#i just loved everything about the episode
Text
episode five: the flayed
Slowly Steve aims away, the sound trickling against another wall now, and you share a disgusted look with Robin. With a sigh, she squeezes your hand. “If we make it out of here alive, I promise I’ll throw you the best birthday party ever.”
“I don’t know, I think Steve peeing five feet away from me will be pretty hard to beat.”
Summary: you have the worst birthday of your life, you almost strangle steve with your bare hands and then later get snot all over him, erica is your savior, dustin is doing his best, robin starts to suspect things, and the russians have opened a gate to the upside down. its all pretty miserable tbh. but hey ! at least steve won a fight !
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence, cursing
Words: 7.2k
Before you swing in: hi loves !! chapter five we get some more insight into bug and her very anxious mind. shes just a stressed out gal. bless her. anyways, bug aside im so so so excited to get to chapter 6. i have so many plans for her <3 but !!! for now pls enjoy chapter 5 and more chaotic steve n bug ;)
-
Everyone is screaming as you all fall.
You lost your stomach about a hundred feet ago.
Steve clings onto you, his chest sturdy behind you as your arms tighten around the kids. Their screams are deafening; you know that you’re screaming too, but the pounding in your head rings in your ears and drowns out their fear.
“We’re going down!” Steve screeches, arms now even tighter around you as he braces his back against the wall.
“No shit Harrington!” Robin is on the opposite wall.
Your nails dig into Steve’s arms, both from panic and from anger. “I fucking told you!”
As you scream at the teen, Erica and Dustin pry apart from you and run over to the vault’s buttons. They begin to argue, the rush of the room’s falling almost makes it hard to hear what they’re saying, but you know they’re freaking out just like everyone else.
“Push the button!” You hear Erica yell at your brother, and he turns to her with pure melodrama to screech back at her, “What do you think I’m doing?”
Steve pulls you further into his chest as he screams at the kids. “Press something! Just press the button!”
It’s a mess, the room fills with more screaming as everyone argues and pushes against one another in futile attempts to prevent the vault from plummeting even further. Your nails dig further into Steve’s arms and you close your eyes, too numb with fear to do anything else.
Then, suddenly, everything stops.
The room comes to a halt, you’re no longer plummeting to imminent death, and everyone crashes against the wall or ground while a giant box lands on you and Steve.
He takes the brunt of the damage, the box having fallen from behind him, but the impact is enough to send you crashing to the ground with your elbow catching against the side of the shelf the box had come from. Groaning, your knee shoves into Steve’s body, causing him to wheeze in pain. “My groin, you’re on my groin.”
You ignore him and get up, not offering your hand to him, and make sure Dustin and everyone else is okay. Seeing your stoic manner, Steve groans. “A little help here, anyone?”
Again you ignore him and make your way further into the room and stand there, slowly coming to the realization of what’s happened. Your limbs feel heavy, your head is pounding, and you’re locked in an apparent elevator made by Russians after falling hundreds of feet below Starcourt.
“Is everyone okay?” Robin hesitantly asks after Dustin has helped Steve up from the ground.
“Fine,” you rasp out, body still in shock.
Steve’s body is in its own state of shock as he starts to freak out yet again. “Yeah, I’m great, now that I know that Russians can’t design elevators!”
He shoves past Dustin and starts to jab at the buttons once more, but it’s no use. Robin tries to stop him, but Steve continues to press the buttons repeatedly anyways. He’s frantic, his eyes wide an wild with fear, and you stand in the corner as watch as he starts to realize himself just how fucked the five of you are in the current situation.
After days of ignoring the possible danger, it’s now glaring in his face, and Steve becomes even more frantic when he notices that you’re still standing behind everyone, silent.
He’s fucked up.
“It’s an electronic lock.” Robin starts to explain, and you listen silently. “Same as the loading dock door. If we don’t have a keycard, it won’t operate, meaning–”
“We’re stuck in here.” Dustin announces, already having figured it out himself.
The pounding in your head intensifies at your brother’s words as fear claws its way into your throat. You’ve spent the last two days pleading with everyone to listen to you, to be cautious and not go in over your heads about the Russians, and yet here you are: locked in a fucking elevator with Steve looking at you with utter guilt.
You had been right the entire time.
And yet no one bothered to believe you.
As Erica announces to the group that if she isn’t back by uncle Jack’s party tomorrow then her mom will ransack the town to find her and Steve yells at her about how he doesn’t care about the party if you all end up dead in the Russian elevator, a defeated and deranged laugh begins to swell from your chest before it forms into complete hysterics.
The laughs fall from your mouth in a frantic manner, and everyone slowly turns to look at you. Erica doesn’t understand what’s going on, though Steve, Dustin, and Robin share horrified looks; they all know that you’ve officially crossed the line that separates anger from insanity.
“Dead in a Russian elevator, huh?” You manage to bitterly spit out in between bouts of laughter. There are tears in your eyes, though no one is sure if they’re from laughing or anger or despair. “God, Harrington, you really fucked up.”
You’re practically wheezing now from laughing so hard, hunched over as the action takes over your entire body. You had been right, and yet you’re now stuck in an elevator with Lucas’ little sister and your own brother, responsible for their lives even though you’ve never asked to be. Ever.
Steve tugs at his hair, just as overwhelmed as you are. He’s terrified of what he’s dragged you into, and he’s even more terrified that he was the asshole who refused to listen to you. Defensive, he throws his hands up in the air in defeat. “Why would you even listen to me? I mean, I’ve never been right a day in my life!”
“Oh, so this is all my fault?” Your body manages to move towards him, now standing toe to toe as you sneer in his face.
The laughter is now gone.
“You’re the one who let me continue this stupid Russian adventure–”
“I begged you to listen to me, but you refused to!”
Steve lets out his own deranged laugh. “How was I supposed to know we’d end up in a goddamn elevator of death?”
“God, how hard is it for you to admit that I was right?” Your fists shake as they clench against your side, your voice is raw from screaming. “Would it fucking kill you to admit that maybe I’m not just some pathetic people pleaser and that I actually know what I’m talking about–”
“Guys!” Dustin shoves the two of you apart, afraid that you’ll tear Steve’s eyes out any second. He points up, gathering everyone’s attention again, and reveals an opening in the elevator’s ceiling. “What if we climbed out?”
Hope sparks in your chest when you see the opening and you’re the first to shove past Steve and the others and start climbing up the boxes to get to it. Dustin follows, then Steve, and when the three of you climb up and out of the elevator, the small spark of hope in your chest quickly vanishes when you look up and see the hundreds of feet the elevator has fallen.
“What were you saying about climbing?” Steve’s voice echoes off of the walls surrounding the elevator. They’re smooth, pure metal and infrastructure, and you swallow down tears.
There’s no way any of you can possibly climb up them. You’re stuck.
Admittedly, Dustin handles this realization a lot better than you do. He immediately starts to come up with another plan, he has his radio, he can call for help, and as he comes up with new ways to reignite the hope with Steve, you wordlessly descend back down into the elevator. You don’t spare the two boys another glance as you leave, too emotionally exhausted and still shaking from the waves of guilt and anxiety that plague you.
After you’ve silently left, Dustin turns to Steve. He feels just as awful as the teen, they both failed to listen to you, and now they’re left with your stoic anger that leaves them both feeling raw. “We fucked up, man.”
“She needs us right now,” Steve claps his hand against the boy’s back, his words strong but voice frail. “Let’s go.”
They climb back down into the elevator as well and find you, Robin, and Erica all sitting against the walls, silent. You must’ve already told the girls what the three of you found above. There’s nothing you guys can do now besides wait for whatever comes next, even Dustin can recognize that.
Your knees are drawn into your chest, your chin rests against them as you sit alone at one wall, and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen you so small before. Sighing, he looks at Dustin, who gives him a nod to wish him luck, before he makes his way over to you and sits down. You don’t react to Steve’s presence besides allowing your head to fall against his shoulder, and it’s enough to calm the relentless remorse he feels within him.
No one speaks for a while.
The hours pass, the room silent as you all realize what the fuck you’ve gotten yourselves into.
–
You’re not sure how much time passes by, the walls within the elevator block out all possible sunlight, but eventually you figure it’s well into the night. After the initial shock had worn off, Dustin, Robin, and Erica had sat closer together and tried distracting themselves with sleep while you sat against the wall with Steve; your head never leaves his shoulder, and neither of you talk.
However, by what you figure is hour five, you desperately need air. You can’t sleep, the walls have started to close in around you once more, so you stand up, side step your sleeping brother, and climb up to the top of the elevator once more.
Steve follows you; he always follows.
He finds you sitting at the edge of the elevator, feet dangling over the ledge with your shoulders drawn in. Slowly he approaches you and sits down next to you, shoulder to shoulder, thigh pressed against thigh. You don’t say anything, and Steve again feels horrible for not listening to you earlier; he knows that for once it has to be him that is strong enough for the two of you.
“Talk to me,” Steve breathes out, pleading. It’s just you and him now, one one else, away from prying eyes. You’re safe with him, you will always be safe with him, but he needs to hear your voice and bring color back to your cheeks. “Please.”
Hearing the desperation in his voice, knowing that Steve has never once meant you any harm, that he’s just as scared and alone as you are, you finally break.
You throw yourself into Steve’s arms and sob. The tears come all at once, there is no build up. The moment you are in his embrace, the moment your ear presses against his chest and you hear his heartbeat, the tears come.
“I hate that I always end up here,” you cry into his chest, all that you’ve swallowed down now comes spiraling out of you. “I’m just–I’m so fucking frustrated. I–I keep doing this to Dustin, he’s always in danger because of me.”
Your voice hitches as your breath stutters. There’s more that you want to say, the guilt that has haunted you since Will biked home that fateful night swells within you, but your tears prevent you from voicing any of it. “I–I’m supposed to keep everyone safe but–God, it’s hard when no one listens to me. No one ever listens to me.”
You were supposed to listen to me.
Though you don’t say it, Steve hears it anyway.
He’s silent through it all, frightened and aching, knowing you keep so much within you. Steve has never seen you cry before, he’s never seen you break like this, and he despises himself for being the reason why.
Another miserable sob escapes you and all Steve can do is pull you in closer, furious at the world for the fact that he cannot fit you into his chest where he can keep you safe behind his ribcage, next to his heart.
You cling onto Steve and allow the last few years you’ve carried on your shoulders to finally crush you. “I just feel so useless–how can I…” you sniffle, try to steady your breathing as the words on your tongue terrify you. “How–how can I love if I can’t–I have to protect everyone.”
Your voice breaks once more and Steve allows you to take all the time you need. He continues to hold you through it, he presses soft kisses to your face, lips wet from your tears, he plays with your hair, he does whatever he can to engrave his apology into your body.
“I’m so stupid,” you pull away now, the tears slowing and embarrassment creeping through. You’re overwhelmed with your debilitating need to protect the ones you love, as if you cannot love someone if you cannot save them, and you know it’s stupid and immature to believe such things. As the exhaustion sinks into your body, you realize with a start what day has creeped upon you while in the elevator.
It’s July third.
With Steve looking down at you with a sinful guilt in his eyes, you wipe your own eyes and laugh pathetically at your realization. “This entire situation is stupid. It’s my seventeenth birthday and I’m stuck in a fucking death elevator.”
Steve’s arms tighten around you and he draws in a quick breath at your words. It’s your birthday. He had thought he couldn’t feel worse about what he dragged you into, but he had been wrong. You should be in your room right now, tucked away from danger, celebrating the first moments of your birthday with Steve crawling through your window with the gift he worked so hard to convince the party to help with.
Instead, you’re crying in Steve’s arms with imminent death looming over you because of him, and he thinks he’s never felt tears as heavy as yours.
“I’m sorry,” he gently lifts your chin with the same finger that has caressed your face a million times. The soft gesture makes you weak, and when your eyes meet Steve’s, he brings his lips down upon your forehead. He lingers, his lips are rough but familiar, and there’s more he wants to say. The words build within him, all the apologies, but he knows they’d fall on deaf ears. You’re exhausted, you’ve revealed more to him tonight than you ever have before, and he knows the vulnerability stabs at you viciously,
Instead, Steve kisses your cheek next, then your other cheek, then the tip of your nose, your chin, your eyebrows, anywhere his lips can reach, and the action causes a small giggle to blossom within you. Hearing the sound he loves so much, Steve smiles. “Happy birthday, angel.”
Your hand comes up to his face, and though a part of you warms at what Steve has said, another part of you aches. Jonathan has always been the first person to wish you a happy birthday, a tradition from when you were kids and snuck into each other’s windows the second the clock struck midnight. Now Jonathan is gone and Nancy is angry and you’re tired of it all. With a bittersweet smile, you cup Steve’s cheek in the palm of your hand. “Thank you, honey.”
The world stills between the two of you for a brief moment, his face in your hand and your heart in his arms. It’s reminiscent of earlier in the breakroom, the uncertainty that drapes over you and Steve while the certainty secures you both to each other.
It isn’t perfect, Steve’s uncertainty has hurt you, but he holds you with a certainty that makes you believe that somehow the two of you will make it out of this alive, together. He nuzzles his face into your palm as if he physically needs to be closer to you, and it settles something that stirs in your chest.
Exhaling, you rest your head in the crook of Steve’s neck and curl into him. He pulls you in closer, as he’s always done, and eventually you fall asleep, exhausted from everything.
Steve isn’t sure how long you sleep in his arms, his muscles ache from holding you, but he accepts the burn as punishment for the hurt he’s caused you. He sits there, staring at the metal walls, and falls asleep himself.
–
You wake up to Dustin trying to contact someone on his radio. His annoyingly loud voice causes you to groan in annoyance, you’re warm, comfortable, and had been dreaming about something that left your chest feeling light.
“Code red, I repeat, code red. Does anyone copy?”
Rolling over, a pair of arms hold you near a sturdy body, and you remember now that you fell asleep in Steve’s arms. Burying your face deeper into his chest, you groan again. “Make him shut up.”
“Good morning to you too, Y/N.” Dustin kicks your sneaker before going back to his radio. “This is a code red, I repeat, a code red. Does anyone copy?”
Steve sighs, sounding just as tired as you feel. “The kid has been at this for the last hour or so. Woke me up, too.”
You hear Dustin’s footsteps as he paces. “We are innocent children and we are trapped under Starcourt Mall. The Red Army has infiltrated Hawkins.”
“‘The Red Army’ is dramatic.” You mumble, still mourning that you’ve been woken up.
Dustin ignores you. “If we are found, they will torture and kill us.”
“How peachy.”
Steve snaps his fingers at your brother, motioning for him to shut up. “Hey, you gotta take it easy on that thing. Gonna drain the battery.”
“That’s what we’re worried about right now?”
“Go back to sleep, Y/N.” Dustin kicks your sneaker again with a scoff. “The mall just opened, so someone could be in range.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “What, you think Petey the Mall Cop is gonna rappel down here and save the day?”
You give a thumbs up to what the teen has just said. “‘Rappel’, good word choice there.”
“Alright, why are you two such cranky pants after getting to spend the night together?” Dustin asks, off put by your snarkiness. He knows you’ve never really been a morning person, but your face is still buried in Steve’s chest and you haven’t looked at Dustin since waking up.
“Shut up, Dustin.” You and Steve say at the same time, both too drained to entertain his usual teasing.
Your brother sighs and changes the subject. “I heard you guys talking all night, did you at least figure out a way out of here?”
You shift in Steve’s arms, now uncomfortable. Neither of you had talked about what to do next, for once you had been selfish and put yourself first, allowing yourself to cry. Sensing the brewing guilt, Steve covers for you both. “No, we’re still exactly nowhere, which is, ya know, probably just a little bit of the reason why we’re feeling just a tad cranky.”
“What he said,” you hide a smile in Steve’s chest, but he feels it anyways.
Then, because he’s Steve and is physically incapable of allowing you a moment of peace, he taps your shoulder. “Hey, uh. Not to ruin this, but can you get up so I can pee?”
“Here?” You and Dustin exclaim in unison, both of you equally disgusted.
“Well where else am I supposed to go?”
“Ugh,” you wrinkle your nose and get up, hating that Steve has a point. However, rather than stay and watch the guy pee, you decide to leave and check up on Erica and Robin. You’ve been up here long enough, anyways. “Keep your body fluids away from me.”
As you climb down, you hear Steve screaming at Dustin to turn away as your brother wishes you a happy birthday.
They’re such idiots sometimes.
“Did I just hear Dustin screech about someone’s birthday?” Robin asks you as you jump down the last box and join her side. She’s in front of the elevator’s panel, inspecting the buttons.
You wince, not liking the reminder of what today is. “It’s… my birthday.”
Robin gasps and grabs at your hand. “Is it actually? Oh my God–” She’s cut off by the sound of liquid splattering against a wall, and with horror the two of you realize that it’s Steve’s piss. Making a face, the girl calls out, “Can you redirect your stream, please?”
Slowly Steve aims away, the sound trickling against another wall now, and you share a disgusted look with Robin. With a sigh, she squeezes your hand. “If we make it out of here alive, I promise I’ll throw you the best birthday party ever.”
“I don’t know, I think Steve peeing five feet away from me will be pretty hard to beat.”
Robin laughs and you feel okay for a moment, enjoying the small respite, before the sound of glass banging against metal catches your attention. Turning around, you find Erica slamming one of the vials of liquid against the bars, and immediately you and Robin run to stop her.
“Hey, be careful!” Robin snatches the cylinder from the girl and tosses it to you for safekeeping. “We don’t even know what that is.”
“Exactly, it could be useful.” Erica argues.
You hold the vial up high so that she can’t reach; you know the Sinclairs, they’re speedy little devils. “Please elaborate.”
“We can survive down here a long time without food,” Erica jumps and tries to grab what you’ve taken, but you only hold the liquid further out of her reach. “But if the human body doesn’t get water, it will die.”
You’re momentarily impressed by the girl’s survival knowledge, but Robin is undeterred. “I hate to break it to you, but this is not water.”
“No, but it’s a liquid, and if it comes down to me drinking that shit or dying of thirst, I drink.”
“You are fascinating,” you breathe out, both terrified and in awe. As you stare at Erica in wonder, Robin seems to hear something and leaves your side to press her ear against the opposite wall. Frowning, you join her. “What is it?”
“Listen.”
You do as you’re told and press your own ear against the wall, and it only takes you a second to hear it too. Mechanical whirling, the same sound that you heard last night before all the walls in the elevator came crashing down and trapped you. “Shit.”
Robin nods grimly. “You get Erica while I warn the boys.”
Within a minute you’ve helped Erica climb the top of the elevator as you all hide up there. No sooner than when you’ve closed the roof’s opening, one side of the metal wall begins to open and the footsteps of men can be heard.
Through the grates, you and Steve hunch over as you watch two men walk into the elevator. They’re big, dressed in a bizarre uniform, and one of them is smoking. They talk about something, their words are terse, and for a moment you worry they’ve figured out that you’re hidden above, but eventually they grab a few boxes and make their way outside.
As the men move back and forth below you, grabbing more and more boxes, you look up at Steve and find him staring at the green liquid you still have in your hands. During the frantic rush to get Erica to safety, you had forgotten to set the chemicals down. His eyes narrow slightly, as if asking you if you’re thinking what he is, and distantly you remember how much force the cylinder seemed to be able to withstand when Erica was slamming it.
If you truly are on the same page as Steve, then it’s a fucking risky plan, but it’s the only chance you have.
You hand the vial to him and nod, silently urging him to be safe. Then, you turn to the others and risk whispering what you and Steve have thought of. He keeps watch, hand on the small of your back to indicate to you when to stop talking, and soon the plan is formed.
The moment the Russian men have left the elevator, Steve quickly jumps down from the roof and slides the chemicals underneath the rapidly closing door. You watch nervously, and when the cylinder miraculously holds up against the metal door, you exhale in relief. Steve waves for you and everyone else to jump down as well. “Let’s go!”
You jump down first and slide Erica’s backpack over to Steve before helping her down. Once she successfully slides under the door, you help Dustin down next. The glass starts to splinter under the pressure, the sound of it creaking fills you with dread, but you push the fear down and help Robin next. “Go, go, go!”
When it’s your turn, you hold your breath and will yourself to slide underneath the door to join the others. As you go under, you see the glass start to splinter even more, and you quickly roll onto your stomach and frantically wave at Steve. “Steve, you need to hurry!”
He scrambles underneath the door and only just manages to narrowly escape as the door comes slamming down. Steve instinctively covers you with his body as the glass from the vial shatters, and when you look up and see the green liquid now sizzling as it burns through the concrete floor, you shudder. “You guys see that too, right?”
“Jesus Christ.” Steve stands up and offers you his hand as he inspects the liquid’s damage.
Erica, Robin, and Dustin step forward now too, and the five of you peer over the liquid as it oozes and bubbles, melting everything it touches. You shudder again, you can’t believe that there were boxes full of it surrounding you earlier.
“You still wanna drink that?” Robin turns Erica, smirking.
“You guys think it’d be like drinking lava?” You ask the group, and everyone shakes their heads at you. Adrenaline is still coursing through you, your head feels woozy from lack of sleep and water, and you think you’re slowly losing your mind.
Meanwhile Dustin turns away from you, and when he sees what surrounds you all, his heart drops. “Holy mother of God.”
Turning around, your heart drops as well. There’s a giant hallway that faces you, blue lights illuminating it, and it stretches deep into the abyss. You realize, now, that the elevator had been only the beginning. As you stare down the endless hallway, its length reminiscent of the tunnels you almost died in last year, it hits you that you’ve truly stumbled upon something horrible.
The Russians have been here a long, long time if they were able to build such a vast and complex underground facility.
And now you’re trapped within it, with nothing but your knives to keep you and everyone else safe.
“Well, hope you guys are in good shape.” Steve’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. He pats Dustin’s shoulder and starts to lead the way. “Looking at you, roast beef.”
Unamused with the insult directed at your brother and still angry at the teen for dragging you into this mess in the first place, you trip Steve. He stumbles and only just barely manages to catch himself, which everyone snickers at and Dustin high fives you.
With a sigh, Steve grabs your hand and beckons for everyone to follow. “Let’s go, guys.”
–
It’s a goddamn long walk.
You’re miserable.
It’s hot, you’re covered in sweat and grime, you're starving, and this is officially the worst birthday ever. Sure, you’ve never really liked your birthday, but holy fuck you didn’t think it’d be this bad.
You’re snappier than usual with everyone, which a part of you feels guilty for. Robin tried making conversation in the beginning, but you only responded with curt, one word answers. It truly isn’t her fault, none of this is anyone’s fault, but the anger that simmers within you threatens to boil over and you’re too tired to control it.
Yet Steve keeps your hand within his and walks by your side, unaffected by your unusual anger. He lets you remain quiet, he doesn’t take offense to your terse responses, and he smiles apologetically at Robin for you because he knows you’d do the same if you were able to; he’s there for you.
Steve knows how much anger resides within you, and he helps you brave it.
You love him endlessly for it.
“You think they built this whole mall so they could transport that green poison?” Steve asks the group as they speculate about why the Russians even built this underground system in the first place.
“I very seriously doubt it’s something as boring as poison.” Dustin responds, and you scoff at him.
“Yeah, because poison is boring.”
He looks at you warily and decides not to risk further exasperation. “What I mean is, it’s gotta be much more valuable, like promethium or something.”
“What the hell is promethium?” Steve looks to you, but you only shake your head. Dustin’s the science whiz, not you.
Instead Robin answers him, though her response about some guy named Victor Stone and a cyborg only confuses both you and Steve more.
“You’re all so nerdy, it makes me physically ill.” Erica cringes with disgust, and her theatrics are hard to resist smiling at.
“No, no.” Steve interjects. “No, don’t lump me in with them. I’m not a nerd, alright?”
“Why so sensitive, Harrington?” Robin asks him, smiling at his offense. “Afraid of losing cool points to a ten year old child?”
“He takes his cool points very seriously, Robin.” You now speak up, a slight smile on your face. You’ll never pass up an opportunity to tease Steve. Nudging him with your shoulder, you laugh softly and glance up at him. “Admit it, you’re a nerd.”
If it were anyone else saying this, Steve would adamantly refuse such a notion, but it’s you and you’re finally smiling at him again, so instead he huffs with amusement. “Yeah, alright. Maybe I am, but I still don’t know jack shit about Prometheus.”
“Promethium,” Dustin corrects. “Prometheus is a Greek mythological figure, but whatever. All I’m saying is, it’s probably being used to make something.”
“Or power something?” In their eerie fashion, Robin and your brother now seem to once again be on the same page.
“Like a nuclear weapon?”
“Totally.”
You rub the temples of your head and sigh, your previously brightened mood quickly dims again. “Cool. Nuclear weapons are cool.”
Robin mumbles a quick sorry to you, she wishes she could change the topic, but there’s a question that’s been on her mind ever since you discovered the Russians. “But if they’re building something, why here? I mean, Hawkins. Seriously, of all places.”
As Robin continues to drone on about how bizarre of a choice Hawkins is, you, Steve, and Dustin all slow down and let her and Erica walk ahead. They don’t notice your guys’ sudden change of pace, and the three of you slowly come together; you know you’re all thinking the same thing.
The question has been on your mind for a while, too.
“You think the Russians know?” Dustin finally asks in a lowered voice.
Steve leans forward, his own voice lowered as well. “About–”
“They could.”
“So it’s all connected?”
While the boys whisper to one another, you feel a shiver run through you. Again you remember the sweat that had been on Billy’s brow and how pale he had been. You remember Will’s fearfulness at Weathertop hill, how he had clutched the back of his neck. You remember Mrs. Waters, Jonathan and Nancy, Mrs. Driscoll.
Something isn’t right, and now there’s Russians in Hawkins with a giant maze of high architectural design.
“It has to be.” You say now. “There’s too much to ignore. “
Dustin frowns at you. “What do you mean? Is there something else?”
“The Upside Down, I think there’s something wrong–”
You’re interrupted by Robin. “I’m sorry, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
The three of you turn to her, wide eyed and caught, and before you can come up with some excuse to get her off your backs’, Dustin’s radio comes to life as a Russian man’s voice speaks through it.
“Walkie,” you, Steve, and Dustin say at the same time, running towards where it resides in Erica’s backpack.
The Russian continues to drone through the walkie’s speakers as Dustin takes it out and Robin extends its antenna. She brings it close to her ear and listens intently, and after a few seconds she starts to speak the language as well, echoing what the man is saying. “It’s the code,” she finally says.
“Wherever that broadcast is coming from–”
“It’s close.” Robin finishes your brother’s sentence. “And if there’s one thing we know about that signal…”
Dustin’s eyes light up. “It can reach the surface.”
“We’ll be able to call for help,” you breathe out, hopeful yet reluctant. It’s your only way out, but you also have no idea what lies within these walls.
“Let’s go!” Robin quickly stands up, plan already formed in her head, and all you can do is follow.
It doesn’t take long to figure out where the broadcast is coming from. Within a few minutes of walking, the walls begin to narrow and you hear more and more voices up ahead. You can sense that you’re drawing closer to the main area of the underground complex, and the closer you get, the tighter you clutch at your knives.
You and Steve work together on guiding everyone. He scouts for places to hide while you keep an eye out for any danger. Slowly, the six of you dodge and weave in and out from corners, avoiding Russians. In an odd sense, the routine is familiar and comforting; you and Steve have done this a million times before, the two of you know how to keep the other safe.
As Steve peers over a corner with the rest of you hiding behind him, Robin whispers into your ear. “How are the two of you so good at navigating scary dangerous situations?”
Her question is innocent enough, but you can sense that she’s piecing things together bit by bit. You try to keep your face neutral, not give anything away, and shrug at her. “We make a good team, I guess.”
Robin gags at this, which you’re thankful for. At least your response got her mind off of things.
Steve motions for everyone to follow after him once the coast is clear after a few guards have walked past. “Clear, come on, let’s go.”
He moves swiftly as you stay behind and make sure the rest of the group follows. Robin looks nervously at you, feeling vulnerable out in the open. “Okay, that was close.”
“Too close.” Dustin breathes out as he follows her, which you roll your eyes at. You and Steve are doing the best that you can, given the circumstances. If your brother wanted to worry about safety, he should’ve considered it twenty hours ago.
“Relax,” Steve reassures everyone. “Nobody saw…” His voice trails off as he rounds the corner.
Your jaw drops. It’s worse than you could’ve ever imagined.
In front of you is what you can only imagine is the main hub of the complex. There’s Russians everywhere, some dressed in guard uniforms carrying shotguns, some dressed in lab coats, and others look like glorified red astronauts.
You’re hopelessly outnumbered, there’s too many of them.
Steve curses and ducks down, pulling everyone with him as he hides behind a cart against the wall. You try to steady your breathing, you grip the back of Dustin’s shirt tightly in your hand. He looks at you in shock. “Red Dawn.”
“Not now,” you close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. “I’m trying really hard not to lose yesterday’s lunch.”
“I saw it. First floor, northwest.” Erica urgently whispers to Steve.
“Saw what?”
“The comms room.”
You whip your head around to face the girl, making your nausea even worse, and Steve can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You saw the comms room?”
“Correct!” Erica leans closer now, the insistence in her voice unwavering.
Dustin frowns. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” this is the most sincere you’ve ever seen Erica. “The door was open for a second, and I saw a bunch of lights and machines and shit in there.”
“That could be a hundred different things.” Dustin says, skeptical.
However, you believe Erica. She’s incredibly pragmatic, she wouldn’t blindly say something that she didn’t believe in. She’s a Sinclair, their morals define them, and Erica’s rant about capitalism and a free market system yesterday only solidifies your theory that she hides away most of her intelligence. “If Erica thinks she saw the comms room, then I believe her.”
She smiles at you gratefully, and Robin nods her head at the two of you. “If Y/N is on board, then I’ll take those odds.”
Steve stares at you, studies your face and your demeanor, and when he sees the set clench of your jaw and the determination in your eyes, he knows he trusts whatever call you make. He pokes his head out from behind the cart, the five of you mimic him, and even though you’re firm in your stance to follow Erica’s gut, it still strikes terror within you when you see once again how many guards there are.
Sighing tiredly, Steve faces the group. “We’re gonna move fast, we’re gonna stay low. Okay?”
You nod at him. “Good luck.”
Steve smiles at you, nerves now calmed, and starts to guide everyone. He masterfully weaves in and out corners, ducks behind carts when someone walks past, and for a brief moment you’re in awe of him. He’s grown so much since that night at Jonathan’s, when he had run away the second things got too intense, and now he’s the one leading.
When he opens the door to the comms room, you’re almost overwhelmed with how proud you are of Steve. Then, naturally, as soon as everyone is inside, you turn around and come face to face with a very confused Russian guard.
And Steve has locked you in a room with him.
Everyone freezes, unsure what to do.
“Nice, Steve.” You sneer at him.
He looks at you incredulously. “Is now really the time?”
As you mock Steve, the Russian guard starts to reach for the gun at his side. Seeing this, you whip your knives out and display them to the man, the blades glint in the room’s red light. He narrows his eyes at you and tightens his grip on his own weapon, and for a moment you fear that you really will have to use your switchblade.
However, Robin is quick on her feet and puts her hand up to lower your knives. She starts speaking Russian in hopes of calming the guard down, and it seems to work at first, but when the guard starts speaking back to her, Robin’s plan quickly crumbles; it’s painfully obvious that she doesn’t speak the language.
The guard reaches for his gun once more, and before you can use your knives, Steve lets out a loud yell and throws himself at the guy, taking him by surprise.
“Steve!” You find yourself screaming, it’s instinctual.
For a moment all you can do is stand there and watch, stunned. The two men begin to fight, fists hitting skin as they shove one another, and you have just enough awareness to keep your knives raised in case you need to step in and help. You know Steve’s track record, yet as the fight progresses, you become less and less fearful for him. He’s holding his own surprisingly well.
Steve jabs his elbow into the guard’s stomach before grabbing a nearby intercom phone and slams it into the guy’s head. He falls, hard, onto the electric panel and hits the side of his head against it even harder.
The moment he lands on the ground, the Russian guard is out cold.
Panting, Steve stands over him and fixes his hair. You and Dustin exchange surprised looks, both of you ecstatic; Steve won.
“Dude!” Dustin exclaims with glee in his voice. “You won a fight!”
“It’s a miracle,” you breathe out in awe, now at Steve’s side as you check for any injuries. He preens at your attention, his eyes glow, and you can’t help but kiss his check. “Good job, honey.”
“Okay, okay, break it up.” Dustin shoves you away from Steve and then crouches next to the guard’s body, unhooking the keys from his belt loop. You roll your eyes at him while Erica questions what he’s doing. Over his shoulder, he responds, “Getting us our ticket out of here.”
Erica scoffs. “You want to walk all the way back?”
“Well, we can hang out for a little bit, relax, have a picnic maybe.”
“Have a picnic? We came here for the radio.”
The kids start to argue, but you don’t intervene. Instead, you fix Steve’s hair with your fingers and gently grab his face, moving it around to make sure he isn’t hurt. His skin is still smooth, untouched. “No bruises this time.”
He winks. “Gotta keep this face pretty for you, don’t I?”
“Yeah you do,” you pinch his cheek, laughing softly. “It’s your only redeeming quality.”
“Hey now–”
Robin suddenly appears, looking panicked. You quickly let go of Steve’s face and walk towards her, now noticing the staircase that she’s just come from. There’s blue light at the top, there’s an energy to it that makes you uneasy, yet it’s familiar.
“What is it?” You ask her, fearing that you already know.
“There’s something up there.”
You follow her up the stairs, and your heart drops at what you see. Steve sucks in a breath, his hand on your back.
There’s a room at the top of the stairs, similar to the one below, and there are several men sitting at control panels. Before them is a giant machine, its circular panel spins as it shoots a beam of light into what you can only describe as an open wound within the wall. It’s narrow, long in length, as orange light spills from it.
When Steve’s eyes meet yours, you both know.
It’s the gate.
The Russians have found the gate into the Upside Down.
Anger courses through you, and this anger is a familiar one. It’s the same anger you felt the day Will went missing, when El sacrificed her life to save everyone, when the men at Hawkins Lab continuously got away with ruining the lives of everyone you love.
After everything you, the kids, and everyone else went through to close the gate, it enrages you to see these fucking idiots trying to reopen it. You had almost died last year trying to end this bullshit, but now you see it had been for nothing.
The side of your ribcage burns, the scar reignited by your fury, and Steve feels your body tense against his. His eyes meet yours again, and without saying anything, you know he understands.
Nodding, the two of you are in agreement.
You have to stop this.
-
⌑ series masterlist
⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)
⌑ taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @thytorturedpoet @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery @bex22109 @officerrrfriendly @kazunish @idkitsem @emilieluckwood @ryoujoking @criesinlies @tagakalat @dcnerd98 @sucker-4-angst @kitdjarin1 @onecojg @innazra @areiofhope @spaghetittied @cultish-corner @g8sstuff @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @moonpascal @l0ve-0f-my-life @newyorkangelbaby @aliceespector @chervbs @poppet055 @bookkeeperlove @bellenotthebeast @swiftieblyth @ladyobscurus @moon-flowerrs @estaticheart @dreamingofts18 @lanxsee @thecapricunt1616 @aheadfullofsteverogers @marvel-and-music @angie2274 @thescoopstroopers @xuimhao @rh1nestonecowg1rl @shelby-ren @carinacassiopeiae @eddiemunson-86-baby @ribbetzetoad @harryssideboobz @cherrycherry19 @mamamakaylamorgan23 @slttygeto @alltoomay @hiraethavis @torntaltos @eeniemeenie @latenightreadingpdf @gayandfairycore @aliceespector @l0ca1ax010t1 @whosyourgnomie
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#nya#m's writing#steve and bug are really going through it this chapter#but happy birfday bug !!!
268 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Acolyte's first two episodes were a mixed bag imo. The scenery and costumes and fight sequences are absolutely gorgeous, the show is visually stunning and feels a lot like Andor did, but there's something missing in the heart of this show.
The entire first episode, with every reference and familiar point, I just felt like this was a show where someone had read a Wookiepedia article, rather than that they were actually that familiar with Star Wars. I'm not sure I could put my finger on everything why, it wasn't just one thing, but the worst thing for me was the way Vernestra was written. Nothing of her scenes felt like herself from the books, despite that, yes, she's reserved and a little uptight in the books, there was a warmth to her that barely came through here, she was very focused on how the Jedi would look politically or how they needed to discuss things instead of acting on the information they had--neither of those are bad things! She's not wrong! She just doesn't feel like Vernestra.
The second episode was a lot better, when Sol and Mae had their conversation about her grief and he urged her to let it go, because what she wanted was revenge, and look what revenge had done to Mae, that felt like, yes, this scene nailed it! This scene understood the assignment.
Sol is a great character so far, Osha is a great character so far, I'm vaguely intrigued by the mystery they're setting up about what happened 16 years ago, and while I wouldn't say it's a must-see series, you're fine to skip it so far, but I liked it well enough. It was fun to see Jedi in live action looking like they came straight out of the Clone Wars, just with fancier clothes, and I love that the Jedi are allowed different personalities and I like all of them. Sol is fantastic. Osha loves the Jedi, even after she left them. Indara was hot as all get out and went down like a Jedi badass, by saving someone. Jecki is pure delight. Yord is an uptight disaster whom I love, he's wound pretty tight but when push came to shove, he stood up for defending what was right, when he could plainly see Osha was innocent.
The makeup is a mixed bag--Vernestra looks like she spent an hour in the makeup chair, meanwhile Jecki's Theelin makeup looked gorgeous. Some of the Jedi robes look a little stiff, a hint of high end cosplay to them, but Indara's looked great.
So, watch it if that's you're interested in! I thought it was fun, visually stunning but lacking some heart in the opening episode, it leans a little fanon more than canon, but not intolerably so (some off-kilter but not horrible use of The Attachment Discourse), and I don't think it'll set Star Wars on fire or anything, but it's a fine addition to the collection.
195 notes
·
View notes
Note
why do you think bucktommy has been "hitting differently"? i love them don't get me wrong, but i don't think it's been written much differently than buck's previous love interests (yet)
Hi anon,
I don't think I agree with you there. Well, first of all I think talking about all of Buck's previous romantic relationships as one thing is doing injustice to those different arcs and Buck's character journey. All served different purposes, all were written differently from each other. When I make the distinction that BuckTommy has been "hitting differently" what I mean is that it has what worked in those previous relationships as well as what was lacking. And I think the reason is twofold: the writers being intentional with their choices and how it's all been executed.
Intention:
Just to be clear, I don't mean anyone has had endgame BuckTommy intentions. Tim has been very clear about how he doesn't plan that far ahead and it's hard to talk endgames with a procedural format like this. But we know they wrote the bi Buck arc with more care, hence being more intentional with their choices than some of his previous relationships. We know that their first kiss had taken multiple shapes before it ended up being this gentle, surprising but still mutual kiss. We know that they wanted to create a story where Buck felt connected to this guy but also safe and light. We know that they wanted to make Tommy a character who can be understanding and lead Buck as he stumbles. We know that Tim thought Lou's buy was important because he didn't want to repeat the same mistake of creating a LI who didn't fit with the rest of the cast etc.
Now you can say some of these fit previous LIs one way or another but it brings me to execution:
Many people talked about this before me, obviously, but I think the execution of everything they planned with Tommy has been great. I mean before their first kiss, this guy goes out of his way and shows up at Buck's to "clean the air" with this virtual stranger because he believes he caused bad blood between him and his friend. Not just that, he reassures Buck about his place in his friend's life and apologizes for making him feel excluded. Now as the audience we know Buck is the kid who'd get hurt on purpose so his dad would pay him attention, he's the guy who sued the fire department because he felt pushed out and isolated, but Tommy doesn't. I think an LI addressing one of Buck's core insecurities in such a direct and reassuring manner before even knowing him is a great way to set up why Buck would feel safe with and understood by him.
Another is that Tommy immediately meets Buck at that vulnerable place when he admits to being jealous of the 118's bond and Buck reassures him back. This for example, is something Abby had done with Buck imo but Buck back then didn't know himself enough to embrace his own insecurities and at a maturity level to address Abby's despite his best intentions. With Taylor, their whole issue was that they couldn't be honest and vulnerable with each other. BuckTommy in this aspect feels different because from the get-go as they're being honest and are on the same frequency when it comes to this.
Episode five, we see them on their failing date, then we see Buck being nervous that he fucked it up in the coffee scene. We've seen this Buck before, when he got into that anxious mode to make sure Abby knew he wasn't cheating on her. Obviously, the context and the stage of the relationship are very different and they both reassure Buck about it not being his fault. Great on both Tommy and Abby.
But then, the immediate follow-up in Abby's case is that she's leaving for abroad. I don't think Abby is being evil or mean with this decision (where I have a problem with is when she starts ghosting him and doesn't just end it, but that's another topic) but again knowing what we know about Buck as the audience, we know this is a big deal. We know this - and later Ali leaving - adds on his issues of feeling like he's not worth it, we know it leads to him basically trapping Taylor because he's so afraid she'll leave. Again, Tommy doesn't. But Tommy gives him a second chance and then shows up at the wedding.
You can say showing up on one date is not proof that Tommy will always be there for Buck, but I think the execution is so good in painting Tommy as very reliable concerning this. Because Tommy doesn't just show up. If the writers' only concern was to write Tommy out of the A plot of episode 6, he could just come to the ceremony and be like "my shift just ended". No, Tommy says he'll try his damnest to make it to the wedding and then he enters the hospital all rushed, haphazard, covered in soot, hair a mess. The dramatique of that entrance immediately validates in the audiences' mind that yeah this is a guy who will do his damnest to be there for Buck. It, again, addresses a core insecurity of Buck's.
Back half of the season doesn't do anything different but we again see Tommy notice Buck's emotional state, meet him in that vulnerable place, and also match his flirty vibe. They're comfortable; it feels earned even in such a short span because of the well execution of their initial arc. This to me what Buck said about Natalia when they thought the show wasn't coming back (and before that relationship was recontextualized as being a dud), about how he feels seen and comfortable etc. Only this time, there's intention, effort, and execution.
One final note in execution - and this is very ymmv because I've seen even from some BuckTommys that they wished they did this differently - I genuinely love how little BuckTommy there is in 7x03. More specifically, I love that Tommy's reintroduction to the series is not through being Buck's potential love interest. He's there in that episode for Hen, Chim, and Bobby. In 10 mins screentime he's quickly established with motives and personality quirks, is involved in the main plot, bounces off of other characters. Again, great execution of a thing Tim intended to do: a love interest who can fill more roles than just the love interest. This basically makes him in his own category in how purposeful and functional he can be as a character in the greater narrative. So yeah I think both as a person in-story and a character, Tommy has been hitting different.
#very long answer lol couldnt stop yapping about tommy sorry my bad#mimi talks#bucktommy#911#tevan#kinley#also ill get to all the other asks i promise
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
I will spend my life making it up to you
OKAY. The thoughts I've had since that new teaser last night.
More than one person has called what happens between Louis and Armand in 2.04 a "dynamic shift." This wouldn't be that important if all they meant was that the two of them formed a cathartic new BDSM roleplay (which Jacob has alluded to, for sure, and on rewatch, you very much see it in the "You summoned me?"/"I felt your panic" exchange). If that was all it was, Assad wouldn't be calling it "the tipping point" of the season.
So what does it mean?
I think it means we've been reading this entire relationship wrong this whole time.
Book/movie spoilers ahead.
What we've seen: Armand does everything. He seems to be the gatekeeper to everything. He's the only one who can reach the bookshelves on the ceiling. He controls the lights and the windows. Louis asks him for the missing pages of Claudia's diaries. He lingers nearby during the interview, always ready to jump in if they venture near a subject that could be upsetting for Louis. With every new piece of information, confirmation bias has worked toward this idea that Armand is pulling all the strings.
Then Hannah Moscovitch said something in the Autumn Brown interview: that Armand wouldn't do something without Louis' permission because he is entirely Louis' creature. This seemed contradictory.
Jacob said Louis had become "the Lestat" of the Loumand relationship.
We had yesterday's episode's "dynamic shift."
Then last night, we got a new teaser where Armand and Louis have the following exchange:
Armand: I will spend my life making it up to you.
Louis: You'll never make it up to me.
Armand: I know.
My immediate thought was, naturally, that they are talking about Claudia's death. Look, if Armand can put the coven to sleep in an instant, he could have done it again long enough for Claudia to escape. He could have prevented it. He knows it, both in the book and in the show. And in the books, he is miserable about it. Louis notes how much so when they talk about it.
Later, we find out the real reason for Armand's extreme guilt. While he says he didn't plot to kill her, he admits to something even worse: he cut off Claudia's head and sewed it to an adult vampiress' body to give her a woman's body for once before her execution. He didn't do it out of charity, mind you--he just wanted to see what would happen. He says he's been haunted by it ever since, even having nightmares. Yes, Armand did something so horrible he traumatized himself.
Now, whether they include this experiment on the show (it would have to get past the network), I think simply failing to save Claudia is a good enough reason for this exchange in the teaser to take place.
And now, I'm looking at all those signs of Armand's controlling nature with new eyes.
See, Armand in the books can be controlling, but there's no evidence he ever is so with Louis. In fact, he's almost the opposite with Louis as he is with Daniel. Part of it is guilt, and part of it is desperation for love. After the vaguest of hints from the writers, people assumed their relationship on the show would be more regimental.
But I thought of the moment where Louis has Armand open his umbrella for him and light his cigarette, even going so far as to throw away his own lighter. And all those signs of control are starting to look like acts of servitude.
Bookshelves on the ceiling: any time Louis wants a book, Armand has to go fetch it for him. He can't get exasperated and tell him to get it for himself.
Turning lights and UV filters on and off: menial tasks demeaning to a partner rather than household staff.
Arranging for the missing pages of Claudia's diaries: Notice he doesn't say no, and in fact looks very nervous when asked. His only objection is that there is stuff about him on those pages he doesn't want made public, and he still agrees to it. It's like he is Louis' personal secretary.
Then there's the scene from last episode where the photos are mixed up. As soon as Armand clocks that Louis is accusing him of mixing things up on purpose, he starts stimming. He knows an argument he wants to avoid is coming, so he immediately tries to throw Rashid under the bus. Later, Louis is yelling at him for "embarrassing" him in front of Daniel, which is one of those textbook accusations toxic people use.
I think Louis is making Armand make it up to him.
There's something else Louis says: he accuses Armand of thinking he needs to be coddled. As if Armand pathologically placating him has been a thing in the past.
I want to be clear: this is not a "poor Armand" post. I think when the audience knows the full story, they will feel Armand got off easy. Because he did. I'd be tempted to do the same in Louis' shoes (but ultimately wouldn't want to see his face, so I don't think I'd go through with it). One of the reasons Armand is staying is because he knows he's getting off easy. If you tell me you would blame Louis for treating Armand this way, I wouldn't believe you. Armand deserves love, but he doesn't deserve to get it from Louis (I still ship it tho, I ship everything).
Now, there's no indication that Armand is afraid of Louis hurting him. The fact of him being stressed out about an incoming argument, and changing his behavior to avoid it, isn't the best sign--toxic partners will often use this tactic to gain capitulation--but by no means is this anywhere near his worst relationship.
It would all make his actions make much more sense: he's this jumpy about Daniel's intervention because his relationship with Louis is permanently on thin ice. He doesn't desire control over Louis for its own sake--that's not really an Armand thing, as much as people attribute it to him--he just wants to keep this man from ruining years of his hard work and effort put into this partnership. It's a sunk cost fallacy.
#armand#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv spoilers#louis de pointe du lac#tvc book spoilers
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
Worship - An Emily Prentiss x reader fic
I think I’ve used this photo before, I just love it so much.
I think I’m slowly improving my writing skills(?) but anyway, I hope you enjoy!
Kinda smutty if you squint, nothing too sexual happens just some biting 😋 and making out.
Pls enjoy!
*—*—*—*—*
It’s a calm Saturday afternoon and luckily there aren’t any emergent cases open with the BAU. You and Emily decide to watch a few episode of a tv show you’re both watching before she goes home. You can tell Emily is enjoying it as her eyes are fixed forward, her lips turning upwards when something funny happens. Your eyes however, are fixed on her. You try to watch the show, you really do, but there’s something about her that pulls you in.
You love it when she tucks her hair behind her ears, just like it is now, showing her full side profile. God she’s so sexy. You say to yourself, biting your lip. Even now as she rests her elbows on her legs, all you can think about is straddling her and showing her just how much you worship everything about her.
You move your hand up and stroke the hair behind her ear, earning a smile from Emily. ‘You know I can’t concentrate when you do that.’ She smiles at you. ‘I’m sorry, love. I’ll stop. Carry on as you were.’ You tell her, trying your best to stop the blush rising in your cheeks. Emily looks back to the tv, taking your hand in hers.
A few minutes go by of trying to focus on the tv show at hand, but as always, your mind drifts back to her. The way her eyelashes are curled naturally makes her eyes sparkle in just the right way. Her nose, although she doesn’t love it herself, is one of your favourite features. Her lips are so kissable, so beautiful it takes your breath away. The shape, the colour, the texture all ingrained into your memory.
All of the time spent worshipping Emily finally got to you, you couldn’t help yourself. You find yourself sitting up and moving to straddle Emily, holding her face in your hands. ‘Oh- uh, are you okay love?’ Her expression filled with equal parts surprise and confusion. You nod, looking down to her lips then back to her eyes. Ah Emily starts to understand what’s happening and smiles. Not just any smile. The kind of smile of someone who wants to devour the other, which, the feeling was mutual.
As you both lean forward and kiss, the whole world comes to a stop. Her lips on yours is something you can never get used to, both of your bodies seem to fit together. You slowly move your lips further down, from her jawline to her neck. Kissing slowly and gently until the idea to bite her come into play. Your eyes light up with lust and as your thought becomes reality, a moan escapes Emily’s lips. Fuck. That moan spurs you on as you become more passionate by the second. You make your way up to her ear, nibbling and sucking her lobe before moaning in her ear. ‘You make such pretty sounds.’ Those words light a fire in Emily, causing her to move her hand into your hair and pull. Your mouth flies open and a gasp escapes, sending Emily into a frenzy as her mouth crashes into yours, your tongues fighting for dominance.
You part for a moment before asking, ‘did you want to stay the night?’ She bites her lip. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’
#bau#criminal minds#emily prentiss#agent prentiss#criminal minds x reader#lesbian#emily prentiss criminal minds#emily prentiss fanfiction#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss x you
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guys, I truly do not get byler doubt over things like this. Some leaker said “Mike and Will do not have a romantic relationship in Stranger Things 5.” Okay, let’s look at that, because I know the tag will go into a frenzy anyway.
This guy has been right about Marvel leaks in the past. He has also been wrong. The vibe I get is that a lot of leakers build up credibility by saying things which are correct or easily predictable, meaning they have more leeway in the future to make things up for clout and still have people believe them. The byler plot is very contentious and is guaranteed to get attention if you post anything about it, so I don’t really believe people who are being loud and open about it on twitter with broad, unspecific claims. A good example is the RejectedScooper guy, who had the Will’s love interest leak. He also made claims like “Will’s love interest is a boy” (duh), “the UD merged with Hawkins” (popular theory given that’s what the final s4 shot indicates), and “the military is still after El” (another popular theory). He makes believable claims that might end up being right, but that doesn’t mean he ever had inside knowledge. A lot of leakers are like this
The very phrasing of this is weird. Thanks @merth-or-nothin for pointing it out, but legit leakers will give information on what IS happening, not what isn’t, since they often lack context and filming isn’t even done, so there’s half a season missing. If byler truly wasn’t happening, they’d say “Mike and El are still together in episode 4,” or “Will meets a new boy.” They wouldn’t make a broad “this doesn’t happen” statement. They would provide a scene that DOES happen which leads them to that broader conclusion
I don’t have my own direct confirmation on this, but I’ve seen many people say that everything is extremely locked down this season, and that’s why it’s hard for people to get leaks. I think I even saw a screenshot where someone asked Noah on tik tok for a video on set and he said they’re being extra strict this season. There have been other claims, like cast and crew members getting redacted versions of the scripts that only contain their parts (standard practice in productions like this) people being instructed to leave the set as soon as their part is done, and the Duffers overall being very tight-lipped. Even Millie had to beg the writers to know what El’s ending is. The only people who know the ending of the byler plot are probably the main cast and writers, and high-up members of the production team. Their NDA’s must be so tight. I don’t see how some random leaker would have that info just because he had marvel leaks in the past. If I had info about a sensitive spoiler, I wouldn’t be yelling about it on twitter either. I’m not sure about how the legal process works here, but I feel like you’d get into some sort of strife.
I’ve seen byler-positive and byler-negative leaks. Chances are a lot of them are wrong. Maybe some are right. Who knows? They’re very contradictory, so I think the only conclusion I’m taking away from it is that people like the attention posting byler “spoilers” gets them, and no one has a straight story (no pun intended) regarding what is happening next season, so I’m likely to take most things as fake, especially broad claims like this one
#Byler#Feel free to reblog with other things#Also this just goes for all leaks lmao#positive or not#Byler or not
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jason todd x Reader- Depressive episode
thanks everyone for the compliments and encouraging words in my inbox....i really appreciate it.
The lights were dimmed, everything scattered and messy, just a small lamp on the otherside of the room and the curtains left open. Jason would have panicked..if not for the lump in the blacket and deep slow breathing from his side of the bed. His heart dropped as he realized.
Slowly approaching your side, his boots heavy as he approached you to make sure you were aware of his presence. Crouching down and pulling the blanket below your face he said softly "Hey sweetheart, I think you're on my side"
You wordlessly try to roll away to "your side" but he stops you. "I was kidding y/n, you know that baby"
"im sorry" you say quietly. Tears already forming in your eyes waiting to join the already present tear stains down your cheeks. "hey hey why are you apologizing? " Jason strokes your hair, noticing how tangled they've gotten. You must have been pulling at them.
"Cuz I smell, and you just came back from a mission and the house is a mess. A-and I'm a m-mess" you hiccup as the tears finally escape your eyes.
"None of that now y/n, you know I don't care about any of that stuff. I old care about you Let me help. "
"Nothing can help right now"
"Not even as bath? ill be in it too"
"i dont want to get up"
"Ill carry you "
You wordlessly nod before burrowing your face in the remanent smell of jason still lingering in his pillows while jason starts a bath, lights a few candles and a bath salt. Carrying you to the bathtub. je undresses while you feel something other than the suffocating sheets and your own misery. Settling himself behind you, he gently presses down on your shoulders. "Can you tell me what happened? or not if you don't want", His kind tone and affection was enough for the tear dam to break again. 'such big tears, cmon no y/n, why such big ones hm? you'll give the gotham rain a run for its money" you giggle out a chocked sob.
Jason understands, while his misery comes out in fits of anger yours was a silent killer. He understands , he understands well. And you know he is there, sitting silently behind you , holding you for as long as you need- for as long as he can.
(Im going through an absolutely horrible depressive episode. And its killing me. Writing this was tough on its own but its the first productive thing I've done in days. this was a small self indulgence. Its so funny- I'm a psychology student and I've dedicated my life helping those with mental health issues. After all the charity and the programs and shifts and the hospitals- who would've thought id be here, needing another version of me to come help me out of this. Ill get through it but I'm rlly grateful for all you who have been supporting me through this. Promise it wont last longer than a week. love ya)
#•#Jason Todd x Reader#Jason Todd x You#Jason Todd x Y/N#Jason Todd Fluff#Jason Todd Angst#Jason Todd Comfort#Jason Todd Headcanons#Jason Todd Imagines#Red Hood x Reader#Red Hood x You#Red Hood x Y/N#Red Hood Fluff#Red Hood Comfort#Batfamily#Batfamily x Reader#Batfamily Fluff#Batfamily x You#Batfamily x Y/N#Batfamily Headcanons#Batfamily Imagines#Batboys#Batboys x Reader#Batboys Fluff#Batboys Headcanons#Batboys Imagines
99 notes
·
View notes
Note
Have you ever thought about reporter!marc having his own podcast?? Like years after his falling out with Valentino he starts one with Alex, and it actually breaks out of the niche of motogp simply because it’s so well done. It becomes a staple in riders yearly marketing duties, with Marc asking insightful questions, maybe getting some acclaim outside the pieces he would write on Valentino. Like ppl who don’t even watch races will tune in to listen because it hits that sweet spot of expert explaining what they love with passion. The end game of all of this is of course the divorce episode, where by some power of god Valentino does an interview on the podcast. And, as has happened in real life, he is much more open and vulnerable on the podcast even though it’s marcs (especially because it’s marcs??)… it either starts them toward reconciliation or next level fame trauma or both :)
the thing about this au is that SHOULD initially be more resentful of each other— marc is a reporter prying at vale’s careful facade and vale is a representation of everything that marc wanted but never got. they each catch on the other’s most tender of issues and it SHOULDDDDD prevent them from falling in love crazystyle but unfortunately for them it does not. truly they are friendly they are yappers they are personable and marc has that same razor sharp but occasionally goofy gleam in his eye that vale does and an insane little face to boot. reallyyruly deeply they just have an instant and natural affinity for each other… UNFORTUNATELY for them, this also means that when the breakup happens it is just a bad if not WORSE than irl. just like it happens here, apply some pressure career-wise, and all of the reasons they SHOULD hate each other start to look a lot more viable… they do NOT forgive people fucking with their ability to succeed…
so. anyways your beautiful little scenario. it’s a few years post sepang and they have an overly professional but CLEARLY cold detente. still make each other hyena laugh occasionally in that deranged way that they do but after that it’s like. ignoring each other in presscons while marc asks increasingly insane questions about vale’s age with every new article…. marc (along with every other journo) has a podcast (i think he videos it so he has an excuse to throw on one of his slut turtlenecks) and its pretty successful because marc has this inherent ability to understand/create narrative in sport (usually he uses this power on himself but i for one would LOVE to see his hot takes on the others lol) which i DO think is literally the mark of a good sports journalist. they are paid to do rpf, in a way. BUT the most notable thing is the WAYYYYYY he talks about vale… incisive. oddly almost worshipful. frank. strange note of tension coloring his voice. funny. occasionally mean. sometimes he starts a story off about the two of them from when he was just starting his career with abject delight in every line of his posture before cutting himself off and changing the subject… and the thing is i DONT think he gets vale on the pod until post reconciliation and then he drops like. a two hour intimate interview of them cackling like LUNATICS out of genuinely fucking NOWHERE and every single listener in the world is like i thought they HATED EACH OTHER ?? an absolute BOMB in the motogp journo podcasting world
#marc writes vale’s biography it’s BONKERSSSS#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez#alex is still riding in this because if marc couldn’t tote his brother with him to every paddock on earth he would simply explode
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I was thinking about that passage where we hear about how Jiang Fengmian got so excited that Jiang Cheng was willing to be friends with Wei Wuxian that he hugged Wei Wuxian, and this broke 8-year-old Jiang Cheng's heart, because he loved to be held by his father, but his father almost never held him.
(Which led to Jiang Cheng kicking Wei Wuxian out and threatening to sic dogs on him, which made Wei Wuxian panic so badly he went and hid up a tree from these entirely hypothetical dogs, and Jiang Yanli went and found him, and then found Jiang Cheng in a hole and had to carry them both home, and their relationship was sealed by a mutual pact to hide the whole episode from both parents.)
Because the thing is, Jiang Cheng very much had something to be upset about! Wei Wuxian was a treasure and a joy to his father, something recovered beyond all hope, everything he could want in a disciple and the last remainder of the person or people he'd loved best.
And Jiang Cheng was a duty.
That was the entire reason for his existence: he was born out of his parents' obligation to produce a male heir for the Jiang.
Jiang Fengmian takes his duty seriously, but finds in it no joy, and that joylessness informed his relationship with his son at every turn.
And this is the same kind of tragedy as every other in this book. Because it's not that Jiang Cheng's father didn't love him, wasn't visibly fond of him; if there hadn't been this other person here he actually liked, the absence where he struggled to connect with him would have been felt, but it would have been less crushing.
...then, too, if his mother hadn't built that rivalry up the way she did, it would have hurt Jiang Cheng a lot less.
And been less of a thing! It's painfully obvious a lot of the aversion and distance between them is a product of Yu Ziyuan running in and screaming at her husband about how he's the worst and everything is about her at unpredictable intervals.
And of course, it's a lot harder to figure out how to compensate for your own partiality when you're also, simultaneously, trying to compensate for the partiality of another person who keeps insisting the only way to uphold the natural social order is to engage in systematic child abuse. The degree to which you cannot objectively handle a complex emotional situation while someone keeps yelling at you that you should do something morally repugnant or you're Bad cannot be overstated.
I really appreciate Yu Ziyuan as a character, but the heights of her incompetence and active malice as a parent are staggering.
But I was just reflecting on Jiang Fengmian's basic failure to grasp, right out the gate, that his eight year old was parched for affection and that giving more of it to someone else in front of him was going to hurt him. And I was like, haha that's only child behavior right there.
And then I was like. Holy shit. It is only child behavior! Like. Jiang Fengmian was an only child!
Like, duh, but that makes him a serious outlier! Most of the major characters in this story have siblings! It's an outrageously sibling-dynamic-driven book. Yu Ziyuan has at least two elder sisters, and could have any number of brothers or younger sisters--no shit she instinctively interpreted this situation through a lens of sibling rivalry!
Meanwhile that's going right over her husband's head because he's just like, okay going to vicariously live out my childhood fantasy where Changze got all the same advantages as me. 💖😊
#hoc est meum#jiang fengmian#jiang family values#i'm obsessed with them#mdzs#meta#i also think jfm's father was a cruel person#and a lot of his everything is reacting against that#but this is wholly speculative#it's just a common reason for someone to be avoidant in those specific ways#he and yzy are such a bad match rip
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys i love ep 3 an absurd amount. not only is the whole idea behind the loop absolutely horrifying, but its kinda the episode everything clicks and comes together.
like we learn so much and so much development happens. we learn a bit about what the process is behind taking cases. we see edwin's softer side when he tells niko she's fully allowed to stay behind. we finally see the cracks in charles mask, and we learn just what lurked beneath his false smile. we see crystal and edwin go from tolerating each other, barely at times, to actually working together and quite well. we see edwin express that he cares about crystal, from pulling her away from the wraith to telling her that her past doesn't define her, that shes a good person now and thats what matters. we see niko showing her true yet quiet bravery, charging into danger despite being incredibly afraid. we see crystal showing edwin exactly how charles hides his issues, birthing the charles rowland protection squad.
its when we see our group fit together and its honestly just beautiful.
#dead boy detectives#look i have a lot of feelings about this show#mostly about how its fucking perfect and i need to scream about it
47 notes
·
View notes
Note
As a close friend of Chinomiko, how does your conversations go when it’s about mcl new gen, I’m pretty curious 🤭🤭 Because she probably can’t you stuff, so when you talk about your theories about each episode, she just sits and listens? heheh I wouldn’t be able to be her friend, I would probably beg her to spoil me!!
Ahah funny you say that because it's kinda the opposite, she knows I don't want to be spoiled in any way when it comes to plot or illustrations so no I don't discuss theories with her at all, that's what the fandom is for. We have often worked side by side on our own things and I'm not even tempted to snoop, I want to enjoy the games.
Of course it would be disingenuous to say that we don't talk about the games at all. We chat a lot about the characters, their personalities, not only New Gen but all her characters and OCs (her elf thief Thael? You'll see, he's going to be my Lance 2.0 😭💕😭💕). We also read the same books and talk about romance in general, tropes, things that people like and don't like. I do bring a player perspective when we chat about possible themes, and of course not everyone has my tastes and I absolutely don't act as if I'm representing the whole fandom, but I've been playing for so long that I can give suggestions on things I know the majority of players would hate or like.
For example, people were super scared that one of the LIs could possibly cheat at some point in the game, and I know for sure this is never going to happen because we've talked about this kind of things a lot. She miiiight create drama and make the MC and players think this is happening, just because she likes to torture her characters (and us all), but it won't actually happen. So, I guess in a sense I do have a different perspective on things, just because I know her and her tastes and opinions.
About New Gen, I honestly know nothing about what's going to happen, other than the fact that we will have more personal interactions with Jason starting the next episode, and that the story in general is kinda light hearted, there isn't going to be any real drama or deep plot. We should see it more as a sitcom than a drama, if we compared it to a tv show. And that's pretty much it 🤔 I'm trying hard to think if there's anything else I know that you guys may not know by this point but I can't think of anything. I do know she's many episodes ahead, but this isn't a secret, it was said many times even when working on other games, that the Bees are always at least one year ahead of us, so everything we see was planned a while ago, they can't really incorporate current feedback.
Would you really ask to be spoiled anon? I know it's tempting but I want to be surprised while playing the game 😌 I need to slowly fall in love 💕
#also I don't ask but I do harass#cute harassment of course... about more hot Jason scenes 🤭🤭#mcl#my candy love#mcl new gen
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reading the script from 13x02 and it opens with Dean, Sam, and Jack in the Impala driving through the night and eventually stopping at a motel where Donatello catches up to them and reveals that yesterday he was "knocked off [his] feet by this weird wave of power" which was Jack's birth. We know Jack was born at night/early morning, and it's night/early morning again, which means it's literally been a mere 24 hrs at most since Cas died, and the drive that this episode opens with, yeah they're literally just leaving from burning Cas's body. Dean not being immediately warm and fuzzy toward Jack is so understandable, especially since they literally do not know anything about him, other than he's an incredibly powerful supernatural being that they spent all last season trying to stop from existing because of the potential threat his existence could cause on the world.
And the way s12 ends, Jack was positioned to be the next Big Bad from that cliffhanger.
(12x23 script)
Dean also believes Jack brainwashed Cas to get him on-side. He has no reason to trust Jack. And Sam is only really thinking about what Jack can do for him, aka get Mary back. So Sam immediately starts playing nice to get Jack on-side and willing to work with them. Sam also inserts himself into the situation, trying to force Dean and Jack to bond, and this happens again in 13x04 and both Dean and Jack express that they need time.
Dean might be harsh toward Jack and not have a Nice Tone when speaking to him in these early episodes, but he's being brutally honest about his feelings, instead of lying and pretending like Sam. Which Jack values Dean's honesty and is hurt by Sam's dishonesty when it comes to light.
The scripts also make a point to highlight how Jack is not a kid, he's in his twenties. And uses words like "demi-god" in later episodes to distinguish his status as an ultra-powerful supernatural being. Jack is naive and new to the world, sure, but he's not helpless and certainly not powerless. If we want to talk power imbalances than the true imbalance is not Mean Adult Dean not instantly loving Poor Baby Jack and it's not Mean Adult Dean shooting a gun at Literal Newborn Jack. This is a supernatural fantasy show, not a family drama. The genre is important. The true power imbalance here is mortal human man with zero powers vs supernatural being with immense powers. And moreso, a supernatural being with uncontrollable immense powers. They don't know what he could do! They have no way of stopping him if he decides to "go darkside" and just end the world! That's scary. And Sam even explains this to Jack, saying that Dean is scared of what Jack could do and it's their job to protect people, and that they may have to protect others "from you" (Jack). This scene is also another moment where Sam tries to convince Jack that he just needs to work on his powers and train to control them (and also so Sam can use Jack to get Mary back, his top priority).
Anyway, point is, Dean isn't wrong to be skeptical of Jack and on guard and keep him at a distance in those early days, and that's not even accounting for all the grief. It's literally been less than a day since Cas died and they lost Mary (and Crowley). He just burned Cas's body. So him talking about dealing with "the problem" and not immediately adopting Jack into the fold is a pretty normal response, given the context of everything.
I think often people also take the "widowers arc" John parallels too seriously. It's an interesting parallel but it's far from being a 1:1, the context are completely different. Yes, Dean just lost his love. Yes, Dean is now left with a "kid" in the wake of Cas's death. But Dean never claimed Jack as his own. Jack saying Cas is his "father" could be another manipulation tactic to ensure his survival for all Dean knows. Cas isn't there anymore to vouch for Jack, and even when he was there Dean was rightfully skeptical about Cas's sudden change of heart. A change of heart that suddenly had Cas believing in the possibility of "paradise" and "peace on earth" and fulfilling "destiny", all things that go against the core beliefs of Team Free Will who have been fighting for Freedom over Peace. So Dean has no connection to Jack and he doesn't trust Jack's alleged connection to Cas at this moment. He doesn't know Cas will come back. Cas's death felt permanent to Dean. He saw Cas's grace go out, saw his wings burn. He burned Cas's body. He prayed to Chuck and got no answer. There's no coming back in Dean's mind and he's dealing with all that intense grief while also having to contend with the potential threat of this supernatural being that has come into their lives and is literally a stranger to him.
Also Dean's "anger" and harshness, like I've said, is in part because he doesn't trust Jack and is putting up walls because he doesn't want to trust him and then get burned. Dean's always putting his heart into things, he always ends up caring, he can't help it. So in this case he's guarding his heart, he's leaning into his skepticism and suspicions. He's staying on the defensive. But also, anger is a normal and natural step in the grieving process. Yeah, Dean's immense grief over losing Cas, Mary, and even Crowley is not pretty. It's real though. And it's not an over-reaction. I think Dean is reacting the appropriate amount considering all they've lost. Sam under-reacting and dissociating and clinging to the hope of getting Mary back isn't the "baseline normal" emotional reaction. Sam is not coping well either. He's not coping at all, actually, and is instead refusing to really acknowledge these losses.
Anyway, I find many comparisons to John re: widower's arc leaving me cold these days, because they often disregard how completely different the contexts of the two situations are, and instead try to force-fit Dean and Jack into a John and his kids mold. Dean isn't becoming "the angry man of the house." He's grieving and he's skeptical of a near-stranger's intentions. Another way in which Dean and John differ greatly in their responses to grief is: John becomes consumed by revenge and springs into action (just like Sam when he lost Jess) but Dean? Dean shuts down. Dean loses hope. Dean ends up killing himself and wishing to stay dead. (Also, I know not everyone agrees with this interpretation, but: see Dean's response post-15x18. Jensen describes Dean's death as Dean being "tired" and letting go (sounds a whole lot like suicide to me). Dean always loses hope when Cas dies).
As the audience, we have the gift of omniscience and we are also able to look into the future now that the show is done. We know Jack doesn't become the second coming of Lucifer, but Dean doesn't know any of that at the time. Dean, in-world, is dealing with the very real possibility that Jack could become their next antagonist and all his actions in the early days following Jack's introduction are informed by that lingering threat.
48 notes
·
View notes
Note
I gotta say I'm shocked that people are saying Louis doesn't feel anything for Armand. That producer whos not Rolin Jones said Louis is falling in love with Armand while Lestat manfiests to pass judgment on him.
tbh i think there is an ambiguity which i mentioned before in my femme fatale post! femme fatales have historically been maligned for being evil manipulative heartless self-serving women often times bc they are subjugated by a powerful man and use the only power they have to achieve their aims. you can certainly interpret some of them as being completely unemotionally manipulative, they're just not the ones that interest me personally.
i think louis's motivations are complex because the situation demands it. he cannot just let himself fall head over heels in love with armand without caution bc in the previous episode armand nearly killed him and has the power to kill him & claudia at any given moment. in ep2 and for most of ep3, they clearly have a real connection and are falling for each other. like the flirtatious chemistry and lust are leaping off the screen idk i feel like you have to be blind not to recognize it but once we get to the end of ep3... the danger is now intermingled with the love/lust. they can no longer be ignored like when louis was still pretending his maker was bruce and everything was fine & dandy for him and claudia. once armand has that power over him, it makes the relationship murkier and murkier. you can't put the genie back in the bottle and revert to their "wholesome" dating phase. and the more dangerous the relationship is, the more it reminds him of lestat and all the red flags he's seeing again. i dont think its unintentional that dreamstat shows up in the bedroom when armand starts pressuring louis about companionship. cause lestat did the same thing to him in 1x01 when louis also wasn't ready (albeit in a very different way). in the museum, dreamstat shows up when armand is "apologizing" yet at the same time flexing his powers and going vintage lioncourt.
and it parallels the same consent questions btwn lestat and louis in s1 where they had a genuine courtship/romance but when push came to shove, the moment louis was forced to make the choice to actually be with lestat and accept his proposal, it was after a show of brutal violence and murder and lestat literally having killed the only friend louis had in the world. then he spends the rest of s1 wondering about paul as well. love & horror co-exist and the horror was for love. its been a very jessica chastain coded week.
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am All In Rewatch - Jess & Rory - Episode 2x21 (Part 4)
It was for me? It was It says everything about how she feels, about how they both feel about each other. I mean, he knows why, he wants to be sure, but she just she looked so smitten. It's like she's gone. I mean, she loves that guy. Do you see her face? -Scott
#i am all in#scott always gets it when it comes to literati#the man gets it#BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE!!!!#bawling my eyes out#this was the moment jess knew he had to come back#im not crying you are#sobbing#god#the looks#aww young love at its finest#cuties#literati#jess x rory#rory x jess#jess mariano#rory gilmore#love#milo ventimiglia#alexis bledel#gilmore girls#2x21
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alright. Because I’m thinking about Creep as a film series because they just announced more Creep in the form of THE CREEP TAPES (I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG… it’s not a movie but a TV SHOW!!!) I’m just gonna ramble a little bit about why those movies are so important to me.
First, though:
^ That’s my Creep tattoo. I got it over a year ago and show it off whenever I can.
So, onward.
I watched the first Creep movie for the first time during quarantine lockdown. It was like March of 2021? (Hold on, let me link the episode of my podcast for that.) (Yup. Don’t mind my pre-T voice.) That was like one of the loneliest times of my life. You know how it was, you were there, too. Fucking. Awful. I felt like there was just this bubble of sadness around me and nobody could get through to me. Sure, I had friends I could talk to over the internet, but that can only get you so far. Especially when they have their own lives and you can’t see them face to face.
One night, my two best college buddies and I decided we should watch it for our podcast. That was the one thing we could do that we could talk to each other consistently with, so we went for it. And, fuck. You can hear in that episode how freaked out that movie made us! We talk about human behaviors and the compulsion to kill and where that stems from, the relationship between politeness and gender roles, and lot of other related topics in that episode. It’s a smart film that knows how to suck you into the reality; you see these two men up close and personal, their odd behaviors, and the found footage formatting and intimate setting make you feel as though you are there witnessing all of this with them. As them. Those awkward moments make you cringe; watching Josef admit to stalking Aaron, catching Josef on the lies, tubby time. Oh, god, tubby time.
And then there was the ending. The moment where the camera is left in the car, you’re left in the car, and you just have to watch as Josef puts on the Peachfuzz wolf mask, flourishes his jacket, and buries that axe into Aaron’s head. The shot is static. It’s matter-of-fact, and that’s why it’s so horrifying. He’s dead. You followed this shy, awkward guy on his journey getting to know an oddball all the way to the lake, and he’s dead now. And then, the murderous oddball looks directly into the camera, and while he says Aaron’s name, he’s looking at you as he says, “That is why I love you. And that is why you will always be my favorite. Of them all.” Like he was thanking you for witnessing this event.
I felt like there was someone behind me for hours afterward. Josef had somehow gotten into my home. And that’s how it started.
Months later, we watched the second one. (Episode link here.) Of course we loved it. I loved it. It wasn’t as scary as the first one, but the intimacy and emotional connection was still there. That feeling of watching two people through their own eyes was still there. Only this time, they were trying to out-weird each other, or at least come together on a level they could both understand. The thing is, they were still misunderstanding each other. Sara is only comfortable with Josef’s Aaron’s freakiness because she thought he was lying to her when he wasn’t. The moment she starts to take it seriously is when she decides to leave, and that’s when Josef Aaron pulls out the lies and the deceit to bring her back in. And when she comes back in, that’s when she starts being genuine, letting her guard down, and that’s when she gets into trouble. She starts to believe in the watered-down version of Josef Aaron, seeing the front of softness as a vulnerability in him, and to a point, it is. But she totally disregards everything else that has happened during this day as some kind of ruse, when she should have kept those moments in mind. He’s still a killer, and dangerous, even if he plays it like he isn’t.
Sara ultimately pays the price for entertaining his whims. I guess Aaron did, too, but in a different way. While Aaron died and became a part of Josef, Sara now cannot get rid of him. He tries to kill her, and she runs, refusing his gift of death and absorption into himself, but now he follows her. She’s literally moved on, but like a ghost or a bad dog with attachment issues, he still follows her. He gave her his heart, after all.
And then I got to putting two and two together on why exactly all of this was appallingly appealing to me. I was alone. I was drifting further into this state of paradoxical nothing-pain. And suddenly, I was being welcomed into a dynamic in which I was wanted. It was an obsessive want, but I was wanted. He got me. They all did. Josef, Aaron, Sara. Suddenly I’m seeing aspects of my loneliness on screen. The slow reveal of the odd personality traits, the waiting to see the reaction. Pulling those traits back in when they’re not met with the tolerance I wish was there. The staying when I feel so uncomfortable because I want to understand. Upping the ante in an act of bonding. Feeling like I’ve found someone who’s on my wavelength, only to find they weren’t as okay with the whole me as I thought. The sudden urge to end it all. To kill the relationships. Move on, knowing they were dead, but I could still have the memories. They were getting distant. I could do it, you know. Just end it all right then.
Of course, I didn’t do that. But I felt it. I felt it a lot during that time.
I��ve not been super mentally healthy over my time being alive. I’ve been hospitalized for it. Not a fun experience, by the way. But that was another aspect that just drew me closer to Peachfuzz. He’s funny, and weird, and unstable. Always lying to appeal to the people around him because he wants them to stay, for sincere and sinister reasons. He’s terrible and lonely. I was terrible and lonely.
And there it was. Crystal clear. Los aguas milagros de corazón. I was taking comfort in a manifestation of something dark that I saw in myself. A mischievous, funny, isolated, totally fucked-in-the-head, murderous darkness. I wasn’t alone in that room anymore, and yeah, perhaps my company should’ve been something not so, well, creepy, but I thanked him for being there. I could put a face with the feeling, and the nothing-pain started going away.
He’s a friend of mine now. And I love him a lot.
32 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are you excited by the prospect of drawtectives season 3 soon. Bc ive been vibrating all day fhsjfhsjch
I'M SO EXCITED OH MY GOD. i know they've been sitting on the first few episodes for a little while and i've been biting things the whole time like PLEASE!! BRING MY CHILDREN BACK I MISS THEM TERRIBLY
(but also im glad they took so long because i want julia to protect her damn wrists)
for anyone reading this that fucks w drawfee but hasnt seen drawtectives yet, please watch the supercut they just released, it doesnt have any major spoilers and it's a great taster of just what's so good about the show, including but not limited to:
found family
a nonbinary character cracking their egg in real time
improv storytelling and worldbuilding+callbacks that resolve satisfyingly (in a way similar to a D&D show) but told in a unique way with VN-style sprites
bisexual panic
drawing challenges that are beautifully stupid (i feel like people can be intimidated by the show - or at least i was - bc it doesn't seem like drawtectives will be very drawfee but trust me the DNA is all there and it's less of a buy-in to start watching than you might think)
plot relevant cat
please it's everything good about d&d shows and drawfee rolled together and i love it so much please watch it please please please
If you watched the supercut and still aren't sure, please watch the ep they did with ProZD that genuinely nearly made me asphyxiate it was so funny and doesn't require any context going in.
oooooo you wanna 🅱eeze 🅱izza so bad ooooooo
#drawfee#drawtectives#hi beloved mutual sorry/you're welcome for the essay i needed to soapbox just in case#drawtectives deserves one million billion fans#I MISS THEM#im sure we will but i really hope we get eugene back this season too#my boy...#ask#momo talks
30 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
exceptionallysandwich
this name was a dissapointment
kissmemissme7
SweetAnnie
jarduino-ru
Уроки Ардуино
jarduino-ru
Уроки Ардуино
angelacd2
Untitled