#i know there's like. a lot of angsty things with this kind of premise. and i support that. but a black comedy would also be really funny
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silly au where hunter can also see the other golden guards but all they do is annoy him
#theyd be ghosts in this BUT in canon im not sure whether or not belos was hallucinating them so.#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#hunter#golden guard#golden guards#grimwalkers#avepharts#no serious art at the moment sorry my brain's just giving me sillies#anyway it's giving kind of fucked up sitcom#i know there's like. a lot of angsty things with this kind of premise. and i support that. but a black comedy would also be really funny#angst and humour babey#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers
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Thinking about the actual living arrangements between Wu Yanzi and Shen Jiu is interesting, because I would think that Wu Yanzi should be more than a little concerned that his new apprentice might decide to turn that bloody sword on him sooner or later.
Putting this below a cut because I'm talking about child abuse here.
You can come up with all sorts of angsty, abusive behavior for Wu Yanzi on the premise that he's afraid of what Shen Jiu might do, simpler examples being things like "he might have made Shen Jiu sleep outside if he was ever taking a room at an inn" and "he might have regularly taken all of Shen Jiu's belongings away because he couldn't 'trust' his disciple with them". More extreme, antagonizing examples being things like "he might have tied Shen Jiu up at night like a dog" or "he might have planted some kind of talismans that prevented Shen Jiu from coming near him or from leaving a small space". He might have even been "matter of fact" about it. Not obviously taking pleasure in a "necessary measure".
I don't think Wu Yanzi treated Shen Jiu like complete shit all the time, I think it probably would have depended on his moods, as it does with many abusers. I just think it's interesting to think about why exactly young Shen Jiu was "terrified to death" of this person. There has to have been a line of "worth putting up with this to learn some cultivation techniques" keeping Shen Jiu from deciding to just risk it and try to kill Wu Yanzi (the line ends up being Yue Qi at the Conference).
It's possible that Wu Yanzi treated Shen Jiu kind of okay most of the time, actually, trusting in his young apprentice's fear without relying on any kind of physical abuse. At the beginning, Wu Yanzi is something of a cultivator and Shen Jiu is not. By forcing Shen Jiu to participate in his foul crimes, he makes it harder for Shen Jiu to leave him, because now Wu Yanzi can threaten to TELL PEOPLE what Shen Jiu has done. And seeing Wu Yanzi kill people in horrific ways such as the Cursed Black Light talismans functions as a very effective threat by itself. "Behave or I'll kill you," is probably all the rope that Wu Yanzi would need to tie Shen Jiu up at night, honestly, stopping his apprentice from killing him in his sleep. Verbal threats and abuse are more than enough, especially when said by an actual murderer.
I think it's interesting to think about the different ways that abuse manifests, and how the different styles of abuse from Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi might have affected Shen Jiu. We don't see a lot of Shen Jiu's life with Wu Yanzi, so we don't know whether or not his behavior was playfully cruel or tersely paranoid or coldly detached. It's easier to draw links between Shen Jiu's abusive treatment of Luo Binghe and Qiu Jianluo's abuse of Shen Jiu.
Anyway, I was thinking about this because I was thinking about more Canon Divergence AUs for Qijiu. Like, what if, after killing Qiu Jianluo, Shen Jiu gets a taste of what his life will be like under Wu Yanzi and throws caution to the wind to murder this guy? He desperately wants to learn cultivation, yes, but he doesn't want another master. Maybe there's some bounty on Wu Yanzi's head and Shen Jiu decides to take it, and hopefully leverage the kill as his legitimate entrance into the cultivation world?
I'm wondering how easy it would be to somehow get Shen Jiu to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect when Yue Qi has been trapped in the Ling Xi caves. I don't think that Shen Jiu would be happy about Yue Qi's imprisonment at all. That could end up being a very dramatic rescue.
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Hi y’all! This is my last unprompted angsty fic for a little! Gonna go back to our usually scheduled hijinks that are sitting in my request pile, I wanted to do this one first.
I write all these as a way to deal with things that happen in my own life, whether it’s stressing about school and work, stupid romance, great romance, family, health, whatever, and I wanted to say (yet again) thank you for all the support. Sometimes I still can’t believe that you all like what I write but hey, there ya go
It’s funny, because my most popular fics are the ones that have been written directly out of my actual life. The ones that start out hard-to-deal-with, or with real, palpable heartbreak. The endings are often different because real life isn’t guaranteed a happy ending, but I’m allowed to take the past and see what it would be like if things went differently.
My characterization of Jamie is based on the only person I’ve ever really loved, which is why I can write his voice so clearly. I first watched Ted Lasso and was surprised at how similar they were, stupid hair and all. A lot of these fics are my way of archiving our story and immortalizing parts of it, as well as reminding myself that the love was there. It didn’t last and it wasn’t supposed to, but it was there.
Now, what’s real and what’s fiction? I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but I will say that it’s more than you might think and less than you might hope for.
So if you read this current fic and think, “huh, that was a really specific premise,” well I got news for you! It is. I’m in the first part of my journey on this, the early stages, and this story is not the way I want things to go for me. But I’m hoping that by creating a good ending out of a rough beginning, I can better face whatever lies ahead for me whether I approach it on my own two feet or with the assistance of some really sick wheels.
Anyway, enjoy this or skip it, it won’t hurt my feelings!
how to love being alive
Jamie’s at training when he gets the call. He barely registers the words on the other side when he’s cursing something awful, enough to make Roy Kent blush, and saying something about an emergency before speeding out the door. He pauses for a moment to look up an address in his phone, then he’s tearing out of the parking lot in a manner that puts Colin to shame.
To summarize, he’s not acting like himself.
He pulls up to a chiropractor of all places and the girl at the front desk must be able to tell who he’s here for because she just points to a door down the hall. Jamie’s pretty sure he’s never moved this quick in his life and wonders if this could translate to the pitch. Sure he’s fast, but he could always be faster.
He bursts through the door to see you borderline catatonic, staring at the floor while a doctor pats your arm. She looks at Jamie and says, “Let’s chat for a minute outside,” before he has a chance to say a single thing. Jamie can’t tear his eyes away from you as the doctor leads him out and shuts the door.
“Thought emergency contacts were for like, hospitals and shit,” he says.
The chiropractor shakes her head. Jamie notes that her name tag says “Dr. Hadley,” and has a vague memory of you mentioning her a few months ago.
God, it feels like a lifetime ago.
“We’re not confident she’s in a fit state to get herself home,” Dr. Hadley says. “Her headspace is a little messed up, which is to be expected. Usually people come to these types of appointments with some moral support.”
Jamie asks, “What kinds of appointments?” and Dr. Hadley tilts her head at him.
“You are Mr. Tartt, aren’t you?” she asks and Jamie just scoffs because he can’t decide between responding obviously, or telling her no, he’s not Mr. Tartt, that’s his father. He’s just Jamie.
Dr. Hadley knows who he is because she doesn’t live in a hole in the ground, so she doesn’t ask for identification. She takes his scoff as permission to keep talking, so she says, “She’s here for her MRI results. We’ve been in the process of treating a protrusion on her spine.”
Jamie is positive everyone in this office must think he’s on drugs because Dr. Hadley is talking like he’s supposed to know this, but for the life of him he knows you’d never said a thing.
“Your girlfriend has been in a severe amount of pain over the last few months, and we’ve finally been able to see the extent of the problem. Apparently she thought it would just go away, but it never did. So now she’s here with us.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie says automatically. Because it’s true, innit? You’re not. You’ve been broken up for a month because he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take the irritation at attending his matches and the tossing and turning in bed at night and the fact that you were wound so tight that you’d snap at the most minor offenses.
You hadn’t been surprised when Jamie said he couldn’t do it anymore, it’s over, and at the time he had wished that you’d shown just a tiny sliver of emotion. After all, a year and two months is a long time to be with someone for you to coldly slide him his key and then turn away as though he were a stranger.
He could have sworn there was a glimmer of tears in your eyes, but they’d looked that way for a bit now so maybe it was just allergies. There’s no reason for you to have been in the verge of tears for the entire month before the breakup, right?
Right.
But he can’t think about that now because Dr. Hadley is frowning at him in a way that so comically reminds him of Roy’s sister that he has to bite back a laugh.
Everything’s all twisted.
“I certainly hope your split was amicable,” Dr. Hadley says. “You’re the only one listed as her emergency contact. She needs someone to get her home safely.”
“Right,” says Jamie. “Yes. Fuck. Right. Um, what exactly is wrong with her?”
Dr. Hadley shakes her head. “That’s her personal information to share with you at her prerogative. And we should probably go see her, I’m sure she doesn’t want to be alone for long.”
Jamie snorts at that. This doctor doesn’t know you at all. If you’ve received any type of bad news the last thing you want is people hanging around.
Jamie used to pride himself on being the only one you’d let into the bad-new bubble.
You don’t count with those other people, you’d said once while wrapped around Jamie so tight he thought he’d have to call Ted to bring a crowbar. You said, I don’t have to pretend around you. I don’t ever get tired of you.
Jamie bitterly thinks that that statement turned out to be a lie, but he shakes it off because you’ve only been separated a month, and apparently he’s still your emergency contact for a doctor he didn’t know you had been seeing and fuck if you didn’t look like the most pitiful thing he’d ever seen. He’ll pretend it’s ok for as long as it takes to get you home and comfortable, and then he’s calling this office to get his number switched off.
So he follows Dr. Hadley back into the room as she softly says your name in order to break whatever trance has you studying the carpet like your final exam is in ten minutes.
You can barely look at her as she whispers something about going home and being gentle, to which you nod and finally look at Jamie.
He wonders if you recognize him, because the stare you have is so vacant that you might as well be looking at a stranger.
“Is she on drugs?” he asks because it looks like you’re on drugs.
Dr. Hadley shakes her head and holds out her arm to help you up. “No, she’s just in a lot of pain. And emotional distress. It’s a killer combo, and she’ll need extra gentle handling for a while. No sitting for too long, no bending, no lifting. There’s a back support at the front desk for you to take.”
Jamie thinks he hears something pointed in the way Dr. Hadley says, extra gentle. What, like he doesn’t know how bad an injury can take you out? He’s in the Premier League for fuck’s sake. He knows how to deal with a strained muscle.
Dr. Hadley transfers your arm over to Jamie’s so smoothly that he barely understands what’s happening as she ushers you both out the door, thrusting a small foam roll into Jamie’s free hand.
“For lumbar support,” she says. “Won’t help much, but it’s better than nothing.”
Jamie’s pretty sure he’s said thanks as you climb in the car and then he’s in the drivers seat and it’s dead quiet.
“Right,” he says to the silence. “What the fuck.”
You’re picking at your nails something fierce. Jamie has to fight the urge to take your hand in his. A month of separation is not long enough for this shit.
“Can you just drive?” you ask in a broken voice. “I don’t want to be sitting for longer than I have to.”
There’s a new pitch in your voice, one Jamie’s never heard before, so he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t turn on the radio or a playlist or a podcast or anything, just drives in silence. He knows if it’s quiet long enough, you’ll talk.
He’s the opposite. He doesn’t need time to crack wide open, just a kind touch or a soft glance and he’s an open book. He was always shocked how early into your relationship you’d figured that out. A soft, “What’s on your mind, Jaim?” and he was unloading about whatever stress or fear he had.
He’s two minutes away from your flat when you break the silence. “I have gradual onset paralysis,” you say in a voice devoid of emotion. “‘Gradual onset’ means it happens over time. Paralysis means, well…paralysis.”
Jamie can hear what you’re saying and he understands it, but what catches him is the way you’re like nothing more than a hollow body. Not cracking a joke, not picking a fight. Just- empty.
Jamie says a long and drawn out “Fuuuckk,” because what else can you say? It’s not really his business to comfort you or to pry, except he’s the one the doctor called, so he allows himself one question.
“How did it happen?”
Last he knew, you were healthy as a horse.
“Two disks in my spine popped,” you reply, still in that same awful emotionless voice. “They’re not really sure how, could’ve been any number of things. Anyway, it got into my nerves. And my spinal cord. And it’s messing things up and it’s only going to get worse. The scans were to see if they could operate, because sometimes you can remove the shards. Or whatever it is. But I guess they can’t, because if they tried I’d definitely be paralyzed. So all I can do now is be in pain and wait for my legs to shut down.”
Jamie doesn’t know how to respond to any of that but he’s saved from thinking of an adequate response because he’s at your flat.
It was smart of you not to sell it when you’d moved in with Jamie. He wonders if you knew the breakup was inevitable.
He hops out and opens the door like a gentleman, offering his hand like he’s some Mr. Darcy-type shit, except you had both agreed that Roy was Mr. Darcy and he was Bingley. So it doesn’t fit at all except as soon as you’re done clutching his hand so you can get out without unnecessary pain, his hand flexes itself like he’s in that damn movie.
It wasn’t even a conscious choice, just a thing his hand decided to do, and he definitely thinks he’s going to have to talk to Ted about this. Or maybe Sam. Sam knows shit and is good at empathy. Maybe he’ll know what to say when your ex-girlfriend tells you she’s not going to walk ever again.
Jamie follows you to the door as you fiddle with the lock and push it open with a sigh. For a moment he doesn’t know if he should go inside, but it smells like honey and cinnamon because it’s the beginning of fall and he thinks that he should at least make sure you’ll be alright.
He notices you’re moving weird. All stiff, like. You’re trying to get an icepack out of the freezer but you can’t maneuver in a way that’s comfortable so Jamie grabs it and hands it to you.
You mumble, “Thanks,” and Jamie catches a glimpse of the perpetual glimmer in your eye.
“D’you need me to call someone?” he asks. “I can get Keeley down here. Or fucking… Ted. Or Colin.” He doesn’t say Sam, because he needs Sam. He can’t talk to Sam if he’s here with you.
You shake your head. Jamie wonders if it hurts to talk, but he remembers how much you hate the sound of your voice when you’re crying.
You take a slow, shallow breath to collect yourself. “I’m ok,” you finally say. “Not much anyone can do, and you’ve got training. I- I didn’t know they’d call you. I still have to switch your number with someone else. I’m probably going to ask Keeley since my family’s still far away.”
“Right,” Jamie says. Not much else to say. Except-
“You were seeing that bone doctor when we were together, and you didn’t fucking say anything?”
It’s accusatory and he knows it, but he can’t for the life of him say it kinder. Ted’s always on about communication and shit, and that is not communication.
You shuffle over to the couch and use it to help you lay face down in the floor. The icepack is precariously balanced on the small of your back.
“Didn’t know how to tell you,” comes your muffled voice. “Least, I figured out how to tell you too late. What was I gonna say, ‘Sorry I’ve been a complete bitch to you for four weeks, I’ve got shit floating around in my spine that makes me hurt so bad I want to die?’ Sounds fucking stupid.”
Jamie wants to say, Swear jar because it’s a long-standing joke, but he catches the words right before they reach the tip of his tongue.
“You could’ve said something,” he replies instead. “Chronic pain’s shit. It’s really shit and it makes you act like shit to the people you care about. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason.” As the words are coming out of his mouth, Jamie is reminded of a time when the roles were reversed, and you were giving him the “excuse versus reason,” speech.
You’d said, You’re dad’s an abusive prick, Jamie. Makes sense that you’d have a lot of negative emotions.
Fuck, if only you’d said something sooner. Maybe this would be something that you’d be cracking jokes about, or Jamie would be holding your hand, or he’d be laying right next to you as he runs his fingers through your hair.
But your muscles spasm so that thought gets banished as you bite on your forearm in an effort not to yell.
“Fucking hell,” Jamie says. “I don’t think you’re sorted on your own. I’m calling Ted.”
He walks to the other room so he can pretend he can’t hear your protests.
—
Ted leaves training to Roy, Beard, and Nate. What’s the point in having four coaches if one of ‘em can’t leave for family emergencies?
Sure, you’re not actually family, but that’s Ted for you. He doesn’t do casual friendships.
Jamie is out the door like a shot as soon as Ted knocks with a “Sorry, coach,” that Ted barely has a chance to wave off.
Ted doesn’t say much once he’s inside, just rambles on about training and Kansas and Henry. He’s clattering around in your kitchen and you can’t find it in yourself to care what he’s doing so you just keep laying on the floor, willing your back to stop hurting.
Finally, he comes over and sets down a smoothie in a short glass with a straw.
“It’s so you can drink it without moving,” he explains.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you say more to the couch legs than to Ted.
He sighs from where he’s crouched down next to you. “You don’t really have a choice, darlin’. You have to do this. The question is, are you gonna go through it alone?”
You shrug as best as you’re able.
“Wrong answer,” says Ted, standing up. “You’ve got a whole crew of people here who are gonna root for you and support you with whatever you need. All you got to do is ask, sweetheart.”
Ah, fuck, you’re crying again and Ted can definitely tell because your shoulders are shaking. He’s pretty sure you’d want to save face so he stands up and says, “Beard’s coming over after training. Says he wants to figure out how to modify your house for a wheelchair or something. Thought I’d make us all dinner so we’re not so hangry when he mentions taking an ax to anything.”
The mental image of Coach Beard chopping down your stairs is enough to make you smile a little through your tears.
—
Waiting is really shitty. Like, really shitty. Every day is the same thing: tingly legs, shooting pains, phantom cramps. The worst was when Dani and Richard were over and you stood up to get something from the fridge, and your legs decided at that moment to lose feeling. You panicked with your arms held out for balance as you swayed back and forth for a moment, willing your feet to fucking move. They did, but not before Dani and Richard were on you in a flash, ready to catch you if you fell.
“Well that was weird,” you joke in an effort to cut the tension. They laugh, but you still catch their worried glance.
“You do not have to put on a brave face for us,” Dani says. “If you want to joke, we will joke. But if you want to cry, we will cry too.”
“You can cry,” Richard says, “I will just pour more wine.”
You laugh. There’s been a steady stream of Greyhounds at your flat for the last week and a half. Everyone and their mother (quite literally) has come by to see you. Your own parents were coming in a week to stay indefinitely while you sorted things out.
You wonder if it’s easier to lose control of your legs slowly or all at once? On the one hand, you at least have notice. But on the other hand, the long, drawn-out waiting feels like slow torture. Every day you wake up from restless sleep and experimentally wiggle your toes. Every day, you check off one more box on your mental calendar as you count down to a date that doesn’t even properly exist.
The only person who hasn’t visited is Jamie. You don’t blame him, though. Keeley’s come round almost every single day and has been successfully switched to your emergency contact. She’s the one you’re calling as soon as you discover you can’t move.
You’re pretty sure it’s getting closer. Your legs fall asleep more frequently and things are all numb. It’s like you know you’re in pain, but it’s not quite registering with your nerves.
It fucking sucks.
—
You don’t believe in intuition like spirits and all that, but you believe in it in that your brain can pick up things that you couldn’t if you were actually trying.
That’s why you’re pretty sure this is it.
Walking is pretty much a no-go right now, so you stiff-leg yourself to the couch and sprawl out as comfortably as you can.
You call Keeley, and she’s over in no time.
“Hi babes,” she says as soon as she’s through the door, “Can I call Rebecca for girls’s night?”
“Sure,” you say, “Might as well live it up.”
Keeley replies, “Great! She’ll be here in ten minutes,” and you laugh, really actually laugh, because of course Keeley’s already called her.
Rebecca swoops in all smiles and no sympathy which is great because if one more person pushes their lower lip out at you, you’re going to scream. She’s brought drinks and Keeley’s pulling out snacks and you’re going to talk and giggle until you fall asleep, ready for what the morning has.
“Is Shandy making a move on that one player?” Rebecca asks Keeley from the couch.
“Nah,” Keeley calls back, “He said he wasn’t interested right now. Still hung up, I think.”
“What player?” you ask. You know what Shandy’s like, and you feel for the poor guy.
Rebecca and Keeley are silent before Keeley says, “You wouldn’t know him.”
“Bullshit,” you reply. “I know everyone on that team and I know you haven’t signed anyone new recently. Is it Colin?”
Rebecca shakes her head and gives Keeley a look. Keeley shrugs. “You’re the one who brought it up, babes.”
Rebecca turns to you. “It’s Jamie,” she says. “She’s been trying to bag him ever since Zava showed up.”
You shake your head. “She’s not right for him. He deserves someone better than that.”
Keeley’s back from the kitchen and scrutinizing your expression. “And what exactly do you mean by better?” she asks.
You laugh. “Oh no, not me. I wasn’t talking about me. No, I’m not- he needs someone different. Like, I don’t know, Roy’s sister, maybe? She’s great and a doctor to boot. Very caring too.”
“You’re caring,” Keeley says slowly, “And anyway, Molly doesn’t like him like that. They’re just friends.”
“Hang on, are you putting yourself in the same bracket as Shandy?” Rebecca interjects.
You shrug. “I was a complete bitch the last month we were together. There’s no excuse for it. I’m just surprised he lasted as long as he did.”
“You were in fucking pain!” Keeley exclaims. “You said you weren’t sleeping and everything fucking hurt and you couldn’t even think straight.”
You grab a handful of candy from a bowl. “Keels, I appreciate the sentiment, but I majorly fucked it. Like, there’s no going back. So he can date whoever he wants as long as it’s not fucking Shandy. Can we please, please move on?”
Rebecca’s eyes are narrowed but they both acquiesce. “Keeley, what about your love life? I’m sure it’s boring as usual.”
Keeley shrieks and smacks her with a pillow. “Fuck off,” she replies. “I’ll have you know it’s going very well…”
—
You were right. You wake up still on the couch tangled in Keeley’s arms, and the standard toe-wiggle just… doesn’t happen. It’s quiet, the early morning type, the kind where the sunlight isn’t so harsh and birds are chirping softly and all of Richmond hasn’t quite got up to begin their day.
As you look at your unmoving toes, the first thing you feel is a rush of relief. The waiting’s over, you think.
You look over to the wheelchair that’s been leaning patiently against the wall all this time. Here’s the first day of forever. You’re in no rush for it to start, so you let Keeley’s little snores and Rebecca’s heavy breathing lull you back to sleep.
—
It’s definitely a learning curve. And it’s frustrating. And if one more person catches you crying out of sheer rage, you’re going to start throwing things. But like Ted said, you don’t really have a choice.
Your mom said, “The only way out is through,” then grinned at the murderous glare you shot her way. She opened her phone and pulled up a picture of you, age three. “Same lovely expression as always,” she remarks cheerfully. That cracks your frown. You always were a funny kid.
It takes a while to figure out how to get places. Keeley (the absolute angel) volunteered, but she’s busy with the PR firm and quite frankly, a little too delicate to help you into a car. You made the mistake of saying this exactly one time and because subject to a rant about how she’s “not weak, just PETITE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!”
Roy had punctuated her argument with a couple “That’s fucking right, babe"s all while rolling his eyes behind her back. It made you giggle.
The general consensus was that at any given reasonable hour (or unreasonable if you’re Richard or Bumbercatch) a Greyhound or coach would be able to get you where you’re needed. And today, that place is Nelson Road.
“How often does Jamie come visit?” Jan Maas asks, straightforward as ever.
“Um, never,” you reply. “We broke up, remember?”
“Right,” agrees Jan Maas. “We all know that, I just assumed you had gotten back together.”
You laugh. How absurd. “And why on earth would you assume that?”
“Because he talks about you all the time,” comes his prompt reply.
Huh. That’s interesting. You haven’t received so much as a single emoji from Jamie, but hadn’t thought a thing of it. But this, this is strange. This does not fit into your idea of how broken up people act.
“Weird,” you say. “Wonder what the fuck that’s about.”
Jan Maas shrugs and moves to lift you from the car.
—
It’s weird to be at Nelson Road, number one because it’s been FOREVER, number two because you’re eye-level with all sorts of things you’d never noticed before (ahem, part of the wall Roy kicked that no one cared to patch up), and number three because the last time you were here, it was as Jamie Tartt’s girlfriend.
Jan holds open the door as you roll in, ready to face whatever lies in wait.
It turns out whatever is a very excited Ted and Beard as well as a neutral Roy who present you a coaching jacket and a whistle.
“You’re coaching with us today because that little rat bastard Nate went to the dark side,” Beard says.
You remark, “Tell us how you really feel,” earning a snort from Roy and a chuckle from Trent Crimm.
“Oh yeah,” Ted says, “this is Trent. He’s writing a book.”
“Cool,” you say, “but you do know I know jack shit about coaching?”
Beard shrugs. “Neither do we. Worked out pretty well so far.” That earns another snort from Roy.
“Right,” you say. “Well, I guess I’m up for anything.”
“You mean ‘down,’” says Ted. “Oh I’m sorry, is it too soon?”
“Never,” you reply. “It’s never too soon to make trauma-related puns and this world, it’s either laugh or cry. So fuck it, I’m going to laugh.”
“Fuck yes,” grunts Roy before turning on his heel to yell at the team to GET THE FUCK ON THE PITCH YOU LITTLE PRICKS!
—
You don’t do much except sit there and watch as the coaches yell and point and run drills. It’s a chore to remind yourself not to check out Jamie’s butt as he runs by so you start thinking not yours, not yours, like a mental mantra.
He’s not looking at you so you won’t look at him and you’re sure it won’t be a problem because there are so many people to look at and talk to, except lunch rolls around (haha) and you sit at the head of a table and Jamie’s on the bench right next to you. So. There goes the no eye-contact plan.
You take exactly two bites of your sandwich before thinking fuck this and pushing yourself back so you can roll away. You can just take the elevator to see Becca.
You’ve made it a good way down the hall when you hear Jamie calling your name while saying, “Wait,” so you move a little faster.
But it’s still new and you’re painfully reminded that arms are not legs so he catches you with ease.
“The fuck are you running away for?” he asks, and you want to point out that technically, you weren’t running. Metaphorically though, he’d be right.
“I’m not running,” you reply. “I was just going to see Rebecca.”
“Bullshit,” he says. “I know you, and that was running. Is it because of me?”
“No,” you say, and you realize how much you’ve been looking up today. Your fucking neck needs a break so you rub it and look straight ahead, past Jamie at a life-size decal of O’Brien on the opposite wall.
“Why would I be running away from you? You’re not- I’m the shitty ex in this situation. I’m the one who fucked things up, Jamie, so… you don’t have to like, pretend that it’s your problem. I actually think it would be better if you were just mad and avoided me instead of whatever the hell is currently happening.”
Jamie rubs his jaw. He should be exasperated, he should, but instead the gears in his mind are turning. A few words stick out to him and then it’s like the final puzzle piece has clicked into place.
“Hang on,” he says slowly. “Hold the fuck up. Did you mess things up on purpose?”
The moment the words are out of his mouth he wants to take them back and apologize, because there’s no way they’re actually true, except you have a look on your face that can only be described as guilty.
“Fuuckkk,” Jamie breathes out and you hurriedly interject, “It wasn’t intentional! At least, not at first. It started because I was irritable because I hurt a lot, and then I convinced myself that I was faking it so I got mad at myself for being a little liar. And then I couldn’t sleep because I hurt so bad and everything was making me uncomfortable so I started snapping at you. I noticed it pretty quick so I figured I’d get the pain checked out and sorted because I didn’t think pulled muscles were supposed to last this long. And it turned out that it wasn’t a pulled muscle but some of my disks were all weird, and then one day in between physical therapy and the chiropractor, I fell on my back and jostled everything wrong and it fucking popped.”
Jamie thinks he knows exactly when that was. He remembers you saying something about falling while walking to your car after work and him asking if you needed ice. It was at the tail end of things, and he’d taken your stiffness figuratively as opposed to literally. Like, you were acting all cold because you hated him, not because you couldn’t move.
“So,” you continue, “I just leaned into it. I mean, Dr. Hadley was only one of my doctors, but she’s the one who told me I- you know, could end up like this. She said if things popped and it got into my spinal cord or fluid or whatever and they couldn’t get it out, it was only a matter of time before it messed everything up. They only way to stop it at that point would be to not move so either way, I end up stuck.”
You half-sob, half-laugh. “I didn’t know how to tell you and I could tell you were already annoyed with me so I just decided to let it happen. You’re better off without me, anyway. I hate asking for help and I hate when people give me empathetic looks or what-fucking-ever, and I was going to have to ask you for a lot of help. You don’t even fucking have time for that, Jamie.”
Jamie is at a loss for words, and you’ve run out of things to say.
You stare at each other in the hallway by the elevator, breathing heavily. You’ve both triggered each other’s fight-or-flight response, and it seems you’re both down for a fight.
“Right,” Jamie says finally, “ok, yeah, ok. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to have to deal with this?”
You nod.
“Right,” he says again. “That’s fucked up.”
You don’t respond and he looks at you closely. “You know that’s fucked up, yeah?”
You shrug.
“Jesus, babe.” Jamie runs his hands through his hair. He’s going to have to fix his headbands. “Alright,” he says yet again, “look. Dr. Sharon and me- we talk. And, you’re supposed to be able to talk to people about shit like this. Like, me playing football isn’t supposed to mean I don’t have time for the people I love. And if you’re feeling that way or if you’re hurting, you have to tell me so I don’t think you’re being all pissed off because you hate me. That’s the whole point of love, babe. You take care of each other’s shit.”
“Jamie, I can’t get places easily anymore. I can’t drive and I can’t go up steps. I will never be able to storm the pitch to kiss you or walk with you in Brazil. I get mad really easily because everything’s so fucking frustrating and I just want to punch something.” You shake your head. “You don’t deserve any of that. You need someone who can be there for you and isn’t a total pill to be around.”
“Are you fucking trying to push me away?” he asks.
“Yes!” you exclaim. “Obviously!”
“Well fucking don’t. You almost had me the first time, but good luck getting rid of me now.”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
“For fuck’s sake, just kiss,” groans Will, walking by with an armful of laundry.
“Fuck off, William!” you both say in unison and then Jamie’s on one knee, eye-level with you and brushing a thumb across your chin.
“Fucking hell, love,” he breathes. “You have to remember that you can talk to me, yeah? Just promise you’ll remember.”
You nod, unable to speak.
“Good,” he says. “We’re giving this another go. And if you can’t kiss me on the pitch, might as well do it here, yeah?”
#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#jamie tartt#ted lasso
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January: 2023 Wrapped 🎁🍊
*some* of my favorite 2023 fics, by month they were published (or started to publish, or finished publishing, it's arbitrary bc i make the rules), plus some thoughts on what made these fics so special.
January | February | March | April, May, June | July | August | September | October | November | December
Chicken Shop Date by @sorrybutblog (T, 2K)
Draco and Harry sit down for an interview. Or is it a date?
This is such a fun premise and the Harry/Draco banter just sizzles. The atmosphere is so rich! 2K words of perfection that pack an outsized punch.
Close Behind by @oflights (M, 134K)
To rescue Draco from the Underworld, Harry has to look forward.
Unfortunately, Draco has to look back.
A masterpiece that deconstructs every relationship in the HP universe and then rebuilds it, that does mind-boggling things with narrative structure, that stressed me out so badly I felt physically ill, that was so moving it left me bursting into tears for days after I read it, that had the funniest single line I've read in a fic maybe ever. So far reading this is the only time I've ever checked the tags on a fic for "happy ending" because I was so emotionally overwhelmed by it that I needed to know it would be ok in the end. I can't overstate how much I love this one.
For Lack of Wanting by @fluxweeed (E, 8K)
Over the last ten years, I’ve worked hard to become a better person. I hate being reminded of who I used to be. But Harry likes it when I’m mean.
A gorgeous, painful story that explores a kind of Harry/Draco dynamic that's not seen as often in fics (a SAD one), but is done exceptionally well here. It hurts so good!
Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58K)
Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend.
Now all Draco has to do is convince him.
@the-sinking-ship regularly writes: my favorite kind of Draco, my favorite kind of romance/getting together AND my favorite kind of smut. This fic is all of those things.
Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor (E, 54K)
Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy. It's been ten years since they crossed paths, and Malfoy isn't exactly what Harry expected or remembered. For one thing, he wears a lot more hand-knits?
When a sudden winter storm strands the pair, unable to use magic to rescue themselves, they take shelter in a one-room Norwegian hytte.
The hottest fic in the coldest setting, this one made me absolutely FERAL. The most evocative scenery, incredible characterization, and the perfect pacing building to an explosively sexy and tender relationship. Also I would read like, 100K more words on just the mittens and jumpers and scarves of this fic, which are not items of clothing I have cared much about in the past. It's just that every detail, down to the smallest, is incredible!
When It Returns by @academicdisasterfic (M, 8K)
‘You’re late, layabout,’ Malfoy drawled, pushing the whiskey over to him.
‘I’ll have you know that I am very busy maintaining a whole house and garden by myself now.’
‘Oooh, the dead husband card. Before any alcohol. Is that a record?’
Harry's husband is dead, and Malfoy is the only one who gets it.
Or, the one where they drink at a straight man pub, renovate a house, and learn how to find joy again.
January was a good month for feeling bad. It's another angsty one! This one is full of beautiful healing in the face of a loss that feels very real, Draco annoying Harry out of his grief spiral (but in a loving way?) and Harry being on the right side of almost too stubborn for it to work. I have read and reread this many times already!
#citrus recs#2023 recs#drarry fic recs#I’m sure I’m going to miss TONS#so I’m sorry in advance#there are too many great fics in this fandom what a fantastic problem to have
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can i ask for a quick rundown of your mcd and/or mystreet rewrite? i’m a new follower and a tiny bit lost 😭
Ah, Ofc!! this will be a long post, because you said 'quick' and i just heard 'explain everything'. just because I don't know HOW to summarise everything, so I just explain what I can... which is too much.
each section will have a TL;DR if it's long, though.
So, the only rewrite I’ve actually, like, done so far is Amaranth (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310384)
It’s an MCD rewrite, the first one I did, and it’s not **technically** related to my overall rewrite universe, though I’m not going to totally discredit it. It’s where I got a lot of my ideas, and it was sort of a first draft for me.
It’s very similar to MCD, just with events changed to how I would have written them myself. Major change is that the Zane/aphmau engagement actually goes somewhere. My favourite change was the Pikoro arc tho for some reason bc it was just my first significant deviation from the original plot.
Now… cannibalism and cult stuff, yeah?
(Don’t read past this point if you are uncomfortable with discussions of human-on-human meat/organ consumption)
Lycoris Radiata (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50710504) is the only part of this current era of rewrite!Aphverse that has any content so far.
TL;DR for this section: i mostly just emphasised themes present in canon, there's cannibalism for magical reasons, Shad is more relevant early on, and there's a reason why characters look like that when i draw them, i promise. Also, cult stuff!
LR is an MCD rewrite, which has some lore changes. It begins with Avra (Aphmau) travelling with Visher, Garroth being angsty, and so on. Only the prologue and first chapter are currently posted, and you don't need to read Amaranth to begin it (though it will follow similar storylines later on).
Basically, the main premise is that it’s kind of a criticism of imperialism, organised religion, and so on. Those are themes already present in original MCD, and so I… expanded.
Blood Magic is the main magic focused on as well. It's the kind that Avra uses, and it's the kind that makes SKs function. Avra has to consume blood and meat (typically organ meat, preferably human) in order to have any amount of magic, and depending on what creature the meat comes from, also grants her some fun little magical extras. She also has a strong association with Judgement(Shad) in my rewrite, and there is a reason I draw them so often together.
Most character changes you'll see have some lore-based backing for it. Characters who are made darker-skinned, or have had their haircolour changed, it's typically due to them belonging to a particular ethnic group that i made for Ru'Aun or Tu'La, which does impact their characters in the way that they obviously grew up under certain cultures. Sometimes it'll just be because I think it looks cool, or for visual/thematic parallels with another character. If you're ever curious as to knowing why i have certain characters looking the way I do, then just ask.
Oh, also, people aren't just loyal to Avra because she's nice. there's like an actual cult thing that begins happening and to say there's some weird shit with that would be... underselling it.
A Royal Tale, and Mermaid Tales both fall into the timeline between LR and the MyS rewrite. they're quite insignificant series, but i decided to devote myself to being a completionist.
My plans for them aren't really set in stone yet, but I know i want to expand upon them and their lore a lot more, and they will eventually both fall into the, uh, cannibalism and murder theme of the rest of the rewrites. they'll likely be little side projects.
I have trauma from ART tho. Show makes me *uncomfy*
Mystreet.... yayyyy...
No official name for the rewrite yet, I'm working on it.
TL;DR: If you let an edgy teenager write MyS but they also watched desperate housewives so they write some sitcom episodes on the side. Also, Avra needs that gross-tasting nailpolish that stops you from chewing on your nails... but like... all over her body.
Basically, MyS except they've always been reincarnations of their MCD (or LR, in this case) selves, with some residual trauma and habits because of that. I'm going to lean more into the darker seasons, even though Ik popular opinion is that the light-hearted ones were the best, and I'll just focus more on lore and stuff.
PDH has a 17 year old Avra joining PDH, after being homeschooled for a while due to having some mental health issues. I'm going to go a little more 'general highschool drama' vibes, might have some mystery shit idk. Will be less cringe than canon, because yes, i'm cringe and i'm free, but even i have limits.
The more lighthearted seasons might just be amalgamed into one big 'sitcom style' fic, which will be set before S4 and such, but i'll probably make lighthearted chapters between the serious ones.
S4, Aphmau's Year, S5, S6 and Her Wish will be my main priority, and will go into the whole murder and cannibalism theme of LR. It'll already have been kind of expanded upon, because MyS!Avra has a bit of a habit of auto-cannibalism (eating the skin around her nails/on her fingers, on the inside of her cheeks and on her lips) which eventually just... goes a little crazy.
There is gonna be cult stuff in MyS too, it just might present differently to how it does in LR. Or maybe similarly. Idk, depends on how you view it.
#tw cannibalism#tw cult#i dont know how to explain them without going into way too much detail i'm sorry#if anyone could do a better job of it i would pay them (i cant actually bc im broke but)#aphmau#aphverse#aphblr#rewrite#mcd#minecraft diaries#im working on a bible of LR info so i might just put the doc for that online eventually idk#lycoris radiata/ranthredo#ranthredo
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Fic Graveyard Tag
So @scoops404 asked me to list the fics in my "fic Graveyard" aka the fics in my google docs that I started but will probably not continue, and I decided to make it a tag for all my writer friends to do.
List all the fics you started writing but probably won't continue and then tag some friends to do the same:
For my version of this I've only included fics where I have over a couple thousand words because I have lots of docs with like 200/300 words in and that would be a really long list. Honourable mentions at the end!
Working title/doc title: From whence you came
Premise: Fae!George and Knight!Dream dsmp fic
Pairing: dnf with side karlnap
Word count: 7,602
Reason you stopped writing it: I'm not really a fantasy writer I just got the idea in my head and wrote a bunch of it. The karlnap dynamic in this of like himbo sapnap and mage!karl lives in my head rent free though
Working title/doc title: Shiny Things/You Earned It
Premise: Sugar Baby AU
Pairing: dnf
Word count: 2,627
Reason you stopped writing it: I struggled with the initial way in to this as I didn't want to do it entirely AU but they both have a lot of their own money irl and although George likes when ppl pay for things the initial way into the arrangement didn't work for me. It kept coming out a bit more findom. I have extensive notes on it though and I may return to something similar at some point
Working title/doc title: the porn star au that Dream asked for
Premise: They're porn stars, Dream is faceless and does amateur solo stuff on OnlyFans but is really successful, George does studio movies and is popular in his own right. Dream wants to transition to movie work for the money and requests to work with George, but no one is actually sure if he's gay or just gay for pay. This was based on Dream's tweet about "in an alternate universe I'm a gay porn star are still get cancelled for queerbaiting" or whatever it was he said. Anyway, every time I read my notes for this I love it a bit more
Pairing: dnf
Word count: 2,749
Reason you stopped writing it: Honestly, I liked the premise so much I worried about not doing it justice and now I get scared every time I try
Working title/doc title: Tricksy Dreamon times
Premise: dsmp fic where DreamXD keep taunting George in the wake of Dream being locked in prison but then Dream escapes and shows up on George's doorstep all traumatised and in need of care. Essentially just some angsty hurt/comfort
Pairing: dnf
Word count: 4,327
Reason you stopped writing it: Again, I'm not really a fantasy writer or dsmp writer, my friend Charlotte just loved some fics like this and so I wanted to write her one but it's not really in my wheelhouse and so I'll leave her to read the actual good ones
Working title/doc title: the royalty au dream wants but that I didn't think I'd ever write
Premise: George is a rebellious prince sleeping with a knight called Dream he doesn't really get along with but then he becomes King unexpectedly due to the death of his father and is faced with the perils of trying to govern a country. He's expected to marry the prince of a nearby kingdom in order to solidify their alliance, but he just can't seem to shake Dream, who has some very strong opinions about how George could be running things instead
Pairing: dnf
Word count: 1,804
Reason you stopped writing it: Again, not really my usual kind of thing. I'm a contemporary romance write - I don't know why I keep starting these things
Honourable mentions (fics that are a couple hundred words):
Werewolf!Dream au - again, not my thing
Spanking fic - There are already so many good ones and anything I could have put in this will probably be in a future longer fic of mine
Living like you said - a fic with the summary "As YouTube falls apart, Dream and George fall together" about them contemplating quitting while getting together - idk why I gave this up except I didn't have a clear outline for it
How to deal with alpha roommates - I so badly want to write more Beta!George like in my fic That's How We Play It (please read, it's my baby) and I started with a premise but again didn't have a clear outline, just a desire for Beta!George
fake snf for the bet - what it says on the tin, really. abandoned because I lost enthusiasm for it (Sapnap probably pissed me off that day)
Fertitlity stuff - occasionally I start fic to exorcise some personal demons and this was an mpreg one where they faced fertility issues and then split up only to get back together later on but then - well, my own life happened and it made this a bit impossible to continue.
This is just the DNF, if you wanna see the Phan list, let me know!!
I'm tagging: @scoops404 @czargasm @alittledizzy to do this too fi they want but also if they don't that's cool too :)
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Luci Angst Fic Idea That’s Been Rattling Around In My Head
Okay, so, it’s no real secret that I absolutely love angst and Hurt/Comfort content. I slurp that shit up like there’s no tomorrow. And recently my darling brain has been so kind as to supply me a new concept that could be shoved into a whole number of Lucifer angst fics.
Basically the premise is this:
Part of Lucifer’s punishment is that every year on the same day, a member of the heavenly court (the same Angel every time) comes down to administer a little “reminder” to keep Lucifer in line. Basically, he gets tortured, and the shit beat out of him annually to make sure he stays depressed. The Angel that does this is called “The Punisher” and they are very strong, but also have cool mind fuckery powers that they use to really get inside Luci’s head.
Most of my ideas are Charlie (who doesn’t know) finding out about this when it happens after Luci moves into the hotel, and being absolutely MORTIFIED! Good old Father-Daughter time. U know the drill. Sometimes my brain even likes to be like “oh yeah, the day of/after his Punishment Day was the day Lilith took Charlie and left” because I just love to make him suffer so he can be sympathized w/. I’m just like that don’t fucking judge, it’s not as weird as u think. Maybe. Whatever.
Anyway, yeah. It’s BRUTAL!
Content warning below for descriptions of violence next for some of the things I imagine happening to him, as well as an illustration with a shit ton of gold blood all over the place.
- A lot of the times they will do stuff to his wings to be like “you don’t deserve these.” Either rip them off and force them to grow back, break them, and once (the time Charlie finds out) skinning them to take the feathers off. That one is particularly angsty and I can’t help but be drawn to the heartbreaking-ness of it.
- Lots of punching, kicking, hitting scratching, and throwing him around.
- Concentrated holy water or holy light or something to burn
- Lots of emotional degradation (not the kink, if that wasn’t obvious)
- Induced hallucinations of everyone he loves hating him
- And, u know, whatever new toys The Punisher comes up with.
Here’s a pretty little drawing too! Because I’m a terrible person (as always, Tumblr is gonna fuck up the quality and I’m not smart enough to know how to do ‘tap for higher resolution’ so here’s a link to a better version: tehe )
#hazbin hotel lucifer#i love luci#lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#apple daddy#duck lord#short king#lucifer angst#angst#cw: gore#fanfic idea#I would read this#I’ve been imagining it for weeks now#sad boy#I’m sorry baby#I love u sm#but this is for me#he’s suffering
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Fanfic Tag Game!
Tagged by the one and only @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter ❤️
1. How many fics do you have on AO3?
Only 22!!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
492,234. Which is a lot of words per fic, yes.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Sanctuary. Though I used to write for others
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Mr & Mrs - 110
Love Don't Die - 46
With Interest - 30 (but I feel this is misleading in that it's been up the longest)
Sturdy (29)
And it's a tie for fifth! Both What Should Have Happened After The Clean Up and When Will Failed the Perception Test have 18.
It is hilarious to me that only one of these is G rated. On is M rated, but otherwise it's explicit all the way 😲
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I try to! The only time I don't is if I've already been chatting to the person about the thing. But otherwise yes. Come be my friend via the comments!!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I had one called 'Release' that was all about Helen dying and choosing to go which was pretty angsty. 'She Had Him at Hello' is also gonna have a more angsty ending because canon is angsty when it comes to Helen and Nikola...
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hehe. Most of them? I generally prefer happy endings because life is dark and depressing enough all on its own... I mean I did a whole series where the central premise was giving Helen and Nikola the happy ending the writers weren't willing to offer...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Honestly, not since joining the Sanctuary fandom. The only really awful, vitrolic hate I recieved was in a different fandom (nothing quite like a gang of middle aged women telling you that you're awful to start off your writing journey!!)
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Lol. Yes. Most kinds. I'm new to the kinkier stuff, but provided it is consensual, I'm game.
Most of my stuff is romantic-y though. I like to write the tender stuff, with the occasional rough and tumble threaded throughout.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Haven't done one yet! Though I'm not adverse to it - my brain just doesn't work that way.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I... I don't think so. Is that a thing people do?! Yikes...
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Nope. Again though, not adverse to the idea!
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
Helen/Nikola. Hands down. Their dynamic is *chefs kiss*
16. What are your writing strengths?
Description, probably. And build up maybe? I'm pretty good at stretching out the anticipation...
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Fight sequences. I know in theory they're no different to sex scenes, but a lot of the smut I write is about the feeling rather than the action.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I used to do a fair bit of it, but I've found ways around it now so that I don't have to struggle with grammar I'm absolutely going to get wrong. The only exceptions for me are when I want to use a single word (like when Helen meets one of Nikola's sisters and she says 'sestra') where translation is clear, or when a character is trying to hide something from another. But even then I'll normally not use more than a word or two.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Private Practice.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Well, my current favourite is 'Stupid' because it really was my first go at writing some proper kinky stuff and I'm pretty pleased with how chapter 2 turned out, even if I'm still a bit nervous about posting it because it's more intense than anything I've written before.
Tagging @tinknevertalks @theleotorrio @writerxwren (and anyone else who wants to play along!!)
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Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Rise of the Guardians
So I vaguely remember watching this movie at a Walmart once while I was waiting on my car to get fixed. Fuck all if I remember anything about it though other than that people ship the ice twink with Elsa or whatever. So I kind of went into this one for my first active watching of it with bare expectations. How did I end up finding it then?
The Guardians are a group of mythical beings composed of North (Santa Claus), the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, and their newest recruit, Jack Frost. Together, they protect the children of the world from the villainous Pitch Black (the Boogeyman) from spreading fear across the entire world. A pretty solid setup with some good payoff, but... there are problems.
I think my biggest issue with Rise of the Guardians is... well, its ambitious. A bit too ambitious for its own good at times. It has so much it wants to establish with these characters and how their roles and powers work that it sometimes bogs itself down with all of the details and... overcomplicates things a bit too much? Like on its own, we all are familiar with the concept of Santa or the Easter Bunny, and I do appreciate how creative this movie is with executing them and the work that they do. But sometimes, it just... gets in its own way? If that makes any sense?
So a simple premise that bogs itself down in the details. Ok, what else is there about this movie to redeem it? Lots, surprisingly! The Guardians are all really fun characters in their own right, and I loved the dynamic developed between them. Jack Frost is our focal point out of all of them, and I really liked him! He's an angsty little ice twink who can't been seen by almost anyone because no one believes him, so he has plenty of baggage for compelling drama. My one issue with him though is that I don't think Chris Pine's voice works for his character design? Like I look at that character and I do not think the voice of a man cresting his mid 40s. Its just a touch weird in terms of casting.
The other Guardians are also really fun and unique takes on characters we all already know. North is a delightfully different take on Santa, still just as jolly as we know him to be, with a slick action-hero element of him to the side. The Tooth Fairy has a very sweet, fast-paced energy to her, while the Easter Bunny brings a great edge of sass to compete with Jack throughout the film. The Sandman, while not saying a word, is probably my favorite of the bunch though. He's just so charming and sweet and while he isn't in much of the movie, he makes such a strong impact every second he's on screen.
Of course, we also have our villain, Pitch Black. He's sinister and manipulative, if not a bit... predictable? Like we've all seen this kind of villain before, he isn't doing anything new, but he works well as a foil for this team, especially for Jack and I think he's an ok antagonist overall.
Visually, this movie is beautiful, so unlike almost anything Dreamworks has ever made before, with gorgeous effects and fantastically animated action sequences. The character designs are so... un-Dreamworks, but they work so nicely in the world they inhabit. That world itself is beautifully built, especially in its more fantastical setpieces like the Tooth Palace or the North Pole. The score was also lovely to listen to, capturing the sheer creativity of this movie so nicely.
At the end of the day, I think that's the perfect word to describe Rise of the Guardians. It's very creative, with a lot of love and thought clearly poured into it. It really is a shame that it didn't go anywhere further into a series or more sequels because I would have loved to see more of this team and watch them just... be together. They're that fun to watch in action. Same for the movie itself. It's good!
Overall Rating: 8/10
Verdict: All hail the Ice Twink
Previous Review (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted)
Next Review (The Croods)
#jen watches#dreamworks watch#rise of the guardians#dreamworks#jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever
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20 Questions for fic writers!
Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy @wellbelesbian @prettygoododds and @bookish-bogwitch! It was fun reading your answers 💜
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
22! 3 are collabs, and some of mine are quite short but I am still proud of that number.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
315,168. (That number is crazy) but again, some of that is collabs, including Birthday Man which is 39k and written by several people, and my part was very short. I would guess the real number is around 265k, which…damn. That’s still a lot.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Carry On! That’s it.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Plus One
Rose-Colored Glasses
Shield Me
How to Avoid a Scandal
Archery 101
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always! I love getting comments. We have such a rich comment culture in our fandom and it’s something I really enjoy participating in. I feel like I’m doing my part to keep that comment culture robust when I engage with other commenters.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I was about to say I don’t do angsty endings, but then I remembered my mafia fic Button Man and, fuck. Yeah, that one’s real angsty.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Most of them are happy I think. Beastly is a fairytale with a traditional happy ending, but honestly most of them are, especially the longer ones. I even left Button Man as ambiguous because I’m a wimp 😂
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope! This fandom is so nice, we rarely see hate and I hope we can keep it that way.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do! Mostly super tender and full of emotion. Sappy porn.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Nope. A few AUs but none with any actual character crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of! Is that a thing? Beside AI scrapping I hadn’t ever heard of that.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
A few! Plus One with @fatalfangirl and Archery 101 with @whatevertheweather, plus contributing to Birthday Man. Co-writing can be challenging at times but mostly it’s been good fun.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Snowbaz. Always and forever
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have some things languishing in my docs but the only WIP that’s published is Depth of Reason and I fully intend to finish it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Probably emotions and inner thoughts. I like the plots and premises that drive my stories as well. I think I’ve got some creative ones in there.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
When I read other works I can always find things i appreciate that others do well that I wish I could do better. I wish I was funnier. I wish I could write banter or witty dialogue or crack. I wish I could be more poetic. I wish my writing was sexier or more visceral. Maybe I’ll get better at these things. And maybe I’ll never write in styles I appreciate. Which is okay. We can’t do it all.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Besame mucho 😘 No, idk my language skills are crap so I doubt I’d do this in a fic unless I saw a need for it in a story and I had someone’s help with it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Carry On is the only fandom I’ve written for. And the only creative writing I’ve done, too!
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Probably Depth of Reason. It isn’t finished but it’s my baby.
This was fun! No pressure tagging @fatalfangirl @whatevertheweather @cutestkilla @aristocratic-otter @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!
tagged by @bbcphile～ thank you my dear 🫶
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
30 right now～ what a nice number!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
363,479!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
so many, lol. right now, i'm actively writing for LHL and YRZX (and a bit LZTJ), but i previously wrote a lot for QYJ, CHSSN, and DMBJ.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
may we tie our hearts together again ⚫️⚪️ QingYa
9k, red string AU, canon + post-canon
NOTICE: Seeking Marriage Partner 💙💚 PingXie
5k, post-canon
青山仍在 | as long as the green hills remain 🪷🐕 HuaFang
7k, post-canon fix-it
but ask for no regrets 💙💚 PingXie
5k, canon-compliant N+1 things
a ghost walks into a soldier's house 💙🤍 SuiTang | 🖤💚 WeiLan
16k, crossover + crack treated seriously
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try my best to, but for various reasons comments will accumulate in my inbox and i might not respond to them until even a year later. but please believe me, i do read every single one.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i write a lot of HEs... perhaps only an echo, since the entire premise of that (unfinished) series is an AU where Wu Xie isn't there to fulfill his ten-year promise with Xiaoge. rather than angsty endings, i write more angsty stories? in which case, the angstiest might be 千里自同风 | no distance too great as a canon-compliant post-canon fic that follows Fang Duobing's journey of grief. (but i don't think the ending of that is sad, tbh.) alternatively, 飞蛾扑火 | for you, i'll gladly burn is another contender given Shen Yi's big reveal in the last chapter (but also don't think the ending is sad). 红尘似水，万事入歌 | the world becomes song is pretty sad too if only because we the readers know the characters' fates in canon.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
honestly, i think most of my fics are HEs. or if not "happy," comforting for sure. most of my fics end with a promise to be together, to spend an ordinary life together, to have the chance to be in the moment together. it might not be super, like, grand or dramatic or anything - but i genuinely think all my fics have peaceful endings. so take your pick, peruse my works～
8. Do you get hate on fics?
rarely, and the few times that i have, i've simply deleted them.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
nope. i don't know how to, LOL
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i have a guilty pleasure of writing crossovers, lol. i think they're all kinda wild:
a ghost walks into a soldier's house
镇魂 Guardian & 成化十四年 The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty
do not speak as loud as my heart
盗墓笔记 The Grave Robbers' Chronicles & 镇魂 Guardian
红尘似水，万事入歌 | the world becomes song
鬓边不是海棠红 Winter Begonia & 老九门 Mystic Nine
懷月夢 | on the summit, sun and snow
三生三世枕上书 Eternal Love of Dream & 封神演义 The Investiture of The Gods
照猫画狐 | tracing a cat to draw a fox
猎罪图鉴 Under the Skin & 无眠之境 Desire Catcher
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of. don't steal my fics.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! 此生如梦 | this life, a dream was tl'ed into Russian～
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes～ @naiwong-bao and i somehow churned out the 111k monster that was 懷月夢 | on the summit, sun and snow. to this day, i have no idea how we did that, LOL
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
impossible for me to choose～ recency bias will suggest 🦊🐼 青也, 🪷🐕 花方, and 🎨🔍 城心城翊 though～
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
my 往前走 莫回呀头 | go forward and don't look back series 🥹 i had two more parts planned originally after Xiuxiu's POV... one was Liu Sang, the other was Xiaoge. (there was an undetermined Bai Haotian POV fic too.) i also definitely won't be finishing the sound of snowfall (and don't want to LOL)
16. What are your writing strengths?
atmosphere and rhythm, i think. maybe because i used to write a lot of poetry? i also have faith in my world-building (bc i do a LOT of research) and dialogue. in terms of tropes, it must undoubtedly be hurt/comfort.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i'm not good at writing fight/action scenes (probably another reason why i literally cannot write smut). i also don't think i'm super great at description, but i think i've been improving.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
this is an interesting question because i actually write all my dialogue in Chinese first and then tl it to English since i pretty exclusively write for c-media now 😆 i like that a lot bc i think it helps me to more accurately characterize these ppl - but also it sucks tremendously when English is just the ugliest-sounding language in the world, LOL. (i always think my original Chinese dialogue is prettier and has more depth～)
19. First fandom you wrote for?
the first fandom i posted fic on AO3 for was Good Omens: i love(d) you. but in my life, it was probably like... Warriors (yes, the cats) or Shugo Chara..? idk, or maybe Case Closed (still love that series despite how insufferably long it's gotten).
20. Favorite fic you've written?
only children need to choose; adults can have everything～
tagging: @rongzhi, @elenothar, @difeisheng, @asterdust, @willowcatkinblossom, @starlitwishforu, @tunnelofdusk
#tagged#answered#mine#my writing#i dont remember what my system was for these#i tagged seven people for my bday but~ if you see this on ur dash THEN YOU ARE TAGGED!!!!!!!
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Fic Writer 20 Questions
Thanks for the tag @merlyn-bane !!
1.) How many works do you have on ao3?
60! wow
2.) What's your ao3 word count?
417,555!!
3.) What fandoms do you write for?
Lately it's been Star Wars (Codywan), but I started out writing for Captive Prince, and have one very cracky fic for the chickens from Venom lmao
4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?
All five are Codywan! (with my first captive prince fic sliding barely into 6th place) they are:
Slow Waters; Inexpressibly to Untangle; Wolfssegen; Two Winters; and Leaning Closer to Never
5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! if not immediately, then eventually. I always like receiving responses when I comment on other people's fic, even if it's just a short 'thanks for reading!' so I try to give the same in return.
6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Smiling evilly over here because it's definitely What Year Was Our House Built? although a there's a close second and third in Kiss Goodbye and Gone and Returned. Oh wait also Akin, Removed. It's still true that the majority of my writing tends to be hopeful, though.
7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Slow Waters is a classic action movie happy ending, as a pacific rim au, and The World Offers Itself is a classic fantasy story happy ending, but I quite treasure the happy ending I gave codywan in Friday: Historical for @order63 because I will always cheer for edwardian wlw who say "sod the basilica".
8.) Do you get hate on fics?
Nope! I figure the premises I write are sufficiently niche that you have to actually want to read it to click on it in the first place. Everyone is very lovely in my comment section :)
9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I do! The gay kind! and the loving kind, the angsty kind, the kind with layers, the kind that's just hot, etc etc
10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't terribly prefer crossovers; I'll just set it in an AU of a different IP rather than mixing characters.
11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I know!
12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?
I haven't! But I've thought about practicing my language skills in translating them myself before (not that a lot of people really need a Norwegian translation of something lmao)
13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Nothing published! but I've gone through many a planning stage and/or shared gdoc with friends before.
14.) What's your all time favorite ship?
I really can't choose! As long as it's well written I enjoy my ships pretty equally!
15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Looking out the corner of my eye at The Skies Above Us which was. Well let's just say I learned my lesson to always write a fic to completion before starting to post it. RIP you really obscure codywan Wings of Desire AU, we barely knew you.
16.) What are your writing strengths?
I love describing general atmosphere and nature scenes, and I'm pretty good at doing an obscene amount of research and then letting most of it go in favour of writing what matters. I think I'm pretty good at picturing something in my own head and being able to transcribe it into prose.
17.) What are your writing weaknesses?
Aside from the aforementioned necessity of writing something fully before posting, and also planning/outlining a story beginning-to-end before writing it, I'm not so strong in writing dialogue. But practice makes perfect!
18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I quite like it, but only for snippets of text that don't really matter in the overall scheme of things. I've provided some of my own small French and Norwegian translations in the captive prince fics Portrait of Monsieur X (some silly poetry) and Hver blomst en stjerne (some fictional gods) and some other capri fics (what if there was an in-universe Basque) because I really enjoyed giving the nations in Captive Prince those real-life parallels (e.g. Ios = Greece, Vere = France) and playing around with the languages; it's kind of an integral part of the source material. I stay away from fictional languages though, because it's not something someone can easily just googletranslate, and I'd prefer to read " 'Something in English,' Character said in XYZ language." rather than waiting for a translation and wondering why extraneous information and words had to waste my time.
19.) First fandom you wrote for?
Captive Prince! Pretty recent, all things considered. Everything I wrote before that was original stuff.
20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?
I'd have to go with Wolfssegen for codywan and Ideal Bounds for captive prince. I'm really proud of the stories I was able to tell with those two, and how neatly they both came together in terms of themes and actions :))
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so late to this, but! for the ask game!! 5, 13 (bc i need to read more fics in both hamilton and jcs lmao), and 16!
5. i think my writing has improved a lot since i first posted mine to subdue. i think i've grown more confident with knowing what i want to say and how i want to say it. i might be wrong, but i think i've developed a style that is consistent which i'm very proud of. i basically improved on the smoothness of writing, too, i think (i could be so wrong). i basically improved all of this just by working nonstop, and writing every chance i get. i do want to write different things every now and again. i feel like my works can get repetitive very quickly, and often that's what stops me from posting if i think a fic is too similar to something i've already done, or someone else has written something under the same premise. so that's kind of what i'm working on. i want to be able to bring something fresh and unique, so i'm trying to work on expanding my vocabulary a bit more and think of new ideas.
13. oooo this is so good. first and foremost i will say, i believe fic writers (And fan artists naturally) are what keep fandoms and my fixations on them alive, so these fics have greatly impacted me in that way, and the excellence of them inspires me to keep writing and keep going. for hamilton, i have read the fics for years. i've been on ao3, fanfiction.net, and wattpad since practically the beginning. i remember when there was <100 posted on ao3. like it goes so far back. sons of libertea by fihli was my favorite fic when i was thirteen and what really got me into reading hardcore for hamilton. i haven't read it in a long time so i don't know if it holds up, but i'm sure it does. so that one is really iconic for me, and i know it was really popular at the time. i've talked about it before but the monticello furlough was a game changer for me. anything by holograms is brilliant and i die every time. and it's not just bc y'all are my pallys and kiddos, but @youreverydaydemikid @cecescomposition @fireballdance, the fics y'all write literally have me dropping whatever i'm doing to read what you post. it's so so good. like it's genuinely consistently good work that i squeal over every time. also @binch-i-might-be is an absolute icon that has kept the fandom fed for a good few years. there have also been numerous fanfics that have been deleted over the years that i adored, so we will have a moment of silence for them, but alas, it's the price i have to pay for being in a fandom that became "cringe culture" and made everyone delete their work even if it was really good.
NOW FOR JCS. it is such a small fandom, but that does not mean there is any lack of wonderful content. OBVIOUSLY, i will start by recommending anything by @solarflicker. their work is genuinely jaw dropping and i die every time. their characterizations are so good, and their stories are so well written. i could not recommend them enough. if i had to choose one, though, it would have to be judecca. like that one is one i reread practically every week. but as i said, all of them are so good. you would be doing yourself a disfavor by skipping any of them. @ohsoldier is so so good too. their good omens au is chef's kiss. picking up the palm fronds by @hobgoblinns is also very very good. beserk's jcs fics are also golden little au's that are so so good!! they have like a reincarnation au that i adore. another good reincarnation au that i love is that's what you had (but you don't have it anymore) by zartbitterpoetin. this one is so unique and well written. like it's so creativeeee. those are all a bit angsty BUT there's a really cute coffee shop fic (i think it has smut in it so be careful youngins) but it's the fic that all the people not in the fandom find and it blows their minds that people ship jesus/judas lmaooo. but it's called i'm falling for brew by framblebee. NOW I'VE RAMBLED ON THIS QUESTION FOR FAR TOO LONG SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH ONE MORE. you have to have an account to view it, but it is the 2012 revival fic (once again i think it had a tad bit of smut so watch for that) but so tonight that i might see by altzfic is amazing. like honestly there are so many good fics out there. it's crazy how talented people are in both of these fandoms. i could go on for ages, but i will end the rant here.
(i could genuinely make a long post of just fic recommendations for both fandoms and it would be longer that this. it's just so good.) (lemme know if y'all want that. it would take a while to collect all the links, but i would gladly boost the fics i love)
16. the worst writing advice i've ever been given was to delete everything and start over if you get stuck. my storage might hate me, but i've learned i regret very much if i delete my work. even if i don't use something in the fic i originally wrote it for, i could always use it somewhere else or expand on it and make it it's own thing. another bad piece of advice i got was never use flowery language. i resent that. i loathe that. i am a writing maximalist, my dears. i will make my writing as longwinded and drawn out as possible.
#ask games#these are such good questionss ahhhhhh#sorry didn't mean to namedrop all of y'all feel free to disregard this#i just wanted to make sure people were able to find your accounts and fics bc y'all deserve it :))))
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Fic author interview! Let's see what that sets rolling in my head. Maybe even some words for fic? Thank you @lynne-monstr <3
No-pressure tagging: @narina-vhey @dragonpyre @theloneliestshipper
How many works do you have on AO3?
Currently 26 after I went on a bit of an orphaning (and deletion) spree last year.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
397,281. Also a victim of last year, I guess, but I'm getting back there. I kinda hope to find the time to raise that to 500k and feel good with what I've written but we'll see.
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Hence begins the journey (part 4 of the vampire Percy series I'm writing) - 598
The Ferryman (potc) - 474
Negotiator's Garden (star wars OS) - 414
Of New Beginnings (part 1 of the vampire Percy series I'm writing) - 344
Far Dawn (part 3 of the vampire Percy... well, you can guess it) - 307
Well, I'm seeing a pattern here is all I'm saying. I'm also wistfully staring at the Ferryman because, well, that's no longer my baby because it's too old for that but that fic has been with me for a while and looking at it now I really want to get around to officially finishing it someday. It's also hilarious to see that Star Wars oneshot up there but I guess vaguely fae Obi-Wan is a fun premise. Fond memories writing that one.
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do. There are a few comments in my inbox that are a bit of a pile of shame right now but generally I respond to comments because I love talking about the fic I share. Like that one post so eloquently put it: I write for myself, I share for a feeling of community. Or something like that.
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Ooof, that's a tough question because I don't like angsty endings with a few rare exceptions. I think the closest I got online can aspire to vaguely ominous (as in hinting at Order 66) but that's not much, is it?
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Another tough question because I don't go darker than bittersweet for endings I write so, in a way, they're all more or less happy endings? Hmm, I would say maybe No Doubt In Us (TKA canon divergence) bc a) it's actually finished and b) the characters worked hard for their ending and got it.
7. Do you write crossovers?
Not as often as I'd like to and somehow I never get around to finishing them.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
One or two unhappy comments when I wrote Obi-Wan as bisexual (I mean, come on, look at the guy. He's supposed to be straight?) because how dare I write him like that but that's about it.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Rarely and somehow usually as a gift for one person or another. Curious.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not apart from those mass-stealing incidents where lots of fic got copied to other sites and all that. At least not that I know of.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I think ten years ago or so someone wanted to translate one of my fics into russian but I honestly can't remember what came of that.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, actually, with the wonderful @theloneliestshipper and with @narina-vhey but overall I prefer to write on my own because I got my own approach, time limitations and all in all it just became too stressful.
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I don't have one. On further thought, I don't think I'd be happy having an all-time favourite. I prefer that to stay in constant flux.
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Oh, that's difficult. Stuff from the pile of shame, probably, so i'll pass on this answer^^
15. What are your writing strengths?
I am told that I manage to keep the characters in character but I think my favourite thing that one person pointed out was that I am good at building connections between canon tidbits to make up new canon divergences and headcanons.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Since my favourite topic is canon divergence, most of my plotbunnies have a tendency to turn into longfic which, as we all know, is not that easy to finish.
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I could read this question in two ways but I think it means writing dialogue in a different language than the general narration and, no, just no. I don't automatically pass on a fic for that if it's using phrases from a conlang in moderation but usually it's just far more confusing than enriching the experience for me.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Oh, hmm. I'm not sure. The first fandom stuff I did online was for Yu-Gi-Oh and Detective Conan, I think. First fanfic was probably some OC for some high fantasy novel or other.
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
Polymachina (I'm getting there) and zjl/xby/szp for King's Avatar.
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written
I can't choose but the whole vampire Percy series has some of my favourite moments I've written, so I'll go with that one.
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Ya know- I never really considered 'trainwreckshipping'...but I will say- I am not against it- I am very interested in my first day of discovering this ship- I'm very curious about if there was anything that got you into it?
Ok ok ok
You gotta understand something about the majority of trainwreckshipping content:
A lot of its the unhealthy “we both hate each other but love tormenting each other” or volatile manipulation. Stuff along that ilk. Or at least thats the majority that I come across. Its abusive and eeeeeeh not my cup unless there’s growth, resolution, or escape from the relationship; there’s gotta be a story behind that kind of relationship for me otherwise its just uncomfortable.
And it kinda sucks because as a concept I like trainwreckshipping. Immortal, god-seeking man falls in love with funny train man white edition? And he’s maybe responsible for that? Like oh geez oopsie this guy I like is the brother of the guy I kidnapped. Fuck.
Idk that circumstance is really the pillar of what makes me like trainwreckshipping. Its a bit silly. A bit angsty. A bit lovey. A bit dovey.
It’s the whole premise that my comics are built off of. That Volo went through a redemption arc in the hundreds of years he has been forced to live for his transgressions against Arceus and finally decides to let himself be happy with this funny man who loves battling and shares the same love/hate for customer service.
And Emmet finally gets that person in his life that adds a bit of colour back and makes the world feel new in an exciting way, not a terrifying one. This guy who talks a bit strange but has a great love for history and battling and likes creating things. He made his own pokeballs and clearly cares for his pokemon. He meets someone who shows him the value of memory and acceptance over agony and regret.
The way I’m doing it… its something special to me idk. I think I like more the story im doing than trainwreckshipping in general.
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Okay first of all, im defending her because of the content of the fic amd i have personally read it, NOT because she specifically is my friend. And second of all im not asking anyone to become personal friends with authors i didnt even imply that, i mean if ur gonna read an author, looking at gheir page a bit might be helpful but thats optional, now for the last bit if you read the first four paragraphs of a fic and go "oh this isnt for me" then it ISNT for you, dont assume the rest of the fic is bad or it doesnt get better, angst is a genre that exists and it has vsrying levels, just because it isnt for you doesnt mean its disgusting or wrong especially in this context. For example, i like to read angsty fics about dealing with weight issues because of my ed but that doesnt mean its for everyone and it doesnt mean the fic is GLORIFYING anything such as "being skinny" which the fic isnt even about btw
You always go on when people have a counter arguement trying to own them like "oh well this defense train" "oh well your her friend so your biased" i have a working brain dont i ??? I can come to conclusions myself without bias, im coming to you in your asks as a fat person, not as her friend although yes i am going to defend her. If i see bullshit i call it out, if she was in the wrong i wouldve 100% told her that, i think we have talked to each other enough for you to know this about me anyway but all you ever want to do is be in the right about things and blame other people and be self righteous and im kind of sick of defending you for it to my other mutuals but this was definitely the last straw. Slandering people for fics that you personally dislike as opposed to it being ACTUALLY harmful is crossing a pretty big line and this is ridiculous
this entire ask has nothing to do with the previous rant you sent in my inbox or the original anon that was hurt and the subsequent discussions but ok
but since you’re so insistent of me reading the full fic, i did. and i still don’t see how it’s supposed to be an angst fic about overcoming bullying when the entire premise is “i was bullied for being fat, then i lost weight and got really fit and skinny, and now everybody is fawning over me”
this isn’t a “this isn’t for me” reaction, this is a “this is cruel and i feel shitty and ugly reading it” reaction.
from the start, there’s so much emphasis on the contrast between the former self and the better, more attractive and more successful current self. the current self is repeatedly emphasized to be thin and fit.
throughout the entire fic there’s continued references to how attractive both characters are and it’s almost always tied to thinness (eg hoshi’s sharp jaw and muscles)
i understand that maybe this is why you said this is angst about overcoming bullying. but if “overcoming” bullying is you losing a lot of weight and entirely changing your lifestyle and appearance, and “overcoming” is also your former bullies being envious of your success, then that’s a really fucked to message to communicate.
this isn’t a case where writing is bad and i don’t like it, the writing is okay both from a technical standpoint and from a style standpoint. but the content is actively harmful. like, sorry if you can’t see it, or if you think that it’s positive representation of the experience of being bullied. i hope you can overcome that and set healthier expectations.
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