#i just have a lot of emotions about this child
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All About The Trines. Pt. 2 The Moon's Delight
So heres pt.2 , all about the moon and the placements it forms a trine with. Enjoy !
Moon trine Saturn
Expressive authority traits. Can be open and transparent if they like you. But not so good with closed off people. The thing is, a moon/saturn placement can usually be the closed off person, but the trine makes them open up easily. This is because they're able to open up with themselves more often than others. The trine makes this individual easy going on the eyes, but they can be a bit more distant close by. It's a protective thing. There really good at letting you know how they're feeling without saying too much. Their witty if you pay close attention.
Another thing about this moon placement is that, there really good with people and taking on leadership roles. There especially good with children, and helping the emotional maturity thrive. They are excellent teachers and watchers of the environment. And there good at telling you about yourself especially if you're up to know good. The mother archetype is associated with moon/saturn peeps.
Moon trine Mars
Raw personas. They have a sexual nature to them that doesn't go unnoticed. Its like eros (asteroid) trine mars so to speak. They don't mean it all the time, it's just the way their vibe is. There vibe is very powerful as far as how they move. They can start an uproar just by their presence alone. It is there emotional upbringing that makes them form a confident aura. Most people with this placement had to prove their worth a lot, so as time went on they became confident in who they are and could boast about it a little. Not to much tho. Very organic when it comes to who they are and what they want. If they desire it, they'll find a way to get it.
Could be closed off to people they first meet, they'll open up if they can sense you're one of them. If not, they'll keep you close by but at a far enough distance so you don't know who they really are. Very interesting placement.
Moon trine Jupiter
Strong appetite with getting along with the unfamiliar. Loves knowledge and can potential seek out new information when the time is right. They have alot of information stored in them and they love to share it willingly and unwillingly. This trine is a natural force when it comes to the expression of their emotions. They use it to belt out what needs to be and this potential energy can push itself forward onto others giving people the healing that they need to get through the day. A very special aura connected to this placement holder.
Moon trine Mercury
Smooth talkers. An ability to belt out information and absorb others think pieces and milking it in a way that can become their own true thoughts. They're silly, sweet, and full of loving energy. Very child like when it comes to their inner nature, and very fun to have around too.Special personas with a knack for comedic thinking. There very food at easing the mind with their words, and can make you think of something you didn't have in mind at all. Could be very good at writing stories especially children's novels.
What they should do with this power is to make a difference with their words and be more comfortable with their speech. They should be more open with the people they meet because their sweet words can be a blessing. <3
Moon trine Venus
Wow. This placement is amazing to have and I call it a lucky placement. It has its ways with others that typically a sun/venus person couldn't do simply because the moon has a mystery in its aura that added with venus makes it move without missing a beat. The moon trine venus person has a gift in charisma that is connected to a part of their soul that can't be mimicked. Why do people like them so much? It's simply within them. Theres nothing they have to do to get people to like them, they just have to will their magic and boom, people are drown to them. Theres a magnetism with this placement that's unmatched with other venusians.
Moon trine Pluto
So this placement has a lot of potential at changing the way people feel. For better or worse, their gifted in the crafting of alchemy that their minds can shift into whatever it is they partake in. There emotional state is transfixed in whatever environment they are in, and how they move through those worlds they take something, or someone right along with them. Transformative auras, as they move through life, something changes them. And with each experiences, they can thrive to be better than the next. Opening doors for the next big thing, so they can heal themselves.. and others as well.
Moon trine Neptune
Beautiful spirits, they have a natural gift at letting go. The empathic qualities shows up here like no other. They are gifted in the arts so authentically that people think they just got it over night. Sweet babies that are filled with joy, the right people makes their souls spark. Giving them a chance to be more, to be higher than ever before. They are sensitive to noise, their ears are capable of receiving codes and information from the stars, guidance from the spiritual realm etc. It's a gift and a 'curse' if you will. But they got it going with the spiritual gifts, they know just what to do with them even if they don't.
Moon trine Uranus
Captivating in a way that shocks people and makes them feel deeper. They intrigue people with the way their emotions brings others to their knees. Most don't see a moon/uranus person coming and until they do, its like watching an alien. While everyone is stuck in the 2000s, their in 3008. They picked up on the cosmos long before they got here. They're just ready to make it back on home. Anywho, the person who has this trine placement is usually unique, has a gift in electrifying the world around them, and just knows things out of 'thin air' per-say. Just knowing one, you can feel the vibration they carry is totally newer than the average human. I'm joking. Their truly unique and something about you just stands out in a way that people can't figure out, but its truly internal and comes from the inner world.
Moon trine Rahu (North node)
Power meets dungeon. Dungeon meets power. The dragon wants its way out, but will you let it? With rahu, the emotions have a tempting fire, ready to burst through the cages and run as free is it can. You have a knack in vibrating high on a cloud and bringing us to the sanctuary we see for our own divinity. Mystical in nature, you're talents are embedded in the soul and must be tamed to prime perfection.
Moon trine Ketu (South node)
Gifted ability in the community and working with others. Has a knack for playfulness and a childlike aura already adapted in them. They naturally are equipped at making people wonder. Moon trine the south node shows a need for spirituality and can probably be a detached person already. They don't need much to feel good, they're already here.
(If you're looking for sun trine moon, thats on part 1, decided not to add this one on here).
Enjoy!
#ketu trine moon#rahu trine moon#moon trine saturn#astrology theories#astrology thoughts#astrology#astrology observations#tropical astrology#sidereal astrology#astro observations#moon trine jupiter#moon trine mars#moon trine venus#moon trine mercury#all about the trine
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One-Shot: A Shadow’s Legacy
Summary:
When Azriel and Y/N are tasked with babysitting Nyx, it stirs unexpected emotions and deep conversations about their future. As new challenges and surprises unfold, they face their fears and dreams together. Discover how their journey leads to a life-changing revelation and a heartwarming new chapter in their lives.
Word Count: 2343
Warnings: None
The serene twilight of Velaris was just beginning to settle as Azriel and Y/N arrived at the River House. Feyre and Rhysand had asked them to babysit Nyx for the evening while they attended a diplomatic meeting. Y/N had been thrilled by the request, her eyes sparkling with excitement, but Azriel seemed more apprehensive.
"Thank you for this," Feyre said, handing a giggling Nyx to Y/N. "It means a lot to us."
Y/N beamed. "We're happy to help. Aren't we, Azriel?"
Azriel nodded stiffly, his eyes on the tiny winged infant. "Of course," he said, though the edge of his voice suggested he was far from comfortable.
As Feyre and Rhysand departed, Y/N turned to Azriel with a playful grin. "Relax, Az. It's just one night."
Azriel huffed, crossing his arms. "I’m not sure I'm the best choice for this. I'm better with enemies, not infants."
Y/N laughed softly, adjusting Nyx in her arms. "You'll be fine. Besides, look at this little guy. He’s adorable."
Nyx cooed, reaching out to tug at Y/N's hair with a delighted giggle. Her heart melted instantly, and she found herself imagining what it would be like to have a child of her own. A child with Azriel’s dark hair and hazel eyes.
She shook the thought away, focusing on the present. "Let’s get him settled."
The evening went smoothly enough. Nyx was a cheerful baby, full of laughter and curiosity. Y/N was a natural, playing with him and making him laugh, while Azriel watched from a cautious distance. Every time Nyx made a sudden movement or loud noise, Azriel would tense, as if expecting an ambush.
Eventually, it was time for Nyx’s bedtime. Y/N carried him to his nursery, Azriel trailing behind. As she rocked Nyx gently, singing a soft lullaby, Azriel lingered by the door, his eyes softening as he watched the scene.
"Az," Y/N called softly, "come say goodnight."
He hesitated but finally stepped forward, his usually composed features revealing a hint of uncertainty. He reached out, brushing a gentle hand over Nyx's tiny wing. "Goodnight, little one," he murmured, his voice surprisingly tender.
Nyx gurgled happily, his eyes drooping as he succumbed to sleep. Y/N carefully placed him in his crib and turned to find Azriel watching her, a contemplative look in his eyes.
"See? You’re a natural," she whispered, smiling.
Azriel shrugged, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "You’re the natural. I’m just trying not to break anything."
Y/N moved closer, taking his hand. "You did great. And...seeing you with Nyx tonight made me think."
Azriel raised an eyebrow. "Think about what?"
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding. "About the future. About having a family. With you."
Azriel's eyes widened, surprise and emotion flickering across his face. "Y/N, I...I never thought about it. I never imagined...children."
Y/N squeezed his hand. "I know it’s a lot to think about. But seeing you with Nyx, it just felt right. Like this is something we could do. Together."
He was silent for a moment, his eyes searching hers. Then he pulled her into a gentle embrace, his wings cocooning them in warmth. "If it’s with you," he whispered, "then I think I could do anything."
Y/N smiled against his chest, feeling a rush of love and certainty. "We’ll take it one step at a time. But I know you’ll be an amazing father, Az."
As they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, Y/N knew that whatever the future held, they would face it together. And with Azriel by her side, she felt ready for anything.
The next day, Azriel found himself in the training grounds with Rhysand and Cassian. The morning sun cast a golden glow over the landscape, and the crisp air was filled with the sound of clashing swords and laughter as the Illyrian warriors trained.
Rhysand and Cassian noticed Azriel’s contemplative silence as they sparred. Finally, Cassian, never one to shy away from a probing question, lowered his sword and approached Azriel with a curious look.
"Alright, Az. Spill it. What’s got you so lost in thought today?" Cassian asked, wiping the sweat from his brow.
Rhysand joined them, a knowing smile on his face. "Yes, Azriel. You’ve been unusually quiet, even for you. Something on your mind?"
Azriel hesitated, glancing around to ensure they were alone. Taking a deep breath, he decided to confide in his brothers. "It’s about Y/N. And Nyx."
Rhysand's smile widened. "Ah, the babysitting adventure. How did it go?"
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It went fine. Y/N was amazing with Nyx, as expected. But it made her think about the future. About having a family. With me."
Cassian's eyes widened in surprise. "Whoa. That’s big."
Rhysand's expression softened with understanding. "And how do you feel about it, Az?"
Azriel shifted uncomfortably, his wings twitching. "I don’t know. I’ve never thought about having children. With my past, with everything I’ve done...I’m not sure I’d be a good father."
Cassian clapped a reassuring hand on Azriel’s shoulder. "You’re not alone in feeling that way, Az. We all have our doubts. But you’ve got a good heart. And Y/N clearly believes in you."
Rhysand nodded in agreement. "Azriel, you’re one of the most honorable and caring people I know. You’ve protected this family, this court, with everything you have. I have no doubt you’d be a wonderful father."
Azriel’s eyes flickered with a mixture of relief and uncertainty. "But what if I can’t protect them? What if I fail?"
Cassian’s gaze was steady, his voice firm. "You won’t. And even if you stumble, you’ve got us. We’re family, Az. We’ll be there to support you and your family, no matter what."
Rhysand added, "Trust yourself, Az. You’re stronger than you realize. And you deserve happiness, a family of your own."
Azriel looked between his two brothers, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. Their words were reassuring, a reminder that he wasn’t alone in his fears. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I needed to hear that."
Cassian grinned. "Anytime, brother. Now, let’s get back to training. Can’t have you going soft on us, future dad or not."
Azriel chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders as they returned to their sparring. The conversation with Rhysand and Cassian had given him much to think about, but for the first time, he felt a glimmer of hope about the future Y/N had envisioned for them.
As they trained, Azriel resolved to talk to Y/N again, to share his fears and hopes, and to take that next step together. Because with her by his side, he believed they could face anything— even the daunting prospect of starting a family.
That evening, Azriel found Y/N in the garden of the River House, surrounded by blooming night-blooming flowers that seemed to glow under the moonlight. She was sitting on a stone bench, gazing up at the stars. The sight of her, so peaceful and radiant, filled him with a sense of calm.
He approached quietly, his footsteps barely making a sound on the soft grass. "Y/N," he called gently, not wanting to startle her.
She turned, a smile spreading across her face when she saw him. "Azriel. Join me?"
He nodded, taking a seat beside her. For a moment, they sat in comfortable silence, the night sounds of Velaris creating a serene backdrop. Finally, Azriel took a deep breath, ready to open up about the thoughts that had been swirling in his mind all day.
"I talked to Rhys and Cassian today," he began, his voice steady but soft. "About what you said last night. About having a family."
Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, a mix of curiosity and apprehension in her gaze. "And what did they say?"
Azriel smiled faintly. "They were supportive. They think I’d make a good father."
Y/N reached out, taking his hand in hers. "They’re right, you know."
He squeezed her hand, his expression serious. "But I have my doubts, Y/N. My past...the things I’ve done. I worry that I’m not capable of being the kind of father a child deserves."
She moved closer, her eyes searching his. "Az, everyone has a past. But it’s who you are now that matters. And you are one of the most caring, protective, and honorable people I know. You’ve saved so many lives, including mine. That’s what matters."
He looked down, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. "I’m afraid of failing you. Of not being able to protect you and any children we might have."
Y/N cupped his cheek, making him look at her. "Azriel, you’ve never failed me. You’re always there, always strong. But it’s okay to be afraid. We’ll face those fears together. Just like we do everything else."
Her words soothed the turmoil inside him, her unwavering faith in him a balm to his doubts. He took a deep breath, feeling a sense of clarity and resolve. "I want this, Y/N. I want a family with you. But I need you to know that I’m scared."
She smiled, her eyes shining with love. "We’ll figure it out together, Az. One step at a time. And I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way."
Azriel pulled her into a gentle embrace, his wings enveloping them both in a cocoon of warmth. "Thank you," he whispered against her hair. "For believing in me. For believing in us."
Y/N hugged him tightly, her heart full. "Always, Az. Always."
As they sat there under the stars, wrapped in each other’s arms, Azriel felt a newfound sense of hope and determination. With Y/N by his side, he felt ready to face the future—whatever it might hold. And for the first time, he allowed himself to dream of a family, a life filled with love and happiness, with her.
A few months later, Y/N stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom, her heart pounding in her chest. She had suspected it for a while, but now it was confirmed. She was expecting a child.
Taking a deep breath, she placed a hand on her still-flat stomach, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling within her. She knew she needed to tell Azriel, but the weight of the news made her hesitate. How would he react?
Gathering her courage, she went to find Azriel. He was in the library, engrossed in a book, his wings folded neatly behind him. As she approached, he looked up, a smile lighting up his face.
"Hey," he greeted, setting the book aside. "Everything okay?"
Y/N took his hand, her fingers trembling slightly. "Az, I have something to tell you."
Concern flickered in his eyes as he stood, his hands gently cupping her face. "What is it, love?"
She took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his. "I'm pregnant."
For a moment, there was silence. Then, Azriel’s eyes widened, his expression a mix of shock and wonder. "Y/N...are you serious?"
She nodded, tears of joy welling in her eyes. "Yes, Az. We’re going to have a baby."
A slow, radiant smile spread across his face, and he pulled her into a tight embrace, his wings wrapping around them both. "We’re going to have a baby," he repeated, awe in his voice. "I can’t believe it."
Y/N laughed through her tears, holding him close. "Believe it, Az. We’re going to be parents."
They stood there for a long moment, reveling in the joy of the news. Finally, Azriel pulled back slightly, his eyes shining with love. "We need to tell the others. They’ll be thrilled."
A few hours later, the Night Court gathered in the main hall of the River House. Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, Mor, and Amren were all present, curiosity evident on their faces.
Rhysand raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "You called us all here for a reason, Azriel. What’s going on?"
Azriel exchanged a glance with Y/N, his hand squeezing hers for reassurance. Together, they stepped forward.
"We have some news," Y/N began, her voice steady but filled with emotion. "We’re expecting a baby."
The room erupted in cheers and congratulations. Feyre rushed forward, enveloping Y/N in a warm hug. "That’s wonderful news!" she exclaimed. "I’m so happy for you both."
Cassian clapped Azriel on the back, a proud grin on his face. "Looks like you’re going to be a dad, brother. Congratulations."
Mor hugged them both, tears in her eyes. "I’m so happy for you two."
Even Amren, usually stoic, offered a rare smile. "Congratulations. The child will be lucky to have you both as parents."
As the celebrations continued, Azriel and Y/N shared a quiet moment together, their hands intertwined. "We did it," Y/N whispered, her eyes shining with happiness.
Azriel kissed her forehead, his heart full. "Yes, we did."
Months later, Y/N was in the birthing room, Azriel by her side. The labor was intense, but she drew strength from his steady presence. Finally, with one last push, the cries of their newborn filled the room.
The healer gently placed their baby girl in Y/N’s arms. She had tiny wings, just like her father, and dark hair that framed her cherubic face.
Azriel looked down at their daughter, tears in his eyes. "She’s beautiful," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
Y/N smiled, exhausted but elated. "She looks just like you, Az."
He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to their daughter’s forehead. "Welcome to the world, little one," he murmured. "We love you so much."
As they cradled their newborn daughter, surrounded by the love and support of their family, Azriel felt a profound sense of peace and fulfillment. This was their new beginning, a future filled with love, joy, and the promise of a lifetime of happiness together.
#ACOTAR#A Court of Thorns and Roses#ACOTAR fanfiction#Azriel#Azriel x reader#Night Court#Rhysand#Nyx#ACOTAR one-shot#fanfiction#SJM fanfiction#Sarah J Maas#ACOTAR fandom#ACOTAR imagines#book series#fantasy romance#Azriel fanfic#Y/N#Feyre#Cassian#Morrigan#ACOTAR Azriel#babysitting#new beginnings#family#parenthood#pregnancy#baby girl#Illyrian wings
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Lighten Up
Dean has a panic attack when Micheal suddenly appears out of the blue and distracts him from stressing thoughts.
Pairing: Dean Redding and Micheal Townsend
Word Count: 753
Book: The Naturals
Author's Note: the bromance guys!!! this was interesting to write since i rarely write from a guy's pov, especially in 1st person. anywho yeah i love my boys so writing about them and their dynamic was fun. had to cut some words cause it came down to just a bunch of yapping lol. also im kinda proud of this one!
taglist: @nqds, @reminiscentreader, @urbanflorals, @art-of-fools, @deprivedofbraincellsandsleep, @lxvebelle
The heat on my chest was brewing. I needed air. The doors stood at the end of the hall taunting me, so close yet so far away. I stumbled forward, getting closer to my goal. I finally made my way outside, breathing in the night. I took a moment to compose my shaking hands, counting as I stared at the moonlit pool. The panic in my chest only rose. I stood there, trying to make sense of how I’d let myself break.
Again.
Sterling was ordering Agent Locke to take me to visit my father for a new case, something about patterns. But every time I walked into that interrogation room, all I wanted was to shoot him in the head, his eyes on me. I’m not like him. I repeated the thought to myself until I half believed it.
“Y’know, I’ve never seen someone so pouty while staring at the moon.” My back straightens at the sound of Michael’s voice. “Fuck off, Townsend,” I grunt, not having the energy to deal with his bullshit. “Why the long face, Redding?” Michael teased, his grin seemed to have a presence of it’s own since I felt it before I saw it. He came to stand before me, two beers in hand and glinting eyes.
The tension between us was palpable; about a dozen arguments and unresolved fights helped make that. I stumbled forward, sitting on the familiar cobblestone steps, getting away from his figure.
“What do you want, Townsend?” I snapped, not bearing his company. My hands still trembled; the cool night breeze helped, but not enough.
Michael quietly came to sit beside me for a long moment before offering me a beer. “Thought you might need this.”
I stared at the bottle, temptation running on my tongue, before silently laughing. Only Townsend would offer the solution of drinking away my problem. “No? Ok, more for me I guess,” He says uncapping a beer and taking a chug. “Look man I know that Sterling has you going to see your dad again, it must suck ass I’m just trying to,” He lowered his voice to a whisper “Make sure you’re ok.” “What no way the Micheal Townsend cares about me?! This can’t be” I feigned sarcasm not caring to put a single inch of emotion into my words. “Shut up, I’m just doing it 'cause if you fall apart so do the girls and I don’t need to be taking care of three sad wimps.” I stare at him and take a beer out of his hand temptation winning over.
“Y’know you shift your shoulder when you lie, Lia must be bored with how easy it is to figure you out.”
“Shut up” He retorts with a snort,
A long silence seems to settle itself between us, leaving us to drink and drink. “I can handle it y’know” I take a moment before continuing, ignoring the sting in my eyes. “I don’t need you worrying about me, especially not Sloane or Lia,” I say with finality, not wanting them to worry about me, it was bad enough when Sterling looked at me like the same broken child I was so long ago, I didn’t need to see the worried glances from the girls every time I went out. “Can you? Handle it I mean?” He takes another swig from his beer before pointing to where I was standing just 20 minutes ago. “Cause from over there it looked like you were losing it.”
I knew what he was saying was true and yet I couldn’t let myself admit it. “Every time I see him I feel so helpless. It’s like i’m back in that house” I cut myself off taking a shuddering breath. “Don’t worry Redding, whether you like it or not you’re stuck with the lot of us, we’ll help you get though it and then when we go through our shit you’ll be there for us too.” I nod stiffly to his words knowing the truth behind them. “We’re a team, and if one of us breaks, well we can’t have that happening” The familiar word of Agent Locke sound through my head as Micheal stands up finishing up his beer. “Hey you notice how much calmer you are with my presence? It’s almost as if i’m a relaxing thought for you” He backtracks to the door his cocky grin back on his face. I give him my middle finger, happily confirming that no amount ‘heart to heart’ could change our relationship.
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Seeing that one reblog of yours about the manhwa I Became The Male Lead's Adopted Daughter really intrigued me! Is it a good one? 👀
Funny story about that, after your reblog brought the post to my attention again and after talking with a friend on discord about stories that subvert tropes I just went back and reread that entire manhwa up to the end of season 2 so this is great timing XD. Im summary: It's absolutely worth your time if you're a fan of father/isekaied daughter fantasy, if you're an isekai manhwa fan in general, or if you just want a well made fantasy father daughter story. Its fantastical concepts are handled with a grounded maturity that most stories in the same genre just don't manage to pull off because it takes the time to truly flesh out its characters as human being first and any tropes last.
The long story is below the cut, I'll be discussing vague spoilers throughout seasons 1 and 2. (side note, im using the official TL names for this bc i like em better)
I Became the Male Lead's daughter has a lot going for it, first of which being Pelliot, the cold duke of the north who adopts Lionia from the orphanage. Most manhwa of this nature have the isekaied person be our main pov with brief glimpses into the parent's perspective, usually done more for plots sake or to comment on how strange the isekaied child is acting. Pelliot shares the protagonist spotlight with Lionia because this story is about both of them concurrently- in fact, we don't even get a look int Lionia's head to find out she's been isekaied until chapter 8(i think, either way its after chapter 5). Before that we get to know her from how Pelliot and the people at the estate see her. Which is such a refreshing take for me, especially when you consider that Pelliot while a stereotypical "violent and competent northern duke who becomes a parent" in theory, is actually played out in a grounded way. The reason he even wanted a child is because he's feeling lonely and he sees how his best friend (yes!! our cold duke has friendships!! and they're super sweet!!) is so happy with 2 children, that he goes about getting a child in the most pragmatic way possible. He is violent and regularly commits war crimes, but he isn't cruel to his staff or his knights as is standard fair for these archetypes. (Can't say the manhwa avoids classist tropes, but such is the way when you have noble protagonists and don't want to make them look complicit in a degrading class system but overall things are handled well enough in that regard). Pelliot, in his fatherhood, also avoids falling into trope traps yet again by being a very believable first time parent. He struggles to adjust to Lionia's emotional needs but is learning, he goes to his knights for advice, he's studying Lionia and trying to make sure she gets a proper childhood and does his best to protect her from further exposure to violence beyond what happens with the abusive orphanage staff. They have a believable banter and play off each other to a scary degree, and while he loves her and worries for her he isn't an overbearing protective trope either. I feel like this is already too long but like. He's such a cool protag to have in a genre that tends to have very narrow and singular dynamics of parent/child relationships. And this isn't even talking about the other relationships we see him have with his peers which are just as good.
Moving onto our other protagonist, Lionia, the post made by @living-as-the-enemy-prince HERE (which clearly you have read but in case other curious souls want to look at it) sums a large part of what makes her work. This is a story that fully realizes its concept to the most effective degree. And I love in turn the story addresses the trauma that comes with being reincarnated- not only from a "i miss my home and family and friends" but from the inherent trauma of being an adult only to one day become a child. Lionia didn't get a chance to rest, she was thrown into a life of abuse, all her agency stolen from her, forced to look after the other orphans because she was the only one who could thus she felt responsible. That sort of disruptive event isn't something that can be brushed off, and it shows in the way Lionia is deeply insecure about her relationship to Pelliot. In this way their dynamic is made equivalent from both sides- in many stories its almost one sided, with the parent figuring out this relationship naturally and the isekaied child playing things 'for the story' and only recognizing the relationship theyve built later (thank you wmmap for helping solidify that -_-). It's truly so well thought out and every aspect of the central relationship feels so natural.
As for the story at large, I'm very excited to see what the plot has in store. As of season 2 of the manhwa, we're only just starting to kick things off plot wise, up until now its been far more concerned with relationship building and giving us a foundation on these characters. But things are definitely cooking now that we've heard mention Baria- the protagonist of the novel Lionia read in her past life (I could probably write another blurb about how well that is being handled but this post is so long already so). On that note though, don't be worried about that "oh but i have to follow the original plot against all common sense and reason" trope bc that doesn't matter at all here. Lionia has her concerns when it comes to the story, some of her insecurities stem from the fact that Pelliot never had a daughter in it, mentioned or otherwise, but at the end of the day she doesn't give a shit, she just wants her dad to have a happy and peaceful life.
Tbh anyone who hasn't read this should absolutely give it a chance bc I haven't even mentioned half the things I find cool about it like all the side characters that I love or the empress storyline that I am eyeing with extreme interest, etc etc
#I became the male lead's adopted granddaughter#manhwa#mae rambles#i hold a lot of love in my heart for this so i just went a wittle crazy
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List of headcannons because I feel like it
Chosen is generally a hungry person
In AvA II and III, Chosen really decided to just go munch on almost everything. Settings buttons, whole ass fonts and texts like he's PacMan or smth... so I like to think that this stems from Cho just liking to eat in general
Like, if he gets stressed he gets hungry. You give him comfort food on a bad day, he'd feel a lot better. He likes eating that much. Though I can imagine him having to restrain himself due to the very active lifestyle he lives (and a possible intense fasting and workout regime to sustain his body the best it can so he can fite)
2. The Hollowheads are crybabys
Some more than others, but I like to think that every generation of Hollowheads is in some way or another a crybaby. Vic and Cho have, like, a LOT worth crying over. Stress, anxiety, depression, nostalgia even... but you'll never see them crying in front of anyone. They're hunkering down someplace private, popping out the fine glasses, fixing theyselves a martini or a shot and drinking the night away (#justiceforchoandviclivers)
Meanwhile your two little shits, Dark and Sec are more so on the spoiled side of crying. Dark just seems like the type who would cry easily as a preteen and throw a whole fit over a lot of things. He likely carried this with him into adulthood, though I can picture Cho helping him practice to keep it under wraps.
Second is just very emotional in general, and he's also been somewhat sheltered so he tends to have bigger reactions to new things. He seems like the type who would cry if you put him in enough pressure. Full on sink to the floor, sob in his hands and scream at everyone to get out the room and then just lay down and cry silently. Kinda like the Box episode
3. The Hollowheads and Noogai were a family in the past.. for a little while
This is sort of morphing into an AU, but for the damnest reason I'm so fixated on this... the idea of Dark and Cho locating Noogai's new PC and returning to him after realizing living in the Outernet sucks with no food or shelter. Victim being this gentle but wise ghost who haunts Alan's devices and fulfills his role as Dark and Cho's oldest brother. Dark and Cho would actually have a healthy, non-destructive relationship with each other AND Alan, and they were actually a family
Then Second is drawn, TCO's return, and suddenly Chosen feels more drawn to the baby than he does to his scrawny little brother. As years go by and Second learns to walk and talk and play and learn about life, Dark is now a preteen and grows more bitter to Chosen, feeling as though he's been betrayed an abandoned. Granted, Chosen rarely hung out with him like they used to. Essentially, Noogai was the caring but severely absent father, Chosen was the stressed older sibling trying not to crack for everyone's sake, Dark was the enigmatic, bitter middle child, and Second growing up in the ever increasing hostile environment, with Victim being the peacekeeper and keeping them all glued together.
Dark, psychotic as he is, developed the ViraBlade in the hopes of erasing Second for good. Cho didn't like that, they fite, Vic is powerless, and let's just say a few wrong swings leads to an almost fatal injury onto Second's little body. Pissed beyond belief, Noogai kicks the two out and then they're forced to band together to survive however they can in the Outernet. And after evaluating that they're only good for fighting, they decide there's no other option...
Meanwhile, the impact on Second's body awakened the first spurs of his power within him. And Noogai decides to heal him and use him for animation practice instead, to slowly rebuild and reshape him from the traumatic injury. He just didn't know Second would come alive again...
wow that sure dragged on...
4. Chosen is emotionally bound to Second
Since Second is basically the reincarnation of Chosen, I like to think they're more connected than even Noogai realizes. Chosen loves the little guy more than you'd know, and would honestly do anything for him. I'd like to imagine that throughout season 3 of AvA, Chosen's gonna be catching a lot of bullets for his little bro
He probably also does it out of regret of failing to do the same for Dark, and now his trauma is being projected into his actions. He is very overprotective of Second but he tries his hardest to keep himself on the ground, and understands that Second is old enough to keep himself safe. If only he knew, though...
5. Victim and Second are identical in appearance
While Second may be the Chosen One's "Return", I don't think it means his entire appearance has to revolve around that . I actually like to think that he has a frightening resemblance to Victim. If you pulled down their hair, and gave them the same clothes.. he'd look exactly like him. Only littler.
Because realistically, Second is living the life that Victim could've had the chance to live. And there are a lot of parallels in his life compared to Victim's. Second's gang is rainbow colored, Victim's is black and white. Second is a creator, Victim comes off as a distruptor. Second's environment is warm and bright and welcoming, Victim's whole facility is so bland and lacks color, it's almost unfriendly.
#alan becker#alan becker headcannons#ava the second coming#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#ava victim#noogai#animator vs animation#ava brother hc#ava hollowheads#ava au
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Carmy Repeating Trauma
Let's talk about it. Putting my therapist hat on now and watching The Bear Trailer makes me think of Carmy engaging in something called Repetition compulsion or Trauma reenactment. This is where we seek experiences similar to early life experiences including past Trauma despite negative consequences.
Carmy creating the non-negotiables list. Creating this high pressure environment, putting pressure on himself and the kitchen is a great example of this behavior.
Let's take a look at some of the types of behaviors I've witnessed Carmy engage:
Repeating Behaviors: this is where an individual engaging in routines and behavior even if they don't even enjoy it. To me, i'm not sure if Carmen enjoys being a Chef. I would ask him if this brings him any joy at all?
repeating self-defeating actions: this is all about self-sabotage. Engaging in negative self-talk, chronic avoidance, putting things off. I think Carmy struggles with this obviously he has a low opinion of himself and his self-worth. I also think he's a chronic avoider which is why he's switched gears completely and is now going after a star as a way to avoid his issues.
Repeating situations: This is where an individual place themselves repeatedly in the same situations, even if they'd rather avoid it. I do think Carmy is a master avoider, but this season i feel he will be exerting his control in the kitchen in an unhealthy way for himself. Pushing what he experienced as a child with Donna and in New York on the kitchen.
"If it's not perfect, it doesn't go out." This was shown on purpose. Even if it's true when a restaurant is trying to get a Star, for Carmy this is paramount. This sums up his struggles with perfectionism and will have big consequences this season. Perfectionism is one of the causes for repetition compulsion.
Emotion Dysregulation is a big one too. Carmy has issues with his anger, that much is clear. I think this season he will reach a fever pitch with his outbursts, worse than season one. He will be triggered often with associations and reminders of what he's experienced in engaging in these subconscious behaviors.
I do think he has a lot of protective factors: Sydney: He has a softness for her and is a reflection of how he wants to be in the kitchen. Richie: Even though Richie is good at bringing out the pissed off side of Carmy, he's also good at bringing out empathy in him. His meetings are protective factors as well.
Carmy has a lot of love in his life, he just has to be open to the goodness of it. This is a journey of healing for this character and things always have to get worse before getting better. I can't wait to see his partnership with Sydney and how they change one another.
Is Carmy the only reason the kitchen will be toxic for this season of the bear? No. But he is the catalyst. The toxicity of the kitchen is the direct reflection of what is going on with him in relation to his internal Trauma. Such a good fucking show.
what do you guys think?
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Hi!!!! Hope you're doing great. So, I really love fics where tony makes a mistake, like yelling at peter, misunderstanding, argument, ignore peter, etc. And then he feels guilty and apologize. I already checked out all the "tony is not nice" tag and I really loved it, so I was wondering if you have more fics like this. Thank you very much! I really love what you do!
We got a few recommendations with these themes! Enjoy!
Mistakes by happyaspie
Peter is injured during a mission but Tony is too distracted to notice... or listen when Peter tries to ask him for help. This leads to some frustrated tears, a trip to medical, a few promises and, of course, forgiveness.
You Need to Know (and I wish I Knew How to Tell You) by NanixErka
Alternate Title "Tony Stark Has the Emotional Intelligence of a Fish"
Tony Stark - through a daft conversation - leads Peter to think he doesn't care about him
Luckily he knows exactly how to fix it (He doesn't)
you held your pride like you should have held me by searchingforstars
“I had to take the risk!” Peter snaps. “I saved your life.”
Tony’s stare hardens. “Yeah, and nearly ended your goddamn own. This isn’t a trade-off. It wasn’t your call to make.”
“You would have done the same thing to protect me,” Peter points out. Tony just seethes at the statement.
“I don’t care about what you think I would have done. You are notme. And I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself."
--
or, as the timer ticked down, Peter knew his only option was to take things into his own hands. He just didn’t expect Tony to be mad at him for saving his life.
Irreplaceable by for_the_night
It starts with a cancelled lab session. Then two. Then three.
When Peter finally plucks up the courage to ask what he’s done wrong, he finds another kid in the lab with Tony. The teen feels a pang of hurt seeing the pair laughing and joking together, but the fatal blow is seeing Tony ruffle the boy's hair.
Tony doesn’t hate Peter. He’s replaced him.
it hurts to be half-loved by canon irondad (tomlinsoul)
“Oh for God’s sake. I’m not Peter’s fucking father. I’m not, I never have been, and I never fucking want to be, okay? I like the kid, sure, we all do, but at the end of the day, he’s just a smart little superhero I happen to mentor, alright? Now can that be the last I hear of that, please?”
or; Peter overhears another denial Tony is Peter's dad right after he realises he sees him as one. It's about as messy as you might expect.
I Do Listen To You by Icylightning
Tony was not having a good week. Too bad he takes his anger out on Peter.
The Tumblr Archives by losingmymindtonight
Chapter 21: Shout, Shout, Let It All Out
Written for the anon who left the prompt: "peter doing something self sacrificing and stupidly heroic during a fight and tony is like. fucking screaming at him once they’re safe cause he doesn’t wanna loose his kid but he stops when he sees peters eyes wide in fear, hands shaking, knees about to give out and tony realizes just how fucking scary it must’ve been to have to step up and do whatever the stupidly heroic act was, especially for a teenager..."
WARNINGS: mention of past child abuse, lots of explicit language, yelling
please believe me (i’m begging you) by idyllic_dae
Things were going so damn well. But then Michael showed up, and now everything around Peter is turning to ruin, and he doesn’t know how to stop it, and—
Maybe he’s the crazy one after all.
Forgive me by wolfypuppypiles
Tony thought that a botched mission and a fight between him and Peter would have been the worst thing to happen that week. He was wrong.
I Didn't Actually Mean That: A Tony Stark Story by what_the_fluff
Tony reverts back to bad habits for one night, resulting in a terrible rift between he and Peter (aka drunk asshole!Tony makes an appearance). It's entirely his fault, and he knows it's up to him to make things right - and save whatever shred of the last good relationship in his life still exists. He hopes Peter can forgive him...
Stress Is A Man's Best Enemy by Yousaydoctorisaywho
Tony Stark never really gets angry. Sure, he gets stressed nearly all the time, but who doesn't? Unfortunately, after both him and Peter have very stressful days, Tony releases it on Peter who ends up running away. There were quite a lot of misunderstandings and now Tony has to go out there and save the kid.
#fic rec#fic rec list#misunderstandings#arguments#hurt/comfort#emotional hurt/comfort#Guilty Tony#hurt!peter#yelling
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A REUNION LIKE NO OTHER
totk!link x f!reader, 2600 words
authors note: Buckle in, it’s a long one! I went against the poll and wrote both the first and second voted pieces WHOOPS. Anyways, took a lot of creative liberties here due to my strong ass baby fever atm hope we enjoy :)
cw: reader is pregnant and married to Link, One used of Y/n.
summary: When your husband goes missing, your determined to find him no matter what.
Things are never ordinary with your husband Link. Afterall, he is the hero of Hyrule, but from the moment he appeared bloody and battered on your doorstep things have never been normal. You followed him across the reaches of the world to save the society you love, settled in Hateno village together and eventually married there. You even fell pregnant with his child and was happier than ever. That was, until he disappeared.
Your husband was gone on another expedition with the Princess, yet this time he was more reluctant due to your impending birth date. You assured him you would be fine, giving him a sweet kiss on his forehead. Your charming husband, always so compassionate till the end.
Three days later you are knitting some baby mittens when a strong rumble knocks the cottage. Shrieks are heard from the village and birds erupt from the luscious trees, as a sturdy stag leaps out of the brush to gallop on your front lawn. Chaos ensues, but you have no reason to focus on the absurdities. Clutching your heavy belly as you burst indoors, you hide under the table for cover. The cottage still rumbles violently underfoot, but all you can think about is your husband and unborn baby. You can’t live without them, you just can’t.
But the earthquake is gone as fast as it came, and the small quaint town is quiet once again. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You’re safe, you’re fine and everything is normal. But of course, you can’t get up. You struggle and twist, trying to get up but you just cannot seem to. Going against the growing embarrassment in your mind, you call for help. After two hours or so of incessant yelling, Dantz the local farmer appears at your doorstep.
“Ma’am, are you alright?” He asks, after promptly helping you up. “Was that an earthquake?” you ask, expecting a nod or affirmation in response but instead, you are faced with an empty, almost regretful face. “What was it Dantz?” A long silence ensues, as he looks at his shoes, seemingly searching for an answer in their mud and holes.
Finally, he looks up, meeting your eyes with an intensity and fear you have never seen before in the once solemn man. “The castle it… It floated…” Surely he’s joking right? Because Link just went there with Zelda and- “Link…” You realise, the emotions hitting you like a brigade. “What about him?” “He was at the castle with the princess! Are you sure that’s what happened?” He nods, and your heart sinks. “Yes, I’m sure. I was hunting up in the mountains when it rose, I had a view as clear as day. I swear the thing just lifted up, with the evil smoke joining it and the heavens opening up above. But he must be fine, he is the sworn hero of our land after all.”
Tears swell in your eyes. What does this mean? You’re no stranger to your husband’s strength and talent, but you can’t help but fear the worst in this situation. A few of the village women burst through the doors, surely knowing of your distress with the situation. “Oh sweetheart…” One empathises, sitting you onto a chair and wiping away the now gushing tears on your face as the other sends the man to find out more news. You were never really close to the people of the village, as you were in a strange in-between age and kept yourself in a quiet haven with Link. But in this moment, they felt like mothers to you, reassuring you and keeping you and the baby safe.
The next couple of days were agonisingly slow, with no news of Link or Zelda’s whereabouts. The women assured you that it’s because they are still exploring, but you had the wits to know otherwise. When Link had to go on the mission, he swore he would be back as soon as possible. “I’ll be safe, I promise.” He said, sadness in his deep blue eyes despite your assurance you will be fine.
But now you may never be fine. No one will let you leave the house, pampering you with food and gifts just like Link used to do. Whenever they come to visit you the first thing they say is “no news” because they know that what’s on your mind. So, when you gain wind of a group of people from the village going to Hyrule field to begin a search you leapt at the chance to join them, just wanting to find your husband and return to normality once again.
No one stopped you. You may be nine months pregnant, but you are still the woman who aided Link in his journey and have a piercing stare that could scare a bear into defeat. A complex woman you are, sweet but strong, empathetic but harsh. So, packed onto carriages with others hoping to find Link and supplies to set up a temporary camp your journey begins, just praying for his return to be soon. You’ve heard about falling rocks, sinkholes leading to the unknown and the resurrection of Ganon’s monsters, but it wasn’t until you laid your own eyes on them that it became real.
Multiple bokoblins and some sort of monstrosity lead bokoblin interrupted your journey, causing a few men to become injured. One of these unfortunate men fell into a satanic dark goop, which caused him severe immobility. You pray to Hylia that Link will know how to fix this once he comes back.
And there it was, the castle in all it’s infernal glory. As the others set up the camp, you sit starstruck at the sight above you. Not that you could help anyways, with a human growing inside you. Deep down, you already know what you are faced with. This is a great evil, worse than ever before and ever will be. If Link couldn’t prevent this, you fear no one can.
Although you desperately want to stay hopeful, the week following your arrival shows no light at the end of the tunnel. You can barely sleep, gathering information from those around you on all the recorded sightings of Zelda. No Link though. A chef at the lookout tells you that perhaps it’s just a coincidence no one has seen your husband, although you’re not so sure. He’s strong, so strong in fact that if he was alive, he would be with you right now. But he’s not, instead you are on your own praying for his arrival.
Two weeks have now passed, and you sit in the bunker where everyone sleeps at the dead of night. So many of your new friends have become sick from this substance you now call gloom, it seems as if an apocalypse is upon you. Purah has been making towers to survey the lands easier, which you hope sheds a new light on your expedition. If it doesn’t, you don’t know what to do with yourself. Staring at the goddess statue, you have nothing left to do but pray.
“Oh goddess Hylia, please grant me your blessing to find my husband. Our child will join us any day now, and I do not what them to live without him. Without knowing his smile, his voice or his warmth is something I would never wish on our child. What kind of mother would I be if I willingly raised a child in the pits of hell such as this? Please grant this grace to my child, if not to me.” Tears now stream down your weak face, such desperation you have never felt before this moment. You tried to stay quiet in your prayers, but at this point you just give up, wailing and choking on the force of emotion. A crowd soon surrounds you, failing to sooth your despair, but all it does it make things worse. If Link were here, he could calm you down. In fact, if Link were here none of this would have even happened, and you would be safe and sound at home. You are now filled with intense rage at this fact, because in the end he has left you all alone. How could he? He promised, he promised, he promised, he-
Thick wet liquid drips onto the floor, and your hyperventilation subsidies. Oh no… You’re giving birth! Another woman beside you also connects the dots, and jumps into action effortlessly. “Quick, get the nurse, she’s giving birth!” She says, as you pant at the pushing sensation that overcomes you. A couple of men lead your staggering body over to a bed, where you lie down. “Link…” You call, somehow expecting him to appear at your side. But he doesn’t, your alone, with no husband here to aid you…
You push and you scream and you kick, just wanting this Hylia forsaken thing to get out of you. Someone grabs your hand to soothe you, but you soon push them away. It’s no use, you feel as if you are dying, your insides splitting and spilling forth. Strings of curses leave your mouth as the final wave of pain subsides about three hours later, and is replaced by the piercing screams of a newborn baby.
“It’s a girl!” The nurse exclaims, which is followed by the ruckus applause of the landing members. You were never one to thirst for attention, and now is no exception, as you anxiously await holding your daughter in your arms. As the nurse is cleaning up, she asks what the babies name will be. “Navi. Link has always loved that name, it seems only fair that’s who she is.”
Baby Navi overtakes your life, almost causing you to forget why you gave birth so far from home and without Link. You don’t forget it though, because every moment you look to your side or call his name he isn’t there, and grief over takes your body. A month has gone by, and no one will let you join the search. Therefore, you spend most days sitting with Navi outside of Lookout Landing telling her about her father.
“He has blonde hair and blue eyes, just like you. They sparkle when he laughs like yours too, but he doesn’t scream nearly as much as you do. In fact, he’s quite the opposite. He’s a quiet man, but if you’re lucky he’ll tell you a story about his travels. I’m sure he will tell you everything soon, he won’t shut up once he gets to know you.” The sweet girl laughs, acting as if she understands what you are saying. At only a month old, she already is so cheerful and loud. You wish Link was here to see her.
You get lost in this thought, looking up at the castle. If only they let you join them, you could find him, surely. Although, they don’t have to let you do anything. If there is one think your husband taught you, it’s to do what makes you happy. Despite his great responsibility, Link found joy and determination in the littlest things. He would go on impromptu expeditions and quests, even if it made him seem insane because that’s what he like doing. Helping others, and having fun.
So why do you have to listen to them? You go inside to the camp and stride over to nurse who has been helping you with Navi. “Are you able to babysit for a second? I just want to go on a little walk.” You ask, a sweet smile plastered on your face. She graciously agrees, thus giving you a moment to yourself. Trekking up the hilled path of the castle, you go over in your mind exactly where he may be. If he was underground and the castle lifted up, would he still be underground or was he taken up in the ruckus? It’s most likely that he is underground, but he does often climb up to peaks to survey the land.
“Ma’am, what are you doing here?” Hoz, the leader of the expedition asks, with a group of men in tow. “Oh, I’m just here to help. And no, you needn’t worry about me. I’m perfectly fine to join you” You rebut, giving them no time to argue with you. “Are you, sure? I wouldn’t want you getting hurt, and neither would our hero Link.” “No, I’m fine. I know the most about Link, I even travelled with him. I am the most equipped to search.” “Okay then, if you insist. Well, we are all splitting up into different areas to cover more ground. Why don’t you go with my team to the east?”
You go with the group to the designated spot, leaving no time for pleasantries. Once you stop on an out perch, you deliver the needed instructions. “Okay men, here’s what’s going to happen. Five people are going to go to that section, five there and the rest with me. I think Link climbed to the top of the castle to get a view, and we may find some clues there. Otherwise, checking the armour room may be a good idea. If he’s been inside there will be some weapons missing. Any questions?” You scan your eyes across the group, but no one seems to be paying attention. Instead, their eyes seem to be lying behind you, with a bewildered look on their faces.
Rolling your eyes, you turn around. You should have just gone on your own, instead of with these boys who just want to- behind you stands a man, short in stature but with long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes piercing your soul. They swell with tears, a soft smile on his pink lips.
“Y/n.” The man says, who could only be your husband. You ponder the idea that he is merely a figment of your imagination, but once he says your name everything crashes down. Blinded by his face you sprint forward, as he runs towards you also. You throw your complete weight onto the man who stumbles backwards, but he doesn't seem to care as he laughs and you cry, spinning you around and around.
Finally he puts you down, eyes stuck on yours and the largest smile on his face. “Oh Link I was so worried! I had the baby and I missed you so so much!” “You, you had the baby?” He asks, stepping back to look at your stomach. You nod furiously. “She’s a girl.”
“Navi?” He asks, already knowing the name which causes another nod in response. Your just so happy, you don’t even notice the crowd forming around you. You grab his arm, looking down at your gorgeous husband to see…
“Link!!” You jump back, shocked by the sight of a green warped arm on his body. He nods, looking down also. “We were attacked. I don’t know where Zelda got to, but she teleported away and I woke up with this strange arm.” You look back up at his eyes. They’re full of regret and remorse, as if he somehow failed a mission from long ago. You know he didn’t fail though, because he tried so hard to keep both her and everyone safe.
It doesn’t matter though, because he is here with you. Your family is reunited, in a reunion like no other.
#totk link#tears of the kingdom#link x reader#totk x reader#totk link x reader#link loz#legend of zelda#botw link x reader
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im just ranting about my elementary school buddy system because I loved it
I think the feeling of “I am going to be this person’s parent” aka being the mom friend started with the buddy system my elementary school had bc they’d assign us (the 4th graders) a first grader and then you were responsible for them and it worked surprisingly well.
And I had a very caring buddy, an older girl that lived in my neighborhood, so I took that as a basis to spoil the heck out of the little girl I got.
She was the cutest little thing, so I’d always get her from her classroom for every break and bring little gift for her, and we’d play for the break or team up with my friend - we were 30 4th graders and 22 1st graders, so some kids had two buddies, which had been the plan with us, too, but my kid was a refugee and we didn’t know she’d come until two days before the school year started, so we’d planned to look after this other girl together - and play with her and the other little girl, and I don’t think I’d been prouder of anyone or anything while the year passed because fuck I adored this child. I think we both cried when the year’s end came round and I went to secondary school.
I saw her one other time, when I was in fifth grade and had a free day and visited elementary school, and she came running up to me breathing heavily and asked if I was still going to this school or if I was coming back, and wrapped me up in a fucking bear hug and I am tearing up just slightly while writing this. She stayed with us for the rest of the break.
I haven’t seen her since. She’d be ten or eleven now, I think. Man, I wonder how she’s doing now.
#that got long and you dont have to read it#i just have a lot of emotions about this child#We were technically called „paten“ and our „Patenkinder“ (godparents and our godchildren) but that‘s not literally what we were#it‘s closer to partners#but the system was basically buddy system#my classmate and friend looks so much like her its unreal#but i asked and she said she didnt know anyone by that name#on the other hand she said that half her dad’s home country is related to her#so maybe#or its just coincidence
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I love the domestic bliss of shadzel raising lil baby xan, but something about single mom lae'zel is incredibly compelling
#maybe i just wanna see her struggle#i feel like shed have A Lot of complex emotions about having to raise a child#like i dont think shed activity Want to raise him#but shes already committed and gods be damned if she doesn't give it her all#even if she fails at meeting up to the expectations of a “mom”#shed be fine simply as his caretaker
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Sad Boy Hours: Billy Batson
He's trying so hard to get the screaming adults in the room to just stop screaming at each other and be reasonable.
He is immediately dismissed and storms off, justifiably insulted.
And Billy goes right back to blaming himself, trying to figure out where he went wrong, how he could have fixed things, managed the emotions of the room better--even though he is 100% correct and the adults are absolutely failing, and badly.
"Even if he's wrong...I should respect him." Honey, the thing that's eating at you is the absolute dogshit way they act and then expect you to just accept as normal. These grown-ass heroes should not be hitting each other.
And a degree, honey. Several of them.
He sounds like a teacher trying to get the class to behave and that script keeps failing him. Over and over the adults around him dismiss him for his optimism, ignore his calls for reason. And they're heroes. They're the good guys and they tear into each other regularly and viciously. And Billy is fifteen years old in a room of adults screaming at each other. The team is sometimes down right abusive, and this child is trying to keep them from falling apart.
I worry about him, ya know?
(anyway, thank you for coming to my Sad Boy Hours)
#justice league 80s#jli#justice league international#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#i found so many moments of billy being an absolute sweetie pie and trying desperately to get people to get along#it kinda breaks my heart a little because he's just 15 and these are Grown Ass Adults in the MOST hostile work environment#i got a LOT of feelings about the Emotional Support Child#possibly eldest daughter syndrome but all the kids are older than you and y'all have no parents#he's literally a child soldier#kind of inspired by a fic i read the other day#and just watching billy get emotional slapped around because he Cares#sad boy hours#when the most mature person on the team is the only one who hasn't finished puberty#and i get this is kinda the joke but the sad boy hours got me so#ANGST#“its not that deep” IT IS TO ME
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This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
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Five: He was just a kid.
Tegan: He loved you.
Five: Yes. I realise that now.
Brb crying over this exchange and how despite everything the doctor meant the world to Adric even though he wasn't the same man he set out travelling with
#he just wanted to travel with the doctor and learn everything there is to learn 😭#also tegan and five talking about the fact they never stopped to mourn bc the doctor doesnt like to dwell on the past 😭#tales from the tardis#dw spoilers#kinda?#its been 10 years since i first watched earthshock and im still not over it#but then its been 40 years since my mum watched it and shes still not over it so i guess theres no hope#wild to me we were both traumatised by earthshock almost exactly 30 years apart 😂#anyway i have a lot of emotions about team five rn#(but then again when dont i)#and tbf to adric id hate it too if i went from the doctor's confidant to youngest child in the span of a day
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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Idk if there's enough people talking about what a gigantic energy drain Complex PTSD is. It's not just one single traumatic event, it's having lived in a traumatic situation for a long time. And in the case of child abuse, your entire formative life period. Everything is a trigger, anxiety is your default, and your brain keeps trying to keep you safe by yelling at you about everything you're doing "wrong", which will lead to pain. Your brain is a constant war zone, braced for attack, rarely relaxed, at least some part of you always hypervigilant. The stress it takes on your body is insane. It's why trauma is linked to autoimmune issues, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and, according to one study, cancer.
Physical disability leaves you even more vulnerable and less able to live up to the impossible standards of control and "correct" behaviour your brain insists on, not to mention the free gift given to all patients of chronic illness that is medical gaslighting and patient-blaming, all of which simply compounds the trauma. Reduced physical and mental health obviously leads to systemic risk factors such as inability to pursue academic and professional qualifications, poverty and financial struggle, malnutrition, becoming unhoused or bad living conditions, exacerbated medical issues and further lack of medical resources, reliance on welfare and care networks, and becoming trapped in codependent, abusive or toxic relationships. The knock-on effects are endless.
This is all to say— if you're wondering why you can't seem to do more than the bare minimum every day when you haven't been diagnosed with a physical illness, or you're "not that disabled", or you think your symptoms are "just psychosomatic" (which means your brain is under so much intolerable stress that it's started taking a chair to the windows and destroying the furniture just to get you to NOTICE AND MAKE IT STOP): the answer is that your body is actually struggling under the kind of stress that kills trained soldiers and disables them for life. So stop trying to convince yourself that you're just not trying hard enough when what you really, desperately need to get your life on track is community, care, rest and ease.
#the medicalization of mental health is just capitalism trying to cover its ass#isolating physical and mental illness makes the entire medical complex an abject failure actually#''disease'' should refer to a state of being rather than its outcome imo#i've never heard of one that wasnt simply the visible symptom or ramification of the core problem or situation#like I'm grateful for the anti-depressants and bipolar meds and all but i just think a lot more problems would be solved#if someone gave me a place to live with peace and quiet and living assistance#i mean I'd still need the meds its not either/or#but I wouldn't need to be on ever increasing doses for the rest of forever#also if there was some kind of holistic understanding of health that bridged psychiatry with the fest of the medical complex#they could have taken one look at how badly I broke down at age twenty and worked to prevent my inflammatory disease being triggered#or at least not gaslit me about it for seven years until i nearly lost a colon#you just absolutely bloody cannot treat health as separate from socioeconomics and community support#this shouldn't be new or revolutionary#actually cptsd#complex ptsd#ableism#disability#healthism#child abuse#emotional abuse#domestic abuse#intimate partner violence#parental abuse#chronic illness#spoonie#knee of huss#mental illness#autoimmune disease#social justice#psychosomatic
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it’s weird to think that in a lot of ways who you were as a child is your most authentic self bc so much of your early years are spent being encouraged to leave yourself behind in the name of growth. and then as you navigate through life, you come to a particular realisation that the path to happiness is just finding your way back to yourself. like if life is a journey, then the destination has always been you.
#like I was always very sensitive as a child#and growing up i tried to work on being less emotional but it made me less equipped to really deal with my feelings at times#and now that I’ve started therapy soo much of our conversations have been around just sitting with my feelings / emotions and alllowing#myself to feel them and to let them pass#and I still find it hard but when I do it I usually feel lighter#and it just feels silly bc no one had to tell me to feel my feelings as a child lol I just did it and I was probably better for it#so in a lot of ways growing up has felt like relearning the skills I had as a child that I thought I needed to leave behind to be an adult#lol funny to think about tbh
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