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shimmershae · 4 years

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If you’re questioning what YNB means by the D0nnie “set up” apparently she followed up her statement with something like “they wrote it in a way that it’s carol’s “fault” that Connie was trapped, and that they wrote it “just enough” to make Daryl turn away from carol and into connie’s arms or something along those lines. I think we have to remember that while we love that she ships Caryl, I don’t think she watches it on the deep level that we do. Sad that she thinks this “rift” is permanent.

If that’s what she’s considering a set up, it’s weak. Especially considering all that these two characters have been through and how much they have grown emotionally, particularly Daryl.

Every action he has taken this season has been taken with Carol at the forefront of his thoughts. When he accompanied Siddiq to Hilltop, some of the first words out of his mouth were to EZ about Carol because he so unselfishly wants her to have the support she needs to work through her grief that he’s willing to have it come from what some would say is his competition (personally? I cannot be grouped in that some). Then he joined the search for Kelly because he’s been established as the best tracker the communities have.

Carol and Daryl have been through hell and back many times over at this point. So many family members blood and otherwise have died and so many tragedies have befallen them that if YNB really thinks that Carol and Daryl’s relationship, whatever you want to qualify it as, is irrevocably broken beyond repair over a character that is not that deeply entrenched in the shared communities and the viewers’ hearts and minds? I say it’s YNB’s faith that has been shaken. Not Daryl’s.

Sure, it hurt that Carol didn’t keep her word and that thus far, he hasn’t achieved the results he’s wanted to in pulling her from the darkness laying heavy over her broken heart. But the man said it himself. He’s never gonna hate Carol. It’s not in him. He’s so full of so much love he doesn’t even know what to do with that he spent the whole fucking night just chilling on a log with his obnoxious sworn enemy. For her. While C0nnie was still out there. Perhaps still trapped beneath a pile of fallen rocks (something’s off with Magna) or perhaps wandering the woods in a bloodthirsty fog. Perhaps struggling and fighting her way back to her sister. The point is Daryl has presumed her G.O.N.E. Had that been Carol out there? The man would still be searching. Forever searching. I mean, he searched for Rick’s body for 6 years. Imagine how long he would search for Carol’s if he thought her just lost out there? To infinity, lovelies. You can bet on it because even before their friendship had deepened beyond what it has now where I’m not even sure either one of them can quantity how very much the other means to them? The man tracked her down to the tombs and agonized over the possibility of what he might find there.

Other than looking torn up over Carol going back on her word and his perceived ‘failure’ as a leader to the people that got trapped? Dude has barely blinked an eye. He’s moved on and has been working to keep the rest of his family and community safe. The only thing he hasn’t moved on from is worrying about and caring for Carol.

So yeah. I think the so-called set up is flimsy. Laughable even. But if YNB wants to buy into it, it’s her prerogative. If she wants to lose faith like that and move on, it’s her choice. Definitely not the one I’m personally making.

I have to question, though, that she only looks surface deep with this show due to those damn notebooks of hers, lol. Something doesn’t add up about those two notions. I don’t know how exactly it’s possible to look for clues and keep a record about stuff that stood out to you and not see what’s staring you right in the face. Maybe she needs to polish her Caryl glasses some?

Thanks, anon. I’d read her follow up statements and honestly? I still cannot reconcile how differently different people can view the same show because I just cannot see it. The so-called set up. It’s weak ass. It’s barely there (if it even is). It’s something I wouldn’t dare claim if I wrote it because it’s embarrassing how poorly the groundwork has been lain if that’s where they really want to go. I mean. I’ve squinted and turned sideways and the only set up I still see is a set up to an eventual crescendo of how loud and proud Daryl finally is with his feelings for Carol. A climax where something finally gives and our babies finally see the light for what it actually is, lol.

Carol’s going to follow Daryl’s light. Right into his waiting arms.

I don’t know about y’all, but that’s the only set up these eyes have seen.

#The Walking Dead #asks #answers #Caryl #Carol x Daryl #Carol Peletier #Daryl Dixon #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons

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teasingly-neurotic · 3 years

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You know?

There’s something.. scary inside of me that honestly truly believed I could ever make someone happy.

I really believed that I was worthy of love.

But..

Literally.

I’m not.

Every single relationship in my life.

Whether it have been romantic or family related, or a friendship.

Every.

Single.

Person.

Has left me.

and it mostly reflects on me because I’m more than 99% of the cause.

except maybe for two people in my life who, are always suppsed to love you. People who are supposed to protect you from harm and evil.

my mom and dad.

my mom would sell me for a 10 dollar bag of dope without even flinching.

My father would beat me until I was black and blue just to relieve his anger from a woman HE chose to marry.

And my lover.

Oh oh oh.

The most beautiful.

Loving.

Generous.

man I have ever been so blessed to have even had the time of day from.

Jesus Christ, what a soul.

What a fucking strong, beautiful boy.

More of a man at 21 than any other guy I’ve known in my life.

More strong willed and caring and selfless than anyone I could even fathom.

he deserved more than this world could ever give him.

But somehow the fucking world... Gave him me.

ME.

Shyanne Renee Kelly, a fat, lying piece of shit whore.

a girl who lost herself so long ago, that he never stood a chance.

he fell in love with... whatever it was I wanted to be at the time.

Whoever she was, wow.

She was so lucky.

so so.. very blessed.

Life delivered her so many tragedies and the moment it finally gave her a gift

What did she do?

She ruined it.

Every.

Fucking.

Thing.

Touch.

Falls apart.

Everything.

And now I’m high.

Because that’s the only way I can cope with this hole he left inside of me.

all those words.

Those names.

I don’t even care.

I don’t.

He was right; and maybe that’s why it hurts so badly.

Because I was a cheating lying whore.

and he deserves a princess who will never hurt him. Who will and would make him feel like the prince / king he is.

My king.

but I ruined everything.

A very long time ago.

I ruined what he valued the most.

Our trust.

Our honesty.

our love.

we used to sit in call together in the early days, before him and I really had a title.

I was getting comfortable around him so quickly, which was not something I was used to.

this year, man it’s almost fucking over.

But this year.

It has literally been by far the hardest year yet

And the reason being because I lost my closest friend and protector to something I could not control.

And then I just lost the best fucking thing that could ever happen to me.

the best.

Fucking.

Thing.

He’s a good dude.

And he really really tried his best to be with me.

But I am not lovable.

I am, well, fuckable.

I never deserved him.

Not even for a second.

Not even on his worst day did I ever ever for a split second deserve him.

I’m so sorry that I ever ever ever tried to force something that was never going to work out.

Something I beat down and ruined on my own,

By being a disgusting lying whore.

I was raised by the best.

If you’re raised by wolves, don’t try to act like you fit in with the normal people.

I will never fucking fit because I don’t fucking belong.

I was meant to die.

#dead inside

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jaketheaudiophile · 4 years

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Best Albums of 2019

Well hello there! Long time, no see.

In keeping up with my lazy past tactics, I really only use this blog for end-of-the-year recaps anymore, which I’m completely fine with. I still listen to music as much as I always have, but have lost the desire to constantly write about it. I guess this is adulthood, or having a “real job” or something.

Either way, here are my top 15 albums of 2019. What were yours?

HONORABLE MENTION

DELTA SLEEP: “Younger Years” EP

released September 27 via Big Scary Monsters

Delta Sleep completely surprised everyone this year by releasing this EP without any prior announcement or notice. No teaser tracks, no hints at studio time, just completely out of the blue. Props to these British math-rock legends for their secrecy; it was certainly a fun thing to wake up and see all over social media on a random Saturday in September. These guys definitely have a formula or format they stick to on their releases, so this is more of the same for longtime fans, and that’s largely a good thing. I still think they tend to rely on filler tracks or noise too frequently, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. This was easily my favorite EP of 2019 and is definitely worth mentioning for this list.

#15

UNWED SAILOR: “Heavy Age”

released May 3 via Current Taste / Johnathan Ford

Man, was I really looking forward to this one. My favorite band releasing their first full-length album in 11 years? And their first new music in 6 years in general? What could go wrong? Not much, to be honest, but I felt overall underwhelmed with “Heavy Age”. Most of the songs run together or could use editing instead of just repeating passes ad naseum. Also, the 13-minute-plus album closer “When You Want Me There” is largely meandering and pointless. Still, I love Johnathan Ford and his merry band of musicians for a reason, and there are definitely quality songs and moments on this record. I worry that I might be including them here out of obligation, but it still was better than other records I left off my list this year. The band has also already announced another new record in 2020, and I’ll go into that with the same reckless abandon of excitement as I did this album.

#14

SOMOS: “Prison On A Hill”

released August 30 via Tiny Engines

I really, really, really wanted to love this record. Boston’s Somos had been teasing this album’s progress for over a year, and their previous releases have been some of my favorite pop and punk from the decade. I’m not always the biggest proponent of politically charged art, but Somos always did it in a way that was sensible and understated. Unfortunately, this album’s release came prematurely due to tragic passing of guitarist Phil Haggerty. The band was able to put out the album earlier than anticipated with all funding going to Haggerty’s funeral expenses and family, which was a wonderful move by record label Tiny Engines. The album doesn’t feel rushed or unfinished, but is a bit too muddled and all-over-the-place for my liking. Longtime drummer Evan Deges left the band prior to the recording of “Prison”, and Somos decided to go the route of programmed drums instead of a session musician or new band member. The result is sadly a bit soulless, although it does compliment some of the more electronic leans in the band’s sound as well. The truly sad thing is that this will most likely be the last release by this band per their social media and interviews post-release, and I wish that tragedy would not have struck them during a time of a seemingly musical lack of focus.

#13

COUNTERPARTS: “Nothing Left to Love”

released November 1 via Pure Noise Records

I’ve been a huge fan of these Canadian melodic hardcore mainstays for ages, but I wasn’t crazy about their last release, 2017′s “You’re Not You Anymore”. Two of my favorite members (drummer Kelly Bilal and guitarist Jesse Doreen) quit the band right before it came out, and the resulting record felt unpolished and rushed. Thankfully, a bit more seasoning for the new members on the road and in the studio seems to have worked wonders, as “Nothing Left to Love” is back on the quality path for these bruisers. I’ve always adored vocalist Brendan Murphy’s delivery, and it’s legit stunning that he still has a throat after years of brutal barking, let alone how good it sounds on this release. Additionally, the band has a clever skill of interweaving cool triplets or other rhythms and complex structures underneath otherwise traditional breakdowns or song structures, which puts them in rarified air in a traditionally by-the-numbers genre. All this said, the title track / album closer sort of ruins the album for me. It’s essentially an unnecessary clean, polished filler track and feels tacked on to extend the length of the record, and I almost always skip it. Still, it was excellent to hear these guys back on their game, and I’m excited to see where they go from here.

#12

STATE FAULTS: “Clairvoyant”

released June 21 via No Sleep Records

I can’t say that this is the most original record I’ve ever heard. Anyone who is a fan of Deafheaven or any similar noisy / thrashy metal outfits will certainly find this sound familiar. However, it’s done with an unabashed energy and brutality alongside a sincerity that is truly refreshing. There’s a fascinating rawness to both Johnny Andrew’s shrieking vocals and the utter cacophony his bandmates whip up throughout their songs. The dedication to melody throughout everything also makes the songs memorable. This album caught me completely out of nowhere via an Anthony Fantano shoutout and resonated in all its ugly glory.

#11

KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD: “Fishing For Fishies”

released April 26 via Flightless Records / ATO Records

Speaking of the Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd, I first heard of these Australian weirdos thru the Needle Drop’s channel, but didn’t really fully deep dive into their prolific catalogue until this year. The fact that they released 2 full-length albums in 2019 is impressive enough (let alone releasing FIVE in 2017), but it’s jaw-dropping that the two most recent efforts are on complete opposite ends in terms of sound and genre. I personally prefer the blues-rock goodness of “Fishies” to the thrash-metal leanings of “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, but unending respect to these dudes for managing to pull both off convincingly. . The album closer “Cyboogie” is a bit too overlong and bizarre for me, but it works as a nice transition to the concepts the band bring out for “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, so I get where they are coming from. This album has some of the most infectious grooves and blues guitar riffs I’ve heard while passing along a necessary message on environmental concerns and conservationalism. The serious bits aren’t require, though, and it’s certainly plenty of fun to kick out the jams and enjoy the ride.

#10

INFANT ANNIHILATOR: “The Battle of Yaldabaoth”

Self-released by the band on September 11

Ok, ok...I get it. Most people will dismiss these grindcore hooligans as an internet joke band. That’s really what I went into this record expecting: Absurd lyrics, hilarious-yet-impressive vocals, blistering blastbeats, etc. I was instead greeted by one of the impressive and intricate technical death metal albums I’ve experienced. Vocalist Dickie Allen truly outdoes himself with his quite frankly ridiculous vocal range, but Eddie Pickard truly deserves credit for the album’s newfound ventures. His guitar and bass work is over-the-top but mesmerizing, and the riffs and structures he crafts here are all sorts of brilliant. As funny as it feels to type out, this band really needs to be taken seriously, or at the very least should be commended for leaning into the joke and delivering something complex, disgusting and awe-inspiring.

JIMMY EAT WORLD: “Surviving”

released October 18 via Exotic Location and RCA Records

Speaking of things I didn’t see coming this year...I adore Jimmy Eat World. “Clarity” is one of my favorite albums of all time, but I’ve largely fallen off keeping up with the band’s recent releases. Some good friends (+realfriends) talked up their latest and 10th release, “Surviving”, so I picked it up out of curiosity and was stunned at how competent and compelling it is. I even love the song with no obvious guitars or drums that I would have probably normally panned as a grab at radio airplay (”555″), and generally find the album to be completely badass. Kudos to JEW for proving they still belong in the upper echelon of emo and rock.

THE GET UP KIDS: “Problems”

released May 10 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

...speaking of comeback records...well, maybe that’s not quite accurate, but this was another surprise from a band I grew up loving that had largely lapses in my regular rotation. I guess 2019 had a theme of revisiting bands of my youth due to them reforming, doing anniversary tours, or releasing new music for the first time in ages. The Get Up Kids fly back to the heights of old with a manic punk barrage of joy. It’s probably my fault for not keeping tabs on these guys, but this record is gutsy and charming and lovely. It’s not really reinventing the wheel, but GUK basically constructed the wheel to begin with, so we really owe them more credit all around.

BARS OF GOLD: “Shelters”

released April 12 via Equal Vision Records

Bars of Gold have been an enigma of sorts throughout their existence. Largely well-known due to rising from the ashes of indie / screamo miasma BEARVSSHARK, the band is content to rest on their laurels and release music and play shows whenever they feel like it, largely due to family and other commitments. This leaves fans like me tripping over their own feet whenever something does come out. The Michiganders truly feel like a group of dads finding the one day a month when they all have a free evening to plug in their guitars and whip up some chaos, and it’s always fun to see the results. Marc Paffi has also always been one of my favorite vocalists, so the opportunity to hear his wacky lyrics and throat is always cherished. Here’s hoping we don’t need to wait 5 or so years for another album, but patience has been rewarded with these guys.

ORIGAMI ANGEL: “Somewhere City”

released November 15th via Chatterbot Records

Props to my buddy Steve Lee for turning me on to this band (as well as 2 others in my top 5). Origami Angel are one of those bands that defies logic: “How can two dudes make so much noise?”, “How can he play guitar like that while singing?”, “How did these guys put out one of the best indie rock records of the year seemingly out of nowhere?”, etc. Regardless of any questions, I was floored by this album and it was definitely the band I listened to the most for the last part of the year. It’s catchy, diverse, well-rounded and doesn’t overstay its welcome by being just under 30 minutes long with all the fat trimmed off. What more could you want?

PEDRO THE LION: “Phoenix”

released January 18 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

I had a strange moment at some point this year where I found a YouTube video of David Bazan performing a song from Pedro The Lion’s first release (2001′s It’s Hard To Find a Friend”). I was struck by how different his voice sounded nearly 2 decades later thanks to touring and life in general. It certainly was not a bad change, but just one that struck me as a sign of the passage of time. That sort of nostalgia and reflection is all over “Phoenix”, which is largely Bazan dusting off his childhood diary and describing memories of his hometown, tales of school, church, regret, family, plans and tragedies. It’s a celebration of memories, lessons learned and where one comes from, and Bazan’s direct delivery and brilliant-yet-understated lyrics paint perfect pictures. Hopefully it doesn’t take us over a decade for another Pedro release, but Bazan and company cement their status as songwriters and storytellers with this release.

PUP: “Morbid Stuff”

released April 5 via Rise Records and Little Dipper

PUP was a new phenomenon for me this year. These Canadian rockers are full of piss and vinegar, supercharging a sound that is simultaneously infectious and off-putting in the best possible way. They take a genre that can be same-y and repetitive and inject a lesser band’s whole back-catalogues’ worth of creativity and energy, leaving the listener enthralled and endlessly guessing what will happen next. Vocalist Stefan Babcock takes some getting used to, but his permanent-sneer delivery and slam poetry has a charm that compliments his playful and honest lyrics. However, it’s the moments where he busts out of his speak-singing or general hollering to delivery a super catchy hook or chorus that truly put him at another level and proves PUP to be one of the most exciting things to happen in the punk and rock genre.

MASKED INTRUDER: “III”

released March 1 via Pure Noise Records

With the exception of Unwed Sailor, this was my most anticipated record of 2019. Masked Intruder is one of those bands I listen to constantly. I usually default to putting my iTunes or Spotify on shuffle, and find it always makes me happier. For “III” the band hotwired their usual fun, tongue-in-cheek poperpop and craft a pretty perfect record in the process. Previous MI albums had a skippable track here and there, but this one is all killer, no filler. I’ve always adored the underlying Motown or doo-wop foundations in their songwriting and vocal harmonies, which add a timeless throwback quality to their song structures. The heart-on-sleeve lonely lyrics and constant references to petty crimes and best-laid plans are the icing on the top of this sugary musical sundae. It might be irreverent and occasionally basic, but sometimes that is all I wanted in music, and these guys delivered it in spades with this record.

FREE THROW: “What’s Past is Prologue”

released March 29 via Triple Crown Records

From the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, Nashville’s Free Throw released a quality emo record that doesn’t focus on pining for lost loves or revisiting relationship heartbreak and instead dives into one’s personal mental health and well-being. Props to vocalist Cory Castro and the rest of the band for completely baring all and channeling their honesty into this powerhouse album. However, there’s also plenty of diversity in the band’s sound and delivery. No song really sounds like the next, largely thanks to the band employing 3 guitar players who rarely play the same thing as each other. Some emo staples are here, though, such as frenetic drumming, clever tapping riffs, and stripped down moments with just a guitar and Castro’s vocals. All in all, this record makes you feel better about yourself and truly feels like the band came to the same conclusion while making it, which is gargantuan. When Castro belts out “TODAY I FINALLY LEARNED TO SAY I LOVE MYSELF” towards the end of the album-closing title track, you can’t help but root for him in his own journey towards mental health, but to not feel inspiring to do the same for yourself. It will encourage and inspire you, and feels deeply personal and universal all at the same time.

SNOOZE: “Familiaris”

Self-released by the band on May 3

There were so many times during this past year where I’d be driving, doing chores, at the gym or doing some sort of menial task where I’d decide to put on music and stop myself short of putting on this record again. I’d say “OK, you have to listen to something else besides the Snooze album. You’re doing to get sick of it if you keep listening to it this much. We don’t want that to happen.” Despite these odd concerns, I can say that this truly never happened. This album is effortlessly relistenable to me and has become my anti-depressant. I can’t help but feel charged up on happiness and charm while this is playing. It’s so chock full of killer vocal harmonies, clever yet crazy guitar riffs, well-restrained double-bass fills and brilliant song arrangements. It’s also a cyclical record, meaning one song runs right into the next and the end of the album theoretically plays right into the start, which makes turning it off quite difficult indeed. Add to all this the fact that it’s a concept album about how amazing dogs are, and you’re left with a spellbinding listening experience. This is one of the best records I’ve heard this decade, let alone this year, and essentially locked its place as my album of the year during my first playthru. Well done, Snooze. Who’s a good boy?

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awed-frog · 7 years

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The frustrating thing for me, when people use Dean's issues to point out WHY he handles emotional situations badly is that the sympathy isn't with the people that suffers because of it (like Cas). It's with Dean. An explanation for Dean's behaviour shouldn't become a justification. If Dean loves Cas but treats Cas badly, why should we root for this relationship? Him almost killing Cas is about CAS' suffering, not his. But his reaction is not about what Cas deserves, but about his wants. IMO etc.

I’ve been trying to come up with something clever about this ask for a few days, but I got nothing, so I’m just going to tell you what’s going through my mind in the clearest possible way.

1) The viewers will often have a favourite and defend them to the death, and if you find it frustrating, there’s not much you can do other than unfollow people or blacklist some tags. I understand where you come from - I also get annoyed when people justify everything’s a character’s ever done, even the most twisted and problematic things, just because they like him or her. To be honest, I think I stopped caring when I saw a discussion about how Tate Langdon was the perfect boyfriend - some part of my soul just shrivelled and died and I decided that yep, some people are batshit insane and most people get unreasonable around stuff they love, and what can you do about it?

2) If you’re talking about the writers/creators of a show, on the other hand, I think it’s important to remember where is our POV and what kind of story those people are telling. Like, Supernatural is not House of Cards: whatever he does, Dean will be written as sympathetic, and since we see this world (mostly) from his POV, everything is reflected back on him. I know some people get angry about this - characters getting killed to make the Winchesters feel bad, or simply to advance the plot - but that’s how you tell a story (everybody does the same thing, and if you don’t see it, it means they’re doing their job right). Your main characters are the ones who matter, and the ones whose emotions we care about. So, even when it comes to someone as important to the story as Cas is, Dean will get most of the plot, and this is just how things work.

The next point might upset some people, so I’ll place it under a cut. Stay safe.

3) On placing sympathy on the abuser, rather than the victim - I think there are several reasons for this. One is that, traditionally, our stories in the West are about the conquerors and the victors, not those who have been defeated (when Euripides wrote a tragedy about the Trojan noblewomen being sold off as slaves after the war, people were not happy, and that play is still controversial today). At the same time, we all realize, because we’re not psychopaths, that violence is not nice, and that’s how you end up with this compromise narrative best summarized by Frankie Boyle.

Another aspect of this is that many victims are women (or people ‘outside’ a community, such as queer people or POC), and many abusers are men, and, again, traditionally we give less weight and importance to the feelings and wellbeing of women than we do to those of men. Combine that with the fact many storytellers (I use the term loosely) are men, and you get where we are today: a story about a woman being beaten by her husband is ‘boring’ and not something the audience will want to watch, but the story of a tortured man who can’t help but beat his wife because demons is ‘interesting’ and worth everyone’s attention.

Finally, I think there’s a combination of these two factors in play as well - we mostly want to see stories about people acting, not reacting; about people being brave and fighting and winning, because we generally identify with the main character and we want some sort of happy ending for them. And the problem is - a victim of violence who overcomes this violence - that can still be perceived as a bleak story, right, because abusers are often a solid part of the community (husbands and fathers in family dramas, soldiers and commanders in war movies), which means that this kind of stories are, in their very nature, unsettling and revolutionary, because what they’re telling you is that the community was wrong in trusting those people. It’s no wonder, really, that Francesco Rosi’s Uomini contro was threatened, sued, and had great trouble to find distribution in Italian cinemas: despite being a movie about a century old war, it sided - very clearly - with the soldiers who’d been brutalized by their own commanders, and while the situation was well-known and mostly accurate from a historical point of view, the backlash was still enormous. And this is the same reaction you get, not only towards fictional stories, but about real ones too. All those murder-suicides - ‘normal’ men killing their wives and children before shooting themselves - both the media and the public’s reaction is inevitably incredulity and a refusal to dig deeper. We want to believe our societies are healthy and we want to believe that men (unlike women, those fickle and untrustworthy creatures) are mostly right about everything, and this is what we get as a result. We’re so good at ignoring violence it sometimes comes back to haunt us (is it just me or all the latest US shooters had priors of domestic violence?). So, you see - a man coming to terms with his own anger and becoming a better person, that’s an inspiring story we’re all okay with; but a woman standing up to her husband, that’s a bit different. There’s a seed of revolt there, a sort of If she did it, why can’t I? that we really don’t want people to see.

(In case it’s not clear, I’m violently against all of this. I’m sick of this kind of stories, and I do think that we need some waking up and some revolution in our communities.)

4) You say an explanation shouldn’t mean a justification, and I totally agree, but I also think it’s hard to do this right, both IRL and in fiction, because the more you know about someone, the more you empathize with them, which means any villain can become redeemable with the right background story - just ask Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. As for Dean and Cas, I don’t think Dean ever justified his own behaviour; in fact, he even atoned for it, in his own Dean way, when he allowed a crazed Cas to beat him up and insisted in keeping the bruises. It wasn’t perfect, but, then again, neither is Dean.

5) Why should we root for this relationship if Dean treats Cas badly - does Dean really treat Cas badly? I don’t think so. Dean is a MESS, all capitals. He tries his best, and I really feel for him, but the truth is, he doesn’t know how to do this. As far as we know, he didn’t have any friends or significant relationships growing up, and by the beginning of the series, the only person he seems to connect to in any healthy way is Bobby. Honestly - it takes years for Dean, who grew up as a soldier and a conman and a loner and never had a right to his own childhood and a life that wasn’t taking care of his brother and helping out his father, to get better at this. And, sure, the relationship with Cas is no different - at the beginning, Dean is confrontational, a sarcastic little shit, occasionally cons Cas into having his way - but the magic of what happens between them is that pretty soon, all of Dean’s traditional walls and posturing take a step back. What’s really special here is that Dean is honest with Cas in a way he isn’t with anyone else, and despite the fact he loves Cas so fiercely, he mostly tries to respect his decisions, and is never harsh with him if not in very extreme circumstances. Personally, the one moment between them I truly hated was Dean’s Nobody cares that you’re broken, because, OUCH - looking back, I can see that this was Dean channelling John, but still - it was an incredibly dickish thing to say (and it must have haunted Dean in Purgatory, especially since, as far as he knew, Cas had died - because of him). As for the rest of it - I doubt we’ll ever have fluffy lines between them, but that doesn’t mean they’re not incredibly soft with each other. I don’t know if you were referring specifically to S12E19, but Dean pushing Cas against a wall in anger - that’s not abuse. He knows he can’t hurt Cas (physically) unless he really tries, so that scene was about Dean needing to put his hands on Cas, to feel him, to make sure he was there and he was okay; and also a harmless way to let his frustration out, to say what he doesn’t know how to put into words (that he cares, that is, and that he doesn’t need Cas to bring him back any win, the dumbass, because that’s not what actually matters). And maybe that reaction doesn’t seem soft to you, but this is Dean Winchester, right, the killer even demons are afraid of and the guy who basically doesn’t trust anyone - Cas just spent weeks MIA, never bothered to call, didn’t tell them he had a line on Kelly, stole the Colt form Dean knowing full well how much that weapon meant to him, collaborated with Heaven without telling him one word about it - and, on the whole, Dean’s not even angry. He’s worried, and he’s frustrated (with Cas; with himself), but he understands why Cas did what he did, and that makes all the difference.

“Dude, if anybody else - I mean anybody - pulled that kind of crap, I would stab them in their neck on principle. Why should I give him a free pass?”

“Because it’s Cas.”

You know - I always felt that for Dean, who’s always been coded as the ‘female’ character both with Sam and with Cas, the Mark of Cain was the ultimate undoing precisely because it took from him all those ‘feminine’ traits which are such a profound part of who he is. The fact that it all culminated in him beating the hell out of Cas, in a reversal of their traditional ‘fights’ (I’m inverted commaing this because most of those happened under some sort of mind control, so they weren’t really fights), was, in a way, a complete assertion of his new role of Alpha Male - while Cas had stepped back into a more traditional ‘feminine’ role the whole season. In this sense, I understand that the narrative focused way more heavily on Dean, because he was the one acting out of character and doing ‘weird’ things - but ideally, yes, I would have wanted to know what that beating meant for Cas, what he was thinking as he healed himself, and everything else. So, yeah - it’s a mess, and it’s not a traditional love story, perhaps, but I still think they’re right for each other and they do make each other happy, so personally, I’m rooting for them. There are tons of abusive relationships on TV that are passed off as normal, even romantic, but this isn’t one of them.

#ask #destiel #deancas #spn season 12 #spn 12x19 #domestic violence for ts #traditional narratives #not sure if this is clear or not #but it's mostly how i feel about this issue

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