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miss-multifandom-mess · 1 year

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My McSpirk Master Fic Rec List

A List of McSpirk Fics I Recommend

Sharing a bed, where everyone dreams by LadyPolyester

Chapters: 1/1

Words: 1,692

Tags: Established Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Romantic Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love in a shower, Mutual Pining

Summary: "Oh, oh come on, Spock, let yourself go!." Jim began tickling the Vulcan and giggled like a naughty child. Spock shuddered and, although he tried to remain calm, he tried to dodge Jim's attacks by rolling on the bed. The captain did not let go of his prey. Suddenly, he rolled harder onto the edge and ended up on the bedroom floor.

Leonard opened his eyes with a mixture of surprise and bewilderment. "Really,Jim,you have a knack for kicking people out of your bed." He rolled his eyes.

A Case Study in Empathic Somnambulism by fleurofthecourt

Chapters: 2/2

Words: 3,185

Tags: Sleepwalking, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Fluff

Summary: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy all end up sleeping in Spock's quarters, but it is not entirely on purpose and, honestly, kind of a problem.

AOS McSpirk One-shots by Klmeri

-> Collection

Words: 163, 258

Tags: Threesome - M/M/M, Established Relationship, Pre-relationship, Humor

Summary: These are standalone one-shots of McSpirk in the Alternate Original Series. Both Established relationship and Pre-relationship!

Could Only Handle So Much by maifai

-> Series

Words: 233,920

Tags: Tarsus IV, Angst, Trauma, Slow Build, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, PTSD, Developing Relationship, Pre-relationship

Summary: Star Trek fics that can each be read as stand-alone, but are also intended to feasibly coincide chronologically.

Prepare for the SLOWEST of slow burns. It's going to take literal years (both irl and in the story). End game will be McSpirk.

love, actually, is: the final frontier by esspresohno

Chapters: 6/6

Words: 15,713

Tags: Romantic Comedy, Ensemble Cast, Fluff, Humor, Holidays

Summary: it's Love Actually, but it's on the Enterprise, and on a starship the 12 month calendar doesn't exist, and it's in the 23rd century so the holidays don't really look the same, but it's Love Actually

ensemble rom com fic with classic Chuhura pining, a ship I invented between Pavel and Ensign Syl (from st beyond), Hikaru and his husband in a loving marriage, Gaila/Scotty with an entirely new Gaila characterization which i also pulled out of nowhere, Spones because i think my own jokes are funny, background Spirk, and a McSpirk finale because i don't write enough of that ship

Emotional, physical, and mental by TFALokiwriter

Chapters: 16/16

Words: N/A

Tags: Humor, Hurt, Trust

Summary: There are three things that can hurt some-one when pushing them to their limits or making them feel pain: emotional, physical, and mental. Sometimes the last part can hurt more than the physical, and sometimes, just sometimes, but perhaps rarely this ever happens, you get the wrong version of the mind inhabiting it.

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thegeminisage · 5 months

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STAR TREK MASTERPOST

hi my name is liz and i'm watching the entirety of star trek in release order, so this post was SIGH inevitable. i will edit with updates it as i make more

FANFIC

Gambler's Knife - AOS, Spirk, 22k. Twelve years after Tarsus IV and three months after dying to realign the warp core and save his ship, Jim Kirk seems to have a new lease on life: he's been resurrected, started pursuing a tentative new relationship with Spock, and has an entire five-year mission ahead of him. That is, until the attempted murder of an old friend forces him to divert the Enterprise away from her intended course and towards Planet Q. After a chance encounter on the planet's surface, new secrets about Jim's time on Tarsus IV come to light—secrets that threaten to destroy everyone he fought to protect, and the new life he's finally achieved. Some things you carry with you wherever you go.

SKIP/WATCH LIST

as i watch star trek, i am making an incredibly detailed spreadsheet which aims to guide new people into what to watch...or what not to watch. this list includes every single movie and tv series (including the animated ones), multiple watch orders (release order vs chronological order), runtimes, content warnings, and indicators on which characters feature in which episodes + indicators on which episodes are important for continuity. the only catch is i am updating it as i go, so it's a verrry slow work in progress. i've also still got a few blanks in the tos bit.

currently the only tumblr post with a link is this one, but i'll make a better post once i've finished going back and filling in the blanks on the tos section.

SPOCKANALIA DIGITIZATION

@maulthots and i are working on digitizing all 5 volumes of SPOCKANALIA - retyping text, cleaning up images, and adding alt text. they'll be added here as we complete them.

Volume 1

EPISODE REWRITES

sometimes star trek makes me crazy and i wanna fix it, but i don't have the time or patience to rewrite it in fic form so we get tumblr posts instead. they are in the order that i did them. right now there are only a few but i want to do like a thousand

[tos] the motion picture

[tos] the tholian web

[tng] violations

META

these are mostly small posts for now. someday i might make big ones.

marrying a vulcan is not unlike being a horsegirl

tos kirk vs aos kirk on retirement and the infinity of the universe

tos spock vs aos spock on love and death being real

tos spock vs aos spock on becoming close to one parent but remaining forever separated from the other

kirk and bones react differenly to spock showing emotion

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE SPACE BABES - kirk's encounters with women are often nonconsensual (collaboration with @maulthots)

funniest possible pre-mcspirk situation in aos

aos plot devices we could have had

small post about vulcans getting drunk on chocolate the first time

GRAPHICS

most of these are shitposts.

spock in shades for my header

"then perish" tas bones meme

spones graphic for wrath of khan/search for spock

CLIPS

i make clip shows sometimes.

bones being possessed in search for spock

tos scenes that remind me of tarsus iv

kirk insults spock for a minute and a half

kirk reacting to spock's emotions vs bones reacting to spock's emotions

STAR TREK TAGS

#tos -the original series

#tas - the animated series

#tmp - the motion picture

#wok - the wrath of khan

#sfs - the search for spock

#tvh - the voyage home

#tff - the final frontier

#tuc - the undiscovered country

#tng - the next generation

#ds9 - deep space nine

#aos - collective tag for the kelvin timeline movies

#st books - posts about the star trek novels

#st comics - posts about the star trek comics

#vintage trek - anything from before the turn of the century

#spockanalia - post about spockanalia, an early spock-centric fanzine

#spirk - kirk/spock

#spones - spock/bones

#mckirk - kirk/bones

#mcspirk - spock/kirk/bones

#st fav - fav star trek posts

LIVEBLOG TAGS

this includes the series AND the novelizations, if/when applicable - i am working my way through the tos movie novelizations and i want to read more. also, spockanalia <3

#tos lb - the original series liveblog (technically i didn't start liveblogging it until late into the series. rip)

#tas lb - the animated series liveblog

#tmp lb - the motion picture liveblog

#wok lb - wrath of khan liveblog

#sfs lb - search for spock liveblog

#tvh lb - the voyage home liveblog

#tff lb - the final frontier liveblog

#tuc lb - the undiscovered country liveblog

#tng lb - the next generation liveblog

#ds9 lb - deep space nine liveblog

#aos lb - the kelvin timeline movies (not much here because i wasn't star trek posting back when they came out)

#spockanalia lb - spockanalia

#star trek blogging - all of the above put together

MISC

my top 10 and worst 10 tos episodes

non-exhaustive list of youtube videos of vintage trek commercials, feel free to add your own

funny and unhelpful version of the skip/watch list i used with friends ie my only true record of tos first impressions

star tos "episode sorter" to rate every episode from best to worst

tos episodes on a tier maker

#liz's star trek stuff #star trek masterpost #SORRRRYYY ik it's long i'm not gonna pin it i'm just gonna link to it in my bio

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itsmajel · 2 years

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Majels Rec-Lists

Well hello there! Welcome to the world of “things I’ve read and enjoyed”. I do a “reasonable” amount of fanfic reading every month and there’s quite a bit of content about that on my blog. So if you’re looking for reading inspiration and think you might enjoy what I liked try looking here:

My AO3 Bookmarks

Let’s be honest: I do most of my reading on AO3 nowadays and I’m one of those people that actually uses the bookmarks as intended. I use them to keep track and rec my favourite stories. Currently I have over 2100+ bookmarks marked as rec (~600 Stucky, ~Geraskier, ~250 Buddie, ~240 Destiel, ~200 McDanno,~ 100 Spirk, ~50 Coldlash and Spidypool) and AO3 also has all sorts of great filter and sorting functions so I highly recommend just heading over there. Majel Reads Masterpost I did lists of all the fanfiction I’ve read and enjoyed each month up to mid 2018 and then one in 2020. This is the all-time masterpost that links you to all other lists by month.

Just finished Reading Series I try/tried to do some individual promoting for fics I’ve finished reading and that go to my bookmarks. Here you can find all those kind of rec post.

You can also try these pre configurated searches on my blog to find fic recs by fandom (at this point fandom do not represent all the ones listed about because I was only actively doing recs on tumblr until 2018): Supernatural - Destiel Captain America / Marvel CMU - Stucky Star Trek - James T. Kirk/Spock Marvel - Spidypool Harry Potter Shadowhunters - Malec Pirates of the Caribbean - Jack Sparrow/Will Turner The Hobbit - Bagginshield

Also you might enjoy browsing the following tags on my blog: fic rec – umbrella tag for everything fic themed I rec. Contains the above and all the promo posts I reblog etc. majel reads – umbrella tag for everything I read including little tumblr stories and snippets. rec list reading list

#majel reads #rec list

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lorenzobane · 3 years

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Harebrained Scheme

AN: Written for @trektober-challenge first installment- namely Prime Directive, but more specifically inspired by some of @fractal-baby discussion about Spock’s absolutely insane plans. It was written pretty quick and definitely playing fast and loose with timelines, but set after ST:ID but before ST: Beyond. Can be read as pre-Spirk, but the major relationship is Jim & Sarek chatting.

Can be found on AO3 here

Being kidnapped and held with his First Officer’s father was never exactly the plan for Jim. There are, in fact, a lot of people Jim would rather be kidnapped with. Namely, the aforementioned First Officer Spock.

But as it stands--

“We have been held here for approximately 2.3 hours,” Sarek says after a moment of silence.

Jim nods, “don’t panic.”

Sarek gives him a look that plainly says Vulcans don’t panic. “I am simply stating a fact of our capture.”

“Yes, sir,” Jim says patiently. “I’m aware of how long it has been.”

“The temperature is several degrees below Vulcan standard,” Sarek pointed out.

“I am aware of that as well,” because Jim was. Whoever their enemies were, they knew who they had kidnapped. The temperature is holding steady at a place where Jim is uncomfortable but is draining Sarek.

Sarek says nothing and continues to observe the cell around them calmly. Jim has been pacing since he woke up about an hour ago. It’s a plain white room with no windows and no doors as far as he can tell. He’s tried clawing at just about every inch of the sterile space, and as far as he can tell, nothing gives.

“What are the walls made of?” Kirk mutters to himself. They don’t feel like metal or even plastic- they radiate the coolness as if they’re some type of natural product, but the way the room is sealed tells him some kind of technology is involved.

Sarek cuts into Jim’s thinking with a, “I believe these are made of Betazoid limestone.”

“What makes you say that?” Jim asks. With Spock, he’ll usually prattle for a few minutes, discussing density and texture before giving him an answer as straightforward as his father.

Sarek looks at him in surprise, “you are not able to tell?”

Jim resists the urge to reply with sarcasm. Sarek isn’t Spock, which is plainly apparent in every interaction they have. Though Spock always seems extremely calm and balanced to Jim, being around his father makes Jim aware of how much more emotion and variation Spock regularly expresses.

“No,” Jim says. “I haven’t spent much time on Betazoid.”

Sarek nods, “I was briefly an Ambassador there in my son’s youth. He was very fond of the rock and found its cool texture pleasing.”

“I thought it would be illogical to find a rock pleasing,” Jim replies without thinking.

Sarek is quiet for a moment before responding with, “yes, indeed it was. However, as my wife put it to me then, there is nothing illogical about curiosity. The desire to explore. I am not sure I agree with her, but I have never been successful in curbing my son of any habit he does not wish to break.”

“He can be stubborn,” Jim replies with amusement.

A mild understatement if Jim has ever said one. Though he is always respectful and never veers into full-on insubordination, Jim now understands what Pike meant when he referred to Spock fondly as an ‘extremely independent First Officer.’ Jim doesn’t mind it, maybe even loves it- the way Spock is relentless when he is convinced of the correct course of action. The argumentative (logically debated, in Spock’s words) messages and memos coming at all hours until Jim either gives in or says the phrase, “drop it, that’s an order.”

Which, at the very least, shuts him up for a shift or two.

“Do you believe they will be able to find us?”

Jim shrugs, his communicator is still on his person, and he tries it every few minutes, but he keeps getting static. “None of my messages are going through, but as you mentioned, your son is very stubborn and an extraordinary Starfleet officer. If anyone could rescue us, it would be him.”

Sarek nods again, and they sit in silence while Jim continues to search every square inch of space. It doesn’t make sense- unless their captors beamed them into the room, there is no way for them to have entered without a door of any kind.

“My son,” Sarek says, somewhat awkwardly pulling Jim out of his observation of the walls once more. “How is he-- I mean to say, I recognize as one of the very few Vulcans at Starfleet, and now as an endangered species, it may be challenging for him.”

Jim kindly doesn’t say that Sarek didn’t actually ask a question and responds with, “the crew loves him. He fits in great and has a surprising number of friends. The kids in the Science department all think he’s some type of rock star. The amount of transfer requests I get specifically for his division is getting out of hand.”

“Rock star?” Sarek repeats back.

“A term for an old Terran classical musician who was known for extreme popularity,” Jim responds with some curiosity. Spock is exceptionally familiar with Terran classical music and had known precisely what Jim had meant when he used similar phrasing. Still, Jim supposes that perhaps he picked it up in his many years on earth.

“I am gratified to hear this,” Sarek replies, somewhat slowly. Jim jerks up, alarmed, when he realizes that it appears that each blink is getting slower and slower as if he were fighting falling asleep. “He has so few affiliates on Vulcan.”

“Really?” Jim asks, surprised.

For all Spock can be logical, sarcastic, and moralistic to the point of exhaustion, he’s also a kind friend, a shockingly understanding commanding officer, and a good sport about most things. He even participates in some ship-wide events, like the talent show where he played some genuinely excellent Vulcan lute.

And purely for Jim’s amusement, played a lute version of a truly ancient Terran classic that Jim has a soft spot for, Wildest Dreams.

“He… Was an unusually brilliant student,” Sarek says, still slow as if fighting for words. Jim realizes with an urgency that he should probably try to keep Sarek talking to keep him awake.

“Vulcans didn’t like brilliant students?” Jim asks with amusement. The idea of Spock being a nerd among nerds is somewhat hilarious.

“No, they did not like an unusually brilliant half-human,” Sarek replies, his voice for the first time that Jim has ever known him touching with a hint of sadness. “And he was… Willful. Unusually brilliant, and ferociously unselfconscious about his mother.”

Jim laughs a little at that, rubbing his neck unconsciously, “yes, I definitely learned the hard way that you shouldn’t insult his mother.”

“As did many,” Sarek says, his eyes closed. “He had a violent physical altercation when he was eleven for a similar reason. It was that disrespect of his mother that ultimately caused him to turn away from the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“He didn’t go to VSA because they insulted his mother?” Jim asked, surprised. “Why would they insult Amanda anyway?”

Sarek takes a sharp breath at the casual use of his wife’s name, and Jim feels terrible. After months of playing chess with Spock, they had begun discussing their childhood and Spock often spoke of his mother glowingly. He had insisted that they use her name to honor her memory.

“They referred to her blood as a disadvantage. I knew the moment they said it; he would never accept a place that looks down on humans. He could be illogically loyal.”

“His illogical loyal behavior saved you on Vulcan, and it saved earth,” Jim replies, his voice sharper than he intends it to be.

Sarek opens his eyes at that, slowly and blearily, “I did not mean that negatively. I have come to find that many of the traits I viewed as… Aberration in him, in his youth, has come to define his tremendous successes.”

Jim doesn’t say, though he dearly wants to, that viewing his child’s personality as an aberration at any point is pretty illogical. Still, Spock is a subject that Sarek is willing to stay awake and speak about, so Jim asks, “like what?”

“Well,” Sarek says wryly, “his disregard for rules he simply disagrees with. It is, presumably, the reason that he works so well with you and your idiosyncratic leadership style.”

“I would not say that Spock isn’t interested in the rules,” Jim replies with surprise, the betrayal of Spock’s report after they saved him from a volcano still kind of stings.

“He follows the rules he believes in avidly, that is true,” Sarek says, his voice does hold amusement now. “But he regularly ignores them if he wishes to. I presume you are referring to his report after the events of Nibiru?”

Jim jerked in surprise, “how did you know--?”

“My son and I have been keeping close correspondence after the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother. We are attempting to… work through the strain our relationship was put under while I worked through my disappointment that he did not go to the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“Isn’t disappointment illogical too?” Jim asks. It is hard for him to hear the casual way Sarek describes his feelings towards Spock when Jim truly and completely believes that his First Officer is one of the finest beings he has ever encountered.

Sarek makes a noise of agreement, “you are correct. Vulcans may take a vow to control our emotions, and we certainly may attempt to utilize logic in most decision-making. Still, there is no doubt that our species can be vulnerable to prideful behavior.”

Jim, having beaten Spock at chess a few times, can attest to that.

“What did he say about Nibiru?” Jim asks, curious now as to how Spock described the events to his father.

“I believe,” Sarek says again, his voice rich with amusement now, “that you saw yourself as the rule breaker in this scenario. However, after listening to his entire recounting, I must ask you- whose idea was it to freeze the volcano?”

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “Spock’s. He had been reviewing the geothermal events on the plant. He calculated the likelihood of explosion was incredibly likely, so he asked if he could try one of his experiments to save the planet.”

“You realize that the plan itself, from its initial conception, violated the Prime Directive, do you not, Mr. Kirk?”

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “what?”

“It is against the Prime Directive to interfere with a planet’s destiny in any way. Then, the matter of his cold fusion device. An entirely novel invention that had gone through no formal testing, no review process… He simply believed it would work, conducted experiments in his free time, and wanted to use it. And had a captain who trusted him.”

Jim blinks again at Sarek. “But… But…”

Sarek leaned his head back, “do not feel bad. He was somewhat infamous for this when he was a boy. His capacity to convince his instructors that his personal pet projects were highly logical and beneficial regardless of external forces was… Remarkable. And in you, I think he has finally found a place where his prodigious intellect is not being checked by constant regulation.”

“Spock always follows regulation,” Jim defends on instinct, his mind reeling.

“He always follows the ones he believes deserve to be followed,” Sarek corrected. “He has always had a somewhat unusual penchant for attempting novel actions without the traditional Vulcan tendency of deep contemplation.”

Oh, the thought hit Jim suddenly. Spock is a Vulcan bad boy. Jim doesn’t know why he finds that so shocking; Spock does, after all, go along with a majority of his plans and even comes up with half of them. Even more damning, if Spock did not agree with a course of action, it relatively rarely ends up occurring.

Which means… Spock is actually as goddamn reckless as he is.

Jim isn’t sure how he feels about this revelation.

“He... He tricked me!” Jim cries out eventually, unable to contain it.

“But as I have said,” Sarek adds, his voice is shallow and slow now, “I have come to realize… These qualities, his capacity for creativity, and quick thinking have allowed him to become the most remarkable of us.”

“I’m glad that you could see what we have always seen,” Jim says, though he’s more using the royal “we.”

It took him considerably longer to see what was right there in front of him, but once he had, it made sense to Jim that Spock had been a popular professor, First Officer, and Advisor in his time at Starfleet.

“I was unwilling to admit it, but I was worried when he chose Starfleet. So far from his people, alone and living in an abundance of difference. Vulcans can be quite homogeneous.”

“Infinite diversity in infinite combinations,” Jim quoted from Spock’s eternal sermons.

“Ironic that it is a Vulcan philosophy when so many of us view the world so similarly,” Sarek said, inclining his head slightly. “However, in a land of difference, he was able to find a space for himself that he was unable to find with his people. He always did appreciate adventure, read illogical books with his mother like Alice in Wonderland and Sherlock Holmes. Even Shakespeare which his instructors on Vulcan never enjoyed.”

Jim raised his eyebrows again. Spock often quoted fanciful literary classics in trying situations. Still, it never entirely occurred to him how oddly poetic and even artistic that would have made him in a different place.

“I hope he knows that I hold him in high regard,” Sarek says after a moment, and his eyes drift shut again, his breathing going slow.

“No,” Jim leaps up. “No, you can’t. I can not be responsible for the death of two of Spock’s parents.”

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek says with exhaustion, “do not worry. I can place my body into a healing trance that will allow me to remain stable for an extended period of time if need be. The Betazoid limestone will make us challenging to track and as such--”

Just then, there is a loud thudding noise on the wall to their right, like something heavy just rammed into it at full speed.

A thudding again, and then Sarek shudders awake, “Spock?”

Jim doesn’t hear anything but Sarek does because he turns to Jim and says, “please move 3.87 feet to your left.”

Three seconds later, a thud outside the wall gives way to what appears to be an ancient wrecking ball.

“What is that?”

“I think it is your crew, Captain,” Sarek says.

Another beat and a large stone crash through the wall using a device that is an ancient Terran wrecking ball.

“Captain,” Spock said calmly through the hole he just blasted through the wall. “I see you’re unharmed. Father, it is gratifying to see you safe as well.”

“Glad you got to us in time; we were running out of gossip about you,” Jim says with a smirk as he slowly starts to try to clamber through the slightly too small hole.

“Please refrain from joking,” Spock says, guiding his father through the hole much more gracefully.

“Who’s joking?” Jim replies.

Spock looks to his father with an eyebrow up, and Sarek responds, “while I would not term it “gossip,” the captain is correct, and our mutual affiliation with you helped pass a majority of the time.”

Jim nearly cackles at the brief look of horror that passed over Spock’s face when he replies with a steady, “indeed.”

Jim smirks and is silent while Spock focuses on calling the Enterprise to beam up.

And much later, when Spock asks him what they discussed while Spock and Jim played their usual game of chess, Jim can be entirely honest when he says, “your many admirable qualities.”

It’s definitely worth the way Spock’s ears turn a light green.

#trektober2021 #star trek #aos star trek #aos spock #spock #AOS Kirk #james t kirk #ambassador sarek #i intended this to be pre-spirk #but can be read as gen

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brokenjardaantech · 3 years

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For the ask meme, 5, 11, and 25 :D

first of all, thanks for the ask. [scrambles for the questions] aight. [clears throat] anyway:

5: What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

- it’s not a single fic and i haven’t finished it yet, but i’m pretty proud of the groom lake aftermath au. it will be large, it will be grand, it’s a challenge to link up the storylines of two different game universes together (mass effect and detroit: become human), and it blends sci-fi and history (which are my top two favourite genres) quite well imo. it’s one of those oddly specific fics that are hit or miss, but nonetheless i’m proud of what i’ve done so far.

11: Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

- who: from the works that i have posted? cronos and rhea, who are my version of rk1700 in the groom lake aftermath series; and anchor, my oc from the same series. later? definitely captain allen from dbh and my versions of female ryders from mass effect andromeda (mea). taking minor characters or characters you have a large control over and developing them further in both pre- and post-canon is always fun, and both of them will play a big part in my fics in the future or even be the main characters. they are also projections of different parts of myself so i’m oddly attached to them.

- what: space/sci-fi, because i can’t help but link everything to space at some point; the hidden/less obvious influences of life events both major and minor, because sometimes the changes aren’t that noticeable until much, much later and you have an ‘oh shit’ moment where you casually look back and realise how much has changed or how different you’ve come to compared to your expectations from before; and bastardisation arcs where the mighty and noble fall, because that’s how most of my female ryders works. [hides behind cover with a full-auto valkyrie]

25: Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

- side adventures: definitely. how the ryder twins (in different ficverses) grew up, the dates allen60 or allen/another oc have, and how, in another yet-unpublished fic that i haven’t even started writing yet, mshep and kaidan support each other and raise a child together after being let down and abandoned by the other shepard twin. some of them i am and will be forced to cut out to keep up the pace of my fics, but who knows? maybe i’ll write and post them as separate works someday.

- spin-offs: listen, i have a star trek ficverse that started as a spirk (a.k.a. spock/james t. kirk) the shape of water au which i now have committed two genocides in and contains four generations worth of characters and plot. i also intended for the groom lake aftermath au/crossover to end at the jon grissom expedition, but now it spans all the way from the canon dbh timeline to the events of the entire mass effect trilogy on top of an au of this au/crossover where allen somehow managed to avoid all the shit i am going to put him through in the main timeline by [SPOILERS REDACTED]. so no, i don’t daydream about spin-offs - i am the spin-offs.

i think that’s all i have to answer about these questions for now. others, feel free to send me more asks.

#ask meme #ask meme answered

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soyraktajino · 7 years

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hi i’m having a really shitty day here’s a really embarrassingly detailed analysis of a fall out boy song that reminds me of spock regaining his memory after st:iv

please don’t reblog this this is mostly a self-care post

like if you read

G.I.N.A.S.F.S by Fall Out Boy

(Gay Is Not A Synonym For Shitty)

youtube

the majority of this song works best from Spock’s perspective but the song itself changes perspectives (”you almost pick up the phone”/”i almost pick up the phone”) because it’s intended to be a love story between two broken boys who can’t admit to each other that they’re in love (which is. kirk/spock as hell)

I've loved everything about you that hurts, so Let me see your moves, Let me see your moves Lips pressed this close to mine, True Blue

this works as both Jim and Spock -- “I’ve loved everything about you that hurts” because they love each other through their insecurities and through the things that no one can understand and that hurt them to no end (Jim’s traumatic past ie Tarsus IV, his constant fear that he’s not doing enough for his ship; Spock’s internal turmoil over his conflicting cultural perspectives).

also merriam-webster defines “true blue” as “unswerving loyalty (as to a party) ie a true-blue romantic, completely faithful and loyal to a person or idea” which i think is beautiful in that unswerving loyalty is. both of their defining factors.

But the prince of any failing empire knows that Everybody wants, everybody wants To drive on through the night If it's a drive back home

yeah i’m not 100% on this i just like it conceptually as like... Jim and Spock driving back to their apartment in San Francisco (or taking the BART or smth) and wanting the drive to last forever because once they get there, y’know, they’ve gotta try and figure everything out. at least driving home holds the promise of maybe everything’ll work out.

(pre-chorus 1) Things aren't the same anymore Some nights, they get so bad You almost pick up the phone

so my favorite fic about post st:iv basically has Jim ask the bridge crew to help re-arrange their apartment before they get there - hide all the things that’d suggest they were married, because you can’t just. force him into a marriage he doesn’t remember. so Spock stays in the guest bedroom.

“things aren’t the same anymore/ some nights they get so bad/ you almost pick up the phone” sometimes Jim misses Spock so much he just wants to reach out to Spock and tell him everything, forget letting him figure it out on his own. but he never does.

(chorus) Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns I sleep with your old shirts And walk through this house in your shoes, I know it's strange It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you I'm supposed to love you

this is my favorite part ok

“trade baby blues for wide eyed browns” because Bones’ eyes (literally, literally called baby blues in-series) and Bones held Spock’s katra, wide-eyed browns as Spock’s eyes obvs and wide-eyed works because wide-eyed to the new world around him that he’s gotta relearn

“i sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes” so like Spock was only dead for like a few weeks at most between st:iii and st:iv so it’s. incredibly hard to say what the fuck happened to all of his stuff. there’s no way Jim could’ve thrown it out. so i like thinking of this from either of their perspectives -- Jim wearing Spock’s old shirts (he wouldn’t know, anyway) as a comfort and walking through their home trying to empathize with what Spock must be going through...... but more than that, it’s really from Spock’s perspective because of the next part of the chorus. so Spock wearing Jim’s old shirts (he wouldn’t know!!) because he subconsciously knows he has an attachment to them somehow and walking through the house trying to remember everything that Jim remembers about them

“it’s a strange way of saying that i know i’m supposed to love you” is Spock’s realization that he and Jim were bonded. and it’s really painful because he knows he’s supposed to love him, he knows this is something his past self must have felt, but he doesn’t understand it for himself. as much as he may want to.

I've already given up on myself twice Third time is the charm, third time is the charm Threw caution to the wind But I've got a lousy arm

i don’t have a spirk meaning for “i’ve already given up on myself twice/ third time is the charm, thirt time is the charm” because the irl meaning of it is that pete’s tried to kill himself a couple of times (7 minutes in heaven’s alternate title is atavan halen, a play on van halen, because his suicide attempt in 06 was with an overdose of atavan; i think his other attempt was when he was a young teenager iirc) and he’s really tongue-in-cheek about suicide which. i identify with so strongly because when i was 17 i planned out my suicide attempt and didn’t go through with it and now that’s in my medical history and it’s such a pain in the ass to have every psychologist ask about it, i was just a terrified kid and i didn’t see any other options, it was 5 years ago, i fixed it myself by getting myself help. anyway the “third time is the charm” is also related to a verse later, “you saved my life that night on the roof of your hotel” because patrick climbed his ass up there and talked him off the ledge. like this is overtly a song pete wrote about his affection for patrick. (pat’s eyes are blue and pete’s ex-wife ashley’s eyes are brown and they’ve definitely been seen wearing each others clothes). and patrick singing it is just. so emotional for me.

“threw caution to the wind but i’ve got a lousy arm” is just a really nice phrase for either Kirk or Spock saying ‘fuck it’ and trying to hint that they’re in love but the hint wasn’t received

i know this verse is really weak on the spirk just let me have this alright

And I've traced your shadows on the wall Now I kiss them whenever I'm down Whenever I'm down Figured I’m not figuring myself out

god i love this verse too. (”figured i’m not figuring myself out” is pete’s tongue-in-cheek way of addressing biphobia, how ‘’’’’you’re either straight or you’re gay’’’’’’, look at this bi ICON)

anyway this is definitely Jim. “i’ve traced your shadows on the wall and i kiss them whenever i’m down” no one literally traced anything ok he’s traced with his fingers shadows of Spock on their bedroom wall from his memories of them together and kissed them whenever he’s down... whether or not you want to imagine an incredibly depressed jim kirk actually kissing a wall is up to you my depressed little gay ass would

(pre-chorus 2) Things aren't the same anymore Some nights, they get so bad I almost pick up the phone

“things aren’t the same anymore/ some nights they get so bad/ i almost pick up the phone” is a mirror of the first pre-chorus with “you” traded for “i” -- now it’s about Spock instead of Jim. now Spock wants to reach out to Jim.

(chorus)

(see chorus lmao)

Born under a bad sign, but you saved my life That night on the roof of your hotel "Cross my heart and hope to die Splintered from the headboard in my eye" Photo-proofed kisses I remembered so well

oh FUCK i always thought it said “bullet-proof” kisses because that ties it in to another song on Infinity on High, but photo-proofed kisses makes my heart ACHE; because these boys were constantly followed by the paparazi especially after pete came out as bi. pictures that caught them kissing were. proofed to erase that because the label didn’t want the mixed publicity. fuck me UP

anyway yeah this verse is also hard for me to make a spirk interpretation of because i know the actual story here so well. they were on tour and pete just, has depressive episodes and he climbed up on the roof of patrick’s hotel in the middle of the night and patrick talked him down. (which -- you could romanticize this so easily but pete doesn’t, he just comes right out and says “you saved my life”, because pete wentz fucking gets it and the only time he romanticizes mental illness is when he does it sarcasticly, and the sarcasm is biting; especially because these boys know all too well how their fan base is. a bunch of mentally ill teenagers. they talk about it a lot in a way that... it feels so much like how when queer folk talk about queer issues. we don’t have to step around shit like we do when we talk to allies. it’s such a comfort. that’s what fall out boy feels like to me, it’s written by these boys who know what it is to be deathly sick and who’re talking to kids who’re deathly sick themselves.)

sorry fuck i... have a lot of feelings about fall out boy.

anyway, spirk

Born under a bad sign, but you saved my life That night on the roof of your hotel "Cross my heart and hope to die Splinter from your headboard in my eye" Photo-proofed kisses I remember so well

“born under a bad sign” can refer to genesis and spock being reborn but it can also refer just to spock being born into adversity. also jim’s a fucking pisces and so am i and listen, it’s the worst fucking sign okay

“you saved my life that night on the roof of your hotel” could like. theoretically. just be something that happened. a small memory. they’ve gotta go to some stupid starfleet thing because let’s be real jim’s always under question as the captain of the flagship and spock’s always under question as a vulan in starfleet and. i think for the both of them the “you saved my life” is less urgent than ‘i was actually going to jump off this roof’ and serves as more of a ‘you made me believe in myself again’ because they do that for each other. so. often.

listen i don’t even know what ‘splinter from your headboard in my eye’ means for the song meaning irl, i’m just ignoring this

“photo-proofed kisses i remember so well” the little Vulcan kisses they give each other all the time as small comforts through the day aren’t recognized by the press or the brass so they can do it in front of everyone as much as they like, as long as they’re discreet -- fingers pressed against each other at their sides, while passing each other in the hall, etc.

i’m repeating the chorus here because i fucking love it

anyway this is the gayest thing i’ve ever typed out in my life, it felt really nice to do, thanks for your time

if you actually read this whole thing you are entirely too good to me and i don’t deserve your friendship, but thank you so much this really means a lot to me

#ffr #don't lose

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