will it ever be enough? when someone loves you, you feel something curl inside of you, sour and whiplike, angry at being unheard. they don't really love you, they love this facsimile you have ensconced in your rabbit body. they will chop up the bits of you looking for luck and never find the good soul you promise - their love slides off. you're viscera; you have spent a lifetime promising the blood is art.
oh but when someone hates you - well, they're right to. and you'd trip over your little grassknot legs for them. begging them to reconsider. you feel it all knifeedge, spinepoint straight through you. they're the ones who see the real you, after all; and if they can love you, you might finally feel worth something.
but if they do love you in the end, after all of that, after your heart like a fawn opens to gutter under them - you've fooled them, and it isn't worth anything anymore. they've just gone and fallen for it. the love slides right off.
once, you heard a line in a musical about being abandoned. you laughed at the time, unnerved. your voice a keen; too shaky to be candid.
will it ever be enough. will the love ever diffuse through your skin and sink into your marrow. are you even capable of feeling that - of feeling cared for - or are you still waiting, even right now, for the hunter to draw the bow and arrow. if you trust that love, even once, and are wrong, you know exactly what will happen.
and somehow you know - you'll never be able to fix that, once it's been broken.
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Off-Air (Alas/tor)
Stuck in bed for days, watched this show twice. Wrote a quickie drabble of my super bae (spoiler, I usually pick the ace character to mess with bc relate) so, here's our resident asshole Radio Demon being a little shit with some snz--anywayhereyougoenjoy!
Alastor was taking a stroll. Just a stroll. Leisurely. Perfectly natural. It just happened to route him to VoxTek. Coincidence, of course. Of course.
He grins up at the jutting, gaudy building--nothing like the unobtrusive yet classier radio tower he himself owns--and enters.
The demon workers attempt to stop him. Or, he supposes, they would, were they not so taken with such scandal--all gaping mouths and stretched jaws. Tactless.
He cruises on, not breaking stride, even as his curling smile fuzzes the monitors as he passes.
As expected, Vox cannot restrain himself enough to wait patiently for his arrival. Vox storms onto the second floor, grainy white noise snowing his screen. The attempt to surprise Alastor fails, as the much less cranky of the two reclines on one of the dime-a-dozen roller ball chairs, his lips forming a perfect V in a way only a demon’s lips can.
“What the electric fuck are you doing here?” Vox spits, his decibels rising feverishly.
Alastor sprouts from the chair and languidly flows around the room as if inspecting it. He hums, the amplitude of his voice slightly distorted. “You could do with better maintenance, my good fellow.”
Vox's left antennae twitches in annoyance. He pulses a reverb of angry signals. “Always. With. The Damn. Insults.”
Alastor ignores him. “I had an idea that might interest you,” the radio demon trills.
“If you’re here to make a deal, fucking forget it. Get the fuck out of my office,” Vox jabs an electric blue thumb over his shoulder.
Alastor glides along the edge of a desk, tutting disappointedly, his sleek clawed fingers skating across the cool surface before rubbing them together with a staticky cluck of his tongue.
“Such filth,” he rolls his fingers as if coaxing a spark to life.
“What’s it to you? I didn’t invite you, and it’s my--”
“You know,” Alastor shorts out his sentence mutely, “I was once quite riddled with a fierce dust allergy.” He turns a bemused expression, finally meeting the screen’s gaze. “It was rather…” he taps his daggerlike teeth with a red-tipped pinky, “capricious.”
Vox scoffs, but he visibly stiffens, fists curling, “You wouldn’t. You’re not even…”
Alastor snakes a sharp finger under his nose, head tilting to the side impishly, “One never truly knows when…hhh--!” his pitch jumps, throat buzzing as it leaps into the speakers on the desks, the walls. A whine sings from the hallway, piercing a dozen ears.
“HZZT-!” Another deep hitch stretches the limits of the bandwidth before the decibels crank higher. “H’pT٨ـZz٨ـzZT٨ـﮩ!”
A violent pop and two of the speakers in the room begin emitting smoke. All the screens flare blue, code running in a tizzy. Vox spins his head in a 360, eyes flashing red with rage.
“You mother--!!”
“My deepest apologies,” Alastor clutches his cane to his chest, giving his nose a coy knuckle rub and a staticky sniffle. “Such a shame,” he tsks.
Before Vox can demand it, Alastor picks up his heels, spinning the cane and strolling toward the door. “Perhaps I should return when you have upgraded to more…ah…durable equipment.”
He saunters toward the elevator, lazily waving the back of his hand. “Ta~”
Vox’s eye glitches, his teeth all fangs. “I. Fucking. Hate him.”
There is no venom quite like lies.
And no art like deceit.
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