Zack's ADHD

Zack fair has ADHD. That's something I see tons of people acknowledge that I myself agree with, but a lot of it feels very shallow/surface level? I mostly see people talk about his diffculty paying attention, but never really explore a lot of the other symptoms of ADHD that he very clearly has. In general, ADHD has symptoms that can be put in two categories. These being inattentiveness and Hyperactivity/Impulsive behavior. I'm going to try to go into each symptom I've seen him display. Going through things that fall under inattentiveness since that's what most people focus on first and foremost! Obviously, Zack has a short attention span. The opening of Crisis core has Angeal setting him back on track multiple times, and has to remind him of his mission. That bleeds into another symptom of ADHD, which is having a hard time listening to or following instructions.

Another few symptoms of ADHD under inattentiveness is being disorganized, forgetful, and making careless mistakes. Zack has shown to fit under all of these things in DMW scenes. One in particular features him both losing materia AND forgetting his sword.

Again, we see that he's a messy person when he's talking to Aerith in another DMW scene.

Now I'm going to go into the symptoms that fall under Hyperactivity. Some of the most talked about symptoms he exhibits are a lack of ability to stay still, excessive physical movement, and excessive talking. Noteably too, people with ADHD can have difficulty controlling the volume of their voice, or how fast they speak. For example here, Zack is told right before to calm down by Angeal, and immediately proceeds to talk loudly (giving away their position.)

Circling back to the previously mentioned symptoms, trouble staying still and excessive movement are some of the few things I feel people notice first in correlation to ADHD, but never really think about what it really is in the context of ADHD. Zack tends to do squats when he's excited. It's a repeated motion he does to calm himself down and/or focus. Sound familiar? that's because it's stimming. Interupting conversations lines up with ADHD, and is something Zack does in-game too!

Here he interupts Angeal's speech (and gets a fond smile in turn. I will bring this up later for something else). Zack is impulsive by nature, and tends to rush into things without a clear plan. He has a very absent sense of danger sometimes as well. All of which fall under the Hyperactivity category of ADHD symptoms.

The symptoms I see in Zack that hardly a soul has acknowledged though, is him being easily frustrated or irritated. ADHD makes it hard to regulate emotions, and Zack showcases this a lot throughout Crisis Core. For Zack, this sometimes seems to fall under under Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is common in people with ADHD. It's a discomfort and difficulty regulating feelings of failure or rejection. For Zack, this also takes the form of confusion/frustration/annoyance. However, in most instances of him taking criticism, he mostly manages to move past his and take the criticism/corrections to improve himself. Funnily enough, you can see his quick frustration/irritatrion in the very first cutscene when Angeal jumps down to elaborate on the parts of the mission he missed because Zack jumped a bit too soon due to his eagerness (more impulsivity). Zack gets angry due to this interuption to the task he was focused on, and becomes cheerful as soon as he is able to get back to his task. The frustration with interuption and being quickly upset is interesting. There are more instances of this kind of behavior, and it all really feels like it falls under this umbrella of him struggling to regulate his emotions. This also goes hand in hand with his stimming, since it isn't just the frustration/anger he has difficulty managing. His excitement and stress is something we also see him have difficulty managing, and can be tied into a lot of the other aspects of ADHD I have discussed here! Zack gets frustrated again later when Angeal ends the training simulator, and puts an end to the task he had been hyperfocused on.

It's an irrational anger, but it makes more sense when read through this lense. Zack was excited and hyperfocusing on his mission. He charged ahead without hearing or understanding the full objective, and almost got hurt (in the context of the training sim). The sim was ended before Zack felt it was "finished", which resulted in a frustration he expressed outwardly. His hasty behavior and exciteability is a core character trait, but makes far more sense if you read him as a character who lives with ADHD. How he is written and how other characters interact with him is interesting to watch as well! One thing in particular I love a lot is Angeal's treatment of Zack's ADHD tendencies. For being in the military, which is a very unforgiving enviornment, Angeal shows quite a lot of compassion for Zack's ADHD tendencies. Things that would normally get him into trouble are instead corrected rather gently! Angeal consistently repeats instructions to Zack when he needs it, and keeps a firm hand when he guides Zack through missions. He never tells Zack to sit still. He never berrates him for his interjections (Zack going "And? And and and?"). The only time he really scolds Zack is when he's doing something that may endanger them.

For example, here they're on a mission that requires stealth. Zack being loud isn't normally a problem, but here, they need to be relatively quiet in order to achieve their goal. Angeal is compassionate and understanding when Zack is... doing things that are very ADHD coded. As mentioned earlier, Angeal doesn't get upset when Zack interupts him. Instead, he just smiles. It's likely Angeal was the one who taught Zack to do squats to stim, actually. In the Ever Crisis version of Crisis Core, Angeal says this to Zack. Although it's not necessarily canon, it's still entirely plausible and just. Very wholesome.

More of Angeal's tolerance for Zack can be seen here, when Zack's attitude slips after being criticized, and Angeal pays it no mind. (Again, his rejection sensitive dysphoria plays a part in having him react rudely)

Again, you need to keep in mind that despite their closeness, Angeal is still both his mentor and superior. He doesn't have to be as patient with Zack as he is in-game, but he does so anyway because... that's just how he is. Angeal cares a LOT about his loved ones, and Zack is included in this. He shows a lot of love to this little guy! I think it's nice, because I love seeing characters with ADHD being treated with consideration by others. It's something I wish people did more IRL, really. Lots of ableism surrounding aspects of ADHD that aren't as easy to romanticize and considered "annoying", so having Angeal respond to them with understanding makes me incredibly happy. Altogether I just absolutely love Zack as a character. I love reading him with ADHD since I have it myself. I just want people to see the depth to it more though, since there's more to it than just "he's high energy and gets distracted". You get to understand his actions or irrational behavior a lot more when you dive past the surface of his writing. Big, massive, enormous fucking thanks to my bestie @rune-rapier for letting me bounce ideas to and from him!! He helped me get a lot of these scenes in here to analyze, and brought up a LOT of points that made it in this post, and made it a lot easier for me to word.

Why the hell did they think I was a troll?? Was that a democrat or republican, Because I can't tell but it could very well be either because both sides have some crazy fucking people. I don't even think what I want is that insane, But then again I haven't posted here since my mother finally stopped basically feeding me 24/7 insane propaganda like 'snake people' and shit.

I'm not even against abortion 100%, I just don't think the procedure should be a fucking thing outside of medical reasons!!! Medical reasons being the mother would die from the birth and a pill wouldn't take care of it. Abortion pills work for 15 weeks, AKA 3.5 fucking months!! Thats enough, Isn't it?? I can understand case by case using the procedure if pills aren't working, But gosh!

I'm not giving cops money and cheering them on in the streets, But I'm also not gonna tell them to fucking die!! Saying all cops are bad because there are a few that's corrupted is crazy! I've had cops save my life, I've had them traumatize me as well. Yes, Some are absolutely fucking insane and not ready to be a cop! We don't need to abolish police, (though I would REALLY prefer the alternative of ELECTING A SHERRIF and letting them have a DEPUTY and that be it, The Deputy giving others training to be public servant ect ect or whatever happens with deputies) We just need to give all police officers the same training military gets so they don't accidentally shoot, So they're ready for situations that would require being calm even if they're at gunpoint!! Give them a fucking mental evaluation!!

And don't get me fucking STARTED on school shootings. It could ALL be PREVENTED by giving teachers guns inside of a safe, In every classroom. Mental evaluations every WEEK for the teachers. School shootings are so common now, But when my dad was a kid they had shit like archery practice and he told me that in his entire time there no accidents happened!!! It got banned after some parents complained it 'could be dangerous.' Schools need way more fucking funding and put TRUSTED people as teachers. We need to give our schools the help we can since the fucking government isnt.

And I'm gay, You all know my fucking stance on that. I think being trans is a REAL thing that happens! I think some people would GENUINELY be happier as the other gender, But I think letting children, Who're EASILY INFLUENCED by EVERYTHING!!! I thought I was a fucking zombie because I loved zombie movies!! If I could've chosen I would've LOVED to be PERMANENTLY DISFIGURED to LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE!! And I would've fucking regretted it later. My entire life I've gone by so many different names. 'Zack' in kindergarten through 2nd grade, And then in 3rd I tried to get everyone to call me 'Rose' And then, In 7th grade, For a while, I used my real name. Then in 9th I told people I was trans and to call me Mark. It's since been changed again, But I don't wanna give out my age, Grade or new name people could identify me irl with. I am biologically a woman (and don't plan on changing that, I just like guy names) and so many times in the past I would have JUMPED at the chance to do hormone therapy, WHICH MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO'VE GONE ON SAY IS NOT REVERSABLE LIKE THEY SAY, Or to completely transition. The reason so many trans people kill themselves isn't from bullying, It's because so many people make a mistake and rush to cut it off or stitch it on and then realize they'll never be the same, Or they realize that it hurts horribly every day and theres no going back to how they used to be, Or they realize they weren't trans in the first place. Some people just like people someone else online, Being different characters, Or like being boys online and a girl in real life. That isn't them being trans, Its just liking a persona. I probably worded this one weirdly I'll just take asks about it and clarify anything that may have came off wrong

I am autistic and have ADHD, BPD and possibly schizophrenia, So I'm not ableist.

My older sister, Whom I grew up with and love dearly, Is black. I do not find my race superior to any others, So I'm not a racist.

My dad is the most important person in my life, And I want to be just like him, No daddy issues.

Mommy issues though, You got me there haha

I don't hate men, In fact so many times here I've stuck up for them. Equal rights, Equal fights. Equal rights ALSO means whatever a WOMAN does, It's okay for a MAN to do. Single fathers shouldnt get suspicious or dirty looks just for fucking existing with their child.

I don't hate women, I love women (literally I'm a lesbian). I think equal pay is fair if both genders are doing the same amount of work, So like. Basically I think more jobs should be 'You get paid per amount of work' and not 'fuck you guys even if he sleeps all day and does none of the work we pay him twice as much because he's been here long >:('

I have bitches, Usually a new one every week honestly (I start relationships fast, I'm 'pretty' for societies standards so it's easy to get more girls), But I'm settling down for now and I'm actually happy

I don't know why I'm still writing literally nobody asked okay bye

I remember that long ago, I said that Karzahni is my least favorite character in the franchise doe to disliking how he was treated from 07 onwards. While I still ovetall dont like what was done to Karzahni, I feel that my feelings towards his character are more complicated than that, and I feel more mixed than anything else.

Firstly, I ADORE his backstory. Just, the whole thing with him being essentially made to be a fixer/healer, only for him to fail at his job and go mad from it. Karzahnis backstory is honestly rather tragic if you look deeper, and I honestly want to write some meta and/or fanfic regarding the guy, theres so many thoughts I have about him and want to share with the world.

I must also admit while the "ruler of hell" concept is a bit cheesy , it is executed pretty well. Karzahnis introduction in Dark Destiny is brilliant, and I love the way hes utilized there. Hes such well utilized villain, softspoken but absolutely cruel and does his purpose well.

As for rest of his appearences do I still dislike them? Yes, I do. At the same time I do wonder what else they couldve DONE to Karzahni. Bevause honestly, Greg kinda wrote himself to a corner with a character concept like Karzahni due to him being basically a ruler of a minor location and his characterization being very tied to that. As such, I cant really be too mad that Karzahni was treated the way he was. Because again, while it was underwhelming, it was easier to use him in tht way. I honestly feel this was probably a reason he was killed, as he didnt really have any purpose in the story anymore. So yeah, still dont like how hes treated, but I understand why.

Lastly...Karzahnis weird to me since, he's written in a way that makes him easily to read as not only very mentally ill, but also neurodivergent. And this makes me mixed since on one hand, this is a big reason why I'm interested in him and want to make more sympathetic portrayal of the character...but at the same time Karzahni falls to the whole "mentally ill character portrayed as an insane madman" trope, which can be a huge turnoff for people and even seen as hurtful if not outright ableistic. I DOUBT he was written to be purposefully hurtful towards mentally ill or neurodivergent people, and instead feel it was of an ignorant carelessness than malice. I also wouldn't call Greg ableist for writing Karzahni the way he did (I dont like calling out ppl of having hurtful view for just the fiction they wrote, and even if I did, I would use some of his comments regarding Tuyet, but even then I feel its more like not thinking that using the word "insane" to describe a tyrant could hit a sore spot for some people than Greg being purposefully ableist.) Again I will probably make a deeper post on this later, so wont go too in depth.

But yeah Karzahni is just so weird since, he just has a lot of aspects I like for a character, but he isnt utilized well in the story imho. Not to mention how I feel extremely mixed on him being a very clearly mentally ill character.

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

aren’t u that blog that constantly promotes self dx and bashes professional dx? like self dx is fine but it’s a last resort for people who can’t access prof dx.

I don't bash prof dx, first off. I fully understand and respect people who needed one for any reason.

However self diagnosis should never be treated like a backup for if you can't get a prof dx and here is why:

(Disclaimer: exact details vary by country making this not fully accurate in every country also I am not saying that treatment is bad or that therapists are inherently bad I am currently trying to seek therapy but any good therapist will treat you without a diagnosis if they are aware of the legal consequences of one)

You can and likely will lose your rights for your diagnoses. It's different by country but in the US if your diagnosed with things like DID, Autism, and probs a lot more you won't be allowed to go on HRT if you're trans. You may have your children taken away if you have any, you may be prevented from donating or receiving blood or organs, if you have abusive family members they may be able to put you under a conservatorship (what happened to Britney Spears) etc.

Literally the vast majority of psychologists do not study these disorders! Do you know what they do when they prof dx? THE SAME SHIT PPL WHO SELF DX DO. The dx process is exactly the same but with a professional dx you have someone who doesn't have that thing, who has no actual first hand experiences, listening to you talk about that thing and telling you whether or not they think you have it with literally no input from the community.

By saying every one has to try to be prof dxed before they're allowed to self dx you're saying that people of color should put up with blatant racism because there's so many documented biases.

Also the criteria that therapists use to diagnose is found in the dsm5, have you read it? I have, it says that autistic people cannot take care of themselves that they're prone to self harm bc of their autism and that they should have their needs ignored it uses all the labels that autistic people ask it doesn't. It says that even if an adult fits all the criteria of ADHD that if their parents arent available to say "yeah they sucked at school and were annoying" that you shouldn't diagnose them. The criteria for personality disorders, schizophrenia, and similar are all intentionally vague and/or exclusionary to one highly stereotyped set of symptoms. They literally admitted to trying to make the criteria for DID as specific and exclusive as possible because they wanted to remove it entirely because they believed people dxed with MPD before DID was coined did not deserve treatment.

The field of psychology started historically to abuse people, they were thrown into asylums and literally beaten and subjected to horrible conditions for any presumed mental illness. This actually has not changed very much at all, even in the last century a psychiatrist was caught physically abusing his patients and using the theory he made on DID to force them to keep coming to him for therapy. Psyche wards are notorious for mistreating patients there in every aspect and I've had psyche students tell me they believe that psychologists should have the right to physically harm patients. Children professionally dxed with autism are often physically harmed at school by their teachers, physical restraint is still used and it's killed multiple autistic students.

Children and teens in abusive homes have ableist parents often who may get violent or worsen the abuse or use a dx against them legally to trap them at home. Do you give them a pass for self dx? Except here's the thing you literally don't know who's being abused and who isn't and asking ppl that is really fucked up so you should be accepting all self dx to create a welcoming and safe space for them.

Physciatrists actually misdiagnose more than people mis-self-diagnose. Which isn't a reflection on the psychiatrist as much as the fact that people know their own experiences but they very often can't explain them. An example before I met someone who had OSDD1 and would explain it to me from first hand perspective no one would have ever suspected I had a dissociative disorder and was plural Because the only words I had for my experiences were "everything before a certain date literally wasn't me idk I'm just not the same person I was" "I'm a really good writer because I talk to characters in my head all day and they respond to things even when I'm not trying to think about them and they're real to me somehow idk lol" none of that sounds like DID but I was actually describing memory gaps from switches, internal communication and presence of fictives, etc. The best guest anyone had was depression and an overactive imagination. Self dxing is literally more accurate and accessible because people can look at the community and see the disorder explained from first hand experience.

Historically (but it's still happening in some cases) therapists would literally refuse treatment to anyone who talked to other people with their diagnosis. The case I'm thinking of is people with MPD (the dx that came before DID replaced it) would be refused therapy if they spoke to anyone else with MPD outside of therapy and even forbade them from going to support groups for survivors of incestual abuse because those groups advocated for the rights of people with MPD. To this day therapists often disrespect any and all ND/mentally ill communities because we happen to know our own literal lived experiences better than them.

Oh and prof dxes are often used against people legally so if anyone is in a minority group often targeted by police that potentially puts them in even more danger if they're arrested. Least we forget there's an entire field of study dedicated to criminalizing mental illness.

This isnt even half the reasons but I'm running out of spoons (I can source most of these things but I don't have the spoons so if anyone needs a source just ask)

I'm a firm believer that the need for prof dx not be pushed on everyone when it can have permanent and negative consequences and is no better than a self dx. If someone needs a diagnosis for access to medications, for financial support, or for any other legal reason then it very well may be worth the risk but they need to have the right to understand the consequences and make that decision. Imo it's professional dxes that should be not a last resort perse but it shouldn't even remotely be your first steps, your first steps are find the community and hear their actual lived experiences bc that will be so much clearer than anything a therapist who doesn't experience that thing can explain.

Also why do you care if people self dx? Why does their not having an Official Document saying they have their disorder bother you? I think it's deeply unsettling that you think everyone in the entire world needs YOUR approval to have something.

Jsyk the sentiment that self dx is lesser than prof dx is fostered by our capitalist nt society that's benefiting off of our abuse and systematic oppression so like you're literally helping us stay oppressed with this rhetoric.

If y'all really want to be progressive and anti-capitalist like most of this site does (and should) then that goes for disability justice too. Stop helping our own communities abuse and accept that not everyone has the luxury you apparently had to never be affected by your diagnosis ever.

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

_

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

IM SO GLAD I FOUND YOUR BLOG!!! I really connected with Denki and I don’t understand how the fandom likes Jirou so much??? Like she doesn’t mean it or whatever but she’s lowkey ableist. How are you gonna hc Denki with adhd then have her calling him stupid all the time as a joke?? Idk, I have adhd and Jirou reminds me of those ppl I would laugh with cause I was too embarrassed to say anything else and it’s giving me rancid vibes

fdajkahgjk thankk uuu

i think no one really calls her out is because she’s cool and shit. like the only reason why its not the discourse on the level of bkdk is a) jirou isnt even in the main 10 of the cast and their relationship is not the main drive of the story lmao b) shes not a character like bakugou, you dont get her anger and all the other emotions thrown in your face at all times, and she never went to the extreme of telling kami to kill himself (which was the lowest point for bakugou). she lashes out sometimes, but all other than that she’s super cool! she’s kinda cold, but gets embarrassed easily and shes shy about her hobbies and shes a good friend! /s

well to everyone except kaminari. being a good or even a decent friend isn’t just worrying over them when theyre in grave danger. thats just,,, a thing most of humans do. and she doesnt even respect him that much, and at usj she literally kicked him at a villain. if his self defence didn’t activate he’d probably get seriously injured or even fucking die. like??  

coming back to bakugou and jirou, i kind of think about them as two different traumatised kids (collective trauma is a thing yall): bakugou is the loud, angry and ugly one, while jirou is the quiet, and cute and talented one. she’s what people want to see. and because shes “good” and people want to see her, they dont acknowledge her flaws.

no one acknowledges jirou actively picking on kaminari (remember when they were thinking of hero names and she had to attract his attention first to then proceed to make fun of him? yeah. that.), or how she laughs the loudest at him, because to those people its funny too. its written as funny. 

and like at this point its pretty toxic, if not borderline bullying ykno

and kaminari doesnt think of her as a friend, either, to be honest. like in the cultural festival shes just ‘that girl jirou’. and remember he drove the whole arc by encouraging others to encourage her to do the concert.

but yeah if it wasnt prominent enough: i agree so much. also someone should take NT’s right to write denki away. they dont deserve him. iida, too.

what i just said is probably incoherent but thats because i forgot to eat so yeah im gonna eat now, but yeah love you nonnie

i think what bugs me the most about people being lazy and not wanting to read or pushing a narrative of something you didn't say or do onto you, then saying something about the method of delivery, and then getting their hackles raised at anything that pushes back (i do this too. like many times i overreact because i didnt read something right, or i don't think that maybe i don't need to be heard, or i take on a more combative tone even if someone agrees. so i need to de-escalate for myself as well and be aware....) esp on the basis of length and some grammar and syntax issues—not necessarily the content itself—is that i like....edit for a living.

i have a dumb BA and i have my MFA. i copy-edit on the side as a side-job and i am good at it. i am a literal video editor, a script editor, a scriptwriter, and artist. so like not only did i "train" in that, i have experience, and like.... im good at it. but that's my WORK like that's LITERALLY MY CAREER so when im on the internet i'm not trying to write a fucking thesis that's so intense and edited. i do that for my career and it's effort. this is me time, leisure time, im not being judged or graded and i don't need to put my whole back into something that is largely inconsequential. i'm typing from the top of the fucking dome and that's it man like there's a diff between a thing that takes me 5m to write and something i have to edit a trillion times on top of my learning disabilities and adhd. which isnt a fucking death sentence. adhd helps me be more creative, my LDs are what lead me to art, i'm intelligent and talented even if i hate myself and it's painful. idk how many times i can say this you know. someone said to me once "you're obviously not a native eng speaker" and fucking obviously i am but that wasnt the issue it was saying i can't construct sentences or whatever when im literally just stream of consciousness and it is just so invalidating. i dont like saying it but it's literally people calling you stupid for something you're not trying to heavily regulate because you ARE ALWAYS SELF-REGULATING.

honestly i get shocked at my typos or ways i word things if i re-read them but in my brain it just comes out that way. it doesnt always make sense either idk i try and say it. but i dont want to call it ableist it's just weird. fucking weird and it feels soooooo fucking bad bc i already know lmao im sorry man sometimes commas look like periods and i think im typing in the right tense or the right word but im not idk what to tell ya. u can edit it for me if u want

yesterday i couldnt focus at all like i was watching history (surprise) and had to keep rewinding because my brain started to trail off and i would stare at this box. or ill be thinking about something else the whole time. then i get anxious and try and concentrate and i cant. it's a lot of adrenaline buddy and our brains are like rubber or whatever ok im built different ;-;

other things adhd makes fun:

- when you receive your THC and it takes you hours to use it because your brain is trailing off. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT FOR UR BRAIN TO STOP PROCRASTINATING TO HAVE FUN? dumbest thing ever esp since ppl w impulse issues <3 drugs cos we r sad every1 thinks we r STUPID

- when u literally just stare at the same page for like 10m. when it takes u all fucking day to watch 5 minutes of a stupid BL bc ur brain is like THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS AND WHAT IS THAT? THEN THIS THEN THIS THEN THIS esp for me as a FILMMAKEURRRR AN ARTISTE A PRETENTIOUS BITCH i cant turn it the fuck off

- WITHOUT INSURANCE MY MEDS ARE 400 DOLLARS SO IF YOU GIVE ME THAT MONEY, I WILL LISTEN TO YOU

this is something i've talked abotu a lot and ppl who know me know that i really struggle with this. maybe that's why i turned to art i dont know but i think there is a gap between people who are willing to read and people who just aren't and then dont bother. but i feel like you should sort of take the time to maybe understand a person may have diff communication styles. like i can understand people or try my best if they dont have a great grasp on english. we know what the fuck communication is. there's this one troll i know of who literally just types nonsense because he doesn't know what he's talking about, he's a dick, and he's not a native eng speaker. that's a time where i'm like i literally cannot with this person because i dont think he even tries lmao. i just ignore him bc he says dumb shit now so maybe if someone thinks that of me they should just move it righgt along ithink im just going to start being a dick and calling eveyrone ableist and start acting like the ~*~*~*snowflake~**~~*~* they dont like bc bitch if im sad we all sad now

i also find it IRONIC when non black ppl comment on a flow or whatever since u all love to use our words wrong bitch back off if u cant say nigga i take 0 writing advice from u

all this is to say i know it's not cos of my adhd and learning disorders since i can do my jobs efficiently. i think that......people are just upset when u critique something that has nothing to do with them as a person but they tied their identity to it so now we all have to suffer im sorry that you...idk don't care about the world? who knows, what do you want? lol

im the first sherlock anon* and i did say it was ableist but saying he's autistic coded and that's why it's wrong is dumb, sorry. and what i said about leaving tumblr is because i dont know what it is about this website but the people here put you in a bubble that leaves you so blind you dont even realize and i feel like i can see that in your posts. like, i see your point, but it's an opinion, not a fact, just an interpretation of a fictional character, and even though im autistic i still think neurotypical people get a say in things like this btw. (the mental illness thing was bc english isnt my first language, and the troll thing bc i cant tell when people are joking sometimes)

wait so ur argument is. im dumb for being autistic n not liking how bbc sherlock treats a character who acts in a lot of ways i do??? if that’s actually ur point i uhhh have a lot less respect for it.

and okay i feel like we're not understanding each other. whether or not sherlock is autistic canonically is up for interpretation, cuz as far as i remember canon never says either way, but he DOES act how some autistic people do and the way he's treated in-narrative for that IS ableism.

also sure neurotypicals can have opinions but as an autistic person i think im allowed to tell someone i don’t want them talking On My Post about their opinion on autistic-specific ableism if they aren’t autistic. they can take that opinion elsewhere, was my point.

anyway ur not gonna convince me of anything im a stubborn bastard n i literally dont know who u are. im gonna watch the blaseball trial now.

also imo we should start thinking abt like ‘canon neurodivergent’ chars differently than we do lgbt chars bc a lot of the time this shit is either unconscious in a Different way or slipped in and ppl genuinely dont think its important enough to say the word for it. so i think the whole ‘cant say this chars xyz unless its word of god’ is useless for it because most likely someone is not going to consciously realize they made a character autistic. just claim them anyway. the whole use of the word ‘canon’ being synonymous with ‘clear representation’ just doesnt rly work in this case bc for ex like. galo is very clearly autistic and (ill say most since i cant speak for everyone) autistic ppl watching the movie will know and relate to him through that. whether or not trigger says ‘oh yeah the character we constantly refer to as stupid for autism traits is autistic haha’ (they wont do that bc that would make them look bad, guys. its still true though. they did do that.) is irrelevant to whether he ‘IS Is’ or not. whether u think hes REP (and GOOD REP) is another matter entirely (tho tbh? if ur relating to a char im considering that literally what rep means even if isnt handled well lmao. u can do that n not give the creators any pats on the back. imo its not that deep)

like yeah i love ppl saying ‘my char was written to have adhd’ as much as the next person but until nt ppl even get a clearer understanding of how ALL neurodivergences work (not just adhd n autism) its not gonna happen. a lot of the time people want creators to Say It so they have something they can fire back at ppl, like someone being ableist so they can say ‘look this ones canon autistic so u should be more careful w ur language!’ BUT i also think. we should remember when ppl say things like ‘someone shouldnt have to tell you theyre autistic so you can stop treating them like shit for autistic traits’ and its similar w ableism (or anything else lol?) in fan spaces. this should not have to be clearly written out in a way that is completely impossible to misinterpret for u to not be a dick. that is my whole post on the matter thank you for coming 

Random game idea that came to mind: clockwork man simulator

I dunno, i just got the general image in my head of a soft homey aesthetic equivelant of that terrible game about the androids. Itd be more like just a life-living game, like stuff like animal crossing or harvest moon. Just fully exploring the perspective of these creatures and the world that created them, rather than BOOM ACTION SETPIECES or whatever

I only have some scattered ideas for it tho, and not really any idea of a main plot or gameplay gimmick or 3 act structure or like.. Anything to take this from idea to game, lol.

SO ITS MISC IDEAS TIME

* more of an olden timey fantasy style instead of sci fi. Youre still an artificial person created to run errands for humans, but youre more of a combination of clockwork and magic. There's still an element of being made of inanimate object parts but there's also some glowy energy core or something. Possibly would be interesting if it was something unusual to use as a power source? Like i dunno, a bell or an acorn or a teacup or one of those rocks with the hole in it that sometimes wash up on beaches. Or just a glowy orb of Generically Defined Energy Substance, which flows through you like aesthetically pleasing glowy veins

* you're a service clockwork homunculus thingy, bought by a disabled person who needs help around the house. PERHAPS A SWEET OLD GRANDMA! Whatever i decide on (IT'LL PROBABLY BE THE GRANDMA), your owner is a kind person who sees you as part of the family and feels guilty using an android as they believe you are absolutely a real person and wish they could set you free. Unfortunately theyre kinda one of the people who needs androids the most, as they dont have any family who can help them. At the same time though, they are very old and quite resigned to nobody caring about them, plus theyre just a good person who'd put your life over their own. So i feel like the plot would literally start with this person trying to set you free and you are just like "i do npt understand the concept, that is not in my programming". Its become kind of a morning routine now to hear "youre free! Get out, dammit!" and have a brisk argument over breakfast that inevitably always ends with you refusing. Grandma's prpbably got so desperate they're resorting to tactics like trying to trick you into getting on the bus out of town or "if you dont leave im gonna hold my breath and i wont stop til i pass out". All inevitabley failing! So they just try and help you understand your sentience and become more independant, encouraging you to take free time every day and go around the town to enjoy yourself. Which is kinda a concept you dont understand yet, so its just like MISSION RECEIVED: WALK IN CIRCLE AROUND PERIMETER OF TOWN. And its kind of a hit and miss experience because the people in this town have never seen an android before- this magic is usually a thing for rich people and this proposed scheme of disability assistance androids is still in its test run. Some people are suspicious or hateful, but there are others who welcome you to the village and brighten up your day. Not just a world of 100% everyone assholes to make a melodramatic point delivered awfully through racist stereotypes.

* i think a good subplot with this disabled grandma would be to show her regaining her independance too. Like she starts off quite fatalistic and used to nobody caring about her, all this mobility aid stuff is new and she feels like its too complicated and she'll never get it, or its too expensive and she doesnt deserve it, or all the nonsense that ableist society drills into people. But with the support of her new friend and access to more tools to help take her life into her own hands, she starts regaining hope again! Like ironically she felt like her previous carers were all the kinds of awful things people expect these androids to be. Robotic, emotionless monsters who dont care about the person's feelings and comfort, and certainly not independance. She suffered from a lot of the same nightmares that androids do too: being forced into a rigid schedule, limited in her options, deprived of basic rights, being told how she's supposed to feel, etc. But to an android that all seems like an inefficient way to do things! My function is healing and human healing efficiency is decreased in this circumstance! I am incapable of ignoring data due to personal bias! Basically imagine MAGIC BAYMAX ok. Anyway this plot would progress with grandma regaining her smile and eventually itd be a super happy day when she's able to get her new wheelchair that she can wheel to the shops on her own without needing someone to push her. Itd be really sweet from the player's perspective to get used to saying goodbye to her every morning and then suddenly you see her wandering around the shops with everyone else and she can become a part of the vibrant town too. Im thinking give her more complex AI than all the other villagers even, like give her a more complicated set of actions and move routes and stuff like SHE IS EVERYWHERE and she is LOVING IT! Life is back where it belongs: in the hands of the person living it! And it also intensifies the message of android slavery not being necessary or moral or good. Like i mean here this lady benefitted from getting an android but literally all she needed was a friend, a healthcare professional who gave a shit, and affordable access to mobility aids. Humans could have done that if they werent lazy assholes! And this android deserves the right to the same uplifting independenceifying experience they helped this grandma have!!

* random idea: all the events you encounter on each daily walk are actually stored in your inventory as items. Memories of experiences, good or bad, become literally experience for you! They each affect stats in different ways because of what you learned from that moment. Maybe bad experiences give you combat abilities and good ones help with your daily life skills and development of personality? And its possible to crack or even shatter a memory, if new experiences end up clashing with it. Usually its just 'oh i learned the more advanced version of this skill through better understanding of why humans do it', but also traumatic memories damaging good ones, and good ones helping ease traumatic ones. And maybe you could solve puzzles and make friendships through using these memory items? Youre faced with a challenge and have to make the connections in your mind to figure out which past experience is relevant here. And becoming more talented at something would help narrow down the choices you get given? And being unskilled would do screwy stuff with the interface like putting the correct option far away near the bottom or mixing up the names and icons of each memory. (Dunno how i'd program that though!)

* Maybe character customization similar to Medabots? The games were so cool and ahead of their time, you get to collect hundreds of different robot base frames and then mix and match the parts to make your own cool aesthetic! Shame it was only used for fighting though, that could be cool in a more social game too! Like go out wearing different fashions to help befriend different people, but its more fun cos its ROBOT FASHIONS! 'hey grandma do u think fred will like this arm or this arm?' She fusses over you all excitedly cos you showing an interest in fashion is a good sign of developing free will! Though you still get stuck in logic loops of 'you should wear what you like best, honey' 'HUMAN OPINION IS OF HIGHER PRIORITY' ...god i think i just made this character so i can ramble Relateable Social Anxiety Moments BUT ROBOTS

* possible ideas for Memory Events you can find around town! Meeting a cute neighbour cat- a fascinating creature you were not programmed to deal with, as you're a hospital android who isnt even meant to leave one single room for your whole life. You get absolutely entranced by the confusing small carpet with legs, and spend all morning interrogating it on why it wishes to rub its face on you. Why is your motor overheating, tiny carpet? Human master, how do you troubleshoot this noise?

* Another idea! You get 'mission: count the steps on the stairs to town' popping out of nowhere, and at first you ignore it because this is an illogical directive that does not come from a human. But it keeps happening every time you go here!! You try finding new ways to get to town crossing through fields or forests or walking directly into the path of a horsedrawn carriage, but ALAS it seems the only efficient path is those curious curious steps! Only then do you finally realise the mystery command is coming from yourself! You're not used to this strange concept of just..wanting to do something, all by yourself. You talk to your human and she says that's 'natural curiosity', 'personality', 'free will'...things that seem impossible to understand. You ask her to take you back to the shop to get this fault fixed, but she says its good and you should try acting on it. But it'll serve no purpose!! BUT AAARGH I HAVE TO KEEP SEEING THOSE STEPS EVERYDAY!! Eventually you do count them and you find it makes you satisfied for no logical reason. And that was the end of that small crisis, but you'll forever be confused by the whole thing! The next week you're like "what if i organized all the blue things with the blue things" and youre intensely frustrated at yourself. Human grandma says this is a "taste for fashion" but you remind her that you do not have a tongue. (And then she gets you the robo parts catalog and you unlock customization. Yay!)

* Possible idea for a sad subplot! A new human visits the village and he seems very strange, sometimes seeming kind and other times being angry and standoffish. You think its a simple 'jerk with a heart of gold' story but the truth is a lot stranger! It turns out this stranger is actually an important bishop in disguise, and he has multiple androids acting as body doubles to protect him while he's on the road. Theyre supposed to just be empty husks who only know how to imitate, but they clearly have their own personalities! You're tasked with finding all these runaway androids and returning them to their master for a reward, leading to a goofy lil game of hide and seek with twelve of the same guy. But it starts to get a bit sad because they're all convinced theyre the real one, and whenever they stumble into holes in their memory they freak out. When they all see each other gathered together its an absolute despair explosion and theyre forced to face the truth. And you can help them bond together as brothers and develop their own individual identities, even helping them pick out their own new faces from your set of fashion roboparts. Sadly you cant keep them here for long because itd obviously be suspicious to have exactly twelve new people move into the town right when twelve bots went missing. So you get help from one of grandma's friends to send them off in a stagecoach to another town where they can find employment and start their own life disguised as humans. The asshole bishop obviously doesnt react well to his androids vanishing into the night, but he never thinks of blaming you because after all you're only an android and you could never choose to help others out of all that free will you dont have. He just berates you for being so incompetant as to fail his quest to find them, and you get your reward taken back. Oh no~ i am~ very ashamed~ i will go tell my human that my ocular circuits require recalibrating~ (internally: HAHA YEH FUCK U OLD MAN) Grandma is super proud of you!

And thats all i got so far

I dont how to explain this in simple terms to make it less confusing.

First let me explain, the RP community in instagram works different then discord and stuff. We are one giant community of everyone doing their own things and being apart of different RPG but we all still interact and plot together.

I’m apart of an RPG on Instagram, we are very inclusive but we have a rule that if someone in our group expresses being uncomfortable with someone joining then we dont allow them in. Recently there was this guy named R who was just a floater in the community and talked to a lot of different people but had this admiration for my RPG (made edits for us of our characters, talked to almost everyone). Now he is very very friendly, and spams people when they dont respond and sorta of tries to force friendships…not a lot of people like that.

there was one person in our team who isnt very comfortable because R doesn’t respect the pronouns (this person is she/her out of character but ONLY A FEW PEOPLE can use those pronouns and everyone else has to use He/Him) which is valid. So one of my friends went to talk to R and he didn’t know anything about pronouns so we sat him down and explained it and he got it. The people on my team presume he has some kinda of disability because R isnt very keen on social cues or well in tune with the changing of society…and that is okay.

but recently he expressed joining in our RPG and it raised hell. People said they dont want R because he is “overly friendly” or “cant understand RP from reality” “spams to much” and at this point everyone has stated that they want him in the RPG and that we are twenty year old adults who dont need to interact with him and we dont need to talk to him. But no we are acting like a secret society.

I guess my question to you is, would not inviting him in be counted as discrimination? Ablest? Or just straight wrong because he isnt on the same brain wave as we are?

🤺

That’s not ableist that’s just not how making friendships work.. To me. R sounds like a lonely child who doesn’t quite know how to make friends yet. I really don’t find it to be ableist. I don’t think ANYONE would be comfortable being friends with someone who forced their way.