#i keep waiting for a miracle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

joanbaez · 1 year

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happy birthday! to me!

#at one am i talked to myself in the mirror and said simone this is going to be the last birthday you celebrate by yourself #and that made me feel better but #i don't know what to do with myself now #and the sad is coming up my throat #i keep waiting for a miracle

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect #based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop #saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which #is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because #you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy #i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane #and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a #knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one #when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid #so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from #nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and #beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees #to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and #nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the #gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes #other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to #walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and #eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when #he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a #girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever #kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to #find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus #like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy #when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate #ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition #because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would #give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a #shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...

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arcaneyouth · 9 months

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this shit really makes it hard to want to do anything to distract myself

#vent post #negative #want to play a game to calm myself down? yeah that's not going to help. that's a nice reminder of everything.#want to work on my comic? keenly aware of how much i need to code my own website before webtoon and tumblr fuck themselves over for good #want to watch youtube? keenly aware of how much youtube wants its creators dead too #ok maybe i'll cross stitch. but i'm aware i'm only doing it because its one of the few things available to me anymore #read a book? guess what industry ALSO wants its creators dead!#i can't enjoy any of this because i feel sick #can't even go outside and enjoy myself there's nothing out there for me to even do #that doesnt stave anything off i'm just going to have a breakdown but i'm outside now #the world gets smaller.#i know it will get better. as everything burns a better life will come out of it.#but i don't know how to be ok with experiencing the now while i wait for the better to come #even as i try to look into 'the good industries' so maybe i can survive in this world with an ok job #there's nothing there #i know better than to expect anything perfect but Everything Wants Me Dead #i want the bare minimum of Doesn't Want Me Dead and it doesn't exist #what do i even do. all i can do is keep going while hoping for a miracle.

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boltgunkiller-archive · 5 months

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my glee powers are too great, why’s my sister starting to get obsessed with it too

#miracle i haven’t made her rewatch sexy more than the one time she’s seen it #i seriously do not mess around about that episode #i’m nothing without analyzing santana’s behavior throughout it #the eye contact thing. her refusal to make eye contact during the sacred sexy sharing circle #and then her trying to keep eye contact with brittany throughout landslide to convey her true feelings for brittany #and prove that she’s being serious and genuine and that she’s full of love and wants to tell brittany her feelings #and even have a relationship. “it’s better with feelings” remember?#and then during the confession she’s still anxiously checking her surroundings #but she tries her best to look at britt #but then she gets rejected. and it hurts. and she closes up again and doesn’t even let britt touch her #she immediately turns away. no more looking #and then in 2x16 during the dirt locker scene she won’t look at brittany for a while either #she keeps looking at her locker (“i miss being your friend…” + santana replying with “still waiting for the question.”#like she literally keeps looking at her locker bc she got rejected and she’s reserved again because her expressing herself only resulted in #her getting hurt again… 😞)#and the “stop looking at me. i can’t remember my locker combo.”#yes it’s a funny line but also #distressing. when you examine her relationship with eye contact. naya’s acting is insanely good #Anyway idgaf about sexy guys.#this was meant to be about my sister my bad.#gleeposting

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lenacopperleaf · 7 months

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I would really prefer not to watch this again Altitude

#avs lb #‘it’s a miracle he’s not injured’#mmmmm I think I’d wait more than just seeing him back to say that #if only cause cogs was back too #and Gabe came back while his knee was still hurt #and more examples of players playing hurt keep coming up as I type

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superduperkas · 2 years

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"We deserve better representation" "It was a bad show"

Blah blah blah

Individuals decide for themselves whether or not something is representative of them

Individuals decide based on their personal tastes whether or not the quality of something is good or bad to them

You don't get to decide what is good or bad representation for other individuals. You don't get to decide if the quality of a piece of entertainment is good or bad for other individuals

You can make these choices for yourself but realize you don't get to make them for others

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lily-blue-blue-lily · 9 months

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i have officially, finally, watched all of lone star ... im emotional

#literally what do i do now?#genuinely already debating in my head how soon i can justify a full rewatch #like im not gonna rewatch it yet #genuinely #but how long do i need to wait?#anyways #the last two episodes were intense #oh my good god #like i was expecting it based on how everything was set up and from a couple spoilers i got #but still #the wedding!!!#'my miracle' i want to throw myself into the ocean i love them so much #there were so many times carlos called tk tyler in these eps and anyone who's been even vaguely keeping up with my liveblogs #knows how truly insane that makes me #i dont have words for how much i love them i really dont #also the bit with gwyn at the wedding!!#sobbing just an endless amount of sobbing #i genuinely dont know how i feel about all the stuff with gabriel #like i adored him and carlos having their whole bonding thing before... everything #but the rest of the plotline ... very dramatic even by this shows standards #i guess they had to keep up the streak of killing a main character every season #still im obviously very emotional about it and carlos is my baby so i still thoroughly enjoyed the eps #i also loved everything with andrea in these eps #her and tommy meeting was very important to me #god and all the stuff with judd and wyatt is so heartbreaking this show is so fucking relentless #give these characters a break please!!#anyways the wedding itself was perfect i truly love wedding episodes of shows so much #i truly cannot believe this is the first proper full wedding weve seen in all of lone star AND 911 #like weve been cheated #911 lone star lb

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autisticlenaluthor · 1 year

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imagine being stuck in the hospital in the worst pain of your life, unable to tolerate any amount of food and a therapist comes in and tells you not to think that “this pain will be forever”

#i would rather accept that my chronic pain is going to exist forever (bc it will my conditions don’t have cures)#then live in denial and keep waiting for a miracle recovery that’s never going to happen

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gothamcityneedsme · 2 months

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gonna do the true neutral (or whatever tf you want to call it) smtv ending next. really annoyed that you only unlock special miracles if your alignment matches the ending you get. PLUS also very annoyed that if you do newborn ng+ you lose all the best miracles. its so maddening.

#shitpost #so since i have to do reborn ng+ its going to be VERY BORING #im basically skipping all quests except the ones I need so like. Khonsu's and Amanozaku's.#and maybe shiva will challenge me but im not sure because no other boss has because ive gotten uber powerful lol #I almost selected playing on hard but since you cant change it and i dont want to possibly have to grind for hours for money that like.#i didn't. so im just normal again. sigh #the real issue is money grinding is TERRIBLE with the open-world platforming style gameplay #its like you have to jump in all these fucking places #also the only place worth doing money runs in is the final map so like #you're stuck waiting for shit to respawn and its pointless to waste effort in the other maps #so it gets REALLY BORING beacuse you just DO NOT GET ENOUGH MONEY #i love smtv but i do look forward to seeing some qol changes.#especially concerning miracles.#anyways. whenever i replay in the future i'll probably keep doing newborn playthroughs but.#im sort of going to speedrun-ish to get this next ending #I just finished Law. was SO glad to see Tsukiyomi.. but like.#i feel bad. i killed him too fast.... i saw in his info he has liek #a duplication ability?#but i never got to see him use it LOL #i saw his cool moon attack but that was because i guarded and LET HIM DO IT instead of killing him that turn sdlfjkds

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certifiedyapperx · 1 month

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imagine you’re dating ghost and no one knows. the two of you have kept it a secret on your end and his just for your protection— because ghost knows what could happen if someone finds out, how someone might try and target you to get to him, or worse, given his line of work.

but then imagine that he’s on a mission, interrogating some piece of filth ready to decorate the fucking wall with his brain matter when the guy says “you know what, simon, killing me would be the biggest mistake of your life.”

immediately ghost would pause, eyes narrowed, though his hardened demeanour wouldn’t fade much, he’d just blankly stare at the prick like “oh yea? n’ why don’ you tell m’ why.”

the shit-eating grin that would crawl across that fuckers lips would have ghost ready to kill him right then and there, but then he’d say “reach in my pocket. pull out my phone.”

id like to think ghost would have absolutely none of this assholes bullshit, not at all entertained by his theatrics. i’d like to think he’d just press the muzzle of his gun to the fuckers temple within an instant, all teeth barred and ready to get it over with when the guy would add,

“your girlfriend is a fucking beauty, isn’t she?”

everything would pause. ghost, time, the world, air, the universe itself—the life that would drain from ghosts face would almost be enough to make his alias a reality. his heart pounding in his throat, his fingers fucking trembling as he immediately reached into the assholes pocket to find his phone—a picture of a woman tied up (face not in view however) lighting up on the home screen. there’d be no thinking rationally, no thoughts in ghosts head except for making sure you were fucking okay. he’d do whatever he’d have to do, kill the guy, leave him strapped there, whatever—he’d be out of that room in two seconds flat and personally flying the helicopter back to your house calling you nonstop every fucking second until you answered.

“hello? si?”

he’d wait a second before answering. taking everything in. background noises, the inflection of your voice. it sounds calm, maybe too calm? he’s grasping his phone so fucking hard it’s a miracle it hasn’t shattered between his fingers.

“princess,” he breathes, fighting with everything in him to keep his voice steady. “see any birds today?”

though it was a genuine question, it also was an established one. ghost had set up a series of questions for a situation precisely like this. if you said blue jay, it meant you were fine, at home, as usual. if you said crows, it meant you weren’t.

“oh just the usual blue jays, si.” he could almost hear the smile on your lips. “everything okay? i miss you.”

ghost would exhale a shattered breath. “i’m coming home.”

and then he’d show up, not all but a few hours later, hands still trembling slightly, heart rate still struggling to regulate. it was too much, reminding him too much of his past traumas, he knew he needed to find better protection for you, but that was a conversation for another time.

he’d come in the house, barely even taking the time to shut the door behind him, almost frenzied again, relentless, unable to relax until he could finally lay eyes on you. and then, the second he did, he’d just pause and look at you, all messy hair and pyjamas still on, in the kitchen cooking breakfast for you both since you knew he was on his way.

and he wouldn’t say a goddamn word, he’d just come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you so tight you’d hardly be able to breathe, his face buried in your hair and his heart thumping at your back. you’d feel the pain the fear the anxiety radiating off him and you wouldn’t try to say anything because you knew he needed this, you knew he needed to see you, hold you, feel your pulse stable and alive. you knew he just needed a moment to breathe.

and so the two of you would stand there like that for a while, and then he’d take a big inhale and spin you around to face him, pulling up his mask to plant soft kisses on your jaw.

“i love you so fuckin’ much.”

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awaara-bf · 3 months

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#dni #its embarrassing to even exist atp #i need a brainwash i need a purpose #when i wake up tomorrow at 2 pm or smthn and i lie about it to my parents or dont show up for commitments and meetings tomorrow none of this #will matter ill have forgotten every single bit of it except my deep rooted misogyny #or other stuff that i dont or cant and wont tell #im a loser and probably a creep #the try hard guy who thinks he's natural and expects things to come to him that he's the main character fighting battles in his head but in #truth hes just alone and everybody's living their own life and nobody's watching him #hes so starved for attention hes becoming desperate #hes becoming a creep a guy he hated so much he could gut one out just a couple of years back #what happened to me? did i keep waiting for all those miracles to happen? for a lottery to strike?#wasnt it luck enough i made it this far without having my share of fucked up things life offers to every single person??????#how did the things others brag about/take pride in became a point of embarrassment for me? something to hide from others #not to be shown to the world #fuck this shit I'm out

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monstersqueen · 4 months

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i fucking love how we started from the impossible - savign sakura is only possible if you defeat zouken and use the power of the grail to save her - to even more impossible - defeating zouken will just give the shadow even more power so you need to defeat the shadow - to more impossible ! no you can't defeat the shadow that's killing sakura !! good luck finding a way to save her even a hypothetical one !!! you can destroy the shadow and kill sakura or let the shadow keep on - allowing hundreds of deaths every day - and sakura will lose herself anyway

as long as there's a way - no matter how impossible - shirou can convince rin to try. he can stay sakura's ally, no matter how many victims that means.

but is there a way to save sakura, no matter how impossible ? where's the loophole ? the third option ??? something ????

look saving sakura here is impossible enough. you can't ask for the slightest more thing - not saber, not illya. sorry.

that shirou can save one is already more than allowed

#myposts #'you can only save one' said illya #how the fuck. even one is impossible #(i do know how. the loophole is breaking the contract.#the how is rin's love breaking through and shirou's who keeps trying to jump that high bar #even though he knows it's impossible)#((that's what he's doing this route. the bar keep getting set higher and higher #and he couldn't jump above it from the start !#every plan was just 'yeah if we do that and succeed by miracle then we will clear the bar'#but now it's basically : actually there's no bar. you can't clear it. here's why #so will shirou keep trying to jump above it ? well. yes.))#(((........wait did issei also see shirou try to jump that bar #if rin could be there even though she didn't go to the same shcool. so could issei right.#anyway sorry about that)))#mq's fsn 2023 lb

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thinkeroflovers · 6 months

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for some reason i always thought love would save me. i always thought God would just throw a miracle of love into my lap and everything would be okay and i’d be stronger. but i’m realising that only i can save me. and the only love that can save me is the love inside me. the love inside me. the love inside me. i need to be strong enough to love myself

#i’ve never had to fight for love but now i’m realising love really is action #i knew it vaguely #but i’ve never applied that kind of love as action to myself in ways it really mattered #i did a lot to overcome my fears this year so i could be happy which i would see as love of self and i’m grateful #but life is only gonna get harder and i’m going to have to keep on doing more scary things and finding the love and strength inside of me #to show myself that i am capable of love #and i can love myself #is this adulting?#idk #i feel like this epiphany is me growing up #like really no one is going to save me #and it’s just me #so i have to be there #for me #the love inside me that God gave me of course. because he is love.#but still #i was always so passive but i’m realising he really gave me all i need to love and to love myself and to love others #why have i been waiting for miracles when his love is living inside me???

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wastedlands · 6 months

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hey can i talk for a second about how during a cataplexy attack the person is entirely conscious

#and how much that FUCKING sucks #to be completely aware that you have no control over what your body is doing #ash is usually very distraught after it happens especially a full episode ;;#collapses to the ground and has to wait it out until he has control of his muscles again #also it's a miracle he hasn't cracked his skull open or seriously broken something else #i’ll find a new place to be from — 𝙤𝙤𝙘.#sorry to keep ashley posting but i love. he

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justtogetthrough · 8 months

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My workplace is having an epidemic of people not doing their fucking jobs and idk how it still manages to shock me at how helpless and incompetent people are getting, but not a week goes by where someone throwing in the towel before even looking into a request or issue makes me and my manager go what the FUCK????? Seriously?!?!?!

(The issue is that things keep getting brought to us being like oooh nooo CAS/a family/a kid is asking for [something], whatever will we doooo. And it is not our role to figure it out. We are not case management. It’s so fucking obvious what to do 85% of the time and we can’t figure out why everyone gives up so easily when all it takes is 10 minutes of critical thinking and bouncing some ideas around. Our jobs have gotten cumbersome because of how much time we are required to spend doing other people’s jobs lately. It’s garbage.)

#we don’t get paid enough for this #it’s created a positive feedback loop where because she and I keep ~saving the day~#people start believing we have power to pull miracles out of our butts #we don’t. we just spend the time thinking about things and discussing them together.#every supervisor and their manager should be doing this too. me and mine are some dream team of getting shit done #we both just care about the people we have responsibility towards and we want to help and we both driven by a strong sense of justice #we ARE. a great team because we’re so compatible #but the solutions we’re re finding are RIGHT THERE and so accessible to anyone who looks #im waiting for any month now for people to start dropping like flies onto stress leave #our staff has shrunk so much there’s no one to cover extended leaves and we’re all struggling with workloads #but inevitably we are all burning out and people’s brains/bodies are gonna force them to take time off work #and we have no capacity to cover long term leaves. like. over two weeks even.#our agency is so fucking mismanaged and it’s going to run us into the ground #personal #work stuff

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thebibliosphere · 11 months

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Not to keep reliving trauma on main, but I'm getting weird deja vu from where my health was a few years ago and where it's at now. And most of it is revolving around Good Omens.

In May of 2019, we genuinely thought I was dying because I was dying. My organs were in the process of shutting down because my red blood cells were prematurely self-destructing and damaging my kidneys in the process, and I was rapidly coming to terms with the fact that I might not survive much longer. I'd fought the good fight, and I'd lost. Mostly due to medical neglect. And I was mad about a lot of things, but do you know what I remember from the traumatic blur I'm left with?

"I'm going to be so pissed if I die before Good Omens comes out."

I'd waited 20+ years at that point for something like a tv adaptation of Good Omens. Ever since I was a child and my dad read the book to me, and I fell in love with it. And here I was, mere weeks away from the TV release and on the verge of death.

Then like a miracle, a miracle that hinged on human compassion and a doctor being willing to listen to me, I was saved. Dragged back from the jaws of death by a relentless hematology department that refused to give up on me and ultimately saved my life. And a week later, I got to watch Good Omens propped up in my own bed, still weak, still ill, with my heart stuttering in my chest every time I laughed. And I remember thinking, "I did it. I got to see it."

That it's now it's 2023 and my health has tanked again. My organs are rebelling against me and no one seems to know why. But yet again, a few weeks before Good Omens is set to release, I find a doctor who listens to me and is doing all he can to help. Striving with the grim kind of determination that can only come from a place of compassion and care. Like my world is worth saving, and not just his.

Which is rather fitting, I think.

#good omens #death mention #chronic health tag #I'm not saying it's a sign #I'm just saying if Neil wants to keep writing more Good Omens content #I will not object

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