As someone who has seen a lot of Columbo (and if you havent seen it, I would recommend it! its a pretty fun and neat show), he absolutely would tell you what's in your favorite foods. in his own "helpful" way of course. It's hard to describe how good of an avatar he actually is to anyone who hasn't seen it and I dont think I can do it justice, but ill give it a shot.

The way the show is structured has the first chunk of the show focusing on the murder itself. It's shown in depth, from the murderer, the motive, and all we'll (eventually) need to know as to how the murder is solved. The audience knows from the beginning who the killer(s) are. It's only then is Columbo introduced, and the "murder mystery" aspect of it is not the if the killer will be found out, but the when and the how. Because no matter how well they cover it up or how solid their alibi is, he will catch them. He always does.

Viewing all this as him being an avatar of the Eye makes more than enough sense. Hell, I'd argue it makes more sense than him just being a normal person. He's perspective to an unnatural degree, always seeming to know the particulars of what he'll need to catch them. One example I remember in particular is one where the TV executive kills someone for their job, and during the episode, Columbo learns about cues on film and the manual switches used for them (which is framed as a genuine interest, as he's shown to really like to learn about various occupations and the functionality of things), which is later crucial to destroying her alibi. Columbo always knows a bit too much, and it's hard to tell exactly when

Additionally, he doesn't need to let the killer in on what's going on with the case, he doesn't need to tell them he believes that accident that happened to their boss wasn't an accident or that they found a button on the crime scene that matches the jacket they happened have (which he knows, but he wont make an accusation yet). It's weird that he lets the killer squirm for so long before making the arrest, half the time tricking them into admitting it somehow even if he has the evidence to make an arrest. Another example that I remember is one where the woman had disguised herself and hid it under the facility's bathroom sink. She had come back to retrieve it, putting it her bag, and while talking to her, Columbo takes a weird interest in her bag, asking to hold it and making sure to look closely at. He says he's interested it for his wife, but it's like he knows, and he's just seeing how much he can push before the killer starts to push back. He doesn't know, obviously. There's no way for him to know the outfit is in there. Right?

Humor me for a minute here:

From the beginning, Columbo knows who the killer is. Out of all the suspects, he picks them out almost immediately and will latch on. Because they're already scared and paranoid about being found out. Even if they're 100% confidant in themselves, even if they believe they've gotten away with it and have a foolproof plan to succeed, there's always the what if in the back of their minds. And if it's not there yet? He'll put it there. He'll start off playing the role of the bumbling detective, be this harmless fool that they could easily outwit any day, have them get their confidence up and/or let their guard down, and then drop a strange little thing he's found at the crime scene, which is probably nothing and they don't need to worry about it, but it's a bit odd to find, isn't it? And then he'll do it again, under the guise of "catching them up on the case" (even if telling the suspect of a murder or even a loved one about the details of a murder is pretty counterproductive), and that seed of doubt gets worse. Then he might remind them of something they forgot; the gun hidden in the elevator hatch, the marks on the movie film, the broken watch's chimes, the book with their name on it. Things aren't adding up and he makes sure they know. He's subtle about it, never directly saying he knows what they've done, but an offhand comment or two makes all the difference (one time, he had laid in the same way the victim had commonly done, right down to the way he held the book). He takes that fear and paranoia naturally built and gradually, bit by bit, makes it worse until they've consumed by it. They start to frantic, sloppy, trying to cover up their mistakes and then he'll confront them. Not straight up arrest them, but bring up every piece of evidence that'll destroy their stories and ruin their alibis. More often than not, he'll trick them to saying something that will, inevitably, be an admission of guilt. And then, reeling with the devastation of being caught and having their entire lives fall apart, he'll arrest them.

The show isn't about finding out who the killer is, but rather it's about the killer's secret being revealed. It's about watching their deepest darkest secret, watching them trying to do whatever it takes to hide it, and then watching it constantly fail. Because Columbo will always be the one to bring it to light.

.

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ january 2023

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 10 029

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue; The Gemini Heist; and a Third, Secret Thing :)

proudest accomplishment: uhhh i can't really thing of anything... i made it to 10k words for the month at the very last minute does that count

books read: Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty; Station Eternity by Mur Lafferty

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

as you may or may not have noticed i haven't really been active on writeblr lately. between work, the fact that it's january, and having to shovel through, like, 4 snow storms, i haven't really had the time or energy.

started the writing year super strong. hit a wall about halfway and have since been in a terrible slump for most of the month.

however it turns out that you can trick your brain into thinking it's experiencing New WIP Euphoria by digging up and revamping an old wip (i.e. the Third, Secret Thing).

book comments: both books i read were about murder in space. both were pretty good. both get a solid 4/5 stars.

(between that, watching Glass Onion, rewatching Murder She Wrote, and starting to watch Columbo, i think i'm on a bit of a murder kick lately.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

not much to say about this one tbh. while most of my words from this month came from this wip, i've,, mostly just been patching up little things like smoothing over inconsistent details and adding a little meat to description and exposition... but i've been procrastinating on fixing the Big Stuff 😭

i really like how the new version is turning out compared to the first version tho. it's so much cleaner & that's very satisfying.

if only i could just *clenches fist* get myself to actually fuckin work on it

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (outlining / draft 0.5 or something)

i finished part 1 of 7!... and now i have no idea what i'm doing.

i don't think i like fast drafting lol. i hate how shitty my quality of writing has been. and yeah whatever that's the point of a fast draft blablabla but like, when my draft is already a little bit readable i can go back and reread parts and be like "oh hey this isn't half bad". and i know people are always like "don't reread right away!!! just keep writing!!!!!!!" but for me rereading as i go is part of the process lmao. not only does it remind me of important things i would otherwise forget, it also encourages me to keep going when i see that what i've done isn't terrible.

and... with this fast draft everything just feels terrible.

not to mention i can't seem to untangle plot... heists are fuckin hard to plan. especially since there's multiple opposing parties with different plans that are all going to inevitably go to shit, and so i have to make more plans for when that happens. it feels so complicated uuuggghghhhgh

☆ COMMENTS: a Third, Secret Thing (???)

i'm not gonna talk about it too much publicly yet so i don't jinx whatever is going on here (and i want to make sure i'm a bit more committed to this thing before introducing anything) but all i'll say is it's an older wip that i've talked about on my old blog that i've dug out and changed the genre into a dark modern fantasy mystery with messy sapphics.

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

alright i know i said i didn't want to talk too much about the Third Secret Thing yet but i couldn't find any passages to share in either AR or GH... so have this, with very little context :') uhhh tw for mentions of death and murder.

That’s how she ended up peeking groggily out the door at the frigid winter morning, having hastily thrown a sweatshirt over her pyjamas and a towel over her hair, only to have two police officers inform her that Vanessa Villa-Cortez had been found dead in her apartment early that morning.

“D… dead?” Amina repeated, her mind in a haze. She had to still be asleep, right? Maybe the guilt over ignoring that text had seeped into her subconscious and was feeding her dreams. There was no way someone was at her door telling her that Vanessa, a girl she hadn’t heard from in nearly seven years, was… was—

“Killed in an apparent burglary gone wrong last night,” said one of the officers gravely. “A neighbour noticed the door had been clearly forced in, went inside to check, and found Miss Villa-Cortez’s body on the floor of her apartment.”

Amina’s head began to swim. She clutched the doorposts to keep her buckling knees from giving way completely beneath her. No. No. Vanessa couldn’t be dead. Amina still had to answer her text.

if you know you know ;)

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

genera taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @chaylattes @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @retrogayyde

you keep posting about columbo. do i need to watch it would u recommend?

first of all sorry for answering more than a week later... i had a feeling if i just keep on columboposting all alone eventually someone will be like what's going on.. my brain's been like THE KLUMBO!! every day most days for a while now so bear with me for a moment

my answer to "do you recommend x" is always that i can tell you about it, say what i like about it and what's possibly not to like so you can better evaluate whether it's something you would enjoy, yeah? 😳 like in the end it's either for you or it isn't and only you can find out. you know what i mean

um so columbo, the episodes are feature-length self-contained murder mysteries, if you wanted to you could start anywhere. and they aren't exactly mysteries because the concept is that you watch the murder happen and then the clues that lead to the arrest are uncovered gradually and the lieutenant and the killer dance around each other until the latter incriminates themself. usually because they underestimated columbo because he's a shabby little guy and appears to be sort of a bumbling idiot but is actually incredibly perceptive and sharp-witted, and he knows how the (usually rich) self-important murderers see him and uses that against them, as well as his compassion and intuition. that's pretty much it, it's a reverse whodunnit

i think (and it may be obvious) that the appeal of the show other than the crime/mystery is columbo, if you like him that could possibly be the thing that makes you continue watching. so i'll tell you that he doesn't carry a gun, can't stand the sight of blood, or high places, loves his wife. and his dog. simple guy, shrewd though. same rumpled coat and shitty little peugeot convertible all the time. he's very socratic in his methods, non-violent, and i think that's what really attracted me to this show. i enjoy the masculinity without the usual baggage, without the arrogance and the domineering and the posturing, if that makes sense lol.. plus i think peter falk's performance is wonderfully human, stephen fry said this once in an interview if i remember correctly: there's a certain warmth to it. columbo's a humble, virtuous character, yeah he's disheveled, a little all over the place but he understands people and is endlessly curious and dedicated and that's how he wins. and i like that and i think he's a bit of an unusual character because we're far from the macho tough guy cops who intimidate and coerce and threaten And from the trope of the egotistical superhuman genius detective.. he's a little guy c'maahn he's just a little guyy (it's not about him though viewers aren't even supposed to know his first name and it's hard to tell when he's bluffing and his private life is never the focus. so, a mysterious little guy)

TLDR: yes i recommend it if you like mysteries and would enjoy a crime drama with moments of silliness or would appreciate the unconventional masculinity (for his time definitely) i see in this character, and no i don't recommend it if you'd rather watch things that are short and snappy or if you strongly prefer an overarching plot or if you hate the look and feel of the 70s or if you don't like peter falk's whole deal and especially not if your pet peeve is talking in circles. oh and there are some moments and aspects of episodes that didn't age well but they're very few and far between imo. just wanted to mention that, i know nothing is perfect ofc<3

so yeah i do recommend it because i love it, thank you for asking !! :)

Do you have a top five favourite fics you have written?

This is a tough one, in part because I have written a lot and I can't look at the number on Ao3 and have it feel real. I haven't written that much. Have I? (I have written a ridiculous amount.)

Also I might list six.

Anywho. Here they are, in no particular order.

1.) Hearts in a Void

This is a Kingdom Hearts fic about Ienzo relearning who he is as a person and discovering he's aromantic while he's at it.

It was written in part because I found myself really identifying with him and I wanted to write several aro focused stories for Aro Week that year. I loved the idea of Ienzo and Tron becoming friends. It gave me a chance to sneak in my aro/allo Squall Leonhart headcanon. Also for some reason I decided Ienzo would write poetry, which I'm generally bad at but I actually really like the short little poems I came up with for him. (And then Ienzo totally invented blogging in the KH universe.)

Of all the fics I've written focused on an aspec headcanon, I think this one is definitely my favorite.

2.) Don't You Forget About Me and the associated A Touch of Forgetfulness Series.

Flash fanfic where Cisco gets several years worth of amnesia and learns that he and Hartley not only buried the hatchet but got married since the accelerator incident. Also there a metas, but the Hartley thing is definitely bigger. It's angst with a (somewhat bittersweet) happy ending because even though Cisco doesn't get his memories back, he might and until then he's making new memories and starting to fall in love with Hartley all over again.

I really love this series, and the first fic in particular because it was heart wrenching to write. I think if I had to name my favorite Hartmon fic I've written, it'd be this. Though a close second would be...

3.) The Pied Piper's Army of Rats Series

It's hard to pick just one fic, but the series is one whole story. So it totally counts. :D

Cisco's headaches over time travel (some worse than others) and Hartley's personal growth from his focus on revenge to his focus on protecting Cisco have been fun to write. And they're falling in love with each other as they're both growing into better versions of themselves. Also there's the ever expanding plushie army of rats, of which there will eventually be an amusing pay off.

4.) Nothing (Everything) To Lose

An Ace Attorney fic that goes AU from the ending of Miles being successfully declared not guilty of his father's murder. Phoenix gets shot and there's a lot more blood going on than I usually mention in a fic. But Miles and Maya get some bonding time, Miles realizes he very much wants to keep Phoenix in his life this time, and Gumshoe does a very good job of looking after Miles while he's in shock. (I adore Gumshoe, he wants to be a Columbo type so bad and he just isn't, poor dear.)

I really, really enjoyed getting into Miles' head for this one. And it was a bit of a love letter from me to the Ace Attorney series, which I was first introduced to in college by my roommates. It was a near instant addiction to the ridiculous levels of humor that went into the series, but it was the undying friendship between Phoenix and Miles that really got to me. Phoenix's devotion despite their years apart since childhood. And Miles desperately wanting for Phoenix to be right about him despite being terrified that Phoenix would be proven wrong.

5.) Frame of Mind

Named after an episode of Star Trek: TNG and loosely inspired by the plots of at least two TNG episodes, I had the idea for a character to be trapped in a VR but unable to recognize or escape it without help from the outside for a long time. I shopped around on fandoms before finally settling on the Flash and the Hartmon ship, but the story as an idea was one that I felt I needed to tell for a very, very long time.

I considered Eureka, but by then I was souring on the show and only really still writing fic because a friend I've since lost touch with shared the fandom with me. I also considered Tales of Vesperia, but I didn't feel it worked with the setting. Tales of Xillia 2 might have been a good fit settings wise, but the characters didn't feel right... the Dominator tech from the Arrow-verse Invasion! x-over event ended up being just what I'd been waiting for, though. And while I had a few false starts after that, I really love the final outcome of the fic. It was worth the wait to get the plot matched up to the right setting and characters.

Bonus 6.) (Re)Learning to Breathe

Another Flash fic, this one focused on Iris and Caitlin in season 2 as they get space to grieve for their losses from S1, actually get to know each other, and find love again with each other. It was a request fic that I really enjoyed completing. The pacing felt right and having the ladies slowly fall in love seemed to just write itself.

3, 4, 11, 17?

Sorry for not getting back to you yesterday. I took a ten mile walk and was utterly exhausted when I got your question.

3. In Morning Light and Love’s Embrace, I thought it was soft and cute and just very loving and sensual without having to write sex. I adore the imagery and all the little plot/backstory weaving together. I really want to come back to it and write the Passover part/Erik's proposal, its thoroughly hinted at and people have been commenting on it.

4. Of Jet Fuel, Self-Doubt, and Fatherhood, I was genuinely surprised that this became my most popular fic via hits. I just didn't get as to why it got so popular so quickly; I thought it was short, but that's not true I have written shorter. And I must admit, I don't think its my best work by far.

The God and the Thief, which currently has 42 Subscriptions, which is the highest of all my fics. I thought this story was far to niche and Sabah Nur in the Dadneto fandom wasn't that popular as a villain or as a counterpoint to Erik. Its also the fic where I overindulge in a style, in my view is very close to novel-istic writing like professional published. Though I am really proud of myself for writing chapter 2, its my longest piece (total of 22 pages); now can be considered a Novella.

11. I adore 3rd person omniscient, I like the flexibility that it brings and I can switch between POV, fairly easily. But I would rather stick pins in my eyes than write in the first person; I can't even read first POV fanfiction, it breaks my emersion. Though the the Great Gatsby doesn't bother me. I might go into deep style now and again without knowing it.

17.

Chapter 3: The Tan Room/ SOS of My Son Comes Back to Me

Its currently 6 pages and 1629 words long, the placements of the scenes are correct, its just matter of expanding and completing them. But Charles and Erik still have issues pertaining to the events of DOFP; Erik not feeling like an equal to Charles in their relationship; a bit of mystery around Peter; some flashbacks and mood setting in the Mansion; Charles Xavier being a pompous ass. Remy, who was originally supposed be a reference; I have now came up with a subplot for him. There is a lot.

I am really leaning toward a more Columbo style mystery where it isn't about whodunit, but how Charles and Erik are going to catch En Sabah Nur and become the power couple the audience knows that they can be if they sort out their shit.

Shabbat Shalom

Its done and it was even a draft in Ao3, but I just didn't publish it.

It's about the Xavier-Lehnsherr family celebrating Rosh Hashanah and Erik and Charles are helping Pietro and Wanda (First time writing her actually). With a metallokinesis! Pietro, he's having quite the hard time controlling his powers. Pietro feeling isolated and goes into how he didn't graduate from high school because the system failed him; its based on my own family history that came into light after my dad died.

The pandemic unmoored me in a way, I was very assured by beliefs before all of this. I realized that I had no rituals, had very little friends.

The lockdowns made me think, once there was nothing more to consume with TV and movies. I was left with nothing but my thoughts; I was closer to death than most because I saw day in and day out my mom coming home and taking off her scrubs and putting them in the wash and jumping into the shower. There were some nights, where I thought I was going to lose her. With the mass death, I just wanted someone to blame and be angry at with Covid and my dad's diagnosis. I wanted something to be angry at.

All that I could do was write. I would call my works meditations on Judaism.

But I wrote Shabbat Shalom, during those darkest hours. I found more comfort in a holiday that I didn't even celebrate than X-Mas of that year. I don't where I heard this from, but writing and publishing, and telling stories is about connection.

X-Mas brought no joy, no reassurance, the tree had lost all meaning. I just went through the motions.

I also started listening to the Hashivenu podcast.

I had another existential crisis when my father died; I don't know shit and what did I want out of life?

I cried when I was editing it. Because I went OH, OOOOHHHHH....I had the realization that I wasn't just writing about the characters anymore, but myself.

I don't want to publish because its far too personal to me. I wouldn't mind sending it personally to my friends...

Here we are studying the scared text of X-Men that has brought us all together.

There is just something that I really like about Judaism; I think its finding the scared in the everyday.

Kate Mulgrew's late 1970's mystery series, Mrs. Columbo (later renamed to Kate Loves a Mystery) has its hits and misses. It has the same pacing and vibe of Columbo, but with only about half of the cleverness. Random references to the Columbo show are thrown out here and there to remind people that the show that they are sitting through is loosely tied to another detective show which is actually good.

The occasional references to Kate's husband (Lieutenant Columbo) make it seem like he is the most neglectful husband and father of all time. In one scene the daughter asks Kate if she should wait up for dad to get home. Kate responds sardonically, "Not unless you're planning to stay up until three o'clock in the morning."

In the episode posted above, Donald Pleasance guest stars as some sort of internationally famous, English police inspector (Do those exist?) who has written a true crime novel about several "perfect murders".

We are introduced to his character when Kate attends a night school, womens' self-defense class. Pleasance shows the ladies how to use an umbrella as a weapon to fend off a potential rapist by doing an over-acted impersonation of Porthos from The Three Musketeers. Then he the introduces them to the latest thing in self-defense, this high-tech new gadget called "mace".

So this brilliant expert on crime-fighting and self-defense, a man who literally wrote the book on "the perfect murder" proceeds to commit the sloppiest, most half-assed murder ever conceived.

Kate manages to solve the murder before the police, mainly because the police are just not that interested. The head of homicide isn't the least bit curious about the fact that this man who they think committed suicide was wearing a false beard. No one is concerned that there's a random bullet hole in the wall. They apparently don't even bother to dust for fingerprints, because Donald Pleasance had touched nearly everything in the room before and after the murder. He was like a blind man trying to feel his way to the exit.

I don't feel like this is a victory for Mrs. Columbo. Solving this mystery is like winning a baseball game because the other team didn't show up.

If anything, this is a loss. Now that Donald Pleasance is in jail, who the hell is out there looking for Michael Meyers?

I get ppl who theorize that Columbo’s wife is actually his husband.

But personally I like the idea that Columbo actually genuinely loves his wife, considering how commen it is to see husbands fucking despise their wives, it’s a nice change of pace.

But then again, who’s to say Columbo’s wife cant also be his husband? Who are we to assume Columbo’s wife is limited to a single gender?

i admit it's interesting on the outside. it jibes well with his whole aura of mystery and obfuscation, and i even entertain the notion sometimes for fun, but i agree. i find the "oooh he's LYING about HAVING A WIFE he's actually BACHELOR" school of Columbo Theory rather...boring.

canonically, we do substantiate her existence via phone calls and secondhand appearances/references (see: any old port, exercise in fatality, and rip mrs columbo for phone calls, troubled waters for phone calls/being seen by others, and caution: murder hazardous for a third party phone call). i talk a bit about this here and a few headcanons of mine here. there's little refutation of the point that the show wants you to know he does have a wife.

but more importantly, it is not only important that columbo's wife is real and that he loves her, it's central to his whole character. he brings her up constantly, even to people whom he isn't trying to manipulate.

wait til she sends you out for maxi pads at 11 pm sergeant. you try and tell me the difference between super and maximum and overnight and with wings and without wings and

it is in itself a statement about the character that, in an era in which he'd be right at home making jabs at his wife, there are not only none to be found, he blabs about her to anyone who will listen. he stands in opposition to the tropes of detectives who are cold, lonely, chauvinistic, and/or womanizing; he's a person who understands love, dedication, and lasting relationships, and uses that understanding to his advantage in his work.

i just think it's a far more interesting thought experiment to imagine what kind of person could make a marriage work with a man as unique as columbo.

of course, it doesn't matter what you like to imagine columbo's partner is--man, woman, neither, trans, a bee hive--the important thing is that he loves them.

(...so long as it isn't mrs. columbo from the failed and horrifically miscast show)

i’m always telling everyone who will listen about the Valid Queer Reading of any old port in a storm so i’ve been really enjoying your recent tags! i think it’s so interesting that when the episode starts we see that adrian appears to have the genuine respect of his peers but it def doesnt go both ways, since we also see him unrepentantly spying on them, lmao. columbo’s genuine interest in the thing adrian’s dedicated his life to is definitely what leads to the genuine bond they seem to share by the end, but do you think there’s more to it than that? what do you think it is that makes the two of them click so well?

thanks! i think that part at the beginning is meant to establish just how punctilious and highly respected carsini is at what he does. and like you said that is what ultimately connects the two, the mutual respect for each other's work ethic and dedication to perfection in their life's work.

that quick establishment of mutual respect means that throughout the episode there is, uniquely, almost no animosity between them, save for carsini at the beginning somewhat bristled at columbo's repeated intrusions. but once columbo shows a genuine curiosity about wine, he warms to him very quickly, and instead of bitter spats they have very friendly exchanges; they literally just become Friends. they drink wine together, joke together, explore The Catacombs together. hell, carsini's even glad to be caught(!)--he actually admits he's way more comfortable with the notion of columbo arresting him than he is the notion of having to date his secretary of twelve years. and, of course, he compliments him at the end.

yeah. freedom is getting your crush to handcuff you while giggling and serving you fancy italian dessert wine. we know

the two seem to truly enjoy each other's personalities. columbo gets a kick out of carsini's dry wit and exacting nature, carsini gets a kick out of columbo's...well everything, it seems. even when columbo pretends to close the case and ask him out to dinner (read: A Date, designed to trick him, but still A Date), carsini isn't out there gritting his teeth in an attempt to drive him away. he's genuinely ELATED, he's in a HURRY to get there, he gets MAD when the table is bad and INCENSED when the WINE is bad. he wanted everything about that meal to be sensational. why? not just because he's meticulous, but because that's amore

don't trip over your dick lover boy

waiter this dreamy italian hunk was going to bestow upon me a goodnight kiss until you dared serve him this LIQUID FILTH

speaking of which, i think, too, that the initial bit establishing that they're both italian is important as sharing heritage can sometimes very quickly bridge gaps.

especially when actual prejudice against you was the norm not too long ago

most importantly, these two have phenomenal interpersonal chemistry. you ever start talking to someone and find a rhythm with them so easily that you surprise yourself? these guys are just always on the same wavelength. their banter is subtle, funny, and distinct. theyre so nauseatingly in love with each other that every time they trade shiny-eyed smiles it looks like wedding photography.

so yeah, that's why they're so obviously in love that it sickens me. but don't take it from me...

like them and miss them and even want to kiss them