things Remedy could definitely sell in their Official Merch Store that would undoubtedly make them A Sum of Money (a very serious and extremely cost-friendly non-exhaustive list):
- Black mug with the Federal Bureau of Control's seal on it (either the simple, clean, modern all-white version or the full coloured version)
- plushies of The Former. they're cute and i like them.
- mini-fridge that looks like AI10-KE (the Arctic Queen)
- literally just normal stationary with FBC imagery attached. Lemme buy Pope's clipboard.
- Oceanview Motel & Casino keychain
- Inverted Black Pyramid keychain
- Replica posters for all the fun little posters in the Oldest House (Do as you're told! Don't eat the Mold!)
- Get a real actual wizard to curse a buncha rubber duckies so they actually follow buyers around and quack at them (may not be profitable depending on wizard rates)
- The hairclip Jesse gets when she finishes the base game
- just. That poster Ahti has on his office door. Of himself.
- Tiny Little Hotline
- hoodie with Bureau seal on it
- small high-detail statues of Jesse and other characters (Emily, Arish, Langston, Marshall, idk) in action poses (or just dynamic poses)
- a vinyl record featuring literally nothing but Langston's freestyle poetry/rap from AWE on loop (on both sides) (cover art should be a low-res PNG of Langston with 2013 MLG sunglasses Photoshopped poorly onto him and "Langston's Greatest Hits" written in hot pink Comic sans font)
There are also a buncha Alan Wake options too:
- Life-sized cutout of Alan complete with book-holding shelf
- book sleeves so you can dress any unrelated book up as a litany of Alan's literary wonders
- Oh Deer Diner mug
- More of those thermoses (I will eradicate the scalpers that bought them all within literally seconds of them being made available)
- all the Manuscript pages from all the Alan Wake games (including the tiny amount we hear him narrate in AWE) in either an FBC "CLASSIFIED" folder or a dirty envelope
- real gun
- any and all posters from any and all AW games. Like the ones advertising Tom Zane's movies, or the ones telling you to celebrate Deerfest or the ones telling you to visit Coffee World
- plushie of Mayor Setter :)
- plushie of the Coffee World mascot (make it do the terrifying laugh when you squeeze its hand too)
- Barry Wheeler desk statue where the headlamp and Christmas lights light up
- "Not The Worst Mom" mug (PLEASE)
- deer masks
- anatomically accurate Taken-Nightingale statue with removable heart (show me the terror)
- just a framed print out of Alex Casey giving us the Look he always does
- Dr. Hartman's "The Creator's Dilemma" book sleeve so we can bask in his smug smile
- official Alan Wake branded flashlights
- Saga's sweater/sweaters?
- for $3000 Sam Lake just personally shows up at your house and sends you to the Dark Place
feel free to add more
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Billy Batson related question, as always! How do you think the League would react to Black Adam knowing who the Captain is, especially when they don’t even know? (The relationship between Billy and Teth doesn’t matter, they could be allies or enemies).
Billy Batson related questions are my personal favorites!
The idea of the Justice League not knowing who Captain Marvel's secret identity is always makes me giggle :D it's the layer of mystery and unknown danger that presents itself behind not knowing who the Big Red Cheese is that keeps them on edge sometimes. They admire their friend, but sometimes they do wonder, are they his friend? What is he? An alien? A human? A monster beneath the disguise of a man? Three kobolds in a trenchcoat? Nobody knows... They do wish to get to know their friend better.
Normally, most league members have their secret identities kept, you know, a secret. With the exception that Batman knows, of course. However, even he remains stumped on this mystery. He doesn't enjoy not knowing who Captain Marvel is behind the boy scout smile he often shines, but Batman is determined to find out one day. There's almost some respect for how well the Captain manages to hide his identity and tracks.
Meanwhile, Billy is surprised he's lasted this long with a secret identity. He's working with a braincell, half an oreo cookie, and a dream.
I got sidetracked, ack! Okay, so the relationship (depending on which version of Captain Marvel and Black Adam you are familiar with) is almost always going to be personal. There's their shared relationship with the wizard Shazam, but the one I'm most familiar with and enjoy is Black Adam being the one to have killed Billy's parents. (Also, I appreciate you separating the identity of Black Adam and Teth!)
It would be absolutely amazing and gutwrenching to see Captain Marvel shake hands with a "reformed" Black Adam, possibly during a public setting with the JL in attendance, fully knowing the truth behind his parents murders and still going through with the painful decision to let him go unpunished.
For Billy, this hurts. On a deep level that scars his heart and soul for allowing his parents deaths to go unavenged. For the years of pain, he spent alone on the streets homeless and separated from his twin sister, none of it can be fully healed no matter how hard he tries to forget. Scars fade over time, but to Billy, time is eternity. This pain will follow him for eternity.
However, as Captain Marvel, he understands that there's more to the situation that he can't control, and fighting Black Adam would only make things worse. With the wisdom of Solomon, he knows he can't justify a fight against the ruler of a nation, no matter what. So he just smiles for the camera and shakes the hand of the man who orphaned him.
It is through holding Black Adam's hand that the thought passes through his mind: the hand he's holding right now was once stained with the blood of his parents.
Then, the heroes are given a moment of privacy to be around each other without the public's eyes or ears to interfere, and that's when **** hits the fan.
Captain Marvel is avoiding Black Adam, understandably, but when Black Adam loudly calls out his name among the other heroes, Billy can't help but feel rage boil inside his divine blood.
"William. I thought you knew better than to ignore others when they're trying to talk to you. Such rudeness, I am most glad your parents were not the ones to raise such behavior in you."
Whispers among the league ensues. Was that the Captain's name? Did Black Adam know Captain Marvel on a personal level rather than just a regular hero and nemesis level? Despite the eyes watching them, waiting and prepared to step in case of a fight, the Captain grits his teeth and, through miserable eyes of a broken man, chooses to smile.
"Yeah, they really were good people, Adam. I may not live up to their expectations, but I do live for them. Every day. I suppose I have you to thank for that."
"Your gratitude is most welcome, William. May one day come where you live for Mary and Frederick, as well. They would appreciate you honoring them."
Through a wicked smile, Black Adam chuckles, turning his back to take his leave back to Khandak. Leaving Captain Marvel still smiling all alone, his fists at his side curled with rage, drawing his own divine blood from the intensity of his own strength.
After that, the league would be in all rumors and whispers about Captain Marvel. From the past, they knew that Black Adam was fond of taunting the Captain with strange and mean words during their harrowing battles, but had it all been a personal dig at him all this time? Did Black Adam have a hand in accidentally giving Captain Marvel the motivation to become a hero?
Superheroes like Batman would immediately be looking into any information they learned from this and try to decipher what is the truth behind the Captain. Or should he say, "William," now having a name to the face of the hero of Fawcett. He would also be investigating Black Adam far more closely now, should the reformed man ever step out of line. If he heard right and Black Adam had indeed killed the Captain's parents, then he needed to keep an eye on Captain Marvel, too. In case of a breakdown or instability in emotions.
On the other hand, heroes like the Flash and Superman would take the time to visit the Captain in his city and check on him. They'd be concerned after seeing how pained Captain Marvel was. If a villain like Black Adam knew who the Captain was and specifically chose not to reveal his true identity to the public and just the Justice League, then perhaps there was more to it. Superman knew as well how painful it was to let a guilty man go free because he was deemed "reformed" in the eyes of the public (Lex Luthor, ew).
Overall, there would be a whole range of emotions after finding out Black Adam knows who Captain Marvel is. And I am here for it!
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