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sukugo · 10 days

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sukuna and gojo use binding vows for sex, taking things like orgasm denials or touch deprivation steps further, where the other is contractually bound to not be able to do certain things, like touch themselves or touch the other etc etc

one such instance being a vow where gojo has a vibrator up his ass, but he can't touch himself or remove it, until sukuna specifically, pulls it out.

he keeps the vibe in throughout the day, with sukuna controlling it remotely, even as they both go throughout their separate days.

gojo goes to have his usual breakfast, and meets yuuji at the dining room, they greet and sit next to each other. yuuji is, as always, energetic and excited to see him

they make conversation, until gojo gives a jolt and starts twitching and huffing. sukuna has turned the vibrator up all the way. yuuji worries and panics and asks him what's wrong. gojo gives a breathy laugh and reassures him. he motions low and tells yuuji about the vibrator inside him, through sudden jolts and soft whimpers.

satoru complains about it, and yuuji advices to remove it or go and take care of himself.

except gojo states that he can’t and yuuji puzzles.

"it's... a pact—mmh!"

"a pact???" yuuji's voice rises in volume, but he visibly calms, shoulders dropping into a fond sigh. "sensei, you really are..." that's all he can manage to say. reprimand is useless. gojo likes it, yuuji is well aware, he is enjoying every second of this, even as he complains.

gojo gives a few odd jolts, undoubtedly an odd pattern of intensity from the vibe, yuuji can guess. sudden irregular ups and downs that are not taken well by the man.

satoru clicks his tongue. "what is that guy doing?" he actually looks irritated for a moment—a look yuuji doesn’t get to see often—until it’s broken with a sigh and his pleased, calm demeanor returns, mimicking the soft waves of pleasure across his thighs.

still, yuuji can see his hands crumpled at his sides, undoubtedly wishing to use them.

that's when satoru perks flares up all of a sudden.

"actually, yuuji,” he turns to look at him, grinning. “you can help me" he opens his legs and lifts the edges of his kimono, his dick peeking out the fabric. yuuji gulps at the sight. satoru motions to it, giving yuuji a wordless look. yuuji hesitates for a moment, but complies, taking his hand to the cock, and starts stroking.

satoru crumbles under the touch, immediately breathing out his nose and muffling moans. he leans into yuuji, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, fingers clasped in yuuji's kimono, nuzzling into his hair and whining in his ear.

satoru's sounds fluctuate in pitch and volume, making it known when his vibe's gotten stronger. yuuji keeps his pace and satoru spills in his hand. he twitches and sighs, soft breaths against yuuji's flushed ear.

yuuji stares at the cum in his hand.

"you can wipe it on me,” satoru tells him with a breath that's calmed much too fast. “my clothes are already soiled anyways". and yuuji feels bad for it, but he obeys nonetheless.

satoru takes a hand to yuuji's chin and turns his face to him and gives him a kiss. short and sweet.

"as a reward." he smiles at yuuji. the boy surprises but takes it happily, cheeks warm and eyes softened, albeit a bit timidly. a tinge of disappointment colors the edges of his face.

"you want more?" satoru brings his face to yuuji's again. the vibrations have reached a slight plateau, so his voice is steadier.

yuuji’s face widens a bit, but he nervously chuckles, pulling back from gojo's face. "no, it's alright," he lies. "i don't want sukuna to kill me"

but satoru’s already pulling into him, breathing into his lips. "i won't let him <3"

"that's...actually reassuring......" yuuji’s eyes flutter shut as satoru's lips meet his again.

and with that, they're kissing and slowly the vibrations and gojo’s twitching start again. satoru moves atop yuuji's lap to straddle him, and while they kiss, yuuji takes his hand between them and jerks him off again. satoru moans and gasps into his mouth, each jolt mirroring the pulses against his prostate.

they separate for gojo to bury his face in yuuji's shoulders, arms hugging his neck. he humps into yuuji's hand until he comes against him again.

he pants and huffs atop the boy, catching his breath. yuuji's gentle arms hold him, fingers rubbing slow circles at his back.

satoru's breathing calms against yuuji’s neck.

"yuuji, u're such a good boy."

yuuji's heart and dick swell.

#f.txt #scenario that has been plaguing my brain and i needed to share #just when they're done nobara and megumi come into the dining room #nobara twists her face. 'geh. itadori. taking advantage of a married man'#yuuji squints his eyes at her 'like u're one to talk'#nobara: still. at the breakfast table. could u be any more shameless #she says that but still makes her away to sit across them megumi following suit #megumi: go easy on him. it’s probably gojo-sensei’s doing anyways #gojo: oh megumi~ u know me so well #jjk #sukugo #yuugo #悠五 #sukugoyuu #ns4w #the moment of random ups and downs is sukuna drawing out “satoru” in the vibrrator app bc he wants his gojo :c #meanwhile gojo's all irritated like 'what is wrong with him 😑' bby boy ur husband MISSES U #for context this is in my post-canon everyone lives au (well. one of them) where everything is good and happy and sukugo get married and #sukuna gets domesticated (?)#well more like. he's still bad and evil. but he's tamed i guess #he (begrudgingly) coexists with everyone else and behaves lmao #also everyone kinda lives together? it's a bit of a weird situation idk #anyways #this kinda made me want to write again. i havent written in so long #tho i suppose this does count as writing #i also have more stuff to add to this ill do some rbs !!

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sciderman · 10 days

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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

#sci speaks #i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified #but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.

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demonbarbers · 4 months

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the 2023 revival obc kinda ruined me. you give me sopping wet kendall roy girldad little meow meow sweeney todd, you give me deliriously horny achingly human physical comedy queen lovett, you give me aging child star mischievous but heartbreakingly sweet toby, you give me a johanna who is finally not just a princess track or ~crazy~ and who’s trauma is deeply physically felt and is so deeply her father’s daughter, you give mee a sweeney and jo who are finally acknowledged as mirrors of each other and you give me literal hand in unloveable hand… and i’m just supposed to move on

#they’re not all my favorite ideal dramaturgical interpretations of the character imelda lovett remains my number 1 #and i do prefer my sweeney’s to have a level of physical menace josh just can’t achieve for me bc i want to fuck him into the next year #but still. they’re all so perfect together. gaten and maria are maybe my fave toby and jo #.txt #2023 revival #i’m soooo high rn btw #jan 14 SUICIDE loading #jk i’m looking forward to little gay boy toby and especially paul jordan jansen’s sweeney #and i wanna catch nick chris sweeney and jeanna lovett again too #but still. SUICIDE.

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edwardwonghaupepelutivrusky4th · 10 months

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technically if it's not simmered in the champagne region of france it's a sparkling best boy friend

#you see actually this is an ingeniously relevant caption b/c of the concept of Authentic food tying into the film's main themes re culture #Clearly impeccable lol....anyway here's me using this blog as like a tumblr hosted imgur #also just now in the shower it occurred to me the parallels / overlaps with My Big Fat Greek Wedding. obviously also v different but #so your family & by extension their culture aren't the Normal & your father especially holds on to this distinction #& you don't just want to work at the family business forever & then you meet a nice boy & there's no problem there he's just nice #except then how to reconcile this with your relationship w/your family & your culture & thus also your identity btw....#anyways how about that uhh #elemental #elemental 2023 #pixar elemental #ember lumen #wade ripple #fanart #always a time & a half trying to decide how to tag these kinds of titles. but somehow i survive #it's really a testament to the so precisely captured Cuteness of wade's design that it's like; trying to just do a shadow of it justice lol #it's So good. definitely went for the like expressive wobbliness...the wavy smile is just thee perfect detail all thee time. ugh #giving both of them that Flow while also ember is pointier & has the whole luminosity element....the chefs are kissing #love the Relationship when it's like yeah it's easy to make it agonizing when it's like ya both people have fun & like each other & enjoy #being together & find the relationship enriching & motivating...you Are a cute couple / again that the conflict isn't really even like ooh #will the won't they as a question of if they really like each other; & Definitely not a question of [these ppl hate each other actually] lo #like me saying i like romcoms sometimes when it Does mostly mean i'll watch mybigfatgreekwedding 500x in a row. it's on youtube btw #then you watch some random other romcom & it's psychological torture. random xmas romcomdram like gave me a headache fr....#anyways really liked this film really had a great time i'm def gonna see it again soon #i loved both these characters & their relationship & the Elemental manifestation of Culture is really inchtaraesting #plus other metaphorical resonance ppl find...physical disability; queer experiences....#it was also fun b/c their interacting & their arcs w/each other having that mutual Effect & Change from their dynamic was like #that also just feels like both of them / their relationship = my relationship with myself &/or both how i interact w/the world/anyone #definitely always describing myself in ways like ''i never x except for when i do always; readily'' like Crying for sure lol. I'm Both....#probably a bit more wade? within Myself; by this point lol. i feel like maybe i'm the wade w/someone i'm more comfortable around #but that otherwise i probably come across more emberesque. usually. except for when it's the opposite except for when it's not lmao etc!!!!

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majimassqueaktoy · 11 months

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Saejima and his prison crew still meeting up sometimes to have dinner and beers and maybe a tabletop role play is a head canon that I simply think is very cute.

#rggo sending him back bc he wanted to properly thank okudera and check in on him was the best thing ever to me #bc i already had thr idea in my head that of all the lads he is actually the one most likely to keep relationships up to some degree #which is sweet when you think about him not seeing anyone for 25 years and then think about what happened with Yasuko #So I was like yeah he and Kido def get beers once in a while and catch up #once all the boys are out im certain same shit for them too #its just a nice idea to me #also him and himura are still just funny to me #he could have been so much more reluctant about their weird sapporo roleplay visit thing #but he just went along with it 😂#oshima and baba just sitting there like 😐😐 this shit again #it would make no sense to send majima back to hokkaido when he was arrested at the start of 6 #but i hope they did and he an the old boys at least got to chill together ☠️#saejima not majima eo yai yai so many jimas so little time #thank fuck daigo gets called daigo and not dojima id be fuckin him up too

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wexpyke · 1 year

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no but what was that finale… i miss longer shows so much… give us 22 episodes per season again!!! give us more time for character growth and relationship development and bring back fun filler episodes!!!! because what was this finale 😭

#the sex lives of college girls #joely watches things #.txt #since this is getting some notes (this is a lot of engagement on a post for me as i’m newly returned to tumblr and have 20 followers lmao)#i don’t dislike any of the storylines necessarily but GOD they rushed through them #i swear tatum and leighton were together for 1.5 episodes max before they broke up #and the alicia plot line felt so rushed too - with leighton saying ‘these are my friends’ after not seeing them for MONTHS?#kimberly and jackson barely got time to get past their one argument and then she’s suddenly crushing on canaan #who also wants her??? which came out of nowhere for me #and whitney and the white boy (forgot his name sry) were cute but that also went so fast lol #i wanted her and canaan back together tbqh but like it’s fine that they didn’t #but why did they have to make it a love triangle?! so unnecessary #AND BELA?!?! has been selfish and awful all season #i loved her with eric - i was rooting for them sm #then she suddenly realises how awful she’s been and immediately decides she has to fix it - instant growth ?!#anyway she needs therapy - not to change schools #just… a mess #please give us longer shows again @ tv networks #slocg spoilers

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will-o-wips · 5 months

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It is 4 am. I'm staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, coincidentally having my phone right in my line of sight, and write this with the exasperation and intense focus that I probably won't ever have again. I'm about to attempt to make any sort of sense of the latest Hayao Miyazaki movie, The Boy and the Heron (or rather, How do you live? in Japanese), that I watched for the first time in theatres a day ago.

I cannot claim to be right, or to know everything about this movie. Actually acclaimed critics and people with obviously more braincells than me have probably better takes than I do. But I must speak, lest the insanity truly take over my brain, lest I really end up combusting because of how much I want to talk about this.

Prepare yourselves for the most incoherent train of thought and line of consciousness you will ever experience.

FILLED WITH SPOILERS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE.

Before I start with my actual thoughts, however, I'll state my personal feelings about the movie, because I feel that matters too, and this is my post anyway so! But I personally left the cinema feeling somewhat mellow. I was not insane about it yet. It was,,, "meh". The impression of the ride was great; I was giggling along with the funny and even sometimes not purposefully funny moments, I enjoyed the animation to the point I would genuinely flap my hands in excitement at how good it was, I understood the story in great lines by noticing small details and going "oh so does this mean x?". But I did not cry. Not a single tear during or after or before the movie. I did not waver with my opinion on it as I rambled about it to my friends online and irl, much to their annoyance. I did not hesitate when I put it in my silly little Studio Ghibli movie tierlist maker that I update whenever I watch another one of these films together with my friends, categorized (in)discreetly under "all vibes no plot but there's a witch/wizard". I still don't, in fact.

So, given all of this, you'd probably say that I disliked the movie. That I would not have so much to say about it, after doing my mandatory ramble and update. Wrong. I still have more to say, somehow.

Despite that, I didn't rewatch the movie itself. I read an entirety of one (1) review of it, together with one (1) random video essay of 8 or so minutes, covering the basics of it. I reblogged one (1) post about its protagonist on tumblr and otherwise kinda read through the rest of the posts on here. I did not re-experience or re-examine this movie again. I cannot (again) accurately reference anything besides that what I vaguely remember from watching it a day or two ago. It's not playing anywhere near me anymore/not out anywhere else yet, so really, I don't even know what possessed me to write about this, or even say anything. The most fascinating thing (to probably all of us here) is; what made me change my mind about it?

It might've been the review on IndieWire. David Ehrlich and his well-written review, bringing things into much needed context as to why this movie was created. It could've been the fact that I've actively processed the movie better, now a little bit of time has passed. [Honestly it deserves a second watch/view for something more concrete, but I'm repeating myself with this, you get it.]

But I don't even really understand it myself. I felt and still feel so detached from this movie in a sense. I appreciate the artistry that went into it, and I adore the way it simply tells the story and leaves it up to interpretation. It references every single film Hayao Miyazaki has ever made before, and elements of other Ghibli films can probably be found in there too, if you looked hard enough. The vibes were similar to those of Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle, given how inexplicably fantastical the world was. It just existed and breathed, and we as the audience jumped straight into it. We never got more exposition than what was needed; honestly I have a feeling that the second half of the movie was the vaguest piece of media I have ever consumed in my life. But it also had this perfect balance of the more drama-focused Ghibli films. The Boy and the Heron, in my opinion, is like the golden middle between reality and fantasy, both in terms of its narrative as well as comparison between other Ghibli movies.

This might also be the reason why I felt confused. The lines between reality and fantasy were so effortlessly blurred, that you could only process a singular picture. And when things are vague to me, I constantly need to pick them apart and analyse them, simply to satisfy my own curiosity.

The moment before I stepped into the movie theatre, my friend who watched along with me told me they heard it was a film about grief. I nodded along and said "yeah, okay, that just means it's another one of many Hayao Miyazaki and Ghibli films. Most of them are about some kind of loss, and dealing with it, either way." I sat down together with them; row 9, chairs 17 and 18, with my two bottles of water (one carbonated, one stilled) and the bag of terribly sour packaged chocolate pretzels I bought at the theatre itself. Horribly overpriced for the quality, I must say. My friend held onto the popcorn, and we sat through the ads, talking and laughing, anticipating something that was supposed to blow us away.

I cannot speak for my friend, but I think they really liked the movie regardless. They didn't cry at it either, even though we both know of each other that we always cry at such things. Somehow this movie evoked a certain stillness in us both; a stalemate between emotions and confusion. Maybe delayed processing. Maybe something else entirely. We both, or at least I, hid it until later.

It was midnight, and right before we stepped on our train home, I was excitedly going on about the references and animation, the things I did appreciate. I bragged a bit about how I recognized Kenshi Yonezu's voice in the final credit song that we didn't get to listen to entirely, because it was so late and we had to rush to get home. They laughed at me and told me to take some time to actively formulate any coherent thoughts on it. I disagreed (lovingly and jokingly of course), and we left it at that.

In the train itself, the same high dimmed into a simmer, the excitement replaced with contemplation, and I kept talking.

I told them: "I believe that this truly is his last film. This felt like a goodbye." And in return, they replied: "It's crazy how this is the last time we'll ever get to live in such a moment. The release of the final Ghibli movie in theatres.

"I'm glad we got to go."

I was too.

I got home, rambled about the intrinsic way The Boy and the Heron referenced other Ghibli movies to my online friends who had yet to see it. Followed by a heated tangent about how When Marnie Was There truly could have had better direction in regards to the narrative, as well as how Only Yesterday was the most boring out of all Ghibli movies. It was a nice night. I didn't think about the movie again.

The following morning, I contacted other friends, who told me about how Robert Pattison voiced the Heron in the English dub, which I hadn't seen or heard at all. He did a great job, judging by the trailer. This led me to another opinion, namely the video essay (I will try to find it and put it in the notes later if you are curious), which claimed something similar to this (of course, paraphrased):

"This is a farewell. The one true movie to tie such an expansive career. It is another movie where you are allowed to explore the magical together with the main character, while sticking close to the processing of it all."

The review I read said it was a swan-song, that it was the question and title of the movie in Japanese, posed at us, after The Wind Rises left it open to interpretation at the end of its run. That this was a story about the legacy that Miyazaki is leaving behind, how reality and fantasy coexist together, possibly influencing each other (not explicitly said but what I interpreted that review saying, so no this is also not completely like this).

Other tumblr posts I've seen on here say it was a film most likely dedicated to his son, Goro Miyazaki. That it was a gentle "I'm sorry, the shadow I leave behind is huge. I know that you will try and fail to fill it. It's okay; you don't have to. You can leave it behind. It's alright if this legacy dies with me."

Some other sources I've seen compare the main protagonist to Miyazaki himself, trying to grapple with the ending.

Yet somehow, all of these interpretations seem to fail to explain the entirety of this movie. The bigger picture if you will. These themes and moments and interpretations are not wrong, but to me, they're not satisfying enough.

Because maybe I am the only one who actually was insane about this moment, but I will never forget the delivery room scene between Mahito and Natsuko. How Himi addresses the magic stone, pleading to let the two go, saying "Natsuko and the boy who is to be her son". (Again, paraphrased, I cannot remember the exact line.) Maybe I am the only one who witnessed the whimsical fire witch and the going back in time plots and the fact that a younger Kiriko and Himi were there, already part of an ecosystem. How we already know from the other grannies in the house that Mahito's mother disappeared once for a whole year into the tower, and then came back the same as before. How the pelicans were BROUGHT there, that they did not belong there, and yet were forgetting how to fly. How they ate the Warawara, these creatures that were rising above to be born in the upper world. How the Heron's weakness was his 7th tail feather (or something along those lines), and how the fish and the frogs chanted for Mahito to join them in the tower. That the great-great-uncle was hoping for Mahito to succeed him and build a new tower, yet the king of the parakeets butted in and haphazardly did the job, resulting in it immediately toppling over, as well as the stones getting cut.

I think about the final scene where the Heron says "It's best to forget. Do you have any keepsakes?" And Mahito shows not only older Kiriko's figure, but also a piece of the stone paths they walked upon in order to get to the centre, the beating heart, the magic stone and his great-great-uncle.

How this is taking place during a war, that the timeline goes from his mothers death that Mahito cannot get over, to the welcoming of his stepmother and his new younger sibling. Them moving back to Tokyo. The way the tower completely collapsed. Completely and utterly collapsed and perished; not even a trace of it left behind. The way that older Kiriko keeps yelling it is a trap to Mahito in the beginning, but that both he and the Heron know. That it is inevitable to tread this specific path. That he must see for himself, whether his mother is truly alive. The way she both was and wasn't; first a mirage of her older self disappearing into a puddle of water, and second a firey spirit of her younger self coming to help Mahito. The way that he reads and cries at the book she left him, the way he hits himself with a rock after his big fight with his classmates; the way Mahito in general drowns consistently in the beginning of the film. He drowns in the fire that he lost his mother in. He drowns in the mud and the dust when he tries to enter the tower at first. He drowns in his dreams, in his tears, drowns right into his quest to find Natsuko (straight through the floor, by behest of his great-great-uncle), drowns in pelicans trying to eat him, nearly drowns in the actual sea until younger Kiriko fishes him out.

Now these things may seem like me just randomly naming shit that happens in the movie. Hopefully in a slightly poetic way, possibly. I could go on and on about the imagery, truly. But my point is, this movie may have been Miyazaki's last movie, his way of closure, his way of speaking to his son about his legacy, his way of describing the grief of losing his mother (idk if this is autobiographical or not. It very well may have been), yet...

Even so, it doesn't really fit the entire picture. It feels incomplete. The analyses always focus on the true meaning behind this movie, what happens behind the scenes, this one key climactic moment between Mahito and his great-great-uncle. But that's as if you would ignore the rest of the movie in general. As if the fantastical aspects weren't there to abstractly tell a story besides just being a symbol of closure for the person that directed it.

Personally, this is a tale of rebirth. Of losing yourself, and then rediscovering yourself in a way. I associate it with my own personal loss of my grandfather; the family member I felt closest to out of everyone.

The way you look back at such a traumatic stage in your life, something that irrevocably changed you for good, something that you probably don't ever want to relive again, but also mustn't forget. The way you instinctively are afraid to learn about who the person you love and grieve was, before you were in their life.

To this day, I still cannot speak to my mother about whether my grandfather had a favourite song before me forcing him to sing along with my favourites. A favourite book before he read out bedtime stories to me tirelessly. Who the boy in him was, and what wisdom and life lessons he carried on, into his grave, into the hearts of his children.

This movie depicts so much more than just grief, it's so much more than just legacy, even. It directly reflects the way I know I would have felt had I dared to actually see things for myself. If I actually dared to go through my grandfather's old things; the books he wrote and dedicated to me, the books he read when he was young. This movie depicts not how to live, but how to live on.

And the only way to live on is to move forward. To look at the foundations upon which it was built, to evaluate whether you truly want to have this be your burden to carry for the rest of your life. Mahito's abstract grief in regards to his mother, and the solace he finds in the fact that he at least knew who she was; that he at least had her in his life as both his mother and the girl that his stepmother knew, that at the very least he knows his mother would do it all over again, if she could. That despite everything, she did not regret a thing, and that she was not afraid. That somewhere, in the past, she lives on, happily marching toward this fate, because she knows that Mahito will be there to meet her again in the future.

And Natsuko, god, she worries relentlessly about whether Mahito will accept her. She worries to the point she yells at him, telling him that she hates him and his existence, because he rejects her so coldly and yet still bothers to show up in front of her during her most vulnerable moments. That he only takes and takes and takes; he steals her cigarettes in order to learn how to sharpen a knife from one of the servants. He uses those techniques to create a bow and arrow, a weapon. He gets into fights at school, he gets gravely injured on the side of his head, leaving a lasting scar.

If I were in her shoes, I would be furious at him too. Especially if he walked straight into the delivery room, trying to drag me out of bed while I was doing my damn best to keep the other child in my belly alive.

That scene, that sheer rage, and the way it ALL FUCKING SUBSIDES the MOMENT Mahito accepts her and calls her mother. The moment Mahito understands that through the literal whirlwind of plasters, things used to tend to wounds, none of those pleasantries/guards will truly allow him to reach her. The way he tries to nurse his own wounds, as well as try to nurse hers, over the loss of their shared connection (Natsuko's older sister, Mahito's biological mother), will NEVER allow him to make a connection with her. By being careful, by being polite, he will never get to be her son.

And he realizes, in that moment, that he wants to.

The magic stone tries to stop this. The magic stone dislikes disruption; dislikes things changing, dislikes breaking traditions (the taboo of entering the delivery room). The parakeets in the tower flourish because they follow the magic stone's whims more or less. They agree to follow its rules, even if it means they are prone to its abuse, because it gives them an advantage, a place to stay. The pelicans have to eat the Warawara, because there is no other food available to them.

The way younger Kiriko says "you reek of death", and how they establish this place is mostly made up of death and dead people. Dead people, or dying people, creatures that are begging to survive another day. Creatures that are begging to be reborn. That want to change, that wish to fly once more.

My mother once gave me a poem dearest to her heart. We have always been a family filled with literature and stories, but my mother was always the best at both writing them and reciting them. She used to read them out to me, back when I was in a particularly bad spot mentally, to the point I could not get out of bed for weeks on end, to try and reach me. She read with the sincerest passion in her voice, a small plea to get me back to the girl I was before.

I cannot explain or remember the poem by heart, but once I was at my true rock bottom, she told me to look it up. A Serbian poem, written by Miroslav Antić (I will add the name of it later), that was about growing up and growing into your own person. It made me weep, for it had a phrase I think I can only translate to this:

"Run and don't look back."

Somehow, whenever I look at all of these birds and creatures in this fantasy world, trying to fly desperately, trying to get to the skies, trying to get to even live, and think about the fact that the only way they can is by leaving this place. That the only way they can fly and survive as themselves is by leaving this tower, this stone, this foundation. By leaving and being born, by leaving and being reborn.

And, after all of this. Somehow I'm not even done yet. I haven't talked about the great-great-uncle in depth, nor the king of the parakeets, nor the heron whatsoever. I have not yet even touched upon what I might think the magic stone is, and the sheer amount of like symbolism I picked apart in my brain because of my insanity.

I'm probably not the only one who noticed these things. But so far I haven't seen anyone actively share these things, so, I will do my best to continue and genuinely wrap it up as best as I can. So that this can also bring the same amount of closure as the movie does.

The magic stone is like a shooting star that came onto the earth. It realizes dreams and worlds of whoever dares to walk into it and claim to own it; like how Mahito's great-great-uncle got obsessed and built a tower around it, caging it, taming it. And yet he still had to play to its whims, consistently making sure his own tower of blocks did not fall, that all of his work did not amount to nothing. Personally, I do believe the great-great-uncle could represent Miyazaki himself. That Miyazaki is trying to express how he built Ghibli and that now it has been going on for so long, and it has become unmanageable to continue upholding it. That it is time to retire.

A thing I find interesting and remember pretty well is the conversation between the parakeet king and the great-great-uncle. How they talked about Mahito's transgression, breaking into the delivery room (side note: he broke in and broke through to Natsuko with his mother's spirit. Mahito became Natsuko's son with the blessing of his mother; with the sheer love she had for him being carried on and through), and how the great-great-uncle says something akin to this:

"It is why I wish for him [Mahito] to succeed me."

"I cannot overlook such a transgression."

I feel this is important. It is key to how the great-great-uncle views Mahito in this. Because Mahito was not sent out on this quest to find Natsuko out of pure selfishness. Sure, his uncle would have wanted him to succeed him, but the entire reason WHY he believed in Mahito to begin with, is the fact that this boy was able to break the foundation and the traditions in the first place. Mahito inherently disobeys from the chosen path. Mahito inherently does not believe the Heron when he says that all herons lie. Mahito doesn't waver when the heron flies straight at him, he doesn't sway when the frogs or the pelicans overwhelm him. Mahito stands firm in who he is, even if he is trying to deal with new circumstances. Mahito inherently goes to places he should not be in (his curiosity for the tower). Mahito has enough power on his own to create a new tower, but only by rebuilding it from scratch.

This ready acceptance that the great-great-uncle has towards Mahito's decision NOT to inherit his legacy, is what makes me believe this is what this movie is supposed to represent. Break away from the old, off into the new. Closure. Moving on.

This is also reflected in the sentiment that Mahito truly DOES move on. He goes back to his family, his father, school, he goes back with Natsuko as his mother and a new younger sibling to Tokyo. He returns there where he came from, but he is not the same anymore. He is reborn into a new Mahito.

And god I feel like I'm repeating myself to death here; I really should have thought about the structure of this, but give me some slack okay. It's like 6:30 am already and I'm still not done, despite continuously writing and labouring at this.

So, the tower that immediately falls apart by someone who always follows the whims of a dream (the parakeet king and the stone respectively). God it is just such a momentTM. Because in the end even this shows that the parakeets, too, even though they by far had it the best in that goddamn tower, had to leave. For they could not build something on their own without learning who they were outside of the already established. Outside of just following the rules and all.

They had to leave, my GODDDDD.

As I'm getting progressively more unhinged, we shall move onto the most unhinged character in this entire fucking movie. The Heron himself. God there's too much to unpack here, really, but the truth is, the Heron was supposed to be the guide to Mahito. The Heron was supposed to be Mahito's biggest, most aggressive enemy, the direct antagonist to Mahito's protagonist. The Heron doesn't want change. The Heron tries to bribe Mahito with the fact that his mother is still alive, that he need only enter the tower, and lose himself to illusions and dreams. That fantasizing about his mother being alive won't only drown him more, that it won't just let Mahito sink into the deepest pits of his despair and anguish about such a death, that losing yourself to the belief that something is there when it is not wouldn't only be counterproductive. The Heron masks himself consistently; he says that all herons lie. He says that he only has one weakness, his own feather, that allows the arrow to automatically target him. In essence, the Heron shot himself in the foot beak. He himself slipped up in his mirage world, and came out to be who he truly was, this weird little man with a huge nose and a conniving demeanour. He adamantly cannot disobey the dream, for then his true nature comes peaking out (a small detail I absolutely love is the fact that the Heron's feathers also disappear out of Mahito's hands when Mahito is called back to reality by the grannies. The grannies protect him in the dream world too, by being his tether and support system while he gets over himself and starts trusting Natsuko). The Heron doesn't WANT to be a guide, for in order to be a guide, you must tell the truth. You'd need to know some facts about the world around you and share this information with the ones seeking guidance. This is how I believe Mahito understood the Heron before we did.

It's not that all herons lie; it's just that this particular one does not want to face the truth/reality.

Another interesting detail: the whole reason why only Mahito was able to cover up the hole in the Heron's beak was reminiscent about how only those that called you out can really patch up your old image. Only those that have poked holes in your false narrative are able to fill them back up again, and even then it is not the same, and even then it will not always be comfortable/reliable.

Either way, the Heron, after this wings partially turn into hands, his true nature, is unable to fly all that well for a while. He relies on Mahito's corkscrew thing in order to relish in his comfort zone of lies again. But throughout the movie, the Heron slowly starts to ignore the corkscrew completely; simply opting to stay in his (frankly, freakish) half gremlin man half heron costume form. The Heron changes because Mahito inspired him to change. Even though his image used to be spotless before, and he tried to deceive Mahito, after a while, he stopped doing that. The mutual trust both Mahito and the Heron had grew. The Heron became a person, although his heron-ness would never go away.

The Heron thus warns Mahito that he should want to forget. That he will forget, either way. That this struggle of his to grapple with the reality of his situation, and the fantasy that he was delving into, will become a far-off memory that Mahito should not revisit. The Heron, I believe, is genuinely trying to look out for Mahito.

"Don't dwell in what you have already overcome. Don't revisit the things you have already outgrown."

And this is where the movie more or less ends. Mahito still keeps that stone, and his mother's book, and he goes back to Tokyo; the only crucial difference is that he has overcome his own grief.

Now, I've said this like a billion times now, but this is the rebirth. This is what I think this movie stands for. What it means, at its core. This is what it means to live; to move on and to cut ties with that what has no place in your life anymore. Miyazaki, I think, is trying to give us closure, a final farewell to Ghibli altogether.

Now I don't know about any speculation that he might come back again, and personally, I don't think it really matters. If he does come back, good for him. I just don't know enough to say anything for sure, so I'll just say I cannot say.

Either way, I think, even though Miyazaki conveyed the need for a new start/a rebirth, he didn't really end on the complete abolishment of all that used to be. You are allowed to keep mementos of it; even though the Heron advises not to. Mahito is allowed to reflect upon this experience, to see it as another stone in his foundation/formation, to say that, yes, the spirit of this change will always stay with me, although it has passed.

Just like how Mahito's mom was someone who returned to the past without regrets. She never came back. She was a spirit that pushed Mahito forward, and he will always remember her, but it's better that she stay a memory than become a fantasy.

This is why I'm so impressed by this movie in general. I'm so thankful that I was able to witness this with a friend of mine. I'm glad that I was able to see this, even though my insanity knows no bounds, and the fact that I didn't even think about any of this until I really sat down to look through the options of interpretations.

I'm so glad I got to go. Now it's time to run towards the future, and never look back.

#the boy and the heron #genuinely what was I on actually #I can't believe I am writing this/have written this #Disclaimer: I am really just saying shit please do not take this as the end all be all or whatever; I just need to say it just in case.#oh btw this is DEFINITELY not meant to critique or dismiss any of the people that have other opinions than I do #I just needed to put my own interpretation out there #together with my few flourishes of storytelling here and there even though I'm not even sure if it makes any sense whatsoever #the boy and the heron spoilers #spoilers #I think like. there is so much more to be said about this. there is so much more that can be touched upon #without the repetitive stuff of unstructured “just wing it” (ha ha get it. because there's so many birds and flying metaphors in this.)#essays and shit like this #like I haven't even touched upon Mahito's father and the entire airplane thing that could just be a reference but also-#it could be a metaphor in how his father is trying to overcompensate and how he just wants Mahito to fly again so he creates and works so-#hard that he eventually just ends up being absent in Mahito's life.#which is sickening. (positive/bittersweet)#anyway I am still just saying shit. enjoy the??? idk essay upon essay upon essay of late night insanity.

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b4kuch1n · 1 year

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I put the october pieces on my redbubble as prints because I think they’re preddy good. happy august are you gonna eat that

#bakuspecial #pokemon #swsh #hi. I am painting my bag #and the sealant turns out to be poison #so its taking! a minute! I'm trying to put as much down in one layer as possible before sealant #because boy oh boy. that sealant is bad. and I also only have one can of it #so yeah. the bg for the thing I wanna do is done I think. I just gotta finish up the (waves hand) the other stuff. yknow the main thing #so! thats my sunday plan. and then hopefully I can finish that up in one go and then seal it in for the last time #and I will not have to breath whatever that is in again. Im suited up btw. I dont have a filtration mask but Im triple med masked up #whenever I use it. and I also wear a long sleeved hoodie jacket #messing around with acrylic and gouache is so fun if not for the consequences #well. thats enough of that. hey if u want a print of these pieces get urself a halloween treat.#my halloween treat this year is hopefully I can hang out with my friends and play funny horror games. itll be so fun #or we all play scrabbles together again and I get my ass handed to me #I know english words sometimes but I am SO bad at counting. I am GARBAGE at understanding the rules of scrabbles.#its so fun to lose at scrabbles tho... I enjoy it :]#I need to sleep now. but I had naan with chicken pumpkin stew today. it was really good. today was great #have a good night guys! hold ur friends hand while walking in the wood okay?

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bbbrianjones · 6 months

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um guys........ i think u need to understand i'm going fucking insane over this picture

#LMAO??? WHAT THE FUCK ?? LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FAVCT????????????????????????#you see the man on the right on your screen is probably the greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes #also known as riccardo patrese #i mean look at him!!! and his suit and tie and waistcoat???#BABY BOY YOU LOOK AMAZING!!#actually breath taking stuff right there i mean full rights to him for looking that good #and dear god he looks so good #and other guy is walter rohrl whom i don't really care for. nice to see him there though :)#because wherever there is walter there is usually his codriver christian geistdörfer #who just so happens to be the second greatest man to have ever lived in my eyes #christian is this little beam of joy. i love looking at him. he has such a kind face.#like the sort of face you would feel safe asking for directions if you needed to #whcih would be fantastic considering that is like literally hiss job #ANYWAY #the faact that walter and riccardo are together meant that riccardo and christian probably have met and like shook hands or something???#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THEN WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#lord if there is a picture with those two i will literally go to grave crying tears of joy. maybe that is all a girl ever wants.#god i can't get over how much excitement this picture causes me. there is so much hope in the world!!!!!!!!!#also patrese................................. again. i think we should have kissed at least. utterly unfair.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"

#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl #and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him #so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not #an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol #even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough #and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is #lackadaisy #oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but #points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously #and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that #wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash #also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh #numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't

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softquietsteadylove · 9 months

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Hey birdie! ✨

I've got a cute fluffy idea for "My First And Only" if that's okay! Thena and Gil fell asleep on the couch at Thenas and Ajak comes home after a long day at work. She's seeing them and takes a picture she's going to use as her smartphone background. Thena wakes up and glares at her mother but she can't get up because Gil is holding her! ✨🖤 Hugs and Love! 🖤✨

Thena blinked, finding the living room dark. The question of 'are you still watching?' having come and gone. She sighed, not quite ready to get up yet.

Gil wasn't either.

Right--they had been watching cooking shows while waiting for her mother to get back from work. Gil always kept her company when Mother was working, whether here or at his place with Karun. They had come home with onigiri and a new flavour of cup ramen to share as a snack.

And they might have made out a little bit.

Thena tried to reach for her phone but, somehow, she and Gil had moved from just leaning together on the couch to now fully cuddling. Gil was slumped over on the throw pillows, but with his arm firmly around her waist. Their legs were woven together messily, tangled in the subconscious desire to have their feet up while they rested.

"Gil," she whispered, although Gil was a very sound sleeper. The few times she had gone to his house on the weekends early in the morning, she had discovered as much.

That was also how she discovered that Gramps made wonderful pancakes.

"Gil," she whispered again, pushing on his chest faintly.

"'Ena," he mumbled, forgetting the 'Th' and only nestling further into her mother's plush sofa and pulling her tighter against him.

Thena smiled to herself, alone in the dusk. Gil was nice and warm, she had to admit. It was very different from when she had sleepovers with Makkari and Sersi, all three of them crammed into her double bed upstairs.

Gil sighed in his sleep, holding onto her in the slim space between his body and the back of the couch. His arm was both loosely and solidly wrapped around her.

Just so long as no one could see--could know she was indulging herself like this, Thena pressed her face to his chest. He smelled nice; he had started wearing some kind of scent since they started going out. She wasn't sure if it was real cologne or not, but it was kind of nice. And of course he smelled like whatever he had been cooking.

She wrapped her arms around him too, under the hoodie he was wearing. It was a little too warm for him to need it, but she was pretty sure he always had a jacket or sweater or something just in case she got cold so he could lend it to her. He loved 'boyfriend stuff' like that.

Thena sighed, quickly being pulled into sleep again by how warm and comfortable he was, even napping on her mother's couch in the early evening. "I love you, Gil."

He was asleep; it was the only reason she said it.

"Honey?--I'm sorry I'm late, my love, I--oh."

Thena kept her eyes closed, hoping her mother would simply...mind her business. For once.

Ajak was enthralled by her relationship with Gil. According to her, she wasn't sure if Thena would ever find herself in want of a romantic companion, and was thus ecstatic that she had found such a suitable partner as Gil.

She had plenty of 'I told you so's, in not so many words.

Thena listened as her mother abandoned her shoes by the door but definitely didn't go upstairs, or even into the other room towards the kitchen.

Ajak was quiet, tiptoeing in sock feet over the living room rug and towards them. She turned on the small side lamp and opened the curtains just a little.

Gil adjusted on the couch at the brighter environment before settling his head by Thena's again.

"Oh!" Ajak whispered in delight.

Thena's cheeks burned. She wasn't sure if it would be worse to be awake now or not. Maybe her mother would get the hint - for once - and leave them be if she pretended to still be asleep.

Ajak's phone made the quiet noise of a camera clicking.

"Mother!" Thena did her best to turn and glare at her mother, although still within Gil's hold.

"Sorry, honey," Ajak whispered, although obviously not with any real regret. "Did I wake you?"

Thena hesitated. "Yes."

"Sorry, my baby, you go back to sleep," Ajak murmured, although she didn't exactly scurry off to leave them alone.

Thena pushed against Gil's chest to angle her head, "what are you doing?"

Ajak was holding her phone with one hand and tapping away with her pointer finger of the other. "How do I change the background on this?"

"What?!"

"I know you've showed me before," Ajak murmured, tapping and pressing on various parts of her phone screen. "Oh, wait."

"No, Mother, you-"

Ajak looked up as Thena's fussing only got her encased in Gil's arms again. His embrace weighed down Thena against him, letting him nuzzle his face closer to hers again.

Thena heard Ajak squeak in delight. Perhaps it was just as well her face was being pushed into Gil's side again, having started to become engulfed in warmth.

"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going," Ajak practically giggled. She moved lightly, pausing only to pull the throw over the back of the couch over them.

Thena glared at her mother. "If you use that as a background I will-"

"Hush, Thena, don't want to wake Gil," Ajak cut her off, blowing kisses to them both as she finally bounded upstairs.

Thena pressed her face into Gil's chest one more time. She had to find a way to delete that picture from her mother's phone, and maybe from the face of the earth.

#My First and Only AU #ah young love #as they say #Ajak is obsessed #she's telling all her friends at the hospital about her daughter's sweet boyfriend #and they spend all their time together and he's such a little gentleman with her #Ajak did try to give Thena The Talk again since she started dating #but Thena nearly burst into flames and screamed at her mother that this wasn't necessary and stormed off #Ajak yells after her that she just wants her to be safe!#but anyway she doesn't mind at all if the kids want to have a little nap on the couch #I mean look at them!#they're so cute!#Gil does eventually wake up and lets go of Thena and apologizes when Ajak brings them in plates of dinner #poor boy is so embarrassed #he promises nothing happened!#Ajak just smiles and says that she knows that and she trusts them both completely #it's fine sweetheart don't worry #Thena is glaring the whole time chanting in her head #deleteitdeleteitdeleteitdeleteit #Ajak just grins at her because no she won't #it really is her phone background #much to Thena's horror #but once Gil is done being embarrassed about it he quietly texts Ajak #will you send me that picture?#Thena calls him a traitor and doesn't kiss him for a whole week

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