#i imagine it’s just a scheduling thing
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that thing from sherlock that’s like “during a fire you look for whatever’s most valuable to you” but it’s “during the mass exodus from the empires server you notice the absence of whichever hermit(s) are most valuable to you”
#hermitcraft x empires#LMAO i’m having so much fun#anyway for those counting at home it’s doc tango AND keralis#and not all the empires ppl came through either#i imagine it’s just a scheduling thing#but seeing who ppl post about is funny especially the ones worried about hermes HAH#also this is all /lh
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thinking about: the way your f/o talks about you when you’re not even around. [ banner described in alt. text ]
for your rom!f/os: i hope you know that they always refer to you with such love. doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll gush about you a ton, but theres a certain softness in their voice when they refer to you as their partner, and they seem especially eager to talk when the topic is about you. pre-relationship, they might (unknowingly) blush or get a little shy everytime your name is brought up in the conversation.
sometimes, they can’t even believe that they actually have someone to call theirs. not like they’re complaining though! in fact, they actually enjoy it when they get to refer to you as their partner, their spouse, or some other cheesy pet name in front of everyone. you can’t get embarrassed if you’re not around to hear it, right?
for your p!f/os: they talk about you pretty adoringly, too! probably even with a hint of pride as well. for example, during a conversation someone might ask them: “how’s [] been doing recently?” they’d be more than happy to gush (or bring up in a not-so-subtle brag) about any achievements, the things you’ve worked on recently, etc. sort of like a proud parent — regardless of if they actually are your parent or not..
they also always speak highly about you! just small things like complimenting your cooking, your fashion style, your humor, etc. whenever others bring it up.
#sort of old! i just changed a few things ...#self ship#fictoromantic#fictosexual#imagine your f/o#self insert community#self ship community#yumejoshi#scheduled#✦
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Hey @thehomelybadger , thank you for breaking my heart
#the way I picked up my iPad and started drawing angst#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#piltover’s finest#caitvi#arcane#fanart#jacketsketch#(this was scheduled before chap 32 came out - I need to sleep so I haven’t read it yet but oh boy)#but I also want to say before I do - thank you.#thank you so much for telling this story. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest when I say it got me through a lot these past few months#it fueled my inspiration it calmed me down on bad days when I was beating myself up with stress it gave me something to grasp onto#I love your characters - every quirk and trait you’ve gave them and this world you’ve fleshed out#I hadn’t seen a second of ice hockey and now I’m looking up reference photos and trying to get the jerseys down#i love these guys and it pains me to be letting them go already - I can’t imagine how it’s like for you - but I’m forever grateful for this#wonderful thing you’ve created out of just the pure love for the characters and for hockey#I went into this thinking ‘hey what a lovely bedtime story’#and I’m heading to its end forever changed and impacted by it for the better#so thank you badger - see you when I read the next chap
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uh, ladies? i don't feel ready to turn 27
#personal#i currently have 68 euros on my bank account bc two of my pays have been late again#upside: my rent is payed! downside: i am not sure i can currently afford breakfast ajkfdshg#and i got humiliated in an auto body shop and spilled stale mozzarella water all over myself#and got yelled at by random guys to not park literally right in front of my building#and work has been shit#and uni as well#and this is just not how i imagined my 27th birthday lol#to be fair it is tomorrow not today#but still#anyway i wanted to scream into the void#i am overworked and tired and i have been ill for over a week#and i feel like everyone is mad at me and i am continuing to make Wrong choices aaskjfdsg#i hope it is Just A Feeling#and not actual reality#adsjfhghjgfdh#anygay i have emerged to be Sad Emo uwu and now i return to my regularly scheduled suffering#pls someone tell me it's normal for your late 20's to feel like this askfjdshjgdfhjd and i can still have nice things
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my job is so kind to me ... 🥹
#will ramble in tags !#basically as i've said 500 times i'm autistic and one of the things that's made hard#is driving. i really want to but i mentally cannot imagine it and it makes me panic.#until i can get there i am Very reliant on taxis and buses. and my schedule tries to work with that#but all week my taxis have been Late. not more than 15 min but obviously it flares up on the report.#and i was very very stressed out about it because i had no control over it and was shaky and nauseous#because i LOVE my job i get to be very me here ! i'm very open and passionate and annoying and people like me :“)#so i spoke to my supervisor about how bad i feel and she spoke to the hr manager and was able to adjust the punch#times so i wouldn't get punished for smth out of my grasp. and i'm very very weepy and grateful.#this same supervisor also has given me space to catch my breath in the back when i get overwhelmed.#and makes lists for me and tells me Everything in instructions and i appreciate it so much#i feel so cared for here and it helps me do my job sm better !#my previous job could neva.#ok thank u. just feeling :“))#tbd.#workposting.
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...
#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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🤐
#random personal stuff#personal whining feel free to ignore#HOW does one - knowing full well that the boss is out with surgery for the next few weeks#and that someone else is already taking next week off and it's been already arranged for a while#and that there are only two other staff members besides -#HOW then does one decide at practically the last minute to insist on taking next week off for a vacation on a whim#leaving two people as the only library staff for a week#or perhaps expecting the one with existing plans to alter his schedule to suit this whim#I do not understand this and quite frankly I don't think much of it#especially after having a long talk with the counselor this morning about what constitutes being selfish and inconsiderate#(remind me why I pay someone to force me to deal with my feelings twice a month this was a terrible idea)#(I don't want to think about this don't make me we're all better off if I don't answer this week's reflection question)#anyway I already feel like I got something sucked out of me and now this nonsense#imagine living in a world where you could just do. things. like that. to other people. & not care. because you get your fun whim vacation.
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Feeling evil today, might kill off a character for good or somethin, idk *kicks legs*
#elijah you better count your days#i meannn if were being real everyone was scheduled to die soooo#its just a matter of 'when' at this point#not 'if'#crater city wip#spoilers#<-if anyone really cares#writing things#when i imagine blair watching every and all purpose in his life extinguish right before his eyes#it kinda makes me feel something you know
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ok i actually need ot ramble ab that wip
#ghosts rambles#in the tags ofc. smiles#no cause i have been DYING to actually animate something and the thought popped into my mind the other day#like i was rereading the isolation imagine and i was seeing it play out vividly in my head and i just. what if i animated that#i had a couple hours to kill tonight and i was stupid bored so i got to drawing !#the good thing about this is that i dont really have to quote on quote animate???#like no over the top frame by frame stuff. its a lot of still frames and only slight movements#or repeating ones#there was only 15 storyboard images i did for this so i think that says a lot#plus i like leaving it at a cliffhanger technically. u get to imagine how they work it out ^-^#there's 11 unique backgrounds i have to do and Hopefully the editing of frames wont be hard. like the phone turning on and off#and light sources from like the sun outside w choro or the light from the shades in ghosts bedroom#and obviously this will take a while. like i cant promise a definitive date of when itll be done#earliest is like prob by the end of november depending on my schedule and motivation#OK RAMBLE OVER. if u have any questions feel free to ask ^-^ i heart talking
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me, whining to my friend over text about how i can't get a single driving instructor to take me on because i am a grown woman who works full time and gets ghosted as soon as i mention that i can only do evenings and weekends bc they'd all rather teach 17-year-olds who want lessons during the day: >:(
also me, walking into the coffee shop and immediately seeing a man who has "x driving school, ask me about driving lessons" plastered all over the back of his jacket: huh
#seems like a sign to me#i did not in fact ask him but i did go on their website and fill in the form. it said “flexible lesson times to suit your schedule.”#so we'll see#worth mentioning i HATE driving.#im gay AND autistic so the odds are stacked against me#i haven't driven a car since 2017 and i'd happily never do so again#in fact for many years i insisted i never WOULD do so again#as with most things im purely doing it for my cat as i live in fear of her needing an emergency vet and me being unable to get her there#im not looking forward to trying again. i failed my test 6 times. it's just embarrassing#i fear if i fail again i'll have to consider taking lessons in an automatic to see if i can pass that way...#imagine the humiliation though :/
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woof. i am calling my therapists office tomorrow!!!
#almost quit my job then had a panic attack then my mom dropped a ‘i think this thing from when you were a teenager gave you ptsd’ bomb#i fear she’s right though considering how i reacted to being told my 3rd shift would be alone#LUCKILY the person who hired me and does the schedules is none other than my little!!!! so she talked me off the ledge#and is going to schedule me only on shifts with other hosts until im comfortable enough to be on my own#can’t imagine if this had just been a job id applied for and gotten. like.#i would not be able to say ‘hi i think i need to quit because of that one time at old navy when i was 16’#whereas lauren is one of the best friends ive ever had and knows how to maneuver my particular brand of neuroses#and was like ‘you don’t have to quit i can single-handedly solve this problem for you’
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Recent sky photos
#still... I am not joking.. every time I post things like this it is so hard to narrow them down#I am almost as obsessed with the sky as I am with cats. I have a folder of just cloud pictures with like 650 photos in it right now#I don't post them all because I think it'd seem repetitive probably but just know... lol#that could be an entire blog or something.. hundreds and hundreds...#Like the same way that I cannot explain my obsession with cats or why they've imprinted into my brain so heavily - clouds are the same way#anyway.. .still have the costume photos and stuff like that I just havent edited and posted yet lol.. I will.. hoepfully have actual art#content and stuff thats not just random cat photos sometime soon. I'm just always so preoccupied at the beginning of the year with trying to#adjust to new goals and schedules.. plus.. still wokriong on that wretched little slideshow aaaaaaaaaaaa... it is going to take me...#a million yearbs.....#I just want the worldbuiling lore established so I can branch out and do other things.. aughhhh......#also have to work on game videos and a few other vidoes.. still trying to keep up wiht the youtube a little.. I just havent been productive#like since new years as I've felt sicker with my stomach symptoms and stuff.. ToT ALSO I DID MAKE THAT ENTIRE interactive fiction game which#I still have no posted anywhere lol.. Because it was kind of to accompany something that I was doing on a game site (like imagine making a g#ame to go along with one of your neopets or something) but it works totally fine as a standalone thing as well like. so detached from the#lore of the game site in general that it'd be broadly understandable and is it's own thing of course (because I dont really like writing#other people's characters/in the confine's of other worlds so I made everything original as possible with just a loose tie in to the neopets#typw thing lol) - but I figured since it works on it's own I could post it publicly other places too like 'hey look I made something' since#that is...... kind of somehting that counts as like... being creatively productive lol? like I keep talking about getting nothing done while#also forgetting about the things I actually HAVE done. alas I continuously forget. Seriously I am so bad at social media. I am never exagger#ating for comedic effect or something. I am the type of person that could legit like. write and produce and direct and complete a movie#that will be million dollars shown in theaters or something and I would forget to mention it anywherte until like 5 months later and go 'oh#uh .. oh yeah.. i should post about that online somehwere probably.. oops' . Cursed with the 'forget about everything once it's complete'#trait. Like the way my brain works is just like. once I finish something I'm immediately like 'cool! onto the next thing!!' without processi#ng what i just did. I'm just always looking forward to the next thing. I'll finish sculptures and then throw them away or forget about them.#I take photos and they sit in the drafts for 6 months before I post them. Like to me the enjoyment comes from the PROCESS of making somehtin#g but I don't care as much about the end result so it just doesnt exist in my brain anymore once I'm done? idk.. anyway ghjbhj#SORRY.. trying to be more active. I want to make and sell sculptures again. sell all of my spare clothes too. stuff. things.. aaa.. ***
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me when my dad is actually okay with the thought of me walking home from the party when it’s completely dark outside
#bit of context:#me n my family were at some familyfriend party gathering thing for my great aunts birthday#they said it would take really short (but of course it didnt)#since it was late i asked my parents if we could go because i meeded to follow my schedule and i wanted to rest for school#they said no and i got upset so i just said ill walk home#my mom immediately said no but my dad was like ‘alr bet dyou want someone with you’#(he didnt exactly say that but you get the idea)#and i was like🤨😶#so uh yeah#not relly i vent ig i just thought it was weird#lmao imagine being cool with your kid walking three blocks to your home in the dark even though theyre a minor and very small🤣
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you know what. maybe this 1am panic is because I drank that cheeky midnight redbull along with my meds
#i went to bed so early last night so happy id fixed my sleep schedule#i do these things and i dont notice#genuinely i dont think#i only just realised that i even did that#ed mumbles#now im out here at 1am imagining things instead of chilling with my book having a snuggle in bed
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the number of times i have cried over an old man in the past twenty four hours is not FAIR (/lighthearted but also this is definitely because i'm so stressed)
#been going through some shit for the past two months#imagine telling april 2023 jessamine ''one year from now not only will you be actual friends with bruce mcculloch#but you'll also be bringing him to a zoom meeting with the department heads at your college who have been gaslighting you for 2 months''#2023 jess would just be like ''yay kith friends WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY COLLEGE IS GASLIGHTING ME''#and then i'd be like ''yeah it's a thing that's happening don't worry about it bc during that time you also got to go on tour with scott''#and 2023 jess would be like ''omg holy shit no way that's incredible!!! but still WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY COLLEGE--''#''shhh 2023 jess we're dealing with it. yeah the stress led to an identity crisis and severely disrupted my sleep schedule#but also it led to a very funny bellini email that's now in my screenshot hall of fame!!#tho you also cried over a screenshot of a text conversation with scott last night bc you miss him and he's also been dealing with#your school's bullshit almost as much as you have''#and 2023 jess would be like ''WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN'' and i'd just be like that's what i want to know!!!#gripping my desk til my knuckles turn white like ''i only have to be here one more month pls let me make it through april''#anyway this is a vent but also hopefully once all this bullshit is behind us this can me a mini-arc in the documentary#bc oh my god it's so ridiculous. and it's kind of a funny situation when you're not living in the center of it
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i have 7 assignments, total, left in school. once i finish those i'm going to be done- i graduate in may which is WILD to think about. i just have to fucking do them
#im not getting anything done today so far and its like. midway through the afternoon already#and i realized how close i am to graduating and how i have no idea what comes after that and now im just kind of directionlessly panicked#which is. really helping the situation as you could imagine /s#im really close to finishing a couple of things rn. could get at least one done today#i REALLY need to get to work on my essay bc that largely determines whether i get honours and im pretty behind schedule on it#and i havent looked at at least one final assn and i do NOT have much time left to start it. its not small#theres barely any time left in the semester at all#i just need to finish Smth today#levi.txt#i cant make myself do anything and im panicked abt that which makes it impossible to do anything#and taking breaks makes me feel guilty AND panicked so i cant even reset w a short break and come back#my parents Consistent response to my anxiety has been. poor at best. and they dont believe i have adhd at all#so if i talk to them abt either of those things they get upset w me and claim i just dont want to take their 'advice' so i cant be helped#and the advice is shit like 'dont feel that way' and 'simply go do your work'#like. i talked to my mom abt how stressed i feel bc im behind and her response was basically 'thats what you get for falling behind'#i havent seen my friends in a while either or at least not in an environment where we can actually hang out and talk#idk man. i just really wish i could stay in bed and watch a show and not feel sick bc of how anxious i am abt it all#i want to write again. i miss it a lot i havent been able to write in months now
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