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mean-hare · 1 year

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ed diary, p.8

december, 1 i just saw a writing on the wall, it says "yora you are not bad. -paulo"

december, 2 i walked again. i found many unknown markets and one very weird place with houses, it looks empty and dreamlike, dejavu-ed estate. and the weather was fine, cold and dry. yellow plattenbaus and birches. many new sweets and drinks, cheap tea and two clippers with dogs (it was too hard to choose). it was mostly a good day.

december, 3 stayed at house. ate some cookies leftovers, drank lowcal monster ale. watched few films, drawed few dogboys. going to drink milktea and sleep. headache.

december, 4 we had a night conversations with paulo i mean he tried to expain me some sociology basics but he was a lil high an i was just as always. he drawed simplest schemes with funny men and we spend some time just laughing because of these men. then he tried to continue explaining but his next doodle looked like a bunny head (at least for me)and i decided that this is a bunny arsonist and i repeated the bunny arsonist phrase to paulo and something about arson…. i forgot everything he tried to explain, i remember only the bunny… morning was drilled and i splent time in malls again. i bought drinks, chips and kinder surprise with discount of course. i get the toy white bunny. it was the bunny arsonist itself.

december, 5 it was very fuck! i hate countryside even more now! it started up like simple walk through the village part of. it was even ok, i saw some good ruins and some old houses. but then i dont know how but i found myself walking in some wild fields near the highway. absolutely, completely far from my part of city or even from the city itself. i walk some time thru these dust-covered weeds in direction of kobylisy (name of my part of a city) but the highway was neverending and impossible for me to cross the road (of course, fuck, thats obvious! i even thought to cross the road in the stupid way to just run to the other side in random place ) but it was impossible to do without get injured. i found some mall and circled around to find some cross-walks or signs of where to go or idk even what i wanted to found. i didnt even enter the mall because sky becames dark and i thought that its late evening and i shouldnt lose more time (actually it was 5 pm). somebody may think "man, are you stupid? use your phone, look on map!" well, my phone is OLD, it have buttons. it DOESNT open maps in the web, it just cant! guys also temporary gave me their phone but when i tried to open a map it suddenly switch off without a reason. when i tried to turn it on it asks me a password which i didnt remember and card with password written on it was at home. also i didnt have enough money to call the guys. it was fucked up situation, yeah. i also should say that im like that NOT because i lived in ukrainee most of my life. most of ukrainian that under their 40 have modern phones and know how to deal with modern gear. i realy dont know whats wrong with me… finally i went to that unknown city part that looked almost like mine (the same plattenbau). i asked young couple passing by how to get to kobylisy and they said that i have to take the bus to (name of citypart is forgotten) on the nearest stop and then go to a subway and then took a train to kobylisy. i asked abot a way to go there on foot and they said that it will be too long. oh.. near the bus stop i asket girls passing by if buses from this stop going to kobylisy. they said yes. when the passed me i turned around andsaw that they laughted like crazy when thought that i dont look, obvious because of me. maybe im looking like fucked up ragamuffin after fucked up walk? moybe my accent sounds too freaky? maybe its because an "emo" badge attached to my coat (idk why but some people find it funny)? or maybe rhey lied to me????!!!! i asked the same question about bus stop boys passing by. they said yes. they also laughed a little. i took a bus and realized that i DONT know how to PAY. i saw a gear that people use to pay (i guess) but i didnt understand how it works, i never saw it before, i guess i need a working phone, to scan some code or something. and i didnt ask other passengers how to do it because i had enogh of people who laugh at me. so i didnt pay. subway was more easy. i asked some old man in hat if this train goes to kobylisy, he said yes (and didnt laugh after that) and i took that train. i didnt pay again. the trai was almost empty and finally i felt calm and comfort.

december, 6 walked not too far from house, only in known areas. im enough with it. i didnt tell the guys about yesterday. i dont think i need to do it.

december, 7 i walked out a little in the evening to buy sweets and to stare at moon (beautiful, colorful).paulo was sleeping almost all day. he is doing this often. id like to sleep as many time as him but i cant. maybe he thinks that im not depressed because i walk almost every day. beside most of the days i walk because of drills, not because i want to. and i cant sit on the bench all day, its too cold and sad.

december, 8 i walked in more unfamiliar direction but quickly found my way out before getting lost. took some pics of abandoned places.

december, 9 we went to some farther place at night to buy cigarettes. guys wanted to smoke and i was just as company for them. their aim shop was closed so they bought it in random chinese market. they also bought spicy chips and iced coffee. masha drank coffee, me and paulo shared chips. we walked and talked on some almost phylosofical and intelectual themes (but with shit bc paulo like to talk about shit, dirt and all like this). when we were almost home paulo/i/we made masha sad and angry on me/him/us and i didnt understand why shes sad or because of who and what. looks like because of him. he tried to cam her at home. i also tried to but i said something stupid or irrelevant and was ashame (at least i think so, they didnt response) so i better just shut up and make tea

december, 10 everything was hard. i coldnt go in web. i was tired of living with people who behave like i shouldnt be here. i hate to not understand anything and being said "you are old enough, you should do it yourself". i tired of being so lonely, pathetically lonely, very lonely… i was mad again. cryed and screamed that i hate everything and want to die. masha was angry at me because i scream, she always hates when somebody screams. but i just couldnt keep myself quiet. paulo said thad if want to die then ok but i need to move somewhere else to not make dirt in this house bc they dont want to clean it up. i screamed that i tried to kill myself before but i faied. he said that it means that i didnt try hard enought and something like this, i tried to argue with him but it was hard to crying and talk normally. masha said him that sometimes you want to die but not to kill yourself, you want to dissappear. well they also tried to calm me. masha gave me some pill they take to feel better. i stopped to cry but i was not feeling better, maybe even worse, im not sure. they also took me outside, bc paulo decided that i need to go to a forest nearby to scream there but i became unable to scream for some reason. and also i never feel comfortable to scream in the forest (and just to be in the forest). anyway i lied on dirty concrete and didnt wanted to move. when im like this my brain is splitting and go out of my body. theres me, im acting stupid, bad and loud. and theres also second me that observes it and thingking about how its stupid and miserable and ugly it looks, but unable to stop it, like its not me. at night i bought the bus ticket back to ukraine. it was a little impulsive. many of my deeds are very impulsive and rush even if i think about it a lot beforehand

december, 11 i packed my things (including that bull scull that was heavy and took up many space in my bagpack). yesterday i asked masha to lead me to that bus. i knew i cant ask paulo about it, he would say that i should do it myself and its all my problems. today he was just sleeping all day long. she helped me and i grateful her for it. my thoughts about people change often but today i think that she is very good. she said that it will be more empty without me in part of room near the battery. we apologized about things that we did or didnt to each other. i said that i really thought that moving out of ukraine will help, will change someting but i cant face all that by myself and found that i need much more help that they can required. it was the first time i went by long-distance bus all by myself, without parents, siblings or any unfamiliar people. i ate wafers, listened to my music in earphones. i didnt want to run down my phone (there was no charging) but ukrainian drivers have awful habit to put on veeeery awful low-quality ukrainian pop-folk 'music' (its probably the worst kind of ukrainian music). there was not many ppl in bus and one of them was young boy nearby, not beautiful or interensting or something, he was like something calming, i looked at him sometimes and was "he is looking thru the window, ok" or "he is sleeping" and it didnt mean nothing, it was ok. sometimes bus stopped on a gas stations and i was always the first to run to the toilet and back bc i still have some fear of missing out the bus. sometimes it was so beautiful outside, so snowy.

december, 12 i felt that im in ukraine and it was in a bad way. women in bus was arguing, thats awful. i wanted to sleep so bad. at the border i drank an energy drink and all the looong way to the snow and dirt covered station i wanted to pee. at my ukrainian flat i was still bad. arguing neighbors, annoying grandpa, blackouts, everything annoying. i cried in my dark room. the only good here is my toys and my old dog. but everything is still bad and fucked up. i hate to live here in this country. my mom made apple pancakes and i ate too many. i really wanted to eat pancakes

december, 13 i bought some junkfood but ate it not that fast and mindless as always, i think thats a good sign. i also did few posts in few tumblr blogs and watched misfits. i enjoy this show and i like rudi. he is awful guy so i dont really know why i like him i colored my drawings and listened to some music and felt kind of helplesness and something like what baby feels when its all alone in big dark house. it was only for a second. i feel this sometimes, i dont like this feeling.

december, 14 just a stupid day of binge on stupid cheese. mom is in hospital, dad came lately. actually i can purge most of the time but i dont want to, it doesnt really helps i didnt mention a problem with electricity in ukraine. theres a shedule hangs in the hallway that says in which hours of each day of week the light is present or absent. in no light hours most markets are closed. i have a candle and a lamp which charges but its not longlasting. dark hours of evening or night are the worst, very boring and dull. some of times i munch on sweets or other food "as a passtime activity", i can also ruin my eyes by drawing or reading in dim light of candle. at least i have a lot of books.

december, 15 another day in which i woke up at 16, bought and ate many sweets(at least it was less than 2000kcals) i found that my sister annoys me even more than before, just by her existing. also she looks very boring and plain now. she had bright dyed hair, pierced face and more alt clothes just a few month ago

december, 16 breakfast was at 5 pm, it was a pack of cream cookies i bought yesterday. was tasty. network was very bad but i talked with dani. he said that he got a girlfriend since this autumn. i was shocked. but it can explain his rudeness toward me in some times. i still love him. and i dont know who i envy more: him or his girlfriend. im in very bad state now, physically and mentally. i felt nauseous and still feel. and everything became much more annoying. i watched svankmayer's movie "lunacy" and all the time i wanted to hug the main character, jean. he was beautiful and his eyes was tired and scared. perhabs its not good pick for tonight, i felt like i want to vomit and almost bringed back bulimic tendencies. right after that i watched horror about werwolf to not tinking about my life. but now i dont know what to do, i dont feel like sleeping now. i thougt "why he is loving everybody but me" and "why is everybody find their love but me". and then i thought that my thoughts are stupid and my feelings are patethic. and then i thought that i should spend more time with my imaginary friends. and, if possible, watch more movies to distract myself from everything. im feelin bad. and still nauseous

december, 17 im ignoring my stomachache and nausea. and headache and unexplained yearnings make them duller. i eat and sleep and spend time in the same state in the same dirty den room day by day, indifferent and dazed by my indifference.

december, 18 theres tradition to give presents at night of 18-19 of december, especially for little children (its like santa's gifts in west countries). in my childhood i got big fancy bag with toys or something else, beautiful box of sweets, tangerines and always buncg of sticks as a traditional 'gift' for 'bad' kids (like charcoals in the sock in western countries). today my gift was just a paper bag with bag of chips, few 'healthy' bars and bag of nuts.and of course it led me to binge

december, 19 i didnt sleep at all and in my semiconscious mind came an idea to go to a supermarket. mom was glad and said to buy cat food for ronald and dishwashing liquid. i went to first market and bought a big bottl of energy. and hard candies with caffeine. and chips. and cat food but not that kind that mom asks. in second market i bought chips (again? again!) and even bigger bottle of pepsi black and something else just the same in pointless. i forgot now what i bought. i only remember that i couldnt pay with card for a minute bc i put it up to the screen with wrong side. maybe i should follow a new rule: dont go shopping when sleepless

december, 20 i decided to spend money tomorrow bc it brings me fun and i am lack of fun. i couldnt sleep almost all night long bc i drank an energy drink from a bottle i bought yesterday bc it was the nearest liquin here. i slept for maybe 4 hours. and i still find a time for overeating. my lifestyle is really overfucked chaotic.

december, 21 first of all i went to more expensive mall with many cans and bottles (mostly booze but not only). i bought 5 (or 6?) expensive (even with discount) caffeinated drinks (no booze), and also cookies and lion bar bc they were good and cheap. i wonder what the cashier boy thought about me and my purchase. second market was much cheaper and i bought some sweet shit and 2 more cans while forgot about what i really needed to buy. i was looked like a fucked up and drunk while going 'home', my fauxfurcoat was slipped off my shoulder and mind was hazy. i really need more sleep. now its evening, no electricity again, 5 unopened energy drink cans and few untouched green or black tea mugs on table, cookies and bar are also left for tomorrow. im glad i didnt eat all at once even in this semiconscious state!

december, 22 breakfast: energy drinks and cookies. lunch: lion coconut bar and another energy drink. i felt asleep early (at 1 am, thats early for me) but woke up at 5 am and couldnt fall asleep again so i consume my caffeine and hope for nothing. im feeling very bad, like im going to throw up or faint all the time. i guess its too much caffeine. so pity. i have new black teas i want to taste but i guess its not a good idea. im trying to draw ant to write and my caffeine restlessness is a little annoying but some pieces of creations are not that bad.

december, 23 i finished watching 'misfits' and started to watching 'brassic'. i found that i often have the main characters face expression, the what-a-fuck-is one. i ate just a liiiiitle too much bread with cream cheese. the fridge is full of cheese (my dad is great cheeselover) but i craved only for that one creamy kind, the cheapest (and, as i gladly realized lately, the lowest in calories)

december, 24 maybe i really have a problem with my overeating and hopoholism. i think about it often and im sure that therapy wouldnt help. i know why i do what i do. its all about loneliness. and admiration seeking. like im going out, walked the streets like a king, like the icon. people staring at me suspicious, they think im a kook and maybe they envy because theres not so many vivid genderfucking stylish guys in this ex-ussr hole. i walking to the market because i cantt stand to walk aimlessly, i should have a destination. id be rather go on bus to some friends house at the citys edge, id drink their cheap tea and listening their stories and wathing movies or walking with them but i have no friends here and nobody to go to. and im choosing what to buy. im pretending as if its an important decision, like my decision is really makes sense. and then im sitting in my room and eat all that things like a 'normal' man who loves to be big and full, like i have no ed and just enjoy my food and my life, as if its something to be enjoyed!

december, 25 they say its good to write few good things that happened today and to write that everyday. i thought that i have to try it but i failed bc there was no good things and yesterday was also free from good things

december, 26 i dont remember what was on this day but im sure i ruined it. id remember if there was something good, goodnes is rare for me

december, 27 its the end of a day, what more can i say? its a song by manes. love this song. so what to say? fuck everything.

december, 28 i was willing to whine everybody about how shitty this new year will be for me and how sad am i but nobody gives a fuck. people hate to listen to me. i get it, i hate to listen to myself even more. its time to continue my lifelong distraction.

december, 29 i found few places full of new energy drinks and spend so much of money on them. at evening one of the neighbors suddenly started to drill. i ran out and walked the streets. at first i didnt feel too bad about it. i walked the gloomy streets, swinged on swings like an iconic emokid, sang some songs with stupid voice. but then i became thirsty and annoyed by phone's low battery, and very cold. i walked in markets, spent money again on the stupid overpriced things but didnt get any warmer and nothing helped me with thirst.

december, 30 i bringed my little plastic pine tree from the balcony and putted on some plastoc balls on it. now it stands on a floor with many other random items and i dont even pretending that i have a holiday mood. but i wanted to do it.

december, 31 fuck it im leaving the 2022

#mhwnbcb #mental disorder #ed blr #ed bllog #bpd #depresszió #stream of thoughts

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hobgobbin · 5 years

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I’m FINALLY done with this sweet sweet fey warlock bitch. He took ENTIRELY too long and I was kinda lazy with his shading

I was also heavily inspired by @japhers beautiful art and designs to actually take the time and make a detailed (and thotty) design gghhdfgf

#dungeons and dragons #tiefling #d&d #warlock #fey warlock #drak ocs #cheri #i just realized I forgot the accent on his name but thats. fine #im too lazy to fix it gghkdhkf #he took me like 12 whole ass hours to draw im. suffer #I ALSO HOPE ITS NOT WEIRD TO @ YOU IM SORRY IF WEIRD. I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW #hobgob arts

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unexpectedcronchiness · 4 years

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CINDERELLA AU I WROTE FROM THE GROUP CHAT PART SOMETHING

WARNING: mentions of abuse yall its now on ao3 so if youd rather read it there go ahead https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003439

It wasn't Remus's fault he was a werewolf. If anything it was the blasted moon's fault, for taking the sanity of his mind once a month to fulfill its own personal desires. it wasn't his fault his parents and sisters didn't like him. Well most of the time. He would be lying if he said he hadn't egged them on every now and then but not often, not often enough for this.

Remus gingerly rubbed his arm,one of the many areas whipped and beaten tender and raw frequently. It would have been nice to think that his loving family were smart enough to not have left marks, but alas, they weren't. Not that it mattered. He'd had marks since his first moon, when he was six.

The marks were just one other thing that showed how he was a monster, less than human but close enough to know how much he wanted to be one. His eyes, that reflected light like a wolf, his canine teeth, just a bit larger than normal, enough to be unsettling, and his ears, that could hear the slightest of sounds outside of the full moon.

His ears he didn't mind so much, they were nice and offered him his only friends, the animals near their manor, but they were still unnatural. Speaking of his friends he heard a familiar scatter and quickly made sure the door to the attic, his room, was locked.

Peter, as the rat had told him his name was, scurried into the room. Peter on the outside seemed like a rat in every sense of the word until you talked to him. It seemed he was the opposite of Remus in a sense, a human with just a taste of being something less than, to know to avoid it.

ya got any of that good cheese the rat squeaked. Remus rolled his eyes, Peter also had a very one tracked mind.

"sorry friend, no meals for me for a while" he stated matter of factly. Peter groaned as well as a rat could groan.

What did you do this time? You know you shouldn't egg them on.

"Why, little ol me?" Remus mock gasped, "I would never." then he laughed "Well I would and do, but not this time. This time it was because I forgot to clean the chicken coop a third time, silly me."

Peter looked stern

you could leave, tear them apart, you're a werewolf for merlins sake, you have magic, wandless magic most wizards would kill for it.

"you forget" Remus added bitterly "Most werewolves kill for it. Or well jealousy of it. doing wandless magic would be like waving a sign saying "hello, I'm a werewolf, incredibly dangerous and unstable, grab your pitchforks and torches, please, go ahead and kill me. Besides it's not like I can have my wand, its locked up remember." This much was true, his wand had been locked up since he had first been bitten. Peter squeaked in indignation, he didn't like when Remus spoke so casually about such things or used his wry sarcastic voice like such.

Remus would have continued if it weren't for the thudding of someone coming up the ladder to the attic. Peter started squeaking in fright.

"Shhh, Peter, be quiet, hide." Remus hissed, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

The trapdoor swung open and his father, Lyall Lupin, stepped in in disgust.

"You'll be getting a reprieve, lucky you." Remus tried not to perk up at this, knowing that the rest of the story was yet to come.

"The black family is holding a ball for their sons 19th birthday and we are invited. We, of course, means not you." Remus resisted scoffing, naturally.

The Lupins were high society and therefore high enough to be invited to many gatherings, occasions, balls, parties and such, even by the Black Family. To be honest, the black family mostly gained its respect and wealth from fear and other unsavory going ons.

still, he couldn't help the pang of remorse of knowing that he could never go to one, much less the blacks. He had heard that Sirius black, the heir to the blacks title, was a sight to behold.

Even with successfully having kept his emotions in check, one look of misery flying across his face was enough for punishment.

"crucio '' Lyall whispered, barely audible. but Remus's ears could hear it, Remus could recognize the hatred that would flare in his father's eyes, and the way his lips moved, and his arm raised ever so slightly. He would have known what was coming even without being a werewolf.

Remus didn't scream.

For the first 3 seconds at least. a new record, a small part of his brain laughed.

Finally after years, the pain ended and Remus was on all fours, choking up blood, and clawing at the floorboards.

Crucio was not a favorite in the Lupin household but it was used when deemed necessary, or ya know, when someone was just angry or stressed enough.

"Remember your place, monster. You do not, have not, and will not ever deserve to feel emotions. Emotions are for humans" Lyall sneered and then spat at Remus.

and with that he left, crying out a list of chores and a "We'll be back at 3 in the morning, have them completed by then."

Remus didn't dare nod. He sat in silence before he remembered that Peter was still in the room.

"Oh shit, Peter are you ok? SHit I'm so sorry you had to see that." While Remus had screamed whilst being taught his lesson, he had not cried. He frequently chalked that up to simply having no more tears left to cry, or that monsters simply didn't cry but as he saw Peter shaking in fear under his bed covers, his heart broke.

"Peter, shh, shh, hey, im ok, see im ok, everything's alright"

I should be comforting you! The cruciatus is illegal!

"so is a werewolf living unregistered."

thats different

"How so, please enlighten me between using a spell that makes you a monster and being a monster." Remus snapped.

Peter paused, then tried to keep his voice even.

Remus, you can't believe him, you are not a monster in any way shape or form, please tell me you don't believe him

"Oh really Peter, would a human be able to smell the fear on you, because I do, you're afraid Peter, afraid of me, afraid of the monster I am."

I am afraid for you, huge difference Peter retorted as calmly as he could muster. Remus sighed.

"I know, you're right, im sorry Peter. its- its been a long day, I think im going to take a walk"

don't be too long, its a full moon tonight.

"how could I ever forget" Remus said with a smile, and with that he left.

------------

Remus took a walk around the grounds, and finally collapsed on a stone bench by the moonflowers. ugh fucking moon flowers, he hated them. they only bloomed at night and only the magical ones bloomed on full moons.

Draping his arms and head across the bench as he knelt in the grass Remus sighed, trying to steady his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. but then the pace changed, the rhythm uneven, interrupted by hiccups, some breaths shallow, others unbearably deep like it was the first breath of air he'd ever had. Oh, he was crying, Remus realized. apparently he was still human enough to cry. Then he looked at the moon, steadily rising in the night sky and cried even harder.

"-i wish,I fucking wish" he hiccuped. "that I could just be fucking normal for one goddamn night, get dressed up even. Hell maybe I could go to the fucking black party." He mocked a posh voice "Wouldn't that be a ball" and he was laughing as he cried. He heard a rustle behind him, felt the shadow being cast on him and looked up.

A stag, a rather large one at that. That was odd, something about him reminded him of Peter.

it's dangerous to wish upon moonlight, hadn't you heard

"I think I've apparently preemptively paid my price, thanks for the concern." then Remus was looking at the stag oddly, he was different in the same way Peter was.

"besides," Remus continued conversationally, "I hear that werewolves come out on full moons, nasty things those werewolves are, can't trust them. You better run along before you get mauled."

you only change at midnight, I think im fine

this shocked Remus, he did not expect the stag to know he was a werewolf and was hoping for him to run along and let him continue being dramatic in the moonlight.

so about those wishes, what would you do for them

Remus could tell when someone was trying to change the topic, so he obliged.

"what would you do if you were in my situation?" Remus asked, not willing to play the stags games.

i would kill, hurt, take my revenge, my justice, take what's mine, my rights

"you and I are not very alike then, I don't think I ever could do that." This seemed to please the stag as it's upper lip curled just a bit.

please, call me James

and with that Remus felt the tingle of magic under his skin, yet it wasn't in a bad way like normal. Not understanding what was happening, but embracing the feeling, Remus shut his eyes, stood and let whatever the apparently magical deer wanted to happen, happen. Was it odd to say that he trusted this deer as much as Peter?

when Remus opened his eyes, he was wearing a white suit with blue and gold accents and he was standing in something hard, but not uncomfortable. He looked down. Fucking moonstone shoes. what the fuck. how were they not a) heavy as all get out b) uncomfortable as all get out and c) why there weren't literally any other material that wasn't moonstones.

"look while I appreciate being told I need fashion help,I don't think i-"

I'm not finished, the stag, James, said amused. then he turned around to a pumpkin in the garden.

Suddenly the pumpkin was growing, then it was paling in color, and then it was hollow, and then there were craters and oh shit, James , a deer, James the deer, had a fucked up sense of humor turning a pumpkin into a moon carriage that glowed in the other moons moonlight. Moon moon moon moon moon. Remus thought to himself in disgust. Remus just wished he understood what the punchline was.

"again, while I appreciate being told I need better wheels I still don't-" James laughed, or neighed, or whatever it was that stags did.

you're very impatient and then there was a rustle again, this time smaller

James turned around, not angry, not amused, but like something he had rather wished not to believe had made sense.

and look, now we have our mighty steed! James whipped his head around, and Remus cried out, recognizing Peter. Peter squeaked in fear and turned to run but was too slow. at an uneven pace his body began growing and shifting until he was a "mighty steed" as James put it

"Peter, are you ok, can you hear me?" the horse, Peter, nodded. James looked shocked, well as shocked as stag could look Remus supposed

you call him Peter?

"yes,I call you James and I call him Peter, there are these things called names you see, they're very funny" Remus retorted, angry that his friend had been turned into a horse

"Look mr.I would murder someone stag,I don't appreciate my friend being turned into a horse and would rather you tell me what's going on or turn him back this instant." James grinned,

for a smart one you can be stupid. I thought it was obvious, you have to arrive at the black mansion in style of course.

Remus gaped, no he couldn't do this, what if he was caught by his family, what if he hurt someone, what if he-

as he started to voice these complaints to James he was cut off

you've got one shot at normal, maybe even turning your life around, will you take it?

Remus didn't know if he could bear tasting normalcy and then having it ripped away from him but he couldn't bear it either way so he nodded.

good, because otherwise all this transfiguration would've gone to waste.

"transfiguration- wait- how do you , can you-"

well would you look at the time, the party's about to start, hop on lets get going, no time to dawdle and James nudged Remus into the carriage where Peter had hooked himself up begrudgingly.

"wait why are you doing this, what are you?"

who knows, maybe I'm your fairy godmother or something, did you ever think of that hmm, and frankly,I don't care.

and with that, James was gone.

----------

Sirius sighed. He would have much preferred a quiet celebration with his best mates Peter and James but sure, why not, throw a lavish party, thank you.

Still it's not like he could complain, he liked dancing, he liked people, sometimes, and he liked meeting young men. Sirius knew part of the reason why his mother was hosting this party, so he could find a nice wealthy respectable lady, get hitched, get her prego and create another bundle of tiny blacks.

Not like that would ever happen if men kept looking the way they did, and that didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon so he got ready for the ball.

An hour of prep later, freshly showered and clothed in a black suit with red and gold accents, standing in front of the mirror Sirius was wondering if he should even go to this party in his honor. He could just bail, it's not like he didn't already know all of the men going and that they were all pretty damn straight. and boring, can't forget boring. He could just grab James and Peter, get some firewhiskey and waste the night away, yeah that sounded nice.

Speaking of James and Peter, he was beginning to get worried. Peter had been pretty flighty as of late saying shit like he was seeing his "werewolf friend named Remus that was being abused" honestly, Peter should have outgrown imaginary friends, but that seemed rude to say so Sirius went along with it. He was beginning to grow rather concerned as Peter's description of his, Remus's, abuse was growing rather vivid, and very violent. James on the other hand, well they were attached at the hip. while the blacks and potters didn't necessarily historically get along very well, that had never stopped James and Sirius. maybe he was out prancing in his animagus form? He had been doing that a lot too lately as well. Or maybe he was trying to woo lily, who knew?

finally, James showed up, a half hour before the party started covered in leaves and looking magically exhausted muttering something about "a moon, a giant moon, damn im so fucking good" and laughing to himself.

"Oi James, fucking finally? Where have you been? does this mean we're skipping" James swayed a little in place and Sirius immediately fetched him some water. At the word skipping James straightened up, trying to keep a calm face.

"No no no, it's your 19th birthday. I think you should go, I have a feeling this one'll be special."

that was odd. James and Sirius both knew that his birthday often turned into a shit show as they both grew bored with the company and the whole thing in general and decided to plan a monstrous prank. not something "special." giving up trying to understand the inner workings of James's mind Sirius sighed and said simply

"i have a green suit that will go nicely with your eyes in my closet, get the leaves out of your hair, try to make yourself presentable and I'll go get it" James grinned that classic James grin and saluted

did not mean to hit send yet whoops

"yessir" and began fussing with his hair trying to get leaves and sticks out. Sirius rummaged around in his closet, still worrying about Peter. when he voiced this to James, James merely grinned wider and said "I think he's hanging out with his werewolf friend"

"On my birthday?" Sirius whined James laughed and said simply

"as much as it tries to, the world does not revolve around you."

Sirius sighed dramatically once more, looked at the time, and got ready to go greet his arriving guests

-------------

Remus's family was wealthy, he knew that much, but what he did not know was that his wealth was inconsequential in comparison to the blacks.

a mass of black brick, gargoyles and buttresses that was the black mansion spread across the horizon as the steady line of extravagant carriages grew nearer.

Remus swallowed his nerves and adjusted his hair and after what seemed like ages they arrived. Remus tentatively walked the steps, not trying to feel self conscious as he was walking alone, while everyone else was in groups of around 3 or more.

"name sir?" Oh shit, Remus forgot about this part, the overly dramatic "hey let's announce your whole presence so your abusive family knows you disobeyed them and shit" part. panicking, Remus said baldar io. baldar after one of the arabic words for moon and io after jupiter's moon. shit. he just named himself moon moon.

"SIR BALDAR IO" the man cried out, and more than a few heads turned, at this unfamiliar name.

Remus shrunk under the attention and decided he would make his way over to the buffet as gracefully as possible when the large double doors at the end of the room flung open. Out walked a woman and three men, all with jet black hair. Remus would have assumed that they were all related if it weren't for the jet green eyes of one of them, while the others had a stark grey.

Remus couldn't help it, he was a little amused, and a little disappointed. The infamous blacks were rather ordinary looking, the younger one, that Remus assumed must be Sirius, had short black hair and a hollow gaze. and Then all of them shifted, and Remus's eyes widened as a hush filled the room.

"the young Sirius black!" the woman, his mother, announced. Sirius black was more than Remus could have ever imagined beauty to look like.

his hair was long and black, obviously, but it curled at odd romantic angles, his jawline looked like it was sharp enough to kill, but would settle for helping give gentle kisses instead, his eyes lacked the piercing violent ferocity that the other 3 blacks had, but looked as though it's own ferocity was nothing to be mocked.

Remus openly gaped, and even heard a couple of chuckles around him as people noticed.

the man, Sirius black looked bored yet intrigued by the whole thing, like he was waiting for something special to happen but was disappointed it hadn't happened yet.

Remus had to leave he had to get out, shit how could he even be in the same room as this man without combusting he would never know as he turned to leave, Remus realised he was gathered in the middle of the dance floor with everyone else and the music began to swell.

shit shit shit shit shit.

"I can't help to notice you're looking a little lost." without turning around Remus chuckled

"you would have noticed correctly then"

"So what brings you to the dance floor if not to dance?"

"I was-" Remus turned around and silently gasped, Sirius black was standing in front of him, smirking.

"well then, shall we show them all up and dance absolutely divinely, badar io?"

"I-I'm afraid I wouldn't be doing much showing up as I have no clue what this is,"

"Well you see, this is called a waltz, Shostakovich Waltz No 2 to be precise." Remus rolled his eyes at sirus's teasing.

"Believe it or not I can recognize shostakovich when I hear it, I mean, I do not know how to dance to it. this one looks very specific." Sirius's face broke out into a full fledged grin as he said

"No better time to learn than the present, and I happen to be an excellent partner."

"And a modest one too" Remus said dryly as he awkwardly shuffled, not knowing what to do with his limbs

Sirius noticed and took pity on Remus as he gently grabbed Remus's wrists, and guided the left hand to his shoulder, the right enclosed in his own and then sirus's hand was on his waist, unconsciously circling the fabric there with his thumb. Remus's breath hitched. He was in for a long night.

--------

this one, this one was funny, he was interesting, bloody gorgeous, and best of all, as gay as Sirius was. He had recalled hearing the unfamiliar name "badar io" and was immediately intrigued, but also confused when James laughed like this was the funniest thing since his first prank.

James, taking mercy on Sirius's confused and desperate expression, happened to point out the young rugged looking man that was confused on the dance floor.

And so Sirius had walked up to him, smirking, laying on the Sirius style charm, and then he didn't know how to dance which Sirius really shouldn't have found as endearing as he did, and then, one itsy bitsy final test, Sirius put his hand on badars waist, circling it, very consciously mind you, with his thumb and did a victory dance in his head as badar's breathe hitched.

he was at least a little gay alright.

So the night went and Sirius had only eyes for badar, and it seemed badar only had eyes for him, but more so than in the "hey it's Sirius black, how cool is that" way. like Sirius was his own person, interesting and attractive, and Sirius could've drowned in that look the entire night.

Instead he settled for flirting and far too personal questions. He had never really had the time or patience for small talk and this man was obviously his soulmate.

Sirius had had no belief in soulmates whatsoever until he laid eyes on badar. and his beliefs were only confirmed as he had begun to relax, get into the flow of the music, crack wry and witty jokes, and eventually flirt back.

Sirius had held no belief in true love either, or love at first sight, but as he was quickly learning, he needed to open his mind more.

"favorite color" Sirius asked, dead serious. ha, serious he thought, the pun never failing to amuse him. badar laughed, a sound Sirius thought might possibly be his favorite in the whole wide world.

"You go from, biggest fear, greatest insecurities, what are some of the morals you live by, do you believe in second chances to what's your favorite color?" badar laughed again. "you seem to enjoy doing things backwards. it's silver. What about you?" Sirius stared intently into badars eyes and his answer had changed from the usual red or maroon to a brilliant gold, just like badars own irises

"gold"

"ah yes like your suit which is not at all gaudy in any way shape or form"

"Oi ill have you know this suit is top of the line thankyouverymuch."

"I'll have you know that top of the line can be gaudy, thankyouverymuch"

Sirius laughed for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"do you want to get out of here," he asked?

badar coughed

"ar-are you propositioning me????"

"what- OH- oh no no no, shit, no,Ithought we could go into the garden, give you a break, check out the lights and talk some more maybe?"

"oh, ok, that sounds lovely. but ill have you know I'm not accepting because im tired, im accepting because you look tired and Iobviously have far to much stamina for you"

Sirius laughed again, but truth be told, he wanted to see how much stamina badar really had, he wanted to-

coughing and adjusting himself, he led badar out to the back gardens.

--------------

The blacks had certainly not spared any expense when it came to floriculture, the garden was decked out in strongylodon macrobotrys, chocolate cosmos, dendrophylax lindenii, shenzen nongke orchids and-

Remus laughed, moonflowers, but only magical ones. only ones that bloomed on full moons,

It was odd, hearing Sirius laugh and pay attention to him like he was the most interesting person in the world.

It was odd, hearing himself be referred to as badar.

it was odd, he rather liked badar, it was like an alter ego, a persona, except it felt real. With a start, Remus realized that was because he was simply being his genuine self.

it was odd, seeing the usually confident Sirius black shyly not make eye contact as his soft hands intertwined with Remus's.

It was odd, feeling his own arm move over to run his fingers through Sirius's soft hair.

it was odd, being close enough to count his eyelashes, to feel his breath on his lips, to see every detail of his eyes-

it was odd feeling soft lips pressed against his own for the very first time

it was odd as he relaxed into Sirius's arms, as his eyes fluttered shut, as the tingling drifted from his stomach all the way to his finger tips.

It was odd trusting a person so completely and fully as he did Sirius, and have them not even know his real name.

His moment of bliss was interrupted as he heard an ominous dong of the giant clock in the garden.

Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck dammit fuck

Remus didn't know how he would handle going back, knowing the tenderness he was missing, the soft hands against his own, something kind and loving that was in the world, but he knew he must.

He pulled away frantic and said

"thank you, thank you so, so much- b- but-I really have to go." Sirius looked crestfallen at this but reached out and grabbed Remus's arm before he could fully flee.

"will I see you again" that set off the waterworks for Remus

"No, I don't think you will." The clock rang out again. and pulled Sirius in for one final chaste kiss. and then without knowing what he was doing he cried out "Remus Lupin!"

And he left, stumbling down the stairs of the garden that led into the forest, the one that connected with his own, leaving a moonstone shoe behind.

--------

when Remus woke up approximately an hour later (the moons were shorter when he was happy) He could remember feeling his paws pound against the forest floor. He could remember smelling home, he could remember only barely ripping out his own skin. Then he woke up, in a different kind of agony, like grieving a loss. Then he remembered the list of chores that had been left for him, that had barely seemed possible when he had an extra 3-5 hours to complete them. groaning he got to work.

Peter showed up, and was only mad at Remus for a little bit before he began trying to clean in his own little way.

finally after centuries, though it had only been two hours, Remus finished and, he tucked away his other moonstone shoe, (that for some reason had not transfigured back) and he fell into his bed and right before he fell asleep he could hear a door downstairs open, and the voices of his family walking in.

----------

Sirius was absolutely miserable it was three in the morning and he had gotten incredibly drunk with James and Peter immediately after badar had left. he didn't know why badar had left, why he cried out Remus Lupin, why he had kissed him so sweetly just to say he'd never see him again.

Sirius threw a pillow against the wall, feeling the impact of the sobering potion he had taken, and rubbed the moonstone shoe, the only thing that was reminding him that badar wasn't in fact a hallucination or a dream.

"James, he was just so perfect-Ijust-IthinkIlove him James,I Love him James and i'll never see him again, did you know there was never a badar io in our little town? He gave a fake name James!"

"what about the other name he gave, have you looked into it."

"What do you mean, other name- OH MERLIN ITS A NAME" A glimmer of hope shone in Sirius's eyes as he ran to the library where he knew there was a magic record of all legal documentation of families in their town. Was it illegal? yeah, but Sirius couldn't think about the morality of that right now, he was in love.

"Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin, Lupin Remus, Lupin Remus, Lupin Lupin Lupin ahA!" he cried out after flipping through pages, finally finding the Lupin line. "Remus, Remus, Remus" wait, that wasn't right, that couldn't be-

Remus Lupin, declared dead at age six, cause unknown signed- signed the entire Lupin family, what was going on, he looked down and saw a little photo and a sharp intake of breath could be heard behind him and honestly he did the same.

"James it-it says he's dead- but- but he felt- felt so- so- so- real" tears began to well in Sirius's eyes "How can he be dead?" but James wasn't paying attention, he was staring at the paper muttering

"they're worse than I thought I can't believe they would do that,I Can't believe-"

"James what's going on?" Sirius asked, his voice small.

"I guess you deserve to know,-"

James continued " what happens on a full moon?"

"What do you mean what happens on a full moon, James the hell?"

"What happens on a full moon at midnight" something clicked in Sirius's mind though he wasn't quite sure what yet.

"Werewolves but James what-"

"What would a wealthy, respectable family do if they had a son bitten by a werewolf at age six but couldn't kill him?"

"I Mean maybe fake his death and keep him hidden but don't see-HOLY SHIT" James nodded gravely.

"Those bastards, how could they do that to him!!!?!?"

"Before you decide to go charging in, you need to think, you're still the heir to the black family, think of something crazy, ridiculous and plausible that could get you safely into the Lupin household."

"Jamesy my boy, do you even know who you're talking to?" Sirius said with a mischievous grin

------

Sirius woke to the sound of giggling and his sisters running downstairs.

It was 11 in the morning, they had let the monster sleep him, how nice. He must have done a good job last night at cleaning. Gingerly he climbed down the ladder and stopped one of his sisters, Drizella.

"Drizella, what's going on? Remus queried. Drizella sniffed

"If you must know, Sirius black has announced he's looking for his true love, and whoever fits the shoe that was left behind by her!"

"Who's ‘her’?"

"Apparently he danced with one maiden and one maiden alone the entire night and she had to leave at midnight but didn't give him a real name and as he ran off, she left behind a moonstone shoe!"

A maiden now, was he? Remus chuckled in his mind and headed back to his room.

As he sat down, he pulled out the moonstone shoe and held it softly against his chest as a reminder of-

Suddenly he heard an outraged squeak to his left and saw his father standing in the trapdoor of the attic, looking royally pissed off, and then he saw the door shut, heard the key lock, all before he could get there

And then he was pounding on the door, splinters in his fists scrapes on his palms and then he heard "he's coming by today, your prince charming, and he will marry one of my daughters and you'll never, ever see him again."

Remus cried out and buried his face in his hands unsure of what to do.

This time hours went by, and Remus was sure they were hours because he counted every last second. Then he heard a scritching noise under his bed so he looked and out shot Peter, looking concerned as he could be

what'd you do this time to be trapped in here Peter squeaked, horrified.

"I wooed the ever charming Sirius black and that was a no no"

Peter sputtered nonstop, starting and restarting sentences, when at that moment something crashed into Remus's room from the window.

"What the-" Remus began but was cut off by the new black haired green eyed arrivals

"Ok so Sirius is down stairs getting ready to slip the shoe on your sisters, he would rather only try you but we didn't count on you being locked up here" wait, was that.... James?

a voice behind them piped up.

"We could try to explode the trapdoor!" Pete added- wait Peter? Remus whipped around and groaned Peter was not a rat, well not at the moment, but he was still Peter. Remus could smell him, could hear the intonations in his voice.

"Animaguses,I Should have bloody known"

James just grinned that classic James grin and continued. "you better hurry,Ithink you're father's gonna try to fight the magic that Sirius placed on the shoe."

"what magic, why would he need magic."

"well, he kind of said... thathewouldmarrywhoevertheshoefit, because they would obviously be the one he danced with all night, and then-" James trailed off, thinking of words.

"-he knew that people would "be dying to get their paws on him maritally," his quote, not mine and so he placed a spell that the shoe would only fit the person it last belonged to but there are ways to overcome a spell and you're fathers attempting them right now also a sacred oath may or may not be involved in the whole 'ill marry whoever the shoe fits' thing."

"if the shoe fits, wear it" Remus muttered under his breath and then louder continued "Okey dokey so we don't have time to unpack all that but first- why this whole finding the feet of my 'princess' thing? if he really wanted to see me couldn't he have just, i don't know, broken down doors to find me or something."

"Always the romantic, Remus" Peter rolled his eyes.

"well, see, he's the heir to the black title, and well as much as he would love to abandon it all, he thinks he has a chance to use all that wealth and influence for good." Remus vaguely remembered Sirius implying something of the sort last night so he nodded, and James continued "so he couldn't just waltz in peoples houses being like 'ayo, are yalls Remus Lupin, lets get funky if you are' and such so thus, the extravagant plan was hatched." Remus laughed, that was just so like Sirius to do that it was ridiculous.

then at that moment a scream could be heard downstairs. shit

The three of them paled and Sirius and Peter ran over to the trap door, having a heated conversation back and forth about "what could we do" "uh levicorpus" "thats an ankle levitation charm, idiot." "Well maybe it would have levitated the ankle of the trap door and we could have gotten out." Peter hissed back, but Remus was barely paying attention to them.

He was instead, looking out the broken window James had crashed in on. realizing what must be done, Remus stepped on the window sill, and jumped.

To be honest, Remus had never tried to jump from 3 stories before but he could do 2, so what was one entire story difference? A lot apparently as he landed on his ankle with a thud, there was only so much a non moon werewolf could do.

Not letting it deter him and ignoring the confused cries from James and Sirius, Remus ran around to the front door.

when he finally arrived he could hear muffled sobs from Anastasia and his father's cold, uncaring voice. Not wasting another second Remus flung open the door, rage in his face.

Remus gasped as he entered the room, seeing the pile of blood at Anastasia's feet, seeing Drizellas shocked expression that she was next, seeing his father's frigid and determined expression, and his mother's sickly face that looked like she was regretting many things. Lyall had cut off her toes to fit the shoe. The bastard.

tired, ageless rage filled Remus and he was about to make good use of his werewolf wandless magic but stopped when he saw Sirius's confused, terrified, and admittedly freaked out face about the whole toe thing turn into one of relief and unmitigated joy. That stopped Remus cold in his tracks.

No, he'd made it this far in life with being a werewolf without killing anyone,no, he'd made it this far in life without being a monster and he wasn't about to change that now. Remus waved his hand and Drizella gasped as Anastasia's toes stitched themselves to her foot. Then he pointed his index finger at lyall.

His father was flung against the wall, pinned by an invisible force. Remus stepped forward coldly. He thought of everything he felt for Peter, Sirius, and even James, the meddling bastard. He thought of how it felt to be in Sirius's arms, how it felt to have them taken away and any lingering doubts disappeared.

"I am more human than you will ever be" Remus hissed and with that he dropped him, leaving him gasping for air.

Sirius recognized his cue and got on one knee, presenting the no longer blood covered shoe, thanks to a quick cleaning charm.

"hey Remus, sorry about all this."

"it's dramatic and gaudy and undeniably you,I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius grinned at this, and said "you know,I don't think you should ever consider a future in fortune telling, you said I would never see you again, and look where we are."

Remus's voice cracked "you have no idea how glad I am I was wrong." he whispered.

Sirius gestured to the shoe and Remus's scratched up bare feet, "may i" he asked nervously.

Remus slipped his foot into the shoe cautiously and then there was bright blinding light emerging from the shoe and then all at once it stopped.

Remus was standing in the suit he had been wearing the night before and so was Sirius.

Unable to help it, he flung into Sirius's open arms, needing to reacquaint himself with the feeling.

tenderly, Sirius tipped Remus's chin up

"hi" was all Sirius said, but this time it was Remus who closed the gap.

"hello, my names Remus, soon to be black I think at this point" Sirius beamed at this and said

"Remus black, I think I rather like that, well at least a lot more than moon moon" he teased, Remus laughed

"I panicked ok?"

"and so your instinct was just 'moons'? I'll have to keep that in mind in case I ever spring anything on you. 'hey babe can you do the dishes' 'uh hi my names esmeray ophelia'"

"ah, resorted to the dishwasher,I take it my fortune telling career did not go so well."

"Nope, i'm afraid it didn't, but it's so nice that you have an incredibly wealthy boyfriend/fiance/husband thing, how nice is that."

"Yes I am eternally grateful for my sugar daddy, my glucose guardian, my carbohydrate caretaker, my sucrose sweetheart-" Sirius laughed, and put his hands up in defeat

"you win, you win"

and Remus thought of all that he had gained in a matter of a day, his humanity, the love of his life, friends that were actually human (that part was rather weird and he was still reeling) and an escape from his family.

"Yes I rather think I did" and closed the distance once more

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qveenmikaelson · 4 years

Text

In Love With Another Man : A Klaus Mikaelson Imagine

Word Count: 2,588 (Whew, Did Not Expect To Write That Much)

Warnings: Slight Smut .. If You Can Call It That, Thats About It I Believe

Hey Guys . I’m Back With Another Imagine . I Honestly Came Up With The Idea For This In Like 2.5 Seconds While Listening To Jasmine Sullivan’s “In Love With Another Man” . (Lyrics Are Italicized) But Before I Get Into It I Just Want To Take The Chance To Shoutout And Thank @xxwritemeastoryxx And @nmikaelsonimagines .. These Two Are Really An Inspiration For Me And Has Really Encouraged My Writing And I Hope To One Day Be As Good As You All Are . x Sorry For Any Mistakes x .

Don’t Underestimate The Allure Of Darkness. Even The Purest Of Hearts Are Drawn To It.

———————————————————————

And I Know That I Should Throw The Towel In, But Baby It’s Not, Not That Easy.

You Had A Wonderful Life, Perfect Even. At Least You’d Like To Think So. You Were 23 Years Old Living In New Orleans. Had A Nice Job, Working Part Time At This Boutique In The French Quarter And You Had This Amazing Boyfriend Whom You’d Been With For About 5 Years Now. When You Weren’t Working At The Boutique You Were Out Taking Pictures. Because Working At The Boutique Wasn’t Something You Planned On Doing The Rest Of Your Life, You Wanted To Be A Photographer , You Wanted Your Pictures To Be In Everyone’s Homes And You Wanted To Be The One Everyone Came To When They Needed Photo Shoots Done. And Until Then Working A Part Time Job On The Side Was Okay Until You Got To Where You Needed To Be. So Maybe You’re Life Wasn’t Perfect.. But It Was Perfect Enough For You. You Were Content

Until You Saw Him

You Had Been In Town On One Of Your Days Off Taking In The Sun, And Everything Around. You Had Your Camera With You Taking Pictures Of Some Of Everything. You Found The Beauty That Was The French Quarter Captivating And Once You Started Snapping There Was No Stopping. You Were In The Zone . You Got Pictures Of Tourist Laughing About, Flowers , Buildings, Animals.. And Him . It Wasn’t On Purpose . You Were Trying To Get This Photo Of The Most Alluring Butterfly That Landed On This Flower Outside Of This Bar. You Were Across The Street When It Flew By You And You Knew That By The Time You Got Over There To Get An Up Close It Would Be To Late So You Stayed In Your Spot Trying To Get A Good Shot . You’d Managed To Snap A Couple Of Photos Before Your View Was Blocked By City Goers.

Looking Back At The Photos Hoping To Have Gotten At Least One Good Photo Of The Butterfly, That’s When You Noticed Him. It Wasn’t Much, But It Was Enough To Draw Your Attention. Sitting In The Window Of The Bar Was A Man . The Sun Hitting His Face At Just The Right Angle. Illuminating His Golden Curls Making Him Look Like Something Out Of A Story Book .. Angelic .. Like A God .

You Couldn’t Stop Your Feet From Moving, Its Like They Had A Mind of Their Own. Before You Knew It You Were Across The Street Standing In Front Of The Bar.. Rousseau's. You Wondered Why You Haven’t Stumbled Upon This Place Before But Then Again You Weren’t Much Of A Drinker To Begin With. Things Seemed To Move In Slow Motion In The Midst Of The Fastness Of The Quarter As You Walked Through The Door And Walking Up To The Bar, But Not Before Making Eye Contact With Your Mystery Man For A Quick Second. He Already Had You Drawn In With Just A Side Glace OF His Face From The Picture, But Once You Seen His Eyes.. His Eyes Were Something Else. Blue But With A Hint A Darkness In Them, Making The Mystery That Was This Man All The More Interesting.

You Now Found Yourself Sitting At The Bar Drink In Hand, While Looking Through Your Camera Roll All While Hoping That The Small Eye Contact You Made With The Man Was Enough For Him To Notice You And Come Over. You Weren’t Desperate Or Anything, You Just Wanted To Know More About Him For Some Reason, And After All You Had A Boyfriend That You Loved.. You Didn’t Need Anything More. Little Did You Know He Noticed You.. Just Not At The Same Time You Noticed Him.

Klaus Had Been Walking The Streets Of The Quarter One Afternoon.. No Doubt Coming From Rousseau’s When He Noticed You. Taking Pictures Of Everything Around You Smiling As You Did It. That Smile Of Yours Would Be Etched Into His Mind Over The Next Couple Of Weeks, And Before He Knew It You Were The New Subject Of His Paintings. He Would Find Himself Casually Walking The Streets Almost Everyday Hoping To Run Into You Because It Was Something About You That Pulled Him In.. He Wanted To Know More, He Wanted.. You

You Were At The Bar For A Minute, You Actually Became Acquainted With The Bar Tinder. Her Name Was Camille But She Preferred Cami. You Both Sparked Up A Conversation When She Noticed The Camera In Your Hand. You Ended Up Talking About How You Were Aspiring To Become A Photographer, And She A Psychologist, When She Offered That You Could Take Some Pictures Of The Place If You Wanted And You Happily Obliged. Cami Walked To The Other End Of The Bar To Take Care Of Some People So You Were Left By Yourself Again.. Until Your Mystery Man Came And Took The Seat Next To You.. But You Were So Into The Photos You Were Taking That You Hadn’t Really Noticed, Until He Spoke With That Thick Accent Of His.

“Hello Love”

And From That Moment He Had You, And He Knew It Too. For A Second You Forgot Why You Were In The Bar In The First Place Until You Turned To The Voice That Had Spoken, And Needless To Say You Were Breathless, Which Was A First For You Because You Could Talk Someones Head Off If You Wanted. You Hadn’t Really Noticed You Zoned Out While Looking At Him Until You Noticed His Lips Moving But You Weren’t Hearing Anything.

“I’m So Sorry, Were You Saying Something” You Questioned Turning In Your Seat Towards Him

The Famous Smirk You Would Soon Get Familiar With, The One That Would Cause Your Heart To Skip A Few Beats Appeared On His Face, As If He Knew The Effect He Had On You Already

“I Said Of All The Times I’ve Been In This Bar, I’ve Never Seen Your Pretty Face Here.. And Trust Me Sweetheart, I Couldn’t Forget A Face Like Yours” He Said Eyes Peering Into Your Soul It Felt Like.. Smirk Still In His Face “I’m Klaus”

“Yn”

Was All You Could Say. You Were Already Drawn To Him From The Glimpse Of Him In The Picture You Had Taken, But Being Face To Face With Him, And Hearing His Accent Was A Whole Other Ball Game And You Were Starting To Regret Coming In Here But By Then It Was Already Too Late. Whether Or Not You Knew It, You Were Pulled In And There Was No Escaping. You Never Really Noticed When People Started Leaving, Or When The Sun Went Down For That Matter. It Wasn’t Until Chairs Started Going Up That You Realized That You Had Been At That Bar For No More That 5 Hours Sitting And Talking About Any And Everything With Klaus. It Was As If You Knew Him Personally And He You. You Honestly Didn’t Want To Leave But You Knew You had Too, Your Boyfriend Would Be Back In Town Tomorrow And You Still Needed To Get Some Stuff Around The House Down, And It Was Pretty Late So You Bid Your Drinking Partner For The Time Being A Goodnight And Started To Leave But Being The Gentlemen That Klaus Mikaelson Is, He Offered To Walk You To Your Place Claiming That It Wasn’t Safe For A Young Lady As Yourself To Be Walking Alone. It Didn’t Seem Like You Had An Option Because If You Were Being Honest You Might Have Had Just A Little Too Much To Drink So You Accepted His Offer.

Walking Under The Moonlit Sky On A Warm Summer Night Carrying On The Conversation You Too Were Having In The Bar Didn’t Help The Growing Attraction You Had For Him, But Of Course You Didn’t Know It Yet. It Wouldn’t Be Until A Few Run-Ins Later, Some Long Conversations At Rousseau's, And An Invitation To An “Annual Mikaelson Ball” Accompanied By This Gorgeous Dress That Was Way More Than What You Could Afford Right Now That You Would Soon Realize You Were Falling For Niklaus Mikaelson. Because After That First Night He Walked You Home, You Couldn’t Get Him Out Of Your Head, No Matter How Hard You Tried.

If I Could, Could Forget Him

I Would, Please Believe Me

Over The Months You Found Yourself Thinking About Him More. Klaus Gave You A Sense Of Adventure You Didn’t Know You Wanted Until You Met Him. He Bought You Gifts Even Though You Didn’t Ask For Them, But He Would Always Reply With “A Queen Should Always Be Showered With The Finest Gifts” And You Would Always Assure Him That You Were No Queen, And It Was Getting Harder To Explain Where The Gifts Were Coming From When Your Boyfriend Would See You Wearing This Fancy Necklace, Or The Most Recent Gift, A Brand New Camera.

And I Know That I Should Throw The Towel In

But, Baby, Its Not, Not That Easy

You Knew What You Was Doing Was Wrong, Even Through You And Klaus Never Displayed Any Type Of Affection Towards Each Other Physically.. Emotionally You Knew There Was Something There. You Had To Cut What Ever This Was Off Before Someone Got Hurt, But It Was Easier Said Than Done, And After The Way That Night Ended Between The Two Of You When You Tried To Walk Away, It Was Very Much Too Late, You Were In Too Deep.

“Hello Love” He Acknowledged When You Walked Into His Study Not Noticing The Look On Your Face

“We Have To End.. Whatever It Is Were Doing, I Told You When We First Met That I Had A Boyfriend, And I Should’ve Never Entertained Any Of This:

“Did You Walk Here By Yourself Love, I Told You Its Too Dangerous For You To Be By Yourself When Its Getting Dark” Klaus Said Totally Ignoring What You Said”

“D- Did You Hear What I Said Nik .. This” You Said Gesturing Between The Two Of You “Has To Stop.. I Had A Life Before I Met You.. A Wonderful Like That I Was Perfectly Fine With”

If I Was Sane There’d Be No Competition

But, I’m In Love With Someone Else

“I Heard What You Said Love. But You And I Both Know That’s Not True” He Said Looking At You Giving That Same Smirk.. The One That Somehow Makes You Melt Every Time, The One That Made Your Heart Beat A Thousand Beats Per Minute And He Knew It

“But It Is.. So, I’ll See You Nik” You Started To Turn Away And Walk Out But When Before You Could Comprehend It, He Was In Front Of You

When You First Started Hanging Out Klaus Wanted To Keep You Out Of The Supernatural World, But That Failed Difficult When You Were Caught In The Crossfire Of Two Vampires When Walking Home One Day, And You Wanted Answers And That Night He Told You Everything. You Were Fascinated To Say The Least, Always Trying To Get A Picture Of Klaus In His Hybrid State, Saying It Would Be One Of The Best Shots You Would Have Ever Taken But He Never Let You

“See Love, You And I Both Know That’s Not Possible” Klaus Said As His Hands Caressed Your Arms Until He Placed Them On Your Waist, Pulling You To Him. His Touch Lit A Fire In You, One You Didn’t Know You Had And You Were Aroused To Say The Least. You Couldn’t Even Get Your Words Out Properly And You Hated The Effect He Had On Your Body

“W-Why Do You T-Think That” You Said Looking Anywhere But His Eyes

“Because Love” He Said Gripping Your Chin Forcing You To Look Up At Him “If You Didn’t Want This, If You Truly Wanted This To End, You Would Have Called.. It Wasn’t Something That Needed To Be Said In Person” He Said Starring Down At You, Like He Was Slowly Undressing You With His Body “I Give You Something That You Didn’t Know You Needed, And You Cant Stand It.

“And What Is That” You Said Eyes Falling To His Lips. You Cursed Your Body For Betraying You The Way It Was. Truth Is He Was Right You Didn’t Want This To End You Didn’t Want To Stop Hanging Around The Original Hybrid But You Felt Horrible, Telling Yourself That You Indeed Loved Your Boyfriend Of 5 Years, But Your Heart Telling You Something Different Whenever You Were Around Nik.

“Adventure ..”

Its Quite Ironic How You Came To The Compound To Let Nik Know That You Were Done With This Little Situation You Were In With Him, Only To End Up In a Complete Different Situation.. But You Couldn’t Argue That The Situation You Were In Now Was Better. Before You Knew It You Were In Nik’s Bed Wrapped Up In His Sheets. Bodies Tangled Together As His Lips Kissed Every Inch Of Your Body, Missing Not One Crevice, Crack, Or Birthmark, Marking You As His.

His Hands Roamed Your Body Appreciatively As You Moaned Out His Name Not Really Caring If Any Of His Siblings Were Home Now. The Pleasure Was Slowly Building Up As Your Two Bodies Moved In Sync, Panting Heavily, Skin Glistening Due From The Sweat You Two Were Creating, And The Moans And Grunts From You Two Getting Louder And Louder By The Minute.

By The Time You Two Were Anywhere Near Done, The Sun Was Coming Up, And With The Previous Events You Knew Your Legs Were Out For The Count. You Lay Wrapped Up In His Arms Head On His Chest Listening To His Undead Heart Beat While He Was Asleep Thinking About What Just Happened. Thinking About These Last Couple Of Months. You Knew It Was Going To Be A Hard Conversation To Have With Your Boyfriend. But You Knew It Needed To Be Done . Because You Weren’t Sure When It Happened, Maybe It Was The First Time You Had A Conversation With Him, Or That One Time At The Ball His Family Threw When You Were Dancing To This Slow Song And It Felt As If You Were The Only Two In The Room. Or Maybe It Was When He Saved You That Day And Told You All About His World, The Way His Voice Was Laced With Concern, Asking Were You Okay The Rest Of The Night Even When You Assured Him You Were Fine.

He Ain’t Always Right, But He’s Just Right For Me

I’m In Love With Another Man

And I’m So Sorry, Hey

But I Love Someone Else

What Ever Moment It Was Between You And Niklaus Mikaelson Ranging From The Moment You Laid Eyes On Him Up Until Now, You Were Most Certain You Were In Love With This Man.

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Okay So I’m Not Really Sure How I Did On This One, I Liked It And Hopefully You All Like It Also, If You Could I Would Love Feedback On My Writing So I Could Know What I Need To Work On. I’m Going To Try Uploading More Frequently Since I Graduated Beauty School So I’m At Home All Day, But Once Again I Hope You Enjoyed This As Much As I Liked Writing It. Until Next Time .

#klaus x reader #klaus imagine #klaus mikaelson #imagines #the originals #vampire diaries

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gale-gentlepenguin · 5 years

Text

ML fic: Almost Perfect part 2

(Part 1 here)

_______________________________________________________________________

The up and coming designer arrived to her apartment. She closed the door behind her and took her shoes off at the door. Putting them neatly to the side.

She had plenty of time to unwind before her call with her rockstar boyfriend. She put on her slippers and walked to her bedroom, changing into her pajamas and putting on a lovely white and pink robe that she designed for herself.

She moved to the modest yet lovely kitchen area and began making herself some tea. ‘Some chamomile tea would be nice and calming’ she thought to herself as she set the water to boil.

The bluish black haired young women thought back to her conversation with Adrien. The young ceo had grown even more handsome then last time she saw him. He had become much more approachable over the years, now they were even business partners for an upcoming event. It use to be so awkward between them, after the reveal...

Marinette shook her head, getting that memory out of her head. There was no need to dwell on such things. Thats what she told herself. It was in the past, thats where it would stay. Besides, she had more important things to think about.

Marinette realized that the water was ready and quickly turned off the stove top. She prepared herself a cup, letting the tea steep as she moved the cup to the table.

She heard her phone alarm go off. It was time for him to call. Marinette knew he wouldn't call right this second, he was always a few minutes late, she didn't mind. Luka’s life was hectic and wild, the rock star life is all about rolling with the rocking, thats what Luka always said. She found the expression cute.

It had been 20 minutes and still no call. Marinette looked at the time as she sipped her tea. Since he was in the U.S. the time difference ranged depending on where he was. He might have gotten confused on the time in Paris.

Marinette told herself she would wait another 10 minutes before she would try and call him. Over the years she learned to try and not overanalyze things. She had learned from Fu how to meditate and her time as Ladybug helped her not stress out in situations. And of course the guitarist was instrumental in her learning how to take things slow when needed.

After a few minutes, her mind started racing. What if he forgot? What if something happened to his phone? What if he got attacked by a crazy fan of his. What if he was in Texas and he got shot?! Marinette realized what she was thinking and took a slow sip of her tea. Helping her relax.

She assured herself that everything would be fine. She just needed to keep calm.

She took another sip of tea just before her phone buzzed. She nearly dropped her cup. She put it down and picked up the phone.

“Hey Songbird.” She cooed to her phone.

“Hello Marinette.” A voice that did not belong to her boyfriend spoke.

“Oh... hello Melody.” Marinette responded, her tone saddened. She was hoping to hear Luka’s voice.

Melody was a member of Kitty section. Juleka and Rose left the band after they got accepted into college. Ivan stayed in the band but they needed two replacements. They got a keyboard player named Kris Cles, who went by K. he was a skinny guy who didn't talk much but was nice. When he did speak, he talked with a British accent. No one knows why since he never set foot in London until they went touring there last year. The other new addition was Melody Musique, a girl Luka met in University. She had black hair but with Dark pinkish almost red tips, and she had ocean blue eyes. She was a bit rough around the edges but she knew how to sing and Luka vouched that she was a good person. She and Luka would often be writing songs together, and the music they made was impressive.

Marinette was not a fan of Melody. It wasn't like with Lila or Chloé where they were nasty and mean to her, far from it, Melody and her have actually gotten along and are civil with each other. But Marinette would be lying if she said that she wasn't envious of the vocalist at times. She always seemed to get Luka even better then she did, which when Luka and her had their disagreements Melody actually helped them fix. Melody was also hard to read, but Luka managed to understand her perfectly. It was easy to get the wrong idea and assume things.

“Luka is arguing with one of the execs over the new song we wrote. They wanted to change the lyrics to make it easier to use in commercials, and you know how Luka is when it comes to his songs.” Melody explained.

Marinette sighs but smiles, that was Luka alright.

“He told me to call you to tell you that he didn't forget. But with the way the talk is going, it was gonna be a while.”

“Oh, well I am glad to know he is okay.” Marinette answered. “Did he say when he could call again?”

Marinette heard the vocalist hum as she thought about the question.

“Well the time is pretty packed for the next few days since the tour is wrapping up. I am sure you will be able to see him in person when we come back.” Melody assured.

“So its ending this week? Great! It feels like I haven't seen him in months.” Marinette was starting to get excited again.

“Yea, didn't he tell you when he called you last week?”

Marinette felt her smile falter.

“We didn't get to talk last week, he messaged me saying that he was making a breakthrough in a song and he pushed it to this week.” Marinette admitted.

“Oh? Well I will be sure to give him an earful for not telling his cute girlfriend that he was coming home.” Melody teases.

“Thanks Mel.” Marinette smiled a bit. “Just don't steal him from me using your charms.”

��I only promise not to use the good charms.” Melody laughed. “Sleep well Mari.”

“Thanks, Tell Luka I said hi and that I love him bunches even though he blew me off again.”

“Should I include an extra bit of guilt so he gets you a cool souvenir?”

“If you can work it in.”

“Will do.”

Marinette hangs up the phone and lets out a long disappointed sigh.

This was the third time he has done this. She hadn't talked to that boy in almost a month, and it was a bit annoying. She understood that his music was important to him, but it hurts being put as an after-thought.

She understood what it was like getting swept up in what you love. She hardly had any time when she was making Miraculous brand a thing. Luka was patient with her. She needed to be patient with him. This was just a hiccup in a long and wonderful relationship.

After all, he was gonna propose when he got back from the tour. Juleka told her that she saw him with a ring box last time he was at home. What else could it mean?

Marinette finished her tea and moved to the sink to wash and put out to dry. She was sure that everything would be fine.

She was living her dream career, her best friend was engaged and she was in a loving relationship with a good man. Her life was perfect.... Well almost perfect.

______________________________________________________________________

(Yes I created OCs. Yes I made them puns.)

(Please let me know your thoughts. Do you guys want more? Is it a good part two?)

#ml #ml au #almost perfect #part 2 #miraculous ladybug #lukanette #marinette dupain cheng #luka couffaine #juleka couffaine #Melody Musique #Kris Cles #ML ANGST #ml fluff #ml bittersweet #ml fanficiton #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous fanficiton

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voidsfanficfortress · 5 years

Text

Old South American Love

Two kids are running around near the coast, their cheerful screams seems to drown the noise of the waves.

The voices get distorted, and the last thing that one of the kids say.

" You promise we Will stay togheter?"

" Until death do us apart"

The girl is cut off and The woman finally snaps from her daydream, the bumpy road and the incessant caws of her bird companion grounds her again.

-I did it again , didnt I?-

The hawk nodds its head,placing his prosthetic claw on her shoulder, snuggling his beak into her hair.

-I do wonder what his life is up to , these days...after he enlisted in BOPE I lost track of him..-

The van finally stops, backdoors are Open,and some recruits help with the luggage.

-Vigia, stay close , Will you?-

The bird nodds and flews around base, finding something to amuse himself,grabbing her luggage, and her backpack, she goes out of the convoy and breathes New fresh air- here we are-

She looks at the operators around her, each of them different from the rest, the tall building , infront of her ,all of it new.

But her peace didnt last long.

-come here you dirty bandido!-

The short haired woman, sees how her pet hawk is being chased by a Man in his 50's, way too fast for someone pushing that age up the hill.

On a closer inspection, the bird seemed to Grab a pouch with habano cigars.

-what did we say about stealing!- the hawk glides back to their owners shoulder, looking down- and whats this?- she looks at the pouch, it has " Souza" written in one of the sides- this is yours I presume?-

The man is catching his breath, but nodds, the woman looks at him,he looks so familiar.

-Yeah, thanks,-his brazilian accent brought back some memories you thought you forgot- hey..have have we met before?-

And then everything clicked togheter, the memories, his last name,his accent.

She realizes and smiles,so thats why Harry told her there was a familiar face around!.

-Hi Vicente, its been a long while...-

The Man drops the pouch and hugs you, smiling as a lot of memories come back to him.

On your side some tears scaped, laughing so happily,seems that your hawk is way more intelligent that he appears,they recognize him first.

- look at you- you say at the Man-youve grown so big, and handsome too- afterwards you wink- whats the troublesome souza up to these days?, still wooing women left and right?-

The Man lets out a hearty laugh, it makes you blush and your heart skip a beat.

-I wish, but this thing has been cockblocking me ever since- he says poiting at his eye patch- , youve grown too, into a beautiful woman- his hands sneak to your waist,tour body presses agains his- ive missed you-

- Me too-you say- a little bit too much for my liking-you decide to go inside the base, after everything was set up in your room, you and Vicente went to his.

Looking at the photos hung on the walls,they brought back so Many stories and experiences.-Remember when we used to run around the beach?-you sit on his bed, he does the same and both of you entagle your limbs around eachother, dont wanting to let go- how we used to play hide and seek - he nodds- how we use to walk around it as teens?talking about random shit and complaining?- you hear a "yes" being mumbled,then you smile- remember our first time togheter?-the Man lifts his head up and smiles -You were so nervous, I was too, dont get me wrong,but you, oh Man, you seemed like you were ready to bolt out the room- Vicente pulls you closer ,starting to laugh at his past self- and remember what I told you?- he shakes his head- I told you ' if you dont want to do this, its fine, if youre unconfortable, its fine, If you think this is weird?, I get it, but what I wont stand is that you think youre not worthy of me because of your looks",then you threw yourself to me, and hugged me, then kissed me, and then ,well you know the rest-you both chuckle- but what I said back then, I now, still mean it , you are worthy of love, traumas and eyepatch aside-

His smile went bigger-Your dad chased me for three blocks and then another two more when I went the Next day to cuddle with you- capitao said- youve always been so nice to me and, well,so polite- he leans in for a kiss- youve always been for me, even after the 'accident'-you know what he means by that, his brothers murder- and now that I got you back, il not letting you go-

You both kiss, passionate, saying those things youve always wanted to say, but never did, you two fall on the bed, you caress his hair and break the kiss, gasping for air.

- What do you say, old Man, one for the old days?-

He throws himself at you kissing you again.

Yep.He hasnt change.

[...]

-Honey...- you hear a voice call you- wake up-

You turn around, only to see your lover,Vicente, behind you, mumbling stuff , his arms are around you, shielding you from all evil ever existed.

-Hey troublemaker - you say with a smirk- how did you slept?-

- Fine, what about you?-

You Stretch and groan,then you make your fingers pop.

-I have you by my side, so I slept Like a baby-

The both of you chuckle.

-You cheese little shit-he kisses you,and tightens his grip on you- I wouldnt want you any other way-you feel his breath tickle the back of your neck- want to make it official?-

-You dont need to even ask!-

-then , i am back, honey, and im not ever going to leave you -

You turn around and kiss him, caressing his cheeks as you do so.

Both of you stay like that for the rest of the afternoon.

Finally togheter, finally reunited.

-This is like a soap opera-

You hear Vicente groan.

-You just needed to ruin the moment-

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@grain-crain-drain

-Void

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oflgtfol · 6 years

Text

bc i cant stop thinking abt that dream.. im gonna elaborate on it because it was so detailed and so long and felt so real

so it started off with me in a small library but like, it was so cramped and the lights were off. bookshelves were everywhere, and most were like only waist high? strange adults were everywhere, standing against the walls/shelves or sitting in the aisles. all had their hands cuffed behind their backs or in front of them and they all had like, tape or something over their mouths. but there were some adults among them in bullet proof vests and with guns in their hands. i dont know the situation like i dont even think i acknowledged it in the dream but from context clues im p sure it was like a hostage situation

so im in there sneaking around, in the back of my mind i just Know that my parents and my brother are also in the room also sneaking thru the aisles. all the hostage adults are staring at me like, acknowledging that they know im here to help rescue them. so after a few close calls around corners almost getting caught by the gunmen i get to a somewhat open area, meanig that its still cramped but its a small square between bookshelves with a table and 2 chairs. theres a TON of hostages squeezed into this area. i knew that that was the objective, that i had to get there

so me and my family burst forward and the gunmen spot us, but the hostages all help us overwhelm the guys. the gunmen are shooting blindly into the crowd, aiming mostly for me and my family, and SOMEHOW everybody else dodges it but me. literally it went in slow motion and i saw it like in third person, watching it come towards me and i was like “watch it hit me lmao. oh fuck its actually gonna hit me”

so i get shot in my stomach during all this and the pain just, it wasnt all that bad really? like it felt like uhm. getting hit with a water balloon actually (i was just in a water fight yesterday and now upon realizing this its like.... did that contribute to this dream....) so then its all clear like the bad guys are defeated, it gets kinda blurry at this point but i know in some disembodied way that i told my parents after everything wrapped up when they were asking if everyone was okay that i was hit, and they like, didnt care. i was like “HEY i got SHOT in the stomach!” and theyre like k and it took them foreverrrrrrr to get me medical attention. and i wasnt even.. bleeding outwardly? so i was so worried about internal bleeding because like HEY i have a bullet in me so i must be bleeding somewhere like,,, come on lmao

the next like visual thing i remember is in the hospital. its been a while since like, i woke up so this is kinda blurry too but i remember being put into a wheelchair by some nurses.. ive been in a wheelchair only once and that was in 2nd grade but this one i was allowed to use like, on my own, so it threw me off? and at this point i was like, fuck, i’ve been shot before when i was little. i’ve done this before. i had to go into surgery and everything. but it was all vague flashes i could barely remember it but it felt a lot like when i remember the major things from my childhood that i just COMPLETELY forgot about for so long, like speech therapy? like i had gotten injured from a gun when i was less than ten years old and i just, forgot about that? i was like HOW did i forget about this

so i was already in the hospital at this point but for the one room, i wheeled up to the entrance and it felt kinda like the 11th/12th grade cafeteria entrance that i use in school?? a small double door, blank walls, kinda dark, empty, and there was a nurse checking us in. at this point i was surrounded by all my classmates from my ap lang class, or maybe not ap lang in particular idk since like all the ap kids are mostly grouped together despite class? idk man. but my classmates were literally all fine idk why they were there? they werent even there for checkups or anything (disregarding the fact that you dont get a check up at a hospital you get that at a normal doctors office..) so i was there in my literal wheelchair and the nurse was like “wait your turn!!” she was really snooty it was annoying i was like, word for word, “uhm HELLO i have a GSW in my abdomen!!!!!!” and my one classmate finally spoke up as he was being checked in he was like “uh hey brot is here and like, got shot, so i think she should go first lmao?” so the nurse finally smiled at me and admitted me in

and it led to this small cramped room where they scanned your entire body for every single thing wrong with it adn they displayed it on a board where everyone could see, including my classmates, and i was like ohh my god. oh my god. the nurses were like “hm you could eat better but overall you’re in good health!” and i was like DUDE thats embarrassing i dont want everybody to see all my minute issues and LIKE I AM LITERALLY INJURED I HAVE A BULLET IN MY STOMACH WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING MY DIET WHEN THERE ARE MORE PRESSING ISSUES...

so finally we go into the actual room and its this giant giant mostly empty room, im remembering this room from my first go at this from when i was a kid. theres a table in the middle thats pretty big but has.. no chairs around it... but theres puzzles and weird bookmark things scattered around on it to keep you occupied, and then theres a single table far removed from everything else, only long enough for a body and slightly wider, and theres one identical to that on the other side of the room. and i know from when i was a kid that those are for surgeries and like, i KNOW this but i was like, wrow thats unsanitary lmao

so i go to the table in the middle because thats where you’re supposed to wait till you’re called for surgery, but im so ANXIOUS because like.. its surgery... and now im remembering more of it from when i was a kid like im remembering going into it, waking up from it... my classmates are all sitting on the table like its some casual after school thing, theyre all talking

and then i remember from the first surgery. i remember the surgery itself. i apparently wasnt put under for it. i was conscious during it. i was numbed out obviously but like, i was AWAKE, and that makes me SO fucking scared for my upcoming surgery. like, enough that some of my classmates sense that im getting more and more anxious so they start shoving the bookmarks in my face, and the bookmarks are like the weird ones from the library irl that have quotes on them, and like i cant even read any because im just so anxious like im keeled over in the wheelchair so anxious about it, and the fact that my classmates are trying to interact with me during this is just making it worse like i APPRECIATE trying to make me feel better but i CANNOT read right now

and like, i was never called for surgery? im sitting there until the sun sets, but i only know that because i eventually leave the room just needing to do SOMETHING and the hospital lobby, for all the people waiting for patients? is empty and the sky outside is the dark blue kind of like, twilight

i really dont know how this dream suddenly turns, like i cannot remember the breaching moment and idk if its because its been almost 12 hours since i woke from the dream or if there even WAS a breaching moment

but the next thing i know is that me and shannen are running (me wheeling furiously) along the top of some like, wall. and the hospital looming in front of us is now some sort of fortified citadel, and we’re on one of the defensive walls around it, theres towers and spires everywhere in the distance around the citadel. and theres fucking. ANGELS attackign the place. the angels are classic white dress wearing, harp playing, type creatures but their eyes are all closed and black tears are running down their faces, and literally everything else about them is white. the dresses are this weathered white, their skin is weathered white (like, like marble but without the darker lines yknow?), and their eyes + tears are the darkest things on them so they stand OUT. and their mouths are flat lines, also black like as if its like, lineart or something yknow? like their faces look like masks but they arent. they have harps in one hand and then LONG ass swords in their other hands and they are fuckign terrifying

so me and shannen are outside of the main area of attack and we stumble upon this part of the wall thats like, collapsed, and theres a fucking OCEAN next to the citadel. so the stones that have fallen into the water, theres some sort of chariot on it with the same kind of look as the angels, white + black accent kinda look to it. the chariot is low lying and theres a figure laying over it, collapsed, reaching forward at nothing almost like a zombie trying to move? and he.. god i wanna say it was icarus but i really dont know because i feel, deep down that his name started with an e but i have no idea what dude it would be then bc i know it was a guy from greek mythology somehow but IDK WHO... so this guy also has the same vibe as the angels but his face is like, a fuckign mess, like it looked like he was melting (maybe thats why i wanna say icarus idk) but the melted parts were black, plus the black eyes (whcih were semi open) and the black tears and his mouth was kinda open in a silent wail (also black). i wanna say he had black hair too but idk maybe the whole black mass on his overall head was just the melting.. and this melted black liquid is strewn all over the chariot and the stone block thats barely out of the water. and out of the water, behind the chariot, all the angels were bursting forward and heading to the citadel like as if it was the Angel Spawn Point

IDK it was such a weird fuckign sight it looked like a fallen angel but i just knew deep down that it was some guy from greek mythology but I DONT KNOW WHO IT WOULD BE especially with a name starting with e..!!!

anyway yeah i woke up then. the whole angel sequence was super short compared to the rest of the dream, but it was more on par with what i normally dream than the rest? like i dont recall ever having guns in my dreams except for maybe one dream in middle school that was like,,,,, nuclear apocalypse type thing......... and never have i ever been like, INJURED like that in a dream? i’ve died in dreams yeah but ive never been like.. shot.. the closest thing i can think of was that one weird borderline nightmare earlier this year where i died of internal bleeding in school due to school negligence..... hm!

like idk this was just such a weird dream i normally have very very wild dreams with a more fantasy element to them, and the mundane ones are just me in school or on tumblr, like ive never had like, an ACTION MOVIE kinda thing??

and it felt SO REAL like when i woke up i literally thought that i had some sort of repressed gun related traumatic event from my childhood that i was only uncovering now and it was only when i realized that i was in bed and not like, at the hospital with a gun wound in my stomach, that i was like oh haha no thats not real

#gun violence #the bread has spoken #i should just start a tag for ym dreams lmfao more often than not i post abt them here #OK WAIT NOW I WANNA SAY THAT GUY WAS EREBUS BUT I THINK IM JUST SAYING THAT BC LIKE.. BLACK TEARS.. DARKNESS... IDK #IDK.. IDK!!!!#i dont even think its anybody in particular but in my dream i had a specific name #i saw the guy and i was like oh shit its ____#maybe i did call him icarus. maybe i did call him erebus #but for either one its not like.. accurate irl but in my dream? whoever it was i called him. it was supposed to be actually him #my dreams

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dropdeadesu · 7 years

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BJoo Time~!

BJoo goes first for a couple of reasons. He sat directly with us from the beginning - Laira was actually sitting next to him for the entire start of the meal, until Hansol literally forced him to switch places. He spoke a lot of English - a LOT of English, which was a pleasant surprise. I know in live streams and stuff previously he's asked fans to speak in Korean, but he's been working really hard, and it's showing. He joked around a bit and used an American accent a few times, and he spent most the meal wriggling around.

We came in a bit late due to taxi/traffic, and we were nervous as Hell when we first got in and everyone was seated, but BJoo tried to be really friendly and initiated conversation with us. We played the 'how old are you game'- each of the members did this. They'd ask how old each of us were and ask for our names. BJoo was really sweet. Laira, being the outgoing, ballsy person she is, didn't answer him directly. Instead she asked him how old she thought we were. He sat for a moment and went "....Younger than me?" Which, really I don't think he was trying to be impolite. He seemed to actually think about it and study each of our faces. Honestly, we're both a bit older than him by a few years, so when we told him he was wrong and he started guessing ages and got to the right one, his eyes lit up and he goes "Oh! Noona!" and it was really, really cute. Rae is younger than everyone, so he (and others later) just called her 'dongsaeng'.

This is also where we found out that BJoo didn't like Hummus, which was in that video that I took and sent. They had little snack plates that they dropped off with cheese and crackers and stuff. Some of the cheese cubes had little toothpicks with ToppDogg's logo on them, and BJoo thought that was awesome. He pulled his phone out to show us the food he had made the other night. From where I was sitting it looked like curry, but I was across the table, so Laira asked what it was. BJoo, extremely excited goes "Scramble!!"

Laira squinted, "Scramble...?"

Yano leaned over and goes "Scrambled eggs."

BJoo lit up. He was extremely proud of his scrambled eggs. Informative Yano was informative.

He said his eggs were a lot better than the hummus and ended up showing us all his broken screen while showing us what he had made. When we asked him how he broke it, he said he forgot it was in the bathroom with him and he was in a hurry, and it fell. He seemed kinda embarrassed (or maybe self conscious because his English was a little broken), so I reassured him that I'd done that too and I'd dropped mine in the sink before even, and after that he seemed to feel a bit better and started to relax. Laira went "I'm sorry you broke your phone!" and he seemed genuinely confused. "Sorry? Why...why sorry? You didn't do anything." And then we explained to him that people just use it to express sympathy or empathy in the states, and he goes "oh... you didn't do anything though." His confusion was really endearing.

He asked us where we were from, and when we said Salt Lake City he looked a bit confused, which we expected because Utah isn't exactly the first place you think of when you think United States, but then the Manager got really excited and explained to him thats where the Olympics were a few years ago, and then BJoo got really excited about that. I explained to him that it was close to Las Vegas, and he laughed and said he wanted to go to Vegas, so I invited him with us. Then he goes "Pshh I have no money!" Laira leaned in a bit closer and went "We'd pay for you", to which I backed her up and told him he should do it. He laughed and said it sounded fun, and we talked a little bit about the times we've went and stuff.

From there, he asked how we liked Korea, and if we'd had Soju yet. I told him we had, and he asked if we liked Soju or wine more and we talked about that. The manager joked about him liking Whiskey and BJoo made a face.

"What, you don't like Jack Daniels?"

BJoo stared at me for a minute and blinked, "Jack...?"

The manager at that point laughed and shook his head and told us that BJoo really didn't like liquor and didn't know the brand 'Jack Daniels'.

"Oh! You don't drink?? What about coffee?"

He shook his head again and kinda laughed, "Nooo... I like sweet!! Tea! Iced tea!"

So then we started talking about Peach Tea, and how he really liked sweet things, and the manager made fun of him for that too. I then asked him if he liked Mochas and sweet coffee and he goes 'oh yea, I like those!'

While talking we were waiting for more food, and things got kinda quiet again, and he asked us if we knew any Korean. We said a little, and he asked 'but are you good?' We said no, and he leaned forward.

"Okay! Since we wait for food, it's time to learn 'I am hungry', okay?"

We all nod and go "okay!"

He grinned and goes "Sangwon i pabo"

So, of course, all four of us stupid American's repeat back "Sangwon i pabo", with varying levels of accuracy.

"No, no, no, no--" he shakes his head, "You have to mean it - be /loud/. You're /really/ hungry!" He leaned back, started to rub his stomach, and he repeats it again, so we all repeat it again - and at this point in time, I notice Laira goes 'wait', and our new friend Cheri who was sitting next to me stops too. So now it's mostly my stupid ass repeating back and forth this little phrase with BJoo. This is probably a good point in time to mention Yano's sitting right next to BJoo, and up until now he's been spending most of his time talking to the Australian ToppKlass.

Cue him whipping his head around and looking at us.

"You know what 'Sangwon' is, right??"

Laira leaned forward just a bit, "It's...your name."

Meanwhile, I'm confused, because it took me up until now to start saying 'pabo' instead of 'pablo', and BJoo was laughing. Cheri then looked at me and goes "You've been calling Yano an idiot this whole time."

I was mortified and wanted to scream because I LOVE YANO. So immediately I started trying to apologize, especially since I know he gets his feelings hurt fairly easily, and he just shook his head and said it was fine. But I swear I died a little inside on that day. [[Mmmm whatcha say playing in the distance]]

Around this time BJoo picked up one of the longer toothpicks he had collected on his plate and turned to Laira. "Do you like Pencing?"

We were a bit confused. Until he made a stabbing motion with his toothpick and said it again, and we realized he meant fencing, and she told him she never had before. So he motioned to the toothpicks, and I really wished I got this on video, but he started to fence with her from the toothpicks and they each stabbed each other a couple of times. It was great to watch. By now, more food showed up, and I started talking to BJoo about his hair since its the chestnut brown color right now. We asked if he liked it when it was blonde and he said he did, and then he and I talked about blonde hair care products because I love stuff like that (for those of you curious, he had a purple shampoo that his stylist gave him). He said now that he's a little older he likes the more 'natural' colors, and he prefers it when its shorter than when it's long - he said he wants to be seen as more mature.

Around this time, he also turned to Laira (since he was right next to her and I was right across, he did a lot of talking to us), and goes "So, do you have husband?"

And, once again, bold and ballsy Laira goes, “No, would you like to be my husband?"

And he stared for just a beat before turning back to the cheese plate and going 'DELICIOUS' really loudly and shoving a bit of cheese into his mouth. Then everyone laughed and he got embarrassed, but laughed with - he was really funny about it, it was great. We asked him if he was ok or if we upset him with the joke and he said 'no its funny!', and laughed. I told him that was payback for making foreigners call Yano stupid.

That was around the time he switched seats (and by 'switched seats' I mean Hansol was screaming "BYUNGJOO" from the other table because he needed to move apparently), so he waved goodbye to us for now and wandered off.

Later on, we got to meet up and talk to him again, and I had earlier mentioned that we brought them gifts. We sought out BJoo to give him his mountain of presents. We had made each member a Valentine card (I didn't get any pictures before we gave them out, but I do have one of PGoon holding his), and a Valentine's bag of candy that we get from local candy shops near my house. BJoo also got a muscle tank top with a cat on it that says 'Yeah bro I lift' - so yes, those pictures floating around of him in that shirt, I saw it, and Laira bought it for him. He put it on immediately and wore it for the rest of the event. She also got him a Spirited Away lanyard and Haku neck pillow since he likes Miyazaki things, and some One Punch man stickers since he likes OPM. We sat and talked about OPM with him for a sec (he was stoked over the Saitama sticker). We also got him a few more shirts with cats on them, one said 'Hug Life' since it reminded us of one of the 'Thug Life' shirts that he has.

When they were doing the certificate ceremony and 'thanks for coming' speech, BJoo spent most of his time playing with the candles. He and Hojoon kept blowing them out and relighting them, until PGoon threatened them with our present. (and even then, BJoo only stopped for a few minutes before he was back at it again).

He was extremely fun to take pictures with and talk to, and I adore BJoo. He's the sunshine child of the group imo

#BJoo #Topp Dogg #ToppKlass #I put it under a read more because we talked with him for so long

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tigren · 7 years

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im going to do the 30 day neopet challenge but im going to do it in one post under a readmore bc i will almost certainly forget it within the first week if i do it the proper way, i don’t think anyone is going to care about my responses in particular and i don’t want to spam people daily, and most importantly: im super bored right now

Day 01: When did you start playing Neopets and how old is your current account?

my first account got purged but i saved the date that i created it. i had my 14 year neopets anniversary last month WOW!!! my current account will turn 11 in may.

Day 02: How did you find out about Neopets?

i think my brother made a neopets account when he was like 10ish, he didn’t get super into it but my dad also made an account and got really involved with the site!! i was like 6 or 7 and i just really liked poogle solitaire (rip). i don’t think i actually knew how to play but it amused me and my dad let me continue playing because he got stuff for it. but eventually i guess he got sick of me being on my account and made one for me. my first username was bleubaby_72, which is named after a doll i had as a much younger child (Blue Baby, misspelled) and i don’t think the 72 means anything. my first pet was a yellow aisha whose name i don’t remember... my dream pet was a desert aisha (would still die for a UC desert aisha, i wouldn’t say theyre my fave but THE SENTIMENTAL VALUE.......)

Day 03: Favourite Neopets species?

i love boris! and yurbles recently shot up my list of fave pets, but i don’t like a lot of their colors. i generally prefer neopets that are mammalian (but not as a rule necessarily) and have features of real animals but can’t necessarily be pinpointed as a certain real species. like, aishas and wockies are cats, gelerts and lupes are dogs, grarrls are tyrannosaurus rex, elephantes are duh. and thats fine and good i still like a lot of those species! but yurbles for example have that hedgehog/bear thing going on but they also have their weird spiral ears and neck ruff. and thats my favorite thing.

i also really like unis because i’ve been a horse girl since childhood n never grew out of it, and they have great colors. and aishas were my first fave and will always be one of my favorites. so i can appreciate pets that can more easily be represented by 1 animal.

Day 04: How many pets do you own and which is your favourite?

ummmmmm 14 i think? there might be a few other pets rotting on sides that i kinda forgot about, i’m too lazy to check. Abbur is my favorite, he’s my pink bori baby boy and i just care about him with all my heart. i really like his customization and none of my pets have any real “stories” or anything but most of them have vague personalities and histories and his is more developed than any of my other pets. Alabryss is another fave, i’ve had him for FOREVER and he’s always been a uni but he’s gone thru a billion color changes. he’s royal now and will almost definitely be royal for the rest of his life. his name is a misspelling of the petpet Alabriss (i think i made him 1 day after they were released) which i didn’t totally do on purpose.. like obviously i got the name from the petpet but i didn’t realize until a while later that i had subconsciously used it. anyway i’m not complaining, i still love him and he has an alabriss petpet named yuni

Day 05: Favourite Paint Brush colour?

OHH HBOY that’s hard!!! off the top of my head w/o looking through colors or anything i like royal and desert bc they’re generally more Elaborate w/ the clothes options and stuff. but i also have a big appreciation for cheap colors like cloud and ghost.. they look good on almost every pet imo. i like starry a lot too, big obnoxious iconic neopets stars. i especially like when starry pets have orange accents.

Day 06: Favourite Labray only colour?

is robot labray only? robot is cool. i guess there’s the robot zapper thing from the dr sloth plot forever ago but does that count?? i think chocolate would be my next choice. i can’t even remember all the labray only colors

Day 07: Favourite Petpet species?

this is so hard!!! i’ve always loved petpets SOO much. i’ve recently started to have a big appreciation for the super like.. generic, classic petpets.. like the kinds youd find in the neopia central petpet shop. they have a certain charm to them and i love them. i’ve always liked crokabeks a lot, theyre sooooo square shaped!! square crows! gruslen & doglefox were my faves as a kid.

Day 08: Favourite Petpet colour?

birthday is rly cute

Day 09: Favourite Petpetpet species?

uhhhhh i don’t know all the petpetpets and never had THAT much of an interest in them. what’s the one that looks like a praying mantis??? i’ve always liked those

ok wait i just looked up a list and petpetpets can be p cute actually. i still like the praying mantis dude, moach, but i also love: cooty, fleaf, lightmite, and zytch. i don’t tend to like art of petpetpets in games and stuff but they’re cute in their regular images.. theyre so small......

Day 10: Favorite Neopian world?

UHHHHHHH since i was a kid i’ve always liked: faerieland, lost desert, and mystery island.

Day 11: Which team do you pick for the Altador Cup and why?

always darigan citadel. i don’t really know why i picked it my first year... i was never like an Edgy Goth Kid or anything. they got 2nd place the first year and i thought that was awesome, and i had also gotten involved with a really fun DC chat group so i joined them again the next year. then they won and that was awesome!! other people in the chat group started joining other teams and there was no reason it needed to be a DC only group (it was called the 30 trillionaires... our “goal” every year was to collectively make it to 30 trillion goals during the season. which is impossible but idk that was what made it kind of fun i guess.. it was just casual yooyuball grinding and chatting with friends lol) so i wasn’t “stuck” with the team but even after they stopped doing so well i stuck with them out of loyalty. i used to be SUPER into the altador cup but i lost touch w/ the chat group and never got into it again

Day 12: Favourite Avatar?

ANOTHER HARD QUESTION!! i’ve always LOVED the bon appetite kelp one.. which i still don’t have. generally i prefer the “older” style of avatars where they were simpler, mostly animated but in a simple way and a lot of the time w/ pixel art elements. i feel like a lot of newer avatars have a way heavier focus on animation, like theyre just lil gifs, they lost a lot of that simplicity. i also tend to be biased toward avatars that have odd shapes rather than just being squares. like gloomy and jazzmosis and taelia. even the circle ones that still have regular borders are pleasing to me

Day 13: Which chat boards do you usually chat in?

i don’t use the boards much... i lurk newbie chat a lot and sometimes try to get involved and talk w/ people but i never keep it up. i was an avatar chat girl as a kid and that’s still the place i feel the most comfortable i guess.

Day 14: Are you in a guild?

nope! i LOOOOOVED guilds and 10 year old me would be so upset to find out that i’m not involved in the Guild Life anyway. imo it’d be really cool if guilds got a rehaul.

Day 15: Favourite Faerie?

mira is my girl.. i like the battle faerie a lot too but i can’t remember her name.

Day 16: Do you have a gallery and does it have a theme?

i have one created but i don’t even know what’s in there, i don’t pay much attention to it. i think i just have a few plushies and petpets and random items i thought were cute or charming. i like the idea of one day having a guild with a cool theme.

Day 17: Do you use the Battledome?

not really. i have my dad’s old account now with a super super powerful battle pet (he was Famous in the BD and i think for a while his pet was one of the most powerful pets on the whole site) so i guess i should take advantage of that but i don’t

Day 18: Do you use the NC Mall?

nah... i use the free NC when i get it, usually. i think i have some accrued on a few different accounts that i just don’t use. it’s kind of a pain in the ass to worry about NC items in customizations on diff side accounts.

Day 19: Favourite shop to shop at?

i rarely even look at neopets shops lol. when i was younger i really liked the faerieland petpet shop. that’s all i got for u

Day 20: Favourite game?

i feel obligated to say spinacles bc it’s my blog title but i don’t even like spinacles, i’m just good at it and there were a good few months when i got a good number of people who aren’t normally super into neopets obsessed w/ beating my score and it Amused me. i’m not even like a spinacles Master but i do know how to get gold Very easily. anyway uhhh i think let it slide is fun and i’m fairly good at it but i hate playing it for np because it feels like it takes forever and it gets boring. i feel the same way about assignment 51 which i also like the Aesthetic of a lot. i have a love/hate relationship with ultimate bullseye II

Day 21: How many items are currently in your Safety Deposit Box?

Items: 1,900 | Qty: 2,828

Day 22: Whats the most amount of Neopoints you’ve ever had at one time?

i hit 8mil recently and then spent some of it on a royal pb. i had planned on going for 10mil before spending any (so i can get that sweet bank account upgrade) but i got impatient.

Day 23: Do you use the Stock Market?

occasionally. i don’t check it every day but i have a decent portfolio

Day 24: Favourite Daily (ex. Coltzan’s Shrine, Tombola, etc.)?

i kinda like the discarded blue grundo plushie or w/e in faerieland. i don’t know his whole stupid name but i remember when he was just a tiny pixel in faerieland that didn’t do anything, so it’s cute that he’s a daily now and gets visited by people more often.

Day 25: Do you decorate your Neohome(s)?

not at all

Day 26: What is a Paint Brush colour TNT should release next?

honestly why dont they just make pet pb colors out of colors that are currently petpet exclusive? birthday and valentine? fuckin.. picnic might be harder to execute but it’s out there and it’s a fun one.

Day 27: Favourite hero? Favourite Villian?

i’m not as educated about neopets lore as i’d like to be i think..... i like nabile, shes a hero right?? and i’ve always like balthazar. he’s a piece of shit.

Day 28: Favourite plot or site event?

my biggest regret is not being more involved in plots as a kid :( i read the comics but didnt participate. i really liked the LDP comic and wish i’d been part of the actual puzzles and stuff.

Day 29: Are there certain items you collect?

i kind of collect cute petpets, i love them and don’t usually get rid of them once i acquire them. same with cute plushies. also i like the poorly drawn items from the “artists day off” days, smelly jelly is one of my faves i think

Day 30: Why do you like Neopets?

there’s... so much to do!!!! like yeah the site is dying and jumpstart is digging its own grave and sooo many parts of the site are dead or broken or whatever but there’s still just, always a new goal to strive toward and a new thing to get into and i think that’s cool.

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