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actualbird · 1 year

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Hey Zak!

I just read your analysis on marius and emotional distancing and I agree! I think on top of that, he's also the type to bottle it up, if that's the right term for it.

There's one Marius scene that really stuck with me, above all the romantic stuff. (i don't remember which story it's from, i just remember what he did). Marius was talking about something traumatizing, then in the blink of an eye, he was smirking at us, all smug and asking us if we really fell for it.

Once I noticed that, I start noticing it in all Marius angst stories. Every time he talks about something traumatizing, he typically changes the topic in the middle. Which is to be expected when it's something that traumatizes him, but the thing is, the trauma gets mentioned, and we see him being vulnerable. Then, it's like a switch flicks in his head. Like "Oh wait, I'm talking to jiejie", and he immediately clams up and starts teasing us, going back to the flirty brat we met at the start.

I can't think of a single time when he mentions something traumatizing, and we actually get him being completely vulnerable as he tells us about it all, not just part of it before he swaps to flirty and confident mode.

I was kidding when I told some of my friends that "marius is the type to be having an emotional breakdown and saying 'i'm fine, it's fine, why do you think i need help'", but now I think it could actually happen.

irt analysis on marius and emotional distancing

hi roshie-writes!! first off, im v sorry im getting to this ask very late OTL but im happy to hear u agree with that analysis :D

additionally, this ask is rlly interesting cuz yEPPPPPP, I AGREE ON ALL THIS TOO

that whole thing of Drops Vulnerability And Then Shifts To Playful Aloofness is SO VERY common in marius stories, and i personally first clocked it in the Lost Gold event. in like, the very first scene of his LG route, marius tells mc that she must think him naive for wanting to trust bryce and in general just confesses some insecurities hes got. and then the moment mc shows him sincerity, concern, and worry, he immediately shifts and is like "AWWWW UR WORRIED ABOUT ME >:3c" which makes me (and mc) wanna affectionately strangle him.

another more recent instance of this tendency happens in his blossom chapter personal story 4, right when he actually tells the full story of the Basement Incident. and then not like 5 lines after that, he gets flirty, glosses OVER ALL OF THAT WORRYING INFORMATION, and then says "Yeah, that's my good girl" to mc with a smirk on his face.

this personal story 4 instance stands out to me for three reasons:

1) simply cuz the Basement Incident full story lives in my mind rent free and

2) the "Yeah, that's my good girl" is notorious cuz i regularly see screencaps of that line do rounds on twt with ppl simping over it, me included, cuz my god marius KNOWS how to be flirty, like, lemme just drop the screencap cuz Im Not Immune To Marius von Hagen

and 3) the fact that this above screencap regularly makes rounds w ppl going crazy over how hes a flirty bastard (affectionate) really makes me go nuts cuz.....aGAIN. HE DID THIS LIKE 2 SECONDS AFTER CONFESSING HE NEARLY DIED AS A CHILD. LIKE...to an extent, his deflection here worked even outside of the realm of the in-game story itself, it's working on the players too cuz we're busy going MARIUS! VON! HAGEN! over the flirting that, again, attention is taken away from the thing he doesnt want anybody to pay attention to

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS........

i talk a little bit abt this bait-n-switch tendency of his in an old analysis i wrote, marius von hagen, facade vs. sincerity, harsh truths vs. persisting hope, and my thought abt this tendency hasnt changed from the insight i gathered back then, which went:

marius casually has the tendency to “act” a certain way to get things like praise and reassurance, which could arguably interpreted as him using facades (which in this situation i think is actually him just saying theyre facades, theyre actually sincere, but he hides that, says it’s just an act) to acquire the deep seated sincerity he wishes. here, facade is a medium by which to acquire sincerity from others.

this is partly because of what you say which i agree with. he still wants people to care about him (because thats an innately human desire we All want) but at some point, he realizes hes talking to mc and hes gotta dial it back. and why does he dial it back? because he doesnt want her to worry. she matters to him, and he doesnt want her to be upset over him, so shifting the conversation into something playful can effectively stop worry in its tracks or, at the very least, delay it.

but i also think this is because revealing these gutpunch things like trauma or insecurities is, at the end of the day, a vulnerability

and marius is in a position where he cannot be vulnerable. vulnerability can put him (and maybe even people who matter to him too) in danger.

as much as his deflection, disconnection, and repression is a method for him to deal with his own things himself, these methods are also a way for him to protect against others. he needs to act like these vulnerabilities dont matter to him at all, because then theyre less likely to become weakpoints for an enemy to exploit.

and marius is also in a position where hes got a Lot of enemies. so many people would quite like it if they had something to hold over the head of Pax, mr interim-CEO himself

it's at times like these i really appreciate that marius' nxx codename is King, because it is sosososoososoo fitting for him, specifically due to the chess definition of the term.

the king is simultaneously the most important piece (which garners many enemies and ensures everybody wants to be able to put the king in check or checkmate), AND arguably the weakest piece too (full of vulnerabilities and weakpoints that need to be Constantly guarded against). the king is literally a piece thats meant to be hunted and protected, because thats the entire point of the game, and thats a lot of what marius has to deal with too. marius, to me, feels like hes constantly playing 4D chess in an effort to protect himself and make it look like hes protecting no weakpoints at all, weakpoints Dont Exist, if u saw them, no u didnt, because he needs to appear invincible

all eyes are always on him, for better or for worse. and when everybody is watching, allies and enemies alike, it seems way smarter to just hide and minimize vulnerability completely than to risk getting stabbed in the back for it.

#roshie-writes #asks #marius von hagen #tears of themis #the marius urge to make zak write a ridiculously long block of text. he CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS ALSO!!!

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magnoliamyrrh · 9 months

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like;;; this is what i mean. done barely any physical effort today and the migraine left and earlier i could walk around and i was sorta fine and was just sitting up in bed switching between writing essay and viji game when out of the completely damn blue the dizziness and lightheadedness hit me and the brain pressure and my hearts randomly taking me for a ride. so i cant even stand up on my ass in bed rly, i have to lay down. cant even play viji game in peace god damn it and i dont even know if i can keep working on the essay bc my brain feels like its in slow shutdown mode more every minute

how tf do you be around people like this and hang out like this. i was doing the most least effort thing possible and now im just goop. i dont wanna just be around ppl even at a house or especially not hanging out and get like this jfc, and what the hell do u do when something like this hits u when ur w ppl outside??? like hey sorry guys, i need to lay down randomly outside for god knows how long or can someone pls be nice enough to bring a car over so i can stay in it and miss out on everything. this shit is such a massive inconvenience for me and its not something i wanna bring into anyone elses lives

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ofmdee · 11 months

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some sims questions!?!?!!

thank u for the tag @eulaliasims 💜 im gonna do these for ts4 unless it's specified

1. What’s your favourite sims death? Omg. Ummm, is it cheating to say old age? I like the satisfaction of knowing i got that sim thru LIFE. But cardiac explosion is also a good one.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? for ts4, def mostly maxis match, but i'm not like, super strict? something looks good i download it 😂 which is a problem.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? no??? i did take away sim ed's massive bulging muscles he got from too many autonomous workouts once, tho.

4. Do you use move objects? it is Always on

5. Favorite mod? probably MCCC. it does So Much.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Livin' large!!!! 😂

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVING for real i never even considered ALIVE was even an option until recently

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? well, i don't really make sims too often these days, i usually play sims born in game? i mean i obv favor my ofmd sims, but i didn't actually MAKE their bases, they're from the gallery, just heavily made over. from my ts2 days tho i rly liked val.

9. Have you made a simself? oh yeeeee, many times! my most recent one moved in w my gfs selfsim

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Realistically: Cat lover, loner, socially awkward, erratic, and lazy 😅

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? ummmm i guess one of the pinks? idk it depends! never rly thought about it.

12. Favorite EA hair? bro idk

13. Favorite life stage? idk young adult i guess????

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both babeeeey. And story telling. And gif making. I use sims for a lot of stuff!

15. Are you a CC creator? I used to be (old ts2 content), but now i basically only make stuff for personal use for specific sims 😂

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i think? def friends and friendly acquaintances, not rly a SQUAD so to speak, but i've made friends with a lot of ppl on simblr that i'm friendly with outside of simblr now.

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) 2, despite not having played it in years.

18. Do you have any sims merch? just the games 😂

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? nooo. i have a twitter 🔞, tho ;)

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? in ts2 it was very grunge/neon, and that's harder to find for ts4, imho, and i rly miss that! so i guess my ts4 style is less..... alternative? which is a bummer tbh.

21. What’s your Origin ID? i share jessy's, lol, and also i 🏴‍☠️ ts4 anymore so i don't even remember tbh

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? Buuuuuhhh i cannot choose just one! anyone who never paywalls their stuff, how about that? ;)

23. How long have you had a simblr? since like 2010 lol, this blog only for a few months, tho.

24. How do you edit your pictures? Photoshop! if they're for tumblr i crop them to 800x500, use this psd (that i've edited slightly by adding some vibrance) and then finish it with a super old sharpening action of pooklet's 😂 if i'm making gifs or graphics i switch up psds/etc but that's my go-to editing technique.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? i dont want ANY more fuckin sims 4 packs i am so sick of updating my game just let it DIE. tbh.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? god idek, there are like 239483209483209 dlcs for ts4, it's hard to pick an overall fav. 🤣

if you wanna do this and haven't done it yet, here is your tag!

#xoxod #sims

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the-amalgam-house · 8 months

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The feeling of a switch is so weird. It's pretty rare in the first place, since it tends to only happen when I'm in extreme distress or way too dissociated to function (that is to say I'm almost always dissociating but I can still function like half of the time), but a couple nights ago was a very non emergency just mid conversation switch.

I was talking with ilo about some things in the past, most notably the time where she almost fully took over front as deadname for like...YEARS. And like, at some point I actually could recognize myself like shifting to the back. Like I decided I didn't want to drive at that moment and though I was still aware of being me and being part of the conversation, ilo was in the drivers seat. She had said before she never wanted to front again, but I guess it felt safe enough in that moment to take the lead.

She started to freak out when she heard Kanon walking around the house, though, like almost a full on panic attack. I had to help calm her down and take front again, and Idric seemed to sense the distress and joined us only for a couple minutes. We all could sense that if ilo went panic mode when she'd switch with milo, which is uh. I love them but that's not exactly the best idea, especially if ilo stayed fronting.

We continued conversation a little bit, and ilo feels guilty about stuff with introducing Kanon to the church and the things that followed. She wants to apologize but is way too scared to do it herself, and/or way too emotional to do it on impulse. So I think once I can come up with a way to word it, I'm the middle man in this endeavor.

We also think there's another person in here. Sprayed with the severe distress of returning home from visiting family, which in the end is not as big a deal as I was making it but I have Big Feelings and it's rough.

I wasn't sure at first. He kind of showed up the same way Frelly did, in dreams. But while Frelly was eager to be known, this guy seems to just been really aloof about it, which is why I was unsure if this was just a Dream OC thing or a headmate thing. The two feelings are very different, though I can't really explain how. But it FEELS like a headmate thing.

Talking to ilo, she confirmed that yeah he's in here, he just prefers to do his own thing and Being Known isn't that important to him.

His name is Oliver Jackson Wilde, making him the 4th person in here with an actual last name. Maybe 5th idk yet since some ppl are still trying to decide on full names.

He's very punk and anarchy, but also boho nature, but ALSO tribal dance, if literally any of that makes sense. Doesn't seem to have actually interacted with anyone before yesterday, the closest being ilo, who is also very boho nature witchy. But last night I was curious and went into Minecraft to try to build a space for him, and he actually spoke up to say he doesn't want a room, just a movie theater. He'll crash in the guest room if he wants but he's very Free Spirit and likes to live in nature more often than not, but he wanted a place to hang out and watch movies, so we have a movie theater now. It's a short walk away from the main house, seats like 16 ppl, and has a snack bar.

I honestly do love using Minecraft to help visualize. I wish I could flesh it all out even more in a way that's easily accessible, but even Sims has limits that are too strict for what I'd be trying to do so Minecraft it is!

(Besides, I don't have a PC rn, gave it to Nina cause hers shorted out in the storm)

#toby talk #witchy ilo #OJW #he's the only one besides me with a middle name too lmao

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milhazel · 1 year

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TW ED basically diary entry of v intrusive thoughts these may or may not apply to you and if they do I’m truly sorry you also have felt this way before plz take the time to focus on yourself and your mental well being <3

unfortunately my brain has finally become overly saturated with thinspo pics I need real life painful and traumatic encounters w skinny women to finally have the motivation to get where I want to be… I need a real life ed friend who doesn’t know I’m also struggling so I can go undercover n shiii. The thing is I get these everyday but the hate that festers inside me towards them because their standard is so excruciatingly hard to achieve that my ed flips a switch and goes hinge mode on me then I hate myself the next day fall into imposter fasting mode (only eating when no one is around to feel like I didn’t eat or make sure they don’t see me eating out of pure embarrassment) or genuinely fasting for a good max of 12-14 hours only to feel that same hatred again and binge.

like you know what I mean the pictures just don’t help me not binge anymore I always resort to feeling angry towards ppl who look like that and saying fuck them im eating yknow, like there’s a little voice in there fighting for me but it’s not the kind of voice you pity it’s the kind that’s desperate to keep you alive but you just don’t want it to it’s so frustrating I cant turn it off anymore without having someone say something mean to me or seeing other ppl in my life lose weight, I know we’re all supposed to be pro recovery but the only thing recovery has brought me is more pain and more grieving over my ed where I use it to characterize how I was as a person wishing I was that version of myself again with that same mentality, it’s freeing to know that I was once like that so in reality there’s hope that I go back down that direction, all I need is that silly little trigger that’ll eventually kill that voice and keep me from caring about being fed so often I DONT NEED TO SURVIVE LITERALLY CAPITALISM IS MAKING ME THINK SO HARD AN WHEN I EAT AND WHAT TO EAT NEXT WHY CANT I REALIZE THAT THE FOOD ISNT GOING ANYWHERE AND THAT I WONT DIE IF I DONT EAT EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY

I basically live w my bf at this point and never have my groceries at his place so I never rly ate around him all the time, but now I recently started bringing my food in preparation for being there for days at a time and it’s almost surprising to him when I eat, as if he has this notion that I shouldn’t be eating with all of this fake worrisome looks when I say I’m not hungry then not doing anything about it. Idk if I’m going crazy if I’m delusional or I’m just overthinking and being naive but I stg he looks at me w disgust and wishes he had someone more attractive, I feel like his friends make comments with all their single asses going out and fucking college whores every other day while they claim that they “like” this one girl they met and like spending time with her, sometimes the people he surrounds himself with disgust me and he doesn’t see a problem, either that or he’s just part of the problem :) irdk what to think anymore and Ik I’ve said this on here before while using this as my private diary but I rly mean it this time I don’t know what to think or how to feel I feel like I’m constantly being tricked and made fun of and judged and have expectations over my head that I simply just cannot reach with the mindset that’s growing in me right now and NOBODY sees this literally NOBODY then I get blamed for my lack of communication when it’s so clear as fucking day that there is no way all of what I endure is going unnoticed I just need to fast and turn my brain off for a while, reclaim the life I’m going for without naive respect for everyone around me to the point where I literally leave myself behind. I told you I suffered from bulimic thoughts and actions over the past summer and cried in your arms told you that I was lacking confidence and always feeling like a convenient option what more can I do to communicate this to you

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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I apologize in advance for the spam you guys are gonna get when I finish reading Gideon the ninth. I'm not saying it's gonna be a hyperfixation (at least not until I catch up w/ Harrow the ninth) BUT. It's gonna move in alongside tma, deltarune, etc. Make way for the new addition to the interests family

#ramblings of a lunatic #idk why I'm even making this disclaimer. i don't want 2 annoy ppl by suddenly switching gears and only posting about one thing from now on #I really like having all my lite interests stacked on top of eachother rn though i don't think I'm gonna abandon this mode of like. living #if I'm bored of one guy i just post about a different guy until i stop being bored of the first guy. my life is utopian now #anyway almost done gideon just got a few more chapters to get through #hate 2 say it but. I'm already getting movie adaptation brainrot (SPECIFICALLY IN A ''i like making movies way'')

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impending-day · 2 years

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ok since at least one person wants to hear my Afterlife SMP Boogeyman's Curse AU im gonna do a quick summary of what i have. yes i am palnning on putting this bad boy on ao3 i have 1600 words i wrote in one sitting wink wonk!!

vague summary time!!

yknow how the sound of the uh. the pre-boogey message comes with thunder. like the one that says _ minutes untin the boogey is chosen. yeah its raining when that first hits

the message says like "the boogey will be chosen in 60 minutes" cause i want everyone to meet up before the boogey(s) is/are chosen

so they all converge upon their spawn island and theyre all like "bro wtf is going on." joel, scott, lizzie, and jimmy are the only ones who know the weight of the message and theyre kinda in hysterics to figure out why its here in the first place

they argue?? about it? somehow?? idk havent written that part

because i feel like it, im making joel an Empath and hes like "oooboy there is something not good approaching and its not just the 10 minutes left on that clock"

then from a tree: boom. eyes. shubbles like "OUGH WHAT" (hint: her origin is a shadow smthn right). and then some stupid mysterious speech and who is it?

its. its grian

why is he here you ask? 1. self indulgence. 2. hes the admin of last life and thus has access to the boogeyman curse's code. 3. hes a watcher yeah thats canon here too. he even calls it his "origin" and i think im pretty smart

anyways the last life folk are all screaming at him (at least internally) and everyone else is like "howd you even get here" except for shubble cause my watcher lore says that watchers are from the void which, according to shubbles origin, she was there for a few hundred years so. yeah

im mildly tempted to bring the Entity into this but idk how exactly

i also dont exactly know why grian chose to spread the curse into afterlife rn sorry lol this is all self indulgence because im Not Over Last Life and dont think i ever will be

joel naturally is furious at grian right? like they were allies on last life and now grian is pitting everyone against each other. he feels absolutely betrayed.

scott is like. dying inside. because he cant handle going through those feelings again after resisting the curse and falling to red due to his failure. he just cant do that again.

jimmy is confused on why grian keeps calling him timmy. but hes also more confused on why the boogeyman curse is back. hed gone through a server with that once. hes concerned it followed him over to afterlife. canary in the coalmine, after all.

lizzie is scared. shes not particularly strong; shes much better at hiding. being the boogeyman would be really bad for her, but someone else being the boogeyman would be bad too. potentially worse. her mind has already switched back into survival mode.

and everyone else is like "bro wtf is a boogeyman"

the thing is, to not drop 9 lives, the boogeyman has to kill someone every week

yeah so joel gets into an argument with grian and its getting heated (haha im so funny). and then joel tries to attack grian but. naturally. it dont work. and grian takes joels first life before the curse is even implemented

the sun is setting, joel just died, grian is tormenting them, yaddah yaddah yaddah. grian goes to pick on scott as "payback for not following the rules correctly last time." and everyone is trying to keep scott away like a game of hot potato or something but its not going so well

UNTIL joel teleports across the water and stabs grian through the chest. cause hes enderian now. why? plot. i make the au, i make the rules

grian goes away and now its night. spawn is lit up nicely but everywhere else. is not. mwehehe

i have more but i wanna get a more solid idea first (laughs in im just gonna go make a part 2 if ppl want it) (because i already have a solid idea but its even More self indulgent)

anyways yeah thats. pretty in depth honestly damn. but expect it to be Better because im actually gonna format this stuff into a proper piece of literature one day lol

thanks yall for being so pumped abt this tho!!

#alsmp #alsmp au #last life au #theres grian #hes here #boogeyman's curse au #enjoy lol #i already have watcher designs. so many. its so fun

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letthefrogsbe · 3 years

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remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry.

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

#hope this is marketable??#sort of just wanted to share my 4 am writing tbh #it doesn't make sense just go w it #parkner #peter parker #harley keener

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azuwulastan · 3 years

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Share your Jetko hcs please??

andso the background for these hcs is basically that the ba sing se story arc is abt zuko struggling over his quest for ozai’s approval, his birthright, fire nation supremacy etc vs iroh’s influence to take care of himself, stop chasing after a false dream (as far as i remember iroh doesn’t fully switch sides until book 3 (?). zuko tries iroh’s way but ultimately returns to the fire nation with azula. he wasn’t satisfied with working in a tea shop w iroh (hence that weird post fever optimism ooc stuff.. what was With that).

as for jet, he has decided to “go straight,” leave the forest and stop fighting fire nation people. he wants a little peace, but he’s still in survival mode, looking for threats everywhere. i feel like he wasn’t quite ready to leave his life behind.

in each other they might find a different way of living in this city - together. jetko doesn’t work after jet finds out theyre firebenders. so imo this could only really happen if jet doesn’t spoke iroh fire bending.

so.... headcanons.

neither of these boys have had friends their age before. zuko was the leader on his ship, and jet led his band of merry fire fighters. theyve never really had fun for its own sake before. so i think they see in each other an equal, who both get up to as much trouble as the the other does.

jet’s far more comfortable w his sexuality (seems bi to me) and he’s the more forward of the two. he’s the one who reaches out to zuko first and i don’t see that changing much. i can imagine that after they part ways on the boat, they happen across each other and have to work together to solve some kind of problem. maybe someone steals something from zuko and jet helps him replace it or something. zuko wouldnt start helping jet’s crew out of the kindness of his heart. bk 2 zuko is selfish. he’d work with jet (at first) bc he gets something out of it. then maybe he starts learning to be less single minded about finding the avatar/conforming to iroh’s expectations, and start leaning into the goodness he does have. it would take a while though. as for jet, he sees a useful ally who happens to be hot. hes a simple boy what can i say lol

as they spend more time togetther, i imagine they’d escalate their activities . maybe start fucking around with the dai li or gangs that operate in the lower ring. maybe fucking up businesses that rip ppl off. theyre both kind of rebelling - zuko against both his dad and iroh, and jet against the freedom fighters who want him to settle down. .but these are two messed up teen boys. they lash out and destroy stuff and push each other on.

zuko has a lot to hide about himself. he would share very little about himself to jet. and i think jet would get it. he wouldnt pressure him to talk - he is used to silence, being friends w longshot after all. they’d just spend time together. and maybe through that silence, zuko would begin to share a little more about himself and his family in ways that didnt give away his identity. as for jet, he loves to brag abt the shit he’s done, and he’d talk abt the wrongs done to him by the fire nation, but there would be lots of things he doesnt talk about- how scared he is, how much he worries abt his freedom fighters, guilt he might feel about his past actions.but he plays it cool.

imagine the sparring between these two. i think jet would be one of those guys really into warrior male. he’d love getting sweddy w some ripped sword wielding dude. he’d call zuko his brother but in a gay way.

i dont think zuko would ever acknowledge whats happening between them. like, i doubt they would have a romantic kiss, but def would mess around in a way that it was just guys being dudes it doesnt mean anything we’re just letting off steam bro..

i dont think zuko would acknowledge to himself that maybe he did want to kiss jet until after he got back to the fire nation. he may or may not be into mai, but something is definitely missing from that relationship and maybe when he’s kissing mai he’s wishing he got to kiss jet too.

jets got a big chip on his shoulder. when iroh and zuko get invited up to the upper ring, jet definitely feels betrayed. he might go up to visit zuko at the jasmine dragon one day, cause a big scene bc zuko doesn’t act happy enough to see him (bc umm... iroh is there.. he doesn’t know abt us bro) and thinks its bc zuko thinks he’s too good for him now

they are both prone to anger, right? we zuko has a temper and have low frustration tolerance. however jet’s hotheadedness is linked to a tenuously inflated ego. he reacts very poorly to slights. zuko doesnt notice slights half the time. conversely jet can keep his cool until triggered by something. so he balances of zuko’s impulsivity/lashing out bc of small irritation.

but always... as soon as jet begins to suspect zuko is fire nation its over. and zuko knows it. its not exactly healthy. but there is something there. in an ideal world, jetko would end with jet never figuring out who zuko was. he would just fondly remember that sexi dao sword dude he used to mess around w . wonder whatever happened to lee ? yk...

#gayfertilitygoddess #jetko

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shhhlikeme · 4 years

Text

Nin’s Matchup!

(SFW + NSFW)

Matchup Profile: Sfw+nsfw matchup pretty pls! (1/5) Name: Nin>Female>5’4>Film & sfx/theatrical makeup freelancer>V athletic in MS-HS: ballet, was in volley ball, soccer &Basketball teams>Miss my prime days>Scared to start workout again b/c I’ll get lightheaded>If sum1 helps push me through initial fear, I’ll keep growing from there> Likes chilling in ballet stretch poses>paints, photographs&draws as hobby>draws a pic a day (mostly portraits)>writing a comic atm >Always plan contingencies.🦄

(2/5) >embarrassed of my loud laugh(it’s like Kuroo’s)>introvert>not afraid to lead a team tho> V shy & quiet most times>8/10 times, feels awk in public,like idk what i’m saying, but others told me I seem social>Once I’m comfy w/ u, i joke a lot(occasional mum jokes 2 annoy+Sassy dirty ones w/ S/O)>hides behind ppl who likes 2 talk, but not when they’re 2 loud>laughs @ mistakes/when embarrassed>Will stop mistreatment, even if I get in trouble>values communication&genuine discussions🦄

(3/5) Sings when home alone>competes @ Street Fighter tournaments, trains everyday 4 it>Sings “Hit Me W/ Your Best Shot” when fighting bosses in game&swears melodically when i lose>eats chips w/ chopsticks >make hats out of my cat fur when bored>Workahokic night🦉>likes 2 teach >full convos w/ my 🐱>LIVES in oversized hoodies & flip flops, regardless of weather>no pants@home!>Feels incompetent sometimes, but keep practicing 2 improve>Analytical fast learner>idk why ppl think i look innocent🦄

(4/5)>Forgets 2 speak eng when tired (Thai 1st lang.)>Headrubs 4 s/o every night b4 bed>will miss u but is bad@texting>yelps like puppy when I’m surprised>Unconventionally resourceful: Wire hangers’s fixes everything! >stress bakes & will gets pouty if it didn’t turn out well.>overwhelmed to water my 50+ 🌱 >Doodles on smt (always have a pen on me)when i feel socially anxious> 2 dance sober @ clubs> Wants a stable relationship where we work tgt like a team to bring out the best in one another🦄

(5/5) I like a s/o who is lovable, kind, genuine, mature, independent and caring, but can also joke & be silly with like best friends. NSFW: open 2 try new things>❤️restraints, blindfolds & sensual tickle sex (as lee+ler) but had always been too shy to share it with any1>occasionally self conscious of food baby+stretchmarks>🥰edging/teasing >has a thing 4 height differences (likes to feel smol lol!) & primal play.>Is a switch. I’m so sorry if it’s too much info! Thank you for doing this!🦄

————————————

A/N: HI LOVE @crushzone !!!! I SMILE WHEN I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS GIRL I WORKED HARD ON YOURS OF COURSE💖 But no matter whaaaat I’m going to be very authentic in my matchups bc they’re based on compatibility and therefore, without further ado, lemme introduce you to your NEW BAE:

————————————

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO 🦉

SFW:

so you’re a theatrical makeup artist.

Aight.

Mind if I offer you a word of advice? :

RUN

“DUDE THAT’S AMAZING IT LOOKS SO SICK!”

Startled by someone’s loud booming voice, you smudged the eyeliner you were applying to your actor’s face all over their forehead. Whipping around to see who had disrupted your work you were faced with a beautiful black and grey haired owl. A rather tall... and very attractive ‘beautiful black and grey haired owl.’

He started walking around the dressing room like he owned the place, touching everything.

“Excuse me, you don’t have a badge. You can’t be backstage—!”

“Pretty obvious don’t you think, Miss ________?”

You didn’t take his bait, refusing to give this stranger your name. Bokuto shrugged.

“Well since I don’t know your name I shall label thee—Miss HOT GIRL of the 9 Kingdoms!” He nudged the knight actor who was sitting in your makeup chair with his elbow. “Did I sound 15th century ish or what??” The owl turned to you expecting to be praised. “I had to meet the person who made the medieval vampire look so scary in the last act. But that guy with the lights didn’t tell me anything about you being so hot.”

You were speechless because he was hot too

But he shouldn’t be back here so you tried to shoo him out anyway

He allowed you to try to shove him out but he was way bigger than you so nice try sis

When he yawned while you panted because you weren’t able to budge him an inch....

Bokuto wagered that he would leave if you agreed to make him look like the Hulk with your makeup skills for a Halloween party he had to go to

You didn’t really want to because you were a professional and you had no idea who this owl was but because you had 15 minutes until the second act and you needed peace and quiet if you were going to finish your job!!! ....

( This boy was not peace NOR quiet )

You agreed.... but because you answered so fast Bokuto kicked it up one notch

Prince of pushing his luck (king is reserved for Shōyo‘s extra ass)

He pretended to allow you to push him out of the makeup room a few steps but before you closed the door he stuck his foot between the door so it couldn’t close.

Smiling, he peered back in, looking down at you:

“AND...... you have to agree to go on a date with me. Tomorrow night?”

“Ugh FINE!”

Bo removed his foot and let himself out with a bounce in his step.

SERIOUSLY WHO LET THIS MAN BACKSTAGE......

Needless to say, after a few dates, mans won you over like he wins EVERYONE over

It surprised you how comfortable you became with him but he just has that affect on people

***

In terms of your athletic relationship Bokuto does many things:

He pushes you to go to the gym with him for one

He signs the two of you up for impromptu Beginner 30-day challenges that you both must stick to

So every morning for 30-days straight he jumps on you in bed to wake you up:

“NIN BABY TIME TO HIT THE GYM. BABY NIN TIME TO GET IN SOME SEXY GYM SHORTS. MON BÉBÉ NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN—“

“Kōtarō, please shut up.”

he doesn’t

He drags you there and eventually you get back into the swing of things.. killing it in the weight room with your supportive man cheering on your every rep!

You don’t even need him to wake you up during the second challenge!

Your volleyball player boyfriend also signs you up (without permission) for the neighborhood soccer team that Akaashi’s girlfriend is already on

You hated it at first because it was uncomfortable going back after not playing for so long but you soon realized that all the girls there were ex-athletes too and not stars

You formed amazing new girl friendships (especially with Akaashi’s gf) and double dates with them were one of your favourite nights of the week!

You owed that happiness in your life all to your Owl 🦉🥰

He and Akaashi came to every soccer game y’all had and you and the three of you went to all of Bokuto’s games, obviously

Btw you all were FITTTTTT OML

***

In addition...

You already know that your man finds your artistic talents insanely fascinating

On your first anniversary together Bokuto gifted you with a new paint set and new French stand:

Because he admires you Bokuto also tries to draw and paint seriously just like you

You stand over his shoulder and give him corrections and baby owl learns so fast it’s amazing

You two make ‘paint night’ a thing when you move in together and it’s always the most fun event!!!!

Bokuto CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY asks for you to add him to the comic you’re writing but you say no because he wouldn’t fit in

He sulks but one day you surprise him by showing him that you drew a cute soaring black and gray owl in the background of almost every outdoor scene in your comic,

you pointed out that it was him

BOKUTOOOO WAS SOOOOO HAPPY

HE WAS SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS

He called Akaashi right away and almost cried tears of joy hahahahaha

***

Your contingent based lifestyle has saved your reckless boyfriend’s life and career many-a-times

It’s one of the things he loves most about you.

Also, it is important to mention that he is in LOVE with your laugh

Bby owl does anything to hear it and showers your face with kisses when you laugh to draw it out

He loves you so freaking much

When you don’t make sense and speak gibberish in public because your awkward side randomly comes out......your boyfriend loves to make fun of you:

“Huh? Nin, that wasn’t Japanese, that wasn’t Thai and that definitely wasn’t English. What planet is my adorable baby girl from, again? And how do I return her in exchange for a floating space car instead?!”

suh cute

All of Bokuto’s teammates really like you because you work in conjunction with Akaashi which means you actually have the magic ability to get Bokuto out of emo mode even faster than his best friend 🤯🤯🤯

When he’s at an away game in emo mode his teammates will literally FaceTime you and point their phone in his general direction

“Hey, Kōtarō!!!! Look, Nin’s on the phoneeee!”

Bby owl turns around slowly when he was sulking in the corner and when he sees you on the screen he’s running and jumping on whoever is holding your phone.”

“Kōtarō baby. You’re going to stop this emo mode right now. If not I won’t let you paint me nude like we discussed.”

mans was like: 😨😨😨😨🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

YEP the next second you see him hitting his best practice spikes and his teammate thanks you profusely

You do this several times until Kōtarō just knows to not go into emo mode anymore because you won’t be happy

A year into his professional volleyball career The Black Jackal’s coach sent a surprise fruit bouquet to your work one time:

With a note that read:

To Nin,

Thanks.

Thanks a lot.

Love,

The Team

***

I know you don’t really like people who are considered “too loud” and Bokuto is like...... “MEGA LOUD 🎙 “ but you and Akaashi work together to quiet your boy down as he gets older

He’s perfect

And you love him

***

OKAY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST day THING:

You know how you like standing up for people (even strangers) and stuff?

Well one day, you and Bokuto get caught on a show called WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Where the two of you cussed out this cat-abusing actor on the show in a convincing scenario!

It was PRICELESS

Bokuto literally tells everyone that y’all are movie stars because of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

***

More in the relationship:

Bo is always singing with you 💞 when y’all make breakfast it becomes a national sport to sing at the top of your lungs!!

And when he sees you eat chips with chopsticks he’s pulling a Hinata “🤩🤩🤩” face .

He begs you to teach him how

So you try

......and try

..................and try

He can’t do it bruv 😞

You see bby Owl’s emo mode return for the first time in like a year when the chip shatters between his sticks again

This time, you have to enlist Akaashi as the FaceTime saviour and Keiji just tells him:

“Bokuto. You should prefer eating chips with your hands anyway. It gets to your mouth faster.”

cue Bo’s 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 face

........And all is well again

There’s more:

So you’re a workaholic?

Bokuto is fine with that. He just makes you promise that he gets to take you out on your lunch breaks a few times a week or whenever he can

He’s so sweet and your coworkers are BIG jealous of your relationship

Your man BEGSSSSS you to teach him Thai but you find it too hard so when he’s travelling on a long flight he spends the time learning the language on YouTube (and actually get decent at it) so that he can understand you when you’re sleepy😴🥺💕

When Bokuto surprises you by wishing you goodnight in Thai before he falls asleep (while you’re giving him head rubs), your heart explodes BECAUSE why is he the cutest thing in the world ?!?!?!

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION:

You don’t text/you’re bad at texting? That’s fine, mainly because bby owl is so busy with volleyball anyway, but if you don’t text him back when he is feeling needy the boy will call you 20 times in a row

When you finally pick up, your heart is beating like thinking it’s an emergency

But he will answer saying:

“Oh, no emergency. I just want booty pics. Please, Nin babyyyyy?”

you’re like: 😑

ANOTHER CUTE THING YOUR MAN DOES?????

AIGHT:

It’s cringey but.......

When you’re at work all day doing makeup and he’s home he will send you pics throughout the day of him taking care of your plants like they are y’alls newborn children:

His text:

Baby look!!! Ollie the Orchid grew to 7 inches today!!! Yesterday he was 6.8 inches!!!!! They grow up so fast 😭😭😭”

Your reply:

Not quite as long as your dick, Bo

His reply:

I hate when you get me horny when I’m trying to take care of the kiiiids 😭😭😭😭

Dkm

Of all the factors you look for in a man, Bokuto has all of them

Like I said he becomes much more mature when you and Akaashi are his closest compadres

What people don’t know is that Kōtarō is actually very mature he is just a hardcore optomist (besides emo mode lmao) so people often mistake him as immature or dumb

But He’s far from it and you see that everyday

It’s why you fell for him

When dealing with serious issues that life has to handle, you see a different side of Bokuto, a real side, the side he shows in every tough volleyball game when he makes you metaphorically step behind him so he can deal with any problem that comes your way

He would literally withstand all your battles if that meant you’d remain happy forever

We stan a relationship like yours💞

NSFW:

okay so you know how you chill in ballet 🩰 stretches sometimes?

THAT DRIVES KŌTARŌ WILD.

It turns him on so much and he is constantly testing how flexible you are in the bedroom

When you keep meeting his expectations he is POUNDING you cause he is so turned on

He fucking loves it

It also turns him on when you’ll be acting shy and stuff but then randomly you’ll lead your neighbourhood soccer team like a BAD BITCH

When he sees that he’s already asking Akaashi how long until the game ends because he’s horny:

Akaashi deadpans. “Too much information. And the game just started 3 minutes ago. Get a water and calm yourself.”

Bo is sad but it makes for one hell of a I’m-proud-of-you sexscape when you get home from your game!!

Your dirty jokes also turn Bokuto on.

A lot.

A lot a lot:

“Bo.....I was joking.”

“I know but if I hear the word ‘dick’ coming out of your mouth I automatically think of you blowing me so now I want us to go home.” He whines.

You sigh. He’s lucky he’s so fucking hot.

When you’re playing street fighter every night this boy will not leave you alone until you cockwarm him

“Nin can you pleaseeeeee warm my cock while you train? I miss you.”

Your concentration turns him on so he has to ask nicely 😊

You love his dick so of course you oblige

Bby owl is so happy just sitting there being in your company and in your warmth but sometimes or every time he ends up thrusting into you

Sometimes while he’s giving you deep slow thrusts he orders you to keep playing or he won’t get you off

Damn 🤤

Let’s not forget also that you drive your man wild by walking around the house in hoodies all the time and nothing else

Every day, another hoodie will be found in various RANDOM places in the house because Bo flings it off you before he makes love to you wherever, and they go missing

Finally, when you get all sad and pouty because one of your baker trials goes to shit (ruined chocolate brownies this time, boo 💔), your boyfriend is taking your hand gently in an instant, leading you to the bedroom:

“Don’t be sad my beautiful girl, you know how much I hate seeing you sad. It makes me sad.! Here, come in the room and sit on my face—I promise I’ll make you feel better.”

WELL DAMN—😳💦

Maybe you should screw up brownie recipes more often.

————————————

A/N: do you know the show what would you do??? Watch it on YouTube if you haven’t haha I couldn’t stop thinking about you and Bokuto being on it after reading your matchup profile!!!! I hope you liked it bb! Give me all your reactions, I want all the smoke 💞💞💞

#matchups #nin and bby owl #bokuto kotaro

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the-rings-system · 4 years

Note

Is it weird that all my alters kinda feel like me (the host)? I might have OSDD-1b and thought that all those people were just me with very weird mood swings. Now every one of my alters (we're 12+ ppl) knows what they like, what their personality is like etc but I don't anymore... I always thought that all of the others personalities were me but now I start doubting that and idk what is actually a thing I like etc... Any idea how to deal with that? I'm kinda lost atm...

If they all feel like you, you might fit the criteria for OSDD-1a or OSDD-1 (both!)

“Most commonly, this describes individuals who have dissociative parts that are not sufficiently differentiated to qualify as alters (sometimes known as OSDD-1a) or individuals who do not have amnesia between alters (sometimes known as OSDD-1b). Some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts, and other individuals with OSDD-1 have highly distinct parts but rarely or never switch between them.”

“For individuals with OSDD-1a, dissociated parts are more likely to present as the same individual at different ages, as the same individual in different modes, or as different versions of the same individual. The individual may go by the same name regardless of which part is present, and each part may view itself as the main part. However, parts may still have different skills, emotional reactivity, or ways of interacting with the world. ... For example, someone with OSDD-1a may have a work self, a family self, a 5 year old self, and an angry self in addition to several parts that hold trauma memories.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

But, what might help you more (because you sound lost on who you are individually) is more of identity based grounding, which is used during blurry moments.This is usually asking and answering self-based questions: What kind of music do I like? What is my favorite color? How old am I? Where do I live? What is my name? What is something I care about? Who is someone close to me? Do I like hot chocolate?

Also, it’s totally ok to like the same things as alters! Both Mia and Naiomi enjoy super mario bros a LOT, just in different ways!

Either way, you’re totally valid :)

#silver.speaks #Anonymous #ask

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littlealiengrl09 · 4 years

Text

TROS Review

Things I liked, things I didn’t like...and all the things in between.

- Kylo’s interest piqued when Palpatine said he could give him “everything”. if that hadn’t included rey, he would’ve been like “peace” but instead was all “aight ima head out and find rey.” lol

-Knights of Ren walking together like if they’re about to drop a “Backstreet’s back, alright!” cover :P

- “Knight of Ren. Goals.” XD Loved that stormtrooper.

- Kylo was hawt in that board meeting. Kylo/Adam is just hawt in general.

- My boy practically daring Hux to say shit about his helmet. XD

- Ren throwing that FO officer up to the ceiling.

- Rey’s training was cool

- Kylo and Rey were meditating right around the same time. Couple’s goals!

- The shared vision of the past/future! How does Rey not know they’re soulmates by this point?

- Very nice to see Leia again as well as how her relationship with Rey has progressed.

- Some...almost all of the humor in this movie was lackluster, including Poe and Rey’s frustrated banter with each other over the flaming falcon/BB-8 which I think was meant to be funny, but they talked over each other so much that sometimes you hardly understand them and just end up frustrated with both of them.

- So it seems like Finn might still have feelings for Rey. Not really sure how I feel about that. At one point, he says he wants to tell her something but wants to tell her alone. He never gets to. I assume it was to confess his feelings.

- XD Liiittle bit of Stormpilot. Haha Poe was so jealous. “What? You want to tell her when Poe isn’t around?”

- Reylo’s first force bond vision in over a year! Kylo just sounds so hawt speaking to her through his voice modulator.

- “I offered you my hand once before.” SOUNDS STRAIGHT FROM A VICTORIAN DRAMA PPL.

- “You wanted to take my hand back then so why didn’t you?” “You didn’t kill me back then? Why didn’t YOU?”

“You can’t keep running from me, Rey. I will turn you to the dark side and we’ll rule together. The next time I offer my hand, you’ll take it. ” “We’ll see.” -snatches Rey’s necklace off her neck- Kylo’s UST was showing in this scene.

- Sorry, I’m dumb but I found that scene hawt lol reminded me of that one scene from Phantom of the Opera (2004 movie).

- Rey force healing the desert serpent. I love her...but that was a very Mary Sue moment.

- Kylo walking unscathed like a boss out of the wreckage of his Silencer.

- The power struggle they both had over the FO ship.

- The longing on Kylo’s face as he watches Rey walk away. He sees the anguish on her face at the thought of losing Chewy and he just LETS HER GO. They’re enemies and he just lets her walk away. This man is so in love with her.

- Their force fight in Ren’s quarters/Kijimi.

- “I know where she’s at now. She was in my quarters.” :D Why do I feel like it made him a little happy to know she was in his private area/bedroom?

- Kylo takes off his helmet AGAIN just for Rey. Offers his hand to her again and asks her to join him.

- The Lando/Zorii/Jannah/Pryde cameos were alright but brought little to the story honestly.

- Ok...everyone kept saying that Finn was mad horny/flirting with everyone in this movie. LMAO Were we watching the same movie? Cuz he literally never flirts with anyone in this movie. Not once. Not even Jannah. They have a brief “moment” when they realize they’re both stormtroopers who deserted but I wasn’t getting romantic vibes or anything. They were just kindred spirits.

- Darth Rey was cool. Not sure why she had fangs briefly lol. Althought brief, the fight Rey had against Darth Rey was cool.

- Rey realizing that Kylo has arrived when he picks up the wayfinder she accidentally dropped.

- “The only way you’re going to Exogol is if it’s with me.” Baes stay together <3

- Proceeds to crush the wayfinder with his bare hand and brute strength. Why is everything about this man so hawt? XD I know I’m crazy! The thirst is real loool

- Kylo does some mad dodging in this scene

- Water fight was good

- Didn’t like that she stabbed him but made up for it by force healing him.

- “I did want to take your hand back then. Ben’s hand.”

- His face upon realization that she really does want him

- So he could’ve turned sooner if she had admitted she’s in love with Ben?

- That shot of Ben on the Death Star by himself with his knee bent looking like a lonely prince.

- Kylo’s talk with Han and how it mirrored their last talk.

- He calls him dad!

- The audience cheered when Kylo threw his lightsaber into the sea! XD

- Ppl weren’t lying when they said some stuff didn’t make sense in this movie. Maybe Rey’s mom had been a nobody but her dad certainly wasn’t. And why did they skip over the part we all clearly heard in the last movie about Rey being “sold for drinking money.”

- Jodie Comer as Rey’s mom! Love it! Great resemblance!

- Ben Solo gunning it with a blaster on his way to save his space bae!

- When I say Adam looks so good in this movie, I’m not kidding! He somehow looks even younger in this movie, including his scenes as Ben Solo!

- Loved the part of course the lightsaber trick Reylo did through the force dyad.

- Rey laying on the ground, weakly calling out to the force “be with me...” over and over again

- The audience cheered when Ben’s hand appeared at the edge of the ravine!

- The way he limps/drags himself over to Rey’s dead body. ;( I could hear him breathe Rey’s name quickly. And how he gently cradles her body. His hand so soft on her neck. Him glancing around for help before holding her tightly against his body. I teared up so much watching Adam in this scene. He’s such a phenomenal actor!

- The Reylo kiss! I always knew Rey would kiss him first. The way he throws his arm around her instantly. A group of Reylo girls cheered at this part! His beautiful grin and chuckle!

- The way the audience just gasped as they watch him lie back and fade away. :/

- He did finish what Darth Vader started. He gave his life for the woman he loved and could not live without. That kiss was probably the happiest moment of his life.

- Lame how we get little of Rey’s reaction and how instantly switches to party mode. -___-

- Not even one last force ghost moment between Kylo and Rey. They couldn’t even give us THAT.

Rating: 7/10

Was not a super amazing film. The pacing was off, so was some of the dialogue and that ending was atrocious. Bring Ben Solo back, Disney! #BenSoloDeservedBetter

BONUS: XD On a side note, I went to watch CATS with my friend to try to cheer up after TROS. There’s something wrong with my crazy ass cuz I see Reylo in everything including this movie. :P You guessed it. The black and white cat (named Victoria and Mistoffeles). There’s one scene where they nuzzle and my friend (who is an anti-reylo btw) out of now where says “I would like Kylo and Rey together if they nuzzled like that.” Lmao I was like wut XD

I thought about Ben Solo a lot on the way home. I’m thinking someday if I have a son I’ll name him Ben as a way to honor him. When I got home, I just felt so numb. I couldn’t even cross the threshold. I just stayed outside for a few moments. I just felt so hopeless, especially when I saw I couldn’t see any stars out at all tonight. I teared up again. That’s all I’ve been doing lately, evening during Ben’s death scene. I feel like I’ll start bawling any day now once more time passes.

Disney, do us all a favor. If you’re gonna upload TROS onto Disney + then at least upload it with an alternate ending. Give it to the fans. They deserve it after this torture train you’ve put them through with lie and empty promises. Ugh, I feel so empty. I feel like in losing Ben Solo I lost a part of myself/a family member. If anyone wants to talk about TROS/Reylo with me, message me so we can cry/hug/rant together about it.

#reylo #tros spoilers #ix spoilers #serious star wars spoilers #turn back now #otp #reylo scum #kylo ren x rey #ben solo x rey #bey

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somnilogical · 4 years

Text

what fills the abyss?

thinking of i am prepared to face god this instant:

| theres stuff people yell at the page of a book "dont give them the location of the rebel base!! even if they will kill you!! its simple utilitarianism!!"

| that when they are in a rebel story, they wont choose to do

| and its not because they have discovered that it is secretly best for the world

|| that actually this whole "choose to die so the population of the bay area will live" thing is bullshit.

||| and when faced with the situation they discover the true utilitarian calculus which says that they should live and have lots of babies.

| there is no reason written in the stars for human beings to choose to do what is best for the world

|| and many reasons why humans would not

|| most humans wont choose what is best for the world, even after "learning" about utilitarianism and tdt

|| a small minority of humans will choose closer to what is best for the world, even before "learning" about utilitarianism and tdt

||| this is historically observable, and in my experience their choices are not a fluke. they will generally make altruistic choices again and again. they will go back in time and do it over again.

||| the spectra of human responses to social reality telling them to hurt others show up in things like replications of the milgram experiment.

| between what people will yell at a hero to do and what they choose to do, there is a gap.

|| in a lot of people the gap is filled with excuses for why they chose what they chose.

||| things like "i am just fundamentally addicted to having babies, so to be altruistic i have to have them or i cant work" or "i need to have sex with young women so i can keep my confidence up and then later be super altruistic".

|||| two sides of the same coin, breeding.

| when i came to the bay area i was really confused why people would say things like "if you think the odds look too grim enjoy the time you have left" at winter solstice. or "smart people having babies is actually a galaxy brain way to save the world, the babies will save the world. you know, the baby army."

|| in a world in which the tradition and narrative by the majority of humans wasnt such that "have babies" was just a set thing you did. saying you are altruistic and then diverting your life path to spend an intense amount of time and energy and money on one particular human because they are genetically related to you, would seem like it would need justification.

||| similarly "oh i work at google" (which is one of the main machines powering the present omnicide.) in a sane world would elicit hushed whispers about how you are planning to sabatoge them without being captured by the system.

|||| like if you were working for a nazi munitions factory during world war II. instead of this world in which its something you just do, you know its a job. lots of nice smiling people work there and you have to feed your family.

|| and when i suggest that deleting genetic favourtism, so that no one could tell who they were genetically related to, would make the world a better place; people protested against this.

||| i wrote:

<<if humans were born into a world where they would rather die than see someone with blue hair harmed, or treated people with red hair as if they were as valuable as rocks, the world would be better off if the module that switched around personhood / moral relevance sensors depending on hair colour were turned off

being faceblind wrt 'who is my genetic relative?' seems like a similar gain in utility.

or if losing something sounds dismal, you could do a similar operation of turning on your 'this is a genetic relative' tagger for everyone. that might feel more warm of a thing to do?

this would free up so much energy and its super obvious that it would and i dont understand why people would be against it except for corrigibility issues. like "oh no if i dont think blues are special then blues might end up getting less resources and that would be terrible because blues are special to me!! i want them to have all the resources. also? it would make people want to give more resources to reds? ew. whats the point, its such a waste."

O humans, i think 'remove genetic discrimination y/n?' has a pretty straightforward answer!!!

id give everyone a button to do this. (i wouldnt give everyone a button that was like 'PRESS THIS BUTTON TO DIE INSTANTLY' even if it was keyed such that only the person targeted could press it. i would oppose someone who tried to give everyone such a button.)>>

||| sexual reproduction in the year 1200 would still happen because to not reproduce would be to doom humanity to extinction. but it would look a lot different than it does now, and the ways humans would make choices would be a lot different.

|| until i worked out that all of these were excuses constructed to fill in the gap between what someone would yell at a True Hero and what they would choose to do themselves.

in a world like this, their are attempts at every level to bury what someone running utilitarianism and altruism on their brains looks like. by the majority of humans who want to have something like "im def altruistic i swear i can prove it by all these metrics ppl around me has agreed mean that im working for the good of the world. im also totes addicted to babiez. *peace sign*"

when i say this sort of stuff people react like im trying to set up a norm where people are socially ostricisized. but like how would that work when social is overwhelmingly made up of people who made this exact choice?

im talking with humans who are aberrations from those who choose to be what the majority coercively designates to be "human".

i dont think everyone who chooses to not have babies has a neurotype such that they wouldnt zap someone in the milgram or be able to die rather than reveal the location of the rebel base. i dont even think its a particularly good indicator. i think both are indications of choosing not to work for the good of the world in a way sufficient for the doom our planet faces.

this is just one example, i focus on the babs side of the coin cuz for some reason "i need nubile fems to power mah komodo mojo to enter ultra altruism mode!!! >:DDD". has been locally socially cached as not actually sincere. and seems to actually have worse externalities in terms of sexual assault. though it not seeming credible might be because very few of the humans i talk with are normie cismasc. im not sure the extent to which people like katie cohen exist.

there are a lot of other instances of the gap, like "if you were a true altruist, you would optimize for welfare across all sections of the multiverse including here and now. why not "enjoy life"? you are a person too and it is good if you are happy. this is just how humans work." whenever people say this to me i got really confused because "enjoy life" as some sort of atomic thing abstracted from broader meaning of the arc of your lifes optimization doesnt really make sense to me.

what things mean matters to me, a similar mental glitch i think happens when people declare that there are "good things" and smile over "cute gifs of animals" like if i had saved an animal from being killed as an instrumental part of my optimization for bringing about a new multiversal order then i could feel happy. it matters what stuff is upstream of things cutting this structure off in order to try and make an action set existentially safe to do, to have a social contract where no one can punish you for doing something no matter what is upstream of it, is moving in a wrong direction.

often done by someone who wants to give people some sort of modular mitzvah thing that its definitely safe to perform and bring the world closer to dath ilan in a decentralized summoning ritual. a complementary error way to gum up peoples epistemics about what is just is to unboundedly keep insisting that there is more structure and nuance upstream of what they are doing that justifies (makes just) what they are doing. like how ▘▕▜▋ kept insisting that there was more nuance and reasons why beating emma with a stick was actually helpful to the world. if you just look at everything thats upstream.

both these strategies try to move the social equilibrium away from justice.

see what is upstream of stuff, search to find if the person seeking to kill a human is avenging the deaths of three others, fulfilling a timeless contract to save lives. look at who started it and who is optimizing for good ends.

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sleepy-space-nerd · 4 years

Note

yeah go with hamratio pls i sadly don't remember enough of your fav ship from latest sis to ask for anything else. tho u can also go with resol/renniw. I dont even remember if they're supposed to have a romo/sexual relationship so uh do the version u like best.

Awww yeah let’s do this!!!

HAMRATIO

General:

How long will they last? - Until they both die

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Fell in love extremely quickly but understood their feelings as love years later

How was their first kiss? - Awful. Sloppy teenagers. But they still liked it.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Hamlet! Fancy bitch!!!

Who is the best man/men? - Ros and Guil as one entity

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Ophelia

Who did the most planning? - Hamlet, he wanted EVERYTHING to be perfect! But Horatio did a lot too

Who stressed the most? - Horatio poor boy did the boring stuff and had to invite a lot of ppl he didn’t know!

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Laertes (he’s still mad about it)

Sex:

Who is on top? - They switch a lot, but usually Horatio

Who is the one to instigate things? - Hamlet, slut rights

How healthy is their sex life? - (Hamlet is a 9 but Horatio a 4. They make it work)

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - (Despite the rumors, Hamlet is not that kinky at all! Horatio just isn’t.) Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I have no idea what’s standard but like... yeah standard.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They WILL fight to make sure the other is getting plenty of orgasms

How rough are they in bed? - (Softest bitches out there. 2 bc Hamlet likes to try things sometimes.) Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - (Horatio isn’t too comfortable with PDA so when they’re alone they cuddle A LOT. Like. EXTREME CUDDLE TIME) No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 0 bc Hamlet doesn’t wanna bear children

How many children will they adopt? - They won’t adopt, but they’ll be parental figures for Ophelia’s child(ren)!

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Hamlet

Who is the stricter parent? - They’re all soft marshmallows no strictness in this house

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Horatio

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Horatio

Who is the more loved parent? - Even if the kid is Ophelia’s, it’ll probably be cool uncle Hamlet

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? what is PTA im french

Who cried the most at graduation? - Hamlet, emo bitch

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hamlet, be gay do crimes

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Horatio. He’s not the best cook but Hamlet just. doesn’t cook. at all

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Hamlet

Who does the grocery shopping? - Hamlet since he’s not the one doing the cooking

How often do they bake desserts? - Very often! They both like sweets!

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Hamlet is a meat lover. Horatio can’t decide.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Horatio

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hamlet

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Hamlet

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both

Who is really against chores? - Hamlet

Who cleans up after the pets? - Hamlet

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Hamlet

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Horatio

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Horatio

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hamlet, always extra

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - First of all they have a cat, so nobody

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They decorate for Halloween and a very special holiday called “that day I beat Laertes in a duel”

What are their goals for the relationship? - They hope they can live together until the end of their lives without anybody bothering them

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Hamlet

Who plays the most pranks? - Hamleeeeeeeeeet

Resol x Renniw (OCs)

General:

How long will they last? - Maybe not forever, especially since one is a criminal, but they will always have a place at the back of each other’s minds

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - They’re not in a romantic relationship and it’s based on misunderstandings but... Renniw liked Resol quickly! Resol still tries to tell himself he doesn’t like Renniw

How was their first kiss? - Hasn’t happened (yet? idk)

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 0

How many children will they adopt? - A ton. They have a bunch of love to give and Resol wants to love his children SO MUCH bc his parents were terrible to him

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Resol

Who is the stricter parent? - Resol will tell them that lying and stealing is bad and then put on a cape and go take a supermarket hostage just to steal some lollipops

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - BOTH

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Renniw

Who is the more loved parent? - Both, come on!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? again, im french idk what that is

Who cried the most at graduation? - Renniw (Resol cried the same amount but after graduation, in the bathroom)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Resol since he already bullshits his way through the law

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - None realy...

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Renniw

Who does the grocery shopping? - Resol, but he’ll come back with only instant noodles

How often do they bake desserts? - They don’t bake but Resol will steal some desserts to give Renniw

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - They both try to eat less meat for the environment but they have the eating habits of college freshmen so....

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Resol! It won’t be legal but it WILL be fun!

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Renniw

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Both...

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Resol, he can’t live in a dirty place

Who is really against chores? - None of them, they know they have to do it anyway

Who cleans up after the pets? - Resol since it’s his cat!

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Nobody

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - None, but Resol will hide as long as possible. It’s not stress, he just doesn’t like people in general.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Renniw. It was a stollen dollar Resol forgot.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - They shower together to save up water and money so it’s the same time

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Resol has a cat who’s very independant.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Renniw does it for every holiday! Resol goes full decoration mode for Halloween ONLY

What are their goals for the relationship? - Renniw wants to get past Resol’s walls and get to know him better. Resol wishes they could stay like that forever but know that one day, he’ll have to say it’s over between them. He doesn’t want to think about it.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Renniw maybe? Resol is an early bird

Who plays the most pranks? - Well, Resol, kinda obvious

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