said.
Lydia: "And that's fine. Because I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You taught me that, at least." She yanks her coat onto her shoulders and turns to go.
BJ, quietly, but its clear he's angry: "Do you think I wanted to leave?"
Lydia: "I don't know what you wanted. Do you even know what you wanted?" She pauses at the door, turns to him. "Do you know what you want, Betelgeuse?"
BJ: "I-"
He stops. He can't look her in the eye anymore. You. I want you. Lydia scoffs, turns to go.
BJ: "Lydia, wait-"
Lydia: "Fuck. Off."
She leaves, and he just stands there, floored by his too little too late realization. Lydia thinks the best thing to do after leaving the hospital with a bullet hole in her side and hopped up on painkillers is to go get drunk! Self-preservation? None
Beetlejuice finally finds her drunk off her ass and suddenly in a great mood. He grabs her under the arms like "Whelp. Time to go."
Lydia: "Nooo come on-"
BJ: "Aren't you on hospital drugs? Doesn't that shit kill you breathers if you mix it all up?"
Lydia: ":D I stopped taking them :'D it hurts like a bitch."
BJ: "I guess I have the shared braincell now. Okay, time to go."
He manages to get her in the car without incident, but when he gets in the driver's seat suddenly Lydia's all over him.
BJ, with a lap full of drunk Lydia: "What. What are you doing."
Lydia: "Beeetlejuice."
BJ: "Yeees?"
Lydia, smiling all dopey as she cups his cheeks: "Beeetlejuuuice."
BJ: "What"
Lydia's finger hovers over his nose, as if to boop him. He closes his eyes. And suddenly her lips are on his. She tastes like alcohol and hospital food and as she pulls away he can't think. Then she starts laughing. "Ha! Gotchaaa! Classic Bait and Switch!"
And he’s pissed.
BJ: "Ha. Ha. Good one, Lyds."
He dumps her out of his lap and into the passenger seat. Lydia blinks in confusion. Now she's cold. She wants to ask, but her mental faculties aren't all with her at the moment. He drives them home and helps her up the stairs before dumping her onto her bed. "Well. Bye." Lydia scrambles up the bed. The car ride gave her enough time to be at least a bit sober, and everything before getting here is blurry. "Where are you going?" Beetlejuice turns around, the widest smile on his face. She's confused for a moment before she realizes he's vibrating with rage. "Ya said you want me gone? Great! You don't need me, you can do your weird little suicidal quest thing yourself!" Lydia looks lost. They had a fight but she'd rarely seen him this angry. "If its about the thing at the hospital, I didn't- I didn't mean it-"
Beetlejuice: "Really? You'd think you'd be glad to have me gone. Why would you want a creep like me around? The whole marriage thing didn't just disappear, after all! Great to know you can still pull one on me, huh?"
Lydia: "Pull what, Beetlejuice-"
She remembers, hazily, the car ride.
They stare at each other for a moment Beej is breathing heavily, he's not used to living person emotions, ones you can feel with your whole body instead of just as an abstract thing, but its clear he's holding back
Lydia: "I wasn't-"
Beej: "You weren't what?"
Lydia (quietly): "It wasn't a joke."
The angry grin slips off Beej's face. He suddenly looks very, very tired. She might have believed just now that he'd lived for millennia.
Beej: “Why are you doin' this, Lyds? Did you know the whole damn time? It's not like I was gonna do anything, I just thought- I just-”
Lydia suddenly realizes that they are having two different conversations. And something else. She looks away, trying to wrap her head around it, and Beetlejuice doesn't read it correctly. He turns to go.
Lydia: “Wait!”
She jumps off the bed, feeling the whole world tip over slightly, still drunk, and stumbled over to him. He catches her instinctively as she grips his forearms for support.
Lydia: “Beej. Beej, look at me.”
She takes his face in her hands, and turns it toward her. He looks so lost, like one word from her might actually break him. She'd only seen that look on his face once before, and she never wants to again.
Lydia takes a breath.
Lydia: “Beetlejuice, I-”
Aaand then she throws up all over his shoes.
She doesn't quite remember what happened next, only that she was in the bathroom, leaning against the door, the toilet was flushed, she was sweating, and he wasn't there.
Lydia: “Beej?”
Beetlejuice (through the door): “...hi”
Lydia: “What-”
BJ: “-happened? Well, that's a story!”
His voice sounds cheerful, but it’s shaking slightly
BJ: “First ya threw up all over us both! then that little experiment of yours with mixing the meds went off, and you started babbling about...rocks? Then we got here, you heaved out the rest of your insides, and then ya kicked me out and said you were gonna shower, and now we're sitting here, so, yeah”
Lydia: “...Are you still covered in puke?”
BJ:”...yeah”
Lydia: “...sorry?”
BJ: “Pshh, what's a best friend if ya can't throw up on 'im a couple times.”
They both fall silent
Beetlejuice (quietly): “Lyds, do ya still want me here?”
...
Lydia takes the time to find the words. Want him here? After everything, he was still asking that question. Did he still think, after all this time, that she'd throw him out at the smallest inconvenience? Would he ever stop thinking that way? Why did he think so now? Was it because he- Because he-
Lydia: “I love you.”
The other side of the door is silent.
Lydia: “I love your stupid laugh. You sound like a fucking cartoon villain, its so fucking obnoxious. I love your jokes, all of them, even the shitty ones- you always look so god damn proud when you say them.”
Is she crying? She tries to wipe at her face, but the tears keep coming.
Lydia: “I loved you since that last day on the roof, and when you left-”
Her throat closes up. She chokes back on her tears, she has to finish it, he has to hear it.
Lydia: “When you left I thought I might die again.”
Lydia: “I kept seeing things, dumb branding on cereal boxes, that shitty college play I went to, my first client, and I kept thinking aw, Beej would have a field day with this one. I thought about what you'd say. You were like a voice I couldn't scrape out of my head, I thought I was going crazy, I thought I'd imagined it all, some lonely little girl with no life or friends, needing someone to talk to- But you'd been real, and then you were just gone- “
The words dissolve in her throat as she sobs, pulling her knees up to her chest. She feels like a child now. She feels more childlike than she had at 15. She’s clinging to a scrap of hope she doesn’t have a right to demand from him. And yet he'd said-
Lydia: “I love you. Please, don't leave.”
They sit is silence for a while. Lydia tries to stop crying. Then, quietly from the other side of the door:
BJ: “You know what I thought when I first saw you?”
Lydia: “Here’s a suicidal teen haha what a riot?”
BJ: “What? No, not then. Like now.”
Lydia: “Oh. What?”
BJ: “I thought wow, who the hell is that and why is she so dang hot?”
Lydia laughs.
BJ: “And then I thought oh God that’s Lydia.”
Something in his voice makes her pause. Maybe it’s the strange fear that she feels coming from him.
BJ: “It’s like, you’re Lydia, and I don’t know shit about you! You’re the same person, but you’re a stranger to me. Lyds, do you know how fucking terrifying that is? You’re someone I never got to know because of a shitty decision I don’t even remember making.”
he falls silent. She can hear the pain in his voice. And something else. Longing.
Beetlejuice: “I’d like to.”
Lydia opens the door. Beetlejuice scrables up, only for her to throw her arms around him.
They figure it out. It’s a slowburn 200k fic that I’ll never write so it takes a while for them to actually kiss, or do anything more, but they get there.
This turned out...ridiculously long XD. I don’t know what you meant by “headcanons”, exactly, but have this instead.
Thanks for the ask!
#beetlejuice#beetlebabes#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice musical#lydia deetz#betelgeuse#beetlelyds#here it is#the phantom 200k slow burn mutual pining fic#in post format#i spent...way too long making this#if some stuff is formatted differently its because i copy pasted off a discord server#my art#fan art#tw: vomiting#seems like a good one to tag#edit: love how i tagged vomiting but not suicide mention#though with this fandom its not exactly a shock#tw: suicide mention#vee's art
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I.H.N.F.T.
Inspired by this post by @obsessive-ego and @saucymangos .
You're just trying to enjoy a peaceful Friday night, but someone else has other plans.
Invisible!Beej x Reader
I tried to keep it gender neutral, so please let me know how I did.
Oral sex, penetrative sex, surprise sex.
I. H. N, F. T
An average Friday night sees you relaxing on the couch, chest down, legs kicking while you kill time. There's a random show up on the tv, you're in some comfy lounging clothes, and you're loving the peace.
A small noise has you looking over your shoulder. It sounded like someone just stepped on a creaky spot, but when you turn to see, there's nothing. Tingles run down your back as a spike of fear shoots through you.
Shaking your head, you refuse to let your mind go down that path. Your doors and windows are locked. This isn't a horror movie. Buildings settle.
Your attention moves back to what you're doing, though the hairs on the back of your neck refuse to settle down.
As the time passes, you settle back down. Your eyes grow heavy, head harder to hold up.
What feels like moments later, you jerk up. Checking your phone, you see it's well after midnight.
Confused, you wonder what woke you, when a heavy force hits your back, forcing your chest into the cushion. You let out a startled squeak. Your hips are yanked up, bottoms and panties pulled off before you can even think to fight back.
"Ah, ah, ah," a dark voice growls from behind you. "Don't bother fightin', breather. You ain't going anywhere before I've had my fill."
Firm palms crack against both ass cheeks, before pulling them apart. The unseen person stares for a moment before you feel a tongue and fingers start to explore.
Moans and squeals are muffled. Your hips jerk, to get closer or a way, you're not sure.
A finger circles your hole as the tongue and mouth lift, suckle, and nip at your most sensitive spots.
"Oh god," you groan into your couch as you're fighting against the pleasure.
"No god here, babe," he growls against you. "This is all me."
The finger he's been using to tease your entrance disappears, only to return a moment later, slicked with his saliva. Instead of a circling tease, there's a probing pressure, before you feel him breach.
At the same time, he doubles the suction at your most sensitive spot. There's no more fighting as the pleasure crashes over you. Your body shudders and shakes as you come, and you notice his grip soften.
Moving quickly, you jerk your hips away, his finger slipping out as you tumble from your couch.
You stumble a few steps before you turn, your back hitting the wall, as you search for your surprise orgasm giver, but no one's there.
"What the?" you whisper.
Before you can figure out what to do, your shirt is shredded down the front as your hands are pinned to the wall.
Your mouth opens in shock right as another one slants over yours, the tongue that played with you earlier now dueling with yours. He has his tongue halfway down your throat, but you still just see your living room.
Shutting your eyes, you surrender.
As suddenly as it slammed onto yours, the mouth is gone. It glides down your neck, stopping to nibble at your collarbone. He draws a wide spiral around your nipple, making you anticipate his next action.
Unable to help yourself, you find yourself watching. Following his movement, a line glistens on your skin.
As you see both his spiral and your bud tighten, he disappears for a moment before something hot and wet latches on to your other nipple. A gasp of shock, and pleasure escapes as you watch your nipple twist and pull, seemingly on its own.
Your attention held elsewhere, you're caught completely off guard when your legs are hoisted up and spread, a thick appendage rubbing and thrusting against you.
He pulls back slightly before you feel the head lineup. "Get ready, my sexy fucking breather," the voice purrs against your ear. "I'm about to rock your fucking world."
With that, he starts thrusting inside you, going-achingly slow, letting you adjust, feel every bump and ridge. Your hips try to thrust, to speed him up, but he stubbornly refuses.
Forfar too long, he teases you with his cock, setting a pace that's just fast enough to build you up, but its not enough to allow another orgasm.
Without conscience thought, you hear yourself mutter, "Please, please, please, please."
Unable to see him, you can't see his reaction, but you know your pleading is getting to him as he picks up his pace. You feel a hand slip between your bodies before you feel him start to play again, stroking you perfectly for your orgasm to start building in earnest.
As he grows more irratic, you start seeing him almost shimmering into existance, almost like a mirage.
The first thing you notice is his bright fuscia hair, then you catch the gleam of his fangs, before your eyes slam shut as your orgasm chrests. Beetlejuice lets out a tremendous growl as you dench around him.
The fangs you had just noticed are buried in your neck as he roars out his climax, his cum shooting deep inside you.
Your hands fall to his hair as your ragged breathing mixes. In an instant the hard wall at your back is replaced by the softness of your bed and you feel the amazing weight of your undead boyfriend against you.
Not only did he effectively get you to bed, he also cleaned you when he did, letting you relax for a moment and process.
"Was that good for you?" he asks, sounding much softer and more like himself.
"Fuck yeah!" is your immediate response before you turn and capture his lips, pouring all your love into the embrace. "You were and are absolutely perfect."
His hair seems to glow in the darkness, showing you his contentment. "So, should we add I. H. N. F. T. to our routine?" he asks.
"I. H. N. F. T.?" you shoot back, brows wrinkled.
"You know, Invisible Happy Naked Fun Time."
A chuckle escapes you, and all you can say is, "God, I love you."
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Stupid bug.
inspired by: gayarsonist: oh to be pinned against a wall by my arch nemesis who i am secretly pining for and smirk insolently up at them while fantasizing about kissing them and being kissed back as they lean forward until our noses are almost touching to whisper threats which are meant to intimidate me but only turn me on more in my ear
~~~~~~~~
GOD i love enemies to lovers it’s just so MMMMMMMMMMMMMMm
Surprise! a chapter book.
CHAPTER -1-
(Y/N) got up lazily, stretching and swinging her legs over the bed. Immediately, she noticed the cold wet feeling beneath her feet. She groaned and looked down, water. Fucking water. She felt a drop hit her knee and she looked up, to see a pipe had sprung a leak, then she heard a crash from the attic. “Of course.” she thought to herself, before grabbing her robe and wrapping it tightly around her.
She remembered when she met the dumb bug, she was moved in and trying to relax in her new home, when he came running out of the kitchen screaming with her old dog in tow. It’s been years, her dog since passed away, beej unable to go really anywhere else other than the neitherworld. So they were stuck like this, her hating him since day one, and him returning the favor, usually when she saw him he had an impish smirk and red through his hair. She suspected that would be the sight to greet her if she could just get the damned door...got it. The door swung open with an uneasy creak, but it was dead silent. She looked around the space and deemed it safe to come in. Beej jumped out at her, yelling loudly, scaring her pale as she slapped him by reflex. the playful pink in his hair turned red and he glared daggers at her. “Damn toots, didn’t expect ya to hit that hard.” she slowly caught her breath before glaring back at him and remembering why she came up here in the first place. “WHAT did you break?? There’s a leak downstairs IN MY ROOM. And-” He held his hand up to her mouth to silence her before sniffing curiously around the room. And off he went, searching for whatever he thought he smelled. (Y/N) could only fume silently, she saw a book and without thinking she threw it at him, she was fed up, she hated him so much, she...He caught it without even looking and turned his head around slowly to glare at her. she began backing up to the door but it slammed shut and jammed firmly in place. She rattled the doorknob but to no avail, he slowly inched closer, dropping the book completely before reaching for her. He grabbed her chin with a surprisingly gentle grip and he stared at her. Before she could realize it, she was crying, she was stressed. She couldn’t afford to fix a broken pipe right now, especially from how old the house was. Beej’s hair melted from red, to yellow. He was anxious. He backed off. The door opened.
On her way back down the stairs she stiffened, why did they argue so much? he never did anything to make her hate him. He was crude, sure. But she really had no reason, in fact she had grown rather fond of his presence and became concerned whenever it was quiet. She brushed the thoughts away, she had more to be concerned about, specifically that her horrid roommate was having a party tonight and it was a, and she quotes, “Party formal” event. God only knows what he meant by that. She just grumbled and went about the rest of her day, of course when beej got the booze out, HER booze. She knew. She knew he would pitch an angry fit if she didn’t change into something “Party formal”. She knew the next long hours would be spent being hit on by long dead dukes and pirates. She knew, if she tried to fight one of them, it’d either end with the house on fire, or beej laughing at said duke or pirate for getting beat up by a breather. So, (Y/N) grumpily dressed herself, but as she was looking in her mirror, a devious smirk played across her lips as a thought came to mind. She ran to her closet and grabbed her favorite dress, black, short, and just enough cleavage to make ANYONE do a double take. And off she went to the party. As she walked down the stairs beej snapped up to look at her, hair tinting an electric magenta as he stared. “You okay, bug?” (Y/N) questioned. Beej could only mumble and adjust himself, and go back to pouring drinks for people.
Shots with Shakespeare, who’d know. She also accidentally ate a weed brownie, which beej thought was hilarious. But it was only when she was officially tipsy, that he noticed something. She was actually kinda nice. Vulgar, but nice. Many things were learned that night. First off, (Y/N) became existential after four drinks. And secondly, Beej was very worried for her safety after six drinks. He tried not to show it, but he was worried. He was especially concerned when he saw one of his old college buddies getting a bit too friendly with her. The way he complimented her, looked at her with a smile that could only be described as predatory. It made his hair go red. He butt in halfway through the conversation. “Hey (Y/N), walk with me a bit, let’s go get you some water.” He was greeted with her protesting whine, but she went anyways. Beej had an iron grip on her arm, it almost hurt. The pace at which they were moving, she felt dizzy, the room started to spin, the last thing she noticed before she blacked out was the blue fading into Beetlejuice’s hair as she fell to the floor.
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice+x+reader#beetlejuice x you#beetlejuice smut#beetlejuice x reader#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice-x-reader
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Zhuk (Mafia Beej!AU The Conglomerate) x F!Reader: Homecoming
Well my dears, it has been awhile. My first semester of grad school is about to come to a close and I feel bad that I haven’t written in so long. So, I decided to post a commission I wrote a WHILE ago for @yankyo, starring everyone’s favorite Russian mafia man, Zhuk. I hope you all enjoy it!
P.S. I usually tag these fics with beetlejuice stuff since these boys are based off of Beetlejuice and share traits with him and stuff, but if people think I shouldn’t, let me know. I wouldn’t wanna clog the tags with stuff people don’t want to see, but I wanna make sure the people that do wanna read it can find it easily. If anyone has any suggestions or anything, I’m all ears!
WARNING: NSFW. Rough sex, brat taming, anal sex, dirty talk, slight degradation/humiliation, aftercare. MINORS DNI
The mirror reflected a devious picture come one warm, muggy, infuriatingly quiet night at the estate. Her gaze traveled up her reflection, starting at her feet clad in strappy black heels that she still managed to be short in despite their impressive height. Her legs looked absolutely incredible in her favorite pair of fishnet stockings, held in place by the garters connected to her lacy black panties that perfectly cupped her ass. Paired with a black leather chest harness that fully exposed her breasts and a matching collar adorned with silver chains that dripped luxuriously across her skin, she looked like every straight man with a pulse’s wet dream. She turned slowly, looking herself over carefully for any imperfections. If tonight was to go as she had planned it, she needed to be perfect, not for her husband, but for herself.
Her husband. She couldn’t help but scowl as the memory of him leaving her for a business trip entered her mind, a curt kiss on the forehead the only goodbye she received from him before he was off, chattering away in Russian on his phone as if she didn’t exist. It was the third time that month that he’d left her to rush off to Europe on some important business he refused to tell her about, and tonight was the night he was due to arrive home. The others had kept her company, of course, but they all could tell how much his supposed disregard for her had gotten under her skin, and far be it from them to tell her how to feel. They did what they could, keeping her occupied and loved with time spent drowning in liquor and laughter, but they all knew that there was nothing they could do to replace the attention of Zhuk while he was away. But tonight...well, tonight that attention was going to be all for her.
With a smirk, she turned away from the mirror, striding confidently out of her bedroom and down the empty hall. The others had retreated to their rooms for the night, knowing full well what hell would likely be unleashed upon them if they dared to interrupt her master plan. The only sound that accompanied her was the satisfying click of her stilettos on the stairs as she descended into the foyer, momentarily surprised that not even Bajo had snuck out of his room for a quick look at her all dolled up. Her thoughts were quickly dispelled at the sound of the magnificent front doors being unlocked, quickly swinging open to reveal none other than Zhuk...speaking rapidly on his cell phone in Russian.
It took everything in her not to scream at the top of her lungs as he sped past the foyer and into the kitchen after only briefly meeting her gaze, not even sparing her a second glance as he barked unhappily in his native tongue. Whoever was on the other end must’ve been getting an earful, but Y/N simply couldn’t give two shits what they were being scolded for. Here she was, standing in the middle of the room with her fucking tits out, and her husband didn’t even notice, too wrapped up in his business like he always was. She could feel the frustrated tears building in her eyes, suddenly feeling utterly ridiculous for planning all of this in the first place if he wasn’t even going to care enough to spare her a passing glance. Before she could continue spiraling into self-pity, she heard a soft gasp from her left and looked up to see Zhuk, cell phone held loosely in hand and his mouth agape at the sight of her. If anything, his delayed reaction only served to anger her more, feelings of inadequacy and loneliness and sadness swirling around in her stomach as his gaze shamelessly raked up and down her body.
“Moya zhena,” he sighed wistfully, pocketing his cell phone and taking a few steps closer to where she stood at the base of the stairs. “You are...could this all be for me?” At that, she scowled, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“It could’ve been,” she snapped, not even finding it in her to care when he flinched at her angry tone. “But you’ll probably just be too busy, right? Maybe I should book you another plane ticket back to Moscow, since you’ll just ignore me while you’re here anyway.” Zhuk paused, seemingly taking in everything she’d said and trying to determine what to do next, but the long silence made Y/N shift uncomfortably where she stood, suddenly feeling far too exposed as she used her hands to cover herself.
“...Darling, where is this coming from?” he asked slowly, though she could hear him struggling to maintain his patience with her outburst. No, no, he didn’t get to be angry, because now it was her goddamn turn to be pissed at him and she wasn’t going to let him take that from her, not for a second.
“What do you care?” she spat, reaching down to angrily undo her heels and slip out of them, tossing them carelessly to the side before covering herself up again. “Sooner or later, you’ll just be gone again, or you’ll come back and be too busy with your phone to notice your wife is in fucking lingerie, so do us both a favor and just get it over with now so I don’t have be disappointed again!” And with that, she spun on her heel and ran back up the stairs, ignoring the sound of his heavy footfall behind her as she rushed back to her room and slammed the door behind her, quickly locking it and sliding down the wood, sitting herself on the ground and trying to maintain her composure despite Zhuk quickly pounding on the door.
“Y/N, let me in!” he demanded, trying to keep his voice as gentle as he could but goddammit, he was stressed and tired and this wasn’t what he was expecting to come home to, even if it was his fault for being so busy. .
“Bite me!” she called back, not even caring how much trouble she’d likely land herself in for being so disrespectful. She was hurt, she was angry, and she didn’t give two flying fucks about him or his rules. She heard him snarl under his breath and smirked victoriously, suddenly growing more confident knowing that she could get under his skin. “Well, you could’ve, if you hadn’t been fucking blind.”
“I will break down this door,” he growled, tugging aggressively at the doorknob to no avail. “You know damn well that your anger does not excuse bad behavior. Now be a good girl and let me in.”
She was tempted, for a moment. Perhaps he’d apologize, hold her close, treat her right, the way he should’ve from the very beginning...but did she want to give in that easily? After all he put her through, didn’t he deserve to have to fight for what he wanted? Didn’t he deserve to wait as long as he made her wait? ...She couldn’t, could she? But hearing his frustrated muttering in Russian and his impatient pacing in front of her door...her decision was already made. She crawled away from the door to settle at the base of her bed, facing the door with her back against the edge of the mattress and slowly spreading her legs. Her fingers dipped below the waistband of her panties and down towards her pussy, and the hiss of pleasure she let out as she began to circle her clit got Zhuk quiet, his pacing coming to an abrupt halt.
“...What are you doing?” he asked, his voice hushed like the calm before a storm. She replied only with a soft moan. “Y/N, what are you doing?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she replied cheekily, her words cutting off with a soft gasp because fuck, this felt so good. She hadn’t let any of the others touch her while Zhuk was away, never finding herself quite in the mood for that kind of distraction, so it had been several days without this kind of touch and as badly as she wanted it from him, teasing him while he was helpless to stop her was simply sublime.
“Think carefully now, dragotsennyy,” he growled, once again pawing uselessly at the door once more before pushing away from it with a frustrated snarl. “You can’t hide in there forever, and if you keep this up, I swear on the motherland that you will wish you were never born.”
A shiver ran through her at the way he growled his threats at her, but the longer she got away with it, the more powerful she felt. There he was, an incredibly powerful demon that could break her in half with one hand if he wanted to, and he was at her mercy. The pleasure swirled together with the self-satisfaction to have her throwing her head back with laughter interspersed with pleasured gasps.
“I already wish I was never born, that’s not much of a threat!” she retorted teasingly, letting one finger dip down to circle her entrance before pressing inside her. She moaned loudly, putting on as much of a show for her poor husband as she could. “Fuck, it feels so good! Don’t you wish it was you inside me, muzh? Oh well, too bad.”
She quickly slipped another finger inside her, losing herself to the satisfaction of knowing that she was winning...she thought. But Zhuk was being strangely quiet. No pounding on the door, no jiggling the doorknob, not even a swear in Russian beneath his breath. It’s almost as if he’d left...but he wouldn't have. Not now, not again. She paused her ministrations, listening intently for any sign of hi-
CRASH.
In an instant, she was lifted off of the floor, her husband’s hand wrapped firmly around her throat with her toes just barely scraping the ground. She gripped uselessly at his ironclad grip, struggling against him to no avail. His hair was a wild mixture of burning crimson and vibrant magenta, though his eyes were all anger, smoldering with an ire that was just ready to ignite. Her eyes traveled behind him, where she saw the remains of her door, hanging pathetically from its hinges.
“I did tell you I would break down the door,” he said darkly. She couldn’t respond, not with his grip around her throat supporting her entire body weight- she gasped desperately for air when he dropped her to the floor, landing solidly on her knees at his feet. “Now...we’re going to try this again. Was this all for me, malen'kiy?”
Y/N stared up at him defiantly, keeping her mouth firmly shut despite knowing that there was no way he’d let her get away with it. Indeed, it only took a few seconds of petulant silence for him to tangle his fingers tightly in her hair, tugging harshly and wrenching a yelp from her throat.
“Fine,” he spat, using his free hand to quickly undo his belt and lower his zipper, freeing his cock from the confines of his underwear. “I’ll put your mouth to better use, then.” He let go of her hair, but far from showing her mercy, he instead thrust his fingers into her mouth, prying it open forcefully before guiding his cock past her lips, groaning with satisfaction as he pushed himself all the way down her throat, stopping only when her nose was nestled firmly against his groin. He held her there until her eyes began to tear, but she held firm, keeping herself from gagging despite the impressive length of him pushing so far into her throat that her neck bulged. Finally, after far too long, he pulled back, giving her only a moment to rest before picking up a brutal pace, fucking her face as if it were only a toy. The feeling of his cock repeatedly plunging down her throat sent her mind spinning, and despite the defiance she so desperately clung to, she could feel the comfortable weight of submission slowly beginning to settle over her. She held still like a good girl, keeping her teeth back and mouth as wide open as she could no matter how badly her jaw ached. The longer he fucked her face like this, the more desperately she desired to be his perfect girl, her brattiness momentarily seeping out of her in favor of obedience. She missed this. Below her anger was a longing that caused her to miss him so terribly that she ached, and even if he was punishing her for her misbehavior, at least he was here. At least she was his. And there it was, the pleasant fuzziness that came with her submission, just on the edges of her awareness as he clutched desperately at her hair and took her mouth with utter brutality. She would be lucky if her throat didn’t ache come tomorrow morning.
“Kakaya khoroshaya shlyukha, berushchaya moy chlen,” he snarled, letting himself have only a few more seconds of her mouth before pulling out completely, still holding her by the hair while he frantically stroked his cock. “Mouth open, tongue out.”
She obeyed, as if she had much of a choice, her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her eyes slipping shut as she waited for, there it was, the warm feeling of his cum sticking to her skin, some landing on her exposed tongue but also clinging to her lips and even the tip of her nose. Knowing better than to swallow without permission, she held herself still, opening her eyes to watch the tail end of his orgasm before meeting his gaze obediently, allowing him to enjoy the sight of her covered in his cum. And enjoy it he did, taking several seconds to paint a mental picture of his wife marked so perfectly before letting go over her hair and moving to remove his pants. “Clean yourself up,” he commanded almost carelessly.
She obeyed immediately, swallowing what was already on her tongue before using her fingers to clean the rest from her face, swallowing it dutifully. As she came back to herself after such an intense experience, her desire for revenge mixed with her overwhelming need to submit to his control as well as oil and vinegar. She wanted him to take her until she didn’t even remember why she was angry, but she also wanted to send him packing for ruining her perfect plans, and she wasn’t sure which desire was stronger.
“On the bed,” he commanded, striding over to toss any extra decorative pillows to the floor. Her opposing desires swirled angrily in her mind, but despite the fuzziness at the edges of her vision that so often came with her willing submission, she stayed put, staring defiantly down at the ground. When Zhuk realized she had no intention of moving, he strode over to her slowly, now fully nude and his cock already beginning to reharden.
“Is this the game you would like to play tonight, moya zhena?” he asked, his voice heavy with the weight of his dominance. She shivered at his tone, but held her tongue, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her perfect obedience. “Because I have no problem with reminding you whose orders you’re meant to obey. Or have I left you alone so long that you’ve forgotten?”
Her scowl only grew at the reminder that yes, he had left her alone too long, so this is exactly what he deserved. If he wanted her, he was going to have to be a big boy and take her.
“Here are your options, dragotsennyy,” he said, almost too calmly. “You can obey me, as you are meant to, and climb willingly onto your bed. Or I could drag you up by the hair. Which will it be?”
Knowing this may be her last chance to speak, she lifted her head to smile petulantly at him, using every last ounce of brattiness left in her.
“I’ll take what’s behind Door Number 2.”
A man of his word, he fisted her hair with a snarl, showing no mercy as he dragged her up off the floor and onto her bed, paying no mind to her yelps of pain as he tossed her unceremoniously onto the mattress. He wasn’t far behind, pressing her down against the pillows and letting one hand trail tantalizingly down her body.
“You dressed up so pretty for me, dorogoy,” he crooned in her ear, giving the lobe a nip. “It’s a shame you won’t get to wear this again.”
Before she could even protest, he was on a rampage, tearing into her panties with a feral snarl and ripping them off her body with his teeth, setting the ruined garment aside to reveal her pussy, already dripping wet and ready for him. But he wasn’t done. He gripped tightly at her stockings, tearing them to shreds with inhuman strength and littering the bed with tiny scraps of fishnets. Deciding to show a sliver of mercy, he undid her harness rather than tear it off her and tossed it aside, leaving her completely bare and soaking wet for him. She grumbled under her breath knowing some of her favorite garments were ruined, but she couldn’t think about that, not when Zhuk was roughly wrenching her thighs apart and trailing his fingers between her folds, gathering her slick on the tips of his fingers with a hum.
“Aww, and to think you acted so tough,” he mused, chuckling to himself when she shivered at his touch. “Would you like to see how wet you are for me, moya zhena?”
Expecting his fingers, she balked when he reached for her ruined panties, having soaked them through from how wet she became from getting her face fucked. Zhuk balled them up and, not willing to wait for her to open her mouth, wrenched her lips open with two fingers pressing down on her tongue, quickly replacing them with her soiled panties and giving her a quick slap to her cheek for good measure, leaving behind a trail of her spit. She yelped around her panties, already tasting just how wet she’d become from the beginning of her punishment and blushing darkly at the shame of it all. Satisfied, Zhuk moved back down her body, pulling her thighs apart roughly to reveal her dripping pussy and sighing at the sight of it, aching for him to just slide inside of her. But...he had a better idea.
“I don’t think I want to fuck such a slutty pussy,” he mused to himself, though it didn’t stop him from running his thumb between her folds and chuckling when she struggled to keep herself from whining in protest. “Aww, does my little brat want me inside her? Don’t fret, malenk’iy, you’ll still have me…” He trailed off, dragging his slick-soaked fingers up to circle the puckered rim of her ass. Realizing what he meant, she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a long, low moan, arching her ass up and grinding back against his teasing touch. Still, he kept it light, just barely circling her entrance with the tips of his fingers. “...but only if you beg.”
Fuck. She growled under her breath in frustration, her panties already growing more soaked from her saliva. How did he expect her to beg with her panties in her mouth? Thinking about it for a moment, her cheeks grew red as she realized what he wanted, but...there was nothing that would keep her from having him inside her.
“Please…” she whined, her words muffled as she struggled to speak around the lace filling her mouth.
“What’s that? I can’t hear you, shlyuka.”
“Please, muzh, I want you…”
“Louder!”
“Please!” she yelled around her gag, blushing furiously at the sound of her muffled words. Still, it seemed to be enough for Zhuk, as he hummed in satisfaction to himself and quickly plunged one finger inside of her, hissing at the feeling of her tight walls clenching around him. She gasped loudly, trailing off to a reedy whine as she ground back on his finger, already desperate for more. He plunged his finger in and out of her before quickly adding another, spreading them apart to get her nice and stretched for him. A steady stream of whines and moans fell from her lips, muffled only slightly by her panties as the tips of his fingers stroked at her sensitive walls. When he thought she’d had enough, he pulled them out, cooing almost condescendingly at the way she whined in protest.
“Patience, dorogoy,” he said almost mockingly, reaching into the bedside table to pull out a bottle of lube and quickly getting himself slicked up for her. “Or is my little slut truly that desperate for me?”
She couldn’t deny it. That fuzziness on the fringe of her vision had grown, her submission fully settling over her enough that she was desperately needy for him. She would crawl on her hands and knees across the entire estate just to have his cock inside her. She settled down onto her elbows, making sure her ass was presented for him, and kept silent, not wanting to speak unless he truly asked her to. From now on, he was in control.
“That’s what I thought,” he growled, quickly lining his cock up with her entrance. “Deep breath for me now, kotenok…”
She inhaled deeply, and when he finally began to push inside of her, she released it with a desperate moan. Fuck, the stretch was perfect, his cock practically splitting her in half as he slid inside her without mercy, not stopping for a single second until he was fully hilted inside her, his hips pressed firmly up against her ass.
“That’s it, there’s my good girl,” he hissed, struggling to keep himself still. He may have had to show her her place, but he still cared enough for her wellbeing not to start rutting her without giving her a moment to adjust. He leaned down, pressing the length of his chest to her back and whispering directly in her ear as he slowly began to move his hips. “This is what happens to naughty little brats who disobey. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” she moaned around her gag, grinding back against his cock to encourage him to just take her. He gave in, starting up a quick, hard rhythm that had the headboard slamming against the wall with each thrust, but God, it wasn’t enough. “Please, harder!”
“Ohhhh no,” he growled, keeping his pace just shy of where she desperately needed it to be. “I don’t reward bad behavior, shlyuka. You want it that badly? Then I better hear you say you’re sorry.”
If he’d asked her to 20 minutes ago, he would’ve been met with stony silence, but now, he’d so expertly taken down her walls and sent her so deep into subspace that she couldn’t stop herself if she tried.
“I’m sorry!” she cried out, trying in vain to grind back harder against the cock that she needed so badly. “I’m sorry I was bad, I’m sorry I teased you, please, just-ah!”
There it was. Hearing those magic words, Zhuk simply snarled and buried his face into her neck, finally reaching the pace she craved. Every thrust inside her was like heaven, every nerve in her body alight with pleasure as her husband growled obscenities into her ear, taking her like an animal in heat. This, this was what she needed all goddamn week.
“There’s my good girl,” he moaned directly into her ear, tangling his fingers in her hair just to wrench her head back to expose her neck. “Are you going to cum for me?”
Desperately, she nodded, reaching down to circle her fingers around her clit. Immediately, Zhuk slapped her hand away, replacing it with his own and pulling desperate yet muffled cries from her lips. Fuck, so close, just a little more-
“Cum for me,” he growled. “Let me feel my good little slut cum around my cock.”
That was it. Her body gave in to the command, her orgasm rushing over her like a wave of heat hitting every nerve in her body, a desperate scream wrenching from her throat as she trembled in his arms. Zhuk fucked her through it, grunting with each thrust before reaching his own climax, spilling into her with a quiet groan. Out of breath, shaky, and blissed out beyond belief, Y/N collapsed onto the mattress, barely even feeling when Zhuk pulled out of her, his cum rushing hotly down her pussy and onto the mattress. Ignoring it completely, he moved up to pull her into his arms, letting her rest against his broad chest. He doted on her as much as he could, guiding her soaked panties out of her mouth and tossing them aside before pressing a soft kiss to her lips and petting her hair, just wanting her to know that he was there. Slowly, she came back to herself, her eyes sliding open to see her husband smiling softly down at her.
“Are you alright now, moya lyubov?” he asked softly. With a smile, she nodded, nuzzling into him lovingly. When he sighed almost despondently, she looked back up at him with concern, finding remorse shining in his eyes. “You were right. I’ve been neglecting you too much lately, and I promise you that I won’t be rushing off on a business trip any time soon. That didn’t give you an excuse to misbehave, but I’m sorry that I made you feel as if you had to act out to get my attention.” With a soft smile, Y/N leaned up to kiss his cheek, nuzzling against him before settling back on his chest.
“Apologize again to me in the morning,” she said, her words interrupted with a yawn. “I might’ve forgotten by then...”
And with that, she drifted off to sleep, comforted by the fact that finally, finally, her husband was home.
#beetlejuice smut#beetlejuice#beetlejuice fic#beetlejuice fanfic#beetlejuice fanfiction#beetlejuice nsft#beetlejuice x reader#beetlejuice/reader#zhuk#zhuk x reader#zhuk/reader#zhuk shoggoth#the conglomerate
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I saw your posts for Lydia X Wednesday, what are you hcs for meeting the family?? :D
My good friend, thank you for your ask! I absolutely adore Lydsday/Black Wednesday so I’m overjoyed to answer this (I am still working on your other ask, however I’m still in the homework stage with it). So, meeting the family!
The Addams family:
I strongly believe that Wednesday is the first to invite Lydia home to meet her family, rather than Lydia inviting Wednesday to Deetz-Maitland home (because... well, what if she freaks out about the ghosts and demons and decides she no longer likes her and doesn’t want to see her again and then she’ll be alone— well, no matter how unlikely it seems, you get the idea)
Lydia takes one look at the Addams family home and just HAS to take a picture. So now she has a framed photograph of Wednesday stood next to the wrought iron gates at the foot of the hill on which her home is situated (it’s her favourite photograph). And let’s be honest, she positively beams at Gate when it opens for her, even stroking one of its bars in gratitude.
Okay but THE FOGHORN BELL. Lydia can’t help but giggle at it (and Wednesday nearly swoons) in its full glory. It’s here that she meets Lurch, and suddenly she no longer thinks Wednesday would mind Beetlejuice nor the Maitlands very much. He offers to take her veil and she compliments his wonderful sneer.
Lydia offers her hand to Gomez to be shaken, but instead her takes in and drags her into a hug instead. She’s like “this is fine ;-;” as she suffocates in his lapel and affection. He proceeds to nearly shake her arm off. Gomez shows a lot of enthusiasm for her photography, despite knowing nothing about himself, and is most taken with her more gloomy pictures. He buys a copious amount of them from her for prices she cannot even begin to fathom (“I’ll buy this for fifty thousand dollars!”; “Mr Addams, please that’s—“; “Not enough! You’re right, how stingy I’m being for such magnificence, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!”). Lydia gets ambushed every time she enters the house by a moustached man and his sabre. He intends for her to “be able to protect yourself from harm, now you’re part of the clan”. Gomez definitely plans their wedding.
I think Morticia is more the type to compliment Lydia by singing her praises to Wednesday instead. She’ll say things like “What a woefully gloomy young woman you’ve found here, Wednesday,” to express her approval. Morticia is the kind to give Lydia the “hurt her and perish by the hands of our family” talk but Lydia responds adequately (unlike Fester in The Addams Family) and Morticia warms to her then. Morticia, Wednesday and Lydia all attend tea and seances every full moon.
Gomez and Morticia end up making out (naturally) and Wednesday’s like “we’re leaving, bye” and drags her from the room.
Pugsley drops in with some form of torture device (as an excuse because he wanted to meet the new girl) and is like “oh hi” before trying to convince Wednesday and her “girlfriend” to play Is There A God? with him. Well, at “girlfriend” Wednesday begins to chew him out with carefully chosen words honed to such a sharp precision they could make one bleed. Lydia watches with amusement for a while before eventually cutting in with how “there isn’t a God but there’s certainly a Netherworld.”
OKAY BUT LYDIA AND THING GET ON LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE. Wednesday was most afraid of their introduction in case it was a little too much but Thing’s spritely personality matches Lydia’s penchant for mischief almost perfectly. If anything, there was more to fear AFTER they met than before.
Faster and Grandmama are only met on her second visit to the Addams’ residence (and so are Gomez’ swords “All good woman must learn how to weild a sabre!”)
The Deetz-Maitland family:
This visit no doubt comes straight off of the back of their visit to the Addams’ residence before Lydia can chicken out. She begs everybody to be on their best behaviour and just... try. For her, for one night (like One Normal Night from the musical but opposite). Obviously nobody adheres to it.
Charles and Delia are the first to be greeted once they’re in the door and Lydia has taken Wednesday’s coat. Both Charles and Delia have a moment like “OH NO. NOW THERE’S ANOTHER ONE” but Charles is better at hiding it. He introduces them with all of the businessman charm he can muster, meanwhile Delia is clutching onto her crystal for dear life. All of this very much pleases Wednesday. Not to mention, you can definitely expect her and Charles to hit it off about business. Wednesday doesn’t mind at all talking about her father’s shares in the lint industry. (And she definitely tells Delia about black magic and the negative opposite of the energies she embraces to freak her out make conversation)
Lydia is SO RELIEVED that Wednesday can see the Maitlands, and Wednesday is fascinated by their condition
Adam introduces Wednesday to the realm of dad jokes. She is not amused; he makes it his mission to get her to laugh/smile at AT LEAST one of his jokes. Wednesday is fascinated by how tangible and corporeal the Maitlands’ spectral form is and ends up discussing it for hours with Adam (since all of the seances she’s attended have been calling upon invisible spirits)
Barbara goes full on MomModeTM on Lydia. She tells Wednesday all the humiliating stories she knows about Lydia (Wednesday files away the “strange and unusual” comment for future teasing, as Lydia blushes). Of course she compliments Wednesday in all of her woe and how well she suits Lydia. Not to mention how happy she’s made her adopted daughter (cue even more blushing from Lydia). OKAY BUT PHOTO ALBUM TIME.
@gothic-but-will-fight-u and I headcanoned that the Maitlands totally dig out the photo album (Wednesday WILL see the customary picture of baby Lydia’s first bath whether they like it or not) but they know every page that has painful memories for Lydia to skip. Then a picture slips out and... there’s a sadness to Lydia that gets addressed when Wednesday excuses them to go to her bedroom. Cue a retelling of the events of Beetlejuice from when her mom became her dead mom.
Which, naturally, leads us onto the ghost with the most himself: BEETLEJUICE! My goodness the two couldn’t be more opposite and there’s immediate tension between the two. “You’re the one who’s stealing my best friend, huh? You’re smaller than I’d anticipated.”; “So you’re the demon who tried to marry my underage girlfriend, huh? You remember the pain you felt when you died? What if I told you I could triple that and make your afterlife into a deathly Hell. Consider it a threat and a promise.”; “Firstly, it was a green card thing. Secondly, I like this one, Lyds. Where’d you find her?” Lydia proudly proclaiming she found her in the cemetery. Wednesday and Beej have a relationship where they love to hate one another: both know Lydia would be unhappy without one of them, but they doesn’t stop them trying to mutilate one another.
#sapien asks#sapien rambles#lydia deetz#wednesday addams#black wednesday#lydsday#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice broadway#beetlejuice the broadway musical#betelgeuse#delia deetz#charles deetz#adam maitland#barbara maitland#the maitlands#the addams family#the addams family musical#the addams family values#addams family#gomez and morticia#gomez addams#morticia addams#pugsley addams#lurch#thing#fester addams#grandma addams#lydia x wednesday#wednesday x lydia
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Associates with Benefits
Secret Santa on our discord server matched me with the fabulous @strange-n-unbluusual, which made me giddy.
NSFW. That’s all I’m gonna say.
Enjoy!
`
“You? What’re you doing here?!”
Out of anyone, anywhere in the Nether- or upper world, Beetlejuice never thought he’d lay eyes on him again.
“I’d ask the same of you, but I’m fairly sure I know the answer.”
From his seat on the trunk by the window, the specter scoffed and shook his head, although he didn’t take his eyes off the other man.
“Jesus. You still scamming people? Life coach or crystal whisperer or whatever? Or are you back to trying to get your sex cult up and running again?”
Otho--he never took the time to legally change his name, but like he told his clients, “if you believed in something enough, it can become your reality”--matched the scoff and straightened to an imposing height. He always was taller.
“The sex cult only worked with your help,” he admitted begrudgingly, “and you know it, Beetlejuice.”
A quick flash of pink rippled through the specter’s hair and he shivered. He couldn’t disguise either semi-pleased reaction to his name spoken aloud. More importantly, did he want to?
“So what’s the con this time, big guy?”
Otho rolled his eyes and opened his jacket enough to find a silver cigarette case tucked into the inside pocket. He took his time extracting a cigarette, paused, then offered one to the house’s uninvited guest he’d found in the attic. Beetlejuice took it, lit it with a flame that originated on his fingertip, and gestured Otho closer.
The man agreed without a word, but instead of using flame to light his smoke, Beetlejuice leaned in close enough for the tips to meet.
Amber eyes held more the humanly brown, and Otho sucked slightly on the cigarette between his lips to light it. Only once it caught did Beetlejuice move back.
“I was hired to cleanse this house of some distinctive poltergeist activity,” he finally answered.
Beetlejuice grinned. True to form, Otho never used the word ‘con.’ The man may be a shyster, but he was full of himself. Beetlejuice could respect that, being a confident hustler himself.
“That wasn’t me.”
Otho lifted an eyebrow. “Oh no?”
“Shit no. Moving chairs around? Knocking on walls? That’s haunting 101. Baby ghost antics, like that pansy white bread couple, what’s their name--”
“You know their names. The Maitlands.”
When he wasn’t overwhelmed by a demon raging beyond reason, Otho never hesitated to call him out.
“Right. The Maitlands. How’re they doing? And the rest of the Scooby gang?” He took in a lungful of smoke then dropped his gaze as if he was suddenly very interested in the cigarette, examining it as if trying to read the brand on the paper in the pale moonlight filtering through the attic window.
“I wouldn’t know. Someone strapped me to a Wheel of Death and kicked me into some weird limbo where I had to claw my way back to the upper world. I ended up in Iowa, for christ’s sake!”
Beetlejuice chuckled, but choked it back when he saw the angry expression on the other’s face. “Hey man, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you were going to end up in the midwest! I was angry, and you know that sometimes things get a little out of control when I’m angry.”
Otho gave him a dead-eyed stare in response. Taking a second to center himself, he decided to follow the advice from that one movie and let it go. He wished he could’ve laid claim to that phrase without sounding like he was parrotting a kid’s movie; it was a good one: simple and seemingly easy to follow.
More calmly, he returned to an earlier part of the conversation. “So I have no clue how any of them are getting on. You spent more time with them, why don’t you tell me?”
Automatically Beetlejuice’s free hand went to the center of his chest. It was a habit that he found hard to break, running his fingers over the knobby scar he’d gotten as a reminder of the whole bungled situation. It still physically pained him, and could be felt even through a layer of clothing. It still emotionally pained him, that betrayal that he didn’t want to admit he deserved.
“I don’t know either,” he whispered, and yanked his hand away from his chest.
The two of them stood in silence for a moment. Smoke drifted upwards in curlicues, looking bright white in the moonlight.
Otho hadn’t missed the involuntary movements and cleared his throat quietly. “I heard she hurt you.”
“Everybody hurts me.” He meant it say it snappy and full of wrath, but it came out weak.
The man’s reply was just as soft, and just was wounded. “I never did.”
Beetlejuice looked up again. Otho held his lit cigarette at his side and was watching him with an unreadable expression.
He tried to dredge up some righteous indignation. “You were going to put me in a soul box!”
“The soul box you gave me?” Otho replied drily. “The one that was particle board painted with some fancy iridescent paint you brought over from the Netherworld to look impressive? That soul box?”
He had no reply to that.
“Damn it. Beej--we almost had them! If we’d just stuck to the plan, it would have been free and clear, but--”
“But it was my fault, is that what you were going to say?! That once again I screwed the pooch, just like so many other times in my fucking existence?!”
“--but the girl threw a wretch in the works,” Otho continued firmly.
Beetlejuice both hated and loved that Otho was rarely rattled by his outbursts.
“She offered something you couldn’t pass up. I get it.”
He wanted to stay angry at the man. At least he could feel anger; it was one of the strongest emotions, but it always burnt itself out and left him exhausted and remorseful. Suddenly he just couldn’t hold onto the rage. He dropped his head.
The floorboards creaked and the man’s cologne washed over him. Blenheim Bouquet. The light spicy floral scent always seemed too gossamery for a man, but wasn’t the faint aroma of roses that followed him occasionally out of place as well? The cologne was so synonymous with Otho the specter couldn’t imagine him without it.
With his face still turned down, he watched a hand carefully curl into his striped lapel.
“I don’t blame you, Beej,” Otho said quietly.
He didn’t need to. He blamed himself.
After a beat with no reply, Otho continued, even more quietly. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too,” Beetlejuice admitted in such a whisper his voice would have been lost if they weren’t in a silent attic.
In a fluid movement Otho dropped his cigarette to the wooden floor and brought that hand to the specter’s jaw., He stepped forward to crush the smoldering smoke out and bring himself even closer, and as he lifted Beetlejuice’s face he pressed his open mouth against the ghost’s.
It felt like old times.
Beetlejuice breathed in, taking the warm air from Otho’s lungs, like a thirsty man in a desert. Oh, he’d missed that--
Otho broke the kiss once he’d run out of oxygen. He stayed close though, hand now fisted in his jacket. Beetlejuice wasn’t sure if that was to keep him from disappearing from literally right under his nose, or just because the man had a propensity for wrinkling clothing. As dapper as he liked to present himself, he had a thing for mussed clothing up, like creases were evidence of passion.
The only thing he could think to say was, “It feels different now that you have a beard.”
Jesus he was a dumbass.
Luckily, Otho didn’t seem to share his opinion. “I decided to grow it out because of yours. Do you like it?”
“I don’t know. Let me feel it again.”
With that ham-fisted invitation, Otho kissed him again. It grew this time--more of the old give and take, more tongue, more suction--as they fell back into the familiarity of it. When Otho had to stop for air this time, he was panting. Beetlejuice was the one to hold him close, now, to luxuriate in the breath.
With fingers made crass from a flood of arousal, Beetlejuice cupped and dug at the pants and its closure in front of him.
“My clients are downstairs,” Otho hissed, but didn’t make any move to step away or stop him.
“Then don’t be loud,” Beetlejuice advised, unhelpfully.
He’d managed to fight open Otho’s belt but the button was going to take two hands. He could just manipulate it free with a thought, but liked the tease of slightly frantic fumbling, and listening to Otho’s breath hitch as he did. He also liked finding that Otho still wore silk underwear. They felt nice, but provided no support against an erection. A wet spot, visible even in the frosty moonlight streaming through the window, marred the front of them.
He had an urge to put his mouth there, to make that wet spot bigger, but Otho’s fingers under his jaw turned him up upward again.
The man’s expression was unreadable once more.
Beetlejuice didn’t know if he was going to be shoved away to end this or shoved to the dusty attic floor with Otho on top of him. What he got instead, was another kiss, this one harder, more desperate than the ones before it, a pull to an upright position, and a hand at his groin too, with equal floundering of his fly and a almost inaudible curse as Otho had to push the striped jacket back and suspenders off the specter’s shoulders to assist getting him undressed.
In very little time, however, both of them had their pants pushed hurriedly to mid-thigh, and Beetlejuice had been hauled to his feet. He should have known that there was no way Otho was going go to the floor and let dust and grime get on his tailored trousers. So now they were pressed torso to torso, groin to groin, mouth to mouth, and this time Otho only took sips of air when his lungs absolutely demanded it.
Bumping his hips forward, the specter was rewarded with a low groan. His bigger reward was the man’s large hand wrapping simultaneously around both their cocks.
The heat and pressure made him gasp.
A further rutting into that hand to determine how much movement he was granted made Otho gasp.
“Clients. Downstairs,” he reminded him with a wicked grin.
Otho retorted, “Then don’t be loud!” in a strained whisper, and gave them both a pull just to test him.
That glorious warmth of his cock against another, of a hand stroking them both off--Beetlejuice moaned, checked himself, and buried his face in the other man’s neck to muffle himself. If he had his wits about him he’d make some comment about how moaning was going to be okay, this house was haunted after all, but the movement of Otho’s hand was shutting down his higher brain function.
Not only was he losing the ability to keep the noises he made quiet, his hips moved of their own accord. The specter rolled his pelvis upward, chasing each stroke. He wasn’t alone in that; Otho pushed into his own hand, creating a beautiful counter friction as well. The man’s free hand held him in the small of his back, under his untucked shirt, searing his cold skin with the warmth of his palm. He missed that rough handling to keep him in position so much. He clung to Otho’s shoulders.
It’d been a long time since they’d been together, but Otho quickly fell into a practiced rhythm that suited them both: long pulls, an occasional twist for variety, a bit of a squeeze to stave off coming too quickly.
Speaking of which--
Beetlejuice pried the fingers of one hand off Otho’s jacket and dropped it to the man’s fist. He meant to slow him down, meant to gasp in his ear to wait, give me a second baby, please--but the moment Otho loosened his grip to allow him to lace his tepid fingers between his, he wanted nothing more than to let pleasure take the bit between its teeth and have Otho follow quickly too. He wanted to be coated and smeared with the man’s come, and he wanted it now.
The combination of warm and chill, the doubling of pressure and friction pushed him higher and higher, closer to his end. A slight buckling of Otho’s knees made him hurriedly shift his other hand from his shoulder to his bare hip to help support him, and just as he wanted, Otho came in thick spurts over both their fists.
The heat and additional bit of slick it provided was enough to send him over the edge as well.
His cool release mingled with Otho’s, and for several moments they both simply leaned into one another. Beetlejuice would have stood there for an eon, soaking in as much warmth as he could. Otho was the one to gently start to move away.
They both groaned as they carefully relaxed their hands from their cocks. Otho made up for the fact that he was the first to move by capturing the Beetlejuice’s mouth again, swallowing his groans. He also dipped his hand lower to pinch the specter’s ass, earning himself a surprised gasp and a chuckle, and a nip to his lower lip in return.
Hobbled by his trousers, Otho had to dig for his handkerchief awkwardly. When he finally extracted it from a back pocket, he wiped his hand clean before offering it to Beetlejuice. He took it and cleaned himself as well, then stuck the square of cloth into his own pocket instead of handing it back.
There was no sound for a moment but the rustling of clothing and re-fastening of zippers and other closures. Otho was done before Beetlejuice, and stepped against the ghost immediately after he’d resituated his suspenders.
Before he could kiss him again, Beetlejuice said,
“I guess I like the beard.”
Otho snorted in amusement--so un-guru like!--and kissed him. It was lingering and soft, and felt like they’d never been apart.
It also felt like a good bye.
Beetlejuice steeled himself for another rejection as the man broke away again.
“Beetlejuice--”
He shuddered at his name spoken aloud again. He couldn’t help it. But here it comes--
“--I’m glad to see you again. But--|
Oh fuck. Here it comes--
“--we haven’t seen each other for so long. I just . . .”
Fuck his fucking un-life. He should just slink back into the Netherworld while Otho was searching for words.
“ . . . I just don’t . . . this is hard to say . . . ”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why was is so hard to leave? Why couldn’t he be the one to leave, instead of people leaving him?!
“You want to come with me, when I go?”
The words were spoken in a hushed rush, as if Otho just needed to blurt them out. It took Beetlejuice several embarrassing moments to comprehend them.
“Come with you?”
“Yes. I’ve been looking for you, you know . . .”
He didn’t know. He wouldn’t have thought! Suddenly, the future looked, well, maybe not bright per se, but at least not as dim.
He nodded, as if he had to reply as quickly as possible and didn’t trust words to be fast enough.
Otho smiled. “Good. You have to do something for me first, though.”
He didn’t even hesitate. “Anything, baby. You just name it.”
“You have to get rid of whatever is actually haunting this place. You know I’m garbage at all that stuff.”
Beetlejuice broke into laughter that probably echoed through the house, scaring the owners, but he didn’t care and knew Otho wouldn’t either. It’d just lend more credence to the man being able to banish spirits, just like the cons they used to pull back in the old days.
fin
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